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Had it been any other door, it would probably have been slammed shut by now. But considering the downsides of slamming his own door shut (notably disrupting his neighbors and getting another noise complaint), Hirano conceded to approaching this more rationally. And so he sighed and faced his dorm room with his very much shirtless roommate.
“Ah, Hirano-san. Welcome back--” Kagi greeted but quickly realized the situation. “Sorry! I’ll um, give me a second.”
It wasn’t as if they hadn't seen each other changing before, they were roommates after all. And Hirano was no stranger to the... athletic body that Kagi had built. It was the fact Kagi was in such a strange position with his back facing their full length mirror and trying to crane his neck to see the reflection that concerned Hirano. The scene was weird enough that he didn’t want to know. Yet he still found himself asking, “Why...?”
His question had to wait as Kagi pulled on his shirt and his eyes shone as he explained to Hirano. “It’s just something my classmates were talking about. Have you heard about the belief that the moles on your body are your previous lives bleeding into your current one? Like if you got stabbed in another life, you have a mole there now?”
Hirano snorted, “That’s silly. And a bit morbid.”
“But look,” Kagi insisted, “I have a mole on the side of my torso and someone told me I also have a scatter of moles on my back. So I was impaled? Or backstabbed?”
“I’d rather not think about you dying, this life or another,” Hirano sighed as he threw his bag to the side and slipped off his shoes. But with Kagi’s puppy eyes making him feel guilty, he added on, “But if I had to guess, I’d say you were backstabbed. You’re too trusting.”
“Aw, thanks.”
Hirano pinched the bridge of his nose, “That’s not a compliment.”
But that didn’t deter Kagi in the slightest. Instead, he seemed a bit too hyped at the thought of this. “What if, I was a valiant knight and was slayed in battle?”
“You, a knight? Sure, they have a variety of roles. I can see some of them but Kagi-kun, you are not going out on an active battlefield.”
Kagi pouted, “I’m very capable. But what if this world we were forced to? We were at war!”
“And poor you got drafted. Understandable.”
That didn’t sound that fun but Kagi went with it. “Imagine:”
“With this sword, I swear to protect the kingdom,” Kagi pointed his blade up to the sky in a salute with the rest of his squadron. “Through war and battles, we swear our blood to the king. Let our swords guide the light.”
Cheers resonated among the courtyard. And a speck of a figure at the top of the palace raised a scepter, “Go forth, soldiers. Protect the kingdom!”
As the team gathered their belongings, arming themselves with swords and shields, there were hushed whispers. “Will we really return?” followed by a loud shushing noise, “Don’t you dare say something like that. We bring honor to our kingdom.”
Yet in this time, Kagi did wonder if it was worth it all.
He was leaving his family behind, even though they kept telling him that he had to do this to protect them. The pictures of war horrors they showed them in training were scarred in his brain. He dared not let anyone suffer that fate. Not if he could do something about it.
With his rather tall stature and will to protect, it wasn’t a surprise that he was recruited.
And even as his mother caressed his face with the back of her hand, he couldn’t dare shed a tear to worry her. “I’ll be home soon, mother.”
Those were the last words he said to her before going to the battlefield. Before he would meet his fate at the hands of an enemy soldier. Another soldier, told the same story, about saving their kingdom. Fighting for unknown reasons. All the same-- pitting the innocent against the innocent for a greater reason they never knew.
“Kagi-kun, what the heck?” Hirano raised an eyebrow at Kagi’s story. “When did this get so philosophical? The greater reason?”
“We learned about this in class. History.”
Hirano didn’t recall his history lessons ever getting so personal. They were always about the whole, about the victors. Yet he had to concede that Kagi had a good point-- about how many soldiers were drafted and had no personal will to fight. But he allowed Kagi to continue.
“We may be outnumbered in this fight, but we have tactical advantage,” the squad leader tapped at the map, “If we guide them into this canyon, they will be at the mercy of our archers from atop the ledge. One clean swoop.”
“How are we going to split the archers and footmen, sir?”
“...it would only be fair to draw sticks. Half on top, safe, and half to guide the charge.” With a heavy atmosphere. Everyone reached their hand into the pool. One by one, the men with the shorter sticks stopped earlier and stared at their hands in dismay. Meanwhile, though they pitied the unlucky, the winners could only breathe in relief.
