Chapter Text
“Didn't think you'd be here this late”
The air inside the practice room was chilly, but Yujin felt a different kind of shiver run down her spine when the door opened, letting an icy breeze inside. A voice chuckled hollow behind her, far away and then suddenly too close.
Yujin turned around, her forehead sweaty, strands of hair sticking to her face. At first she sighed in relief, finding a familiar face smiling back at her. But that smile was crooked, wrong in all angles.
It was odd.
Something is off. Yujin can see it by the way Gaeul is standing a few feet from her. Can feel it when the little hairs on her nape stand up, trying to warn her of somethi–, someone dangerous.
“Yeah…. I wanted to finish up some details.” She explained, trying to keep her expression as neutral as possible. She can't let Gaeul see that she is nervous. Being nervous only fueled them.
Had made him more cruel.
But it was no use. Gaeul's eyes were harsh, and just like all those years ago, fear started to cripple through the younger like a disease, feeling toxin in her veins. Pulsing through her ears, like a broken record making sure she knew that it was here to stay.
“Well, are you done?” Gaeul asked, her intentions hidden behind a lazy wave. Her warm and attentive charm was replaced by something else entirely. And Yujin felt memories pushing past the barrier, flooding over it.
It felt weird, like a Deja-vu almost, nagging her brain to remember.
But Yujin just couldn't recall. She watched Gaeul, tried to ignore how the strong smell of the older threw her off more than she would like to admit and then suddenly felt guilty and embarrassed to even stand before her.
Gaeul was mad.
Mad and terrifying in a way that struck Yujin like lightning no matter how cautious she was.
The younger gets the urge to apologize, to make up an excuse and to appease the older. As if it was her fault, her fault that Gaeul was angry. It’s the way it always was, and it left a sharp sting in her stomach.
Yujin sighed solemnly. “Yeah, I am.”
“That means you're free.” A command. “Right?”
Yujin couldn't even bring herself to look the other in the eyes. Instead her gaze was trained on the ground, a nervous nod the only thing she allowed Gaeul to see.
We can do whatever you want... Yujin didn't voice out that afterthought, knowing that it wasn't necessary. Feeling as if it had never been necessary.
All her former knowledge about the girl in front of her seemed to fall out of her consciousness. Yujin just saw a stranger now, the lines blurring towards a forgotten threat.
“Good.” Gaeul answers, standing strong and overpowering. The older was shorter than the rest of their group, and although even the youngest, got away with teasing her from time to time, Gaeul's demand for respect never got questioned. She was the alpha after all.
But right now, she looks taller, shoulders and arms wider, her fingers intertwined behind her back. She shook her face in distaste.
Yujin just stared, not understanding how she ended up here. She felt herself losing grasp of time and space, her whole world closing up behind Gaeul, the room spinning. The younger felt trapped, even if Gaeul was still at a good distance. Yujin couldn't convince her heart to calm down, not when the older was looking at her like a predator.
“Do you think it was funny to question my decision?” Gaeul soon asked, her face still unreadable.
Oh.
It felt like a light switch. Making the room spin even more. Voice booming like a buzz. Suddenly she knew what she did, hopeful to make amends.
So, Yujin shakes her head, holds Gaeul's eye-contact and dares to smile lightly. It was only an upturn of her lips, not too aggressive but surely enough to satisfy.
Because this only happens when something's bothering the older, and often it doesn't have anything to do with Yujin. It just sometimes backfires on her as the alpha's trusted beta.
And furthermore, because she somehow always gets caught in the crossfire.
“I could never ask for someone better to lead me and the others than you.” She said, watching how slowly a raised eyebrow narrowed Yujin down in a corner.
She walked back until she found herself against a wall, trapped by the only person that she had loved and feared most.
Yujin sighed, fiddling with her fingers, trying to keep some distance between her and Gaeul.
Soon she regained the strength to look Gaeul in the eyes again, still finding that golden fire.
“How can I help you? How can I make it better?” I am sorry.
And as if those words were new, as if Yujin didn't always submit, as if Gaeul would ever really hurt her, the older stared at her, smiling slowly.
Yujin always prayed for that upturn of chapped lips. Wait. Did she? With Gaeul? What the hell was happening?
But Yujin was trapped in between two realities, dazed and running on instinct, she cupped Gaeul's cheeks and pulled her closer, lowering her face to kiss the older one on her jawline.
Something that normally would make any kind of physical fight obsolete.
Yujin wanted to pull back when she suddenly felt a hand wrap around her neck, dangerously near her pulse point. She whimpered, feeling light squeezes.
