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Doves die,
Death. Angelborne dont really care about death. Why would they? When you’re in heaven you cant die by natural causes, you’re immortal. Winners, people who die and come to heaven, dont care either, unless they have a loved one whose next on the chopping list.
These conditions change however. When an angel stays on earth for longer than a thousand years, they change, biologically. From that point on, they have a hundred thousand years to live, when that time runs out, they will die of what can only be described as “old age”. And this phenomena is so rare that not a single angel has been reported to die this way. Mostly because they dont stay on earth for that long. Altair, does.
Altair has stayed on earth since, well a little after Eden. Yet Altair has stayed alive, continually, for more than a couple lifetimes. This is how she has managed to disappear out of records in heaven, with no mention of her in decades angels has stooped wondering about her, stopped reminding themselves of the Angelborne disgrace that is Alya Altair. They have better things to worry about anyways.
But whats her secret? How does this one angel manage to escape the conditions God has set for escapees? Well, she hasnt, not really. Every once in a while she’ll feel her heart pound and vision blur, a reminder of her mortal immortality. It reminds her of the metaphorical bomb in her chest, that one day it can and will stop beating. But it haven’t. Altair has friends, one specific friend can turn back time on a set subject, with no repercussions. Eon, or Goldie, and yeah you’re right; Goldie and Altair aren’t friends, far from it. But when Altair knocks on her office door, a nervous smile on her face as she tries to politely greet her without ticking the untouched seething rage that Goldie has been growing since creation; Goldie lets her in, closes the door behind them and listens to the lame excuse Altair made that time.
“So sorry if you’re busy~” Altair clasps her hands together, “I just, you know, haven’t been feeling well and, was hoping you could help me out…” she tries to put on an innocent face, knowing the answer already but she still has to sell it, right?
“Its fine, I’m almost done anyways.” Goldie doesn’t bother looking at the angel, walking back to her desk, she sits down, continuing to write. “You want me to reset your time. Right?” She glances up, Altair nods. “Yeah..” she mumbles, glancing away her gaze.
Goldie sighed, setting the pencil down as she leaned in her chair. “And when are we going to talk about it?” Altair piped up, great this was the last thing she wanted. She doesn’t want to talk about it , she never does. Altair decided to play stupid, maybe it’ll annoy Goldie just enough to let it go. “Talk about what?” She asks, looking away. Goldie scoffs. “Alya I’m not stupid. The fight. Why you left? You keep coming back here for me to reverse your death only to not even mention or apologize for leaving!” She spoke up. Altair stayed silent, something inside of her seemed to rage at the mention of an apology.
“Apologize?! You expect me to apologize?”
Altair looked at Goldie, a look of disbelief on her face.
“I’m not going to apologize for leaving this shit hole. Why should I have to put up with years of torment and suffering that I faced just to please you?”
Goldie huffed, crossing her arms.
“Alya, you don’t have to come back I just want you to apologize for the fight.”
“No! I’m not apologizing, I stand by what I said! Humans are stupid waste of time and Eden was never going to work from the start! I don’t understand how you could pour your life and energy into that stupid little project. Cant you see that earth is terrible? I would know! And dont pretend you wouldn’t, I know how cherubs are made.”
Goldie furrowed her brows, sitting up straight again
“Then why dont you come back!? If its so terrible down there than stay here!”
Altair tensed up, not entirely reminiscing her time in heaven
“You’re more powerful. I can feel it. You don’t have to put up with what you did when you were a kid.”
Goldie narrowed her eyes, trying to comfort her in any way she can.
“You’re right. Im not putting up with it. Thats why I dont fucking visit, Goldie. You think just because I have more power that suddenly means that I’m not going to be ridiculed? There isnt a whole new wave of angels, they still remember that shit and they wont let it go.”
Altair watched as Goldie stood up, walking to the front of her desk and leaning on it.
“Alya,”
Hearing that name stung Altair everytime. Its Altair. Its Altair. Its Altair. Its Altair. Its Altair. Its Altair.
“If that does happen you can tell me. I dont hate you, Alya.”
Altair looked at the floor, her hands tightening into fists. No, she couldn’t imagine that happening. Goldie, looking after her? How could she possibly ofer that after watching her get ridiculed and turning a blind eye.
She always turned a blind eye to shit she couldn’t care less about.
“ I hate you. I really really hate you.”
Altair looked up, her eyes widening as Goldie grabbed her shoulder, her fingernails cutting into Altair’s skin.
“Goldie— stop -“ her hand shot to Goldies, trying to get her to let go. Goldie’s hair fell over her face, the red stare burning holes into Altair.
“Hate me all you want Alya, I’m the only one who still knows you’re alive. You dont want me to tell Elohim, do you?”
