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“There were lilies and stuff, it was a whole thing,” Charles said, balancing the cursed soccer ball on his knee before attempting to switch it to the other leg. “My mum fainted at one point.”
“Poor woman, it must have been hard attending his son’s funeral,” Crystal frowned, ducking away before the unfortunately handled ball hit her in the face. “Some say that’s the worst thing a parent has to go through.”
“Ask my dad, I think he had it worse while I was alive,” Charles joked.
“Charles…” Crystal glared, throwing the ball back to him.
“I know, I know,” the boy laughed. “But yeah, it was a proper funeral. People cried. My bones rest six feet under, and I have a pretty nice gravestone. It was a Christian funeral but my mom had some of her traditions there too. Once the priest was gone they set a small fire on the grave…”
“She set a fire? In the graveyard? On your grave?” Crystal gasped.
“It was a small one,” Edwin chimed in from his desk. “It was safe.”
“Right, they just burned chips of wood to imitate having my bones burned. Then she put the ashes in a paper boat and let the river carry it wherever. We followed it as long as we could, right Edwin?”
“It was a curious way to honor tradition,” the other boy nodded, not even looking up from his notes.
“That’s cute,” Crystal remarked. “Weird, but cute.”
“Oi, my mom wanted to grieve me in her own way,” Charles chuckled. “Give her that. They visit my grave often too. Well, not that often lately but it’s always tidy.” he smiled proudly. “We could go visit sometime.”
“Did you just ask me for a date to visit your grave?” Crystal asked, with a pointed eyebrow at him.
“I know you like to hang out in cemeteries,” Charles grinned. She huffed at him, taking a sip from her coffee.
“What about you, Edwin, how was your funeral?” she asked instead, looking toward the boy at his desk.
“I don't know, I wasn’t there,” Edwin said with a shrug.
“Then, what about your grave?”
“I received a plaque in the family crypt.”
“Fancy, so your bones are all on display next to your ancestors like the horror show that era was?”
“No, my bones are not there, they are still at the school,” Edwin said casually. Both Charles and Crystal looked at each other then moved at the same time, as they approached the desk.
“You what mate?” Charles asked. Edwin looked up from his writing again, blinking at the two.
“While I can understand Crystal being hard of hearing, ghosts can't go deaf in death,” Edwin said.
“Your bones are still at the school? How do you know?” Crystal asked.
“That we can tell,” Charles said. “Ghosts can always tell where their remains are,” he continued, looking at Edwin.
“But how’s that possible? It’s been a hundred years,” Crystal gasped, spreading her arms. “They still haven't found them?”
“I am not entirely aware of the exact circumstances of why they are still there, all I know is that they remained there,” Edwin said, leaning back in his seat. “Can we drop this matter please?”
“You don't want to get them?”
“And then what, Crystal? Display them in a jar on the shelf? No, I believe that would not be healthy for any of us.”
“No but you could maybe find a place you want them to rest,” Charles remarked.
“Charles,” Edwin warned.
“Yeah, I’m with Crystal on this one. You were at my funeral, we chased my little soul boat down the river together. I think it's fair I helped you gather your remains from that hellsite.”
“This is insane, both of you are out of your minds,” Edwin gasped, standing from his chair. “They are only bones.”
“They're your bones, mate,” Charles argued. “So, it's decided, yeah? Our next case, the Case of the bones of Edwin Payne.”
“That's a rubbish name for a case,” Edwin grumbled.
“I think it's cute,” Crystal grinned, enjoying this all too much.
--
Soon, the staff of the Dead Boy Detective Agency had found themselves by the entrance of St. Hilarions once again. Crystal could easily convince the guard by the gates to let her in to look around, then quickly wiped the meeting from his memory. The main building of the school didn’t look like anything the boys remembered. It was modern, recently remodeled; yet it still showed money and prestige. Or it must have looked like that when the sun was up but sneaking around time was usually at night. So instead it looked like a boring old building of the modern era.
“Well, I could puke,” Crystal remarked dryly. Then turned to look at the boys. “So, what's next?”
“We leave,” Edwin retorted.
“We go in,” Charles grinned. “So where to, Edwin?” Silence welcomed Charles’s question. “Oh, come on mate, we’re already here.”
