Archive of Our Own

Dawn in the Grasslands was an affair of green and gold sunbeams, rays of light passing through the trees and the broken sails of old Republic windmills, and finally, a window, to land in a perfect square on Tifa Lockhart's face.

She stirred, a dark dream already half-forgotten, and sat up, cool air invading the sheets as the room around her came into focus.

Beside her, sharing the guesthouse's double bed, was Aerith, sleeping soundly with her long hair sprawled across their only pillow. On her other side was a single bed, presently more than occupied by the gigantic figure of Barret, and in the room's far corner was a pair of bunks, Red XIII's smouldering tail hanging down from the top bed.

Below him, the other bunk was empty.

Silently, Tifa padded across the room and collected her boots, then slipped through the door and out into the morning sunlight.

The ranch was busy, Bill himself already at work corralling some chocobos into the gigantic square pen in the centre of the field. The birds seemed to glow in the sunrise, yellow feathers like thick smears of paint on a palette. She pulled on her boots and set out onto the hard-packed dirt, first marching a circle around the guesthouse, then the stables, and finally approaching Bill.

He waved to her at first and then hesitated, a shadow passing across his face.

"Mornin' Tifa," he said. "Everything alright?"

"Heya Bill. Is... Cloud around?"

"Oh, no. He took off early with Peako. Seemed like he was in a hurry."

He frowned.

"Tifa?"

They had breakfast in the farmhouse, at a tiny table packed high with plates and bowls and boxes of cutlery and steaming pots of soup. Tifa sat clutching a mug of lukewarm coffee in her hands while the others talked. About Shinra, about wildflowers, about men in black robes, anything but the obvious.

It was Barret who eventually brought it up.

"So where's solider-boy got off to anyway?" he asked. "He didn't say nothin' to me about heading off on his own."

Tifa felt her hands tighten on the cup.

"Me neither," said Red.

Aerith shrugged and covered her mouth with a hand, mumbling something incomprehensible through a mouthful of toast.

"Well," Barret grumbled. "He took our only bird, so until he gets back we're stuck walkin'."

"And what if he doesn't..."

The words came out of Tifa's mouth before she could stop them, spurred by the icy feeling in her chest.

There was a moment of silence, and then all three of the others spoke at once.

"I- Tifa- Hey-"

Barret cleared his throat, the others falling silent.

"You really think Cloud would just take off?" he asked, his eyebrows pulled together.

She shrugged, afraid to say anything.

"The man has his secrets," Red offered. "But he does not strike me as a defector."

"Come on guys," Aerith interjected. "Cloud'll probably be back in a few hours when he's done with whatever dumb idea he's had."

"Why..." Tifa asked. "What would he want to hide from us?"

Aerith made a face.

"Because, he is a boy! Of a certain age, who has no doubt been overcome with the desire to do something extremely stupid," she said, "especially in the service of trying to look cool and mysterious."

Barret chuckled.

"So what then," Red asked. "Should we go after him?"

"I guess, yeah," Aerith replied. "Think you can sniff him out?"

"Him? Maybe not. But that bird of his will leave a trail strong enough for anyone with a nose to follow."

"Perfect!" Aerith raised her fork.

"First, breakfast!" she exclaimed. "Then, we go rescue our fearless idiot leader!"

Westward, the road took them away from the ranch and back the way they had come the previous day. Red lead them, at first a little unsure of himself, and then eventually more and more confidently as the smells, he explained, grew less cacophonous and more like a familiar tune.

They had been walking for perhaps half an hour when they came across the upturned mail cart, still sitting by the road where they had found it the day before. It lay tipped on its side, both driver and draught bird long gone, the cart's painted wooden siding damaged by a fearsome array of claw marks.

"Stuff's still where we left it," Barret said, glancing inside.

Yesterday the five of them, Cloud included, had spent some time gathering the mess of letters and packages and boxes that had spilled out onto the road, doing their best to put them all back into the cart and out of the elements. Tifa had thought they had gotten everything, but now though, she spotted something by the side of the road, a glimmer of white in the dappled green that turned out to be an envelope.

She picked it up.