Altair smiled nervously, trying to hide the hope in her that she wouldn’t… she wouldn’t do that.. right?
“You’re blackmailing me, now? You’re childish.”
Altair furrowed her brows, Goldie looked down, her grip on Altair loosened. Suddenly her fist shot up, a blank expression on her face as she punched Altair. Altair held her nose, pushing herself to the wall as she tried to breath. She looked up with an angry expression.
“What the fuck is your problem?!” She yelled out, her wings forced out of her back, the eyes on her wings all staring In different directions, eventually all settling on Goldie.
“They were right. You’re not an angel. You’re not even a winner. You’re nothing if not human.” Goldie took a step closer, wiping off the bit of blood on her knuckles. Altair’s expression faltered, a genuine fear settling in.
She knew, this wasnt going to be a fight she can win.
“Eon.. calm down—“
Another hit, the blood from her nose flowing quicker. Goldie held onto the base of her wings, their faces inches away.
“Calm down? You come into my office and beg me to save your life after abandoning heaven. You don’t understand the privilege you have to be an angel, you should be in heaven praising Elohim. Not down on earth committing nothing but sin. Have you no love for your creator?”
Goldie pulled her wings a small whine coming out of Altair, “You cant possibly be speaking!” She pushed Goldie off, only for her to immediately dash forwards, forcing Altairs head into the concrete walls. A yell ringed out from Altair, a pained groan as her hands shot to the back of her head.
“Fuck! Eon, what the hell is wrong with you?!”
This was the worst time to be mortal, to be on deaths door.
Altair fell to the ground as Goldie let go, holding the back of her head, she looked at her hands, her teeth grinding slightly at the sight of blood. Altair looked up, her expression nothing but mortified as Goldie took out a pristine white dagger, intricate details carved into the blade. In any other scenario an angelic blade would do nothing to an angel, but in Altairs current, weakened state, it could kill her in any way a human would die to a blade.
“Hey.. Goldie, listen come on. I know you’ve been through a lot but is it really worth it to kill me?”
She stuttered out, trying to reason with her. Goldie chuckled, her own wings extending, blocking the light.
“It doesn’t matter if you’re alive or not, nobody remembers you either way.”
Altair sighed, she knew she was right. Her hands turned to fists as she watched Goldie take a step forward; carefully Altair stood up, leaning on the wall for support as a drop of blood ran over her forehead, rolling down her nose and cheeks and falling to the ground.
No , she cant die. Not here, not now. At lease she can die a mortal death, not by the hands of someone who she once loved. Looked up to, admired.
Altair looked at Goldie again, Goldie took the blade in her hand, examining it.
“I’ve missed you Alya, really I have. You were a good student.”
Who was she kidding? Altair still loved Goldie. From the bottom of her heart she admired her.
“But you’re nothing but a parasite now.”
Goldie thrusted towards Altair, slicing her mouth open as Altair moved out of the way, spamming the door open and running. She winced at the wound, blood gushing out as he teeth became exposed from the cut. She’d worry about it later.
It had been ages since she really walked down these hallways, only occasionally did Goldie bring Altair to her office when she was still a student. Now she would just teleport in front of the door or at her living quarters. She ran down the long intricate hallways, the white walls adorned with pillars and paintings, other doors leading to more offices scattered around. A light blue and yellow rug ran along the hallway, the chandeliers above their heads shook slightly with every step Goldie took, the taller angel running a distance behind her.
Altair dashed towards a corner, her eyes looking at every name tag near the doors, eventually falling to an empty one. She ran in, shutting and locking the door behind herself. She panted, falling to the ground, the world around her was dizzy, moving at a slower pace than her body. She coughed, trying to be as quiet as she can. She sat up, still breathing ad her hand went up to wipe the dried blood from her nose.
At least now she could teleport home again. She carefully stood up, looking around the mostly empty office before her eyes glanced over a cup, a few pencils and markers in it. She took a marker, moving the red rug on the floor out of her way as she started to draw a circle, a smaller circle inside. Sigils lined the space between these two circles, eventually she stood up, putting the marker down as she took a deep breath, still panting slightly. She walked into the circle, a blue glow lining it. She closed her eyes, already knowing where she’ll appear.
She opened her eyes, looking around the abandoned house. Here eyes were tired as she sat down on the dusty red couch, leaning her head back. Rays of sun shined through the broken windows, showering the plants that had inhabited the building, slowly returning it to the nature. An old cabin in the woods off a road in Oregon, she had lived in it for a year or two while the house was newly abandoned.
She looked at her wings, between the pulling and getting crush by a wall, they werent doing entirely well, though she focused more on her head; her hand reached up to the wound, the white hair around it being stained red, a dark impure red. She sighed,, feeling her heart strain again.. it wouldn’t be long before before she passed.
