Archive of Our Own ^beta

Suddenly the wind rises, like someone's laugh; 

a fortuitous moment has come

Feasts are prepared in homes, yet meat and 

bones fed to vile spirits are never enough

I

At the break of the dawn, while the sun started to illuminate the meadow to the houses of the towns all over the land from village to village. To the estates of the richest merchants all over the small inn of the common people, the wind floating around like the laughter of a little child in the middle of the spring. What a wonderful day for a blessed child to be born.

“How long does it take for the midwife to arrive?!” a young man on servant attires was giving orders to everyone that came, worrisome written all over his face.

“Quickly take young master Shi Wudu to his room and then go find our lord” the same young man shouted to a young girl servant while he was refilling another big bowl of hot water hoping it will be helpful to peace the screams of their lady about giving birth to her second kid. The moment the young lady heard the command of the young man she left everything she was doing quickly to go grab a little kid around five years old wearing elegant clothes; that was watching all the chaos unfazed and take her young master to his room.

Just in time when everyone looked about to lose their minds two young female’s servants came dragging an old woman that didn’t look agitated at all.

“I told you two girls to stop running like crazy, the baby has arrived to the time it was predicted” the midwife growled while entering the big mansion and watching all the servants acting like the end of the world had arrived unexpectedly. “Take me to Madam Shi” and dragging servants to serve as assistants while locked herself in the room with the lady of the mansion that was screaming in pain about to give birth.

                                                                                                                                     ……....

 “Come on… you can do it just a little more” encouraged a group of four women while the fifth one - the older one of the whole group- was laying over a blanket, legs open, sweat all over her forehead and a pained expression breaking her face. 

On a small stall in Fu Gu village all the folks standing outside the little home of a merchant couple, expecting whatever the outcome for what just happened would be. A marriage of humble merchants, all the villages around the area know we're just about to have their first child. The old man, at his 50 years old, walks around outside the door of the house having trouble controlling his nervousness or the urge to interrupt whatever his wife was screaming inside the house and the pressure of having the whole town outside his house as they don’t have anything more productive to do. The wife with the burden and pain of delivering her first child at 45 years old. After a long and agonizing scream that made everyone present outside fall on the edge where they were standing, followed by an even more agonizing silence. The poor old man looked so desperate, considering ignoring all of the woman attending the delivering indications, the old man was about to enter to the house and see for himself what was going on, yet after he could reach the door to open it himself, the door was wide open by one of the attendances, her eyes sparkling in joy when she looks the old merchant straight to the eyes and told him:

“The child is here, they are both fine. Is a boy”

                                                                                                                                          ……...

A delicate, frail little baby is held by their mother, while the father is sitting next to them looking at both of them full of pride and the old midwife is packing all her belongings.

“I recommend calling a soothsayer, the kid seems healthy, with eyes shining in fortune and lucky future” were the last words of the old midwife after sipping her bag and going directly to the door.

The moment the woman leave the scene to show outside a bunch of servant girls silently pleading a six years old Shi Wudu to please come back with them and not disturb his mother while the little boy complete ignoring with fierce determination the reach his goal to be the first to meet his new little sibling was display to the eyes of everyone in the principal room. The moment the midwife opens the door to find in front of everyone a Shi Wudu looking fiercely to the woman that has received his new little sibling, all house servants stood behind their young master.  

“A-Du come here, come meet your brother “says the mistress, eyes shining in happiness. The little boy, completely ignoring the midwife, who was being escorted to the door by the servants, leaving the family of four alone.

“He is so small,” says the six year old boy now up at the side of his mother's bed, pinching the red cheeks of the little thing in his mother's arm. “I thought they would be a girl,” said after analyzing the baby up close.

“that’s what I felt like and what the soothsayer says, but you never know the surprise life gives you” is the only response his mother gives.

“Remember you are the older one, he will count on you on everything and even when we are no longer here you two will always have one another” were the words of his father while looking him in the eyes. “therefore, you can choose his name”

After thinking it over for a few seconds the boy whisper “QingXuan”

The woman faces bloom with a smile adoring the little baby in her hands “Shi QingXuan, I am sure life will be an endless banquet of heavens blessings for you”

                                                                                                                                         ……....

The moment the old merchant enters the house his wife is already sitting on the bed tent across the floor, caressing the baby face with a smile.

“I already know his name… He Xuan, my little miracle, a blessing from the heavens “says the woman without drifting away from her baby. The husband just can't do anything more than smile and sit next to them, excited to meet his new baby.

                                                                                                                                      .....….

The wheel of fate had been seated -two people attached to it- one’s head pointing to the heavens, the other’s pointing to the ground.

II

“My baby is going to die… please goods save him” a woman wearing fine robes, her knees on the ground, sobbing… clutching her hands on the sheets while the baby rolled up in them was crying, burning up with a deadly fever.

“We should have listened. Now this monster will never leave us…” whimpering while holding the baby. Reminiscent of the events that brought this upon them, how quickly the shiny gold gifts and happiness for the baby became ashes and despair for that tiny creature's future.

“don’t show the kid to the world yet, a reverend of empty words is searching for them” Were the words of the soothsayer. They didn’t listen; a great banquet was held.

“A deadly fever will strike him, he will suffer through the night” The voice sounded through the hall, happiness exinitic on an instant, disappearing in front of everyone's eyes, and the baby collapsed as he was being held by his mother, crying in intense pain.

“We are sorry for not listening, please tell us how to fix this” the desperate parents clutch on the priest's clothes. The man had warned them about the chasing monster, they didn’t listen, now their child was paying the consequences.

“The reverend now has chosen a target and will not stop, the only way now is to hide. The creature will follow a boy whose name contains Xuan. Make your servants expand the word that the newborn is actually a girl and you raise the kid as such, that will dissuade the creature at least for a while” was the final verdict of the Taoist the parents have invited over. 

                                                                                                                                         ....……

“I see a bright future for him… He is destined to be loved by the heavens” the wife of the old merchant whispered in the middle of the night. Picking the red checks of her little He Xuan- placidly sleeping on a rug floor with his parents. Her husband gets up and looks at them when listened to her rambling, and the tucks of his lips go up slightly.

 Maybe it was common for all mothers to think too highly of their children from the first moment, yet the conviction in her voice was so high he didn’t dare to say anything, just look fondly to his wife and the kid she had so high hopes for.

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The next day two little newborns were presented to the world.

one on a gigantic mansion up in the highest mountain. The other in the little business of a salesman in the lost town of Fu Gu. 

One wearing female clothes. The other male ones.

One with the fear of a curse for the rest of their life. The other with heaven's eyes watching over: a bright future awaiting.

III

A bunch of little girls were laughing, running around, braiding each other’s hair, going to the adults table asking for more candies repeatedly. Now it was Shi QuanXuan's turn to go asking the adults for more sweets for all the girls.

“Gege… Gege… please pass me some candies” the little girl pleaded to her older brother, who despite still being a kid himself was completely disinterested in socializing with the other boys, so he always stays with the adults. The older boy shot a scoring cold look to his little sister, pushing the bowls of candy further away for the little stretching hands of the toddler girl. 

“A-Du… Don't be so cruel with you little sister” Shi Wudu furrowed even deeper at the soft reprimand of his mother as she extended the bowl full of candy to her youngest child that excitedly ran to the other girls. As the mother just continues to chat with the other high born ladies around.  

Shi Wudu could not stand this nonchalant attitude, QingXuan was still too young to understand, but out of his parents it was unacceptable. Acting as all the problems have been solved, as it was not a dangerous monster in the hunt for QingXuan. Pretending QingXuan was just a temporary solution for a bigger problem that their parents just did not want to think about, they only care for showing a perfect family and for his mother now to have a little kid that she could dress up as a doll. 

Shi Wudu was not like that, Shi Wudu do not do things in halves or like easy. He was not going to hide like a scared hare running from a bigger predator, and neither was any sibling of his. 

He would save QingXuan from this Venerable of Empty Words and would do anything to do it, heavenly itself could come and try to stop him Shi Wudu would grab gods by the neck in a deadly grip and shove them aside if they try to come on his way.   

                                                                                                                                          ……..

In the dark of the basement, curling himself as small as possible hoping to not to be found, as a little animal merging in their environment to escape a predator lurking in the shadows. Little He Xuan was doing his best to control himself and avoid making any sound, when the cracking noise of the door alerting him that he had been found, nowhere to run from defeat.

“Found you! I won again” The loud and happy voice of a little girl, holding a gas lamp appears in front of the boy blocking his escape. “That makes it 5 against 0” sentenced the girl while hovering to the stairs with a pleased smile. 

“Stop bragging, Miao ´er” says the boy with fake annoyance, following his friend to the basement stairs. “No one likes girls that show off “sticking his tongue out in a childish way, still bitter after losing so many times.

“Expect you! Because you like it so much, don’t you?” as the girl held mightily, clinging into the boy's arm making him blush deeply. It was such an endearing picture for her young hearth that the girl couldn’t contain the impulse to give him a slight peak on the cheek.

“A-Xuan! Miao´er! Stop playing around and come here! I have some dessert for you!” came the voice of an older woman from above them.

“Race to your mom, the winner takes the best desserts! Now!” said the little girl, letting go of the boy's arm and starting running to the top of the house.

The boy was still stuck in place, cheeks red, processing the little kiss on his cheek, when the girl was already halfway to the kitchen he still had not even properly heard what she said before running off to be defeated one more time today. 

“Wait! Miao´er ! That’s not fair! You are cheating!” complained the boy while running as fast as he could, yet it was impossible now to catch up to her. When he arrived at the kitchen breathing heavenly; Miao´ er was already sitting on the table happily chewing on all the sweets she had kept for herself.

“I can´t wait to grow up and marry A-Xuan so I could eat like this all the time” chant the girl happily, while He Xuan stumble with to his feet and almost fell over from exhaustion as his mother could only chuckle to what she considered a quiet adorable childhood mutual infatuation. 

“Stop saying nonsense and give me some of those!” respond to the boy trying to take some candy away from his friends’ claws.

“I will give you some! But sit down and I will feed you to them!” Respond to the girl moving teasingly pastries to He Xuan's face.

“What are you talking about? I dare you to start a new race for those pastries!” said the overconfident boy.

“mmm… I don’t think so” and the girl came back to her pastries with a smug smile plastered on her face as she side-eyed the boy that was getting even more red and frustrated. 

At the end little He Xuan finally sits down in front of the girl and lets her feed him the pastries directly onto his mouth, warm feelings blooming brightly inside both youths.

IV

“Gege! Come play with me! Please!” whines the little kid while tugging their brothers´ sleeves.

“Not now, QingXuan! I am reading! Go play with your girlfriends!” said the older boy, waving his hand dismissively.

“They went to swim at the lake! And I am not allowed to go!” as it was so obvious where the problem lay. The younger one sadly sitting on the floor and moping about the cry. That comment actually caught the older boy's attention, despite always going around like one of the little girls, QuanXuan had a lot of restrictions to protect the truth about their birth. The younger sibling was still just old enough to fully understand the reason behind all their restrictions and it still heights heavy on them not to be like the rest of the children.