Kagi was one of the “lucky”.
Hirano rolled his eyes, “You just gave yourself plot armor?”
“You’re ruining my story! I didn’t even get to it yet, hold your horses, Hirano-san. Quite literally. You see:”
As the so called lucky members set up camp above the canyon, staking out a vantage point without knowing it was already too late. The second they had their backs turned, the screams began. Kagi turned his head in shock as an entire squad of enemy personnel revealed themselves from the treeline. How did they know?
“There was a traitor!” their leader yelled. “Fight back. For the kingdom”
“For the kingdom!” Their echoes vibrated off the canyon walls. Soon the other team would have known how they evaded death by their sheer luck. But Kagi didn’t have time to think about them when the fight was in front of him.
The rusty scent of blood was overwhelming. The clang of metal against metal.
“Look out!” he called out to his squadmate, only for that split second to be his biggest mistake. Before he knew it, blood spurted out of his mouth. He could only weakly glance over to see a beautiful blonde soldier with his sword pierced in Kagi’s stomach. And as the soldier withdrew his sword, Kagi slid off with a thud, eyes pointing blankly at the killer.
At the very least, he had such a beautiful face to look at whilst dying.
He fought well, but it was time for the rest to go on without him. Oh how he wished to see his parents’ faces one more time. But not in this life...
“...I swear to God, you inserted me as your killer?!”
Kagi threw his hands up in mercy, “I think it would be poetic, if you killed me. At least I get to, you know, die in my loved ones’ hands?”
Hirano frowned, “Sounds like we were enemies in your hypothetical world. What lover?”
“Well if you had given yourself the chance to know me, I’m sure we wouldn’t have remained enemies! Maybe I’d even leave my kingdom’s meaningless war for you!” Kagi said it so simply, like that wasn't a sure fire plot to get him executed.
“As if you’d be that daring. But you certainly would... get yourself caught up in something just because you care too much.” Hirano glanced at the clock and realized time had flown by as they were chatting. Fortunately, neither of them were particularly busy this time of semester, giving him the time to indulge his roommate.
Kagi’s smile seemed to grow exponentially when he realized that Hirano wasn’t planning to cut him off. “Then how do you think I died?”
“Why do you say it like that?” Hirano cringed but gave it some thought. “Well, maybe you worked at a clinic or a children's center. And your goodwill was taken advantage of.”
Kagi held the child that was just left at his doorstep with tender arms. Warm and inviting. “Aren’t you a sweetheart?” He looked at the child as if God himself had granted Kagi a present. “Welcome to the family. You’re going to grow up to be a wonderful person.”
He tucked the child between the parting in his shawl and whisked her away from the cold winter air outside.
A few curious eyes watched him as he made his way through the children’s center. His steps were confident, proud of the work he does and how many children he’s seen grow and leave his embrace. And he promised the younger children the same kindness that he had imparted on the departed teens.
“Oh my, you’re cold,” Kagi murmured as he brought the child over to the fireplace. “Rest now, you will be safe with us.”
A small hand tugged his pants, “Is she okay?”
“Of course,” Kagi gently patted his legs, offering the child a place to sit. “She’ll be your little sister soon, aren’t you excited?” Though based on the baby’s complexion, she was struggling to stay alive. Who knew how long she was outside? It was only a matter of time before the cold would catch up to her and--
Kagi sniffed, “Hirano-san, why are you giving these children so much personality? I’m going to be attached to these imaginary children! How could you suggest I die while protecting these littles ones? That’s too sad!”
“I was not putting names on purpose. Kagi-kun, this isn’t real.”
“But... the children survived, right?”
Hirano initially hadn’t planned for them to survive, but based on how destroyed Kagi seemed at his story, he gave in, “Yes, you protected them until the very end. Until your death.” And so his story changed:
But Kagi wasn’t able to give up that easily. So day after day, he nursed the baby back to health. First came by urging her to at least drink some water, then it came to feeding her some of their liquid foods, then finally, when she was finally able to stand on her own two feet, she was given the care and adoration every child deserved.
The rest of the kids also loved her. She was a ray of sunshine, quite frankly.