Neat lettering on the front addressed it to the Junon Port Authority, Larboard Junon, though the handwriting had been covered by an angry red stamp.

"Wha'cha got there?"

Tifa stepped over to the others, showing them the envelope.

"Something we missed. I guess I'll put it with the rest."

She stepped over to the cart and then stopped, Barret holding up a hand.

"You know call me crazy..." he frowned. "But I reckon I seen something just like that before."

"Yeah..." Aerith added. "Me too. A letter with that big red stamp on it. Cloud had one. Just yesterday. I wondered where he got it."

Tifa turned the envelope over, finding the return address written on the back.

The three of them stared at the envelope for a long moment, until Red broke the silence.

"The trail goes this way," he said, indicating the road leading west, toward a gentle hill dotted with old Republic windmills.

Tucking the letter in her pocket, Tifa turned and followed him.

Mildred had indeed seen Cloud.

The four of them were crowded into one of the windmills, a high dark space filled with the sounds of creaking shafts and rattling wooden gears, the light shifting as the blades turned overhead. Mildred herself was half lying on the floor, reaching underneath some kind of platform made of wood and wires that was attached to a scaffold on the inside of the mill.

Tifa wouldn't have bet on it, but the contraption looked almost like an elevator.

"Came by this morning," Mildred said. "Had a bird with him and some kind of mission on his mind."

With a grunt of effort, she pulled something out of the mechanical underbelly of the platform, a two-foot long metal rod that ended with an ugly rended point.

"Bastard of a thing," she cursed at the rod.

"What was Cloud after?" Tifa asked.

"Oh. He wanted some info about a job I posted," Mildred replied. "While ago I ordered some parts for this wretched thing that haven't come in yet. Mythrosteel. Amazing stuff but the fiends love it for some reason, and I reckon the shipment might have been lost."

Tifa exchanged a quick look with Barret.

"We found a mail cart," he said. "out on the road. Sliced open by something big."

Mildred nodded.

"Cloud told me. He also said there was nothing like this inside."

She held up the broken rod for them, so that it caught one of the sunbeams illuminating the darkened interior of the mill. Tifa almost gasped. In the light she could see that the surface glimmered with silvery patterns, veins of mythril that had been folded dozens of times into the metal.

It was beautiful. And clearly broken, the inside even shinier at the break.

"No, there was nothin' that big," Barret said. "Just letters and little boxes an' stuff."

Mildred nodded grimly.

"So Cloud's off looking for a fiend then?" Tifa said.

"Actually, he was heading into Kalm first," Mildred said, "and planned to go hunting after."

Kalm.

"Oh. Okay, well... Thanks so much for your help," Tifa said. "If he comes by again, please tell him that we're worried about him."

Kalm.

She could see the town at the top of the cliffs ahead, rooftops silhouetted against the empty blue sky. One of those buildings was the Inn, and on one of those rooftops was the last time she had properly spoken to Cloud.

The thought made her feel sick.

"I thought we could just pick up where we left off, like nothing had changed... But I guess I was wrong."

"Guess so."

She had slammed the door in his face. It had seemed so natural, so right at the time, the feelings of hurt and betrayal raging inside her.

Now though, she felt cold.

"Hey... You alright?" Barret asked quietly.

The two of them had fallen back a bit from Red and Aerith, far enough to be out of earshot.

"Yeah, fine," Tifa said quickly. "Just... A little worried I guess, about Cloud."

"Hmmm." Barret walked in silence for a moment. "You really think he'd walk out on us?"

An icy lance of guilt stabbed inside her, words pouring out of her mouth before she could stop them.

"That night, in Kalm," she said. "When Cloud told the story of what happened at Nibelheim, I... We talked. And one thing kind of lead to another, and... And I said something. Something I shouldn't have. And..."

She inhaled, trying not to cry.

"This is all my fault," she whispered.

A steady hand touched her on the shoulder.

"Now don't you go takin' credit for someone else's dumbassery," Barret said, his voice low and serious. "Kid's hidin' stuff from us. Stuff we oughta' know. Ain't your fault for askin'."

He gestured and they starting walking again, Aerith and Red now well up the road, the path steepening as they approached the town. For a minute they walked together, hurrying to catch up, until Barret leaned in and spoke to her warmly.

