Chapter Text
"Мой господин"
Alya spoke in the same cadence as her other Russian mutterings, but those who can understand what she says will notice the odd word choice. "My lord"
Now, Gospodin is usually only used by posh establishments in the same way the word 'Sir' would be. That's how Kuze understood it when she spoke of it, going by it's infrequent use in the old Mosfilms. However, that word could also be used in any situation where service is involved, getting linked into the great subculture of master-servant play, which is certainly in Alya's peripheral thoughts.
"Мой уважаемый господин" (My honoured lord)
She added upon it, deepening her word’s respectfulness while hiding her embarrassment inside. ‘This is so embarrassing…’ ,she thought while grinning, ‘...but at the same time, it feels right… relieving even’.
“See you”, she added upon her words, now in Japanese, by plainly, yet warmly, sending her goodbye to Kuze, who responded in kind. He did ask for a translation as she went out, and he got her usual answer of her calling him an idiot. Alya quickly scooted off, as she's simply excited to come home early, which the Student Council elections simply didn't allow for most afternoons. Luckily, the pre-election campaign ban is now in place, so even if she wanted to, she can't campaign anymore. That energy is better preserved for the last speech before the start of the elections.
While she may talk like a lowly serf, she never thought about acting like one. Her proud self couldn't accept such a fate. Yet, there's another part of her who wants to throw that pride away, and let somebody else lead her way. An alluring siren song compared to the stressful life of an endless grind to be on top of everything. One that started harping on the day she first went on her deep trance, making it easy for her to immediately lose herself when she focused on Kuze’s finger and on Suou’s voice. A few days after that, she started using that phrase more frequently.
At least for now, she manages to keep the sirens at bay in school. But, after bonding with her sister at their small abode for the night, after locking her doors and laying on her comfortable bed, she slips in her airpods, and plays an audio file she made, a file she justified as a way for her to relax in a tense Student Council election, but also a file that places her in a deep trance.
She discovered such files when she was trying to find a perfect solution to both satisfy her urges, and to keep it hidden from the people she loved in fear of being humiliated. And tonight, she'll let herself follow the flute that calls her. Her conscious mind immediately gave way to the relaxing voice of the file, as her body became limp, all focused on the voice.
In her first files, it is simply herself being placed in a trance and shortly being awoken, like a quick trip inside her mind. But that's not enough. She wanted to go further, to follow suggestions, and to remain entranced for longer. And when AI voice became usable, she quickly picked up on script writing, and started making her own bespoke files to get her fix of servicing someone.
For a reason she can't explain, that urge got more satisfied when she once experimented in making herself believe that she's a medieval serf, serving under a lord. A kind lord, but a demanding one as well. She reckoned it's due to her mild interest in the times of Rurik, rationalising it as a yearning for a fun adventure into a simpler time, never wanting to admit that it's simply a means to submission, with a dash of Russian cultural spice.
As the file woke her up, while reality may still say that she's still in her room, her eyes told her that she's in a wooden house, with a fire on her side and a rough bed on her back. In front, a throne, where her dear Gospodin sat. Nevermind that her image of her Gospodin is simply a black haired black eyed asiatic man on a coat, that's not inspired by someone in her real life. Nay, this is her only life that her mind could recall, serving a Mongol lord. And as she sees him, she does what a proper serf should do. She knelt on the soft mud (or in actuality, carpet) floor, and prostrated to kiss his battle worn feet before raising her head again and saying “My lord, how do you command me?” in Russian.
And so, she was commanded to clean up the loot he won in battle, which in reality was her room she purposely left disorganised as she prefers to clean in trance. He orders her again to now fetch him tea, with her leaving the yurt and going into the outdoor wood-powered kitchen (or in actuality, their modern electric kitchen) and brewing the tea herself. Her disconnect with reality with hypnotic suggestions is both impressive and worrying.
After she served her Lord's tea, she watched intently, kneeling, him drinking her work. While at the same time in reality, she's mindlessly drinking her own tea. Her lord, satisfied with her service, laid his back on the bed she woke up from earlier. She followed suit, sitting in between his legs, being headpatted, before she was lulled by slumber. A scene now routine for her.
She'll need all the relaxation she needs, for tomorrow will be a day that she needs to exert a lot of her energy.
=<>=
Alya sat on the chair, nervously watching upon the volunteers counting the ballots. She gave it all in her speech in front of the stage, as well as Kuze. There was massive applause from the student body, and she thought that they did well. But then Yuki gave hers, and she didn't go down without a fight, loud applauses could also be heard during her speech, making it clear that this will be a tight election.
One by one, the ballot boxes were opened, their contents laid bare, and placed on a tally that they, the candidates and the student council, could all see. As they read out more ballots, the piles of 正 for Alya's and Yuki’s name kept racing downwards in lockstep. But then, Yuki's tally started racing, slowly leaving Alya's behind, and the count stopped. The candidates gathered together, as the results were officially and vocally announced.
“Kujou Arisa Mihairovna, 3955 votes”
“Suou Yuki, 4007 votes”
“Taniyama Sayaka, 67 votes”
“The Election Committee certifies that Suou Yuki has won this year's Seirei Academy Student Council Election.”
The election committee bowed in front of the candidates and left. Leaving a paralyzed Alya, shocked at how close they got, but also how futile their efforts were.