“Unfortunately we are, indeed,” Edwin grumbled, looking up at the building. He tensed his hands into fists as he still refused to elaborate.
“You know we can do this all day,” Crystal said.
“Edwin.” Charles mirrored Crystal’s expression.
“It's not that,” Edwin said, clearing his throat. “The thing is, I do not know where the bones are precisely .”
Crystal and Charles exchanged a look.
“Is that so?” Crystal challenged. “How convenient. I thought you're supposed to know as a ghost.”
“You really don't know?” Charles asked a little softer. Edwin just shook his head at him. “Well that's brills, it means we have a proper case on our hands!” he exclaimed happily. “See, this isn't a waste of time, this is work.”
“A treasure hunt,” Crystal smiled.
“A treasure hunt, innit?”
Edwin just sighed at the uncalled enthusiasm of his colleagues, then dipped his hand into his inner pocket for his notebook.
“A case it is, then,” he said, pointedly. “If you still want to call this madness something.”
“So, where do we start?” Crystal asked.
“I do suppose we shall start where it all happened. The basement,” Edwin said, flipping through his notes. “If they still have it, it seems like the building went through a lot of changes.”
“Basements are usually being kept, it's a pain to remove them,” Crystal said. “Does it have an outside entrance? So, you know, I could also get in?”
“It should,” Edwin nodded. “This way.”
They walked around the building, to the back gardens. Where now a completely new soccer field was also present. Along with a whole new building.
“All I’m saying is that it helps it looks nothing like it was back in the day,” Charles remarked as he followed Edwin and Crystal.
“Here, it should be here,” Edwin stopped them by the side of the main building. Crystal walked down the stairs to the door Edwin pointed at and tried it. It was locked. Edwin sighed, pocketing his notebook.
“Maybe we should go look first. We wouldn’t want to waste time breaking a lock-”
“It’s already done,” Charles grinned, packing up his tools. Edwin rolled his eyes, as he walked in behind his friend and Crystal. Flipping the lights on, the three of them stopped just a few steps inside. The sight that welcomed them was the most common basement of a school that could ever be. There was some sports equipment lying around, gardening tools, pots of dried flowers, wood planks for some reason and two huge boilers probably for the heating.
“Well, Edwin, anything?” Crystal asked, pocketing her hands in her coat.
“Hmm, this is the basement, indeed but it… well, they changed it quite a bit.”
“Hundred years, Edwin, a hundred years has passed, of course, they changed it,” she sighed. “Don’t tell me your bones may be in the walls…”
“Mate?” Charles asked when Edwin didn’t say anything snappy to Crystal’s horrible idea. But Edwin just walked further in, as if he was following a track. Charles and Crystal exchanged a look then hurried after him.
Edwin still didn’t say anything as he walked, his eyes were on the ground. Then he stopped at one point. He was rubbing his fingers together on one hand, saying nothing.
“It was here?” Charles asked. Edwin took a short, sharp breath as if he had just noticed them. As if he could still breathe…
“Here, yes. Nothing is out of the ordinary, however,” he said, clearing his throat. Then he raised his eyes and looked around. “Also, I don’t think my bones are in the walls.”
“I think I can check,” Crystal said. “Let me,” she continued and walked next to Edwin, crouching down. Though she stopped before she put her hand on the spot and looked up at Edwin. “I mean… if you…”
“Just do it, Crystal, I don’t care,” Edwin snapped. Crystal just rolled her eyes, then put her hand flat on the ground.
Visions came to Crystal first by the most recent one: the gardener and the coach of the soccer team having a blast. Crystal immediately skipped it, then skipped the next few as she was trying to guide her vision into the past, into some more horrible happenings. And yes. Yes, she arrived to that particular night. Boys dragged another boy downstairs, chanting slurs at him and reading from a book that made Crystal sick to her stomach, even if she only had to see it in her visions. Even if she didn’t know who the victim of the sacrifice was she would have felt bad. The whole scene was screaming panic and fear at her, and then the stench of Hell made everything almost unbearable.
“Crystal,” Charles warned.