"And I wouldn't be so sure if I were you," he said. "That Cloud's run off without cha'. Kid was about as cut up about that little fight as you were. Maybe more so."

Kalm was busy. A market day, with dozens of stalls set up in the main square, and crowds of people filtering through the narrow streets. Alone, Tifa checked first the bar, then the clocktower and then, finally, made her way back down toward the inn, scanning faces and figures as she went.

On her way she passed the Help Wanted board, which was much as she remembered it from a few days ago except that there was a large poster that had been newly plastered over the yellowing notices.

It depicted a fearsome creature: a bird-like beast with feathers and scales and a viciously hooked beak.

The poster called it "Quetzalcoatl".

So far the reward was unclaimed.

Pushing through the crowd, Tifa was relieved to step into the Inn and find it blessedly quiet, the common room empty except for the woman at the service counter across from the door.

She caught the girl's eye and gave her a nod, then crossed the room toward Innkeeper's office, an open doorway behind yet another desk in the far corner of the room. She tapped a finger on the doorframe and waited a moment, then tapped her finger again, and waited a moment longer.

The door to the office was open. Tifa could even see the empty chair inside, plush leather that was soft and worn from many years of use.

"Looking for Broden?"

Tifa turned, walking back over to the woman behind the other counter.

"Uh, yeah," she said. "I'm happy to wait if he's busy."

The woman shook her head.

"Afraid he's out today. If you need to see him, you'll have to come back tomorrow."

Tifa blinked in surprise.

"Anything I can help you with?" the woman asked.

"Oh... Yeah. I'm looking for a, friend, of mine. He's a tall guy, with blonde hair, blue-green eyes. Carries a big sword around."

The girl was nodding, her brow furrowed.

"You haven't seem him," Tifa continued, "today, at all?"

Now a shake of the head, emphatic.

"Nope. Last I saw, he was here with you. What, he's in some kinda trouble?"

"Oh, no. We're just..."

Tifa couldn't even think of what to say.

"You know what, nevermind. Thanks so much for your help anyway. Tell Broden I hope he's feeling better too, when you see him."

The woman smiled, giving her a polite bow, and Tifa turned and stepped out of the inn, into the noise and the hustle of the market. She found a shady bench near their agreed meeting spot and sat down, trying to calm the knot of worry in her chest with some deep breathing.

Something strange was going on.

Tifa realised that in her haste to leave the Inn, she had forgotten to even ask about the letter. She pulled it out now, the rich creamy paper feeling soft and textured in her hands, the whiteness a little scuffed and dirty from spending a night beside the road. On the front was the destination address, now covered in red ink. On the back, the sender.

So Broden had sent the letter, and then the Port Authority had returned it?

"Hey, any luck?"

Tifa looked up, seeing Aerith approach out of the crowd.

She shook her head, making room for the other woman on the stone bench.

"No. I asked at the Inn and the bar and no one had seen him. How about you?"

Aerith made a face, throwing up her hands and sitting down.

"Urgh. You'd think people would remember a pretty boy with those eyes, but half of them didn't even know who I was talking about." she said. "And the rest were like `Oh yeah, you mean the innkeeper', they'd say, and I'd be like no! Blonde! Big sword! Likes to play cards!"

Tifa frowned.

"So all I got a was bunch of maybes and could haves, and no-one can definitely say they've seen him today." Aerith sighed.

"The innkeeper..." Tifa said.

"Yeah," Aerith replied. "They match. They both got those SOLDIER eyes. Didn't you just talk to the guy?"

"Uh, no actually. He... Wasn't there. Broden. They said he was out today, and his office was empty."

Aerith's eyebrows disappeared into her long bangs. She looked just like how Tifa had felt when she had been told.

"I'm surprised," Aerith replied. "He seemed so... Ill, last time we were here. Not like he'd be up for some daytripping."

Tifa shrugged, still thinking about Cloud's eyes. The ache in her chest was suddenly worse than ever, and she felt an overpowering urge to stand up, to run after him, to do something other than just sitting and waiting. At that moment however, Barret and Red approached, walking quickly out of the crowd beside each other.

