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Ren paced in tight circles in the hotel room. This had been the first extended break from Cain and Setsuka since they had come to terms with this whole non-binary situation. Kyoko had helped them up from the floor of the bathroom and helped them into their Cain outfit. They did not talk about the scene Kyoko had walked in on and instead spent the rest of the night perfectly in character as doting brother and sister.
It had hurt, almost, to have this revelation brushed aside for the week they spent together cooped up in their hotel room. But the day they were meant to depart, Ren had woken up to find Kyoko waiting nervously at the foot of their bed. Maybe it hadn’t been too much of a surprise to see her up before them. Except she had stripped out of her Setsuka outfit and sat there waiting as Kyoko Mogami. No more characters to hide behind.
That was when they had talked. In the few hours that they had before previous engagements forced them to part ways, Kyoko asked cursory questions about Ren. About their identity. About how long they’ve felt this way. About if Ren wanted to experiment with gender neutral pronouns while they were together (they did!).
Now it was a week later and doubt had started to creep into Ren’s head. They thought that maybe Kyoko had decided she didn’t want to deal with any of their bullshit anymore. Maybe she had convinced President Takarada to take her off of this Love Me! Assignment. Too many possibilities circled through their head and, frankly, it was giving them a headache. Kyoko was supposed to be here in... They checked their watch. A minute ago.
Shit. She wasn’t going to show up. What are they supposed to--
“Sorry I’m late! Moko and I were trying out a new cafe and I lost track of time.” The door burst open to reveal Kyoko balancing her Setsuka suitcase with a coffee cup and a gift bag dangling from her pinkie. Like Ren, she wasn’t yet in her costume. They agreed to reunite this way so they would have time to talk as each other instead of as Cain and Setsu. “I did bring a surprise for you, though!”
Ren held their breath while they waited for Kyoko to set her things down. She was here. They could breathe again. “Are you late?” they asked, mid-pace. “I hadn’t noticed.”
Kyoko looked at them, and they knew they didn’t fool her. How could they? It was better than admitting that they were worried that she had abandoned them. Still, Kyoko didn’t question their lie and instead stuck her hand into the gift bag she’d brought. She pulled her hand out after only a moment of digging to reveal a thin strand of thread. “Tada!”
On second glance, Ren could tell that this wasn’t just a piece of thread Kyoko was dangling between them. It was a friendship bracelet. A very simple one made up of various braids instead of the intricately patterned knots they recalled from their childhood.
Kyoko held the bracelet up to the light so Ren could see the four colors that had been woven together. “It’s a discreet pride flag bracelet,” she explained. “When I got home last week, I looked up the nonbinary pride flag.”
From a distance, the bracelet looked gray. Up close Ren could see it was braided together with strands of yellow, white, purple, and black.
When Ren didn’t say anything, Kyoko was more than happy to fill the silence. “If someone notices that you’re wearing it, it will just look like a regular bracelet. Not loud or obvious. Most people don’t know what the nonbinary flag looks like, anyway.” She lowered her hand and met Ren’s eyes. “I know you haven’t decided if you liked ‘nonbinary’ but this way you can try the label on and see how it fits.”
Ren took the bracelet from Kyoko and ran their finger over the tight knots of embroidery thread. It was a physical manifestation of the label they’d been only seriously considering for a week. Suddenly, it felt like too much. Maybe they had made a mistake. They jumped too fast and clung to the first label that made sense. “What happens if I decide I don’t like it?” they asked. “The label, I mean.”
Kyoko reached back into her bag and pulled out more bracelets. From this distance, Ren saw flashes of purples, blues, and pinks. “Then you try a new one! You keep trying until you find something you like,” Kyoko said. “I have an arsenal of thread in my room. I can make bracelets for every flag you can imagine.”
Ren’s eyes misted and they had to blink back the tears that threatened to fall. “Thank you,” they said, their voice thick in their throat. When Kyoko had first come back to this apartment and found them trying on her clothes, Ren had thought they ruined a friendship. They had thought they had ruined their career trying to satisfy a nagging thought that wouldn’t go away. Now Kyoko was making them pride bracelets to help them get used to thinking of themself as definitely queer instead of ‘idly questioning.’ Like she was some sort of fairy godmother instead of just an incredibly kind and talented actress.
“Do you need help putting it on?” Kyoko dangled the bracelet in front of their face.
