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Osaka, Japan

It's the fourth and final day of the SNMMI Annual Meeting, and Jasmine unbuttons her jacket as she takes her seat with other attendees for the final plenary session. Quiet conversations can be heard around her, pero nasa iisang tao lang ang atensyon n’ya.

There’s a woman sitting in the front row of the hall, talking animatedly to a group of scientists, waving her hands here and there to emphasize what she's saying. At least 'yon ang hula n'ya. Jasmine finds herself smiling as she leans back in her seat, eyes still glued to the front, an unreadable look on her face.

The men around her look absolutely smitten. Hindi n’ya rin naman masisi. She knows for a fact na the other woman can hold anyone’s attention once she starts talking and explaining things.

She has this way with her na gugustuhin mong makinig ng kahit gaano katagal. She can make even the most boring topic interesting.

This Society of Nuclear Medicine & Molecular Imaging is quite famous in their field, having been recognized as the premier educational, scientific, research and networking event. One of the best things about this conference, hindi lang s’ya limited sa scientists. Physicians, radiologists, pharmacists, technologists and even laboratory professionals are welcome to submit papers and be part of the audience. It’s an incredible platform with an in-depth view of the latest research and development in the field while also providing insights into practical applications for the clinic, which is the main interest of the medical companies present in here.

Jas is lucky enough to attend. She submitted her paper and it was accepted for a poster presentation. Her schedule was set yesterday, so today she's free to attend any session she's interested in. Plus, this year's meeting is in Japan, so it's easier for her to travel since normally, sa US and Canada ginaganap itong conference.

Nagsalita na ang chairperson, listing the order of the session, specifically the talks and finally the announcement of the Abstract of the Year and the Image of the Year. At the mention of the latter, her eyes flicker back to the woman in front, before she forces herself to concentrate on the speaker, not wanting to miss anything important.

Natapos na magsalita ang dalawang speakers and the chairperson’s introducing the last speaker na.

“Now, for our final speaker, please welcome Dr. Alexandra Arceta…”

Jasmine straightens in her seat, her sole focus on the woman walking to the podium, confidence radiating from her. It’s like the short distance to the stage, ginawa pa n’yang catwalk. Normal ba ‘yon? O applicable lang s’ya sa mga kamukha ni Mama Mary?

“…Lead Physics Algorithm Engineer for CliffHealth. Her talk is entitled, NeuroScan: A New State of the Art Brain-Dedicated PET/CT Scanner. Let’s give her a round of applause.”

Applause echoes through the hall. Jasmine follows, excitement bubbling up inside her. God, she loves this. She loves learning new things, she loves listening to new ideas and developments.

Especially this talk. The previous state of the art brain scanner was the HRRT from Siemens, which by the way is a 20 year old scanner at this point. So with this new machine, equipped with all the new technology and knowledge that scientists, engineers and researchers have accumulated over the past two decades, Jasmine can't wait to see what's in store for them.

“Thank you, Dr. Fields.” Alex smiles at the woman, before turning her attention to her audience with a beaming look on her face.

“Good afternoon, everyone. Thank you for not leaving the conference early and giving me the chance to talk more about our newest machine.”

The crowd erupts in laughter as Jasmine shakes her head, amused at the remark. Wala pa man din sa official introduction ng presentation n’ya, pero kuhang kuha na ang lahat ng tao.

“Hinay hinay lang sa titig, baka matunaw.”

Surprised, lumingon s’ya sa kanan nya, finding her ate Milo who’s currently giving her a teasing smile. Goodness, muntik na nyang malimutan na may kasama nga pala s’ya. She rolls her eyes in response.

“Shut up. Makinig ka na dyan.”

*****

Hindi siguro magandang desisyon na patulan ang ate Milo n’ya dahil ngayon, umiikot na ang paningin ni Jasmine. Seated by the bar, she rubs her hands on her face, hoping na mahismasan s’ya. They’ve been at the bar for the past two hours. Nag-decide sila na pumunta rito after ng conference to unwind, pero ngayon gusto na n’yang umuwi sa hotel at matulog.

“I’ll have rum and coke, please.”

Somebody speaks beside her, her voice so familiar that Jasmine turns to her. Medyo blurry na ang vision ‘nya but she tries her best to get a better look at her.

Huh, tama ba…? It’s her, isn’t it?

Minsan talaga hindi dapat pinagkakatiwalaan si ate Milo lalo na kung wala si ate Cassie to keep her in check. Now, she’s paying the price. Ang budol talaga ng ate n’ya na ‘yon!

With the alcohol in her system, pinatong ni Jasmine ang ulo n’ya sa kamay nya, turning fully to face the newcomer.

“Hello, I know you!” She greets with a drunken smile. Even with her not-so-clear vision, she still finds this woman so stunning. Gorgeous. Ethereal, even.

“Hi.” Had she been sober, she would’ve noticed na iba ang tono ng kaharap n’ya.

“You look drunk,” komento ng katabi n’ya.

“Drunk? Nooo.” Napatigil s’ya saglit, bago suminok, a clear sign that she’s, indeed, drunk.

“Okay, maybe just a little bit. Nabudol ako ng kasama ko eh.” Namumungay na ang mga mata n’ya sa sobrang antok. “Asan na ba ‘yong lokong ‘yon?” Bulong n’ya sa sarili n’ya.

When left alone, parang mga bata talaga sina Milo at Jasmine. Seryoso sila sa trabaho, pero when they’re free and it’s time to have fun, they tend to be childlike sa mga pinag-gagagawa nila.

“I think it’s safest to go back na sa hotel mo.”

Kanina, gusto n’yang bumalik pero ngayon, the opportunity to discuss something with this woman, despite her inebriated state, she can’t let it pass. Even though may malaking chance na she’ll forget whatever they will talk about by tomorrow. O kaya naman ang possibility na ipahiya ang sarili n’ya by saying random shit dahil medyo lasing na s’ya.

“Ayoko pa, andito ka eh. I want to discuss… uh,” kinamot n’ya ang dulo ng ilong nya out of the blue, nangangati eh. “Ano, what was I saying?”

Jasmine thinks she hears a scoff from her companion, pero baka guni guni n’ya lang ‘yon. Tsaka maingay sa bar.

“Sabi mo you want to discuss something…?”

“Oh, yeah! ‘Yong brain phantom na pinakita mo kanina! Occipital lobe lang, pero ano,” hindi alam ni Jasmine kung anong nararamdaman n’ya. Kumakalam ba ang sikmura n’ya? Hindi s’ya mapakali, tapos she’s using the last of her brain cells to form a coherent thought.

“Uh, you planning on creating the whole brain eventually, right?”

Under the faint and dancing lights sa bar, Jasmine can’t fully see Alexandra, so whatever expression’s on the woman’s face right now, hindi n’ya alam.

“Yes, that’s the goal.” A beat, then: “Are you sure you’re okay ba?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She waves her hand dismissively. “Niiiiiice! And you what, based it on brain atlas or something?”

“Yes.”

Apaka-cold naman ni ate girl. Nagtatanong lang eh.

“Do you think your phantom, the whole brain if finished eventually, will be better than the Hoffman phantom? Since, you know, right now, ‘yon ang mas ginagamit for validation.” Napasinok ulit s’ya, pero there’s also a growing pressure around her chest area at parang umaakyat papunta sa lalamunan n’ya. Oh shux, ano ba ‘tong nararamdaman n’ya?

On a serious note though, if Jasmine can see herself right now, she’d be damn proud because what do you mean she can still handle this kind of conversation with Dr. Arceta?

“Of course. Our phantom’s more accurate, and we based it sa atlas nga, so it’s more realistic.”

Tatango sana si Jasmine, pero lalo lang lumala ang pag-ikot ng paligid n’ya. She would’ve face-planted sa sahig if not for the arm that goes around her waist and that soft, comforting surface kung saan nakapatong na ang ulo n’ya.

Unknown to her, she’s literally leaning against the CliffHealth employee right now and unashamedly rubbing her face against the soft fabric of the woman’s shirt.

Alex’s arms are supporting her, keeping her from completely falling off of the stool.

“Jasmine, are you okay?” Alex does her best to look down despite the woman’s full weight on her. Hinawi n’ya ang buhok ng dalaga.

“Owkayyyyy.” Jasmine slurs at lalong nagsumiksik kay Alex. At the same time, lalo pa n’yang naramdaman ang pag-akyat ng kung ano man sa lalamunan n’ya and before she knows it…

The last thing she hears is a loud curse bago tuluyang nawalan s’ya ng malay.

*****

“Bakit daw tayo pinapatawag, Ate Milo?” Tanong ni Jasmine, nagtataka dahil sa biglaang announcement ng Department Head nila.

“Hindi mo alam?”

“Huh? Ang alin?”

Bago pa man makasagot si ate Milo n’ya, dumating na si Prof. Goldie who has a big smile on her face.

“Good morning, everyone! I’m sorry for the short notice, may gusto lang akong ipakilala at i-welcome kaya ko kayo pinatawag.”

Nagtinginan ang mga Professors ng Math and Physics Department dahil sa sinabi ng head nila.

“Sino po, Ma’am?” Tanong ni Prof. Eggsy, one of the Math professors na nagha-handle ng Calculus.

As far as she knows, wala naman silang bagong bisita. No school or department event na nalimutan nila. In fact, two months pa bago magkaroon so they still have plenty of time to prepare.

Sakto namang bumukas ang pinto ng faculty nila, revealing none other than…

Alexandra Arceta.

Nanlaki ang mga mata ni Jasmine sa sobrang gulat.

What the heck? Akala ko next week pa?

“Good morning!”

“Everyone, I know kilala n’yo na s’ya, but this is Dr. Alexandra Arceta. She’ll be joining us starting today and she’ll teach Instrumentation Laboratory IV with Dr. Robles and pati ‘yong lecture of the same class. She will also handle Instrumentation III once nag-start na ang maternity leave ni Dr. Joey two months from now.”

“Hello everyone! I’m Alexandra Arceta, pero you can call me Alex nalang since we’ll be working together naman for a long time. Please take good care of me po!” Bati ng nakangiting dalaga na yumuko rin ng kaunti.

Their eyes meet. That first clash, she’s not kidding when she says na lumakas ang kabog ng dibdib n’ya. Jasmine’s shocked asf, habang si Alex naman mukhang sobrang saya lang to be there, it seems like. With her tan suit and black undershirt, she looks like a model straight out of Vogue magazine. How can someone look so… unfailingly good? And charming?

Oh, she’s wearing her specs din…

“Dr. Arceta!” Ate Milo, being a close friend of Alex’s for years now, hugs the newcomer.

“Dr. Ricalde, it’s so great to see you again. I’m looking forward to working with you!” Nakatawang bati ni Alex, hugging Milo back. Even Jasmine, she only calls her Ate Milo ‘pag sila-sila lang. But when they’re in front of their other colleagues, most especially their head, they address each other formally out of respect.

Ang iba nilang kasama ay bumati rin sa dalaga, pero more on hand-shake at beso lang. While they know Alex, it’s more like they just heard of her from publications, symposiums and conferences. Si Milo lang talaga ang nakakakilala ng personal sa kanya. And well, Jasmine, she supposes.

Alex is naturally friendly and charming, it won’t be hard for her to be friends with the people in their Department pati na rin sa College nila. Although she has a feeling na they will be shocked once they know how different she is inside the classroom, when it’s time to handle business, ika nga.

Their Department is in for a ride. Alex Arceta will take everything and everyone by storm. Unang una, having an expert in the field joining the university? From a well-known company? She’s like the doorway between the academic and industry side of things. They will all learn a lot from each other.

“I’m sure everyone will take good care of you, Alex. Again, welcome to the Math and Physics Department! If you have any questions, andito naman sina Dr. Ricalde at Dr. Robles to help you.” Sabi ng head nila.

At the mention of her name, she snaps out of her trance-like state. Kasi naman, she’s not expecting Alex to start today! Tapos, nahihiya pa s’ya dahil naaalala n’ya ang nangyari sa club sa Osaka after the SNMMI Conference. When she drunkenly talked to her and then after that…

Oh god, nakakahiya talaga. Tapos andito na s’ya ngayon…

“Dr. Robles, hindi mo ba ako iwe-welcome?” This time, Alex directly talks to her and she can’t help it, she feels her ears and neck heat up at the attention she’s receiving from the woman. Nakaka-pressure pero at the same time, it’s quite endearing the way she calls her name.

Hala, si bading.

Nakakatunaw kasi talaga ang mga tingin nito, at kadalasan nagsho-short circuit ‘yong utak n’ya. Clearing her throat, she bravely meets her gaze and smiles shyly.

“Welcome to UST, Dr. Arceta. We’re really happy you joined our team. I’m sure marami kaming matututunan sa’yo, lalo na ang mga estudyante natin.”