QingXuan was already aware that they were not like the rest of girls, that actually they had been born a boy but no one could find out about it as a Venerable of Empty Words was still looking for the boy named Xua. That meant that absolutely never under any circumstances go to the lake with their girl friends. 

“Who needs those girls anyway! Let's go to the lake, I am going to show you the lake where I practice cultivation. No one is going to bother us there” The older boy strongly closed his books and stood up full of grace and dignity completely unlike his young age. 

The younger one almost falls over in excitement as they grab the older boy's hand pushing them outside the house to enjoy the light while they still can. The place where Shi Wudu practiced cultivation was deep enough into the mountain that no one was there to get close. 

The little creek surrendered by peonies and water lilies was a perfect place for spiritual peace and meditation, granted that you did not bring an over excitable child like QingXuan that do not lost a second before freeing themself from their elegant robes and jumping into the water scaring all the koi fish away. 

“QingXuan! be careful. The water seems calm but it can’t trick you and drag you over” Warned the older sibling watching closer. He should know the dangers of trusting too much in untamed waters, no matter how harmless they seem. Even the riches of the merchants all around the land fall into their knees at the strength of the sea, the one that in one whim could take all the riches away from them and into the bottom of their domain. 

The Shi family were merchants, extremely successful at that it must be said, yet that came with the idea of untouchability as all their money and prestige could never be taken away and prompt them to act the part. Shi Wudu knew better, always clever and way savvier for his age. That's why his cultivation was so focused in understanding all the shapes and transformation of water, a serene yet deadly force depending on the situation. Shi Wudu was born with all the riches the land could offer and that was not enough for his ambitious hearth. Shi Wudu was born in a golden crib still craving for more. 

An harmonious and giddy laughter dragged by the soft wind took him out his thoughts. QingXuan was breaking the flow of the water throwing above them to be carried on by the wind, not caring about the direction of the creek. Carefree, going where it pleased, almost like a perfectly choreographed dance. Shi Wudu could not stop the little smile that formed on his lips as he sat down to resume his lecture as QingXuan kept playing in the water moving like the wind. All things in perfect harmony.      

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“¡Gege! Gege! let's play!” A little girl was tugging and pulling the sleeves of He Xuan who was trying to pack a package while attending a long line of customers waiting on the family stand. 

“Not now!” Said the boy a little too high causing his little girl to start mopping and whining even harder. “¡Hey! stop it! or I will get angry” continue the boy while still attending to the clients about to lose his mind, when an older woman came closer with an amicable smile and looked fondly to her kids. 

“A-Xuan go take your sister to the town and spend some time together” said the woman delicately moving the boy away from the counter. 

“But mother! I thought that you were not feeling good…” said the older boy looking slightly worried, his mother was a older woman that had two children at an very advanced age -most of the town was amazed when HeXuan was born and they thought the family secretly held some temple for a goodness of maternity when despite all the odds five years later He Xuan little sister was born- yet after having two kids at an advanced age her health have not been the best since.  

“ I feel so much better, boy. Thank you for helping me and your father all the time” respond his mother while passing him some coins so the siblings could have some fun. He Xuan was still not fully convinced but before he could argue even further small hands were dragging him to the paper fan stand as his little sister was already asking for money to buy one each of them. 

Following a little girl around has proven to be so much tiring than attending the family business all day. As He Xuan was dragged around and then again buying candies, all varieties of toys and competing no less than seven times into a clearly rigged shooting game until he finally won the colorful jellyfish in a bag his little sister threw a fit about wanting. 

Now as night was coming closer and with only a few coins left, He Xuan was buying them some crepes while the younger sibling was hopping around trying to catch a frog. When the unmistakable sound of a body hitting the water and the scream of a woman made He Xuan turn around, his little sister was nowhere to be found. 

His little sister, who has never been taught how to swim. 

In a second He Xuan was jumping onto the lake and dragging a little body to the surface as it held onto him for dear life. Thank the gods that Miao’er have insisted on teaching him how to swim. The moment both siblings were out of the water a group of town folks surrounded them as He Xuan still refused to let go of the little body trembling on cold and fear. Thankful to have decided to come with her today at the end and scared one day brutish waters would tear them apart and he couldn't save her.  

V

Servants were leaving the house as fast as they could: there was nothing left for them there anyway, there was nothing left for anyone in that house. With old relatives that they haven't seen since his little sibling was born, Shi Wudu was moving around all the people in the house until he found his two uncles fighting over some ancient family heirloom. 

“Oh boy!” the voice of his eldest uncle was trying to hide the annoyance. A week ago the lord and the lady of the house disappeared after a slow decline of the generations long standing fortune that the father didn't want to accept was coming to an end. The house was invaded by all kinds of relatives wanting to scratch what little fortune was left, despite the circumstances the older son - now fifteen years old and way more adept for the job than his father - had lived full of mortal acquisitions and wanted nothing more. The son was not interested in mortal riches or lands; his eyes were set into heaven from the moment he was born. 

The parents never fully understand the eldest son and the youngest was bearing a curse on the brick to find them again, destroying the tentative peace. When one morning it became clear that the money was not going to suntain for much longer, the cattle and other businesses were not going to reap future seeds and the servants came to leave forever. The parents took all the money they had left that fit into their bags. Leaving the two kids behind and a house full of hellions and some jewelers that could still be precious.   

When the distant family members came to take whatever was still of value inside the terrains of the state itself, the only thing between their ambitions was the young lord and the little sister. As they were all trying to make into their good graces and be given some to value to then dispose of the kids. Shi Wudu was not interested in dealing with them now or ever. 

“I have contacted a master to work on my cultivation and I have been accepted. QingXuan is coming with me. Do with the state and what it is still inside as you please” said the young boy as he turned his back not wanting to follow the conversation. He had nothing to say to these people, they could have the state and the old vases inside. The next time anyone in this house sees him away he would be a god anyway.  

Ignoring everything around him. He was only interested in one person coming with him. In their room a little kid was hiding between the sheets trying to ignore what was going around outside. With a little nod on the shoulder, a little head with the hair style in the way that young girls were doing nowadays and red eyes that did not hide the fact that they have been crying since their parents left. 

“QingXuan, we have talked about this. It's all settled, there is nothing left here for us, it's time to go” with his final words and a little more sobs as the younger one gives their hand to the older brother picking up their small bag with what little they could still call theirs. 

As the two siblings stand up and leave the chaos behind. A step closer to godhood approaches as they went down the hill where the old Shi state resided. 

                                                                                                                                       ....…..

 It's already been three days since He Xuan went to Miao’er family stall just to pace around in the backyard while the family was attending clients serving food all day. Eventually the girl would come up and offer him something to eat or if he wanted to leave with her to do something else. He Xuan rejected all attempts; he only wanted to circle around that same spot and not be home. He couldn't be home to keep going nuts with the realization that his position in the regional exam for young scholars was still in doubt. 

You can always retake it next year.

There's still time, do not despair yet.

You can always keep working for your family, being a scholar is not the only thing worth doing. 

He was tired of hearing these words over and over again from his parents and neighbors. they couldn't get it, his goals and ambitions, the future he wanted for himself. He loved his parents and little sister, he felt love for the people and this village that saw him grow and he loved Miao’er as it was constantly repeated by the voice in the back of his mind that he hadn't thought much about, he would think about what it actually when he didn’t have to repeatedly study. 

The life in the big capital sounds nice, rising from his humble beginnings to turn into an officer all thanks to his intelligence. He could give his family the life they deserve away from work and difficulties. He could bend in his knees for Miao’er and assure her that he she will have everything she needed for the rest of their lives. 

And after that? Would that be the end of his ambitions? Was that what he actually wanted? He told himself that yes that was the reason he was doing everything, the reason why he studied so hard. It was so much more than most people born in his circumstances could ever dream of, everyone in the village knows him as a dreamer of impossibilities. If he was so determined to prove them wrong then why does he feel so attracted to the statues of civil gods? Yet never inclined to lower his head and beg. Young scholar He Xaun felt the need to look civil gods statues  directly in the eyes and stand close to them. So close actually,  almost to their side as equals….  

“Xuan-gege! Xuan-gege!” A little girl came running across the street shoving people aside to get to her brother, yelling so hard that she brought the attention of everyone close trying to eat at the Miao’er family inn. 

“ Hey! shut up, girl. Some people are trying to eat here”

“Don't shove people, child. Where are your parents?”   

But the girl ignored them all completely. Just trying to reach her brother and catching up her breath after running from their house. “ An emissry came… from the big city… Xuan- Gege… you were the first place of the scholar examination in the whole region…” said the girl as she extended an already open roll of parchment to He Xuan. At that moment the world stopped.   

He Xuan felt Miao’er arms around him and her excited voice asking him a million questions, he could vaguely hear the cheering of the people around congratulating him and the occasional pat in his back. They were all background muffled voices, like being submerged under water, the touch felt absent like what he assumed would feel like touching a ghost. The only actual concrete feeling was the paper between his hands, the only thing  grounding him to the mortal world, preventing him from reaching the sky before time.   

first place.

In the whole region. 

This is the way he can start to make a name for himself. 

A few more years.

Just keep studying.

And he could go and take the imperial exam. 

This was the first moment for the rest of his life. A life full of blessings and highlighted by the heavens goodwill. 

VI

The last  three months have probably been the hardest of Shi QingXuan’s life. After a lifetime of being the little mistress of a big state, full of servants and a village full of other girls to play around wherever QingXuan pleased. Everything was lost on their brother's certainty that he would ascend to the heavens. 

Now Gege was training his cultivation all day with his teacher, with the extreme concentration and cold headed Shi Wudu takes everything he puts his heart and mind to. QingXuan was always proud of their intelligent and capable brother that promised to always protect them, even if he was hard on them now that they were getting older, it was for their own good. These constant months of solitude were feeling heavy on the mind of a child that has always been in company and adoration of others. 

It's only a few months while I keep training and straightening my cultivation. Soon I am going to ascend to heavens and life will be ten times better than it ever was before.   

Were the confident words Shi Wudu repeated over and over to QingXuan, so confident bordering on otherworldly arrogance in himself and own potential. QingXuan did not doubt it would happen soon.    

But the sun was going down and Gege hadn't come to their new home yet. That's why searching for something to do and trying to help their brother by taking him some warm food while he was still with his hard training at the top of the mountain seems like a good idea. Or that was what seemed a few hours before when QuanXuan left the house, even when the people in the village were warming a little girl to go up the mountain when the sun was already down QingXuan ignored the warnings and followed the path Gege had shown them before. Or that's what they thought. 

Now lost in the middle of the mountain, QingXuan was regretting every single choice that left them here. Their hands trembled while making the best effort to not let go of the dinner for their brother, their eyes began to sting like needles being poked at them and their foot hurt, doing their best to not throw themself over the ground and cry until their brother found their stupid little sibling.    

“Anyone! Anyone! Please help!” A voice lost in the dark took QingXuan out of his frightened state. Someone deeper into the mountain was in trouble and the desperate voice sounded like an old man. QingXuan's first impulse was to stand up and whip their tears away as they followed the voice. In fact an old man was thrown to the ground, food and other goods spread all over the grass and his legs seem to be broken, crushed under what seems to be a fallen trunk. 

