Work Text:
September 2013
Chris Hadfield welcomed David Bowie and his wife Iman excitedly. A reception in New York, a few miles from the singer’s house had been the perfect event for him to meet Bowie in person, or so Hadfield thought but initially Bowie had declined. To Hadfield’s delight Bowie relented when Chris had been able to promise him that the press would never know about it and that he would have opportunity to talk to Buzz Aldrin and other space veterans. That and the opportunity to visit New York’s Metropolitan Museum of Art (MOMA) after hours, with full close access to the masterpieces stored there.
Chris wasted no time and quickly took the famous couple to meet the military and NASA top brass who had been clamoring to meet the artist. Bowie and Iman had been picked up at their house by air force security and smuggled into the reception. Press on the event was under strict instructions to not take pictures of several military VIPs, and Bowie and his wife were included in the "no pictures" list. Nothing about the event ever leaked to the press but a harmless and perfunctory "NORAD planning symposium ends in a gala reception in New York’s MOMA".
All the hush hush was mainly for the newly minted "astronaut task force" division of NORAD, a project so confidential not even Chris Hadfield had known much about it. All he had been able to gleam had been from a talk he had been invited to give to the NORAD and Navy men training to be astronauts. The top 3 on that group would eventually join the ISS covertly, without anyone from Earth but the people involved knowing about it. Chris wondered how would NORAD hide that from Russia and the Europeans, as he introduced David Bowie and his wife to the men making those secret plans.
It was interesting to see one of the most famous persons on Earth meet with several of the most powerful men in the military and NASA. After Chris Hadfield had sung David Bowie’s song in orbit and got millions of views, all the NASA brass at least knew who David Bowie was and his star power on the global music world. Some were even fans and those who weren’t all had a grandkid or nephew who was so they all asked for autographs and greeted Bowie with enthusiasm. The other military men were savvy enough to imitate the NASA people and ask for autographs or treat the singer politely.
Bowie was an extraordinarily nice man, with no superstar entourage or affectations and gave autographs and shared jokes with the generals with an infectious laugh and humility that won the group over. His wife was also very charming and the dinner proceeded happily. Chris had been worried that the generals might be a bit dismissive of Bowie but that hadn’t been the case. Bowie and Iman’s charm won them over easily. So easily Chris decided to risk a rebuff and request that Bowie be allowed to meet the astronaut candidates. The younger ones had been begging him to meet Bowie and Chris wanted Bowie to meet the top candidate, Perry Newton.
"Sure, go ahead and introduce them as air force in training for orbital flights or some excuse like that. Just be silent about their actual role and about them going to the ISS" said Admiral Hayes.
"Are you sure ?" asked Hadfield surprised. He hadn’t expected it to be so easy.
"Do you have any idea how many emails and queries I’ve had from the men asking to meet Bowie ? He seems like a charming fellow, and very discrete. I’d say give the men some moral boost." answered the Admiral smiling
After dinner Chris approached Bowie and asked if he wouldn’t mind meeting some friends of his who had been clamoring for an introduction.
"And I have two surprises for you and Iman. Well the first one I think it is a surprise, I’m not sure what you will make of it" said Chris
David cocked his head in puzzlement but followed Chris to a table far away from the top brass, with Iman by his side. He had had a pleasant chat with Buzz Aldrin and some other NASA veterans and was wondering if the offer to see the MOMA collection up close would materialize. Perhaps that was the surprise ?
It wasn’t. As David and Iman approached the table they immediately saw what Chris meant. On the head of the table sat another David Bowie, with silvery gray eyes and with salt and pepper hair in a stylish and very familiar haircut. The man looked a bit younger on his late 40s, but other than that he was almost a mirror image of Bowie. Iman looked at David surprised. It was like seeing double, except the double didn’t have David’s charming smile.
"David, let me introduce you to Major Tom, I mean Major Perry Newton, from the air force’s orbital program. People tend to say he looks a bit like you" said Hadfield smugly
Perry Newton stood up to greet his idol, shaking David Bowie’s hand warmly.
"Don’t pay attention to them. I could never fill your shoes and couldn’t sing if my life depended on it" said Newton finally smiling.
"That’s not what the people in Afghanistan say" said a short redheaded man behind them. "I seem to recall you were quite fond of singing "Alabama song" while stationed there" added the red head.
""Well I said I can’t sing, I didn’t say I never tried to, Lee" said Perry. "And that was only after 3 or 4 bottles of whiskey.. Afghan whiskey to boot. I can still feel the hangovers" chuckled Perry making a sign for the couple to sit and join them for dessert
"Me too! Could only sing that song on Berlin after finding the next whiskey bar" said Bowie amiably.
"Would you like some ? We can ask the waiter.." asked Perry solicitously
"I don’t drink anymore.. I don’t do a lot of what I used to do on Berlin anymore.. It was a crazy period of my life" said Bowie rolling his eyes.
"Me neither. I wouldn’t have left Afghanistan alive if I didn’t stop" said Perry with a somber look
"Same here mate. I was at a low point when I was younger. I’m glad it is past" said David smiling at Perry. "Say, you do look a lot like me. How come ?" he added
"Well people have always said I look a bit like you, so i tried to look the part for today’s reception." said Perry
"You certainly succeeded in surprising us. Most people go for the thunderbolt makeup and miss the rest of the details" said David
"I apologize, I would have but the military frowns on red hair and makeup so I wasn’t able to make a better homage. I also am told that yellow suits are not part of my allowed civilian wardrobe so I had to make do with a suit and black tie. Only thing I was able to get away with was getting my precociously whitening hair cut in the same cut you wore at your Reality tour" said Newton sheepishly.
"Oh don’t be embarrassed mate, I’m flattered. I never imagined I’d meet a double on the heart of the military" added David chuckling. "Besides people are correct, you do look a lot like me, doesn’t he Iman ?" added David
"He does! Is like looking at twins" said Iman shaking Perry’s hand and taking a sit by David.