"Hey hey hey!" Aerith called. "Any luck?"

Barret looked sombre.

"Positive ID. Cloud was here this mornin' for sure. Spotted in the shops down the alleyway by a bunch of people. They say he was buying chocobo tack, and supplies and stuff."

"And I heard from the town guards that Cloud entered by the east gate, same as we did," Red added. "But they didn't see him leave."

"Does that mean he might still be here?" Tifa asked.

Red shook his head.

"No. Another pair saw him exit through the other gate. They said he went south. Toward the marshlands."

There was a moment of silence, Tifa feeling a spark of hope, and worry.

"Let's go."

It was afternoon and they had been walking for a while, following the winding road south away from Kalm. At first, the landscape had been a sea of lush green, smooth grass and craggy hills and the occasional derelict structure, remnants of civilisation from before the war. But before long the land began to grow wilder, sprouting old trees and thick patches of undergrowth, the air filling with the sounds of birdsong and skittering feet.

"Ooooh look!"

Halfway to the top of a shallow hill, they stopped as Aerith cooed with delight and dashed off the path to where a streak of plain white wildflowers was growing. Tifa frowned at her, anxious to keep moving, but then she noticed Barret sigh and sit down by the side of the road, arms crossed between his knees.

He looked tired.

She sat down next to him and they watched Aerith for a minute. She fussed about the cluster of flowers, collecting some of them and leaving others alone, deciding either at random or by some criterion discernible only to her.

"Have you ever heard of Cellular Degradation?" Tifa asked suddenly.

Barret hummed, a deep rasp in his throat.

"Rings a bell. What is it?"

"It's why Broden is sick," Tifa replied. "Some kind of chronic condition. I keep trying to remember where I heard about it. It's like it's on the tip of my tongue, but I can't quite recall."

"The innkeep guy. Right... Ya know I'm the same. It sounds familiar. But I can't remember why."

Eventually Aerith rejoined them and they started walking again, Red leading them up the gently sloping road. The stop seemed to help. Tifa felt less tense and Barret looked less tired, and Aerith in particular bubbled with excitement, telling them enthusiastically about her plans for the flowers she picked and how unusual it was to see that variety growing wild so far to the north.

Truthfully, Tifa was only half-listening, so much so that she almost walked right into the others, too absorbed in her thoughts to notice they had stopped.

They had reached the crest of the shallow hill.

The four of them stood still for a long minute, looking down at the misty green of the marshland forest, and beyond that, a towering blue mountain peak.

"Here again, huh," Aerith said.

"They say there's a tunnel through that range," Barret raised his good arm, pointing at the peak. "Used to be a mine, then it was a museum. Now it's chock full o' monsters and ain't safe for the normal folk."

"And on the other side is Junon," Tifa said.

"Mmm hmm," Barret grunted. "Shinra territory."

They started walking again, heading downhill, following the road toward the forest.

"Think there's a way through without a bird?" Aerith asked. "Bill seemed to think not."

"Could always go for a swim," Barret chuckled. "Bit of stagnant bog water might be good for ya'."

"Umm, how about, absolutely not?"

"Heh, thought you might say that."

"I'd be more worried about the monsters," Tifa said. "Those warning signs seemed pretty serious."

Speaking of...

They were approaching a familiar fork in the trail, where a cluster of signs had been affixed to a treestump. The newest and largest had an arrow pointing left, the paint faded and peeling, advertising the ferry service across the lake.

Plastered across it was a spray-stencilled phrase in runny black:

"We been here before, right?" Barret asked.

"Yeah, the day Shinra came to Kalm," Aerith replied.

Tifa remembered. They had spent the night hiding out in a structure by the water's edge, a dock for a ferry that no longer ran, abandoned, but recently enough to be dry and safe inside. There had even been a fireplace, and the five of them had stayed up late, sitting in a half-circle in front of the flames and talking, just waiting for the night to pass.

Cloud hadn't said much, but Tifa had convinced herself that the icy silence between them was thawing somewhat. That some kind of apology might even be coming.

Had he been thinking about leaving, even then?

"He went this way."

Her thoughts were interrupted by Red, who approached from the right path, the one leading away from the ferry and into a thicket of trees.

