Chapter Text
My name is Neä Phasma.
I am a former mother of the First Order.
Together, we were Gods.
Supreme Leader Snoke; the father
Kylo Ren; the son & his terrible
Force; the spirit
General Hux; ((the surrogate)) &
I ((Captain Phasma; the Mother))
Served to raise and protect Kylo- a vehicle of the Father's will.
We were chosen from the flesh to become more than me.
For that is as scripture said; I suppose.
My name is Neä Phasma.
I have discarded the shell of the jewel beetle;
I have taken a title and made it a name.
I have turned my sword towards my brothers.
A mercenary instead of a knight.
When I was forced with a life or death situation, I chose life.
I could not go through with a martyrdom without my crowd.
I thought myself enough to live another day; not to throw myself into the pit of lions.
"I am a God"
I thought.
But five steps into Eden and I was already lost. The terrain was
unfamiliar and I; a Golem, was as
heavy as the planet itself.
And yet to be conquered by
the dust-- dancing on the
edge of the light around my
face and hands; I could not
grasp her or pin her to my
eyes long enough to see.
She helped me instead of killing me. She asked to see my face.
Her request withheld the word
Monster. She noticed my
trembling hands. I growled.
The Jedi proved immensely skilled in survival
a great addition to any team; at least in matters
like this
I could trust her. I would help.
Rey, head Jedi of the Resistance, and I became trapped on a swampland after a failed boarding attempt. She was separated from the other members of her vehicle {Data: Poe Damron, FN-2187, a Wookie. }
Her escape pod landed in an area near mine; which is why she found me entangled in the vines of a tree-- my heavy armor had weighed me down enough to crash through rotting treebark I had misguidedly sought support on.
I am a being of great pride B U T
I allowed her to assist me down.
I did not let her touch me.
She did not free me. I freed myself.
She simply aided in my process.
It was allowable. Gods accept deeds in their name.
As a rule; I do not trust Jedi.
The scars run on my back and
at my throat. I C A N T
fully remember the circumstance
of these injuries; I F I C A N T
It means the fault of the incident was
M I N E && I was sent for reconditioning.
It seems part of the resolution is
the knowledge of their sins.
Among them, I can only see the R E D
Behind my eyes.
I R E M E M B E R --> {{ I didn't know forgiveness meant forgetting. I was built with false fear by KYLO REN. He burnt his cross into me. Even now I feel like I must consider him a friend. My hate is directed otherwise. }}
I was Captain Phasma.
Her name is Rey.
After being freed by Rey, she accompanied me as we attempted to figure out the terrain of this hostile planet.
We were both unfamiliar with the particulars of the biome & her assistance was appreciated. She asked me to keep my helmet off. My face was drenched in sweat. She kept eye contact to establish dominance.
|||||| Here Are Some Truths
1, Around Rey I feel Amplified.
Despite being fully clothed in my armor
besides my Helmet, my body feels lighter.
I feel the beats of my heart on the backside
of the shiny chrome.
2, I Fear the Pretty Face and Will to Kill.
The stories that had filtered their way
to me revealed that Rey often brought
her enemies to the brink of death
before pulling away. She lets them
taste it. She opts to let them live.
Oh but how she could.
Her eyes are like Tourmaline.
She is trying to make herself Artemis;
the beauty who's counterpart seeks the sun.
Young, Powerful, Independent, Resolved.
She knows her needs.
3, For Sapphic are my Desires.
I have full control over my personal urges
Hunger, Nausea, Arousal, Exhaustion.
I tell myself this to remind myself that it is false.
But I try. I try to create that truth.
I have not felt that flush like this. I could not.
The Automaton watching hungrily? Her? Her??
I am Distressed.
My name is Neä Phasma.
We Gods crave the flesh of the sacrifice of man.