Halos mapunit na ang mukha ni Alex sa ngiti n’ya ngayon.

“Thank you! I’m sure I’ll have the time of my life here. I can’t wait!”

Ate Milo said it before, pero when Alex is in her ‘chill-mode’, she has this golden retriever-like energy in her. Hindi naman sa sinasabi nilang mukhang aso ang dalaga. Lord, kung mukhang aso ‘to, ano nalang silang mga karaniwang tao? Ipis?

“O s’ya, since you’ve met everyone na, let’s go to my office muna. I’ll just explain some things, okay?” Tumango naman si Alex at tumingin ulit sa kanya. Jasmine can’t explain the look on her face, pero hindi n’ya rin naman maalis ang tingin n’ya sa dalaga. She offers another smile because she can’t help it, kusang lumalabas ang mga ngiti sa labi n’ya.

“You can go back na to your classes. Thanks, everyone. Let’s arrange a group lunch or dinner soon. Dr. Ricalde, please coordinate nalang everyone’s schedule, please?”

“Noted po, Doc. I’ll let you know about our decision.”

Alex gives her one last look and a nod bago sila nagpaalam ni Prof. Goldie.

Nang nakaalis na ang dalawa, umalis na rin ang iba pang Professors pabalik sa mga classrooms nila. Meanwhile, Jasmine just stands there, natulala ulit as she’s still processing the fact na first day ni Alex ngayon.

“Why do you look so surprised to see her?” Milo asks her with a puzzled look on her face. “Alam mo namang magtuturo s’ya rito, right?”

Jas can only stare blankly in front of her. “I… yes, of course, alam ko…”

“Dahil ba naka-salamin sya?”

She looks at Milo stupidly, then to the space Alex vacated. Then and now, hindi pa rin n’ya alam paano i-handle ang isang Alexandra Arceta na nakasalamin, sa totoo lang. Paano ba pakalmahin ang puso n’ya? Paano ba sabihan ang utak n’ya na huwag nang ma-blanko?

Don’t get her wrong, she’s completely on-board with Dr. Arceta’s arrival, thrilled even. She’s simply caught off-guard, since akala n’ya hindi pa today ang on-boarding date ng dalaga.

Sana may warning next time, Lord. Awa nalang talaga sa bading oh.

“Ang rupok mo talaga, ewan ko sa’yo. Bumalik ka na sa klase mo! Tama na ‘yan!”

*****

“Knock knock.”

Jasmine stands in front of Alex’s office, feeling giddy at the prospect of spending more time with her and discussing things. Hindi lang ganda ang meron ang bago nilang Professor, sobrang galing din ng utak n’yan kaya naman down bad na down bad si bading.

Ako, ako si bading. Ako ang down bad na bading.

“Dr. Robles!”

Ano ba naman ‘tong si Alex? Kung makangiti akala mo sobrang saya na makita s’ya?

Mag-ano ba tayo? Bakit ganyan ka ngumiti sa’kin?

“I thought you won’t visit me. Sobrang busy mo eh.” Dagdag pa nito. She looks like she’s sulking, much to Jasmine’s amusement.

“Hala, si oa. Kung ano ano na naman iniisip mo, Alex.” Lumapit na s’ya rito at naupo sa harap ng table, making herself comfortable sa upuan.

Ang faculty room ng Math and Physics Department is newly renovated. Mas lumaki na ang space nila kaya naman lahat ng Professors ay may kanya-kanyang office na. Before, they used to have an open floor plan and only Prof. Goldie had an office. Pero they now enjoy the privacy of their own offices, much to everyone’s relief and satisfaction.

“Mana sayo.”

Nagpapacute ba ‘to sakin? ‘Pag ako talaga bumigay…

“Anyway, to what do I owe this pleasure?”

Napa-iling naman s’ya sa mga iniisip n’ya. She came here for business, so she pushes away any lingering thoughts of ‘pagpapacute’ dahil hindi maisasalba ng ka-cutan ang mga thesis ng estudyante nila.

“I want to discuss ‘yong potential thesis topics ng mga students natin. I know we still don’t know how many student’s we’ll have, pero I was hoping sana na we can have a solid plan by the time they come to us.”

Jasmine watches in real time kung paano sumeryoso ang mukha ni Alex. She has a bubbly personality, pero nag-iibang anyo talaga ang dalaga ‘pag oras na ng trabaho. Jas feels privileged enough to witness this, sa totoo lang.

Both Jasmine and Alex have background sa Medical Physics. Instrumentation IV is also known as MedPhy sa Department nila. For the past few years, Jasmine has been the person teaching both the lecture and lab classes, but this semester will be different. Alex has taken over the lecture because she's the more experienced and better option talaga based on her background. For the lab class, dalawa silang nagtuturo nito.

Jasmine, for her part, also has background sa Electronics. She teaches Electronics I and II sa junior and senior Applied Physics students ng Department nila. Between Electronics and MedPhy, she enjoys the former than the latter. There’s just something inherently fun when you deal with circuits and logic gates. Not to mention when you build something out of nowhere? It’s very satisfying. Kaya nga building a robot ang project ng seniors ngayon. Mage-enjoy rin kasi s’ya na i-double check ang designs nila. And that’s also the reason kaya she has no qualms letting Alex take over all the MedPhy classes.

Alex, meanwhile, really comes from the MedPhy background. Her PhD and subsequent work experiences were all focused on Nuclear Medicine, specifically on PET/CT scanners. She worked with CliffHealth, which is a direct competitor of Siemens na isang technology company mostly focused on healthcare and some other industries. So, when it comes to the background of different modalities (X-RAY, MRI, PET, CT), Alex is the best person to ask talaga.

Sobrang swerte ng mga students na naabutan nila si Alex. They will learn a lot of things sa Instrumentation IV, and they will surely enjoy it. Actually, nae-enjoy na nila. Jas is well aware sa mga sinasabi ng mga seniors. Parang alam na alam daw talaga ni Dr. Arceta ‘yong tinuturo n’ya.

“Okay, sounds good to me. Do you have any on-going projects with your graduating mentees? Like those na pwede i-continue ng incoming seniors?” Tanong naman ni Alex.

Jasmine currently has one student under her, pero hindi ganoon ka-komplikado ang topic kaya kinaya n’ya mag-isa. At isa lang din talaga ang pumili kay Jasmine as thesis adviser dahil most students chose the Chemistry Professors. At least the current graduating batch. Hopefully, the new ones would choose the more Physics side of things.

“I have one mentee, pero the project we have should be finished by the time he graduates.”

Alex hums. “What project is this?”

Napa-ayos s’ya ng upo, a smile slowly appearing on her lips because she’s going to talk about something na gusto ny’a talaga. She adjusts her black-rimmed glasses before speaking.

“Gait analysis. So, as you know, it’s majorly used in assessing the progression of physical therapy. But usually, clinical gait analyzers use bulky and expensive equipment. Currently, most researchers and manufacturers are working together to thinks of ways on how to miniaturize them. Sa project namin, we collaborated with a Singaporean school. I met a Professor a year or two ago and we stayed in contact.”

There’s a spark of recognition in Alex’s eyes as she starts her explanation.

“‘Yong project namin, we focused on the miniaturization part. My student, with the help of our collaborator, developed a portable wireless gait monitoring device with a microcontroller unit that can also be applied at point-of-care. So bale, the system uses three accelerometers na naka-mount sa leg ng patient to determine the leg’s stride, angle and acceleration. I won’t get into further details, pero that’s the basic idea of it.”

Alex’s soft laugh catches her attention, and she looks a bit confused.

“Ano? Bakit ka tumatawa?”

“Wala, ang cute mo lang mag-kwento about something you’re so passionate about. Para kang bata sa isang candy store.” Pang-aasar pa ni Alex, which prompts Jasmine to roll her eyes.

Cute daw ako? Lord.

“Sus, if I know, ganyan ka rin ‘pag research projects mo na ang pag-uusapan.” Ganti naman n’ya, trying to hide the fact that nag-iinit na naman ang mga tenga n’ya dahil sa sinabi ni Alex.

“You’re right about that. Pero can I just say, I love that this project is related to physical therapy.”

Kung may definition ng proud sa ginagawa n’ya, it’s probably Jasmine’s face right now. “You know how much I wanted to work sa hospital. But since sa iba ako dinala ng tadhana, I’ll just do my best to work on something na makakatulong sa mga patients.”

Noong bata pa s’ya, she really wanted to be a doctor. Pero dahil nanood s’ya nong isang teleserye tapos pinakita ‘yong nasunog na katawan ng isang biktima, para s’yang na-trauma kaya hindi na n’ya tinuloy maging doctor. Pero ngayon, masaya naman s’ya na nakakatulong pa rin s’ya kahit paano sa mga may sakit at nangangailangan.

Kaya iba rin talaga ang saya ni Jasmine everytime she goes to the hospital - either for routine check-up or just to talk to some doctors regarding some academic stuff.

“I know. Pero nasabi ko na ba? I’m so proud of you, Jas.”

Ngumiti s’ya sa nasabi ng kausap n’ya. “Nasabi mo na dati, pero hearing you say that over and over again never gets old. Thank you, Alex.”

Grabe ka na talaga, Alex. Hinay hinay lang, mahina kalaban, lods!

“Oh, let’s continue na. Your turn.” She motions for Alex to continue speaking.

“Okay, so it seems like clean slate tayo this semester. What do you think we should do? Are we going to be co-advisors sa mga students or do you want me to take one, and then you take the other in case we get more and then separate topics sila?”

Natahimik saglit si Jasmine, letting her thoughts settle and mentally stepping back to take in the bigger picture. Now that there’s actually someone who has MedPhy background, she’s more confident in venturing to that side of research.

“I might have more projects with that Singaporean school in the future but for now, one collaboration project pa lang. So, I’m thinking of doing MedPhy projects this time. I’m hoping din na you’ll take the lead since you have more experience and this is really your expertise. But don’t worry, I’ll still be hands-on naman and take over din if necessary.”

Don’t get her wrong. Hindi dahil mas may experience si Alex, eh wala nang alam si Jasmine.

“I was never worried about that, Jasmine. I won’t ever question your abilities. I’m perfectly aware sa strengths mo.” Alex assures her with a nod. Jas feels relieved upon hearing those words. It’s one thing to know it, but it’s a completely another thing to hear being acknowledged by this woman. The validation she’s feeling right now… hindi n’ya ma-explain ng maayos. Basta masaya s’ya, at payapa ang pagkatao n’ya.

Maliban sa puso n’ya talaga na hindi na talaga tumitigil sa kakadabog ng malakas sa presensya ni Alex. Si Jasmine na ‘yong napapagod talaga sa inaakto ng puso n’ya. It’s a good thing Alex can’t see it, otherwise it would be very, very embarrassing.

“But okay, I don’t mind taking the lead. Actually, perfect timing because I just got permission from CliffHealth to share some software with the Department. They agreed that the students can also do some work for us.”

Alex is a full-time instructor now, but she’s still a consultant for CliffHealth. That means for very specific work events, kailangan puntahan ni Alex ‘yon sa Japan.

Now, you might be wondering, bakit umalis s’ya sa CliffHealth as a full-time employee? Bakit s’ya nagtuturo na ngayon sa Pilipinas?

Well, while Alex loved working for CliffHealth and developing softwares and leading engineering projects, iba pa rin talaga ang nasa sariling bansa. Add the fact na gusto rin talaga n’yang magturo. It’s been a dream of hers and besides, nag-promise s’ya na after five years sa CliffHealth, babalik na s’ya ng Pilipinas to pursue her other dream.

No regrets leaving behind a company if that means staying in her own country surrounded by her family and friends. And it’s not like Alex is fully cut-off na sa CliffHealth. She still has ties with them, and she’s still getting handsomely paid by them as a consultant nga.

Win-win situation, no doubt. Best of both worlds.

“Really?” Excited naman na tanong n’ya. “They agreed? Nice! I can also use them, right? I want to try kung ano man ‘yang software na ise-share n’yo sa amin.”

“Yes, you can.” Alex confirms. “I think they’re also willing to shoulder some expenses din. We might be able to afford two workstations at least, para may magamit ang mga students. It will be encrypted with the company’s firewall and software security, but that’s fine. I already expected that.”

“‘Yun oh! Ang lodicakes talaga ng isang Alex Arceta.” Natatawang sambit n’ya, habang tumataas-bumababa ang mga kilay n’ya.

Napailing naman si Alex sa sinabi at inakto n’ya. “Lodicakes talaga? Nahahawa ka na kay Milo, ikaw talaga.”

Jasmine laughs louder at the mention of their close friend. “Mana sa akin ‘yon si Ate Milo, ano ka ba.”

“Ambot, Jasmine. Let’s continue discussing ano na ‘yong project na ipapagawa natin sa kanila.”

