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Sirius sat cross legged on the floor of the library, his eyebrows drawing together in a thoughtful furrow. “Don’t worry, Regulus.” Sirius murmured past a frown, watching Regulus’ expression falter as he rendered the fact that his older brother was sorted into Gryffindor rather than Slytherin. Regulus felt torn.
“Remember not to get too close to them, Reg, please,” Sirius requested, voice pleading and desperate. Regulus was only 10. He would receive his Hogwarts acceptance letter next year and would be sure to get into Slytherin - but Sirius tried to sway anyway. That's Sirius Black for you. “Don’t get too close to them, they’re never going to understand you like I do.” He repeated urgently, like he didn’t have any time.
Footsteps. Click. Click. Click. Click. The sound of evenly paced heelsteps clack along the darkwood steps. Sirius and Regulus sit up straighter in unison as Walburga creaked open the metal doorknob and the door whooshes open in a thud. She peered crossly between them, stark glare landing on Sirius.
“Not poisoning him with your words, are you?” Walbugra questioned, voice betraying her accusation.
Sirius’s shoulders tense and he clicked his tongue, a venomous look tracing over his mother. He locked his jaw so tightly that the muscles in his face tensed. “No, mother, I was just leaving.” A pitiful glance was thrown at Regulus but he had been looking guilty at his feet ever since Walbugra entered the room.
Sirius stood up and dusted off his knees, strutting pointedly past his mother. Walbugra’s grimace deepened. “Halt.” She ordered strictly. As much as Sirius wished his mothers demanding voice didn’t frighten him, it chilled the base of his spine and caused a shudder to ripple over his skin. He paused in his tracks and ever so slowly spun on his heel, crossing his arms sassily over his chest and quirking an eyebrow.
“Mère.” Sirius greeted dryly, lips spread into a fake smile. Walburgas eyes narrow militantly. Sirius knows when he's on thin ice…but he also loves getting on peoples final nerves. “Qu'est-ce que tu veux, Mère?” Sirius rolled his shoulders and, yes, apparently that was Walburgas final straw.
______
Regulus waited in the library, sat against a bookshelf with his arms wrapped over his legs and his face stuffed into his knees. He felt himself trembling. Sirius’ screams echoed through the hallways. It was a familiar sound, like the sound of waves crashing into a cave.
Was his brother right? Was his family evil like Sirius had made them out to be? Regulus didn’t think so. He loved his mother. His cousins scared him, but Regulus was a good liar - making excuses to be alone was where he excelled.
Regulus tried his best to zone out, drown himself in thoughts so he could be distracted from Sirius’ fierce wails.
—---
Sirius stares. He is frozen, terrified, his ‘fight or flight’ reflex blurred over into freeze, freeze, freeze.
He believes the pain will kill him. But it doesn’t. He has to live and feel and hurt and cry. It's not fair. He didn’t do anything - he felt like a shattered bottle on a shore. Pieces of him everywhere. Escaping away in the tide. He couldn’t go after himself because he was numb, grey, hurt, alone. He missed his brother… He missed his brother James. James is the thought that comforts him as he feels the sunset’s rays hit the back of his neck through a small peak past the curtains on the farside of the hallway.
___
It’s two years later. Regulus has been comfortable and praised by his family in Slytherin while Sirius wasn’t merely acknowledged. A disappointment.
Regulus missed his brother. Sirius had become distant and untrusting, like a caged dog scaling its enclosure, waiting to be let free. Even knowing this, it stung like a dagger when Sirius enlightened him on the idea of living at the Potters. Regulus had scoffed and cockily snickered, the Black Family Special, but Sirius was, well, serious. It had taken him off guard for a moment and Regulus just stared judgmentally yet longingly. He wanted to be with Sirius no matter what, but…
“Will you come with me, Regulus?” Sirius waits.
Regulus says nothing.
“If you don’t come, you won’t hear from me. I won’t write.” Sirius added, waiting more.
Regulus still says nothing.
Sirius stomped crossly, lashing out. “Fine. James is a better brother than you’ll ever be.”
Regulus’ heart beats faster and he feels the blood rushing in his ears. His eyes pricked with warmth but he kept a stone face. “Fine.” He countered, standing tall, lip curling down into a venomous snarl. Sirius poked him in the chest and grimaced, pivoting around and stalking out with his suitcase.
So, where did you go? I should know, but it's cold and I don't wanna be lonely so tell me you'll come home. Even if it's just a lie.