"Well that was part of the surprise.. The other part you will get when you get home, right Perry ?" asked Chris
"Shh.. Yes but ixnay for now, if Lee hears about it he will stop it" said Perry in a low voice. with a louder voice he added "Chris tells me he promised you a private view of the MOMA, would you like to do it now ? I can escort you, I’m quite fond of some art pieces here" he added.
"Yes, that would be lovely. Are you joining us Chris ?" asked Bowie
"Sure, I’d love to" said Chris
"Lee, you coming ?" asked Perry
"Nah, you go ahead, I have a date with some cigars now" said Lee, excusing himself from what he thought would be a boring tour of moldy art and arty talk.
As they walked through the art museum Perry told David and Iman that he and Chris had managed to smuggle a small moon rock from the tons NASA had and were planning to give it to Bowie when he got to his house.
"If we give it to you here people might notice. At your house you can easily say it is from your child’s rock collection, no one will be the wiser" said Perry
"How would I know it is really from the moon then ?" asked David
"Measure the age, oxygen content or hydration. The moon has no atmosphere and no water so rocks there form very dry crystals and have no air pockets. Also, the rock we got you is 4.5 million years old measured by carbon dating. There are no rocks on Earth that old" said Perry smugly
"Won’t you two get in trouble for this ?" asked Iman
"Nah. I cleared it with the museum staff. They just don’t want every big guy hearing about it tonight and pestering them for samples…" said Perry
"I appreciate it very much. My son will love to see it too. Am I allowed to tell my family about it ?" asked David
"Oh that’s right, your son made that brilliant movie about the moon! Please tell your son I’m a fan. Yes, you are allowed to tell them, But only close family, please." said Perry as they walked around the art museum looking at the paintings and sculptures.
"You watched Moon ?" asked Perry surprised
"Not surprisingly, I’m a bit biased towards astronaut movies. We all are around here, I wasn’t the only one who enjoyed Moon around here. Duncan Jones’ indy movie was very good. It is amazing what he managed to do, looked quite real, and that on a indie movie budget. " said Perry excitedly.
"I am sure Duncan will be pleased to hear.. If I can mention it to him" said Bowie
"Yes of course, just don’t give my name, say "a guy from NASA" and you are fine" said Perry
"Perry here is kind of a state secret" said Chris
"How come ?" asked David
"Oh I can see you have little experience with US military. Everything is a secret to us. If you don’t need to know something then you won’t know it. We won’t even confirm or deny it is raining outside unless you are in the "need to know" list said Perry chuckling.
"The main reason is silly really. I’m navy and the world is not supposed to know people from navy are getting this sweet astronaut training right now. As politics go, this is an air force area nowadays.. Turf wars can be intense around here" added Perry rolling his eyes
Chris Hadfield’s eyes bulged at hearing Perry mention the astronaut training.. that was confidential.. ah well, it wasn’t his fault and he doubted Bowie would care about it enough to repeat it anyway.
"You mentioned you have some favorites around here. What kind of art do you like ?" asked Bowie a little bit later.
"Well I’m still a novice in art. Van Gogh and the impressionists were my first discovery, when I learned to appreciate the emotion, not the accuracy of paintings. I’m slowly venturing out of that. Magritte used to look like rubbish to me but now I can really appreciate the creativity and depths behind it." said Newton
"A honest man. Most try to bamboozle me with names without having any idea of the art behind it" said Bowie. "Once you start appreciating the emotional power of a piece, then you truly connect with art. Nowadays I am really enjoying this guy" said Bowie pointing to a painting with a misshapen oddly colored human.
"Ah.. I can see the emotional power, as you say, but I’m afraid my background as a soldier makes it hard for me to truly like it. It reminds me of war" said Perry
"What about you Chris ? Do you like it ?" asked Iman
"I… have to agree with Perry.. I can see it’s intensity but no, it isn’t something I’d have at my office" answered Chris. "What about you ? " he asked Iman
"I’m very partial to this painter and some sculptors and some of the paintings David likes. Not all" said Iman smiling.
They explored around the museum, discussing the pieces and some of the little Perry could talk about the low gravity training he and his men were doing. Bowie was a gifted storyteller and entertained them with stories about his friends in show business while Iman talked excitedly about her work with fashion designers to increase diversity on the high fashion world .
"So designers stopped hiring black models ? How come ?" asked Chris
"I don’t think it was intentional but the fact remains that there are fewer black models now than there were before and it is a shame. There are so many talented women around!" said Iman passionately
"We at the space community need to do something similar. They have been adding more women astronauts but we are sorely lacking black astronauts. And the only other ethnic minorities we get are thanks to the ISS being an international collaboration. I should probably mention something like that on my next meeting. Like you said, it is a shame! We have very talented minority scientists" said Perry
Time passed fast with the animated conversation but an hour later, Iman saw how David was tired and asked to be brought back home, as she was exhausted. The air force security men that brought her and David smuggled them back home, with one of them giving them a small sealed box when they arrived home. "With the compliments of Major Newton and Captain Hadfield" said the man winking and leaving.
A few days later, Bowie asked his assistant Coco to get Perry’s email to send a thank you note for the small moon rock. A ragged Coco came to him two days later with the email.