“Yes, boss!”

*****

Alex steps out of her office with a folder in hand. Two weeks after her initial meeting with Jasmine regarding their potential thesis topics, she manages to have a talk with her superior at CliffHealth and they finalize what the company can afford to share with the department and kung anong pwedeng topics ‘yong makatulong on both sides.

She moves her gaze towards the other side of the faculty room when she hears Jasmine’s laugh. Maraming beses na n’yang narinig ang tawa ng kasamahan n’ya, pero it never gets old to hear it. She laughs with her whole heart, talagang bigay na bigay ang saya n’ya.

Kausap ni Jasmine si Eggsy, another Physics Professors sa Department she thinks she hears words like quantum theory and that movie Ant-man. They might have their specializations now pero it doesn’t mean na they don’t know other Physics stuff.

Jas likes the nuclear particle physics side, while Alex prefers astrophysics. She personally thinks that Big Bang and relativity are more interesting than quantum field theory or superstring theory. Don’t tell Jas about it though, baka abutin sila ng sampung taon if they start debating about their preferred physics theories.

She stands there in front of her office, just watching the exchange Jas is having with their colleague. Hindi n’ya namalayan na nakangiti na s’ya until someone clears their throat beside her.

Forcing herself to tear her gaze away from the talking woman, she sees Milo na palipat-lipat ng tingin sa kanya at Jasmine.

“Grabe namang titig ‘yon. Kanina pa kita tinatawag meron ni hindi mo man lang ata ako narinig.”

Natawa naman si Alex bago tumingin ulit sa harap n’ya. “I just find her cute lalo na when she’s talking animatedly like that.”

Milo steps closer until their sides are touching, then she hums. “Mhm, you always look at her when she talks. Alam mo ‘yong kanta ng Cup of Joe? Sabi: magulong kapaligiran, sa’yo lang ang tingin. If there’s someone who embodies that line, ikaw ‘yon.”

“What can I do?” She smiles to herself. “I like listening to her. Alam mo namang I always find her interesting, Milo.”

Lalo lang lumaki ang ngiti n’ya when Jasmine finishes talking with Eggsy and finally notices her and Milo sa may office n’ya. She waves at them like a kid who sees her friends after days of being starved of playmates, she notes with affection.

“Uy!” Dali-dali naman itong lumapit sa kanila. “May meeting ba? Anong meron?”

“Wala naman. I was just passing by. Dinner daw mamaya sabi ni Uyab. Sa usual place, 7PM.”

“We’ll be there.” Sagot naman ni Alex. Tumango lang si Jasmine as her own confirmation.

They both watch Milo enter her own office, then it’s just them. Alex looks at Jasmine, only to find her already looking at her.

“May dumi ba ako sa mukha?” She touches her cheek, then her forehead. “Grabe ka makatitig, Robles, huy.” Pero she can’t deny the fact na it feels good to have her full attention like this.

“Para namang hindi ka sanay, Arceta.” Jas takes another step and places her hand on her arm, lightly squeezing. Then, in a softer voice, asks: “Are you okay?”

They see each other everyday, but she still feels that very slight kilig whenever she’s asked if she’s okay. It just makes her feel… seen, cared for and loved everytime she thinks na someone wants to know about her well-being. Dahil sa dinami-dami ng tao sa mundo, someone finds the time to think about you and wonder if you’re okay or not.

“Okay lang ako.” Alex pats the hand holding her, before lifting the folder she’s holding. “Actually, I want to talk to you to finalize our plans. Nakausap ko na rin ang CliffHealth so we should be good after this.”

Jasmine takes a moment to look at her. Alam na agad ni Alex kung anong ginagawa ng dalaga sa harap n’ya so she lets her. When it seems like Jasmine’s satisfied with whatever she’s looking for, tumango naman ito tungkol sa sinabi n’ya.

“Wonderful news. Sige, sa office mo nalang? I don’t have a class for another hour so I think we can finish this before then.”

“Alright.”

Since nasa likod lang naman n’ya ang pinto ng office n’ya, she opens it and motions for Jasmine to enter na. “After you.”

“Napaka-gentlewoman naman talaga. Kaya maraming nafa-fall sa’yo eh.”

“Ayan ka na naman. Wala naman akong pakialam sa kanila, isa lang gusto kong ma-fall sa’kin.” Alex closes the door behind her and walks to her couch, motioning for Jasmine to join her.

“Na-fall na ‘yon sa’yo, I’m telling you.”

“Dapat lang.”

*****

First meeting nina Alex and Jasmine sa dalawang mentee nila. Jasmine lets her colleague take the floor, deciding to let her explain kung ano man ang mangyayari this semester and the following year. She takes her seat nearby and leans back to listen.

“So, your project will be about artificial learning. Basically, it’s a broader concept of enabling a machine or system to act, sense o adapt like a human. They are algorithms that mimic how the brain processes data. I see you two have good background sa coding, so I think this is the perfect project for you. Machine learning, on the other hand, is an application of AI. So, it allows machines to extract knowledge from data and learn from it autonomously.” Tumango naman ang mga estudyante nila, although alam naman ni Alex na hindi pa talaga fully grasped ng dalawa kung ano ang sinasabi n’ya.

“Nanunuod ba kayo ng K-drama? More specifically, napanuod n’yo na ba yong Start Up?”

Jasmine, since she’s sitting behind the students and knows they won’t see her reaction, rolls her eyes. Purgang purga na s’ya sa palabas na ‘yan sa totoo lang. And she already knows where this is going.

Nagkatinginan ang dalawa bago umiling.

“It’s okay, pero may isang scene kasi doon na inexplain ng bida kung paano ba nagwowork ‘yong Machine Learning.” Kumuha ng dalawang erasers si Alex at tinuro ito.

“Let’s say ito ‘yong computer. Halimbawa ang pangalan n’ya is Amelia.”

Briefly, tumingin sa kanya si Alex habang nakangiti, her brow raising fractionally. Jas rolls her eyes again in response pero hindi s’ya umimik, hinayaan n’yang magpatuloy ang dalaga sa pag-explain kung ano ba ang ML.

“Si Amelia lumaki s’ya sa isla mag-isa, never pa s’ya nakakita ng babae in her entire life. But one day, dumating si Louie sa isla.” Tinuro n’ya ang isang eraser, representing Louie.

“Binigyan ni Amelia ng bato si Louie, pero hindi n’ya nagustuhan ‘yon. But she gives her a flower, sumaya s’ya. So, Amelia keeps on trying. Binigyan n’ya ng ipis si Louie, pero ayaw ulit. Then on another day, binigyan n’ya ng cute rabbit, tapos that makes her happy. Ayaw ni Louie pag sumisigaw si Amelia, pero gustong gusto n’ya pag nakangiti ‘yong isa. While building such experiences, Amelia learns how to win Louie’s heart.”

Pigil na pigil si Jasmine tumawa that’s why she covers her mouth with her hand, closing her eyes briefly as she tries to reign in her amusement. She’s not expecting the well-known Dr. Arceta to actually use a K-drama scene to explain what machine learning is to students. Kung andito lang si Ate Milo, she would be laughing her arse off by now.

Nonchalant si Ate Cassie n’ya, pero sa palagay n’ya ay tatawa rin ‘yong isang ‘yon kapag nalaman n’ya ‘to.

“Hence, the term machine learning. You teach the machine to learn. You give the computer data on various experiences. It will learn the data through artificial neural networks and predict results.”

May iba pang sinabi si Alex pero medyo nag-space out si Jasmine dahil nakatitig lang s’ya sa nasa harap n’ya. Mukha namang sobrang interesado ang dalawa nilang students. Well, who wouldn’t be after gumamit ng ganong example to explain things? Kung estudyante rin siguro si Jasmine at ganito kaganda at katalino ang Professor n’ya, she would also listen to her and give her full attention.

“You will be handling medical images from CliffHealth - PET and CT images. May paperworks tayo na kailangan pirmahan for privacy but I will talk with you about that later. For now, I want to give you a quick background on why we do PET scans. We commonly use this talaga in detection of cancer and to evaluate cancer treatment.”

There’s a reason why Alex chose this field years ago and Jasmine feels her heart constrict. It’s her story to tell and let’s just say na everytime she thinks about it, gusto n’yang yakapin ng mahigpit ang dalaga and protect her from all the evil and pain in this world.

“CT scans, on the other hand, is a useful screening tool for detecting possible lesions sa katawan. Don’t worry, I know this is overwhelming right now, but I’ll give you reading materials and my office is always open for you two if you have any questions. Dr. Robles is also very knowledgeable on the subject so pwede rin kayo magtanong sa kanya if hindi ako available.”      

*****

It’s 10 in the morning at kasalukuyang nagla-laboratory class sina Alex at Jasmine. Nahati sa walong grupo ang buong klase, with different medical equipment for each group para sa activity nila.

Jasmine is helping one group sa UV sensor sa may bintana, while Alex stays sa harap, working on her laptop and being available in case other groups need help. So far, okay naman ang lahat at na-explaina naman nila kung ano ang mga dapat nilang gawin.

She’s reading a paper when one student catches her attention.

“Dr. Arceta?”

Napa-angat s’ya ng tingin and offers a welcoming smile. “Yes?”

“Ma’am, kelangan po kasi namin ng additional volunteer para dito sa blood pressure tests. Busy po kasi ‘yong iba sa mga activities nila kaya hindi namin maistorbo.”

Natawa naman si Alex bago tumayo at pumunta sa grupo ng kumausap sa kanya.

“Of course.”

Uupo lang naman s’ya and let the students do the activity sa kanya.

“Is everything going well though? Wala namang problema sa equipment?”

“Opo, okay naman po lahat, Ma’am.”

Straightening up in her seat, inoffer n’ya ang braso n’ya at tiningnan ang screen showing her systolic and diastolic pressure.

While she’s focused sa numbers, she feels more than hears Jasmine’s presence behind her. At hindi nga s’ya nagkamali nang bigla itong nagsalita.

“Aba, ang VIP naman ng volunteer n’yo.”

Natawa ang mga students, habang lumingon naman si Alex sa co-Professor n’ya. Pero bago s’ya nakapagsalita, ‘yong reaction ng isa sa katabi n’ya ay halos nagpatalon sa kanya.

“Hala si Ma’am, nawalan ng diastolic pressure.”

“Ha?” Sabay na sabay na sabi ng lahat, tumingin sa screen.

“Gumagana naman ‘yan kanina ‘di ba?”

“Oo, okay naman ‘yong nine volunteers natin kanina. Kay Dr. Arceta lang gumanyan ‘yan.”

“Dumating kasi ako kaya ‘yan nagka-ganyan. Sorry na, guys.” Mapang-asar na sagot ni Jasmine. Natawa ulit ang mga naka-palibot sa kanila while Alex feels her face flush at the comment. She tries her best to subtly glare at Jas, but the woman is purposely ignoring her stare.

“Nako, si Dr. Robles lang pala makakapag-pawala ng diastolic pressure ni Dr. Arceta.” Totoo naman na nasakto kasi ‘yong pagkuha ng diastolic pressure n’ya nong dumating si Jasmine. Kasalanan ba n’ya kung ganoon ang epekto sa kanya ng ka-trabaho n’ya? She can’t help it, she can’t stop her heart from skipping a beat ‘pag nasa malapit si Jasmine.

*****

Nakaupo si Alex behind her desk, arms crossed on her chest, as she meets Jasmine’s gaze with a determined look on her face. Jasmine stands on the other side and has her hands flat on the table, leaning forward slightly as she stares at the other woman.

“Anong sense ng pagdagdag ng mga difficult clinical cases? It’s not like we have enough data to make a difference.”

Alex purses her lips into a thin line. Ano bang trip nitong si Robles at kinokontra ang desisyon n’ya?

“The network needs to learn as much as it can. Agreed, kaunti lang ang difficult cases like that but it’s better than nothing.”

“Come on, Dr. Arceta, I don’t think may big impact ‘yong ganon kaliit na dagdag sa training dataset.”

“It’s deep learning, Dr. Robles. We don’t have any idea what’s happening inside the network. You might say na walang impact, but what if meron? Based sa experience ko on this, I think meron. And any improvement, no matter how small, is still improvement.”

“Hindi naman common ‘yang ganyang cases dito sa Pilipinas. There’s no reason for us to consider it.”

At that, Alex looks even more irritated. “So, just because hindi common, hindi na natin i-coconsider? Hindi na pwedeng mangyari? What if there’s a new case and the application failed because it can’t handle that? So, ano, paano proper diagnosis ng patient?”

“What if idagdag nga natin pero hindi naman accurate? What, then? Misdiagnosis?”

“Why are you so against this? If you’re worried about the training speed, don’t be. The addition of these cases won’t change how fast the network converges.”