“Who gave you the right to touch or kiss me in any way?” Gaeul hissed, and Yujin could feel her fingers shaking against rough skin.
Shit.
“Don't you know your place, beta?”
Unfortunately, Yujin was too caught up in her own thoughts to notice that Gaeul's voice had gotten deeper. Reaching the frequency of a male, that had smoked cigarettes his whole life.
Cigarettes. Yujin could feel her blood buzzing.
Trying to explain herself, Yujin shook her head. She stumbled backwards, her head low. “No, I would-d ne-...”
“Look at me, when you talk to me.” Gaeul hissed.
The younger shut her mouth with such force she could feel her teeth grating. She exhaled as calm as possible, breathing through her nose only to realise that Gaeul's scent was as prominent as ever.
And just for a glimpse she frowned in surprise, realising that no, that wasn't Gaeul's scent. Instead of feeling warmth and companionship, all she felt was danger and madness.
“Do you see me as anything less than a person of authority?”
That sentence was enough to make the emotions buried away finally implode.
Yujin gulped in terror. “No, I would never question you, you are my alpha and I-I”
“Yes, that is exactly what I am.” Gaeul spit out, her voice even deeper than before. She suddenly gripped Yujin by her throat, making the younger shriek out in fear.
Yujin learned not to fight it. Waited patiently for it to be already over.
When nothing happened, she opened her eyes again, rough hands treating her like a mere possession. Then she heard a chuckle. Could see the small cloud of smoke and finally her mind pieced it together.
She recognized those calloused hands, that smirk plastered upon a face she hadn't seen for years.
“You can't run from me Yujin.”
(so for everyone who skipped: basically Yujin had a nightmare in which her past abuser, an alpha at that, took on Gaeul's appearance, making her relive past hardships through a different body, leaving a rather scary aftertaste.)
Yujin jolted upwards from the mattress, looking around terrified to no end, only to find herself in total darkness. The cold air hitting her upper body, the worn-down sleepshirt sticking to her sweaty skin. Her breathing was too fast. She could feel her lungs imploding and forced herself to exhale through her nose.
The ringing in her ears soon faded to make room for her heart pounding soundly in her chest. She could feel it breaking out of her ribcage and tried to keep it in place, hand pressed firmly against trembling skin. She sighed deeply, feeling the rapid thumping against her fingertips.
It had only been a nightmare. A very bad one.
Next to her the covers started to move, and just like that she felt the panic rising again. Fortunately, the smell of lavender hit her nose and a familiar voice murmured next to her.
“Are you okay, unnie?” Rei mumbled groggily, sitting up. She tried to rub the sleep from her eyes before looking curiously at Yujin.
The older felt a smile forming on her lips. She nodded, seconds later realising that Rei's eyes were still closed. “Yeah…” She sighed out, trying to hide the shakiness of her voice. “I'm alright, don't worry.”
Rei hummed, not in a space of mind to question Yujin, before her eyes shot open, her nose scrunching up.
“You smell like someone chased you through the woods...” She grumbled.
And just like that Yujin watches how that first sleep-ridden look of displeasure turned to one of concern and empathy.
“Hey, Yujin, what happened?” She asked, scooting closer, wrapping her arms around Yujin's body embracing the older from behind.
Yujin chuckled half-heartedly. “I thought I smelled bad...” She teased, trying to divert Rei's attention.
The younger smiled against her exposed shoulder. “I don't care.”
It was quiet for some time, Rei holding Yujin securely in her arms while the latter tried to find the courage to speak up.
“You don't have to explain it, unnie.” Rei voiced out, leaning that small bit closer to press a kiss on Yujin's shoulder.
The beta nodded her head. “I know, but I feel like I have too.” Yujin sighed, trying to start somewhere. “I had a nightmare-, and as much as I want to say that it was just that; a bad dream... I can't and won't lie to you.” She stopped for a second.
Rei didn't say anything, giving Yujin all the time she needed.
“I saw Gaeul, and somehow my body directly went into a state of fear. At first, I didn't understand why Gaeul unnie in my dream felt so familiar and alienated at the same time. She behaved differently from her usual persona, but it felt as if I should be accustomed to that, as if I already was-, and right before I woke up, I realised why. Suddenly it all had started to make sense... She was only the body, the visual representation of someone I tried so hard to forget since I became a trainee...”
Rei hummed, her grip around Yujin tightening, pulling the older further into her embrace, feeling the need to make sure Yujin knew she was there for her.
“That person hurt you, didn't they?” Rei questioned, already having an idea of who it is.
Yujin nodded weakly, her hands gripping into the sheets under her. Anger rising and deflating just as quickly.