“I’m getting there,” she snapped, only just realizing that she was out of breath. The vision continued. There were demons and death and torture and it was a struggle to keep her vision to this plane, to this exact basement. To that exact event. She heard Charles and Edwin call out for her, barely noting the tears rolling down her cheeks. “I’m getting there,” she yelled, her voice breaking. She needed to find a corpse. Bones. She needed to find bones. And bones she did find. Bones under rotting flesh, marked with the sign of the lamb, the sign of victim, killer, whore, virgin… the bones were marked and the flesh rotted and burned, burning everything around it. There… the bones… Crystal gasped as she forced herself to pull out of that horrible vision, sitting on the floor and trying to keep herself straight. Just to find Charles’s arm already around her.
“Are you okay?” Charles asked and for a moment Crystal wished his hands weren’t so damn cold.
“Yes, I’m fine. Yes,” she panted, looking up at Edwin. “They were taken. The bones were taken away. In a chest. We need to find a chest.” Even Crystal was aware that what she just said wasn’t entirely too much help and she was ready for whatever remark Edwin would shoot her way but nothing of the such came. In fact, Edwin was silent. Crystal furrowed her brows at him, but all she found was the face of a poker player.
“Aces, a chest. That’s something, right Edwin?” Charles said and helped Crystal up from the floor.
“Certainly,” Edwin said, his eyes weren't leaving Crystal.
“Yes I’ve seen everything,” she said after a moment of awkward silence. “I’m-”
“If you dare to say sorry to me Crystal, you shall not address me anymore in your life,” Edwin said quietly. Even Charles snapped his head at him for it.
“Oi, mate-”
“What did the chest look like?” Edwin interrupted before Charles could go on.
“Right, it was made of wood, there were other things in it. Jars of… things, and…” Crystal frowned as she was trying to remember it.
“And rope, and fox hide, a knife…” Edwin continued. “I think I know which chest it was.”
“You know it?”
“The janitor. He was an eccentric man. I never actually discovered what he was but I suppose he was sent to clean up after what happened.” The boy let out a sigh, a habit he could still not get rid of even more than a hundred years after his death. “It would make sense he kept the bones.”
“Where did he put his stash then?” Charles asked, his voice more strained than usual.
“That particular chest was kept in the Biology storage room,” Edwin said.
“Do you think it’s still there?”
“I don’t think so, Charles,” Crystal frowned. “But if we can find that place I could find the next clue, maybe.”
“Right, so, let’s go to Biology,” Charles grinned and motioned them along.
The outline of the main building didn't change much. So they were delighted to find that the biology room was still on the same floor, even if the biology closet was now a whole storage room. Charles knelt by the door, getting his tools to open the door.
“I always wanted to do this,” he grinned.
“You always wanted to break into a Bio lab?” Crystal asked, raising her eyebrow.
“We could never come in here, and this is where they keep all the exciting stuff. There could be a whole corpse in here!” His words were welcomed by the strangest silence. And only then did Charles realize what he had just said. “I mean…” he stuttered, looking at Edwin.
“Can you please just open the lock, Charles,” Edwin said with an eyeroll.
“Right, yes, in a tick,” the boy cleared his throat and continued his work. It didn’t take much time before they walked into another dark room. Crystal flicked on the lights, so the next moment they were facing a fully stacked biology storeroom. And a skeleton on display in the middle of it. Charles looked at Edwin with wide eyes, along with Crystal. Edwin pursed his lips for a moment.
“As if,” he said.
“Ouf, okay then,” Charles let out a relieved sigh. ”I don’t see a chest full of murder equipment anywhere. So… Crystal?”
“On it,” she sighed and walked in. She looked around before she picked a spot to contemplate on.
“Just… be careful, yeah?” Charles warned before she could start it.
“She shall be fine, Charles, I doubt they did many demon sacrifices in here,” Edwin said. His friend just sent him a look.
Crystal decided to touch the walls in the room, in the hope that they contained more of the memories than the ground. It took her a while to find the right time, and the chest with it. Edwin was right, it was kept here for a long, long time. Buried under other junk. Until it was taken away when they renovated the school.
“All I saw was that it was taken out of this room,” Crystal sighed. “And that I’ll never look at this skeleton the same way again.”
“Why?” Charles frowned.