“No, it’s not that—“

“Uh, mga Ma’am…” Napakamot naman sa ulo ang dalawang estudyante na kanina pa nakatayo at nakikinig sa usapan ng dalawa.

Alex has to blink a couple times, completely forgetting na hindi lang pala silang dalawa ni Jasmine ang nasa faculty room.

“…yes?”

“Pwede naman po namin i-try pareho. May enough computational resources naman po. Yong isang gpu po, train nang wala ‘yong special cases tapos ‘yong isa gpu, train nang may special cases. Then, compare nalang po natin ‘yong performance ng dalawang networks?”

Both Alex and Jasmine stare at their mentee, taking in his words before they look at each other again, a silent conversation passing through them. Alex leans back again and sighs, nodding her head.

“Actually, you’re right. That sounds like a good plan. Just make sure na the only difference would be the added special clinical images. So, your training parameters should be the same in both cases, okay?” Paalala nya. Tumango naman ang dalawa bago nagmamadaling umalis na.

Meanwhile, humalukipkip ulit si Jasmine habang tinitingnan si Alex. Alex did the same thing, adding a slight pout as she fixes her glasses.

“Ano bang trip mo, Robles? Why can’t you just agree with me on this one? Wala namang mawawala if we try it.”

“It’s just fun to go against you. Lagi ka kasing may sagot sa mga bagay bagay.”

“Is that it?” Lalong bumusangot ang mukha ni Alex. “Trip mo lang kaya you argued with me in front of our students?”

Jasmine is quick to shake her head no. “Of course not, Alex. You know me, I will never do petty things like that.”

“Then, what?”

“I’m serious when I said na I’m worried about the misdiagnosis. We say na hindi natin alam kung anong nangyayari sa loob ng networks. You’re on one side, arguing the better side of things. But I’m on the other side of it, thinking na it might just damage the overall performance.”

Umiwas ng tingin si Alex, still frowning.

“Hey…” Tawag ni Jasmine.

“Alex.”

“Look at me naman oh…” She says, almost pouting.

There’s probably something in her tone that makes Alex look at her again, even if mukha pa ring iritado ang dalaga.

“I know you’re taking the lead on this project, pero talaga bang gusto mo na mag-agree lang ako sa lahat ng sasabihin mo?” Tanong n’ya, a hint of challenge in her tone.

Gusto ba ni Alex ng partner who will not bother thinking and just support whatever she’s saying kahit na there might be better things na they can do?

“Well… no, syempre hindi. I value your thoughts, Jasmine. You have an amazing and interesting mind and I will always want you to voice out your opinions.”

“I knew you’d say that.” Nakangiting sabi n’ya. “And that’s exactly what I’m doing. Hindi mo ako kalaban, we’re a team here. I’m simply trying to make sure na we think of all possibilities, hindi lang ‘yong kung anong expected na mangyayari. Do you get me?”

Jasmine watches Alex relax her shoulders, although this time, it’s the latter who’s almost pouting dahil sa mga sinabi n’ya.

Ang cute naman talaga, Lord.

“I do. I get you, I promise. It’s just that…” Alex sighs.

Tumango si Jasmine. “It’s just that you’re not used to someone countering your decisions.” Pagtapos n’ya sa sasabihin ng dalaga.

Napatingin sa kanya si Alex, slight surprise on her face. Kahit hindi s’ya magsalita, halata sa mukha nito ‘yong pano mo nalaman na ‘yon ‘yong iniisip ko? Because Alex leads most projects sa team nya sa CliffHealth, she’s used to being the voice of everything. While she worked in a collaborative environment there, ‘yong salita n’ya pa rin sa huli ang nasusunod.

But sa case nila dito sa university, because she and Jasmine are co-leading the thesis of their students, they both decide on what to do. Hindi pwedeng na isa lang ang masusunod.

Jasmine laughs, shrugging her shoulders. “I just know you well enough, I guess. I don’t mean to undermine your thoughts though, sana alam mo ‘yon, Alex.”

“I know.” The woman says softly. “It will take some time to adjust, but I’m glad it’s you I’m doing this with, Jasmine. I pray na bigyan ka pa ni Lord ng more patience.” Sa wakas, ngumiti na rin ulit si Alex kaya naman mas lalong gumaan ang loob ni Jasmine.

“‘Wag kang mag-alala, six years ago, ‘yan din ang dinasal ko kay Lord and so far, araw araw naman n’ya akong binibigyan ng pasensya.”

Alex rolls her eyes sa sagot n’ya. “Hay nako, Robles.”

“Totoo naman eh.” She pauses, then asks again. “We good?”

“Oo naman. It’s a discussion I’m willing to go through everyday if that helps.”

“Good.”

Naglakad na papunta ng pinto si Jasmine nang lumingon s’ya ulit kay Alex. “You want matcha latte?”

Alex smiles broadly, her eyes almost disappearing na naman, then nods her head so endearingly na she almost goes over to her to squeeze her cheeks. Bakit kasi ang cute?

“I won’t say no to that, Robles.”

“Oo na, alam ko. I’ll be back. I’ll buy your pistachio bagel na rin.”

“Ang bait mo talaga, you know that?”

“Alam ko. Ingat ka, baka ma-fall ka na naman sa’kin, Arceta.”

“Heh! Doon ka na nga!”

*****

Nagayos na si Alex ng mga gamit ‘nya. She finished checking the activity sheets, so she can rest easy na when she gets home. A quick look on her phone tells her that it’s almost 9PM, prompting her to sigh. She’s not supposed to stay this late pero hindi ‘nya maiwasan.

Lagot ata ako…

Once she has her stuff, Alex makes her way to the door, only to stop mid-step at the sight of Jasmine bent over her desk.

“Robles? You’re still here?” Kumunot ang noo nya as she steps closer to her. “Akala ko nakauwi ka na?” Naguguluhang tanong n’ya. Buong akala n’ya, mag-isa nalang sya sa faculty room dahil nakauwi na ang lahat.

The other woman glances up, her face softening as she gives her a tired smile.

“Hi. Hindi ko maiwan ‘tong schematic diagram ng isang student eh. The design is correct, but I’m trying to figure out bakit mali na s’ya nong nag-double check ako ulit.”

Alex rounds the table and leans one of her hands sa edge ng table and the other stays sa likod ng upuan ni Jasmine. Tiningnan nya ‘yong diagram, her expression curious. While she’s not as good as Jasmine in Electronics, she’s good enough for these things.

“How long have you been trying to figure this out?”

Jas heaves a deep sigh, closing her eyes for a bit to rest.

“Two hours.”

Napatingin si Alex sa katabi, a worried frown on her face.

“And you’ve had a busy day full of lectures, right?”

The woman only hums in agreement, exhaustion written all over her face. A sudden wave of affection and protectiveness arises within her, wanting nothing more than to take care of this amazing woman. Kawawa naman ‘to, buong araw nang pagod sa lectures tapos kinailangan pang mag-check ng mga student activities.

Looking back at the diagram, silence engulfs them for a few minutes until she taps Jas’ shoulder gently.

“It’s this XOR gate right here and then here.”

Brown eyes look at her, then at the drawing. “What?”

“Hay nako, Jasmine. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero you always have a weak spot d’yan sa XOR na ‘yan. Para kang may blinds when it comes to that. Try to run through it again.”

Alex steps back to give Jasmine enough space to go through the whole thing again. She silently follows ‘yong pag-check n’ya, knowing it really is the crux of the issue. After a while, lumiwanag ang mukha nito at tumingala sa kanya with a huge smile on her face. She holds Alex’s arm, niyugyog pa nga in her excitement.

“Hala, oo nga! Grabe, I could kiss you right now!”

Napailing at napangiti nalang si Alex sa sinabi ng kasama n’ya. “Ewan ko sayo, Robles. Tama na ‘yan, umuwi ka na rin.”

Alex turns her back and starts to walk away, pero napatigil s’ya sa narinig. “Galing mo sa Electronics ah, akala ko ba Medical Physics specialty mo?”

It’s obvious she’s teasing her, so she turns around again at nagpatuloy sa paglalakad. Maingat pa rin s’ya though, not wanting to bump into any tables or chairs sa likod n’ya.

“MedPhy nga, pero magaling teacher ko sa Electronics eh.” She even pokes her tongue out, chuckling. Alex is brave enough to do that dahil wala namang ibang tao maliban sa kanilang dalawa. Otherwise, she never would’ve done this in broad daylight.

“Sino ba ‘yang teacher mo na ‘yan?”

“Basta! Umuwi ka na!”

“Huy, teka lang! Sabay na tayo?”

At that, Alex stops and peers over the office door one last time. “I have my car with me. Next time nalang, okay?” Jasmine looks deflated, but smiles nonetheless. “Drive safely, Jas. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Ikaw rin, Alex. Have a good night. Salamat ulit sa tulong mo.”

*****

Alex looks at the powerpoint, analyzing the results her students are showing them. It’s the middle of the afternoon, nasa bakanteng lab room sila, with Alex sitting near the front desk while Jasmine opts to sit sa counter near the middle of the room, silently listening sa presentation and Alex’s comments and points of discussion.

“Prof. Arceta, ‘yong inferred results po look good sa mga adults pero when we tested it on kids data po, hindi na po s’ya okay. While it’s not too bad, it’s also not too good din.” Report ng mga students.

“Your training and validation datasets… can you confirm if puro adults?”

“Opo.”

“And your test set is…?”

“Combination po ng adults and kids.”

Alex nods, humming. She puts her chin sa kamay n’ya, eyeing her students with a pensive look.

“Your network only saw adults. So, when you do inference using kids data, of course it won’t be as good. I told you the very first time we discussed this project, kung ano ang nakita ng network n’yo, ‘yon din dapat ang ginagamit n’yo na test set to fully know your network’s performance. Parang ganito lang yan…”

Alex proceeds to discuss more about the matter. Meanwhile, Jasmine simply listens, not even bothering to hide the smile on her face. One thing she immediately noticed about her co-worker is that she’s so passionate about her work. Ang dami n’yang alam, that she wants to share it to the people around her. She finds joy in teaching others talaga, which Jasmine likes so much. Minds can be really attractive, ano? Most especially if it’s Alex Arceta’s mind. Lord, awa nalang talaga.

The students nod after her co-worker’s lengthy explanation. Alex glances over her shoulder to Jasmine, silently asking if she has anything to say.

“This is a good thing, though.” Jasmine starts, not wanting to be left behind sa discussion. “Alam n’yo na ngayon na hindi s’ya sobrang okay sa kids data. If we want the network to handle more than just adults… alam n’yo ba kung saan papunta ‘yong sasabihin ko?” The other Professor asks, quirking her eyebrows at their mentees.

“Yes, po. We need to add kids data to the training dataset so that if we do the inference on the same dataset, we should expect to see better results sa mga kids.” Sagot naman ng mga estudyante nila. One of them is writing notes while nodding his head.

“Very good.” Alex comments with an approving nod. “Can you go to the next slide, please?”

Sa next slide, may artifacts sa head and bladder area, which puzzles Alex. “Ano nangyari d’yan?”

“Hindi rin po namin alam.”

“Did you check your input? Baka may high uptake sa brain? Bladders, of course, have high uptake since FDG ito, but did you check if there’s something else?”

“Hindi pa po, Dr. Arceta.” Alex sighs upon hearing that.

“When you see something like this, you should always ask yourself why. Normal ba ‘to? May mali ba? San kaya nanggaling ‘yong artifacts?”

Jasmine bites her lip as she remains silent, letting the woman take over. Admittedly, she knows more about this and Jas' role is only to support the project. Si Alex ang boss and boy, does she make it look so… so…

“Yes, po.”

“Next slide.”

“For this case po, we found na arm bones are not inferred reliably.”

“Do you have any guesses why?”

Natahimik ang mga estudyante, bago umiling.

“Let’s review ulit. Think back to your training datasets again. Are they arm up or arm down?”

Alex lets the students think back to their data. Sila ang mas nakakaalam ng mga images na ginamit nila more than her. She’s just there to steer the ship, ika nga, pero all the minute details? The students know it more.

“Majority of the cases, arm up po. Either naka-cross po ang arms above the head or straight up lang.”

“That answers the question, then. Again, your network was trained with mostly arm up cases. Arm down cases will have sub-par results, katulad nalang nitong patient na ‘to.”

“We’ll do more data selection po and find more cases with arm down para maidagdag sa new batch ng training.”

Both Professors nod their head in agreement.

“Ito na po yong last slide.”

Alex sees another arm up adult data. Normally, okay dapat ‘to, pero sa leg area parang papel na nabasang tubig ang itsura for some reason.

“What happened here?”

Binaling n’ya ang atensyon n’ya sa input, finding na may high uptake sa left leg ng patient.

“Ahh, infiltration. May gantiong cases ba kayo sa training?”

