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Benj was feeling a variety of things right now, while sitting at home in his room, knowing that he would be confined to this place for the next well…forever!
At least that was his mom‘s statement after his little fall out with the party that Koosh set up, correction his…brother set up.
Then of course there was his little ‘Stevie Wonder’ fiasco at the school assembly. Honestly, Koosh wouldn’t get off his back about harsh his public rejection was, and how he basically committed total social suicide.
Still, Benj was trying to wrap his head around the whole thing between him and Bailey. Because it’s been almost 3 days since he’s seen or heard from her, and at first he was terrified when she publicly acted like a total stranger to him, then she slipped him that little wink and smile right away after. That seemed to rise his hopes, but considering that was all he got and how she’s completely vanished off the radar tells him that he’s getting something messed up like mixed signals or some shit.
Benj’s thoughts were brought to an abrupt skidding halt when he heard a triple knock at his bedroom door that swung open before he could even say anything.
To his surprise it was the busted up face of his sister who still was as bitchy as ever despite her little epiphany of kindness towards him in encouraging his worthless ass to chase after her friend in the first place.
Alyssa’s nose was still held in place with that white oversized bandage, and that black eyes that was no better than it was two days ago.
“Hey, dumbshit. Your friend is here to see you.” Alyssa told him.
Benj was about to ask who it was but didn’t get the chance as Alyssa reacted quickly slamming the door shut behind her.
He didn’t know who it could be, it couldn’t be Koosh because he was still healing up and facing the shit that went down at the party from his parents.
It could be Conner or Eddie, but he highly doubted it after hearing about their crazy-ass night after stealing Eddie’s mom-boyfriend’s car then winding up with an extremely wasted Katrina Aurienna in the back and then causing a while shitstorm…literally!
But at the same time they managed to stick with her the whole night and now Katrina is practically smitten with them. So, that makes the chances of either of them coming over very slim since they’re probably hanging out with her.
“Hey Benj.” A surprisingly familiar feminine voice rang out from behind him derailing his train of thought.
A surge of excitement ran through Benj as his suspicions were confirmed when he turned around to have his gaze met with the very person that’s been on his mind for the last several days, Bailey.
There she was the woman of his dreams, standing in the doorway, before him in all her positively radient glory.
Bailey, meet Benj with a warm and welcoming smile.
“Bailey…w…w-what are you doing here?” Benj stammered out.
The tanned sophomore giggled. “I came to see how you are doing, dumbass.”
However, as that last word rolled seemed to trigger something for Benj, whose expression turned sour.
“What do you care?” Benj snapped. Turning his back to her.
Shock crossed Bailey’s face at his attitude towards her.
“Is something wrong?” She asks incredulously.
“Oh ‘no, dude. No, what are you doing?’” Benj did with a harsh mocking tone.
Bailey’s shoulders dropped and her eyes fell to the ground becoming too heavy to be able to look at him in the face.
She should’ve seen this coming.
Bailey sighed, “Look Benj, I’m sorry okay I know that what I did was harsh but-“
“Harsh?…Try brutal, ruthless, merciless, heartless!” Benj cut her off, “Alright, I know that I fucked up Bailey, and I tried to make up for it and put my ass out there for you. The least you could’ve done was have the fucking decency to at least act like what I did actually meant something!”
Bailey could feel the pain laced with each of Benj’s words which stabbed her like a knife to the heart, as if he was trying to make hers as shattered as his.
She managed to bring her eyes back to his, “Benj, I’m sorry okay.”
“Well, sorry doesn’t un-humiliate my ass in front of the whole school!” He shouted more out of anger than pain.
Bailey huffed at this, “Okay then, Romeo tell me what should I have done?”
Benj gave her a thinking expression “Hmm, I don’t know…maybe actually tell the truth instead of making me look like an loser in front of everyone would’ve been a better idea instead of sugarcoating it after the fact.” As if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
“I couldn’t, okay! Or did you forget that I’m still a sophomore and you’re a freshman!” Bailey argued trying to defend herself.
“Oh so you like me, but just not as much as your social reputation at school, is that right?”
Bailey’s demeanor quickly changes from guilty to annoyed as she throws her hands up combinées with an audible scoff, “Don’t twist my words, Benj! I came over here to apologize and now you’re being an asshole about it!”
“Well I think I have a right to be, after everything I’ve been through to try and impress you, honestly I think killing myself would be a lot more quick and painless than what you put me through, Bailey!”
Whatever Bailey was about to say next was long gone when she hear the words ‘kill myself’ and felt her heart sink.
“Benj, I know can’t take back what happened, but don’t ever say anything like that please.” She almost begged in a way.
Tears started to form in the corners of Benj’s eyes as he tried to hide his face from his crush.
“Why not, I’ll bet what happened at the party was all a fluke, wasn’t it? You felt so bad for a pathetic piece of shit like me that you decided to be nice so, that way I wouldn’t be let down by the reality that no matter what, freshman, sophomore, junior, senior, graduate…I will never be anything to anyone, not to my friends, not to my family, and not to you!” His voice broken and hoarse.
She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. It’s as if the confident and sweet boy Bailey had for years had been replaced with this broken and lifeless hollow shell that wasn’t even a shadow of the boy she watched turn into a man.
And it was fucking breaking her, right now.
“Benj, that’s not true and you know it.”