“Oh young mistress! Please!” cried the old man looking up to QingXuan as if they were their savior. QingXuan, without thinking, drops to their knees and starts pushing the heavy trunk with all their strength, pulling the old man to get him on his feet. 

“Oh Thank you! young mistress” the man kept being grateful and holding QingXuan arm pressing his bonny fingers harder and harder, griping QingXuan skinny arm in a confining way. The old man's nails were pressing QingXuan skin deeper and deeper. “Young mistress.. you are so strong… and it is so dark. Are you really a girl?” the nails were forcing blood out of QingXuan arm now and the old man contorted all his body getting longer and less human like pressing closer, so much closer to QingXuan face, like deeply analyzing all their factions looking for something , something long lost and finally found as a sadistic smile disfiguring the old man face.  

“What's your name, child?” The grip on his arm was getting stronger and more blood was being drawn out of it. “Tell me! QingXuan! ohh boy I have found you!” The air got cold and QingXuan hearth was about to leave their body by their throat . QingXuan as they were about to puke their guts out in fear, the world turn cold, their legs trembling, unable to move but they needed to move or this old man, this creature was going to drag them into the deep of the mountain, deep into a cave, and they will never be able to get out. imprisoned until this creature took everything from them, all their will to live drought out. This creature has been looking for them all this time and now the nightmare clutches were around their neck like a blade about to cut their skin and gleefully watched them bleed.

QingXuan legs finally responded, this was the chance. In a rush of adrenaline in a desperate attempt to save their own life they finally run down the mountain, need to come home quickly needing the safety of their cottage, that they would never complain again if they could come back to it,  that QuingXuan was begging to all the gods they could remember to let them get out of this moment. 

You would fall down this mountain and break your ankle. You will bleed and wither in pain. 

The dark, strong, ghostly voice tinged in Qingxuan’s head over and over again like an echo reverting in every corner of the mountain. Impossible to escape from it, impossible to escape from this prediction. Impossible to escape from this creature. Forever.  

QingXuan legs failed again. The fear overcame them, the certainty that those words were becoming true and QingXuan fell down. Their head hitted the ground as they rolled while falling, their arms and legs getting full of scrapes and little cuts until they felt their back hit against the trunk of a tree. A cry of pain escaping their lips. And the most painful sting on their ankle like a thousand bees puncturing their skin and warm blood was emerging from their forehead, leaking all over their child face. 

You will get lost and never leave this mount–

The monster following them did not get to finish the next sentence as a flying sword cut the wind and almost struck the creature tormenting QingXuan, which vanished in the night deep back into QingXuan nightmares, at least for a little while until the monster decided to tormented them again. 

“QingXuan!” A deep voice, anger and worry mixed in his expression. At that moment Shi Wudu was running faster than QingXuan ever saw him, coming towards them and bringing them to his arms. His brother was trembling as he held them tighter, in the warmest act QingXuan had ever received from the elder boy. 

In the depths of the mountain, their head bleeding and ankle beaming with pain. QingXuan saw their strong, impassable, stoic brother trembling in fear and impotence as QingXuan was trying their hardest to ignore all the strong physical pain they could felt at the moment knowing that anything that  monster could do to them in the future could be immeasurably more painful, and so for the rest of their life. There was only one way out now, Qingxuan knew it, Shi Wudu knew it. Praying to the gods to save their family could never be enough. 

QingXuan needed to ascend to the heavens or die. 

                                                                                                                                                …….

Please accept this offer and hope to provide blessings that allow me to rip the products of my efforts in the next State-level Exams. Allow me to get to the Capital examination next to bring Miao’er and my family to a better life. 

It was unexpected for He Xuan to feel the need to came and pray to the Civils Gods, yet in the past few days the tug driving him towards the Gods temple have been growing stronger, it didn't allow him to think and even study, defeating the purpose all together if this was somehow punishment for ignoring them by making him unable to concentrate and study. 

It was not that He Xuan did not feel admiration for the Civil Gods. As a scholar he searched for the maximum of knowledge, intelligence and proclivities in such arts that only the gods themself can represent. Yet in the temples, always full of eager scholars and faces full of illusion, He Xuan did not think he could talk to the Gods the same way the others do. Bending his knees, lowering his head in front of the statue, in front of so many people that wasn't his place in this circle. He wasn't destined to be at this side of the temple and time would prove it right was the unconscious thought that sometimes traveled to his head the few times he agreed to go to the temple with other scholars or his family. It made him want to slap himself, it was so arrogant, it could be his ruin. Yet nothing compelled him to get down on his knees, he must look at the statue directly into the eyes, proving they were the same.    

His arrogance must have finally come to bite him as the need to go to a temple grew deeper inside him. Unable to keep tolerating this feeling to get together a small offer with the food he could find in the house and search for a temple in the middle of the night. The State level scholar exam was drawing close -just a few days left- so the Jing Wen Temples were sure to be packed with people from all around the zone even at this late hour. He decided it was worth it to walk a little longer to search for a temple that was sure to be empty.  

There was a small temple for mostly forgotten minor Civil God in the middle of the forest close to the village, it lacked remodelations and the roof had batches where water would filter in case it rains. It was one of the few temples in the whole region that adored a female Civil Goddess, a fact that weirdly confort He Xuan even if he was not even sure of the Goddess name. With the completely empty space in the middle of the night, the environment was almost nice as he placed his little offering on the pedestal.

A little drop of water falls into his head as he continues looking straight into the Goddess statue's eyes. The temple due to lack of repairs during years the structure didn't have a roof and it was extremely fragile, It was He Xuan sign it was time to leave. 

As the boy stood up the floor was already turning into mud due to water falling into it. In an attempt to save his robes, He Xuan was doing all possible to avoid the pools of water forming all around him. When a blinding light came into He Xuan vision dazing him for a few seconds when the boy recovered his vision what little roof was left was falling about to completely crush him— 

It is a miracle! How lucky the boy can be?

The gods are looking for him… 

All the other scholar boys of the city were in that awful accident. 

Oh no dear! No one is dead but some of the boys are hurt.

But this boy is completely intact! What a miracle! truely! 

The position of the statue… Do you know what they say about this kind of stuff? 

Gods! What are you insinuating? 

It’s just a possibility! 

People were mumbling around him, little by little the voices around became more sharp. As his body was under water and He Xuan was slowly coming to the surface. His vision and hearing became more clear as He Xuan found himself completely surrounded by known faces, even his parents were on their knees a few steps away from him, not daring to get closer, looking at him with wide eyes full of impact and even ​​inconspicuousness. 

As He Xuan looked abode, finally dawning on everyone's awesomeness. He was nestling on the feet of the nameless Goddess statue, the book in her hands above his body protecting him from the disaster around him, the whole temple was in shambles. Among all the destruction He Xuan was perfectly safe being protected by a God’s omen. 

Civil Gods protect the ones they hope one day ascend to their side. 

VII

An elegant blue light robe sat delicately over QingXuan bed. Long straight flowy sleeves, high neck, multiple layers over itself and a sash that rolls over one's waist ; perfect for cultivation training, it was currently a popular style between male cultivators. Male cultivators. 

QingXuan looked bemused at the robes that were on their bed, not sure of what their older brother was expecting them to do with something like that.

“So what do you think?” The older was looking directly at the eyes, an impatient look across his face, arms crossed around his chest. 

“mmmm… They are nice robes, gege. But they are small for you…” QingXuan fake ignorance trying to avoid this inevitable conversation. QingXuan was almost a teenager and the reverend was found after all this year. Throughout Shi Wudu's perspective there was no reason for QingXuan to keep wearing girls' clothes, much to QingXuan despair. 

“QingXuan, don´t try to make a fool out of me” Shi Wudu furrowed his brow as he looked directly at QingXuan eyes with the intention to make them crumble and get his way. QingXuan avoided their brother's gaze, afraid to fail on their determination. He could not give Shi Wudu the upper hand, not about this. Their brother could decide everything about what was right or wrong, except this.   

“But… gege all these years living like this. Why should we change now?” The only answer QingXuan received was an exasperated look from Shi Wudu. 

“QingXuan. You are not a little kid anymore. For how long do you think you can trick anyone?” There it was, the moment QingXuan had been avoiding. As a child the differences between boys and girls were almost imperceptible with their hair and dress in fashion with what little ladies fancied to wear QingXuan have never had any problem. Now QingXuan was about to turn thirteen. Changes will come to their body. The Reverend has found them after all these years. QingXuan needed to learn cultivation if he wanted any chance of keeping his life. Shi Wudu‘s teacher had made the concession to teach QingXuan even if it was late for a beginner. Also, Shi Wudu cultivation master only accepted boys.   

The course of action was logical, Shi Wudu refused to explain something as obvious to them. QingXuan was not an idiot, yet their brother was asking for them to leave the only life they knew behind. QingXuan knew nothing about being a boy, they did not want to learn.   

Cultivation… goodhood… the path their brother wanted for them. A kind of power that refuses the path they have not access to.  As a little child QingXuan was mildly obsessed with a book that depicted various interpretations of Gods throughout statues. Some Gods had multiple variants depending on the region, some Gods were depicted sometimes as male other times as female. Real power to choose wherever to look, even being adored for that.  

QingXuan lifted the clothes and held the robes close to their chest, asking when they would begin practicing cultivation. Shi Wudu gave a small smile, as pleased that QingXuan had finally seen that the matter was a dead end road. Let their brother believe whatever pleased him at the moment. QingXuan was going to crave the life they wanted for themselves. Care free. without barriers. Not a child destined to hide from a cruel spirit. Not a child forced to be either male or female. A child born to be adored. 

                                                                                                                                              .……

For the first months after the incident in the abandoned temple were a minor goddess statue saved He Xuan's life, while the other scholars in the main region temple were mugged and robbed a few days before the  important State-level Examination -the last step before the Imperial Examination- the state level results still awaiting, much to He Xuan anxiety, yet there was nothing to being done for now. For a few months after the statue incident a flow of new clientele came to the He family business, waiting to see this supposed blessed child. As all rumors eventually did with fire to fuel it,  it died quickly as no new omens were seen and everything could come back to relative normal. Only benefited securing a new pool of faithful clientele as the family business. Everything was back to the way things were supposed to be, nothing needed to change. He Xuan -that so rarely prayed- did with all his soul for things to remain as they were supposed to be. 

He thought of a little extra prayer as he packed monotonously the robes recently bought by a man he had never seen in his life - an scholar from the capital that had stubbled his way to town on his official travel business and made a stop to replace his robes that had been damaged by the weather the day before-. His mother and Miao´ er were excitedly talking to the man, asking a million questions while He Xuan would inquisitive the man with his eyes at a safe distance. The man appears to be in his late 30s, hairline already so noticeable thanks to the tight topknot holding what was left of his hair, a hairstyle common among high level scholars, little white hairs noticeable on his hair and beard that he occasionally stroke as if thinking. There was nothing noticeable about the man, except that he clearly belonged far away from this little town thanks to his posture and expensive attire. Apart from that he looked like most men his age would look. Like men were supposed to. 