“Wala po, Ma’am. Wala po tayong masyadong cases na may ganyan.”

Alex nods. “That’s tricky. We don’t have enough data to cover this. But it’s fine, if may mahanap pa kayo, just add it to the training din. We can’t do much about sa mga cases na ‘yan, anyway.”

“Will do, po. Thank you po, Dr. Arceta, Dr. Robles.”

Jasmine nods at them, saying a quick “good job” because she knows how even a small encouragement can go a long way.

“Okay. You may go. Next meeting, please share kung ano ‘yong findings n’yo sa artifacts.”

“Understood po.”

Nang makaalis na ang mga estudyante, Alex turns in her seat and looks at Jasmine who is already looking at her with a big smile on her face.

“What is it?”

“You love what you do, ‘no?” Tanong ni Jasmine, nakatitig lang kay Alex who’s fixing her hair.

Grabeng ganda ‘yan, nananampal, Lord.

“Of course, I do. I’m lucky enough to love what I do.” Alex’s smile is blinding. Very few people experience that kind of satisfaction and happiness in their jobs and believe her when she says na no one deserves it more than this wonderful woman in front of her.

“I’m happy for you. I’m also learning new things from you, so I like that. I’m really glad you joined the Department, Arceta.”

“‘Yon lang? ‘Yon lang gusto mo?”

Jasmine tilts her head like a puppy, looking at Alex with a questioning look. “Meron pa bang iba?”

Alex stays silent, just looking at Jasmine. Hindi rin n’ya alam kung paano idedescribe ang mukha ni Alex pero it’s like she’s exasperated over something?

“Ah!” Tumawa si Jasmine, snapping her fingers while looking amused din it seems like. “‘Yong mga estudyante mo na nagbibigay lagi ng chocolates sayo. Salamat kasi shini-share mo sa amin sa sobrang dami.”

Alex literally plants her face in her hand at those words. Hindi na rin n’ya alam kung bakit pa s’ya nagtanong.

“Oh god, Robles. Ewan ko sa’yo, d’yan ka na nga. I still have a class to teach.” Tumayo na ang dalaga at iniwan ang nalilito pa ring si Jasmine.

Huh? Ang sarap kaya nong mga chocolates? Godiva pa nga ‘yong ilan don!

*****

“Pau, lagot ka talaga. Bakit kasi ngayon mo lang yan ipapasa?” Tanong ni Tin habang naglalakad sila papunta sa faculty room.

Kailangan nilang magpasa ng circuit design para sa robotics project nila kay Dr. Robles pero etong si Pau, late na. Dapat kahapon pa ‘yon napasa pero ewan ko ba.

“Hindi pa nga kasi finalized yong design namin para sa first task na sumo wrestling. Tsaka, nag-away pa kami kung paano yong magiging itsura nang robot namin.” Paliwanag naman ng kaibigan n’ya.

Totoo naman na hindi talaga madali mag-decide ng design. They need to make sure na mapapapanindigan nila ‘yong design, and all the logic is correct, and that ‘yong mismong robot is strategically sound para matalo ang ibang robots. So yes, there’s nothing simple about this. Naiintindihan naman n’ya kung bakit late, pero ang tanong, pagbibigyan ba sila ni Dr. Robles?

“Sana pumayag si Dr. Robles na tanggapin pa yan kahit late na.”

“Magpapa-novena talaga ako at magpapakabait for one week ‘pag tinanggap n’ya. Nasa faculty daw ba talaga sila?”

“Sabi mo ‘yan ah? Magpa-intention ka na rin kaya?” Sabi n’ya habang tumatawa. “Oo, andoon daw ang mga teachers sabi ni Presi kanina. May pinasa kay Department Head kaya s’ya napadpad doon.”

“Okay, sige, tara na, bilisan na natin.”

It doesn’t take long for the two students to reach the corridor outside of the faculty room.

“Silipin mo muna? Nahihiya akong pumasok agad eh.”

Tintin rolls her eyes dahil sa kaibigan pero sumilip s’ya sa pinto, immediately finding almost all Professors ng Math and Physics Department na nasa common area, talking amongst themselves and may mga kape sa harap nila.

Lumingon s’ya kay Pau. “Nako, mukhang nagkakasiyahan mga Profs, Pau. Paano tayo sisingit n’yan?”

“Patingin nga.”

Pumunta na rin si Pau sa may pinto at pinanuod ang mga pangyayari sa loob ng faculty. It’s not everyday you see these brilliant minds in their respective fields na magkakasama ng ganito. Dahil nga mga nagtuturo sila, minsan nalilimutan din nila na mga simpleng tao rin lang naman talaga ang Profs nila.

Not going to lie, it’s sort of nice to see them like this. Pwede pala yon? Chill lang sila? Especially Dr. Arceta. Sobrang seryoso kasi n’ya lagi sa mga klase at parang napakahirap biruin, hindi katulad ni Dr. Robles na kung minsan ay parang tropa ng ibang mga lalaki sa klase nila.

Speaking of which, magkatabi sina Dr. Robles at Arceta habang tumatawa sa kwento ni Dr. Ricalde. Nalaman nila na talagang magkaka-close sila, pati si Dr. Sevilleja na taga-Biology Department. Nasa dulo ng table si Dr. Arceta, katabi naman n’ya si Dr. Robles at nasa harap nila si Dr. Ricalde. Ang ibang mga Professors nila ay nakapalibot din sa pwesto nila.

“Parang ang hirap nga naman mang-abala sa kanila…” Bulong ni Pau habang bumubuntong-hininga. “Nakakahiya…”

“Balik na lang ba tayo mamaya?” Tanong naman ni Tintin. Nakasilip pa rin silang dalawa sa pinto, pinapanuod lang nila ang mga pangyayari sa loob.

“Okay lang ba sa’yo kung maghintay nalang tayo rito? Parang ayokong pumunta sa qpav tapos balik ulit dito, nakakatamad maglakad na.”

“Ang tamad mo talaga pero sige, dito nalang. May mga upuan naman d’yan sa corridor.”

Bago sila tuluyang umalis, bumaling ulit ang atensyon nila sa loob dahil sa lakas ng tawa nila.

They watch the happenings. It’s more Dr. Robles and Dr. Ricalde laughing to their hearts’ content. Dahil sa sobrang ligalig ng mga tao, natumba ‘yong plastic na baso na nasa gilid ng table. Yumuko naman si Dr. Arceta para pulutin ang baso.

Pareho nilang napansin na kahit busy si Dr. Robles sa pakikipagusap sa mga taong nasa harap n’ya, kusang gumalaw ang kamay nito para hawakan ang corner ng table na para bang hinaharangan si Dr. Arceta kung sakaling mauntog. It seems mindless, almost like a reflex, like sobrang sanay na s’yang gawin ‘yon para hindi masaktan si Dr. Arceta.

To others, parang wala lang naman ‘yon pero para kina Tintin at Pau na hindi masyadong familiar sa personal life ng mga Professors nila, it’s a nice glimpse sa dynamics ng mga taong nagtuturo sa kanila.

When Dr. Arceta straightens up after picking up the cup, they see how Dr. Robles presses her hand on her back, caressing gently, almost reverently. Di kalaunan ay inalis din naman, pero nagkatinginan pa rin ang dalawang estudyante sa labas ng faculty room.

“Nakita mo ba ang nakita ko?” Tanong ni Tintin.

“Nakita ko ang nakita mo. Ang tanong, pareho ba tayo ng pinaguusapan?” Sagot naman ni Pau.

Tumawa naman ang dalawa dahil sigurado sila na pareho sila ng nasa isip: Lord, me when?

*****

“We did the input quantification validation po as discussed last meeting. Pumili po kami ng few regions of interest like the brain, heart, liver, lungs, bladder and the whole body po. Each column represents the ROIs po. The first row is the mean standard uptake value (SUV) for 90 simulated kids. The second row is the mean SUV for 15 real kids and the third row is for the 90 real adults. We have very few real kids data po, kaya eto lang po ‘yong nagamit namin for the validation.”

Everyone’s silent as the two Professors take in the numerical results being presented to them. Tumayo si Jasmine to step closer sa white screen, nakatitig as they both process and make sense kung ano ba ang sinasabi ng data sa kanila. The data never lies talaga, so one should pay close attention.

“So the real data has bigger mean than the simulated data. Let’s see…” Alex trails off. Jas looks over at her, seeing how her mouth’s moving as if talking to herself.

Ah, eto na naman s’ya sa mental calculations n’ya.

She looks back at the screen to hide her smile.

“About 20-30% higher ang mean ng real data. Mhmm. I mean, it’s not exactly a very fair comparison because of the lack of data.”

“I agree na hindi fair, but this is all we have for now. We can’t do anything about that but at least it still tells us something.” Jasmine counters. Alex looks at her, waiting for her to continue it seems like.

If Jasmine is a lesser person, she would’ve folded already. Hindi naman sa galit o kahit ano si Alex, pero nakakakaba lang talaga ‘yong tingin n’ya. Para bang matatakot kang magkamali dahil nakakahiya kung ganoon ang mangyayari nga.

“It’s better than nothing is all I’m saying. Since we still don’t fully understand kung bakit nagfafail ng network with the addition of simulated data.”

That’s the million dollar question, isn’t it? Ano bang mali? Or may namiss ba sila?

“I think one thing you can do is scale up these simulated data by 25% maybe, then infer again. Compare that with your previous results and see if may magbabago.” Jasmine sees Alex nods from her peripheral vision. “If walang magbago, then that means scaling is not important sa network. But it also tells you that the network can handle a wider range of values ng input mo. If may magbago, then great, that’s what we’re looking for.”

“Agreed.”

“Okay po, Dr. Robles. We’ll do that po and present the results next week.”

The students take down some notes, pero there’s still something talaga na they’re missing. Even with both their experiences ni Alex, they can’t figure it out. It’s bothering the hell out of Jasmine sa totoo lang.

They discussed a few more things bago sila natapos. Bumalik na rin si Jasmine kasama si Alex sa faculty room but then, bigla s’yang may naalala.

“Oh by the way, Dr. Arceta, I talked to Dr. Yuu. Napag-usapan namin ‘tong issue na ‘to and she said na baka daw it’s because of the simulation parameters. Gemini is using 1 mm spacing sa simulation n’ya and she suggested it should be around 2 mm, similar sa spatial resolution ng machine.”

Napatigil naman si Alex sa gitna ng faculty room at tumingin kay Jasmine, a frown on her lovely face. “It shouldn’t matter if it’s 1 or 2 mm. Actually, dapat nga 1 mm ang gamit. The purpose of the Monte-Carlo simulation is to have a representation of the real thing, which is the human body. And the human body is infinite.”

Jasmine opens her mouth to counter, pero hindi na n’ya natuloy ang sasabihin n’ya dahil nagsalita na ulit si Alex, and she simply just lets the woman vent out kung ano man ang nasa isip n’ya. Nanahimik nalang s’ya as they both stand in the middle of the faculty room, with some of their colleagues looking at them with varied looks on their faces.

Ate Milo’s the most entertained one sa nakikita n’ya. When Alex is in the zone, wala talaga s’yang pakialam sa surroundings n’ya. Since hindi pa rin s’ya tapos magsalita, she still hasn’t noticed na the others are watching them na.

Prof. Eggsy and Ate Milo lean against their office doors, tumatango na akala n’yo alam talaga kung ano ang sinasabi ni Alex. Jasmine, on the other hand, feels like she’s being scolded kahit nag-open up lang naman s’ya ng point of discussion.

“…so no, the loss of resolution shouldn’t be because of that one simulation parameter. There’s more to it than that.”

“Wow.” Ate Milo’s slow clap brings Alex out of her trance, finally taking the time to look around. Jasmine snickers at the sight of her blushing face upon realizing na may audience na pala sila.

Even their head looks amused enough. “That was a rather good argument, Prof. Arceta. I’m really glad you’re part of the team now pero Dr. Robles looks ready to bolt na. Natakot ata sa’yo.”

Everyone laughs, except for the two of them. Napakamot naman sa gilid ng ulo n’ya si Jasmine because Prof. Goldie’s kind of on-point. Ready na talaga s’ya magtago sa office n’ya.

“Uh, sorry po, Ma’am. I just got carried away.” Inayos ni Alex ang salamin n’ya, before throwing Jasmine an apologetic look. She merely smiles in response, lightly tilting her head in acknowledgment.

One should never apologize for being passionate about their jobs.

Ngumiti lang ang head nila tapos pumasok na rin sa office n’ya. ‘Yong mga kasamahan naman nila, nagsi-balikan na rin maliban kay Milo na tumatawa pa rin habang nakatingin sa kanilang dalawa.

“Kaya pa, Jas?”

“Nye nye, ate Milo.” Bumelat ulit s’ya because she can, bakit ba? Wala naman nang ibang nakakakita sa kanila kaya okay lang sa kanya to act this way.