"Here. Who IS this guy ? Finding his email, heck getting confirmation he even exists was next to impossible! Luckily Chris Hadfield had it or I’d have to come back to you empty handed" said Coco
"That would be a first! You always deliver! He’s just some pilot I met on the reception Iman and I went last week. He and Chris gave me a very nice gift and I’d like to send them a thank you note" answered David
"A gift ? Do you want to store it to your collection ?" asked Coco
"Nah, I’ll hold on to it. No one can know I have a small moon rock" said David pulling it out of his drawer and showing it to Coco
"David… Do you have any idea the value of one of those ?" asked Coco impressed
"No. Are they valuable ?" asked Bowie
"They are! I tried to get you one for your 50th birthday.. They go for about 1 million dollars, if you can find one!" said Coco
"You are joking! Seriously ? It must be a fake then. Chris and Perry don’t strike me as millionaires" said Bowie disappointed
Regardless of it being legitimate or not, David appreciated the effort and sent an email to Perry Newton, and one to Chris Hadfield thanking them for the gift. Perry answered the email
"Lee will have a conniption if he sees you got my navy email. Please use this one if you want to talk to me without getting him and my employer involved. By the way, great hearing from you -- Perry" said on his reply email
Bowie looked and chuckled: the cheeky guy gave David an email on Bowie’s own web service: "[email protected]"
"That’s some nerve using my own email service. I didn't know you were at bowienet!" answered Bowie to the new email
"I thought you would appreciate the humor of it. I wasn’t at bnet regrettably. I was at Bosnia, then Afghanistan. But a trusted friend of mine was and she gave me her email when I mentioned I could get her an autograph. I don’t suppose you would consider sending her one a terrible thing to ask ?" answered Perry
"Not at all. Where should I send it ?" answered Bowie
"Care of Claudia Barrow at Gramercy hospital, Soho NY. She is a nurse there" answered Perry
"I’ll have my assistant send her something" said David, adding "about your email, I can give you a new email on my server so your friend can get her own back, if you want" added Bowie
"That would be lovely. She is a big fan of yours and only parted with her email under a lot of begging from my part" answered Perry adding a smiley
"All right. I’ll send you a note as soon as your new email gets created. pnewton@bowienet good enough ?" asked Bowie
"Nah, something harder to trace to me. Anything you come up with is fine" answered Perry.
"[email protected]" ? "For the man who gave me a space rock" said David
Say, my assistant told me those moon rocks are pretty pricey. Are you sure you won’t get in trouble for this ?" asked David yet again
"I’m sure. The gift wasn’t just from me and Chris. A lot of us at NASA and the space field grew up listening to Life on Mars and dreaming of being Major Tom. You have a lot of fans on the museum staff and on the space community. If it puts you more at ease, I’ll have the NASA museum send you a certificate of authenticity and a little confirmation it was given to you legitimately." said Perry
"I didn’t mean to sound ungrateful or like I’m doubting you, my apologies" said David
A few days later Coco brought David a small package from Cape Canaveral with a beautiful plaque dedicating the moon rock to David Bowie, a Starman among the talented people in the world.
"I’ll be damned, the rock was legit! We have to put it in a vault David" said Coco looking at David surprised. She got even more surprised when she noticed how David was touched with the gift.
Bowie told coco he was very touched with the homage. What had been more special to him is that the rock and the plaque had been given to him in secret with no press, by the people who did the real work at NASA, not by some politician trying to win favors. And just like his French commendation, he hadn’t needed to go to an award ceremony and be paraded around in the press. He got it through the post office! The rock and the small plaque were proof of the high esteem the people who worked with space flight had for Bowie.
"You deserve every bit of it. You changed the life of many a pimple faced geek who went into NASA later. This is proof" said Coco squeezing his hand in support.
David smiled thankfully. "Yes perhaps the vault is a safer place for it" he added
Later in the week Perry got an email from David thanking him for the NASA museum plaque and telling Perry his new email
"It wasn’t just from me, remember ? I merely made it easier for the rock to make it’s way to you" said Perry
"Well thanks for your and Chris part in getting it to me then. It was very touching" answered David. "Did your friend get her autographed photo ?" he asked
"She did indeed, many thanks, she is happy as a clam" answered Perry.
After that Perry emailed Bowie to congratulate him on his new 2013 album and just got a polite reply so he just stopped emailing. The singer was obviously busy with other issues and so was Perry with all the preparations for his 2016 mission on the ISS.
January 2015
Two years later, on 2015 rnwp told him the email administrator at bowienet had emailed her asking for the other user on her account.
rnwp: "Why on earth did you have to use my email ? I hope you didn’t get me in trouble!"
majortom: "Did he mention you were in trouble ?"
rnwp: "No but he knew that someone else had used my account 2 years ago"
majortom: "I told you, if I used my military email I would be in a lot of hot water"
rnwp: "If I lose my bowienet email I’ll kill you. I’ll find you and kill you, just like Liam Neeson did"
majortom: "You and whose army ? Aren’t you just 5 ft 4 ? I can pick you up and put you in my knees to spank you instead"
rnwp: "Pfft.. the tallest trees fall harder. You just watch me!"
majortom: "Cheer up. I can promise you won’t be in trouble"
rnwp: "Heh.. OK, you did get me a legit Bowie autograph so I’ll trust you. I hope you are right"
Perry thought he had lost all contact with Bowie so he had forgotten his old password. Luckily he kept all his old accounts saved on a digital wallet. As he looked up his old credentials and logged into his bowienet email he was greeted with 3 messages from David, all from the day before saying "please call me"
Perry sent an email right away from his bowienet email. "Call where ?" He wished he was in New York. As it was, from Houston he was surrounded by military and his ability to send unsecure internet emails or calls was very small.
He got an immediate reply "Can you skype ? -- David"
"Not right now, I’m at Houston AF base on a confidential mission. I can manage this weekend. Add majortom2012 to your skype, I’ll accept your invite when I can." answered Perry puzzled.
Perry was surprised. What would David Bowie want with him with all that urgency ? Was it really Bowie ? Well skype would take care of that question. But what did the singer want with him after all this time ?
"Thanks. I hope I haven’t spooked you. I just need a twin brother rather urgently and you are the only one I know that can pass for one and is trustworthy - D" answered the email.
That answer puzzled Perry even more. When Saturday arrived he declined to go play pool with Lee and stayed on his flat, firing up Thor and all his proxies, as he logged into his civilian skype account. He had gotten it to chat with rnwp but had chickened out at the last minute, never giving her his handle. Now he waited impatiently for it to load, to talk to David.