“Do you fear the possibility that that person would ever come back into your life?” Rei asked again, putting her head on Yujin's shoulder, having heard a few bits and pieces of an alpha that had made Yujin's childhood a living hell. But they never talked about it. Noone mentioned it, never asked or pondered why sometimes Yujin would visually recoil if a male alpha entered the room. It had gotten better over time, the girls adjusting to it and making sure that Yujin was never left alone. But it was expected that just burying her feelings without overcoming the trauma or seeking professional help would mean that Yujin's poorly sewed wound would rip open some times.
And Rei was still learning how to act in these situations. As a beta herself she could and couldn't understand Yujin's struggles. But she tried her best, was the type to see things rationally and to not dwell in the emotions of it all for too long. It was a trait Yujin admired and dreaded at the same time.
“He doesn't know where I am, and I want it to stay like that.” Yujin breathed out, and it made Rei wonder just how much Yujin had been shouldering on her own.
“Okay.” Rei answered, making Yujin turn to her. “And we'll do everything we can to keep you safe and happy, okay? You are our beloved leader, hmm?” She grinned cheekily, trying to cheer the older up.
Yujin shook her head, even if there was an evident smile breaking through. “You're annoying.” She mumbled, flicking Rei's forehead.
Rei jerked back, now pouting and rubbing the spot, secretly more than relieved to see the tension in Yujin's shoulders falling. Slowly dissipating.
And Yujin chased that peace, too, cupping Rei's face and massaging her cheeks, feeling soft giggles escaping her lips at Rei's content expression.
Yujin kept on massaging Rei's cheeks until her mind had finally calmed down. And Rei let her, glad that she was able to help Yujin somehow.
Both turned their heads when they heard a silent knock against the door.
Normally they would have easily heard anyone approaching Yujin's room, but somehow they hadn't noticed it this time, caught up in their own little world.
“Yes?” Yujin asked, her heartbeat picking up again.
“Don't worry, It's just me.”
Rei smiled, leaving the bed to open the door for their friend.
It was still dark in the room, the only light coming from Gaeul's bedroom down the hallway. Now that Yujin thought about it, she was glad that Rei didn't switch the lights on-, grateful that she could hide a little while longer in the shadows.
Gaeul's form was barely lit, engulfed in an oversized sleep shirt, her hair sleep-ridden and messy. A few strands falling into her face.
“What gives us this beautiful pleasure, dear alpha?” Rei teasingly questioned. She always showed a slight amusement on this whole world of alpha, beta, and omega. Never one to back down when it came to ridiculing stereotypes and questioning behaviour that was apologized by “birthright”.
Gaeul chuckled, shaking her head. She smiled at her, before letting her gaze flit over the room.
And as if Yujin knew Gaeul was looking for her, she kept her gaze low, hands fiddling with the sheets.
Without looking away from the short haired girl, Gaeul explained “I heard commotion, and something felt off...” she tilted her head, waiting patiently for Yujin to acknowledge her.
Gaeul didn't say anything else. Just stood there at the threshold of Yujin's room.
And soon, Yujin found herself forced to look up, putting on a small smile “It was just my scent... don't worry, unnie.” She dismissed, her smile not reaching her eyes.
Gaeul frowned before glancing at Rei who seemed to avoid her now, too.
“Please don't lie to me, love.” Gaeul murmured.
Using pet names was something very common for all of them, but somehow right now it left Yujin vulnerable.
Rei looked between the two of them before putting a hand on Gaeul's shoulder. “Take it slow, please. She is still shaken up...” And leaning in further, she added. “Be careful… all I know is that you were somehow in it…” Rei whispered, leaving Gaeul even more confused.
Me? Gaeul thought, Being in what exactly?
She did not understand what she had done or what even happened to make her wake-up in the middle of the night. It had felt like an obligation, a spell casted over her, pushing her to leave her warm bed and walk over to Yujin's room where the betas had decided to sleep together. Gaeul didn't understand what possessed her until she noticed Yujin's distressed scent reaching her in the hall.
And while the alpha's attention shifted from Rei - who was still resting against her shoulder - to Yujin drawing patterns on the bed, she felt a kiss right under her jaw. Gaeul smiled at the action, stroking Rei's head.
That was their way of showing their trust and love to her. A kiss under her jaw or on her mole.
And even though it started solely as an act of respect, it soon developed into something more, a true declaration of their affection and trust, leaving that tradition to something only she received. Sweet and intimate. At a place she wouldn't let anyone touch besides them.
“I-I will just go to Wonyoung,... good night.” Rei said, getting an approving nod from the older.