“I’ll tell you later,” Crystal said. “So, it’s your turn boys. Where do you think they put a chest full of shi-- things. Jesus.”
“I suppose it depends on when that renovation occurred,” Edwin said, looking around.
“There were multiple ever since then so the chest must have moved many times, if not thrown out,” Charles wondered out loud, adjusting his backpack on his shoulder. “But if it was thrown out they must have checked what was inside, right? How come nobody reported finding human bones?”
“Maybe they didn’t look like human bones,” Crystal shrugged. “Not anymore,” he added as the boy looked at her.
“So, the real investigation starts now,” Edwin cleared his throat, then took his notebook. “When did they renovate this place, when was the chest moved? How could we find out for sure?”
“Who goes there?” All three of them jumped at the call, turning toward the man who was aiming a torch at them. “Oh, come on, not the skeleton again…”
“No, sir, no, this isn’t a ‘skeleton again’ situation, I swear,” Crystal snapped, holding up her hands as if the torch was a gun.
“Now I really wanna know what happened with the skeleton,” Charles huffed.
“I’m just here to… as a prank…” Crystal continued, trying to see the man behind the light. “So just throw me out-”
“Wait, Crystal, maybe he knows about the renovations,” Edwin said as he walked next to the man. “He seems to be the janitor here.”
“-orrr not. I mean, I… just want to know more about… the history of the building.”
There was a moment of awkward silence as the janitor was eying Crystal, still suspiciously.
“Right, I can tell you all ‘bout it on our way out,” he said. “Come on, young lady.”
“Aces,” Charles grinned. “Crystal is getting just as charming as I am. Maybe even better.” Edwin just rolled his eyes as they followed the man outside.
Crystal moved to walk next to the man, taking a good look at him. He looked old but in a way people in movies would be old. Crystal wondered if this was what being charismatic meant.
“So, the history of the building? What does that have to do with the Biology lab? I hope you weren’t looking for drugs and went to the wrong room.”
“Oh, no no no, I was only… looking for a chest. Actually.”
“A chest? Treasure chest?”
“I know that there were a lot of old things scattered around. I think this school has been standing more than a hundred years now-”
“A hundred and fifty,” he nodded. “So, if there’s treasure here it’s buried.”
“It’s not a treasure chest,” Crystal sighed. By this time they arrived outside, walking along the soccer field as the janitor was leading them to one of the smaller gates to leave.
“Treasure or not, the last time they did a big sweep of all the old stuff they piled it up outside, right there,” the janitor motioned toward the soccer field. “Some of it was taken, some of it was ground up and scattered in the ground. It was cheaper than taking it away to some dumpster. So there may be some old gold lying scattered on that soccer field, you say?”
“It’s not a…” Crystal started but then he noticed Edwin wasn’t following them. Charles also looked alarmed, turning his head to see where their friend went. Edwin wasn’t that far actually. He just stopped, looking toward the soccer field.
“Crystal,” Charles called and immediately hurried to Edwin. Crystal cursed under her breath and took the wrist of the janitor.
“Would you give us- me a few minutes?” she asked, though it wasn’t actually a request, more of a demand through her powers. When she was sure the janitor wouldn’t bother them he hurried to the boys.
“What is it, what happened?” she asked, looking around as if she were about to spot some kind of monster in the distance.
“I… I don’t know. Edwin?” Charles tried, frowning at his friend. “Everything’s ok, mate?”
Edwin held his notebook in one hand, his pen in the other. His grip was so tight his hands trembled.
“I believe… our investigation is concluded,” he said and slowly closed his notebook.
“Why, what did you…” Charles asked but as he followed Edwin’s gaze he fell silent. Crystal sighed, crossing her arms. Ground up and scattered around. “Edwin, we cannot be sure-”
“I’m sure, Charles,” Edwin whispered tensely. “I cannot pinpoint the exact location of my remains because they are- they are scattered all over that field,” he hissed, motioning toward the playfield. “I am all over the fucking place,” he said and Charles could not help letting out a snort in his awkwardness and immediately got kicked by Crystal.
“Sorry, mate.”
Edwin shook his head and set his bowie straighter than it was. He closed his eyes for a second then turned to Charles and Crystal.