The invite from "sailor" came and he accepted and soon David started a conversation.
sailor: "Thank you for answering. I need your help. Just for a day. On a video, being me"
majortom:"I may look a bit like you. But I can’t sing. Or dance. Or act remotely like you."
sailor: "You can do it better than I can. Mind if we use camera ?"
majortom:"No, I don’t mind. This way I can confirm it is you"
sailor: "Ah military men.. Suspicion and secrets"
majortom:"Force of habit, sorry"
sailor: "No need to apologize"
As the video call connected Perry found himself face to face with David Bowie. Bald. Thin and pale, with no eyebrows. Cancer ? Chemo for sure.
"David.. I had no idea.. Of course I will help, if I can. what do you need me to do ?" said Perry solicitously. The singer looked sick but upbeat.
"I might not need your help.. If chemo works, I’ll be fine soon and can perform all the videos for my new album. Just one or two videos, shouldn’t be bad. But if it doesn’t work and I’m bed ridden.. I would still like to make the videos.. I need a double. Someone I can trust. someone who can keep secrets and can’t be bought, not even for a million dollars" said David
"Hehehe. Did you get your rock appraised ? It’s worth more than that, it’s from the oldest area on the moon. But to us at NASA it is priceless. And you deserved every ounce of it" said Perry smiling gently
"No need to butter up a sick man. I’m the one needing your help remember ? Flattery will get you nowhere" answered David laughing
"Oh that’s right! But you don’t need to butter me up either, I’ll do all I can to help. When do you need me ? I’m on Houston pretty much until September. Then on 2016.. I .. can't talk about it.. but I won’t be available at all, not even for skype.. email perhaps" said Perry
"ISS right ? I have my contacts.. " said Bowie and as Perry looked at him surprised he added "You would be amazed what a Bowie autograph can do…"
"Lee would have three redheaded kids if he knew you know about ISS" said Perry smiling. "Yes, that is where I’ll be and it will be very hard to do any unsecured transmissions from there. I might get away with email though. But I can’t talk about it, I’m terribly sorry" he added
"Never mind, your secrets are yours. As you can see I have plenty of my own. September or October works fine. Mind if I call my album producers to have a look at you right now ? They didn’t believe me when I say I have a twin" said David
"No, go ahead. Whatever you need David. If it’s not when I’m on duty, I’m yours" said Perry touched by the singer’s request.
Two males joined the call and started talking
"Oh my God you weren't tripping. This guy really is your twin. How did you find him ?" asked Tony Visconti
"Never mind that. What is your agent’s number ? How do we hire you ?" asked Robert Fox
"No agent. Navy, US navy. You can’t hire me, sorry. But I’ll be glad to do anything you need from me, for free to help David. Provided it doesn’t interfere with my duties" said Perry
"He’s an astronaut, like Chris Hadfield. That’s how I found him, Chris introduced him to me and Iman" said David chuckling weakly
"Officially I’m just an air force pilot for low gravity low orbit shuttles. For this new unit on the air force" said Perry.
"Air force ? Didn’t you just say you are navy ?" asked David
"Now NASA but officially I don’t exist or to the few people who know of me, I’m air force.. It’s complicated.. As anything that involves Uncle Sam, there are tons of red tape involved" answered Perry
"International Man of Mystery then" said David
"Hey, you are the one with the British accent! " said Perry laughing
"When can we count on you then ?" asked Fox
"David was telling me you guys need me in September or October ? That works for me, I’m on R&R - you civilians call it vacation - from September to November, then another additional 20 days for the holidays. But I’m not free at all on 2016 or before September" he added
"Yeah, those are the dates. We might not need you. We are hoping David’s chemo will work and all this will just be a bad memory soon. But it is nice to know we have an option to make the videos if David is still too weak" said Fox
"Did you tell your friends I can’t sing or dance ?" asked Perry
"You wouldn’t need to.. We can get the video director to animate something.. or make you static. All you would need to do is look the part, which you already do, better than David. You have hair." added Tony
"Gray hair. And different colored eyes" said Perry
"Easily dealt with by our makeup crew and some contact lenses" said Fox
"Whatever you need I’ll do then. I’ll be on vacation, I can tell my mates I’ll go jet skiing or rafting in NY. Lee hates skiing and any other guy my unit would not dare fall and break a leg so close to our deployment on.. never mind. Point is I can make sure I’m alone in New York by the dates you need me" said Perry
"You can bring your nurse friend if you want" said David
"I .. can’t.. she doesn’t know I’m me. I had to keep her in the dark, she can’t know my name or rank. She barely knows my handle "majortom" on yahoo. I didn’t even dare skype with her yet" said Perry sighing
"You should, she is a looker. I visited Gramercy the other day and looked for her when I was there. She is gorgeous, though quite young" said David winking
"I know.. she is barely 22. You wouldn’t know talking to her, she is so mature.. I lost my nerve when I found out.. And I can’t really add anyone to my life right now, I’ll be deployed from 2016 to 2018 so it is a moot point..." said Perry
"Take it from me, don’t waste the little time you have on this earth. If you find love go for it" said David
"I.. I will think about it.. After 2018. It’s not fair to her to get her involved with someone who will be unavailable for 2 years.. But I will help you. That I can do before I travel" said Perry
"Far above the world.." sung David being interrupted by a strategic cough from Perry
"Ok, please keep an eye on your email at bowienet then. I’ll let you know how my chemo turns out" said Bowie ending the call
Later that night Perry saw the green dot on David’s profile indicating David was online. He thought about it and posted a small text message to it.
majortom:"I’m sorry to have interrupted your lovely song. I wanted very much to hear it but the ISS information is extremely confidential. Also, I’m so sorry to hear about your illness. I wish it all gets resolved soon"
sailor: "Can’t sleep either ?"
majortom:"Can but was watching a movie my fellow troop mates would hate. A documentary about South Africa’s slums"
sailor: "Curious choice for an astronaut"
majortom:"Well that was after Avengers and Captain America. I needed something more real to balance all that fluff ;) "
sailor: "One can only take so much jingoism.. I would think Captain America was a mandatory viewing at navy bases"
majortom:"Lol. You sound like rnwp. We in the military are not all brainwashed idiots, you know ?"