After that she slowly left the room, leaving Gaeul still standing in the doorway.
The older leaned against it, taking Rei's advice by heart and keeping distance between them.
“I felt your fear, Yujinnie… I don't know what happened and I can understand if you don- “
“I had a nightmare.” Yujin interjected in one breath, her shoulders hanging low, still not looking at Gaeul.
The older felt her heart dropping, suddenly unable to stay away. She took one step further, the light from the window now outlining the hesitance between her brows.
“Can I come closer?” Gaeul asked, voice barely above a whisper.
She too had learned to adjust to Yujin's needs. Which for her as the only alpha in close proximity meant to always ask for permission to be in her space, because while it was clear for everyone else, Yujin needed verbal clarification that it was her choice whom to let come closer. And that she can always refuse to. That just because Gaeul was an alpha didn't allow her to do whatever she wanted.
Gaeul understood very well that for Yujin to feel comfortable, she would have to tame her scent to a minimum, would have to ask and assure along the way.
“Yeah.” Yujin mumbled. She patted the spot on the bed next to her.
Gaeul moved slowly, sitting down a safe distance away. “Can I do anything for you?”
The beta's smile softened, shaking her head. “It's alright. You're already doing enough.”
“Doesn't mean that I can't ask. And never hesitate to tell me. I am here to help.” Gaeul sighed, regarding Yujin almost sad, brows furrowed and lips pursed. She turned away, looking up at the ceiling. “I know it's hard for you to tell me things-”.
“But I want to change that.” Yujin exclaimed, falling over her words. At the realization that she had just interrupted an alpha, Yujin cowered back, head low. “I am sor-”
“Yujin.” Gaeul intervened. “Stop saying sorry for simply interrupting.” And she could hear the anger in her voice, barely holding back the venom on her lips. “I can't even imagine what he might've done, for you to act like that but remember that I am not like that.” Gaeul's voice broke. “I am trying so hard to make you feel safe around me, I always thought I was doing the best I could and that you'd slowly lose those forcefully trained reactions but every time something happens you coil back, and I can't help but feel my insides churning for revenge.” There was mirth in her voice. Oh, what would Gaeul do for just 5 minutes with that idiot of an alpha that hurt Yujin's trust.
She shook her head in defeat, now searching for Yujin's eyes only to find the other already staring at her through heavy eyelids.
So Gaeul took a deep breath and tried again. “Please, I don't know what to do to make you realize that I am not like that. I don't know how to make you accept me,... I feel like I am failing at the most important task an alpha could have. I am supposed to provide for you, but all I seem to do is hurt you.”
Desperate, Gaeul looked up to find slow tears falling down Yujin's cheek. But before she could do anything, the younger rubbed them away in a haste. “You, you aren't hurting me, and it's my fault that I can't seem to overcome-”
“It's not your fault, Yujin.” Gaeul voiced out, now close to tears, too. “Yujin, please,- dammit it's not your fault!” She exclaimed frustrated, hiding her face behind her eyes.
There was silence now, Yujin's sniffles reaching Gaeul's ears and she could feel her scent turn to something between defeat and painful apprehension.
“If I am burdening you, tell me to leave.” She let her arms fall to her sides. “When I woke up my instincts told me there was something happening but now I feel like it was wrong for me to come here. I would never forgive myself if I made you uncomfortable.”
Yujin watched her, saw her deflated shoulders and felt like crying again. Because it was true.
Gaeul treats her a lot differently than the others. She never initiates contact, never tries to use her scent to calm and comfort her, even if Yujin had over and over again tried to explain that Gaeul's potent scent of jasmine was nothing like his. That her scent was strong but soft in all the right places.
Yujin actually started to like the occasional spike of jasmine invading her whenever Gaeul was too preoccupied to notice – exhausted from running the same choreo a million times already or when they would watch a movie and Gaeul's too engrossed to realise.
She had tried to explain it, tried to voice it out. But truthfully it never really was able to slip past the barrier between her teeth, stuck at the bottom of her tongue.
And Gaeul had accepted her stuttering more often than she could count. Had never asked for her to repeat herself when Yujin spluttered out broken syllables. And so Yujin didn't. Always choosing to ignore the curiosity in Gaeul's eyes.
“I saw him in my nightmare.” She murmured, mentally reaching out. She wanted to show that she was trying just as much.
The worry on Gaeul's face lit up just a little, clear excitement in her eyes. Then Yujin's words seemed to really register in her mind, and the frown was back in full force. “You wanna tell me what happened?”
Yujin shrugged, fighting through the urge to just keep her mouth shut. Because that would've been what he had wanted from her. But looking at Gaeul, Yujin found a plea in her gaze.