“Now, shall we go now? I have proper work to do.”
“This was proper work, Edwin,” Crystal said.
“It was and it is now over. Job jobbed, case done.”
“Right, but-”
“Let’s go, Charles,” Edwin snapped.
Crystal let the janitor escort them out. Then they took a cab back to the city. Edwin did not say a word the whole time. Even Charles was silent. Only when they got back to the office Charles asked the question.
“Okay, but why doesn’t it feel like the job was jobbed?”
“Maybe because there was no job in the first place. It was you two being difficult,” Edwin said as he walked past him toward his desk.
“It’s because we haven’t actually seen the bones,” Crystal said, taking off her coat.
“Well, you have,” Edwin pointed out. Crystal froze, raising her gaze at him. “Bones that didn’t look human.”
“They were burned, alright? Burned and marked. If I didn’t know demons exist I’d think someone was pulling a prank with some animal bones.” Crystal retorted. Edwin just rolled his eyes and sat down, snapping the Encyclopedia of Spectral Flora open, and pointedly started to take notes. Crystal scoffed then hung her coat with a bit more vehement than what was necessary.
Charles frowned at them but said nothing. Then he stepped to the wall that held their cases, open, ongoing, and closed and took an empty card. He then wrote ‘Edwin Payne’s bones’, and held it up, reading the title over and over again. He hoped that writing the name of the case down would make it feel real, would make it feel like they did something… But the more he read it the more he felt like something was missing. They knew where the bones were, so what? What was missing?
Charles looked over at Edwin, furiously taking notes about some kind of spectral pine, and wondered. He spotted Crystal sitting down on the sofa, her eyes were on Edwin too. She looked like she wanted to say something too but didn’t. It wasn’t a good look on her, but Charles knew at that moment that she also felt like something was missing.
“Edwin. “It was Crystal who spoke quietly after a few minutes of strange silence.
“Crystal, please, I need to focus,” the boy snapped. Only then did she look over at Charles for help. But Charles just shrugged – he had little idea. All he knew was that something was wrong.
“Mr. Rowland, is that supposed to be a new case?” If the ghost postman was a jumpscare risk, the Night Nurse was even more so. Even if she was more frequent in their office lately. Charles gasped a useless breath, almost dropping the card with the case name.
“It is but… It’s done, I think?” the boy winced, turning toward her. She closed the distance between them and snatched the card to read it for herself. She was very punctual about cases, especially the ones ongoing and finished. She wanted to make sure their filing system was immaculate because if any soul slipped between the cracks it would be her responsibility. They actually bonded with Edwin about this and it was horrible as far as Charles was concerned.
“What is the meaning of this?” she asked, looking over to Edwin too. “What about your bones, young man?” Charles winced. Crystal just looked into the distance pretending she was somewhere else. Edwin finally looked up from his writing, with a death glare at Charles.
“My partners were insisting on finding them. We have found them.”
“And have you buried them?”
“We couldn’t collect them. They were ground up and scattered to be a soccer field.” Charles winced the moment that sentence left his mouth. Edwin just turned back to his work. The Nurse frowned at Edwin still holding the card. “We cannot bury bones that are… dust…” Charles continued.
“Charles,” Crystal warned because there was a point where one must stop talking immediately.
“You cannot, indeed,” the Night Nurse nodded. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t hold a funeral. You were looking for the bones to do that, yes?”
“No,” Edwin frowned.
“Yes,” Charles and Crystal said at the same time.
“That’s it!” Charles gasped. “But- but how-”
“Don’t look at me. You humans have many ways to say goodbye to your dead, pick one. Not all of that needs the remains.”
“The soul boat,” Crystal exclaimed, pointing at Charles.
“Well then, I see this case is still ongoing. File them properly, boy,” the Night Nurse scoffed and put the card on the accurate wall.
“You’re invited!” Charles yelled suddenly, pointing at her. “To the funeral. To Edwin’s funeral.”
“What,” Edwin frowned, having the same expression as the Nurse. The only difference was that her face softened a moment later.
“Send me the card,” she said before going on to do her other work.
“Charles,” Edwin started in that tone in which he demanded an explanation immediately, otherwise a lecture was incoming.