It was expected from He Xuan to aspire from a future like that. Elegant robes and distinguished posture, scholar attire. His mother looked so bright talking to the man, He Xuan guessed that was everything she ever dreamed for her son. Miao’er was brimming, almost jumping in excitement asking a million questions. Did she yearn for a husband of status like that?. Imperial scholar, high status, adoration from the people around, all made He Xuan soul jump full of certainty, deservedness. Deep hoarse voice, hard edges all around his body, thin receding hair, itching hair biting  his skin digging into his pores throughout the lower parts of this face spreading out to his neck, like a knife pretended to make him bleed… it made him feel like he was about to puke everything he was holding inside.

When has he started thinking like this? All this uncertainty about his future body. Everything had been fine before, the difference between men and women seems so little to a kid. But He Xuan was about to turn thirteen. One morning he woke up so much taller than Miao’ er and his voice started to hurt a little, and this was only the beginning, He Xuan was growing up. Turning into a man. 

A man.           

Where does it end? He Xuan had started to pay too much attention to women around the town. It was normal for boys his age; many of his fellow scholars and other boys around the village talked about this; the way they talked about women was so different from He Xuan's deep feelings. How pretty their robes and makeup they wore were, the soft timber of their voice, how smooth and soft their skin was - no hairy daggers as stumble making their skin bleed.    

It was dumb . He Xuan would like to convince himself. It was impossible. It was just part of growing up. 

As He Xuan was an experiment expert in repression. He already had enough problems to mold his anxieties about. He decided just to not think about it, nothing would stop him from growing up. 

Destiny caught up to all its subjects sooner or later. He Xuan was going to learn that  the twists and turns of it were more cynical than he ever expected. Repression at the bring of bursting. 

VIII

Shi QingXuan went for two weeks -every single day- to train cultivation from sunrise to sunset. The male clothes proved to not be as bad as they thought, they were overall comfortable and Shi QingXuan thought they still look good and adorable in this new attire, there was not that much difference between being a man or a woman. 

Then suddenly, Shi QingXuan refused to leave the house for a whole month. 

The first lessons were hard, yet QingXuan quickly caught the rhythm, natural talent just like their brother showing up. Despite never cohabitating with boys QingXuan quickly became friends with most of the other disciples, as it was always natural for them, people gravitated towards them naturally in all situations. It was not ideal but QingXuan thought they could be happy living like that. Until one day during sword training the same voice that has haunted QingXuan nightmares since that horrible day when they got lost in the mountain reverberated through the training hall.  

Your hands will fail you and blood will bloom from your skin by your doing. Watch out little Xuan or you might lose a hand. 

Under the covers, QingXuan looked at the bandages covering the long gash that they caused themselves with the sword in the panicked moment after the reverend appeared in front of everyone. 

“QingXuan! you better explain yourself! Why is the teacher telling me he hadn't heard of you for a month!” The bag of the door startled QingXuan, frightened to leave the sheets to encounter face to face with the most aggravated Shi Wudu they have ever seen. “You are going to apologize right now! and beg on your knees for the teacher to take you back” roared the elder, dragging QingXuan by the robes, until his gaze fell on the injured decorating QingXuan arm, his expression shifting completely, the dread of the recognition of what must have centantly happen downing into him.  

It's been such a long time since QingXuan saw an expression like that on their brother, so raw, so human only for them.  Since Shi Wudu officially graduated from his teacher wing and started going on missions around the town and other close ones, in a short time everyone on the region already knew of the aloof, powerful cultivator that would lay and vanquish any malignant spirit for the right prize. 

“Or just… stay. It's going to be over soon. I can feel it” Shi Wudu recovered his composure. The aura around their brother has been different in the last few weeks, sometimes it looked like he was not fully there, a bright light about to skyrocket towards the sky leaving its mortal vessel, dissolved into the water and turned into a destructive wave. 

Shi Wudu felt divinity invading every part of his body. When it finally happened and he ascended, the only thing binding him to his mortal life would be QingXuan. Shi QingXuan also needed to stop being a mortal.  

                                                                                                                                          ……..

Congratulations, He Sheng. 

In this emission from the state level department, we are pleased to announce that you have been condecorated with the highest score for young scholars in the whole region. 

Accept this sum of money and this new set of ink and peacock writing pens as your reward for all your efforts. 

We are expected and will be attentive for your imperial examination when you reach the reach. 

signature, 

Imperially appointed house of scholar studies of the Fu Prefecture.    

IX

Despite the fear crawling from the tip of their toes to their head, QingXuan came back to the mountain and beg from their master to allow them to resume their training, which the old man permitted more like a favor to Shi Wudu that was becoming more famous every day as the divinity aura around him just get stronger.  

Training has proven to be hard and the teacher was especially hard on them, by explicit indication of Shi Wudu. QingXuan's favorite part of training was when it was finally over, all the young disciples would gather to drink a few cups at The Terrace of Cascading Wine. 

QingXuan have just recently discovered the joys of drinking and despite their comically low resistance to alcohol, getting drunk has soon proven to be their new favorite activity. Anything was funnier than thinking about their brother or ascensions to heaven or how much they missed their girls' clothes sometimes or the paralyzing fear -they were pretending not to feel every day- to encounter the Reverend once more. 

Now throwing their weight over one of the boys that also trained in the mountain, an alcoholic drink in hand and laughing loudly at their own joke. QingXuan was as happy as they could get these days. 

Until in the lower levels of the place QingXuan noticed a group of mean looking men surrounding a young couple. The thugs seems to be threatening the young boy was desperately quickly taking anything valuable that he might have on his pockets to give to the bigger threatening men, as the girl was was doing her best trying her make herself as small as possible with an horrified expression while one of the ruffians was getting closer to her face. 

“EHHH! Do you have to bully younglings to get money for your drinks? What a pathetic scene!” Loudly proclaimed QingXuan from the higher balcony, looking down on the scene as they played with the drink in their hand.

“Don’t poke your nose around in others' business, cultivator!” growled the brawnier looking guy of the gang, probably the leader, as he drew a pocket nike and pointed at QingXuan. “Or do you want me to go up there and teach you a lesson?” 

QingXuan just bore condescending expressions as they pretended to yawn and delicately tip their cup over the railing of the balcony, transparent liquid falling directly on the gang leader who turned pale and then all red in fury and humiliation. Then with a snap of their fingers the big man went flying in high speed straight to a nearest wall turn unconscious due to the blow, it was an overall simple spell but QingXuan was sure these thugs have never seen any type of magic as seen their boss fly was enough to make rest of them to run away in fear, like soaked chickens. 

The people around roared in applause and praise at that little power demonstration, even the young couple went to thank QingXuan on their knees and offer to buy the most expensive wine for them. QingXuan just laughed friendly, asked the couple to stand up and bought a drink for the both of them so they could pass the bitter moment. 

In a few weeks there was not a soul in all the close-by towns or even across the whole region that hadn’t heard and been marveled by the story of The Young Lord Who Poured Wine.     

                                                                                                                                           ……..

“Isn’t this pretty comfortable?” Miao’er was looking up at him with a happy smile while she got more comfortable in the small bed. There was a promotion of highly low prices in the next town market and Miao’er parents got the opportunity to go and get a big supply for their business. And Miao’er got the opportunity to sneak in He Xuan into her room. 

“It’s the best thing to ever happen to me” He Xuan was laying next to her in the bed as calm as he had ever looked in months. 

“Better than getting the best exam score in the whole State?” meet the girl with a rogue mocking tone. 

“Yes,” said He Xuan without hesitation. The genuine surprise in the girl's eyes left He Xuan speechless as Miao ’er rose up and threw her whole body weight into He Xuan in a gleeful hug that made them both fall from the small bed.  

“gods…” Complain He Xuan from the floor being pinned down by the girl's weight. “When I passed the imperial exam, we will move to the capital and I will bought us the biggest most expensive bed money can pay” 

“I don’t care” was the only response of the girl that was still floating in her own happiness. “If A-Xaun wants to go to the capital I would follow him everywhere, but I would be just as happy living with a small old bed, attending our parents stalls for the rest of our lives as long it is with you” 

He Xuan was stunned by the sincerity of the words, he had waited for so long to become a man worthy of Miao’er just for her to claim to want him in any condition he found himself in. He Xuan return the hug in adoration and the most utter uncomplicated happiness of the world. Words on the tip of his tongue finally were left free. Marry me. 

X

The new Water Master resembles his element, a cold semblance of imperturbable character. deceptively inviting just to drag you down into his domain. A warning to not mess with him or  the ties may pull you into the deep unforgivable ocean . 

The new Water Master quickly made a reputation among even the most ancient gods. 

Wealthy mortals washed the Water Master with all their riches and erected all the temples money can pay, with the most beautiful statues their devoted hearts could come up with. If they fail to please him the new Water Master would sink their ships and drown their wealth. 

The new Water Master is not someone even other immortals want to get on the wrong side to. Just a select of equally clinical and cold hearted gods dare to befriend him. 

Or at least that was what the folks around said at the time.

                                                                                                                                             ……..

The rumor spread quickly around the region, and old gossips long forgotten were reborn. Scholar He Xuan from Fu Gu had taken the first position in the scholar examination in the whole state, the imperial exam was the next, the boy that survived by a miracle when a forgotten Civil God statue protected him from a certain death. The rumors started again that a destiny greater than an imperial position even could be awaiting for the boy

A generous amount of money has been given with exam results. People around the town and the whole region have expected a lavish banquet for them all to be invited, it was so rare for a fantastical incident to happen in this side of the realm, and to the same person no less. 

No such invitation or demonstration of abundance came. Most of the money was given to the young scholar's old parents to do with it as they considered it fair. And a considerable amount was given as a dote to the father of a local girl, the owner of a food stall. As the young scholar asked to marry his childhood love. 

Or at least that was what the folks around said at the time.  

XI

QingXuan's new life as a minor god has proven a return to what they were accustomed to and deserved. Even if most people in the middle court were opportunistic and hypocrites willing to take and do anything, consping and betraying to ascend to actual godhood. QingXuan learned quickly not to trust so easily as other minor gods change their attitude the moment Shi Wudu and Shi QingXuan connection become clear to everyone. 

Yet even if it was lonely QingXuan have been happier than ever for the two years in the middle court, his brother quickly became well respected and money showered him like rain, allowing QingXuan to return to their idly content life, showing occasionally to The Terrace of Cascading Wine, and going to the mortal realm flaunting their new powers that allowed them to adapt a fully female appearance, a new power QingXuan become heavily attached to. Most importantly the Reverend has not shown up in years in front of them, until this day while QingXuan was in one of their excursions on the mortal realm disguised as a female cultivator. 

“This is vicious even for you, you know that right?” 

“And now you have dragged us into this plan…” 

“What option do I have at this point? You yourself said that making him a minor god would change nothing”    

QingXuan ignored the conversation as they burst into their brother's palace hall, panicking and breathing heavily, struggling to catch up. The moment QingXuan made an act of presence, Shi Wudu hid the parchment roll he was showing Pei Ming and Ling Wen. Disapproving gaze falling on QingXuan. 

“Gege!! The Reverend! It showed up again! I ran away before it could do anything!” Almost scream the younger, looking over their shoulders as to make sure the malicious spirit has not followed them.   