Please, Yujin, I am not him.
She smiled, as if she had actually heard Gaeul's thoughts. Yes, you are not him.
“He was doing what he always did. Intimidate and abuse me.” Yujin whispered, now looking away. It took her a lot to say it so plainly, but the sparkle in Gaeul's eyes made it all worth it.
“And-”
“But he had your face.” Yujin said, blurting it out before she could regret it. Hesitant, she looked up again, searching for anything on Gaeul's face. Scolding herself when she realized that she was mostly searching for clues of anger.
Gaeul looked at her starstruck, opening her mouth and closing it again, like a fish out the water.
“I-” She started again, only for Yujin to interrupt her once more.
“And I know how that sounds- I just wanted to make sure that you know it's not what I actually feel about you. It's just my mind playing games with me and I shou-”
“Yujin.” It was said so softly, her name a mere whisper. “Yujin, no it's okay.” Gaeul shook her head, and Yujin could clearly see the tears falling now. ”I don't understand- I can't–” The older looked up and smiled at her. “I-I don't even have the words to say how much I thank you for telling me. I can imagine that it took a lot from you, and I will treasure your trust like a part of my heart.”
Yujin chuckled. “So cheesy.” She retorted, offering a smile.
Gaeul rolled her eyes, joining her in hiccuped laughter.
At some point Gaeul felt Yujin moving closer, reaching out tentatively. And then Gaeul felt Yujin's warm palm against her, their hands intertwined.
“I was horrified. But I want you to understand that I don't see you like that. Not anymore at least. I can't help the initial repulsion every time a new alpha introduces themselves but you showed me over and over again how an alpha is supposed to be and I am forever grateful for that.” She sighed. “I used to talk with the others, ask them, try to understand why you were so different from him. They only spoke highly of you and with time I realised how wrong I was to compare you both.” She smiled. “Sometimes that old fear just resurfaces, even if I wished I could just forget him and write the book new with you.”
Gaeul didn't even know how to respond, mouth open, utterly speechless. There were stars in her eyes and Yujin couldn't help but accept that the pride grin forming on Gaeul's face delighted her. It made her happy that Gaeul was happy.
“When was that? I-i mean how did I never notice?” Gaeul asked, squeezing Yujin's hand reassuringly.
“Mostly the first few weeks. Jiwon, Hyunseo and Rei would sit down on a table and just talk. Talk about you, the company, how much was shared by the manager and lastly promise that if you'd ever do anything they would beat you up for me.”
Gaeul raised an eyebrow. “They what now?”
Yujin pursed her lips, feeling complicit in the threats and promises they used to share. “It's a long time ago and I can tell that they were only joking.”
“I hope they weren't though because I would do the same.” Gaeul mumbled. “If anyone hurts you, I will hurt them, too.”
“Wow, wow, that wasn't the goal of my tellings.”
Gaeul shrugged, a lazy grin on her lips. “Doesn't change the fact that my job is to protect you. If that means fighting literal idiots that dare come too close, then so be it.”
Yujin watched her slightly amused. “I always thought your height would make you a little softer... seems like it only made you more aggressive.”
Gaeul punched her shoulder. “What does my height have to do with anything?!” She exclaimed. “What happened to being nice?”
Yujin giggled, feeling the stress from earlier finally leave her body.
And Gaeul seemed to notice, now smiling dopey from ear to ear. She chuckled, shaking her head. “Whatever.”
Yujin smiled too. Feeling her heart beating out of her chest. “Thank you.” She mumbled, coming closer.
Gaeul looked up tenderly. “Nothing to thank me for. I am here for you, always.” She whispered, holding onto Yujin's hand, kissing her knuckles.
Yujin's heart swooned at the action. Yeah, it would take time. But with Gaeul, she knew that she was safe.
It was quiet again.
“I will leave now.” Gaeul let go off her hand, standing up. “I don't want to keep you from sleeping and we have an early schedule tomorrow.”
But before the older could distance herself, she felt Yujin tugging at her wrist. “-wait.”
She halted, regarding her. “What is it? Do you need anything?”
Yujin shook her head, mind dizzy. Sometimes Yujin had the feeling Gaeul would do anything for her.
“Stay.” She mumbled, averting Gaeul's eyes. “Rei already left and I don't want to be alone right now.”
There was a soft inhale.
“A-are you sure?” Gaeul whispered, holding her breath. Yujin had never offered her to stay the night. It had never been only them.
Yujin took a deep breath, already feeling Gaeul's scent around her. She looked up, pulling Gaeul closer by her forearm.
