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Yeonoh made his way into Jaehyuk’s office. It had only been a few days since he’d come here to tell him to back off from his life, and while Jaehyuk had complied and stopped meddling with his work, he then found out he had been keeping tabs on him by using his brother. So now, he was making his way there, to cut things off, once and for all. Messing with him was one thing, but his brother was off limits. Their father was dead and their grandma was on her deathbed, he’d be damned if he let that cursed family near Yeonjun.
He entered the room, Secretary Choi giving him an annoyed glance before leaving. Jaehyuk raised from his seat as he came in.
“To what do I owe this visit?” He asked, obviously pleased to see him.
“I know you told my brother to…” But Yeonoh trailed off as his gaze stopped on the potted plant on Jaehyuk’s desk. Well, it used to be a plant, but now it was all brown and scrawny. He bit his lip, he shouldn’t laugh right now, he was pissed.
Jaehyuk hurriedly grabbed the plant and hid it behind his desk, obviously embarrassed.
“I got this as a gift.” He justified himself.
“Right.” Yeonoh nodded, the corners of his lips threatening to rise. He needed to focus on the task at hand. “I heard you asked my brother to keep you updated on what happens to me. Did you not think I would find out? ”
“I’m sorry.” Jaehyuk raised his hands in a placating manner. “It was the only way for me to be sure you were fine, since you wouldn’t talk to me.”
“You should have stopped after I came over last time. I thought I had made myself quite clear?!”
“I know... It’s just difficult for me, to just leave you alone when I know you’re in trouble.”
“I don’t want to hear your excuses. Until you can give me a valid reason you’re doing all of this, I don’t want to hear it.”
“Alright, I get it.” Jaehyuk walked closer to him. But his foot caught the leg of his chair and he tripped, banging his leg hard on the side of his desk.
Yeonoh couldn’t help the snort that left his lips. Jaehyuk stood up right away, the tip of his ears reddening in embarrassment as he tried to compose himself in front of him. Yeonoh had never seen the other man act this way before, so he relished in the moment. It felt good not being the blubbering mess, for once.
“I gave it some thought.” Jaehyuk continued. “The reason why I’m doing all this."
“I don’t care, I just want you to give me your word, you won’t get in touch with my brother anymore.”
“He was the one that contacted me first, every time.”
“Because you told him to.” Yeonoh stood his ground. “Find an excuse, tell him you don’t work with me anymore. I already told him as much, so you just need to say the same thing.”
“I will.” He conceded.
“Great, I’ll be on my way then.” Yeonoh turned around to leave when Jaehyuk desperately called to him. He knew that if he didn’t go through that door right now, he would regret it. But the need he’d heard in the other man’s voice, was like music to his ears. And he wanted to see Jaehyuk reaching earnestly for him. So against his best judgement, he turned to face the taller man.
“What if something else happens to you? Does he have anyone to contact if you’re in trouble?” Jaehyuk asked.
Yenoh sighed. The fact of the matter was that Yeonjun and him only had each other now. So they better get used to getting by on their own, as soon as possible.
“He can call my manager, or the emergency line.”
“Right..” Yeonoh could see the defeat in his eyes. And the crease that appeared between his brows, made him look positively pitiful. He wished he didn’t have to be this harsh, but Jaehyuk had played with him long enough. And even after all that, he still liked him, making it hard to see him so dejected. But Yeonoh had to stand up for himself and make Jaehyuk understand he couldn’t just toy around with him.
“You said you gave what I told you last time some thought.” He sighed, feeling weak for not leaving as soon as he could “What conclusion did you come to?”
“I think it was a mix of pity and sympathy.” He admitted. “Or it was at first, I’m not sure how or when it started changing, I’m not even sure what is different. I just know that I’m concerned about your well-being and I feel restless not knowing where you are and how you’re doing.”
Yeonoh frowned, the words did not make him feel any better, on the contrary, it made him bitter. “And have you tried to understand why?”
“Yes. But I’m not sure where I stand.” Jaehyuk admitted. He guessed he could be happy Jaehyuk was being honest, but the words only fueled his fury.
“Then give it some more thought as you slowly kill that plant.” And on those words, Yeonoh left without looking back.
The next weeks were as peaceful as they could be with a jam packed schedule. He was feeling tired but the dinners he forced himself to eat, as to not worry his brother, did give him some sustenance.