Contrary to her past of frigid beginnings, she had a smile that could light up a room. She was always up to play with the other kids and give a helping hand to Kagi when he needed. She was practically the perfect adoption child.
Hirano paused, wondering if he was a bit too on the nose with his description.
Yet day after day, other children were given a forever home but not her.
Something always seemed to deter families from taking in her and Kagi couldn’t figure it out no matter how hard he tried. Yet he wanted the best for her, always. And even if Kagi swore he didn’t play favorites, this girl held a special place in his heart.
“You think I would take care of a mini Hirano-san in this story?” Kagi prodded.
Hirano raised an eyebrow, “No! God, I wouldn’t wish that on you either way. My parents said I was quite rambunctious as a child.”
Kagi lit up, “Aw! I want to see child Hirano-san! Do you have pictures?”
“No way. Absolutely not,” Hirano crossed his arms in an X shape. “Either way, there’s no saying we’d meet in every universe. Let’s be realistic.”
Despite Kagi seeming to want to protest, Hirano rushed to finish his story:
That is to say that he would indeed put his life on the line for her.
“That’s her, the girl of bad omen!” A voice echoed through the forest. “Kill her!” A rush of villagers trampled the same steps he had picked her up. Kagi desperately tried to calm the crowd but his pleas were lost in the crowd.
The girl cowered in the back. Her eyes glowing red in the darkness. “Help me.”
And Kagi could only watch in horror as the masses of people ran past him. No, please stop. Please run, he tried to shout. To his relief, the children at least figured out what he meant over the noise because they all began to scatter. One of the other girls grabbed her hand and they began to flee into the tree line.
Thank God. Kagi ran after the girl. She was the one they wanted.
Yet when he reached her, she was standing still as a statue. “Let them take me. I don’t want anyone else to get hurt.”
Kagi fell down on his knees, “Never.”
And so he held her close to his chest, letting his own figure envelop her as the angry stabs and beatings hailed down on him. And as much as it hurt, he couldn’t bear to let her bear that burden. But that was unfortunately it for him. She would have to grow up to be the person he always wished for without him being by her side.
At the very least, he would have been happy. Seeing that in the future, she survived and began an orphanage by herself.
Hirano ended his story with a satisfied nod, “Happy ending...despite death.”
“I mean, I still died but I suppose that’s as happy as it can get,” Kagi conceded. Though if anyone looked closely, there were wells of tears in his eyes. “I’m happy for her though, she managed to get through it all.”
Just like I am proud of you, Hirano thought.
“At least at the end, you died protecting what you cared about. It’s fitting,” Hirano explained his process. And it was true, Kagi once again died a hero.
What he cared about?
“In that case, what if I died protecting you, Hirano-san? Maybe a tragedy,” Kagi suggested.
“You’re ready to tell a tragedy?”
Kagi laughed-- Hirano-san was right, he was too soft for this type of tale. But it was all make believe at the end of the day. “Imagine, we’re both famous thieves and on the run when I take the bullet for you to escape. Or maybe I’m your bodyguard or something.”
“I cannot imagine you stealing nor being hired to be someone’s bodyguard.” Hirano stifled his laughter behind a hand. Kagi always thought it was one of the cutest things his roommate did. Not that he would ever bring it up again. Not after the previous time when he was the victim of a barrage of pillows.
Wracking his brain for more ideas, Kagi finally said, “Fine, what if I was your partner that saved you from a trap...?”
Partner? Hirano wanted to question but allowed Kagi to begin the tale. “A bit more realistic. Sure, let’s go with that. What happens next?”
In this world, Kagi and Hirano had actually gotten to know each other. They had met back in a training academy, parallel to their situation now. They were both up and rising stars in the field, both of them capable of holding their own in battle against. And their job? Explorers of the Complex, a mysterious building shaped entity that had arisen in the middle of the city.
Where Hirano lacked in physical strength, Kagi made up for it. Whereas Kagi lacked in foresight, Hirano strategized his way through the games.
It was easy to see how they worked together. And it was no wonder they were paired together for missions time and time again. Their win to loss ratio for the games were unparalleled and their accomplishments rewarded greatly.
The games were dangerous, of course, yet they continued to win.