"And that's not all." His voice was low and serious. "The stench of a fiend blows through these woods. We best be on our guard."

Tifa nodded, tightening the straps on her armoured gloves and following him onto the narrow path that led rightward away from the sign. The combat formation felt odd without Cloud leading them, Tifa scanning the trees nervously as they wandered deeper and deeper into the marsh.

Minutes passed in silence, except for the cries of birds and insects, the forest growing dimmer as the trees grew closer together. Eventually even the path itself gave out, though Red seemed unfazed, leading them resolutely through an undulating landscape of twisted roots and misty sodden undergrowth.

"You can still sense him?" Tifa asked. "Cloud, I mean."

Red nodded.

"Yes. The scent is very strong. He passed this way. Recently, or perhaps multiple times. I-"

He suddenly froze, his tail curling in anticipation.

"Wait. Look."

Tifa's heart jumped in her chest. All she could see was trees, and motionless beams of sunlight streaming down through the mist.

"What?" She whispered.

"This way," Red replied, slinking forward with Tifa following as quietly as she could. Ahead there was some kind of break in the trees, and then Tifa gasped as they crested a rise and found the the lake itself right there, an expanse of sickly-brown water wreathed in mist. Between them and the shore was a clearing, a wide open area that almost glowed in the hazy sunlight.

And in the centre was a huge feathered shape, something dark that was folded and twisted and broken.

And motionless.

Heart in her mouth, Tifa followed Red as he scampered down the slope to the muddy shore, finding the ground churned and gouged like a sea frozen in a storm, the mud marked with footprints and clawmarks, and strangely, dozens of shredded pieces of paper and cardboard.

But nothing else.

Tifa circled the clearing twice then stopped beside Barret, who was standing looking down at the dead monster.

"Kid's a force o' nature," he said absently. "Guess he never needed us after all."

They turned toward the edge of the lake, where Red and Aerith stood looking out across the water.

Toward Junon.

The forest was very quiet.

"The trail... ends here." Red said.

They stood in silence for a while. Maybe a minute passed, maybe longer.

And there was only the feeling of Tifa's heart breaking like glass, the edges of her vision blurring with tears.

Cloud had left them. Had left her.

He was gone.

It took a long time for them to walk back, though it seemed to happen all at once to Tifa.

North out of the forest, and then back into the open space of the grasslands, turning away from the high cliffs of Kalm and cresting the hill that lead back towards Bill's ranch.

They were just passing Mildred's house when Tifa paused, looking up at the old windmills on the clifftop, a vivid orange sunset burning in the background. One of the towers was the one Mildred had been tinkering inside of earlier, taller and sturdier than the others, with a platform that wrapped around the upper section.

And she could just barely see that there was someone up there, a male someone, sitting and looking out at the sunset.

"Tifa?" Aerith said.

The others turned and stopped, all looking at her.

"I'm alright," Tifa said. "Actually... I'll see you back at the ranch. There's something I need to see first."

"Tifa?!"

She waved them away, stepping through Mildred's gate and onto a winding path that lead up toward the mills. Memories swirled in her mind, unstructured and discordant. Cloud's bunk, empty in the morning sunlight; The upturned mail cart, the inn-keeper from Kalm also missing; and a fiend found dead deep in the marshlands, surrounded by lost letters half-buried in the mud.

She passed Mildred's house, where someone had tied up a sleeping chocobo, and made her way into the darkened interior of the windmill, finding the platform she had seen earlier now ascended high above her head.

It was an elevator.

Not seeing any means of calling it down, Tifa climbed onto the scaffolding around it and pulled herself up, climbing hand over hand to the top and then stepping out onto a high platform that ringed the top of the tower, high enough that she could see the ocean sparkling in the sunset.

And there was a man, pale and thin and swathed in a blanket, sitting in a chair at the edge of the platform.

"Broden?"

"Oh... Hello, Tifa." He turned his head, looking surprised. "Looking for Mildred? She should be back in a moment."

Unsure quite what to say, Tifa nodded and joined him at the edge of the platform. To the north the ocean glimmered beneath a cloudless orange sky, the colour fading to the deepest blue in the east.