“Gets ko naman point ni Alex, it’s fine.”

Alex puts her hand at the small of Jasmine’s back briefly, offering comfort and a silent apology kaya napatingin s’ya sa katabi n’ya. “Still sorry, nadala lang ako.”

“It’s okay, nothing to be sorry for naman, Alex. But if you want, we can discuss it more? We still do need to figure out kung anong nangyayari sa simulation datasets.”

“Hay, sanaol nalang talaga minsan. Bye! Lunch tayo mamaya ha?”

Milo leaves the faculty room na rin after that.

“Si Ate Milo talaga kahit kailan mapang-asar.” Natatawang sabi n’ya.

“What’s new?” Umiiling na sabi ni Alex. “Your office or mine? Let’s try to figure this out as soon as possible if kaya.”

“Yours nalang. Balik ko lang ‘to sa office ko then I’ll be there in a minute.”

*****

Nasa office n’ya si Jasmine, finishing up some paperwork for the upcoming Astronomy Week na inoorganize ng Math and Physics Department nang may narinig s’yang kumatok.

“Dr. Robles, excuse me po… pinapatawag po kayo. Punta raw po kayo sa Room 306.”

Nagtataka si Jasmine kung bakit s’ya pinapatawag sa room na ‘yon. It’s the small physics lab na ginagawang tambayan ng mga graduating students. There should be nothing note-worthy about it. Napa-isip pa s’ya kung may nalimutan s’yang appointment or event pero wala talaga.

“Bakit daw?” Tanong n’ya habang tumatayo. Not long after, lumabas na rin sila ng faculty at pumunta na sa naturang silid.

“Uh, si Ma’am Sanvi po kasi, ano po…” napakamot nalang sa ulo ang bata at umalis na rin nang hindi sinasabi sa kanya ano ba talaga ang nangyari. Mukhang napag-utusan lang talaga na tawagin s’ya.

Sanvi, though? Sanvi’s one of the many Biology Professors sa College of Science and she’s also one of her dear friends.

Ano kayang meron?

Nakita n’yang nakabukas na ang pinto ng maliit na physics lab, Sanvi’s standing outside with a stern look on her face. Some students are lingering near the area, too, and it doesn’t take long for her to understand what’s happening. Dahil kahit malayo pa s’ya sa pinto, may na-aamoy na s’ya at mukhang alam na n’ya kung bakit s’ya pinatawag.

“Sanvi.” Bati n’ya.

Tumingin sa kanya si Sanvi at kahit hindi naman s’ya ang may kasalanan, parang natakot pa rin s’ya. Grabe talaga ‘pag nagagalit ‘to, titiklop ka. No wonder under lagi si Milan. Buti nalang din lahat ng ‘to ay nasa isip n’ya, kung hindi ay baka nabigwasan s’ya ng malala ng babaeng katabi n’ya.

“Jasmine, ano ba ‘tong mga estudyante mo? Nag-sosolder inside this small, air conditioned room? Alam mo namang delikado ‘yan para sa kalusugan nila.” Sermon nito, at ayon na nga, tama nga ang hinala n’ya. Napatingin s’ya sa mga nasa loob ng kwarto.

At this point, tumigil naman na silang mag-solder but the damage has already been done. Ni hindi nila alam kung gaano katagal na nilang ginagawa ‘yan dito.

“Kung hindi pa ako dumaan at nasaktong bumukas ‘yong pinto, hindi ko pa malalaman ‘yan. Pagsabihan mo sila, baka magkasakit ‘yan sa baga. Nako, talaga naman.”

Jasmine puts a comforting hand on Sanvi’s arm, giving her a light squeeze, silently communicating na s’ya na ang bahala sa mga involved students na ngayon ay hindi makatingin sa kanila.

“Ako na bahala, Sanvi. Thank you. Pagsasabihan ko sila.”

Umalis na si Sanvi, samantalang nanatili sa may pinto si Jasmine. Seryoso ang mukha n’ya habang tinitingnan isa isa ang mga estudyante. She ends up staring at the class president, na nakatingin na rin naman sa kanya with a guilty look on his face.

“I’ve reminded you before. Over and over again. Ang sabi ko walang magsosolder inside an air conditioned room. Ang sabi ko sa labas n’yo tatapusin ang projects sa klase ko dahil ‘yang usok galing sa lead ay hindi safe if sa kulob na lugar.”

Naka-ilang sabi s’ya bago pa man magsimula ang bawat grupo sa kani-kanilang projects. Pero nakinig ba? Hindi, otherwise they wouldn’t be in this situation.

“Sorry po, Dr. Robles.” Sagot naman ng presidente.

“Turn off the air conditioning, keep this door open hanggang mawala na ‘yong amoy at mga natitirang usok. Kapag may another report of you guys na nag-sosolder sa any Physics lab, ibabagsak ko kayong lahat.” Nagkatinginan naman silang lahat. It takes a lot of self-control not to roll her eyes at their reaction, though.

“Maliwanag ba?”

“Yes, po. Hindi na po mauulit, Ma’am.”

“Good. I’m keeping—“

Hindi natapos ni Jasmine ang sasabihin n’ya dahil may isa na namang estudyante na lumapit sa kanya.

“Dr. Robles, pinapatawag po kayo ni Dean. Punta na daw po kayo sa office n’ya ngayon.”

Anak ng teteng… ayan na nga ba sinasabi ko.

Sakto pa talaga na walang ang Department Head nila kaya s’ya talaga ang sasalo ng sermon. Add the fact na class n’ya talaga ang rason kung bakit kailangan mag-solder. They’re tasked to build their own robot, after all.

“I’ll be there in a second. Tatapusin ko lang ‘to.” She gives the student one last nod then focuses her attention back sa taong nasa harap n’ya.

Hindi naman talaga masyadong mahigpit si Jasmine sa klase n’ya. She’s generous pa nga sa mga deadlines at if kailangan ng make-up classes or exams, ginagawan n’ya ng paraan para makapasa lahat. Between her and Alexandra, the latter’s more strict. Talagang pasa or bagsak sa kanya because she expects her students to listen to her and put in the effort to learn.

“I’m keeping my eyes on you lot. Presi, ayusin n’yo talaga, sinasabi ko sa inyo.”

With her parting words, tumuloy na si Jasmine sa Dean’s office. Nasabon na n’ya yong mga bata, s’ya naman ang sasabunin ni Dean dahil sa nangyari.

[After ma-principal’s office ni Jasmine…]

Kakapasok lang n’ya sa office n’ya. Nakabusangot ang mukha n’ya after mapagsabihan ni Dean tungkol sa nangyari kanina.

Hindi man talaga n’ya kasalanan, hindi man s’ya nagkulang sa paalala… eh wala eh, nangyari na. With a deep sigh, she doesn’t realize that someone else is inside until may nagsalita sa gilid n’ya.

“Are you okay?”

“Ay anak ng tipaklong!” Napatalon s’ya mula sa kinatatayuan n’ya, a hand on her chest dahil dumadagundong ‘yong puso n’ya sa sobrang gulat.

Nang lumingon s’ya, nakita n’yang tumayo si Alex mula sa kinauupuan nito, holding a cup of what seems to be a coffee from Tim’s.

“Alex, ano ba? You almost gave me a heart attack!”

The woman in question simply rolls her eyes. “So oa talaga kahit kelan.”

Umupo na s’ya habang umiiling pa rin, mabilis pa rin talaga yong tibok ng puso n’ya pero ngayon, it’s due to the combination of shock and Alex’s presence. Paanong hindi, eh ang ganda ganda lalo na’t nakalugay ang buhok n’ya ngayon? Tapos medyo curly pa ‘yong dulo.

“What are you doing here? Not that your presence is unwelcome, akala ko lang may klase ka pa.”

Alex is always a sight for sore eyes. She immediately feels betters knowing na andito s’ya, parang ni hindi na nga n’ya maalala ano bang mga sinabi ni Dean kanina regarding sa health protocol and potential risks sa mga students.

“I dismissed them early since they finished early rin sa mga lab activities.” Pinatong ni Alex ang dalang iced drink sa table n’ya. Upon closer look, mukhang hazelnut latte ‘yon, which is her favorite!

“Ahh, how did you know na kelangan ko ng pick-me-up drink?” Without really waiting for her response, uminom na agad s’ya. Jasmine lets out a contented sigh as the flavors of the coffee erupted inside her mouth.

Ang sarap talaga!

“You’ll be surprised kung gaano ka-updated si Milo sa mga nangyayari sa Department natin.” Natatawang sagot ni Alex na umupo sa harap n’ya.

“Si ate Milo na naman. Grabe ‘yan s’ya talaga.”

Alex goes silent, nakatingin sa kanya na para bang sinusubukan basahin ang isip n’ya.

“Are you okay?” She asks, genuine concern written on her face. “Pinatawag ka daw sa Dean’s Office?”

She takes more sips, arranging her thoughts dahil sa totoo lang, although it doesn’t feel good na mapagalitan, it is what it is. She can’t do anything to change what happened naman. All they can do is learn from it and move forward and make sure na hindi na mauulit, most especially para sa kapakanan ng mga estudyante.

“I’m okay. Pinaalala lang ni Dean na mali ‘yong nangyari at napagsabihan ko na rin naman yong 4AP. Sabi ko ibabagsak ko silang lahat ‘pag may another incident like this.”

Tumawa si Alex sa narinig mula sa kanya. “Parang it’s more my line than yours, ah?”

Jasmine does a peace sign. “Actually, ikaw talaga naaalala ko when I said that. I took inspiration from you kaya ayon, natakot naman sila. Sana hindi na nila gawin ulit, kung hindi walang gagraduate sa kanila talaga.”

Nakita naman ni Alex na nagsasabi ng totoo si Jasmine. She looks okay, not terribly sad or pissed dahil napagalitan ni Dean. “Okay, I’m glad. I thought kailangan ko pang ilabas ang big gun ko to make you feel better eh.”

Natigilan si Jasmine sa narinig. “Huh? Anong big gun sinasabi mo?”

“You’ll never know now, okay ka naman pala eh.” Alex has this grin on her face na para bang may alam s’ya na hindi alam ni Jasmine.

“Hindi na pala ako okay. Look oh, I’m sad and pissed! Ano ‘yong big gun na ‘yan?”

“Nah, wala na, too late na. Alam kong nagpapa-bebe ka nalang ulit. ‘Di bagay sa’yo, Robles.” Patuloy na pagaasar sa kanya, kaya naman nag-belat s’ya kay Alex dahil di n’ya na mapigilan. Sometimes, this woman just brings out the child in her talaga, lalo na sa mga ganitong pang-aasar.

“‘Di ba bagay? Parang hindi naman ‘yan ‘yong sinabi mo kahapon? Or the other days na nagpapa-bebe ako sayo?” Now, it’s her turn to tease the older girl.

Aba, hindi pwedeng madehado ako dito ‘no? Walang uuwing api sa pamilyang ‘to!

“Jas!!”

She laughs out loud, a challenging look on her face now. “Oh, ano? Ano ka ngayon?”

*****

Ugh, late na ‘ko! Lagot ako kay Dean!

Dali-daling kinuha ni Jasmine ang mga papeles sa table n’ya bago tumakbo palabas ng office n’ya. Buti nalang malapit lang ang Dean’s office sa kanila kung hindi, mas malalagot talaga s’ya sa boss nila. Although mabait naman si Dean Malaya, ayaw na ayaw lang din talaga ni Jasmine na pinaghihintay ang mga tao.

Malapit na si Jasmine sa pinto at hindi n’ya napansin na biglang bumukas ito. Out of nowhere, she feels arms around her waist, pulling her back until her body collides with someone else’s. Jasmine lets out a small gasp at the suddenness of it all, eyes wide in shock.

What the…?

“Ay hala Ma’am, sorry po!” Sabi naman ng estudyante na mukhang takot na takot na nakatingin sa kanya. “Hindi ko po sinasadya!”

Thoughts flee her mind dahil medyo nawindang lang s’ya.

“It’s fine. Be careful next time, okay?” Sabi ng boses sa likod n’ya. Jasmine quickly turns her head over her shoulder to look at Alex, finding her scowling.

“Opo.” Mukhang hindi na dumiretsong pumasok ang estudyante sa faculty room. Umalis nalang ito bigla as Alex’s gaze focuses back on her and her scowl is easily replaced with a concerned look.

“Okay ka lang ba? Are you hurt?” Nakita n’ya kung paano s’ya sinuyod ng tingin ni Alex, from the top of her head to her feet, bago bumalik sa mukha n’ya, sinisipat siguro kung mayroon s’yang injury or kung ano man.

Jasmine can only blink up at her.

“Bakit ka kasi nagmamadali? You’re not even looking sa dinadaanan mo. Ano ba yan, Jasmine?”