“What are you wearing?!” That was definitely not the answer QingXuan expected. They knew that Shi Wudu would be displaced when he inevitably discovered QingXuan's new use of their powers. It never passed QingXuan's mind that their brother would find that more important than the Reverent attacking once again. 

“QingXuan just asked for some spell books. Who am I to deny access to the information? what QingXuan does with it is not my concern” Ling Wen defended herself, Shi Wudu was now frowning at his friend. 

“All right… All right. Little QingXuan. Do not go around causing your brother even more stress” Intervened Pei Ming in a patronizing tone that made QingXuan see red in anger. Why among all people in Heaven their brother had to become friends with the most annoying one?. 

QingXuan flew outside the room angry. Not caring even if the Reverend reappeared and went down to the Mortal Realm. It was not fair, they had done everything Shi Wudu asked of him for so long and he still was not satisfied. And this, the ability to do as they pleased with their appearance, the fact that they could truly be a man or a woman to their heart's content, was the only thing that prevented QingXuan from going insane. His aloof and cold brother that always claim that he did nor need for the companionship of his peers have made easily made friends with Ling Wen and Pei Ming as the trio seem inseparable at the time to the increasing desperation of the other gods that feared at the same time that despised all three of them (Not the either of those three particularly care about others opinion), meanwhile QingXuan was constantly surrounded by double face snakes that only wanted to gain Shi Wudu favor and as QingXuan was now technically a god all their mortal friends were out of reach. QingXuan was wretchedly lonely. Exploring the mortal realm as a mysterious female cultivator was what maintained them cheerful and hopeful, but gods did they wish to have someone else to go with them: going around exploring the mortal realm, solving mysteries, drinking wine, anything and everything. Twin souls in desperate need of kinship. 

Their aimless wandering landed them in the extravagant Shi state, or what was left of it. QingXuan's once magnificent childhood home was now nothing more than an empty location, at the brink of falling over itself. As they walked around the empty halls QingXuan notice that walls full of mold and the lack of anything of the once fancy decoration their used to love -surely between servant and family members have take away anything remotely valuable- QingXuan felt their prickle with tears, and they were not sure it was caused to the dust in the air or everything that have happened in their live.      

“I assume you will be here” Shi Wudu's voice came from behind them. QingXuan stubbornly refused to turn around and face their brother, who just sigh more tired than angrily. “ It's just that, QingXuan.  I don’t get it. Seeing you like this… just reminds me of all those years of hiding, of lying. Of living in this house pretending nothing was happening when I was the only one worried that monster was going to get to you. How can you not hate it? Why do you yearn to bring the past? We should just buried it” 

After a moment of silence, QingXuan finally spoke. 

“ This is not something you can bury away, because it is just how I am, gege. I don't associate being a woman with some painful past or some kind of lie. Being a man or a woman, the endless possibility of choosing at will which I want to be, or to be both or neither, is actual freedom for me. It's the most precious thing I have.”         

A new silence was installed between the two siblings, yet it was not awkward or angry. It was the silence of compliance, of both understanding how the other felt about the matter and the acceptance that some fundamental truths about who QingXuan were going to change. 

“Do not worry about the Reverend. That won't be a problem ever again soon” said Shi Wudu after a few minutes. Finishing the discussion about gender, and silently granting QingXuan their victory on the subject. 

QingXuan did not dare to ask more about the subject, just confident in their brother’s words.  Shi Wudu sounded so confident and determined and QingXuan knew that was when their brother always got what he wanted. Not even the Heavenly Emperor himself could stop Shi Wudu now. Destiny and consequences be damned do they dare to stand in his way. 

                                                                                                                                          ……..

The situation must be some cruel joke with the intention to drive He Xuan to madness. Just like when he refused to go to the temples and bend their knees to the gods, then making him unable to study, yet the solution to that old problem was so simple. This new predicament (or old predicament, recently reborn) was not simple and the apparent solution would only make the problem worse and He Xuan would not be unable to stop. 

“So… I guess I would have to go tomorrow and make the change” He Xuan's father was looking around awkwardly as Miao´er was laughing hysterically about what was going on. Both families decided that the best idea was a summer wedding, as soon as possible. Some Miao´er family members lived two towns down the river and offered an extremely low price for the wedding gowns, which seems like an excellent idea until now: where the whole family stand between two red, long, dedicated decorated wedding gowns. Two female wedding gowns. 

“You better get tomorrow to A-Shen place and solve this. She must have mixed up the packages and now there is probably some poor confused couple out there that got two male gowns” finalize Miao´ er mother looking at her husband. 

“I need to go pick some merchandise tomorrow. I can take the dresses with me. Let the dresses stay here for the night and first thing in the morning I will solve the confusion, "said He Xuan's father. “ Let's hope this does not delay the ceremony to much” 

No, please no. 

Take them away from here now.

Or I would do something stupid.  

And something stupid He Xuan really wanted to do. Now completely alone in a room with the two red dresses. He Xuan 's hands were trembling as he removed his robes. So many years ago, at the brink of puberty, he had forced himself to bottle up this feeling in a robust urn completely sealed off and protected from the outside world, he just had to accept the inevitable changes about to come of his body. Now the women's red robes have found a crack on what he thought was an unwavering vessel keeping all his undesirable wants. Now with this new crack it was threatening to completely break free, letting the water flow free. It would drown him. 

Just one time. To get the idea out of my mind. 

Just one time.  

He Xuan knew he was lying to himself as he put the delicate red robe on. He had never felt material like this yet it felt nice and comfortable on his skin. A new crack of this repression vessel, filling him with the desire to do another stupid thing like sneak in and take his mother's makeup set. 

“A-Xuan! Lets go to the market, we have to go buy parchment for the new invitatio–” Miao‘er barged into the room without knocking -as she always did- to find her finance wearing a woman's wedding gown. The vessel completely  broke, all his secrets open for everyone to see. He Xuan prayed that he would drown before having to face the consequences. Miao´ er was looking at him eyes wide open, mind probably racing faster than ever. If she was going to despise him, slap him or throw what first she catches at him, He Xuan hoped for it to be quickly. 

“Wait for me here. I will get some makeup and then I will do your hair” After that the girl swiftly left the room. Now was He Xuan the one found dumbfounded by the antics of their beloved. Minutes later Miao´ er returned holding so much makeup, combs and hair accessories that He Xuan wondered how she did not drop anything. 

The girl ordered him to sit on the desk where the outside light hited more directly and told him to stay still. He Xuan , still in shock, could only obey as the girl got really close to him, examining his face giving an acceptable nod before starting applying powder directly into his face. 

“Are you really fine with this?” After a few minutes of strange silence, He Xuan was finally able to speak. 

“Don't move!” The girl berated him as she applied red painting on his eyes. “What? That you are so excited to marry me that you could not resist putting on the dress?” 

“No… I mean I want to marry you more than anything. But this is more like… I feel like–”

“You don't need to explain anything. Nothing would change that I want you to be my husband” Miao´ er was looking at him directly in the eyes, gluing the broken urn and filling it with new found confidence. “Or well. Do you want to be a husband? I can change the way I refer to you” said the girl, now a little nervous , afraid to have said anything wrong and ruin the moment. 

“ No! I mean… I am fine with being referred to as a man…sometimes” He Xuan consider, for the first time out loud. “ Other times I think I would be better as a girl… sometimes I feel like a man. It's always changing” gods, this was the hardest thing He Xuan has ever done. 

“I see, that makes sense. Now turn around so I can fix your hair” 

It really did not make sense. Why was she acting so nonchalant about all of this?

“you–” He Xuan started to say, but he was hastily interrupted. 

“I don't really care to have a husband or a wife as long as it is you. A-Xuan” said matter factly, without the slightest hesitation on her tone, before adding checkley. “ Plus… You know I am an only daughter. This is really funny, I have never done something like this for someone else” finished before turning the chair so He Xuan could look at himself in the mirror. 

“A-Xuan is so pretty! You really look like a girl” squeaked Miao´ er, deeply proud of her work. He Xuan could not part his eyes from the mirror, like in a trance. He had always been lean and skinny so dress fit rather decently enough on his front side, yet it did not close all the way his wider back and shoulder (Miao´ er have come with an improvised red shawl to hastily hide that fact). His fiance has indeed done a wonderful job with the makeup and the hair, smoothing his more harsh and manish features to actually look like the elegant, beautiful young ladies He Xuan was mildly obsessed with all those years ago, when he was on the brink of leaving childhood gender ambiguity. 

He was so entranced by his new appearance that he did not notice Miao´er letting go of her clothes and changing for the other red female wedding gown they had been sent. Until the girl put herself in front of him, a beautiful red dress that fit her perfectly (without any of the tricks He Xuan required) and a delicate veil covering her face. He Xuan felt he might pass out at that moment, mouth dry and cheeks going even redder despite all the blush he was wearing. 

“We have to move the wedding back until A-Xuan comes back from his imperial exam. But we would not have the opportunity to look the same when the day finally comes. I want to take you as my husband and as my wife, I want to take you whatever way you are. This are my first wedding bows” said the girl, before dropping to her knees in front of him. 

“ I promised ever since we were children that I would make you happy, but I think that It has been you that has given me a happiness beyond imaginable. I will work to compensate you for the rest of our lives. Heavens have no say in the matter” respond He Xuan as he too fell to his knees in front of her. 

Both lovers' foreheads touched the wooden floor. 

“While I lean against the banister of a tall tower,

The breeze gently blows.

As I look into the distance,

The end of Spring arouses melancholy in my mind.

Surrounded by dewy grass at sunset,

I wonder who is able to understand my longing.

I would rather drink to intoxication.

One should sing when one has wine in hand,

But drinking to escape offers no reprieve.

I do not mind that my clothes are getting looser.

My lover is worthy of desire.”*  

finished He Xuan, as they both raised their heads

“My wife, such a dutiful scholar” chuckled Miao´ er, as He Xuan lifted the veil covering her face and kissed her softly on the lips. Unknowleding drinking his last sips of honey sweet happiness in his mortal life.    

XII

The new Wind Master was just like their element. Care-free and playful, like a childish laughter filling those who worship them. The new Wind Master quickly got a reputation for being kind and generous with mortals. If you pray gently to the new Wind Master your heart's wish will surely be granted.

 The new Wind Master liked to walk around the mortal realm, filling their youthful heart  with the delights the mortal realm could offer. It was logical the new Wind Master ascended at only sweet sixteen while gleefully drinking wine. 

Many mortals claim to have met the new Wind Master wandering the earth. Some claim them to be an elegant and kind young lord. Others claim them as a beautiful female cultivator. 

The new Wind master is quickly adored and sanctified in many forms. Sometimes male. Most of the time female. Statues and temples for the new Wind Master never stopped being built, delighting their ever growing number of loyal followers. 

The new Wind Master is close to the Water Master. Some claim that they were siblings. Others deny this claiming them to be a married couple. A few extravagant believers even made stories of the two of them being actually one and the same, taking different forms and disguises. You never know with the imagination of mortals, and as the new Wind Master and the Water Master became more known and beloved across the whole land; rumors run wild and contradicting stories and tales could not be stopped from extending.   

Or at least that was what the folks around said at the time. 

                                                                                                                                ……..

There was a three day trip from Fu Gu to the capital to take the imperial examination. 

