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It’s ironic, really, that Claudia’s the one who leaves Terry first.
Claudia, who’s been crying and screaming at her loved ones’ feet for as long as she can remember, begging them not to leave her behind. Claudia, who believes there’s no line that’s too dangerous or too vile to cross, so long as doing so holds her family together. Claudia, who would’ve sworn up and down that she would never treat Soren and Viren the same way that her mother had once treated her. The way the two of them ended up treating her.
Right now, she doesn’t know where that part of her is. She had to tune it out to… extract the homunculus's blood. But, that aside, even she can only be someone’s loyal pet for so long. She has been the pursuer all this time, chasing after people who clearly didn’t love her as much as she loved them, who couldn’t bring themselves to make the same sacrifices she would make for them, and where had that gotten her? In the end, she never earned their loyalty back. Nothing she did was ever enough. No one thought she was worth staying for. No one.
She might’ve never seen it coming from her mother, from her father, or from Soren, but she’s wiser now and sees the pattern for what it is. It’s only a matter of time until Terry comes to the same conclusion as them. Until he stabs her in the back, leaving to pursue his own selfish ambitions, whatever those might be. Because if her own family cannot love her, then how could some elf she met less than two years ago?
“Claudia! Please!” She hears Terry call after her. His voice breaks, heavy with genuine pain, but his cries fall on deaf ears.
Claudia doesn’t bother to look back. Instead, she limps across the beach, trying not to let her staff slip between her blood-soaked fingers, as her guts twist up inside of her in a sick mix of disgust and satisfaction — yes, a sick sense of satisfaction at the thought that someone loves her enough to break into pieces as soon as she threatens to walk out.
It’s clear that leaving while he still loves her is the right choice. Some would call it quitting while she’s ahead.
Either way, she’s never felt more free.
Maybe this is the path of freedom dad was talking about, she thinks, with a sour taste lingering in her mouth, maybe everyone left because they knew something I didn’t.
After all, someone has to leave first. It’s how all relationships inevitably end, really. And she’s always been the one left behind, watching helplessly while someone else made decisions that changed the rest of her life — she might as well be the first for once.
If she’s had to go through this before, there’s no reason why Terry shouldn’t. He doesn’t deserve love any more than she does. Much like her, he will have to learn that this is just the way it is.
“I will wait here!” He swears. “However long you need. I will be here.”
Terry’s words turn into mumbles, while Claudia presses on, dragging her body forward, one slow step after the other.
Her mind absently conjures up memories of the nights she tossed and turned in bed before waking up in a cold sweat, crying to herself over the nightmares she’d had, only for Terry to hold her in his arms, whispering gentle reassurances, promising he’d never leave her, and making sure she felt safe from her worst fears while she was with him.
Perhaps she should feel guilty about this, about wasting the time and effort that Terry dedicated to their relationship, about being ungrateful for the patience and understanding that he showed her, about letting misplaced anger kill the sweet memories they shared, because, truth be told, Terry hasn’t done anything to hurt her yet. But her capacity for guilt feels muffled by her grief, and it’s then that yet another thought strikes her —
She just lost a leg. If he wanted to catch up, he could. He could easily stop her if he wanted to, if he loved her enough.
Instead, he lies on the beach — oh, how easy it must be for him, to just lie on the beach, and tell himself he did everything he could! — and washes his hands off any blame just as her father did before him. They’ve both told her to figure it out by herself, so they don’t have to do any of the work, they just sit back and expect her to feel loved anyhow.
It’s awfully easy, isn’t it? Anyone can claim to love her, but no one has ever stuck around long enough to prove it. So why should she stick around for one more disappointment, one more betrayal, one more heartbreak?
The pain only hits her in the dead of night, once she finds there’s no one there to hold her in the darkness.