“You gave a good fight, Alya. Almost got me there, but I guess I still have my edge.” Yuki chuckled, before reaching her hand. Alya regained her bearings and shook Yuki’s hand while barely wearing a facade of a smile. “Congratulations for your win, Suou-san” she said before being interrupted by Yuki, “It's Yuki, not Suou.”
“Well then, Yuki-san, I must go”, the humiliated Russian bowed before starting to slowly walk out, her smile collapsing to a frown as soon as her face was hidden from their eyes. Kuze quickly bid his goodbye to his competitor, asking to talk later, before chasing his running mate.
“Alya!” he caught her almost aloofly walking on the gates. His hands held her shoulders, now shaking as she's barely hanging on.
“Kuze, I apologise for wasting your efforts in my futile folly”, she refused to turn back and stare at him, deeming herself unworthy.
“Alya, please, look at me. It's not your fault-” he said before quickly being cut off by her “It is! You carried me through all of this, while I… the one who wanted to win… contributed nothing…”. Her voice died down as guilt overwhelmed her.
“You did a lot, you're the one who led our campaign-”
“The one who fumbled it…”
Kuze, at this point, knew that pushing it further was pointless. So, he ceased. “I guess it's not the right time to talk. But I want you to remember that we gave our best, and you're a great running mate to have. I apologise for my shortcomings-”
“Don't apologise, идиот.” she said, now with a tinge of annoyance. Shaking off his shoulders, she continued walking home. Kuze shouted “See you!”, but that remained unanswered.
At home, her sister immediately went to meet her at the door, where she saw the sour mood of her face, the tears obviously starting to flow. She quietly approached her and started patting her head.
“You've done what you could” she comforted the sobbing mess, who hugged back.
=<>=
While time passed, her tears dried out, and she finished the tea her sister brewed to comfort her. She parted with her sister and went to her room, habitually locking it. Then, the tears really fell, as she felt stupid that she even tried, and also guilt from the fact that she wrapped Kuze in her futile fight.
A man that seems to know better in making and achieving his aims. A man that could lead effectively if he's not dragged by his burdens. And yet, a man that placed his trust on a losing horse like Alya. A man she has disappointed. It's clear, in her hazy anxiety-filled mind, that he's too bright for her. That she shouldn't burden him, and leave him.
But she knows he wouldn't let that happen. He'll find a way to keep her with him, making her burden him more.
Then, a solution came to mind. Since she's clearly not an equal with him, why not let herself be a tool for his goals. She can't succeed in her own goals anyways, her mind reasoned while omitting the things she did succeed in by herself.
So, maybe just let her ambitions be of Kuze’s, her actions for Kuze, her mind dedicated in thinking ways to further help Kuze. That will be how she repays her guilt to Kuze, she thought. Pay him with her whole self.
If one has a hammer, one tends to see every problem as a nail. If one is a trance junkie, one tends to solve their problems with hypnosis.
And so, fueled by guilt and despair, she spent the rest of the night writing out a script that she could sleep in, and outlines for further scripts. Pasted it in an AI voice generator, and played it on her airpods as she slept.
“I'm a tool”
“I'm Kuze's tool”
“Always his tool, whatever happens”
“Never his equal, whatever happens”
“He's my lord”
“His ambitions are my ambitions”
“His commands must be obeyed”
“Must remain submissive to him”
“Must improve to better serve him”
“Must worship him”
“Must be a good tool”
“I love obeying him”
“I love being used by him”
“I love being owned by him”
“I love being a good tool”
“I love worshipping him”
“Hate thinking freely”
“Hate being assertive”
“Hate disobedience”
Those lines formed the core truths that she drilled into her white head as she slept that night, as well as through the weekend by endlessly listening to an ambient reinforcement version of her file. As expected, Masha didn't notice a thing while her sister was brainwashing herself to be dependent on Kuze.
She also added that if she's in a private space with him, she must act with deep reverence and submission, like a serf does to her lord, in a separate file she made.
And when Monday hit, she felt happy as she walked out, knowing that this will be her last day as a free human.
=<>=
The class ended, with everyone packing their bags. Alya didn't have her usual assertive vibe, but rather, she seems to now blend in the background, making her feel more like Ayano more than anyone else. She didn't really interact with Kuze for the whole day, which Kuze understood as her still feeling sour about the results. In reality, it's due to her losing interest in teasing him, as that's simply not what good tools do. She focused on the class, and in planning for the night.
That plan was now put in motion as she stood up efficiently, asking him “Kuze-kun, mind if we go to your home now?”. Spoken at a lower volume than usual. With her lifeless eyes unnoticed by Kuze.
Kuze complied immediately, as he thought of this as an opening for a thorough talk in discussing their fair and square defeat in the election. ‘She needs all the emotional support she could get’ he thought.
After a few train transfers, they were able to reach his apartment, where there's already a set of shoes on the door. A sign of his pesky little sister getting in. At same time, Alya placed her shoes besides, not minding the other shoe.
“Alya, could you wait for a bit?” He asked before checking that gremlin, reading another manga about siblings.
Alya, now struggling to keep her submissiveness and reverence, responded with “Yes, Kuze-sama”, which didn't register on Kuze's mind to be anything exceptional, distracted with getting her sister away.
After a few moments of shoving his sister in the closet, he went back to the hallway, now seeing Alya bare herself, prostrating on the cold wooden floor in front of him.
“Your tool awaits your orders, my honoured господин”