“Yes, mate, we’re gonna hold a funeral for you. Not some flimsy plaque or something boring, we’re gonna soul-boat the shit out of you!” Charles grinned.
“I don’t need any of that,” Edwin insisted.
“Oh, I think you do,” Crystal chimed in. Edwin sent her a look.
“Perfect, I’ll do the preparations. Edwin, you think about where you wanna be buried,” Charles said. “Come on, Crystal, we need to do some shopping.”
“You better not trade away any of our magical items for useless things, Charles!” Edwin called after the pair as they walked out of the office.
“Thank you for doing this Crystal,” Charles grinned as he shouldered his backpack outside the building.
“You boys are my good friends, so sure, I’ll help in making Edwin the most uncomfortable as ever,” she smiled. Charles laughed, nodding.
“Checks out. Alright, this way, we’re gonna visit some shops.”
--
It took Charles and Crystal a few days to collect everything they needed. Charles also sent out cards to a few people they figured should be at the funeral. The Ghost Postman replied the fastest saying he was busy that day but he sent his deepest condolences. Edwin also caught Charles arguing with a cat one night about a lost invitation.
“It wasn’t lost. I didn’t send you blokes any,” Charles insisted.
“You better think about that twice, boy. The King won’t stand for not being invited to this prestigious event,” the cat hissed.
“Prestigious ev- How do you even know about it?!” Charles asked exasperated. “Edwin, help me out!”
“If they want an invitation they should have an invitation,” Edwin said flatly. Charles pressed his lips together angrily, glaring at the cat.
“Fine, your King won this one but he better not cause trouble or I’ll make sure to shave him bald if I catch him.” The cat replied something in Cat that was most probably a curse that had no equivalent in the human language, then left. Charles shook his head and turned to Edwin.
“You really want that sleazy Cat King at your funeral?”
“Not really,” the boy said, walking to their bookshelf to take some of the books for reading.
“Then why did you want to invite him?” Charles gasped, spreading his arms. Edwin just raised a pointed eyebrow at him. “Oh. To make it more troublesome for me.”
“You wanted this more than I,” Edwin said.
“What’s wrong with holding a funeral for you, mate?”
“I’m already dead, Charles. I have a plaque in the family crypt, my remains are being trampled on by soccer players. Everything about me is settled.”
“Do you really think so?”
“I do think so,” Edwin snapped. “So this funeral is the silliest event you’ve ever done.”
“Mate,” Charles tried.
“I’m done arguing about this, Charles.” There was a silent moment during which they both settled a little. Edwin pointedly took three books and hauled them over to his desk. Then Charles spoke again.
“If you really thought it was silly, you wouldn’t have picked that particular spot for being buried,” he said.
“It is a convenient spot for such madness,” Edwin retorted without missing a beat.
“Right, see you there then.”
--
Crystal looked around as they entered the graveyard. Or… once a graveyard. Many, or if not all, the graves weren’t being tidied anymore. Most of the names on the headstones were also impossible to read. Crystal wasn’t even sure the small church standing on the property was used at all anymore. But, for some reason, the roses that were running up against the church’s walls looked well-kept as long as she could tell in the moonlight.
“Nice place,” Crystal frowned as they were walking further in, toward an old tree. “I wouldn’t have thought Edwin would pick an actual graveyard to be buried in.”
“Nah, it’s not that,” Charles said with a smile. “This is where our first office was, right Edwin?”
“Office? Where…” she frowned but as they approached the tree he could spot the remains of a treehouse amongst its branches. “Don’t tell me it was that,” she pointed.
“The one and only,” the boy sighed, shaking his head fondly. “Until we gave it up to some girls.”
“They took it,” Edwin corrected, looking over his shoulder. “Because someone was too nice,” he added, looking at Charles.
“Oi,” Charles frowned. “We have a better place now, right? It was meant to happen.” Edwin just fell into that particular silence where he knew Charles was right; he just didn’t want to say it out loud. “Looks like it’s abandoned now.”
“Clearly,” Crystal frowned up at the wooden planks amongst the branches. The house resembled only a little to an actual treehouse. It was falling apart and seemed like nobody occupied it for years now. It was kind of charming if one liked decay, Crystal wondered.