“What else would help me get better than being around you?” She murmured, voice shaky but eyes determined.
Gaeul blinked. Feeling her mind freeze upon the fierce gaze staring at her, then she noticed a helpless smile and her brain started running to catch up.
“I-i, yes, okay. Of course.” She stuttered, fearing that her slow reaction would give off the wrong vibe.
Yujin raised an eyebrow. “You alright?”
“Yes, of course. Why wouldn't I be?” Gaeul questioned, unable to bite back a grin.
“Then sit down again.”
As if hit by lightning, Gaeul sat back down, spine as straight as a ruler.
Yujin couldn't help but laugh, scooting slowly closer.
“Is this okay?” She mumbled, pulling Gaeul into hesitant arms, head propped onto her shoulder.
“Yes.” Gaeul whispered, nodding her head vigorously. At Yujin's warmth resting against her back, Gaeul relaxed. Leaning against Yujin's frame, closing her eyes at the sudden intimacy.
If someone had told her Yujin would be hugging her like this in the middle of the night she would've laughed in their face. Her and Yujin? Never. She would never burden the beta to something so intimate.
And so it was all the more surprising to see Yujin reach out first.
Feeling Yujin's arms wrapped around her torso, Gaeul couldn't help but pride herself in the younger's initiative. Yujin had never come this close off of her own accord, never mind actively searching for physical touch with the alpha. But Gaeul would take anything she could get with a thank you kiss.
“Still alright?” Gaeul mumbled, turning her head just slightly to find Yujin's head on her shoulder. Eyes closed, features relaxed.
Yujin hummed. “You're warm.”
“You, too. In a good way.” Gaeul offered, smiling sheepishly.
At that Yujin opened her eyes, finding the alpha already staring at her.
It was now or never, Yujin thought, feeling a blush already forming on her cheeks.
“You know, I-i actually like your scent, unnie. It's sweet and gentle and I love jasmine.”
She could feel Gaeul literally jump in her embrace. Totally shocked, she turned around, forcing Yujin to let go of her.
“You do?” There was surprise in her eyes. “I always thought that alphas inevitably smell similar, that it would remind you of him and I was scared tha-”
“I know.” Yujin mumbled, fiddling with her hands. “But your smell is nothing like his and I never disliked it. I only recently realised that you were taming it around me.”
“did the others tell you?” Gaeul asked, now a teasing smile on her lips.
Yujin rolled her eyes. “No, dummy.” She laughed softly. “You sometimes get too tired to remember. We occasionally come close enough in the practice room but I really acknowledged it a few weeks ago when you sat down next to me and Wonyoung, sprawling your limbs across the ground like a starfish. I suddenly smelled flowers everywhere and I know for a fact that Wonyoung smells like cherries.”
Gaeul scratched her nape embarrassed. “I didn't want to overwhelm you.”
I know. Yujin wanted to say.
“You weren't.” She told her instead. “I can't even fathom how attentive you are to catch the smallest details, to even think of taming your scent around me just because you think that it might bother me.” She shook her head, biting her lip. “Looking at the other alpha's around us I have the feeling you are setting my standards too high.”
Gaeul slapped her arm. “I better be.” She grumbled, though there was no real malice in her voice.
“And you? You got your sights on someone recently?” Yujin asked.
Gaeul raised an eyebrow at the sudden change of topic, but didn't comment on it. Rolling her eyes, she grumbled instead.“No, of course not.” She rested her back on the mattress, arms flailing around as her head layed on the crumpled blanket.
A starfish, Yujin thought, smiling amused.
“How am I supposed to when I smell like the others, all the freaking time.” She propped an elbow behind her. “Do you know just how much effort they are putting into making sure that their scents stick to me no matter where I go? It's like they love to make it difficult.”
Yujin watched her, silent for a moment. “They do?”
Gaeul stared at her dumbfounded. “You never realised?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “Does Rei do it, too?”
Tilting her head, Gaeul nodded. “But I guess she does it out of spite. Betas can't actually track all that, right? Maybe that's why you never noticed.”
“I never pondered over it.” Yujin admitted. “I can smell your scents but it's more like an afterthought.”
“No wonder you never told Hyunseo to stop scenting you… –you never felt it.”
“I-i, she what?” Yujin called, eyes blown wide.
The alpha laughed amused. “Yujin, you and Rei are just as marked by the three omegas as I am.”
“I, wait, really?”
“Yeah, of course. You belong to us just as much as we belong to you.”
Yujin took it all in, feeling something heavy settling in her stomach. But its weight wasn't overwhelming her, it wasn't crushing her until she couldn't breath... no, it was comforting. Assuring her that she was safe here. That she had never felt as warm as she did right now. In the presence of an alpha of all things.