In this dystopia, if they didn’t challenge the tower, then humanity itself would die. With unknown powers, the Complex was more than capable of that. “Do you think it’ll ever be gone? Is there an end to this game?” Kagi thought out loud one day, while they were making their way to the Complex for another mission.
“I could only hope so,” Hirano shook his head, “We can’t do this forever.”
“We won’t. We’ll pass the torch on eventually.”
And then we can live our lives, Kagi seemed to imply. Not without the looming fear of annihilation on the daily though. But it would be nice, Kagi thought, to be able to settle down. Perhaps with Hirano by his side. Stay with his family for more than two days. Be able to find someone to devote his time to rather than these games.
“Activate, A01 and B02,” Hirano pressed his hand into a panel. “Let’s go.”
Kagi reached out his hand for Hirano to join together. As soon as their hands met, a powerful current began to pull them upwards. Wind pushed their hair up to their faces and Kagi could only spare a glance at Hirano. He was calm. Eyes closed, mouth whispering words beneath his breath. Perhaps a prayer that they would make it out alive again.
Little did he know, only one of them would make it out alive this time.
“...I don’t know how to feel about this,” Hirano confessed. “Why would you write a story like this? I really wish you wouldn’t die for me.”
But it was true. Kagi would do anything to keep Hirano smiling.
“It’s just a story, Hirano-san!”
As the gusts settled down, they finally had a view of their surroundings. They were in an open field, grass greener than Kagi had ever seen in their world. Flowers bloomed around then and despite Hirano’s wariness in touching anything generated by the Complex, Kagi couldn’t resist brushing his fingertips against a petal.
Silky smooth. Beautiful and vibrant.
“Let’s not dwell too long,” Hirano warned. In the distance, there was a looming mountain feature that Hirano pointed out. “I reckon that’s our target. No system announcement yet so we probably haven’t triggered an event yet.”
By the time they reached the mountain, they could see a rather large cave opening for them to enter. It was dark and had the stench of rot. Both of them covered their noses as they began to venture in. It only took them a few seconds for their eyes to adjust to the dim lighting and a voice to appear above them. “Game: The Dragon’s Cave. Please do your best to survive!”
The mocking voice of the system always made Hirano seethe. As if they were actually rooting for them to survive.
“A dragon?” Kagi repeated, “Stay by my side, Hirano-san. This could be dangerous.”
Hirano obliged and stood back to back to Kagi. Neither of them detected motion for the longest stretch and the system had nothing to say to them aside from some laughter. The air around them was heavy and everything in them was telling them to flee.
“Kagi-kun,” Hirano whispered suddenly, “Do you hear that?”
“I didn’t. Must be targeted. What did they say?”
“A voice asked me where we are...should it simply be the Dragon’s Cave?” Hirano eyed the walls cautiously. There seemed to be faint markings on there. It was very much unlike their language but he could make out a dragon symbol and thus submitted his answer which resulted in a correct ding noise. “Listen out for questions,” Hirano reminded Kagi.
When they reached another wall full of scratches, Hirano traced his hands against the marks. “A fight happened here. Judging by the side of these slashes, the dragon is not something we can fight ourselves...”
Kagi clutched Hirano’s arm, “Whatever you do, run if the dragon finds us.”
“I can’t leave you behind.”
“Please, Hirano-san.”
He never had the chance to keep his promise. Not when they continued to answer questions till they reached the center of the cave and saw the source of the rotten scent.
“What is your enemy?”
Kagi stared at Hirano and repeated the question once more only to ask aloud, “The dragon?” But Hirano froze as he realized their mistake right as the buzzer indicated their answer was incorrect. In the center, laid none other than the dragon they were desperately trying to avoid. Horrified eyes landed on one another. Mistakes weren’t tolerated. The dragon wasn’t their enemy... there was something or someone else lurking in this cave.
Strong enough to kill this beast.
And a shadow of a figure seemed to stand atop the dragon. Wailing at them. “Kill Dragon. Free Souls. Kill Alive.”
“Dark Spirits activated. To sedate the spirits, the power of the dragon is necessary. For years, the dragon had done its best to preserve the peace in this town, yet the townsfolk only felt the need to kill them and steal the dragon’s eggs! So sad! Please do your best to survive!”
“The village, we need to get the eggs back,” Hirano yelled against the noise. They sprinted down the hallway but their mistake was going to cost them dearly.