majortom:"I even watch Moore, Tarantino and Clooney. I just loved his use of your song on Inglorious Basterds"
sailor: "I liked it too. I’m glad I wrote that song ;) "
majortom:"So am I. I might not know much about museum art but I know enough to know you are a very gifted artist"
sailor: "I told you flattery won’t get you anywhere.. ;) "Let’s make a deal. I don’t ask about ISS and you don’t remind me of my old songs"
majortom:"Fair enough. must be annoying as hell"
sailor: "I get that people love my old stuff but I’m really excited about my new stuff. It’s coming up nicely on studio. You will see"
majortom:"Any hints ? What is it about ?"
sailor: "Need to know, remember ? Us civilians also have our secrets"
majortom:"My apologies. The fan in me got carried away. Heaven knows I have my own secrets"
sailor: "Funny you mention heaven. It might have some heaven / earth vibe to it"
majortom:"Interesting! Can’t wait to hear it"
sailor: "It’s not just the secret thing you know ? Sometimes even I don’t know where my music will lead.. But whatever it ends up being about I’m pretty sure someone on the internet will say it’s about the devil or 9/11 or something whacky"
majortom:"/groan. Aren’t those idiots special ? I tried helping them once, but they weren’t interested in facts"
sailor: "Really ? How come ? Mind if we continue this on video ? My wrists are getting sore from typing"
majortom:"Not at all"
As the video call started Perry saw David had a beanie hat and some nice silk chinese robes.
"Sorry it is so dark here. I’m trying to not wake up Iman and my daughter" said David
"You were telling me you tried to help conspiracy nutters ? Why ?" added David
"Well, let’s just say I was somewhat close with the brass in Bosnia, which were Clinton’s men. They were very opposed to the Iraq war and the BS used to sell it. So I tried to gently steer some of the WMD truthers towards something productive, instead of conjectures about Cheney drinking the blood of virgins or infants. Didn’t win me any friends" said Perry
"Which one does he drink ? ;)" asked Bowie
"Puppies.. and I’m pretty sure his heart is crafted with the tongues of sweet kittens" answered Perry
"Tell me about it. That guy has had more heart attacks than Sarah Palin’s plastic touch ups. I had just one and I’m almost needing a cane" said David
"I wouldn’t know, the Bush White House wasn’t very impressed with me.. They did their best to get rid of me after I made Bush soil his skivvies" said Perry
"You what ? Do tell !" answered David chuckling
"Remember the "mission accomplished" fiasco ? I was the guy who landed Bush’s plane on the naval carrier, while he strutted around like an idiot with his parachute between his legs pretending he did it." said Perry
"I remember… Do go on" said David
"Well it was a very challenging landing so they needed me, a "Clinton man" to do it, to land without any mishaps while piloting the navy jet with an idiot on board. Then Bush climbs out of the jet claiming he did some of the flying, jumping out of the cockpit in glory. The idiot was so clueless he didn’t even strap his gear right. His parachute ended up as a huge bulge between his legs, useless in an emergency.." said Perry
"I remember… It was hilarious" said David
"And enervating. Had we had any mishaps he would be launched in the air with no parachute. I was livid when I saw it. I decided to teach him a lesson. Before we headed back I made sure he strapped his parachute on safely, then took him back in style.. He wanted to pose as a pilot ? Well then he would fly as one. I did a rollover and he went white. The fliers escorting us radioed and I told them the President had decided to do some of the flying. Vain as Bush was, he didn’t dare tell them the truth. After the 3rd rollover or vertical climb he was yellow and begging me to just land anywhere in sight, and a foul smell was emanating from his breeches. He was furious!" said Perry
"LOL, omg that is funny! So what happened ?" asked David
"He wanted to court martial me but that would involve telling the truth as to who was piloting the plane during the rollovers.. So he just made sure my career in the military take a beating… His men tried to send me to Iraq as ground troops but my piloting record and my friends managed to divert that to a high risk post on Afghanistan doing air support to the mountain operations. Very risky, which I’m sure codpiece boy liked, but otherwise somewhat enjoyable. At least I was part of an international unit and wasn’t dropping napalm in any villages. Not much anyway :( " said Perry
"I read about that. I thought the new napalm was only used in Iraq" said David
"Mostly. Some of the mountain tribes were pretty rough on our troops though so eventually some of the nasty ammo made it’s way for us to deploy against the rebels" said Perry
"And you dropped it ? On civilians ?" asked David shocked
"I tried not to.. to throw it so it would hit the mountain, not people. Tried to make sure most of the ammo got accidentally lost on route.. But ..in a war.. people I knew, friends, were dying.. and here I was trying to spare the places where the killers came from." said Perry
"Still no excuse to hit civilians" said David
"Believe me, I know. I’m not proud of my time there, the fight to survive and save friends.. Guess that’s where the drinking came from.. I couldn’t live with what I had become when I was there" said Perry
"I can see why" said David
"The ironic thing is that people give you, a singer, a hard time for clothes you wore, or words you said, or a salute.. all the while thousands of America’s best and brightest are out there being told by politicians to just bomb bomb bomb Iran, Iraq or any other place full of civilians... And those who say those idiotic things are treated as heroes" said Perry bitterly
David relented. "I’m sorry if I sounded too hard on you. Getting close to death myself, I can sort of see how surviving, and ensuring the wellbeing of your friends and loved ones can speak higher than anything else." said David
"You are being polite, but thank you. I shouldn’t have burdened you with my issues. I’m sorry. You have so much to deal with and here I am telling you sob stories" said Perry
"Nah it helps. I don’t know how you soldiers do it, live at death’s door so to speak. I’ve been in the same place for a few months and it sucks. It is good to know you get guilt and anger and escapism, just like we normal folks do" said David
"You are not giving up, are you ? You are going to beat this. I’m sure of it. Even if I have to steal Cheney's daily injections of puppy blood" said Perry
"Oh that! It reminds me.. When you talked about Bush’s bulge. Do you think he did it on purpose ? I have been accused of doing something similar." said David
