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Shepard closes his eyes, listening to the crackling and the poom-poom-poom of missiles decimating their targets. If he squeezes hard enough, he might almost trick himself into thinking they're celebratory fireworks. "We did it, Major."
"Yeah. Yeah, we did."
A long silence follows before he musters the energy to speak again. "You should've stayed back with the others."
"And miss out on the view? Nah."
"Heh. Best seats in the house, aren't they?"
They fall into another lull, until an elbow eventually nudges the commander in the side. "To the end, Shepard. I'm right here with you. Always."
Shepard reopens his eyes, his muscles protesting every movement as he twists towards Kaidan. That face. Shepard knows that look—on the Normandy as the major had overheard wild retellings of battling the Collectors and the unforgettable anecdotes during the crew's downtime; infiltrating the Cerberus base and crawling through the remains of the Human-Reaper; every subtle comment about how much time had passed since they'd last seen each other—it always reads the same way:
I wish I could've been there.
Shepard shakes his head, barely cracking a smile. "You didn't owe me anything, Kaidan. Ever."
"Maybe not. I just…" A strained grunt escapes as Kaidan attempts to inch closer. "I couldn't bear the thought of you doing this alone." He glances down, his hands shaking as he pulls them away from the gaping wound in his side. "Oh, god," he gasps, his head rolling back. "So…much…blood. Is it…is it all my blood?" His eyes dart about, searching the commander's face. "Are you…Shepard, are you bleeding?"
"Shhh, Kaidan." Goddammit, not now. You can't go into shock now. Shepard firmly cups Kaidan's chin, desperate to hold his gaze steady. "It's okay. It's okay. Stay with me." He presses their foreheads together, feeling him tremble with every shallow, haggard breath. "I'm scared shitless, too."
Kaidan fumbles for Shepard's hand, clutching it against his cheek. He nuzzles his palm as he remembers how he kissed Shepard for the first time; how happy they were.
"Shepard," he rasps. "Say…say you'll marry me."
The commander hardly recognizes his own voice as it cracks, tears stinging his eyes. "You bet your ass I will."
"Race you to the altar?"
"You're on. No cheating with biotics, though."
Kaidan sniffs back a chuckle, the warmth of his breath welcome as stubble rubs against stubble. "We'll have a house overlooking the bay. You'll be lying in the hammock reading a good book; I'll be grilling steaks on the patio…and our daughter will be playing in our huge backyard."
"Daughter?"
"Yeah. Spitfire just like you."
"If she has your eyes, we're in bigger trouble than the Reapers. She'll get away with everything."
Kaidan nearly laughs, mouth attempting to form some semblance of a grin, but it quickly deteriorates into a coughing fit. "It hurts," he pants, chest heaving. "It hurts to…"
Shepard knows that look, too.
"A-and…and later we'll tuck her in bed, kiss her goodnight…and everything…everything will be quiet. It's been too loud for so long, Shepard. Could really use another sanity check right now."
"So could I."
The gunfire begins to subside, the once-blazing fires across Earth's surface now glowing a muted red-orange. Kaidan's head tilts downward, eyes fluttering shut. A dull ache creeps up Shepard's throat as he feels the major's fingers slide out of his hand. He doesn't have the strength to grasp them again.
"Everything will finally be…quiet."