“You are late,” the Night Nurse huffed as they arrived by the tree. “It is rude to be late for your own funeral, don’t you think?”
“I apologize, I didn’t want to come,” Edwin crossed his arms, then looked at Charles.
“But we’re here and we should start. This is everyone, yeah?” the other boy said, looking around at their little crowd. Aside from the Night Nurse, Tragic Mick stood a few steps away, pretending he was only here by accident. And a suspicious-looking black cat was lounging on one of the lower branches of the tree. A bit away, some of the lingering ghosts were gathering around to see what was happening.
“Can we move this along, please?” Edwin sighed.
“I know, I know, you have a lot of other things to do,” Charles said and shrugged off his backpack. He took out a small urn and a lighter.
“I can’t believe we gave away the Snowglobe of Hurricanes for this,” Edwin grumbled under his breath.
“Oi, you don’t even know what it is,” Charles warned him. “Right, so, um…” He took a small handkerchief and laid it by the exposed roots of the dying tree. Then placed a few pieces of wood on it.
“Are we sure it’s safe to play with fire at a tree that looks more dead than alive?” Crystal warned.
“Trust me, Crystal, it’ll be fine,” Charles said, taking the lighter. He lowered himself on one knee, before looking back at his friend. “So, these are your bones now, Edwin, yeah?”
“I suppose so, in the lack of my proper ones.”
“It’s all metaphorical, mate,” Charles said, then lit the few pieces of wood. They caught on immediately, making a small fire by their feet. Edwin frowned at the sight, while Tragic Mick hummed. The handkerchief they were placed on was not catching on fire, providing a safe spot for the wood to burn. And it did. Only in a few minutes, what they were looking at were the ashes.
“What kind of wood…” Edwin frowned more as Charles went down to tie the corners of the handkerchief together and placed the little makeshift bag into the urn. Then he put his hand on the top of the white porcelain. “These are the remains of Edwin Payne,” he said. Edwin shifted a little uncomfortable. Then Charles stood back up and put his hand on Edwin’s shoulder. “And you are Edwin Payne.”
“Charles, what…” the boy started but he could feel it then. The binding magic found him. He gasped when he felt it tie to his chest.
“From now on, this little fella’s gonna have your remains, and you’ll always know where it is, right? It’s also really hard to break. The urn I mean.”
“Believe me, it’s basically indestructible,” Crystal nodded, sending a look at Charles.
“Right, and now only you can open it.” Edwin pursed his lips, looking at the little porcelain urn. It wasn’t anything special, it was even smaller than the urns that usually contained human ashes. But… but it was his. His urn, with his ashes. “So would anyone like to make a speech before we bury it?” Charles looked around.
“I propose it should be someone the closest to the deceased,” the Night Nurse said, motioning toward Charles.
“Oh,” the boy blinked. “Oh, right, yes. I didn’t prepare…”
“It really isn’t necessary, Charles,” Edwin tried.
“No, no, this is a funeral so you need a speech. So…”
“I’ll google some prewritten eulogies, Charles, hang on,” Crystal took her phone, tapping away.
“Will there be snacks at the end of this, or…?” Tragic Mick asked as he moved closer.
“They are ghost boys, there will be no snacks,” the Night Nurse frowned at him.
“So, you should talk about fond memories, funny stories, express gratitude and love,” Crystal read. “Manage emotions, speak from the heart…”
“Can we start digging? This is getting more ridiculous by the second,” Edwin rolled his eyes.
“Right, yeah, right, uh,” Charles stuttered looking around the chaos that was brewing around him.
“Come on, Mr. Rowland, hurry up, we don’t have all day,” the Night Nurse snapped, just as impatient as Edwin. There was an amused meow coming from the branches of the tree.
“Alright, everyone, quiet!” Charles yelled, holding up his hands. “I didn’t prepare a speech but I- I can talk about my best mate anytime, right?”
“Fond memories,” Crystal whispered.
“Yes, so, so when I first met him he was already dead and I didn’t believe it at first but then he walked through walls so I had no choice.”
“For goodness sake,” Edwin whispered, rubbing his eyes.