"Nah, he was too much of a coward to fly without a parachute just to look well endowed. He was just an idiot! But you on the other hand… Do tell, with you, was it on purpose ?" asked Perry
"Lol, nah, I’m not that vain and the movie studio wouldn’t stand for it either. What happened was that the puppets had hard wooden noses bobbing about .. my nether parts.. all the time in the scenes and once one of those hit me I demanded a cup. I wasn’t about to be hit "there" day in and day out… And the rest is history as they say… the cup was more successful and is more memorable than my character ;) " said David
"LOL, indeed. rnwp made me watch Labyrinth with her, she said I’m her starman..- I hope you don’t mind.. - But that cup.. I was hit with lots of inadequacy feelings at seeing it!" said Perry winking
"I not only don’t mind but also love that my music has inspired lovers throughout the years. Is one of the things that keeps me wanting to keep on composing.. How did you two meet ?" asked David
"In a political forum.. I told you I tried to help the anti war people. I ended up staying in the forums, but changed my handle to "major tom" which sounded appropriate for an astronaut fan of your music.." said Perry
"And she was there too ?" asked David
"After I got back to US, she was. One day I was visiting my old haunts and i read this great post about Global Warming, one I could finally understand and stand behind. I started posting on her page. rnwp was this fiery idealist that wanted to boot Obama to get US more democratic, single payer, eco friendly, all at once… We clashed heads a lot but she kept on intriguing me.. and the music.. she is a fan of yours.. we had that in common.. she is also very kind hearted and also someone who grew up an orphan like me… She is so smart and well read. She is the one who got me into Van Gogh and Magritte and Dr Who and so much more…" said Perry
"Buddy you fallen for this girl" said David
"I used to think so. But then I found out she is half my age. And I got more involved on the ISS thing. I just could not do that to her. Commit to her then disappear for 2 years or more ? So I tried to cool us off. And it worked, she now has a male roommate and we are just friends. I wish I hadn’t been so good at it.. But it’s too late for anything romantic between us. Friendship is good enough though. I’m not so good at love" said Perry
"I hear you. I used to be very scared of it myself. but it is absolutely worth the risk, if you want my opinion. My life.. I didn’t used to care so much about being alive.. but now with Iman and my kids.. I need to be here for them" said David
"I think every soldier understands that feeling… being alive is not all it’s cracked up to be, but if you have friends or family it is worth it. So you risk your life for them, to keep your loved ones protected.. Or for humanity, when you have no one, like me. I want to be a force of good for the little people. So I’m going to put myself in a sardine can and … do a lot of dangerous stuff.. for them all" said Perry
"This thing you are doing.. is not another war, is it ?" asked David
"Oh no, I’m done with that. Only life I’ve known is in the military, only family I’ve had is the navy. But I’ll leave if I ever have to hurt innocent people again. I’ve had it. Thank heavens I still had some friends in high places that got me a place involving NASA when I cleaned up. Never again" said Perry
"Can you say anything about it ?" asked David
"I can’t but David, don’t worry yourself with it. It is not a war, is something good. Very secret and very dangerous but me and my mates will get it done or die trying. Nothing bad will happen to Earth on my watch" said Perry. "And US isn’t the only one committed to it. Russia and Europe are in too. It is a worldwide effort" said Perry
"That doesn’t sound as comforting as you would think" said David
"Well then get yourself better and stay around to watch us. I promise I’ll tell you what it is one day, when I can. I might even get some scientist to name something after you, if you promise to stick around doing your music" said Perry
"I promise.. I better try to get some sleep now before Iman wakes up and scolds me.. Pleasure chatting with you" said David
"Same here David. If you ever find yourself wanting an ear to talk late at night, I’m around. I can’t always talk so frankly about politics or my mission but when I’m at base I’d love to hear more about your views on good books, movies or art. I want to impress rnwp for a change." said Perry
"Will do.. I’ll email you some good book suggestions that are sure to impress your nurse lady" said David
David kept on emailing Perry some book, movie and art suggestions all through summer. They also chatted once or twice. Pretty soon it was September and Perry asked if they would still need him
September 2015
"Will you still need me ? I'm about to go on vacation" said Perry on an email
"I’m in remission and much better, so probably not. But I still tire easily and my hair is just getting back to a normal look. Fox and Tony still want you to come to the studio and meet the video director and do some screen tests, just in case I get too tired to shoot both videos." said David
"Anything you want. When do you need me ? Where should I go ?" asked Perry
"I’ll have my assistant Coco schedule the details. Do you need a place to stay ?" asked David
"Nah, Lee has family in NY and they let me use their chalet near the whitewater rafting place I’m officially going to. I’ll be fine. I’ll rent a car. Traffic in NY can’t be worse than landing a navy jet from the back seat with a clown on the pilot seat" said Perry
"It just might. Traffic here is crazy! If you need a ride just let Coco know. You can also expense the car rental." said David
"And waste the opportunity to put your tax dollars to work for something other than war ? Never! I’ll be fine David, I’m not rich but I do ok" said Perry
"I wouldn’t know. My spies barely found your name and email.. You must be doing something pretty hairy, the secrecy around you is unbelievable" said David chuckling
"Not me.. This ISS thing. It’s for a good cause I promise you. and it pays well" aid Perry smiling
"Ok, but if you want any payment just let Coco know. I’m not a pauper myself" said David
"Some concert tickets if you ever tour again… That i’d take.. Other than that you can’t tempt me enough. It’s all free, although I won’t complain if you feed me while I’m there" said Perry
"Sure thing ? What do you military types eat ? Raw potatoes peeled by grunts ?" asked David cheekily
"Nah just the heart of cheeky liberals, sauteed with Jon Stewart tears" answered Perry winking
October 2015
By mid October Perry showed up at the address Coco had given him, dressed on a black leather coat and black jeans, his hair cut like 2003 Bowie. He could hear audible gasps by people on the studio as he walked inside and took his motorcycle helmet off.