Her voice pulled them from their thoughts. They held out their wrist and offered it to Kyoko without hesitation. “Yes, please.”
Kyoko’s fingers were feather-light against Ren’s skin as she tied the bracelet around their wrist. She kept the bracelet tied close to the base of their hand so it could be easily hidden by the gloves that Cain wore. Ren had to hold themself perfectly still to keep themself from shivering under her touch. They watch as she double knots the thread. It was then that they noticed that Kyoko also had a bracelet tied around her wrist.
“You have a bracelet, too?” They asked. Ren didn’t know why they were surprised. She wouldn’t have only made bracelets for them. It was only fair that she had one, too.
“Of course!” She released Ren’s wrist to raise her hand. This one was more elaborate and brightly colored--a bracelet suited for someone perfectly comfortable in their skin and identity. Pink, purple, and blue threads were tied into a repeating flower pattern.
Ren knew that flag, at least. That was one of the first identities that they had toyed around with in their head before trying to navigate the whole gender... Situation. “The bisexual flag,” they said, not quite a question. Not one they knew how to properly ask, anyway. That was something they didn’t know about Kyoko.
“Yup. I don’t talk about it a lot because it’s nobody’s business, but once I started making bracelets I couldn’t stop. They’re really fun to make. Relaxing, too.” She scratched her head. “I ended up making a bunch for other people, too, because I don’t know when to stop.”
“Others?”
“Like Moko,” Kyoko said absentmindedly. “They’re not all pride bracelets. I made some regular friendship bracelets, too, for the girls on set.”
Wait. Back up. Ren blinked. “Kotonami-san is also bisexual?” they asked.
“No, no. She’s a lesbian.” Kyoko tilted her head, looking at Ren closely. “You really didn’t know that? She’s not shy about it, or anything. She wears a lesbian-pride flag pin on her coveralls.”
“I... No.” They licked their lips. To be honest, they didn’t pay a lot of attention to anyone these days. Ever since they started having these... Gender thoughts... It’d been hard to focus on anything else. They had never stopped to think that there might be other queer people at LME--let alone in their inner circle. Or tangential to their inner circle, as it is. Kanae probably wouldn’t consider them a friend. But maybe she could be.
“Don’t worry, I didn’t tell her about you or anything,” Kyoko continued, stepping right over their hesitation. “She just thinks that I got bored on set and taught myself how to make friendship bracelets. Which, to be fair, is mostly true. I had a lot of downtime this week because of some issues with the overhead lighting.”
“You’re amazing,” Ren breathed.
They didn’t say this because of the bracelet, not really. Part of it was, because it takes a special type of person to decide to help someone figure out their identities by making a handful of friendship bracelets. The rest of their awe came from her general existence. She was perfect, they thought. And no matter what identity Ren would eventually land on, they knew one thing for certain: They loved this girl.
Kyoko’s cheeks burned pink, and Ren smiled. They loved when she blushed.
“I’m not... I’m just...” Kyoko took a deep breath and pulled back her shoulders. “I didn’t do this because I wanted you to praise me. You deserve to be celebrated. Coming out is hard. Presents make it easier, I think.”
“That’s why you’re so amazing,” Ren said. “I know you don’t think so. But I don’t think I could have done this with anyone else. So, thank you for not laughing at me. Thank you for helping me.”
Now it was Kyoko’s turn for her eyes to well with tears. She nodded. “Thank you for trusting me,” she said. They stood together, not quite crying, for moments. They could have stayed that way all night. Luckily, Kyoko knew how to pull the situation back to the present. Cain and Setsu needed to be put together for a night-shoot for Tragic Marker. So, she wiped her eyes and met Ren’s eyes once again. “Now shall we get ready for the weekend ahead of us?”
Ren was ready to accept the change of subject. Except before they agreed, something occurred to them. They couldn’t allow Kyoko to give them a gift without doing anything in return. Simple thanks was not enough. “Can I have one moment, first?”
Kyoko blinked, surprised that they didn’t want to go right back to work. “Sure? Do want me to--”
Her question was cut off by Ren wrapping her in a tight hug. Kyoko froze in their embrace for a half-a-second before reciprocating. Ren smiled and spoke into her hair, “I don’t have a present to exchange for the one you gave me, so I hope this is enough until I can properly repay you.”
They expected Kyoko to argue, but to their surprise she did not. She only hugged them tighter.