“And you?” Voice barely above a whisper. “Do you scent them–, do you scent us, too?”
Gaeul tilted her head, barely holding back a lopsided smile. “Of course, I do. All of them but you. That's why alphas that don't know us automatically think they have a chance. They assume that the lack of my scent on you means they can try and make a move.”
“Oh, really?” Yujin had never thought about that. Had never even tried to understand alpha's behaviour. She had found it appalling from the beginning, so why engage in the first place. “That explains why the omegas always cling to me more than usual when we have strangers around us.”
“Yeah, they try to compensate.” Gaeul sighed, propping herself up on her hands. “-but alphas are stupid and arrogant and some can't take a hint. They think that no matter how much omega scent sticks on you, as long as there is no alpha claiming you, they are free to approach.”
“But nobody ever approached me?”
Gaeul gave her a slight glance, a lazy smirk playing on her lips. She laid down again, hands resting behind her head, an accomplished grin reaching from ear to ear. “No, because no matter how small I might seem, I can be scary.”
“Scary as in…?”
Gaeul hummed, closing her eyes.
“What the hell did you do?” Yujin reached out, shaking Gaeul's shoulder. “Don't tell me you fought them?!”
The alpha started laughing under the attack, opening her eyes again. “N-no of course not!” But Yujin didn't stop, especially because Gaeul's smile only widened. “I-i mean, at least n-not all of the-em!” She defended, giggling into Yujin's advances.
“WHAT?!”
“SHHH.” Gaeul reprimanded, taking hold of Yujin's wrists, making her halt. Gaeul looked towards the door, trying to find out if they had woken up the others. Hearing nothing she sighed relieved. “Don't be so loud.” She whispered, finding Yujin's face inches away.
The beta was staring at her, and only now did Gaeul notice the position she was in. Yujin was right next to her, their thighs touching, Yujin's face hovering over her own.
Gaeul immediately let go, fearing that the image of hands around her wrists would trigger Yujin's flight instincts.
But the beta hadn't even noticed it.
Because here, Gaeul's face so close she could see the moonlight reflecting in her eyes, Yujin could for the first time really feel Gaeul's presence beside her.
Warm and fuzzy. That same curiosity swimming in her eyes. Even though Yujin knew that if she decided to keep quiet and retreat, the older would never chase her.
There was no pressure, no need to perform and Yujin couldn't ask for more.
She smiled wide, taking a deep breath. Surprised to notice that Gaeul didn't only smell of jasmine, but there was a hint of honey mixed in between.
Here, Yujin was close enough to finally understand why Rei would hold onto the older, nuzzle into Gaeul's neck searching for comfort when the chaos would lastly overwhelm even the most level-headed out of them.
It knocked the air out of her lungs, filled every space in her brain, made her fingertips tingle.
“Hey, are you okay?” Gaeul whispered, gaze flitting from Yujin's right eye to her left one.
“Yeah.” Yujin answered breathlessly, blinking herself awake again. “I-i am.”
“Okay.” Gaeul breathed. “That's good.” She felt weirdly scrutinized, Yujin still too close.
Gaeul watched emotions flitting over Yujin's features unsure how to read them. The beta's body language wasn't really telling, but the alpha counted her blessings and hoped for the best.
Eager too understand, Gaeul felt herself chasing for more. She had to reign in the pit of her feelings. The overcoming need to pull even closer.
She looked away, suppressing the shaking of her hands.
Yujin seemed to realise at last, shuffling back embarrassed.
It was silent for a while, Gaeul watching Yujin from her position still against the sheets, the younger sitting at the edge of the bed, fiddling with her hands.
“I hope I didn't wake them up.”
“Oh, I am sure you didn't. You are the light sleeper, remember?”
Yujin looked up and Gaeul couldn't help but coo at the cute pout. “Oh and by the way-” She started, closing her eyes, readjusting the pillow and taking hold of the blanket. “I like your cinnamon scent, too. It is soothing, and only really intensifies when you are truly moved.” She smiled, pulling the blanket over herself. Voice muffled now, she added. “I know you normally sleep on the right side, so I guess I will take the left.”
And Gaeul knew she was being watched, could feel Yujin's heavy gaze on her. But she wouldn't press on it. Yujin would have to decide what she wanted to do now.
It was silent for a very long time, and Gaeul started to fear that maybe Yujin changed her mind and didn't want her to stay the night. She belatedly realised that she had let her scent flood the room, scolding herself and taming it now as far as she could, overthinking if maybe it had been too much all of the sudden.