"Mildred's been asking me to come out and watch the sunset for a while," Broden said. "I can see why, now."

He was rake thin and had a some greying streaks to his overlong black hair, but all in all Broden looked much better than Tifa remembered; there was some colour in his face and he sat comfortably upright in the chair, the blanket coiled around his waist.

"I actually have something of yours," Tifa said, fishing the letter out of her pocket. "There was a mail cart that got attacked by a fiend. We found that in the wreckage."

He frowned, reaching out a hand to take the letter, and then stopped.

"Oh. That. Well, it doesn't matter. Maybe you should keep it actually."

"What?"

He smiled.

"Go head and open it."

The envelope felt heavy in her hands, the paper thick and soft. On the back, the address of the Inn, on the front, the red stamp instructing a return to sender.

She took a moment to tear open the corner, finding a small piece of cardboard inside, marked with typewritten characters and inked with a stamp in royal blue.

It was a ticket.

"Mildred and I," Broden said, "once had plans to travel the world together. Even bought a ticket each. But... I'm just not up to it anymore."

He saw Tifa's look of disbelief.

"Some days, days like today, I feel just fine. But who knows in a week, or a month. Eventually it'll catch up to me. The ACD always does."

"Accelerated cellular degradation," Tifa whispered.

"You've heard of it."

And Tifa remembered. Remembered standing on the catwalk outside Mako Reactor 5, their very first meeting with President Shinra himself. The man had been fascinated by Cloud.

"The eyes of one who has bathed in Mako," he had said. "A SOLDIER. Though not, alas, for very long. Accelerated cellular degradation being the most common cause of death by far."

"Every SOLDIER knows the truth," Broden said, echoing the line in Tifa's memory. "We're like bonfires in the night. Men who burn twice as bright, and half as long."

He turned in the seat and fixed Tifa with his gaze. His eyes were an unnatural blue-green, glowing very slightly in the fading light.

Suddenly there was a clatter of machinery and the platform arrived carrying Mildred, who was holding a tray with two teacups on it.

"Oh, hello Tifa."

Tifa couldn't speak, her throat feeling horribly tight. The best she could manage was a nod.

Mildred walked over a placed the tray down beside Broden, glancing at the piece of card in Tifa's hand as she did so.

"Can't seem to get rid of those things can we," she said. "Maybe it's a sign."

Broden smiled, taking the mug of tea from her carefully.

"Tifa was just kindly returning my ticket after Shinra denied my refund as well," he said. "I was thinking maybe she could have it, unless you've changed your mind."

Mildred rolled her eyes and then addressed Tifa directly.

"You know, he tried to make me go on my own. Had to give my ticket away to stop him asking about it."

"The trip was your idea," Broden replied. "You shouldn't have to give up your dream on my account."

Mildred sighed and touched him on the shoulder.

"It was never about that," she said. "Tifa. Take it. I can't think of anyone better to have the other one."

"I... Thank you."

Feeling overwhelmed, Tifa turned to go. And then stopped.

"Who..." she said. "Who did you give the other ticket to?"

Mildred looked surprised.

"I gave it to Cloud. Of course?"

Cloud.

"... I... I have to go."

Tifa choked out the last syllable and turned on the spot, hoping to hide the tears in her eyes. Back down the scaffolding, feeling like every second was water running through her fingers, she almost set off running down the path toward the road.

It was getting late. Could she leave tonight? She would need a bird. Through the swamp, and the mountain, and to the port. What date was it? The boat left on the 1st of January. Yes. As long as she arrived before it left she would catch him what would she say how would he react would he-

Her thoughts were flowing in a mad rush, a torrent of anxieties so distracting that she almost ran straight into a yellow-feathered chocobo being lead out of the lean-to beside Mildred's house.

Tifa froze.

The chocobo had a heavy saddle on its back, an arrangement with two seats one behind the other.

And holding the reins, looking so tall and strong and alive, his blue-green eyes burning twice as brightly as she remembered, was Cloud.

He turned and saw her, and smiled.

Every SOLDIER knows the truth.

"Hey." He said. "Everything alright?"

Wordlessly, Tifa launched herself into his arms.