He Xuan got to take the trip in a caravan with all the other scholars of the region, all equally excited and nervous to present the exam. 

A few hours after their excursion began the group decided to stop in a little plaza to eat something and bought something to drink for the next three days. 

Much to He Xuan despair, as he  has made everything on his power to persuade the others to not stop so soon. In this specific food stall of all places. 

This was the same location he and Miao’ er had escaped a few nights before to have a secret night date. With He Xuan dressed as a woman. Miao‘er have helped modify some of her clothes to fit He Xuan, with the right makeup and in the dark of the night Miao’ er have convinced him no one will notice. And for even more precaution they have decided to go far away to have dinner and drinks in a close town a few hours away, a place where no one would know them. The same place where He Xuan was sitting at this same moment, surrendered by fellow academics. 

He Xuan was digging his face at the table, doing his best to not been seen, wanting to leave this place as soon as possible. When a cold air came across the establishment like a knife being dug deep into his skull, tremors coming around his body and an almost uncontrollable urge to puke coming over him. Everyone in the establishment must have felt the same as all the conversation around suddenly stopped. 

A strange looking man covered head to toes in robes stood up, extremely tall. Even if his face was covered. He Xuan was sure a cruel smile was plastered on that face. 

Beware little scholar! All your efforts will turn to dust! You bring no gifts to please your evaluators, that would anger them. Your exam will be lost and you will be granted the last place! 

At the sound of the malicious prediction, all the scholars in the stall rose in anger ready to comfort the man wishing evil onto them. The figure disappears, leaving everyone in shock and fury.   

After a few minutes most of the scholars calm down and even some of his peers try to laugh it off, ignoring what they were convincing themself was just a cruel joke from a malicious man that saw a group of young scholars and tried to scare them with wicked comments.

The sensation of a knife digging into his skull did not leave He Xuan for the rest of the trip to the capital.   

XIII

With the help of all the people of Fu Gu they built a temple for the Wind Master, there were not many healthy people in the region as most families were humble merchants from a little town forgotten by most people, yet the people were firmly devoted and grateful to the gods, all families contributed to erge temples to worship the most important gods in heaven. 

The new Wind Master was kind to mortals. They would surely bring blessings for all people in the village. 

Close to the He family shop. 

A luxurious temple for the new Wind Master was built. 

                                                                                                                                             ……. 

Notification for He Sheng. 

In this emission from the imperia; level department, we report poor performance in the imperial examination according to your evaluators. 

Last place among the 200 scholars that presented the exam. 

Try again in 4 years.

signature, 

Imperial house of scholar studies of the Kingdom. 

XIV

Heavens were much funnier as a proper god. Having their own temples. Receiving tributes. Their powers were also growing stronger, even more when they assumed a female appearance -that mortals seem to be as fond of as QingXuan themself was-. Being away from the middle court was the biggest advantage. Actual gods were better than the middle court ones, yet QingXuan still lacked what they could call actual friends. Most people in heaven were just interested in having their or Shi Wudu's favor. 

It's not that it matter much as QingXuan preferred to spend their time in the mortal realm, walking around mortals in disguise, going to their own temples, comparing the status visage to their actual face (In QingXuan opinion was that no statue could make justice to their cuteness either as a man or a woman, but they appreciated the effort nonetheless), listening personally to what their followers were asking to them. The only thing that QingXuan loved more than going around the mortal realm solving quests and helping their flowers was probably the mortal realm's fine wine and how much the mortals just seem to love the new Wind Master. 

And now they could enjoy all the delights of the mortal realm, throughout their immortal, powerful, affluent existence. The Reverend would never attack a god chosen by the heavens. Their brother was right, both of them were of the few selected. Everything about the Reverend coming from them has been a horrible mistake, QingXuan fate was pinched by the Heavens, QingXuan deserved the highest of positions by birthright. And that malicious spirit had been eradicated, never to be seen again.              

                                                                                                                                         ……..

He Xuan locked himself in his room for a week after receiving the notification of his last place in the imperial exam.  It did not make any sense, he knew his answer, he knew all his efforts, that calification did not make sense yet all his efforts to contact and make a reclamation have been ignored. The wedding had been postponed, it would be strange to celebrate due to the circumstances and He Xuan was not in the mood to do any of that, or to make some escape to some close town playing dress up, or to eat, or talk or leave the room all the same.  

Until today, he had decided to go and help in the family stall taking orders. The only thing worse than being left to root in his room digging into his own misery was to feel useless, He Xuan needed to constantly be doing something. It has been an overall calm day, with few clients with easy orders. Even Miao’ er father had brought him lunch from his stall, claiming that his daughter had been worried about He Xuan not eating enough, yet she couldn’t bring the food herself as she was working extra hours in a close plantation to earn some extra money. 

“What? Is everything alright? Are you struggling? Did you need any type of help?” He Xuan asked, worried that so concentrated in himself and his problems he had ignored that Miao’ er family might also be struggling. Gods… if only he had done more in the exam and not been an utter failure, both families would have been set up for life. 

“No, kid. Do not worry. It's just that…” Miao‘er eyed He Xuan father, not sure what to say. He Xuan’ s father sighed and confessed.

“I am only telling you this because I don’t want you to worry even more” his father started, looking him right into the eyes. “Miao‘er and your sister went working extra hours in the Wan Family plantation because they wanted extra money to buy something nice for you… After everything that happen” 

This confession shocked He Xuan to his core. How selfish could he be? He had been so concentrated on himself that he hadn't even noticed that his little sister wasn’t around the house or the shop, Miao’er tried talking to him when the letter arrived but he had just locked himself, deciding to postpone the wedding even when it was her wedding too. All the while the two of them were working extra hours to get him something to feel better. He needed to apologize to both of them.    

At that moment the sound of someone entering the shop caught He Xuan's attention even if he was fighting the urge to go and apologize to the two girls at that right moment. A figure completely covered in a travel gown waiting in the front to be attendant. The stranger presence made He Xuan nervous, trying to hide his tremors he asked what he could do for the client.  

A long bonny hand, with sharp nails clinged into his arm dragging him close and making him winced in pain. The weird sensation of a knife digging into his head came back and the same voice that made the awful prediction about getting last place in the imperial exam spoke: 

Little Xuan! What a beautiful fiancee you have! What a lovely little sister you have! They will be abducted by evil and lascivious men! They will suffer for their last days on earth and you will never see them again!

To such horrible insinuation He Xuan was filled with rage and tried to punch the stranger with his free arm, yet as soon as he flung forward the creature evaporated in the wind. Leaving He Xuan trembling with anger and an ache on his head. 

At that moment his and Miao‘er mothers barged into the store, both women‘s eyes filled with tears.   

XV

My daughter has been lost! pleased Lady Winter helped us! Please, take this tribute. It is all we have. 

QingXuan has received multiple prayers about missing girls, accompanied with generous tributes from the same town for days on end. It seemed serious and QingXuan needed to do something. 

It has proven to be an easy task with their new powers. One of the lost girls prayed for them and offered her jade earrings as a tribute. The prayer quickly gets into QingXuan's head, showing the location of all the girls. With two swings of their fan, all the men flew far away or ran away in fear. That same night all twenty lost girls were returned home as quickly as the wind came and went.

The female cultivator that saved the girl was the wind master, everyone in the region knew that. More temples were built all around and more histories run wild across the whole world about the beautiful and kind Wind Master. 

                                                                                                                                        ……. 

He Xuan ran as fast as he had ever run in his whole life. Miao‘er and his sister were in trouble. Outlaws have raided the Wan farm, killed all the men and kidnapped the woman working there. Miao ‘er and his sister included. Everyone the town heard the awful news and the moment disgraced scholar He Xuan was seen running like a maniac, the crowd knew he would try to do something so the same crowd started following while whispering among each other. He Xuan couldn’t care less, he just needed to get to Miao‘er and his sister. Until the now terrible familiar pain on his head made him stop in agony and for a third time that cruel voice came from the crowd, for everyone to hear, yet He Xaun knew it was talking directly to him. 

Be careful, not-longer-scholar-Xuan! You can't save them! You will only land yourself in prison! 

Filled with rage, holding his fists up, ready to fight this creature tormenting him, yet his torturer has already lost itself in the crowd again. He did not have time for this now, even with the throwing pain on his head, he needed to get to the people he loved the most. 

There were not simple bandits, the ones that kidnapped the women. They were sent by a rich man that had recently built his new house in the center of the region, violently dragging women for all nearby towns to be his concubines as he falsely claims they all have come to him by their own will. His army of bandits protecting his house, ready to kill anyone to try and defy them. Even if multiple girls have been subjected to that awful destiny in that house, everyone was too afraid to try anything. Except for former scholar He Xuan, who came barging in willing to fight the house lord himself. Former scholar He Xuan even killed one of the house guards that had tried to stop him. 

That was all He Xuan was able to do, before being reprimanded by the other guards, and being given to the local authorities as the rich man cried victim, claiming He Xuan to be a crazy man, furious his fiancee had left him after horribly losing the imperial exam. Former Scholar He Xuan was thrown into a dungeon without trial. No one saw him for the next two years.  

XVI     

It was QingXuan's first heavenly banquet and their first time participating in the Mid Autumn lantern festival competition. It was a joyous day.  

Lady Wind Master arrived already a little tipsy from one of their mortal realm trips. Everyone smiled nicely and various groups cheerfully asked them to sit at their table, yet QingXuan took their rightful place next to their brother who seemed strangely happy -probably because he was sure he was going to win, only coming second to the Emperor Himself in the lantern competition-.   

Shi QingXuan was born into a rich family, so this was far from the first banquet they attended. The banquets in Heaven fastly prove to be out of QingXuan wildest imagination, cascades of wine were poured down like a river and sweets trades floated around as QingXuan get even drunker and danced around with some pretty minor goddess, blushing yet excited to be noticed by Lady Wind Master. 

QingXuan laughed hysterically as they saw the plays that were chosen for the other gods, especially when in his play the interpretation of Pei Ming was an inept fraud of a swordsman that got trampled by a group of women that he had left heartbroken. QingXuan smiled smugly as the story presented about them was the famous story about the day they saved a young couple by pouring wine over the thieves harassing them. 

By the end of the night QinXuan felt as if they would start floating drunk on happiness. When they actually notice they have earned the sixth position in the lantern competition, an impressive feature by a newly appointed god. Even Shi Wudu gives them a little proud smile because of that. 

By the end of the night QingXuan was sleeping head against the fine wooden table, clutching half a glass of wine strongly in their hand. A big smile plastered on their face.

                                                                                                                                …….

Hunger was a strange feeling, at least for the first weeks of his long prison sentence. 

The guards watching over him thought it would be hilarious to put his food just outside his reach, so it never matter how much He Xuan pulled the chains trapping him against the wall, he would only further hurt his wrists and never reach the food. 

While on the rare occasion that he was given food, the guards push it onto his cell with a strong kick causing all the plate content to spill on the dirty cell floor, forcing He Xuan to meagerly eat what little could be saved directly from the rock floor. 

He Xuan's family was not wealthy by any metrics yet their parents have always worked hard so never his sister or him have never gone out without food. He Xuan was not used to this feeling. 