“Your favourite?”
If it hadn't been so quiet Gaeul would've missed it. “Hm?” She hummed, wrapping the blanket tighter around her.
“I-i,-” Yujin bit on her bottom lip, watching Gaeul squint through drowsy eyelids.
“What did you say?” The alpha asked, voice rumbling deeply through the room.
“Oh, nothing.” Yujin murmured, standing up.
“Where are you going?” Suddenly Gaeul was wide awake.
And Yujin gave her a warm smile. “I just wanted to wash up a little, I probably stink by now.”
Gaeul nodded absentmindedly, only to then shake her head. “No, no you don't. It's fine.”
The younger suppressed a snicker, making her trip to the bathroom quick and as silent as possible.
Coming back she found Gaeul already fast asleep, swallowed by the blanket, breathing evenly. The alpha's back was turned to her, and in the spur of the moment, Yujin quickly changed into lighter clothes. Knowing that Gaeul's body was on the warmer side, in contrast to Rei whose icy hands and feet would always find her under the blanket.
The moment she let her body rest against the bed, mattress dipping under the weight, she heard Gaeul's incoherent mumbles.
“you back?”
“Yeah, I am back.” Yujin whispered into the night, even if Gaeul probably wouldn't hear her.
“good.” was the unexpected answer, nestling in Yujin's heart like a seed promised to bloom.
Yujin moved further, slowly falling into the sheets, and as expected, the temperature under the blanket was perfect for the loose shirt and soft shorts.
Getting comfortable, she hummed to herself, snuggling further into the pillow with a big happy smile on her face.
She could hear soft chuckles. “You sound adorable.”
Somewhere in between Yujin's own thoughts occupying her mind, Gaeul had turned around. And now, looking up, she found the older staring at her, hair mussed, lips glossy.
Yujin felt her cheeks reddening, the blush reaching up to her ears. “I-i” She swallowed and something in Gaeul's eyes reflected such unconditional adoration, that Yujin couldn't help but stare right back. Smiling softly. “It's warm here.”
Gaeul giggled, closing her eyes again. Her voice raspy now and sleep-driven. “A reason why I sleep mostly alone in summer. The others get easily bothered by my body heat.”
Yujin pursed her lips, bouts of laughter dissolving into the small space between them. “But they abuse it in the winter, don't they?”
The alpha hummed, nodding against the pillow, and it all made Yujin a little insane. She looked so freaking adorable.
“Wonyoung once called me her personal heater and I haven't recovered since.”
Yujin reached out to push against Gaeul's blanket covered shoulder, making the older shake in soft snickers.
It soon got quiet again, the two of them silently regarding each other, eyelids closing half-way only to be forced open.
Until Gaeul sighed, turning her body again.
“We should really sleep, Yujin.”
The beta hummed, now staring at the small patch of skin that had been uncovered. Gaeul's upper back was visible and Yujin suddenly started to overthink reality. Hadn't she been wearing a sweater?
Why was Yujin suddenly able to see her shoulder, soft light from the window reflecting upon subtle defined muscle.
Yujin could feel her cheeks heating up again, embarrassed at her own uncontrolled thoughts drifting everywhere instead of sleep.
“Yujin, what are you thinking about?”
“w-what?” She stuttered, feeling her cheeks turning pink.
Gaeul hummed. “I don't know if you noticed but your scent got heavier.” She pulled the blanket further up, unconsciously covering up the same patch of skin that had Yujin go all Victorian man on her.
“I-i, nothing.” She argued, falling over her words, heart beating in her head.
She could hear Gaeul's soft giggles and had to refrain herself from doing something stupid.
---
Yujin couldn't really sleep. Every time she closed her eyes she felt her heartbeat thrumming in her ears, every inhale just reminded her more and more of the figure on the other side of the bed. Her senses were dull in comparison to omegas and alphas, but even she knew that Rei's lavender had started to fade, Gaeul's jasmine becoming more present by the second.
And still, Yujin knew that there was something wrong with the way cinnamon was dominating the room, simmering into every corner.
Time passed and soon Gaeul's scent turned so thin that Yujin was almost sure she had started to tame it all over again. But before Yujin could protest, really trying her best to get better, she heard soft snores reaching her ear. It only then registered that maybe the reason for the dissipating jasmine was because Gaeul had fallen asleep.
And so naturally, Yujin talked some sense into her way too active brain. It was way too late into the night for her to be this caught up. Closing her eyes harder, pulling the blanket over her body and listening in on GaeulGs soft breaths, she slowly fell into a deep slumber. The alphas steady exhales lulling her to sleep.
Maybe it will all work out in the end.