Work Text:
Just a normal day in homestuck world, a warm sunny winter morning, on days like this, kids like you should be playing nintendo games or toy cars, i dont know.
John Egbert, the hair of breath and the most sympathic kid in neighborhood was reading a magazine under the shadow of a tree, when his friend, Vriska Serket, the meanest meanie of town, greeted him throwing an apple heart at him and screaming.
-Heeeeeeeey Egbarf. What are you doing?-
-Just reading a comic book, dad got it for me from an asian shop-
-Is one of that twisted japanese porn comics? Egbert! you are such a pervert!- she said
John blushed and closed the book, and replied. -No Vriska, its just a silly gag manga-
-Let me see- said snatching the little book out of his hands.
-Doctor... Slump? What the fuck does that mean?-
-It´s just about a goofy scientist having adventures with his inventions-
-Pfff, boooring, where is the FUN on that shit?-
She opened the book with her gray sticky fingers smearing the pages with the sugar that adhered from the gummies she had earlier. -Let´s see...-
While Egbert observed horrified how the clumsy hands of Vriska handled the pages, the girl kept doing expressions of boredom.
She just dropped the book and said: -Egbert, this is cringe, you should have got something good like... Dragon ball Z, or Go Go Ackman, this is just stupid shit, even i could beat the shit out of that girl Arale in a fight.
The two began to discuss about powerful comic and manga characters, 20 minutes later, the little Jade Harley came to say hello.
-Hi Johnny, hi Missy Vrissy- said happily.
-Hi Jade!- answered John.
-I told you to not call me like that...-
-Whatever, what are you doing?- Said wagging her tail excited.
-Oh, we were just talking about how ME, a literal GODESS, can defeat a shitty robot from an old comedy manga from 40 years ago- boasted Serket
-Arale can manipulate reality as she pleases, its a cartoon!- said John.
-Well...- added Jade -I dont think even I could defeat Arale-
-Why are you siding with him?! Dont tell you like each other!- screamed the troll.
-Ew, no! I mean, she is a cartoon, we all know trying to beat a cartoon is impossible.-
-Nah, you are just stupid-
-You think so? Well, watch this.-
Jade changed into her witch clothes and like if it were magic, entered into the book, after a couple of seconds, she came accompanied of a little girl with purple hair and big round glasses and a small green haired baby with wings and antennas.
-Ncha, I am Arale Norimaki!- greeted the girl enthusiastic
-Kupipo!- said the baby.
-Pathetic...- mumbled Vriska
Jade pointed to the spider girl and said: -Hey Arale, this is my alien friend Vriska, she wants to play with you.-
-How exciting! I have never seen that kind of alien before, ¿Is she strong?-
-She is very powerful, and wants to play to see how strong are you as well-
-Okie then-
Vriska sighed and pretended to ignore the girls, all she heard was the sound of something rapidly approaching, and then... nothing.
She got sent flying by a simple slap, when she recovered control descended slowly and yelled: -I was not ready, that didnt count!-
"Ill use my mind control on this girl and make her kick her own ass" she tought
So she breathed deeply, concentrated and everyone went silent, quickly targeted her objective and...
*prrt*
-HAHA. YOU FARTED- laughed the little girl.
-What an embarrasement- said Jade
-Farts are a secondary effect of a failed mind control... this has never happened to me, IM SUPPOSED TO BE PERFECT!- screamed Vriska freaking out.
Egbert just watched at the whole scene amused, Vriska yelling at a little girl, stomping a foot on the ground.
-WHO ARE YOU!- shouted at the girl
-I´ve told you i am Arale!-
Full of fury the troll punched Norimaki, a huge expansive wave almost sends the others flying, the tree leaves fell off, poor Egbert, there was no longer a shadow to read under it.
Vriska was expecting a bunch of giblets and limbs to rain while laughing manically as the edgy bitch she is, but instead there was Arale, very happy.
-Kakkui!- she said -You are REALLY strong, im excited!-
At this point the troll was just pouting very frustrated. -WHY ARE YOU NOT DEAD, WHY ISNT THERE BLOOD-
-Blood? That´s gross! Don´t you know i am a Robot?- replied
-THEN WHY THE FUCK ARENT YOU TORN INTO PIECES-
-Hoyoyo-
Vriska kept punching her till her knuckles started to bleed.
-You are pouring juice from your hands! Are you a magician?-
-THAT IS MY BLOOOOOOD-
-Hoyo-
Vriska was indeed taking the fight very seriously, Jade made the little girl a signal to stop all of this.
-You are hurting yourself, is not fun to play when people gets hurt!- said Harley -Arale! she will keep playing till she gets tired, do something!-
-Okie!-
She began to rapidly move her feet on the same place, the little winged baby was tired of waiting and moved to over Jade´s head and fell asleep on her long hair. John and Jade ordered a pizza and bought some root beer to watch Arale building up speed on the while vriska took a comically oversized knight lance to pierce her body, started using explosives, magic, any kind of fighting stance, martial arts, hidden techniques, manthras, hamon, all failed miserably.
After exactly twelve hours she let herself go and hit vriska with a flying kick, a huge cloud of dust formed and lasted minutes to disappear, when it disappeared completely Vriska simply wasn´t there.
Jade smiled and said -That was awesome! What did you do!-
-The scientist told me that if i built up speed 12 hours and then hit someone with enough force, i would send them to a Parallel universe!- explained Arale and stuck out her tounge
-AMAZING!- said John doing small hops of excitement.
-So... where is she now?- asked the dog girl
-I dont know!- replied Norimaki.
-Who cares...- said Egbert -Let´s go home-
Arale clapped and said: -It was fun! She was really strong, but took it too seriously and hurt her hands... hope she gets better.-
-She has learned her lesson, nobody can beat a gag manga character- affirmed the boy
-Well, it´s time to go back to Penguin Village, Doctor would worry if i dont come back for dinner! Let´s go Gatchan! BYECHA-
-Kupipo!- said the angel baby who was eating the pizza boxes.
Both jumped into the book and nothig happened. -Hoyoyo- exclaimed arale
-Oh, right-
And Jade used her power to put them back on the book.
-Great, now my book has shoe marks- complained John
-Made by the main character herself- added Jade
-That´s true, could be a fortune on Ebay... Oh, by the way, what about Vriska?-
-I´ll come for her later, let her have some fun meanwhile-
And they left to Egbert´s home and grilled some mini sausages.