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p is for the painful way she makes me feel some days
“god, i said i’m sorry already, courtney, it was an honest mistake!” gwen shouted, her scowl meaner than courtney would’ve liked it to be. they had a date yesterday, and gwen completely stood her up, claiming that she had just ‘forgotten’.
“oh, so it’s an honest mistake to just forget your date with your girlfriend?!” courtney yelled back.
gwen scoffed and threw her arms in the arm. “i don’t know what you want from me anymore, i said sorry like, a million times already!”
“i want to know why!” courtney demanded, her expression softening as she stepped closer. “it’s not like you to forget, so i want you to tell me why. what’s going on, gwen?”
“i just..” gwen sighed, burying her head in her hands. “i’m honestly just really burnt out. i knew about our date, but i was just so emotionally overwhelmed that i couldn’t take it. i’m sorry, courtney, i should’ve told you i wasn’t feeling great or at the very least, canceled it.”
with a huff, courtney flicked her head. “yeah, you should’ve.”
but immediately after, she brought gwen into a tight hug. “but it’s ok. your mental health always comes first. just be more open with me, ok? i’m here for you, even if you don’t want to talk and just want someone with you.”
“thanks, courtney,” gwen mumbled with a sniffle, her faint smile warming courtney’s heart.
“i love you,” courtney said, pressing a soft kiss on gwen’s forehead. “i’ll always be here for you, so don’t leave me out in the dark, alright?”
“i won’t, i promise,” gwen muttered and nodded, repaying the favor with a kiss on the lips. “i love you too, courtney, i love you so much.”
u is for the utopia, the other times with her
“man, i so don’t want to go to history,” gwen groaned, dragging her feet across the floor. “it’s so boring, i’d rather be hanged upside down till the blood rushes to my head and i explode.”
courtney chuckled. “yeah, i don’t want to either, but we have to.”
just then, gwen grinned with a sly look in her eyes. “i have something else we can do…”
.
.
.
“god, you’re so beautiful,” gwen said breathlessly, “i can’t believe i have you all to myself.”
“shut up,” courtney grumbled, savoring gwen’s taste and the curve of her lips as their tongues intertwined with one another. courtney has never been one to skip class, but she couldn’t pass up the chance to make out with her hot goth girlfriend in her car.
with wandering hands, gwen couldn’t help but slip her hand under courtney’s skirt, her cold touch feeling like heaven on her thighs. getting up, courtney took a seat on gwen’s lap, her arms draped over her shoulders as her eyes begged and pleaded for more. she moaned and whimpered into gwen’s mouth, desperately waiting for gwen to completely ruin her.
she was sure that they’d get in trouble for this later, and her parents might find out and ground her, but courtney didn’t care. how could she when her beautiful girlfriend is kissing her collarbone like she’s delicate and sweet? courtney didn’t know if she was, but gwen loved her like she is and so much more than the world is ready for.
n is for the new wave dreams she had back in her teens
“hey, i have something for you,” gwen said, digging inside her backpack. school had just ended, and as usual, the two went over to one of their houses, this time being gwen’s.
“what is it?” courtney asked. she always loved and cherished all the things gwen gave her. from keychains to pens, courtney absolutely adored them all.
“close your eyes,” gwen instructed, “it’s a surprise. and put your hands out.”
so courtney listened, brimming with anticipation. gwen’s gifts were always the most thoughtful things she’s ever received, so of course she was excited.
“ok, now open,” gwen said just as courtney felt something light be placed on her hands.
it’s a cd that says ‘for my lovely girl’ written messily in a sharpie on top. the case was decorated with stickers and little gemstones that almost shined as bright as gwen’s eyes.
“i burned a bunch of songs that reminded me of you on there.” gwen tucked a strand of hair behind courtney’s ear. “i can’t promise that you’ll like them, but i can promise that i love you.”
pressing a soft kiss to her cheek, courtney felt her heart skip a beat. god, just how much more amazing could her girlfriend get.
“it doesn’t matter if i like them or not, it just matters that you put in all this effort for me.” courtney kissed her back. “thank you, gwen, i already know i’m going to love it.”
getting up, courtney headed for gwen’s hello-kitty cd player. “let’s listen to it right now, i want to know what i remind you of.”
putting it in, the first song that played was ‘the seventh stranger’ by duran duran. courtney wasn’t really sure if this was her taste, but how could it not be with gwen in her arms?
then ‘love for sale’ by the talking heads played followed by some soft cell and psychedelic furs. courtney might not have been able to make out some of the lyrics, but just seeing the lovestruck look on gwen’s face as she swayed to the music meant the world to her.
“let’s dance.”
k is for the kid in her, my p.u.n.k girl
“higher?” gwen asked with a chuckle. “ok, let’s try!”
throwing courtney's little sister kate into the air, the two giggled as gwen caught her, spinning her around afterwards. for the first few times, courtney was annoyed at her sister for having barged in on their time together. gwen was her girlfriend, and courtney wasn’t keen on sharing.
but the more she saw the two of them interact, the more courtney couldn’t help but admire how sickeningly sweet they were being. gwen might not like them, but she’s always been pretty good with kids. maybe that’s why she and her brother are so close, she practically raised him. it wasn’t easy though, especially with her mom at work and dad out of the picture.
“unicorn or pegasus?” kate asked with narrow eyes.
“i would definitely want a unicorn instead of a pegasus, magic is way cooler than flying!” gwen replied with a wide grin before tickling kate’s stomach. the two erupted into a fit of laughter, and courtney just watched with a soft smile and warm heart.
anytime gwen talked about her childhood, it felt strangely responsible, like she never got to enjoy the perks of being a kid. she had her moments, but most of them were with her brother that she had to take care of. now she’s in high school, and gwen’s lost her chance to just be a kid. she grew up too early and too fast, and courtney wished she could take her back.
maybe that was why courtney didn’t mind kate being around anymore. gwen got to just enjoy herself without having to worry about if she was doing enough or if she was making her mom proud. right now, she was just the little girl she never got to be, and courtney couldn’t be happier to be able to witness it with her own two eyes.