“And then I died too so we decided-”
“ You decided--”
“ We decided to run from death and now we are here, at Edwin’s funeral because everyone deserves one. He didn’t tell me why he chose this place as his final resting place but I can guess. This is where we’ve decided to become detectives, yeah? This was the first place we called home, our home. It wasn’t called an office yet it was just a house with us in it. So I can see how it is an important place for Edwin,” Charles said, looking at his friend with a grin. “This was where he realized we are stuck together.” Edwin just pursed his lips. “So, as we say goodbye to the remains of Edwin Payne, let's wish for a lot more years of afterlife with you, mate!”
There was an awkward clap from Crystal and Tragic Mick as Charles quickly dug a small hole under the tree’s roots and placed Edwin’s urn in it. Without prompting, the Night Nurse walked on and threw a fistful of dirt on it.
“My deepest condolences,” she said in her driest tone to Edwin, then turned to leave. Tragic Mick did the same though his well wishes were more awkward. And he apologized about the snacks. The cat on the branch meowed before disappearing in a burst of purple flames.
Crystal walked up to the boys too and threw some dirt onto the urn.
“Well, that was…” She started as she looked up at Edwin but she didn’t continue. Edwin’s lips were pursed into a thin line as he was looking down at his ‘remains’ being buried. And Crystal knew that look. She knew that too well. “Oh, Edwin,” she whispered, standing there a little unsure.
“Mate, it’s okay,” Charles said softly.
“This is so silly,” Edwin stuttered, clearly struggling to speak. He let out a breath, and another as he was trying to keep a straight face. Though it all was futile when Charles put an arm around his shoulders and pulled him closer. Edwin let out a soft sob, closing his eyes. Charles just smiled sadly, as he leaned his head against Edwin’s looking down at the half-buried urn. Crystal stood there a bit unsure. Then she reached to brush her fingers against Edwin’s. What she didn’t expect was the boy seeking her hand to hold. So Crystal gently took his hand, squeezing it reassuringly as Edwin quietly wept.
When Edwin felt a little better, he watched as Charles and Crystal buried the urn properly. Charles even got a flower bouquet of lilies to place on the grave. It was… It was pretty, as Edwin noted. There was no headstone or anything else indicating that there were remains buried there – that role was given to the tree and the treehouse on it.
The cab ride back to the office was quiet but not uncomfortable.
“I’ll see you guys back a bit later, alright?” Crystal said when the cab drove away. “I think I’m going to get something sweet after this.”
“Sure thing,” Charles grinned, shouldering his backpack.
“Thank you, Crystal, for coming,” Edwin muttered. Crystal stopped and Charles was sure she was going to retort something but she just nodded.
“No problem, Edwin,” she said. “Later, then.” She smiled before she turned to visit her favorite bakery in London.
“Well, that was brills, wasn’t it?” Charles smiled when they got back to the office. He put his backpack down and went to sort the mail that arrived while they were out. Though the strange silence from Edwin made him nervous. “Are you okay, mate?”
“I…” Edwin started still lingering around the entrance. “I’m sorry Charles, for thinking it was a silly idea.”
“Nah, don’t worry about it.”
“I’ve never thought it would feel like this,” Edwin whispered, putting his hand on his chest. He tried the bond that was now just a little tug at the back of mind, but it was there. His… his remains… safely tucked away and said goodbye to. “I feel…”
“Safe?” Charles tried. Edwin looked at him, with wide eyes.
“Yes,” he nodded. Charles smiled, walking up to him.
“You now belong somewhere, yeah? And you’ll always know where,” he pointed at Edwin’s chest. The boy smiled. He already knew where he belonged: here with Charles. But now there was proof of it. That he wasn’t just a memorial tablet in a crypt, that he wasn’t just dust to be trampled on; he was a friend, a detective, a boy in the afterlife.
“Thank you, Charles,” Edwin said softly.
“Don’t mention it,” his friend grinned, patting his shoulder. Then he walked up to the wall and took the card that wrote ‘Edwin Payne’s bones’. “Wanna do the honors?” he winked at Edwin. The boy cleared his throat and stepped to him, taking the card from him. With a fond roll of his eyes, he placed it with the closed cases.
And that was the case of the bones of Edwin Payne.