Where does an angel go when it dies?
Would she go to hell? No, that would be generous.
Before hell existed, angels who misbehaved would simply stop existing. They would be erased.
Altair could only assume thats what would happen to her. Cease of life,,, completely.
She opened her eyes, reminiscing her time in this cabin. She remembered two teens who used to visit, they originally thought it was abandoned, they called themselves urban explorers.
She sighed. Remembering Yui Sasaki. Her first student. A sacrifice offered to her when she played as a demi god, some time in Heian era Japan? It seemed blurry now but the feeling of having someone look up to you the way Yui did… it was so different. She was the first sacrifice to fight for her life, or at least offer something instead of death.
She remembered Millie. Oh Millie. What did you do to me? I could never forgive her.
She reached up to her forehead feeling the healed burn of a sigil. My first love. The first person I ever really hated with my whole soul.
She heard a clock tick in the back of her mind
And keep ticking…. It didn’t stop. Altair closed her eyes. It was September 27th, 6:53 pm.
Its been a hundred thousand years exactly. Yet she still felt painfully numb, sitting on the couch as the sun set, the rays of light fading into dimness as it got darker.
She blinked, finally sitting up in one stiff movement as her brows furrowed. Her face looked almost expressionless.
She was still alive. Goldie had turned back the time on her death. Why wouldn’t she so that? Better question, why was Altair so upset about it?
Altair was scared death. Any angel might be. Theres never any sure way to not die. Something cant live forever. Thats not possible. Nothing is truly immortal.
Altair was so scared of death that she constantly visited the person she hates the second most just to keep living. Even if she has no purpose in life. Even if shes not as influential as she actually wishes to be. She hasnt done anything all too terrible, shes just kind of apathetic.
Altair started crying. She realized she wanted to die. Or rather, she was ready to die. She would be happy to never have to wake up in the morning and preen her wings, or stay up late trying to keep track of all the terrible things she’s done. Or sit in the bloody bathtub until her skin felt like a prune and until she wished the blood could ever fully drain from her body. She’d be happy knowing she would never have to look at herself in the mirror and remember the little girl that once stood in front of her; bloodied and beaten, crying as she tried to brush out her hair.
Wishing she had been assigned a family at creation.
Altair’s silent tears turned into breathless sobs, desperately wiping the tears from her eyes as her numb wings covered her body. She knew Goldie knew she couldn’t heal herself as well as she used to, before Millie anyways. She knew she wasnt as important as she wanted to be. She wasnt half as mean as she pretended to be. She wasnt half as powerful as she wished to be.
She wasnt who she wanted to be.
She was truly a terrible person.
Her sobs evened out into silent tears ago, her hands falling to her sides as she tried to heal her head. The sigil burned into her forehead glowed a light blue, stopping her from using the excessive power. A shaky hand rose up to her forehead, feeling the sigil burn as a warning. Like a shock collar on a dog.
Goldie’s POV;
Goldie watched as Altair ran into the empty office, stopping completely. She knew it wouldn’t mean much to kill her. It wouldn’t tie any loose ends or bring closure, if anything it would be shitty. Goldie put the dagger away, strapping it back into the holding on her thigh. As she saw a small light come from under the room she sighed, walking over and forcing the door open. She looked at the drawn on teleporter, her expression seemed nothing but tired. She already made up her mind to save Altair every single time she visited her since the first time. Her mind had been made ages ago. She thought that maybe it had been long enough for her to finally bring up that argument they had. She guess wrong, immediately Altair had gotten defensive, like she always would.
She sighed, placing the red rug back in place and taking the marker used. She closed the door, walking back to her own office slowly. It wasnt worth Goldie's time to kill Altair. Altair wasnt half as influential as she thought she was, she didnt really interfere with heaven’s plans ever, and she didnt know enough ‘sensitive’ information to be worth killing off.
She wasnt half as bad she thought she was. Goldie knew she couldn’t use most of her powers nowadays anyways, she noticed after Altair started having to draw the teleportation circles. And with the addition of that sigil on her forehead. There was no way to decipher it.. only really the original creators of the sigil knew what it meant. And she doubted it was Altair’s work to make herself weaker.
She opened the door to her office, closing it behind her as she walked to the desk at the end of the room , facing large windows blocked out by red blackout curtains.
She sat at her desk again, looking wt the unfinished papers. Thinking again.
Altair was a ruthless, antisocial, sinner. But she puts up that front. She kills with no remorse, the same as any angel, but when she knows she can die, well shes more worried about surviving.
Doves kill, even something small, its just nature.
And Doves die, its nature. It’s mortality.
Something every living organism is familiar with.