Their faces are so close, and ngayon n’ya lang narealize pero Alex’s arms are literally wrapped around her body. She’s never felt so safe and sound before until that moment, being in this woman’s arms. Kahit pinapagalitan s’ya, okay lang.

“Jas…?” Lumipat ang isang kamay ng dalaga at hinawakan ang pisngi n’ya. Alex looks even more worried now that she feels guilty for not saying anything. Pero how can she speak when her mind can’t even work properly dahil sa proximity nila?

“Talk to me, Jasmine. I’m getting worried here.”

Jusko, Lord.

“I… I’m okay. Hindi naman ako natamaan nong, nong ano, pinto...” She finally answers after what feels like forever. Jas feels the other woman’s thumb brush over the apple of her cheek for a couple more times before she puts her hand down.

“Sigurado ka? Hindi ka talaga natamaan? Walang masakit na kahit ano?”

Jasmine can only nod.

“Kung hindi pa kita nahila pabalik, natamaan ka talaga sana. You could’ve been seriously hurt, Robles.”

Yup, okay lang talaga na pagalitan s’ya if si Alex Arceta naman yong nagagalit.

Bago pa s’ya makasagot, may nagsalita nang ibang tao sa gilid nila.

“Oh, did something happen?” Lumingon sila parehas and they see Prof. Goldie with a puzzled look on her face. Alex carefully and slowly lets go of her but one of her hands remains on her back, inaaalalayan pa rin s’ya kahit hindi naman talaga n’ya kailangan.

This woman, I swear to all that is holy…

“Muntik lang po matamaan ng pinto etong si Dr. Robles. Nagmamadali po kasi palabas.” Sagot naman ni Alex habang tinitingnan pa rin s’ya ng may pag-alala.

At the reminder of her rushing out earlier, Jasmine finally gets a grip on herself at nanlaki na ulit ang mga mata n’ya.

“Hala! Late na talaga ako! I’m supposed to go sa Dean’s office for a meeting!” Natatarantang sabi n’ya at tumingin s’ya kay Alex, bago kay Prof. Goldie.

Alex sighs at that, the small frown is back.

“I’m going there as well. Halika na, sabay na tayo. Hindi naman magagalit si Dean Malaya if we’re late for a bit.” Sabi naman ni Prof. Goldie kaya tumango nalang ulit s’ya.

Nauna nang lumabas ng pinto ang head nila pero Jasmine can’t find it in herself to just leave after worrying Alex. Tiningnan n’ya ulit ang dalaga, then offers an apologetic smile.

“Sorry, di ko sinasadya. I’ll be more careful next time, okay? But I really have to go now. Bawi ako!” After squeezing her arm, dali dali na rin s’yang lumabas papunta sa Dean’s office.

*****

Exam week means easier work load for the Professors before they deal with checking and stuff. Currently, halos lahat ng tao sa Department nila ay nasa kani-kanilang offices, busy with their own paperworks and probably lesson plans. Jasmine, on the other hand, is problematic dahil nagkaka-error ang ginagawa n’ya. May ginawang read me file si Alex for this software na galing sa CliffHealth, listing a detailed instructions at anong purpose ng mga bagay bagay pero hindi talaga magamit ng maayos ni Jasmine.

May ginagawa ba akong mali? Nakakaloka na ‘to ha?

Dahil nauubusan na s’ya ng pasensya, minabuti n’ya na humingi nalang ng tulong sa mismong nakakaalam. Leaning against Alex’s office door, she lets herself take in the woman behind the desk, her specs sitting prettily on her beautiful face.

‘Yong salamin n’ya talaga, nakakawala ng bait sa totoo lang. Gusto ko s’yang ibulsa!

“Take a picture, mas matagal mong matititigan.”

Tumawa si Jasmine pero nag-stay lang s’ya sa position n’ya by the door. “Marami na kaya akong pictures mo sa phone ko. Mauubusan na nga ako ng storage.”

Alex smiles at that, bago tumingin sa kanya. “May kelangan ka?”

At the reminder of her failed attempts, she points over her shoulder towards her office. “Yes, do you have a minute? Tina-try kong i-run ‘yong .exe files from CliffHealth pero hindi gumagana eh.”

“Hindi ko pa nakikita, pero parang alam ko na ‘yong maling ginawa mo.” Sabi ni Alex habang tumatayo. Pareho silang pumunta sa office ni Jasmine, with the latter sitting in her chair and the former leaning closer sa computer screen to get a better look at the command line.

“Patingin ako ng inputs mo.”

After a few clicks, the text editor comes up, showing ‘yong commands na ginamit n’ya which is based doon sa read me file na ginawa ni Alex.

“Tama naman, ‘di ba? This is similar to what’s in your document?”

Alex hums non-commitally, her sole focus on the screen. Sobrang lapit ng mukha nila sa isa’t isa, that Jasmine can easily see the way her eyes move as she goes through each line. She really can’t help it, she lets her eyes wander over every part of her face from Alex’s forehead, to her gorgeous eyes, to the tip of her nose, her cheeks and her mouth. Alam na n’ya ‘to dati, pero wala talagang mali sa mukha ng babaeng ‘to. Noong nagpaulan ng kagandahan ang Diyos, sinalo lahat ng isang Alexandra Arceta.

“Sabi ko naman sa’yo, picturan mo nalang ako.” Alex sounds amused as she types something. To be honest, at this point, hindi na s’ya nagpe-pay attention sa ginagawa ng kasama n’ya sa computer. With this proximity, all Jasmine wants to do is hug her and be even closer if it’s at all possible.

“Photos don’t do you any justice… iba ka pa rin talaga sa personal and ‘yong ganito kalapit.” Bulong n’ya, still unabashedly staring dahil minsan lang na maging ganito sila kalapit sa isa’t isa.

“Bolera ka rin pala, ano?” Jasmine watches Alex throw her a look but she gets distracted dahil napansin n’ya na namumula ang pisngi nito.

“Anong bola? I’m spitting facts, thank you very much.” A smile covers her face this time, quite pleased to know na may ganoong epekto pala s’ya kay Arceta.

Aba’y dapat lang, dahil sobra pa sa sobra epekto n’ya kay Jasmine!

“Ewan ko sa’yo. Ayan ‘yong mali mo, hindi ka nagbabasa Robles. I already have the instructions nga, but you’re not paying attention. Naka-bold and italicized pa nga oh.” Napagalitan pa nga.

Reluctantly, Jasmine looks at the screen. Naka-open ‘yong instructions and ‘yong inputs sa command line na ginamit n’ya. Alex points to her mistake.

“This part should’ve been forward slashes. You used backward slashes. Hindi ‘yon gagana kapag hindi tama ‘yong usage ng slashes. Sabi ko na nga ba, ‘yon ‘yong mali mo.” With it already corrected, Alex runs it again and they both watch as it finishes successfully.

“There we go, okay na!” There’s a triumphant look in her eyes, at walang ibang nagawa si Jasmine kung hindi tumitig muli. Ano pa ba ang magagawa n’ya? Natameme na nga s’ya sa ganda ni Alex, dinagdagan pa ng ngiti na ganon. Let’s not even mention ‘yong salamin. Kahinaan n’ya talaga ang mga babaeng naka-salamin. Lalong nakakadagdag sa attractiveness nila, parang awa.

Dahil walang response from her, napatingin si Alex sa kanya. “Huy, nakikinig ka ba?” Her forehead creases a little bit, making her look so adorable in her eyes. Unable to stop herself, Jasmine presses her thumb in between Alex’s eyebrows, gently massaging the soft skin there. Alex’s face immediately softens and relaxes at the contact.

“Do you know, you get this crease right here ‘pag nagsasalubong ang mga kilay mo? Ang cute mo tingnan. You often get this whenever you do coding, or if you’re checking papers tapos hindi mo alam kung saan nakuha ng mga estudyante mo ang mga sagot nila.” Napatawa sila pareho because it’s not just Alex’s subject na ganoon. Halos lahat ata ng subjects, nanghuhula ang mga students.

“And your eyes… you probably heard this a million times already, pero you have smiling eyes. Nawawala sila when you’re smiling so big.” Her fingers now gently touch the side of her right eye, before she cups her cheek, her thumb caressing the soft skin.

“Genuine happiness suits you, Lexie.” She sees how Alex’s eyes widen at her sudden use of nickname. “I’m really happy you’re here na.”

*****

Kasalukuyang nakaupo sa couch si Jasmine habang tinatapos i-check ang exam papers ng mga students n’ya. There’s a pile of papers on the table in front of her, and two empty cups of coffee.

“Are you done checking the papers?” Napatingala si Jasmine nang biglang may nagsalita sa gilid n’ya.

She sees Alex there with a tired look on her face, pero kahit mukhang pagod, sobrang ganda pa rin. There’s this softness in her and it makes Jasmine want to take care of her. Lalabanan at aawayin n’ya ang kahit sinong magpapa-iyak sa babaeng ‘to, sinasabi ko talaga sa inyo.

“Hi.” She greets. She doesn’t realize her shoulders are tense until she feels them relax noong nakita n’ya si Alex. “Almost done. You?”

“All done, thank God.” Without any warning, Alex takes the seat next to her at sumandal sa couch, her eyes closed dahil siguro sa sobrang pagod din.

Patting the woman’s knee gently, she speaks again. “Are you okay?”

Nagmulat ng mata si Alex at tumingin sa kanya. Jas smiles at her in return, quickly quirking her eyebrows in silent question.

“I’m okay. I’m ready to go home, though. I just want to sleep for a week.”

“Don’t worry, magagawa mo na ‘yan very soon. We have two weeks off.”

Thank God for semestral breaks, or else they’d go crazy talaga.

After that, nag-focus na ulit si Jasmine sa pagche-check. It doesn’t take long before she’s done. Inayos na n’ya ang mga papers sa table, double-checking na lahat ay okay na before she lets out a loud, relieved sigh.

“Finally!”

Jasmine looks over her shoulder at Alex, finding her already looking at her with that very faint smile on her face. Her head is half tilted, and she’s never look more beautiful in her eyes than at that very moment.

Her heart skips a beat na naman, slowing down for a few seconds before coming back with a vengeance. She feels like she’s seen that look a lot of times in the past, but she will never get used to it. She will never get used to the feelings that look evokes from her; the way her face heats up; the way her heart wants to get out of her ribcage and burrow itself in Alex’s own chest; the way her whole being feels at peace knowing na she has this woman’s full attention.

You see, the way Alex looks at her, it’s like she’s her whole world. No one and nothing else matters. The whole world can burn down right this very moment and Alex won’t dare look away from her.

Alam n’yo ‘yong ganoong feeling? ‘Yon… ‘yon ang lagi n’yang nararamdaman pag tinitingnan s’ya ng isang Alexandra Arceta.

“Ano na naman?”

“Nothing. Why do you still look beautiful kahit pagod ka na?”

Napatawa naman si Jasmine sa comment ni Alex. “Ay sus, si bola. Ikaw kaya, kahit anong ganap mo, sobrang ganda mo.”

Since most students have gone home already and kakaunti nalang din ang natitira sa faculty room nila, Jasmine doesn’t think twice when she leans close to her, placing her head against Alex’s shoulder. She feels the older girl rest her head on tops of hers, too, prompting her to smile in delight.

Naramdaman din n’ya di kalaunan na sinusuklay ng kamay ni Alex ang buhok n’ya, making her feel even more relaxed.

“I think mana ako sa’yo.”

Jasmine, being the dugyot person that she is, snorts as a response. “Ano tayo, magkapatid? Mag-nanay? ‘Wag nalang!”

Alex’s shoulders move as she laughs quietly. Kahit hindi n’ya nakikita ang mukha ni Alex, alam n’yang nakangiti pati ang mga mata nito. That’s just how she smiles, with her whole self.

“Bakit parang luging lugi ka pa? Ako na ‘to oh!”

“Hindi naman sa ganoon, grabe ka.” Jasmine puts her hand sa tuhod ng katabi n’ya, then Alex loops her free arm against hers.

“What I’m trying to say is, ayaw kong maging kapatid or nanay mo.”

“I’m just joking, Jazzy. Take it easy na.”

Hindi na muna ulit nagsalita ang kahit sino sa kanila. They just let the silence wash over them, simply taking in each other’s presence and the peace they always find ‘pag magkatabi silang ganito. The two of them don’t always have to talk. Just being connected like this physically is more than enough to lift the heavy clouds brought by this exhausting day.

“Dinner tayo?” Tanong ni Jasmine, her eyes still closed dahil patuloy pa rin sa paghawak ng buhok n’ya si Alex.

“Aba, tumatapang ka na ha. Dinner?”