"You must be joking! You are his spitting image!" said Coco as she welcomed Perry into the studio
"Just the looks.. no sound or vision" said Perry
"The sense of humor is similar at least" she said winking and bringing Perry inside. The video crew was resting getting ready for another take when Perry came in. The video director did a double take at seeing him
"Wow David, you weren‘t kidding. You have a twin" said John Renk, the video director
"Crew, this is Perry Newton an air force pilot who has agreed to be my "body double" on those videos. We have been friends for years, you can imagine why.. I’ve always told him i might need his looks for a video and he has agreed to join us now that I called" said David
"Hi David #2" said the makeup girl, in which she got copied by the rest of the crew. The entire studio was calling Perry Newton as David#2 by the end of the day.
After makeup and contact lenses Perry looked so much like a younger David it was eerie. Renk complained
"Martha see if you can age him a bit. He looks too young to be David" said Renk
After some deliberate aging makeup Perry Newton was indeed David#2, so much so that Iman almost jumped in surprise when she joined them for lunch.
"David.. this is uncanny.. I thought I had double vision.. I’m glad you have some tattoos so I can tell you two apart" she joked
"A pale copy miss, no more than that. Give us a microphone and you can tell us apart immediately" said Perry
"You know, you have been saying that since i’ve met you. You can’t sing so badly. Come on, let’s hear it" said David
"Hear what ?" asked Perry
"Moon of Alabama" said David
"You are not telling me I will have to sing Bowie in front of Bowie, are you ? And sober to boot!" said Perry
"Oh come on Perry, just this once. I’m curious now. I’ll get you your tickets… " said David
"Fine.. you found my weak spot.. Now ?" asked Perry
"Now" said David
"Very well.. you asked for it.." said Perry and started singing in a low voice
"Oh show me the next.. "
"Louder"
"Oh moon of Alabama…" sung Perry, this time with more confidence, with a good voice, singing like he sang on Afghanistan coming back from the bars
"That’s the terrible singing ?" asked Martha. "Honey that is good singing!" she added when Perry finished
"Well of course.. I’m imitating a master" said Perry sheepishly
"Good grief you can sing decently too" said Fox. "Perry, I wish you would join our team, seriously."
"I can’t. I’m really sorry, as I told you before, I’m available for free for anything David needs, but only when I’m not on duty." said Perry sadly.
"Never mind Robert. Perry can’t. Perry, I know you want to mate. You are being very helpful" said David
"Now tell me, whitewater rafting, driving a kawasaki in New York transit.. You do this to relax from flying jets ? Do you have a death wish or something ?" asked David
"Nah, just didn’t want to stay cooped up in a car for too long. And rafting is one of the few things I learned to do and had fun doing before I joined the navy so it brings me good memories" answered Perry
"I’m happy I got you impressed for a change!" said Perry. You always make me impressed with your talent and courage, thought Perry but he didn’t say it aloud.
"Yes, Senpai noticed you" said David winking, making everyone chuckle, including Perry.
The rest of the day went fast, and pretty soon Perry was back at Houston. He was really glad he had been able to help but his help had not been needed. Bowie looked well and on his way to recovery.
November 2015
A few weeks later Perry saw Bowie online, late at night
majortom:"Can’t sleep again ? Go rest with your gorgeous wife mate.. I know you are better but you need to pace yourself"
sailor: "I’m not. I’m not better."
majortom:"You serious ?"
sailor: "Deadly serious.. literally. Doc gave me a month to live. It came back Perry.. all over"
majortom:"Mate.. Hang in there. One month or one hour, use all you got to stay longer with your loved ones.. Those doctors don’t know shit"
sailor: "Can you do something for me ?"
majortom:"Anything"
sailor: "Tell me your mission"
majortom:"Aww hell… Lee if you are reading this go fuck yourself, I’m telling him.."
Perry started a videocall, which David answered with a dark screen, just voice
"Fine. There’s a comet in a collision course with Earth 35 years from now. Like the movie. I’m going to land on it and blow it to shit, just like the movie. If I fail another team will try. we will keep trying every 6 months until we destroy the blasted thing. We have 70 chances to save Earth and we will" said Perry
"You will land ? But how… You are not coming back are you ?" asked David
"No, it is impossible, even if I survived the blast, there’s no fuel or air or food to keep me alive or bring me back. It’s a one way trip." said Perry
"This is bullshit. They don’t need a pilot, they landed a robot on a comet already" said David angrily
"It’s not just landing. We need to put the explosives deep into the comet or they will be useless. And we are using robots too.. in 2016 a superdrone will take pictures and survey the asteroid and in 2017 I will land a superdrone on the asteroid and drop supplies for my 2018 mission" said Perry
"And you will go die alone in a space rock ?" asked David
"Lee is coming, we are going in teams of 2. Whoever survives the landing, does it’s best to set the explosive charges and blast it. If we both survive then we spend a week setting charges one on each half of the rock, then kaboom… If we fail Europe gets to send people for 2019, 20 and 21. Then Russia for 22 to 24.. after that I don’t know but we won’t stop until the asteroid is destroyed" said Perry
"This is the job you told me "has it’s perks" ?" asked David
"It does. No one dares to say no to a dead man walking… Like me. That is why I could get you a moon rock, the people on NASA had always wanted to give you one but brass said no. With me asking too we got the ok." said Perry
"That was pretty special, thanks mate" said David.