The endless pit at the base of the stomach, impossible to be satisfied. Only getting his stomach filled with his own saliva and his own blood drawn as he was biting so hard the insides of his own mouth. He Xuan thought he knew yearning before, in the past he was hungry for recognition, for adoration, for the status and money his intelligence could bring him once he left the imperial examination room. This hunger, actual hunger, the craving for something he always had been granted so easily as food, to be abruptly deprived of it. 

His desperate and hungry stomach was eating him from the inside, he could feel it. it was devouring itself. Draining his blood, eating his organs piece by piece, sucking his skin. He was losing his hair in tatters every day, he could clearly see every single bone of his body, his brain was being dried out like a sponge, he couldn't even keep counting the days he had been locked up. It could have been twelve months or twelve years. By the time He Xuan got off that cell there would not be anything left of him.      

                                                                                                                               …….

Wind Master please. Help our son

We have already lost a daughter. 

Our son was unjustly incarcerated trying to save her and his fiancee. 

Our son is such an intelligent scholar, he was supposed to have such a bright future. 

He is only seventeen years old.  

Please, Wind master. 

Take this tribute, is all he can give right now. 

Please, Wind Master. You have always been known for your kindness.

Please.

Please.

Please.

                                                                                                                                …….

A prison guard He Xuan had never seen before was watching him as he was biting the skin off his skinny fingers, anything to placate the hunger at this point. 

The guards face was cast away by the darkness of the room, or maybe the hunger, dehydration and loneliness had utterly ruin He Xuan sight, yet the now familiar ache on his head came back and He Xuan already know what that voice would bring him, even at the brink of madness he will always recognize that awful, guttural, cruel voice. 

Poor, little Xuan. Are you suffering that much? 

But do not worry! Your beautiful fiancee and lovely sister would suffer no more. 

What a faithful girl you had for a fiancee! She refused to do as she was taught and was beaten to death. 

Poor little sister took her own life after what those men did to her. 

Are you suffering that much, poor little Xuan? 

Why don't you follow them to their graves?  

He Xuan haven’t spoken a word in months, have not emitted a sound apart from whimpering in so long. The wail that left his lips at that moment startled him to his most inner core, that sound was not human. He Xuan has been reduced to little more than an injured animal at the brink of death, but never to be given that mercy.  

As He Xuan starved, The Reverend gloated while feeding on his misery. 

XVII

“You pick a stubborn one… what luck you two siblings have” Pei Ming's voice annoyed Shi QingXuan from the other side of the door. 

“You have to go and pick the one that would simply not die” Ling Weng's voice sounded exhausted as usual and a little worried, that last characteristic only showed when someone she cared about was in trouble. 

“What else must I do? Why can he just die?” That was their brother's angered voice. 

Their brother was annoyed and QingXuan had no idea what could be going wrong. It was usual for the siblings to meet every afternoon of the fifteenth of the month to have dinner together and a chat, yet it seems Shi Wudu has forgotten about it because he was furious that someone was not dead? What was their brother talking about? 

The conversation startled QingXuan, and they swore to investigate more of the matter, or that was what they thought at the moment, soon QingXuan would forget having overheard  that conversation and continue on their idle eternal life. 

Could you blame them? Their brother was so powerful that it was inevitable for him to win one or two enemies, it would probably be something close to that matter, QingXuan told themself. An immortal life was so far away for mortality, even for QingXuan that enjoy spending time in the mortal realm, their problems just seem so inconsequential and the mortal life so frugal. Immortals would not grant more than a few thoughts before losing them in the fog of eternal memory. 

Even if, unknowingly, QingXuan immortality was incorrigibly linked to the end of that same mortal life, that they quickly forgot about. 

                                                                                                                                         …….

“Hey, filthy. Wake up” a heavy kick on his sunken empty stomach wake He Xuan up. “Happy two years locked here. Your conviction is over. Get away from here before chief change his mind” 

What was this man talking about? He said something about it being two years? Could he leave? After years of being left to rot and starve while he was too stubborn to actually die. Was it finally over?. The prison gate was open and his hands were free from the handcuff for the first time in years. Yet he couldn't move his leg after two years of not using them, combined with the malnourishment. 

Once He Xuan had been regarded as a handsome and intellectual young man. He was the pride and joy of the little town of Fu Gu, everyone was sure he would become an important scholar talking directly to the emperor ear as soon as he was old enough to take the imperial exam. Some even though for a while that He Xuan would ascend to heavens and become a god. Nothing was left of that old He Xuan, he was unrecognizable, he was so skinny he could easily be compared to a corpse, his hair had gotten so long and matted because of the grime and lack of care, hair that one was long and silky now looked like a dirty rat nest with parts of it missing, leaving hairless gaps where the skull was visible as in a moment of desperation and hunger He Xuan have eaten chunks of his own hair trying to stop the sound of growling his stomach would not stop making. His face was the one of a 40 year old vagrant and not a freshly eighteen years old, he had a long unkept beard, his pain was so much that that the distant memory of how much little He Xuan have hated to idea of growing facial hair seem so inconsequential. His hands were put in shackles for so long that the bloody scars left on his wrists would never leave him, he would never pick up a pen and practice the calligraphy he had been so praised for in the past. He had not used his voice in so long for anything other than crying and screaming, he would never recite the poetry he so much liked to read and Miao’er always seemed so happy to listen. His brain was so dried out and useless now, he would struggle to solve an exam meant for ten year old children. He was utterly ruined.   

“He is stupid now! so dense…” The guard that kicked him spoke again. “Someone drags him away from here. We need this cell empty”       

Cold hands force him to his feet and He Xuan slowly open his eyes to see the same guard that have taunt him about the death of Miao’ er and his sister, the same voice in the crowd that said he would land himself on jail, the same client that told him that the two girls he adored would be kidnapped, the same stranger that told the whole restaurant that an scholar would unjustly be given the last place in the imperial exam. The unbearable pain on his head had come back - for now on it would not leave him for the rest of life- and He Xuan wanted to bashed his head against the floor of his cell to stop the feeling , not wanting to hear the inevitable prediction that was about to come from that creature foul mouth. There was nothing he could do to avoid it .The creature whispered next to his ear.   

Do you think it is over, little Xuan? 

You should have ended your misery when you had the chance.

But we still have so much to play. 

Your poor parents… they were so sad that their business went bankrupt. 

Your poor mother, so heartbroken. 

Her little girl died. 

Her pride and joy locked in prison. 

She is dead now. 

You kill her. 

XVIII

QingXuan much prefers the company of the mortals than the other gods. Mortals were so much fun to be around. Mainly because QingXuan was in disguise and no one knew who they actually were. In general QingXuan liked mortals, especially if there was alcohol on the table.

This place was special for QingXuan. They had ascended to heaven in this same location, their more famous tale mortals still talked about occurred right there and most importantly, honoring its name, The Terrace of Cascading Wine had the best wine QingXuan ever had.    

A young man had invited QingXuan to sit at the table with his friends and other couples, completely ignorant that the pretty female cultivator that was now leaning onto his shoulders was actually the Wind Master. 

The food came and more and more alcohol was poured as QingXuan laughed with the new group of friends they have so easily integrated themself into, even if QingXuan would soon forget about all of them mortals. The young handsome man seemed delighted with QingXuan company and the pretty waitress flushed red every time QingXuan smiled at her. 

A common occurrence in QingXuan’s immortal happy life. 

                                                                                                                                            …….

His father had been waiting for him when they threw him out of his place of captivity. Years have been cruel on He Xuan's old father, with the pain of losing both his children and now his wife. Despite everything his father had hugged him so tightly, He Xuan thought his fragile bones would turn to sand, yet He Xuan did not care. Despite not having any money left, his father welcomed him home with a table full of food that He Xuan had not been able to touch, his senses so damaged that they were disgusted by the smell of a proper meal. With a pained expression his father had understood. 

In the middle of the night the guilt he felt over rejecting his father's food was almost as intolerable as the hunger he was always feeling now. Food was like water, like air; a vital need that he had been deprived of for so long, his body could no longer tolerate it yet it needed it if he expected to recover. For so long he had dreamed about proper food while licking the floor for lumps of spilled rice porridge and now he had just rejected a table full of delicate carved culinary preparations? his father did not have money, he was old and sick yet he had prepared it for He Xuan and he had rejected it? How could he be so selfish? What would he do if his father got angry and started to deny access to what little food they have? Would he be forced to starve again? would he be denied food forever? by everyone around him? even by himself? 

His old bed was too soft as He Xuan had grown accustomed to the cold hard floor of his prison cell, he would never be able to sleep on a proper bed again. His desperate stomach was chewing in what little was left of his other organs. And the painful headaches the Reverend's presence gave him were a permanent thing now. He Xuan dragged himself to where the family kept his food reserves.  

He needed to do this quickly. There was not time to cook anything properly or someone would notice and take the food away from him again. 

He Xuan took into his hands what seemed to be a huge piece of meat, big enough to feed the once four member family. Meat was a privilege that even in their best moments was difficult to come by. He Xuan wondered how his father had paid for it now that they were in their worst moment. 

He nailed his teeth into the raw animal flesh in the biggest mouthful he was physically able to take and after chewing only two times forced his throat to take the food down. His stomach, deprived of a proper meal for two years, reacted viscerally, urging the return of the intromission. He Xuan fought the feeling for as long as possible as he ate the whole thing in less than ten bites. The moment his mistreated stomach received the last raw meat bite, He Xuan could not contain it anymore and threw up all over the floor. 

His own body was trying to kill him now, denying him food all over again. Something always took what he needed to live away from him. But He Xuan was stubborn and did not accept anything being taken away from him anymore. He was a starved man at the edge of madness. Just like a lost sailor in the middle of the ocean  would end up giving up and drinking salt water in a weak moment. He Xuan forced rice bun after rice bun down his throat, it tasted awful as his mouth was still impregnated with what he had previously thrown out, he was able to force ten rice buns barely chewing any of them before puking all the contents of his stomach all over again. 

His stomach was in more pain at the moment than even years of starvation had done to it, his throat was dry and pulsing in discomfort, his mouth had the worst taste he had ever experienced. As a last resource He Xuan put his hand over his mouth as he forced all his beaten organs to take pieces of raw chicken down his throat. The moment he swallowed He Xuan started seeing double and his knees failed to him again. The last thing he heard was his father's horrified scream before passing out on top of his own puke. 

XIX

Please, Wind Master.

We do not have anything more to offer. 

Your grace has always been known for being kind to mortals. 

My son almost died the day he got out of prison.

He decided to forsake his dream of being a scholar to start a business to support his old father. 

My son already has suffered so much. 

Please, Wind Master. 

Let my son's business be successful. 

So we can survive this hard time. 

XX

For the first time QingXuan has made friends with another Heavily Official. The Rain Master was calm, kind and crafty. Her soft drizzle over the land matched QingXuan care-free wind. Also they both have a deep fondness for mortals. 

On one of their missions in the mortal realm, QingXuan ran into trouble and was forced to ask for the help of the Rain Master to destroy the spirit that had been killing the cattle of a town that had recently built a huge temple for the Wind Master. For her assistance the Rain Master asked QingXuan if they could use her wind power to make the process of reapping her crops easier. 