“Yeah it is, and that’s why you can’t stand to be seen with me in public, behind the curtains you’ll admit that you like me, but when it comes to admitting it to everyone else and yourself, you can’t. Why, because it’s not true, so stop lying to me and yourself, stop trying to give me hope only so it can be ripped outta my worthless fucking heart!” Turning away, refusing to look at her.
This gave Bailey a clear view of the streams of tears falling down his face. The redness in his eyes reflecting how hurt he was inside.
“Benj-“ she barely whispered.
“Get out, and leave me alone.”
“Benj, please?” Bailey begged.
“I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT!!!” Yelling at the top of his lungs with a rage that scared the shit out of her.
This time Bailey didn’t argue and went right for the door, opening it running out and slamming the thing behind her without a second thought, too scared to think about it.
In the years she’s known him he’s never shown the kind of rage like what she just saw, but it scared her deeply, not of him though, but rather what she did that made him like this.
At that point he couldn’t hold back anymore as he broke down in into quiet sobs as he fell onto his bed.
If that wasn’t bad enough for him, he got even worse from then, on in for Benj. He started distancing himself from his friends at school becoming completely antisocial and above all, depressed.
A couple of weeks later at the Academic Awards ceremony for the school began an event that hosted the star athletes, talented extracurricular students, and of course those who’ve managed to pull of the best grades.
The students started pouring into the gym taking their seats on the benches and floor.
At the top level is none other than Katrina Aurienna who is taking a selfie with Conner who smiles enthusiastically as he strikes a pose for the picture.
“Hey, Katrina.” Eddie waved back joining her and Conner on the upper rows.
That’s when Conner tapped his shoulder, pointing to the opposite side of him closer to the ground off to the side away from everyone else.
Katrina caught on, she’d know Conner and Eddie enough now to the pony where they told her about who Benj was and what he’d been going through.
“He still isn’t talking to you guys?” Katrina sighed.
Conner shook his head at her. “Not even a text!”
“Man, I’m really worried about him. I mean I’ve seen Benj at his lowest but even then he’s managed to get off his ass and bounced back, but this…” Eddie tells them looking at his friend from a distance.
Back near the ground rows were Alyssa and Bailey who as usual were sitting together.
That’s when Bailey’s eye caught something, or someone who has been avoiding her for the last few weeks.
Benj.
With his legs curled up against his chest, and arms wrapped around himself with his head resting on them. A passive and emotionless expression on his face.
Guilt had crossed her features once more, as she tried time and time again to talk to him after the fallout between them but he gave her the cold shoulder.
Alyssa quickly caught and followed Bailey’s gaze and saw what she was staring at.
“Seriously, I tell him to stop feeling sorry for himself and he goes into full self-pity mode. God, why can’t that dumbass just get over it already!” Alyssa complained about her younger brother.
“I feel so bad, Alyssa. He’s still talking to you and your mom though, right?” Bailey inquired.
“Nope! Not a peep to either of us, he’s barely eating too, mom’s becoming so worried about him that she’s already got in touch with the hospital to see if she can get him with a psychiatrist.” She tells Bailey.
Who just looks at Benj all by himself feeling a tsunami of shame hitting her hard.
The principle tapped the microphone, “Alright everyone, settle down and take your seats please we have a lot to get through.”
Several speeches, awards, and student recognitions later the principle finally reached then end of the awards list.
“And last but certainly not least the award for the student with the best outstanding GPA goes to…Benj Nielsen!” She announced.
Instead of cheers and claps instead there were only, laughs.
Benj who still sat way off to the side by himself, heard his name being called but did not acknowledge nor move an inch because he knew damn well what would happen if he went out on that floor.
“Benj, are you here?” The principle.
Those that knew where he was didn’t call him out, but also saw that he didn’t move either.
“He’s over there y’all!” A boy suddenly pointed out.
Benj could feel all the eyes on him and didn’t want to have to go through this again.
Reluctantly, he got up and slowly made his way to the podium, trying his best to ignore the jeering and teasing from everyone else around him.
“Way to go lover boy!”
“Will you be my girlfriend?”
“Sing for us again, Stevie Wonder!”
“Stevie! Stevie! Stevie! Stevie!” The crowd chanted and jeered at Benj.
Who was looking at the ground hoping that it would swallow him up from where he stood and just put him out of his fucking misery already.
Bailey, on the other hand had enough of this bullshit, Benj was a good guy and didn’t deserve this at all. Not caring what happened she stood up walking onto the floor right towards Benji.
Benj, wrapped up in his thoughts
Before Benj could say anything to her she caressed his face bringing his lips to hers in a kiss.
A kiss that made the crowd go silent with little gasps here and there from the students.
Each moment passing by became another where Benj and Bailey became more enraptured and lost in their kiss that grew more and more passionate by the second. As those in the world around them seemed to fade away into nothing to the point where it just seemed to be the two of them.
Eventually, they broke the kiss both of them gasping for air, but remained in each others embrace.
When their eyes met, Benj finally found the first spark of life in his shriveled heart as he felt her warm and loving smile and beautiful brown eyes slowly mending what she hurt.
“Benj, will you be my boyfriend?” She asked her voice, soft and sincere.
A beat passed and for the first time in weeks Benj gave a smile.
“What are you doing, Bailey?”
She cupped his face in response. “What I should’ve just fucking did the first time.”
“What’s that?” He asked.
“Be myself!” She answered.
With that they embrace in another kiss even more passionate than the first one.