"Don’t mention it. I just helped push it to happen" said Perry
"So we are both sentenced to death, heh ?" said David in a sad chuckle
"Don’t give up. I bet you can outlive me" said Perry
"Talking about that, if you guys fail.. How bad would it be ?" asked David
"We won’t. But it won’t be as bad as the movie… Well, last time it happened life on the surface of earth was pretty rough for 2-3 years with firestorms and dust storms and few land dwellers survived. But most plants and animals that could find a cave or a burrow survived. The rough part was after, it got pretty cold for nearly a century. This time we have Global Warming helping a bit so the scientists think people who hide in a cave with food for 5 years will make it. It will be pretty damn cold and we will have to be smart about preserving food but they think it’s doable" said Perry
"Iman will be pushing 90 and my son will be nearly 80. But my 15 year old daughter…" said David
"Being one of the "heroes" gets me two spots on the US shelter if it makes you feel better. I don’t have anyone to send there" said Perry
"What about your nurse friend ? Does she know ?" asked David
"Right now, no one knows but me and Lee and people at the very top. But that’s why I can’t give one spot to rnwp. How would I explain it ? I couldn’t go after rnwp before and can’t after" said Perry
"What does rnwp mean ?" asked David
"She said it means "Registered Nurse With Powers" but I told her it means "read them and weep" because she always wins against me on poker… I let her win though" said Perry
"Well if you mean it, I would like to see that Lexy stays safe. I can tell Iman and Duncan and they will make sure Lexy gets in the shelter, if needed" said David
"What about you ?" asked Perry
"I’m gone… Doc says a month to live" said David
"Mate don’t give up. You have to fight it. I’m not saying you will last 35 years but stay as long as you can. You made me sing Alabama in front of everybody. Sober! You can at least very well survive until I come for R&R on 2017 and can take rnwp to your concert with my tickets" said Perry
"And will you be here if I survive ? Not blasting off to die in your suicide mission ?" asked David
"Mate, you just worry about staying alive and making music. I’ll be here in 2017 to go see you" said Perry
"On one condition" said David
"What ? You are not going to make me sing again, are you ?" asked Perry
"No. But you will have to tell her. Tell Claudia / rnwp all you told me. and tell her that is why you pushed her away. And let her decide if she deserves it or not. And get her a spot in the shelter" said David
"I.. Oh fine, you get yourself better and I will be here and tell her everything and take her backstage to meet you. She wouldn’t forgive me if I didn’t introduce you to her anyway" said Perry
"Thanks mate. I will. You keep your promise and I’ll keep mine" said David. "I think i can finally sleep now. I will fight this"
"You bet your ass you will. Or i’ll pester you until you do" said Perry
That was the last time Perry talked with David.
David Bowie passed away two months later on Jan 10th 2016, peacefully and surrounded by family.
January 11th 2016
Perry heard the news on his morning pre flight check before entering the rocket that was going to take him to the ISS in two weeks.
A few days later Perry got a small package in the mail, with a handwritten note from Coco.
"Dear Perry. David left this for you. It’s two tickets for his first show as Ziggy ever. He asks you to join him when you land. I don’t really understand the message but those tickets are very valuable to collectors, if you ever decide to sell them they are worth a fortune"
"I’m not selling them" said Perry to himself
Another message written in a small envelope read:
"Perry. If you get this it means I had to postpone our meeting from 2017 to the day you land on your destiny. I want to be there too. In space, with you, helping humans. Would you mind terribly giving me a ride ? There’s a little bit of me in this envelope, if you would help me one more time mate, that would be brilliant. We can meet on your asteroid and go to my next concert together, in outer space. Cheers - David"
With tears in his eyes Perry put the small envelope in his spacesuit pouch. That sounded like a plan.
"See ya Starman" said Perry to the sky
Before he went to sleep Perry put in a call to the shelter planning task force and gave them 2 names to fill his reserved slots. Then he placed a call to a certain nurse in New York. He had to keep his promise to David. Alas, Claudia was off that week. And in the next… He had no choice but to keep trying
February 2016
Claudia could hardly believe the head nurse when she came in the ward saying a certain Major Tom was calling her on the phone and Claudia had to take it on the woman’s office. The old woman had never cared about her, why start now ? As she tried to answer the office phone she finally understood why the hospital head nurse was looking at her so strangely. The call for her wasn’t on a hospital phone. An uniformed soldier from the nearby base had shown up at the hospital with a satellite phone for her, telling her someone was calling her from the International Space Station.
"Hello ?" said Claudia answering the large cellphone a bit spooked
"Claudia ? This is major tom. I tried calling you last week before I got out here but you weren’t around…" said Perry
"Major Tom ?" asked Claudia
"Yes, the one who chats with rnwp online and got you a Bowie autograph."
"You!! So you ARE a spaceman! What is your name ? I don’t want to call you Tom, not after…"
"I know. I met him, you know ? David Bowie. My name is Perry, Perry Newton"
"Perry.. I.. How ?"
"A long story.. one that I promised to a very important person in my life that I would tell you… All of it.. He made me promise that before he died. David Bowie. The guy was dying, barely knew me, didn’t know you but he cared about 2 people in love…"
"David cared ?.. Wait.. did you just say "2 people in love" ?" asked Claudia with her heart jumping on her chest finally grasping the meaning of the words she was hearing
"I did. Was I wrong ?" asked Perry
"No. Not wrong at all. I love you… Perry.. When are you back on Earth ? Oh God, this is so wild!" said Claudia feeling faint
"Whoa, calm down, miss!" said the soldier steading her
" I’ll be back next year but we can skype every night until then… Are you ok ?" asked Perry
"I am but perhaps we should talk about something less emotional for a bit. I want to see your face when we talk about us.. Tell me about David. He knew about me ?" said Claudia , her mind reeling with so many new surprising revelations.
"He did. And he cared. I guess that is why he connected with so many people. People could feel a genuinely great person, caring for all the unknown underdogs of the world…"
"I’ll miss him… But now I want to hear about you. When can I see you ?" answered Claudia, her heart beating fast as she talked with the man she loved
"Tonight.. spouses and girlfriends get unlimited skype privileges.. Well unlimited means 3 hours every night which is all my free time on this slave mill here" said Perry chuckling
"Can we talk tonight ?" asked Claudia
"Yes and I’ll spend the entire day looking forward to it… I have to go now, before this russian slave driver slaps me around on this low gravity here" said Perry
"Me too.. Can’t wait" said Claudia hanging up the phone and getting back to her ward without feeling her feet touch the ground
Somewhere in the sky a star twinkled as it giggled. So Perry had kept his promise after all.. Good. Now was time to make sure Iman and his kids were getting some peace and healing thought the blackstar as it twinkled again and made the radio on Iman’s car start playing
" There’s a starman… "