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Each petal seemed so fragile like this. The bunch of flowers a seemingly meaningless gift. She didn’t even know what flowers her mother liked. Maybe she was allergic to them.
Iris didn’t know. She didn’t know her.
She felt Barry appear next to her.
“I don’t know which one,” Iris said.
“Something bright,” Barry said.
Iris nodded and picked up a bunch of flowers. She didn’t know what most of them were, but they were colourful, and Barry was right, having something colourful would break up the sterile white.
Barry slipped his hand into hers as she went to go pay.
“What are you doing here?” Iris asked.
“Joe told me about Francine,” Barry said. “I came to find you.”
“You didn’t have to.”
“You’re my best friend, Iris,” Barry said. “I’m supposed to be there for you, just like you always have been for me. I want to be. I know after Eddie I wasn’t and I should have been, but I’m here now. You can talk to me, about anything.”
“You were grieving,” Iris shook her head.
“So were you,” Barry said. “I was blaming myself and convinced you should hate me.”
“No, I-”
“I know.” Barry squeezed her hand. “That’s not important now. You are.”
Iris didn’t say anything for a while, and Barry left it a companionable silence as the two of them walked down the street, the bunch of flowers and Barry filling Iris’ hands.
“It’s not fair,” Iris finally broke it.
Barry made a noise of agreement.
“You had to lose your mother all over again, and mine chooses now to show up?” Iris said. “That’s not...”
Barry nodded.
“Is that why you didn’t talk to me?” he asked. “You felt guilty? Iris, you didn’t choose any of this. It’s not your fault.”
She felt tears threatening to leak out her eyes.
“And you had Patty, and I already messed things up with you and Linda, and-”
“Linda and I both agree we work better as friends,” Barry said. “You are my best friend. Patty understands that, and if she doesn’t, I’ll have the conversation with her. Have you talked to anyone?”
Iris shrugged a little.
“Iris, just think about yourself for a minute,” Barry said, only letting go of her hand to wrap his arm over her shoulders and hold her close against his always warm body, a safe and warm feeling embracing her like lightning rippling from him into her. “I know you’re hurting. Just let me help.”
“I don’t even get to know her,” Iris broke, the tears finally falling. “She came back just for me to lose her all over again; I don’t get any time to know her.”
Barry held her close, waiting for Iris to keep going.
“Why now?” Iris asked. “She had twenty years to come back and she only does it right at the end?”
“I guess she realised she didn’t have more time to wait,” Barry said.
“But why wait at all!” Iris burst out. “Why would she leave me? Why didn’t she want me?”
Barry squeezed a little tighter as Iris’ emotions finally broke free.
“Why wasn’t I good enough?” she whispered and Barry stopped walking so he could fully embrace her.
“She had twenty years to come back and she never did,” Iris said. “And I don’t even know if she- If-”
Barry waited.
“I don’t know if she did want to see me,” Iris said. “Or if she came now because she didn’t want Wally to be alone. And I know it’s not his fault, but...”
“She hurt you,” Barry said. “You’re allowed to be hurt.”
“But I didn’t get time to be angry,” Iris said. “I don’t get answers. And I’m angry with Dad, furious, he lied to me, he kept something important from me again because he made the decision that was best for me without considering how much it would hurt me finding out the truth. He lied to me for twenty years, and if he hadn’t maybe I could have- Then maybe- But if I had found her, she already proved she didn’t want me-”
Iris felt tears falling as Barry held her close.
“You’re wanted, Iris,” Barry said. “And you are so, so loved, I promise.”
Iris nodded.
“I can stay with you,” Barry said. “For as long as you need me.”
Iris nodded again and Barry let go only to take her hand again as they headed towards the hospital.