“Ano ba yan, Arceta.” Reklamo n’ya. Alex can’t see it, but she’s visibly pouting right now. Gusto lang n’yang kumain ng masarap, spend more time with this person right here and go to sleep early.

Alex laughs dahil sa tono n’ya. Siguro kahit hindi n’ya nakikita ang mukha ng katabi n’ya, alam na alam n’ya kung anong itsura nito ngayon.

“Yes to dinner. Are you in the mood for ramen or tacos?”

Alex could feel Jasmine think about the choices, na para bang it’s the most difficult question in the universe. Dinner choice lang talaga ‘to, grabe naman.

“Normally, I’d say tacos pero nakakatamad magpaka-dugyot kumain tonight so let’s go with ramen.”

Wala nang magawa si Alex kung hindi tumawa dahil sa sagot ni Jasmine. “Ramen, it is. The usual place?”

“Yes, please.”

“Alright, it’s a date, then, Dr. Robles.”

“It’s a date, Dr. Arceta.”

*****

A month before mag-end ang school year, Alex goes on a trip to Nagoya for almost a week dahil sa software update ng scanners nila sa isang ospital doon. The hospital is quite famous in the country, with patients having the most difficult and bizarre cases kaya importante na nandoon s’ya for support and any client questions.

While she’s no longer a full-time employee of CliffHealth, s’ya kasi ang nag-head ng bagong version ng software nila bago s’ya bumalik ng Pilipinas. Since she knows every single thing about it, her former boss asked her to come over and facilitate the change in case magkaroon ng problema.

Jasmine, on the other hand, covers Alex’s other laboratory classes. The lectures are covered by their Department Head pero since halos patapos na rin naman ang school year, and Alex has been a god-send dahil on time lahat ng lesson plans n’ya, kaunti nalang din ang kailangan i-cover.

Kakabalik lang ni Jasmine sa office n’ya when someone knocks. She sees ate Milo who looks worriedly at her.

“Huy, ayos ka lang ba? Ba’t ang laki ng eyebags mo?”

Pumasok na ito at naupo sa harap ng desk n’ya, nakakunot ang noo.

“I’m fine, Ate Milo. Hindi lang nakakatulog ng maayos pero I’m okay.” She sounds and looks tired, at halata ‘yon hindi lang ng mga kaibigan n’ya pati na rin ng mga students n’ya.

“Ilang araw ka ng walang matinong tulog?”

“Mag-five days na ata…” Jas covers her mouth as another yawn escapes her.

“Sigurado ka bang okay ka lang? Umuwi ka na kaya? Wala ka naman na atang classes for today?”

Jasmine shakes her head, pouting like a kid. “Wala na akong class pero ayoko pa umuwi. Dito nalang muna ako and I can sleep naman d’yan sa couch if talagang hindi ko na kaya.” She smiles at her ate. “Don’t worry about me na. I’m really fine, okay?”

“Nako ikaw talaga, isusumbong talaga kita sinasabi ko sayo.” Tumayo na si Milo at naglakad palabas. “Punta ako Tim’s, do you want anything?”

At that, nabuhayan si Jasmine. She flashes a big smile and nods her head like a kid. “Matcha latte, please?”

“Ha? Kelan mo pa nagustuhan ‘yan?”

“Basta! Ate Milo, sige naaaaaa.”

Ayon, ginamit na nga ang younger self card. Milo snorts as a response.

“Pati ba naman inumin, hindi mo pinalagpas. Malapit na s’yang umuwi, ‘wag ka ng mag-drama d’yan.”

Sumandal ulit si Jasmine sa upuan n’ya and crosses her arms na parang bata. “Talk to me again ‘pag si Ate Cassie na ‘yong umalis!”

Milo grins, mapang-asar pa nga at bago tuluyang umalis, sinagot s’ya: “Mama mo. Hindi ‘yon aalis ng ganon katagal ng hindi ako kasama. Nye nye, bye, bili lang ako!”

[Same day, later that afternoon…]

Nakatulog na pala si Jasmine nang hindi n’ya namamalayan. She feels something soft and light sa mukha n’ya kaya s’ya naalimpungatan, so she slowly opens her eyes.

The first thing she sees is Alex’s smiling face. It takes her a moment to fully realize that she’s still in her office, nakahiga sa couch n’ya and that Alex is here.

Alex… Alex is here…

“Lexie…” Bulong n’ya with a relieved sigh. Her body finds comfort at the other woman’s proximity, like her whole system can finally relax now that she’s here again.

Jasmine melts against the couch even more, ‘yong katawan na n’ya mismo ang bumibigay after not having enough sleep for the past five days.

“Hi, there.” Alex says softly, an affectionate smile on her face. Not long after, Jasmine feels a gentle kiss on her forehead. “Milo says you haven’t been sleeping well. Are you okay?”

She feels the other woman brush some stray hair away from her face before Jasmine nuzzles into Alex’s hand na nasa cheek n’ya. Para siguro s’yang pusa pero she doesn’t give a damn. Ang importante sa kanya ay ang presensya ng babaeng nasa harap n’ya. She holds Alex’s wrist tightly, making sure na hindi makakalayo ang dalaga.

“Si ate Milo talaga oh, ang daldal. I’m okay now. You’re here na eh.” She closes her eyes again, feeling sleepier. Alam ata ng buong pagkatao n’ya na andito si Alex sa tabi n’ya kaya payapa na ang isip at katawan n’ya.

“Jasmine… come on, don’t sleep na. We should go home, wala ka naman ng class. I’ll drive you home.”

At that, nagmulat s’ya ng mata. “Really? Dr. Arceta’s going to drive me home? Bago ‘yon ah?” She teases with a sleepy smile.

“Inaantok ka na nga, nang-aasar ka pa. Halika na, ang laki laki ng eye bags mo oh. Hay nako, I told you to take care of yourself eh, pero hindi mo naman ginawa.”

“Oo na. Eto naman, natuwa lang ako kasi ipagda-drive mo ako. At anong magagawa ko kung hindi ako nakakatulog ng maayos?” Sabi n’ya habang umuupo. She runs her hand sa buhok n’ya, trying to make it look presentable after sleeping.

“You have your melatonin for this exact reason, Jasmine Robles.”

Napangiwi s’ya dahil sa pagtawag ng full name n’ya. Nakakatakot talaga ‘pag ganyan na ang tawag sa kanya. Tiklop kung tiklop.

“Alam mong ayokong umiinom non. I don’t want to get dependent sa mga ‘yon. I promise I’m fine, ‘wag ka na mag-alala, okay?” Jasmine gives her a reassuring look and smiles again. “How’s your trip, by the way? All good?”

“I’ll tell you all about it sa kotse. Ready ka na?”

Jasmine looks at the offered hand then she happily takes it, letting the other woman pull her up. What makes her happier is when Alex kisses her cheek this time. “Namiss kita.”

Dahil sadyang marupok s’yang nilalang, she ends up pulling Alex against her, hugging her tightly, her arms wrapped tightly around her waist as she presses her face against her neck. Her body relaxes even further once they’re close.

Hayyy, this feels like home.

“Mas namiss kita. ‘Wag ka na ulit umalis ng ganoon katagal, please. Ang hirap, Lexie…” bulong n’ya. Alex hums in response, then she feels her hand sa likod n’ya, rubbing soothing circles, as if silently conveying na oo, hindi na ulit kita iiwan ng ganoon katagal, Jasmine. Even without the words, Jasmine understands what she’s telling her, knowing they’re exactly on the same page, same paragraph, same line even.

*****

Every year, the university honors Professors and other staff members who have done excellent service to the school community. Maraming awards na binibigay and one of them is Student’s Choice Award. This is given sa isang Professor per College and as the award name suggests, it’s chosen by the students. Since College of Science has four different Departments, nagro-rotate ang awards yearly. It just so happens na this particular year, the winner is from Math and Physics Department.

Unsurprisingly, it’s Jasmine who wins the award. Malapit kasi talaga s’ya sa mga estudyante at kahit na pasakit minsan ang Electronics, they can’t deny na masaya naman talaga matuto sa subject na ‘yon. Jasmine makes it so fun na hindi mo iisipin minsan ‘yong hirap dahil masaya ka sa mga nalalaman mo. She’s gifted like that, at proud na proud si Alex sa kanya.

“Our next Student Choice Awardee is from the Math and Physics Department of the College of Science, Prof. Jasmine Amelia Robles.”

Tinawag na si Jasmine sa stage para kunin ang award n’ya. All awardees are given a minute to give their speeches, so she would be lying if she says na hindi s’ya curious sa kung anong sasabihin ng dalaga. Walang sinabi sa kanya si Jasmine, so wala rin s’yang idea. Most likely though, she’s going to thank the Department and mga students. Although not many AP students are here, may ilan-ilang andito including class officers.

Her eyes follow Jasmine’s figure, smiling proudly at the way she confidently strides to the school head, accepting her award. Can we also appreciate the way her black dress hugs her body perfectly? Especially with her hair cascading over her shoulders like that, Jasmine Robles is such a vision tonight. Maganda naman lagi lagi si Jas, but she’s extra gorgeous tonight. Her ever-present black-rimmed glasses are perched on top of her nose cutely, making her look even prettier.

“Good evening, everyone. Thank you UST, for this award. Thank you to the College of Science, Math and Physics Department and Applied Physics students. Teaching has always been a passion of mine and I’m more than happy to keep sharing my knowledge and expertise to the current and future students of our Department. Trust that I will always strive hard to be a competent, compassionate and committed instructor.”

Napangiti si Alex at the mention of the three core Thomasian values. Expect Jas to include that sa speech n’ya.

“And of course…” Akala ni Alex tapos na ang dalaga, pero mukhang hindi pa.

“I want to thank the person who’s been my rock through everything. To my best friend, to my partner in crime and life, to my pahinga after ng nakakapagod na araw, to my palagi… to my wife… Alexandra Arceta, thank you. I love you, Lexie ko.”

Alex’s eyes widen like saucers at the shout-out. Hindi naman nila tinatago, pero hindi rin nila nilalantad na mag-asawa sila. If people ask, they would answer truthfully although they’re trying to keep things low-key talaga. Lalo na’t pareho sila ng Department. Pero she’s not against this. Kung s’ya ang masusunod, ipagsisigawan n’ya sa buong mundo na asawa s’ya ng isang Jasmine Robles.

In the midst of the crowd, Alex catches her wife's eye. In a sea of people, there is only her amazing wife holding her award. A silent understanding passes between them; and once again she is overwhelmed by the love she has for Jasmine. The love, the care, the promise to stay together through thick and thin, in sickness and in health...

In every victory.

In every loss.

In every yes and no.

Between tears and laughter.

Between fights and compromises.

In every letter they write on the board.

In every line of code they write.

Loving Jasmine is about the easiest thing she has ever done in her life. Saying yes to her proposal and saying "I do" in front of their families and friends five years ago were the best decisions she's ever made.

Because loving Jasmine is like breathing fresh air.

It makes her feel alive.

And being loved by her in return is like finding an oasis in the middle of a desert after years of mindless wandering.

Being loved by Jasmine is like coming home.

You know the feeling of staying in front of the fireplace, under a cozy blanket, sipping your hot chocolate while it's raining cats and dogs outside?

Do you know the feeling of relief when you finally rest your head on your pillow after a long day?

Jasmine loves her the way she deserves to be loved: truly, madly, deeply, genuinely, irrevocably, and forever. She cares for her in ways she sometimes can't even comprehend. She keeps her safe and makes her smile and laugh every day of their lives. She picks her up and holds her when she's down, she wipes away her tears when she cries.

Whenever their eyes meet, Alex always feels like her chest is going to explode. There's this constant overwhelming feeling of affection and love for Jasmine, just simmering near the surface of her entire being. Because what she felt for her then, and what she feels now, and what she will surely feel in the future, is a once-in-a-lifetime kind of love; it's the kind of love you cross oceans for, the kind of love you leave your loved ones for, the kind of love that brings you peace, calm, comfort and security in the midst of a chaotic world and the kind of love that gives you the assurance that no matter what happens in your life, you will never have to face anything alone ever again.

Because someone will hold your hand through it all.

Because someone will share the burden with you.

Because someone will support you in fighting your battles.

Because someone will slay the dragons for you when you can’t.

And more than five years ago, she grabbed this love with both hands and never let go. She promised then, and she's saying it again now, that Alex would always have the courage to be brave and fight for Jasmine and their love.

And you know what?

Alex is certain that Jasmine would defy the laws of physics, disprove every theorem and postulate, and tear at the very fabric of reality if it meant keeping her safe and warm.

Mahihiya kahit ang law of universal gravitation ni Newton sa pagmamahal na natatanggap n’ya from her wife.

So, of course, she’s the first one to clap, as loud as she can, when Jasmine finishes her speech.

“I love you, too.” She mouths, prompting the woman on stage to give her a beaming smile.

—End.