QingXuan have never been fond of manual labor, a spoiled child they were and they have always avoided dirt so it would ruin their delicate hands. Yet the farmers living with the Rain Master were patient and nice to QingXuan. They all knew QingXuan was a heavenly official and indeed respected them and treated them as an important part of the process of taking care of the crops, yet no one was afraid the correct QingXuan when they made a mistake, no one seemed to want everyone from him apart from the work they were meant to do. 

The Rain Master sits at the table with everyone and shares the food crop from all their collective efforts. She smiled kindly at QingXuan at the end of the day and assured him they could come around at any time they needed. 

QingXuan just gave a smile back at her and promised to bring her the best bottle of wine they could find the next time they visited. 

As QingXuan jumped around back to the heavens, as they smiled a little at the sight of his calloused hands showing the efforts of the day. 

QingXuan thought they had earned a day at a beauty salon after all their hard work. 

                                                                                                                                         ……    

Grief was a strange feeling sitting at the pit of He Xuan's stomach, just like the hunger he would never get rid of, but he needed to learn to keep living with it. 

With a criminal record and his father without a job it was impossible for He Xuan to even consider devoting himself to study and take a chance in the imperial exam again. He needed money now. His father was too old to keep attending their family's old fabrics shop, so he had to close while He Xuan was in prison. He Xuan was back now, he could re-open the shop and earn the money they desperately needed. It also helped once again to make him feel useful, working helped him not to think too much about his time in jail, or about how hungry he was all the time, or his shattered dreams of intellectual fulfillment, or his mother, or his sister, or Miao’ er. 

Miao’ er parents, driven by their grief, have left the town, no one knows where they left. It was torturous for He Xuan the fact that he would never see her again, not even a body to cry over or a tombstone to leave flowers for. He was able to talk and cry with his father about his mother and sister. Miao’ er was just lost in the depths of his memory, no one left in the town that had also loved her. Only him and his fading memory, He Xuan need to keep working to not drill into the thought that someday he would wake up and he will have forgotten the face of the sweetest girl in the world that should have been his wife. 

Many things have changed in the two years of He Xuan confinement, close to the one forgotten town of Fu Gu, a luxurious hotel inn for exclusive travelers had been built, rich people from the big cities that wanted to relax and enjoy nature went there. Most of them had to travel across Fu Gu to get to their destination making  the local economy skyrocket, this heavily benefit the He family newly re open shop as rich travelers coming through the town needed new clothes as they did not pack enough for their vacation or they were not aware of the extremes temperatures of the region, quickly He Xuan was making more than enough money for him and his father to live comfortably. 

Not all the changes were positive. The same rich man that had kidnapped Miao’ er and his sister now had control over all small businesses in the region, sending his personal army of bandits to threaten all businesses in the close towns to give a part of the money made in the month. Even with the money that was taken away from him, He Xuan's business was successful and he had a good amount of money saved. He wanted to try and find Miao’ er parents; talked to them, or apologized or sent some money. Anything. 

After a few months He Xuan was able to walk again with any aid. He barely ate but most days he was able to digest enough food to prevent him from passing out too often. When he was not working he read or tried to practice calligraphy - only when the perpetual ache of his head was not too much- it was good to distract his mind on sleepless nights. He was not happy, he lost that capacity long ago, but he would be satisfied if he was able to give his father a peaceful last years of life. So of course, his relative peace and good fortune was short-lived. 

The moment a cold hand grabbed him in the middle of the market and a mouth disfigured by an awful wide open sadistic smile whispered an horrible prediction into his ear in an unfortunately well known voice, He Xuan felt dreadful horror overrun every part of his body, yet he felt no surprise.    

XXI

QingXuan was paralyzed with fear where they stood. They were in one of their now common excursions for the moral realm when a cold chill breeze came across their bodies and in the middle of a small town QingXuan and the Reverend found each other eye to eye.  

The Reverend looked QingXuan up and down for a moment too long. The female appearance had long ago lost its trick in the Reverend. QingXuan's knees were trembling, not sure whether to either run or scream. 

After horrible long seconds, the Reverend turned around completely ignoring them. QingXuan took the opportunity to run as fast as they were able and transported themself directly back to heaven. Oblivious to the monster that had previously haunt them was breaking into the He Family house.    

                                                                                                                                         ……

He Xuan was silently crying over the dead body of his father. Just as the monster had said, it turns out that the rich man that was extorting everyone for a fraction of their money was in the fabric business and He Xuan was stealing his clients away. The rich man had sent his army of bandits to burn the He family business in the middle of the night. All the money He Xuan had saved had been lost in paying only half of the debt He Xuan held on his back after losing his business and everything inside. 

Soon after that his father had fallen ill, with no money left to pay for medicine He Xuan had begged on his knees to everyone in the town for help. All doors have been shut in his face, everyone knew about He Xuan misfortune and did not want his bad luck to be rubbed onto them. 

His father's last days have been painful. And now He Xuan was utterly alone, or so he hopped. Everything had been taken away from him. The only thing he had left was his life and sooner or later the monster would come to collect it. 

The main door barged open and in the split of a second He Xuan felt a cold air on the right side of his face as someone was about to speak into his ear. 

His tormentor was inside his house. 

                                                                                                                                      …….

Shi Wudu was extremely worried when he found out that QingXuan had seen the Reverend and then extremely angry when he found out that QingXuan had been around the Fu Gu area. He screamed at them like he hadn't in a long time. 

“ I don’t want you to ever go near that town ever again! Did you hear me?” 

“I didn't do it on purpose! Don’t scream at me!” 

“Or better! stay here in heaven! You have everything you could ever want and more! it’s time to grown up and stop playing dress up in the mortal realm”  

“I have told you many times that it is not playing dress up! Also I ascend by my own merits. I can do with my goodhood as I please!” 

“You have no idea of the sacrifices that were made to put you in this position!” 

                                                                                                                                       …...

You will lose this house as you can not pay your debts! 

You will not be able to find a job! Everyone knows that you bring misfortune to the ones you get close to. 

You will live on the streets filling your damaged stomach with food from the trash, like a wretched dog. 

Didn’t you used to want to be a woman? You will have the fate of your sister and sweet fiancee!  

He Xuan was pushed down to the kitchen floor, hugging his own knees, trying to make himself as small as possible while horrible predictions of what would happen to him were thrown untiringly at his already defeated frame. Defeated? no, that monster hadn't won yet, not as long as He Xuan was still breathing. He was the most brilliant scholar of his generation, he had been protected by the civil gods as a kid; this was not the end for him. In a rush of adrenaline and madness He Xuan picked the biggest knife he could have a hold of and charged against the monster speaking behind him. The monster disappeared into the air before the knife made contact with its flesh.  

He Xuan was only a normal human, he could not kill a spirit. He Xuan bloodlust just keep rising. It was one day before the last day of Autumn. Those awful men would be collecting the money they took from the people as they threatened to burn their business. Those awful men that have kidnapped Miao’ er and his sister, unfairly throwing him in jail, killing his mother out of sadness. Those awful men that have burned his business therefore killing his father. Normal humans could not kill spirits. But they could kill other humans.    

He took all the weapons he could find in the house and charged outside into the main street of the town. 

                                                                                                                                    …….

Shi Wudu seems utterly baffled at what he had just admitted and Shi QingXuan looking back at him equally dumbfounded. All because of their own merits? QingXuan knew it was not true. Their brother had always been the one pushing them to train, to be better, to get recognition from people if they ever expected to ascend to Heavens. Their brother was powerful and influential in Heavens in his own right, he had appointed QingXuan in the middle court and that surely helped them to carve a reputation to fully ascend later on. QingXuan was clearly in the wrong in this discussion. So why did his brother look almost ashamed of what he had said ? 

                                                                                                                                     ……. 

The towns folks were cheering as the blood flew around. 

He Xuan had never been an athletic person and he had not consumed a bite of food in five days. He only kept moving because he was motivated by his hatred and bloodlust. 

He Xuan had long lost the count of how many many of those awful men he had killed, he only knew he needed to kill more. 

In a wonderful twist of events; the boss of the bandits, the rich master of the house that had given the order for He Xuan pain, have extraordinarily come in person to collect his tribute. He was the first to receive the end of He Xuan's axe. 

The moment the man's head had flown away from his neck, shedding blood all around, had been the most wonderful moment of He Xuan life. 

As the former scholar went mad. Stabbing over and over again one of those bandits that had tormented the town for so long. 

People around cheer higher and higher.  

                                                                                                                            ……

That day Shi Wudu and Shi QingXuan silently swear to always be on each other's side no matter the circumstances. Blood thicker than any other bond. 

                                                                                                                               …….

That day, after killing any mortal that had ever hurt him, disgraced former scholar He Xuan succumbed to his injuries and died from exhaustion.   

XXII

It was far from Shi QingXuan first heavenly banquet, yet they have always loved any opportunity  to drink expensive wine and have a higher position than Pei Ming in the battle of the lanterns. 

All of the presents smiled fondly as the Wind Master came almost dancing into the Main Hall of Heavenly Capital . Even if most people dislike Shi Wudu they could not deny QingXuan grace and kindness to everyone they encounter, heavenly officials or mortals. 

A bright example of what a god should be. 

the perfect child to be blessed by the Heavens. It was impossible for any of the present to think of anyone more deserving of Godhood than the beautiful Wind Master. 

                                                                                                                                                …… 

When he had been unfairly imprisoned, long ago when he was still alive. He Xuan had to see the way dirty rats walking around his cells eat the food he was denied access to. Now He Xuan was no different to those filthy parasites. 

A deformed ghost too bitter by the circumstances of his death to be able to rest in peace. As a mortal He Xuan 's stomach had been destroyed by malnourishment, making him suffer until his last breath. That didn’t change now that he was dead, just that now he could eat other ghosts, stealing their powers. 

As a mortal it was impossible to kill the Reverend of Empty Words that had tormented and ruined his life. But as a ghost eating ghost, He Xuan could taste his revenge before it came.

He had hunted down and eaten the Reverend, it was the most disgusting feeling he had ever experienced. Worse than the feeling in his mouth that night when he had almost died from overeating in his desperation. It tasted like swallowing his own puke, what his body had already rejected and with that came all the desperation and pain that creature had caused him, forcing it back inside of him. He had also swallowed all the vomit, pain and desperation that creature had caused to others before him. He Xuan was still not satisfied. 

There was still a piece in the puzzle that didn’t fit. The elegant man that went to check He Xuan's body and smiled slightly upon realizing the poor bastard was truly dead. It didn’t make sense for such a wealthy individual to be interested in the death of a low life like He Xuan. His physical body could never be fulfilled, now He Xuan was hungry for answers, he was hungry for a reason it all had happened to him. 

Mount Tonglu had opened once again, summoning all ghosts and evil spirits that dared entering its fiery gates. He Xuan followed the trail to the Kiln at the center of the mountain, eating all unfortunate spirits that fell into his claws. 

A ghost eating ghosts doomed to never being full.

Those with heads find release, those without heads remain at unrest

Some die by gunshots, by knives; others drown or hang themselves

Some die a clear, rightful death; others die with injustice and grievances

In wealth or poverty, each must bear their own fates.