It was too late, as a claw grabbed him and began to pull him towards the wall.
“Hirano-san!” Kagi screamed, grabbed onto Hirano’s hand, “You can’t.”
“Go, find the egg,” Hirano yelled back, struggling to free his hand from Kagi.
It was a trap. They couldn’t have known the dragon’s importance. They couldn’t have known about a village. They couldn’t have known any of this. They were set up to fail from the very beginning. They were doomed.
“I can’t let you do that,” Kagi finally said, tears in his eyes. With one fell swoop, he pulled Hirano away from their grasp. With one final hug, Kagi let himself take Hirano’s place. “I love you, Hirano-san. Please survive.”
And with that, Kagi vanished with a smile on his face.
“The spirits are sedated with blood. Please use this chance to escape.”
“Shut up!” Hirano yelled, tears rolling down his face. “Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.” It no longer mattered that he had the chance to steal back the egg. It no longer mattered that he completed the game. What continued to weigh on him was that it was supposed to be him. He was supposed to die. Kagi should’ve been able to get out of here alive.
So even as he returned outside the Complex, he felt nothing.
The world was too cruel.
Hirano was at a loss of words. This last story struck a little too close to a twisted reality of home. He truly couldn’t imagine sacrificing Kagi for his own sake. And even if he could, he could never wish that upon anyone ever. What a cruel world Kagi had created.
“At least in this world, you live your life out. You retire soon after.”
“Out of choice or out of necessity?”
Kagi thought about it, “I think you would have become the next generation of mentors for people wanting to challenge the games. And you would have done them so proud. They would have looked up to you.”
Was that a truly ideal future?
Hirano couldn’t find happiness in that ending. But at the very least, he would not let that happen here and now. This time, they could find happiness. Both of them. In this world, he wouldn’t let this “history” repeat itself.
“I’m not going to add on to this...story. C’mon, it's late already.” Hirano finally stopped their stories. The last one was going to haunt him if he dwelled on it too long. “Get ready for bed. You still have practice bright and early in the morning.”
Like a child who wanted to protest that they weren’t tired yet, Kagi rocked back and forth, “But where are your moles, Hirano-san? We’ve only been talking about mine the whole time. It’s only fair if you tell me about yourself.”
“We were talking about hypotheticals... I did not learn anything new about you,” Hirano pointed out but damn Kagi’s pleading face. “...my most prominent ones are on my upper arm.”
“Can I use my daily touch on this?”
Hirano blinked slowly. Perhaps it was the fun they had earlier or his fatigue catching up that made him agree. And before he knew it, Kagi had scooted over to Hirano’s side and long fingers were lifting the cuff of his shirt. Doing so revealed three moles, almost like they were lined up and curving into his shoulder. Beautiful.
A light touch found their way by following the dots. Circling around the shoulder joint to once again follow the trail back home.
That was plenty to send Kagi’s heart skipping.
But he peeled himself away from Hirano. Time was up.
They both stared at each other for a moment. There was an exchange of unspoken words. How much Kagi wanted to let Hirano know about how his heart was overfilling. But as he promised, he would give Hirano the time to fall in love with him.
Please, would you allow me to love you in this life?
Hirano broke the silence with an afterthought, “Wasn’t there another saying, like your moles are where you were kissed in a previous life by your soulmate or something?” He also recalled his classmates throwing that story around before. Not that he believed in either tale, but at least this one was less morbid. It was very uncharacteristic of him to bring up something like this but the atmosphere was getting to him.
Kagi gasped, “Hirano-san, I didn’t know you were such a romantic!”
“Shut it,” Hirano protested. He was not a romantic. He was simply stating something he had heard. “Unless you want to test your theory.”
“You would never kill me!” Kagi protested. “You’ll never be able to find a replacement roommate this late in the semester! Don’t do it!”
“Fair point.”
Kagi blurted out, “Plus, I’d much rather test your theory!”
His theory. On kisses?! Hirano flushed red. “What? You--”
Needless to say, they did end up getting a noise complaint that night. It may or may not have been due to Hirano throwing pillows at Kagi’s bed and Kagi falling off said bed in an attempt to dodge the barrage-- the report said that the residents refused such claims.
Guess it’ll remain a mystery for now.