He had the day off today so the plans were to go see his grandma and then take Yeonjun to the library, hopefully it would motivate him to take his studies more seriously as his exams loomed in.
The visit at the hospital was short. Their grandma was still unresponsive and the dejected look on his brother's face as they watched over her silently, was unbearable to him.
They then made their way to the library, Yeonjun was less than happy and made sure that Yeonoh knew that by grumbling complaints under his breath all the way there.
Once they arrived, they sat at one of the tables, facing each other. Yeonjun shot him a pleading look but he did not falter. Annoyed, his brother sighed one last time and took his books out to start working.
Yeonoh knew his brother had the capacity to do well in class, the issue was that he didn't put effort in anything if it wasn't fun or challenging to him. Once he had his diploma, he would be able to study something that he liked more, he just had to hang in there.
And since Yeonoh was being booked for a lot more acting jobs now, money would start coming in and he might be able to send his brother to study abroad. That way, if things turned sour for him, his brother wouldn't have to face the consequences.
Seeing his brother deep into his science book, he decided to do some memorising of his own. He pulled out the script of the latest role he planned to audition for, and started studying his lines.
They had been hard at work for over an hour when his brother kicked him in the shin, he looked up, annoyed.
"What?" He asked, with a sigh. "You can't possibly tell me that you're done."
"No, that's not it." Yeonjun pointed at something behind his older brother. "Isn't that Mr. Kwon you used to work with?"
Yeonoh whipped his head around fast. And way too eagerly for his liking. He had not heard from Jaehyuk since his last visit and the thought that they would probably never see each other again had been depressing.
There had even been times when he hoped Jaehyuk would come to him, and tell him he loved him, and make all his problems go away. However, at the same time, the thought of it pissed him off to no end. He didn't want to depend on someone, he needed to take care of his own business and stop wishing for a knight in shining armour, especially one that could never imagine having feelings for someone like him.
His eyes locked on the familiar silhouette right away, as if they had been trained to recognise the man at any angle.
Yeonoh could only see his side profile but Jaehyuk looked great, as usual. He was wearing blue jeans, a black turtleneck, and his hair was down. Just how Yeonoh liked it.
He felt another kick under the table, reminding him his brother was still there. He turned back to him, Yeonjun was observing in silent confusion.
"Let's just say hi to him, we've been working for over an hour so we need a break anyway."
"We don't work together anymore!" Yeonoh hurriedly said.
"So? His brother raised an eyebrow. "He was good to you while he did, so we can at least say hi."
Before he could protest further, his brother had gotten up and was already screaming through the quiet room.
"Mr Kwon, hello!" He called.
Yeonoh watched in horror as his brother waved and everyone in the room glared at them. He didn't dare look back. What if Jaehyuk thought he had asked Yeonjun to do that…
"It’s nice running into you." Jaehyuk's deep velvety voice approached. "How are you doing?"
Yeonoh felt a shiver down his spine as he felt Jaehyuk's presence right behind him. His whole body had flushed at the sound of his voice, and now he was too mortified to face him.
"We're doing well, you remember my brother of course." Yeonjun said, beaming. "We're really thankful for all the help you gave us. It's a shame you're not working together anymore."
"Ah well…" Jaehyuk hesitated. "I was especially fond of your brother so I didn't have to think twice about it, so there's nothing to thank me for. If anything, I'm the one that should be grateful."
Yeonjun did not answer, the confused expression on his face showing he didn't quite understand what Jaehyuk was alluding to. Yeonoh, on the other hand, understood the underlying message, his heart beating fast in his chest as he was, once again, overjoyed by the smallest of things.
"It's great to see you again, Yeonoh." Jaehyuk finally said.
"What brings you here?" He asked, finally turning around to face him.
He saw Jaehyuk flinch, his blue-grey eyes avoiding him as he showed the books in his hands.
"House plants and how to care for them." "Interior plants: the extensive care guide."
Yeonoh felt his cheeks rise up as he fought the urge to laugh. Did he intend on reviving the dead plant in his office? Magic books would be more helpful, considering its state.
"Oh, do you like plants?" Yeonjun asked.
"Well I heard they can be a great way to entertain oneself, so I'm trying it out."
"How is it going for you?" Yeonoh couldn't fight the urge to tease him.
"It keeps me busy, so it works in that sense, but I'm not sure the plant is having too much of a good time."
Jaehyuk's eyes finally met his, and Yeonoh felt himself melting under his gaze. He had made up his mind that he wouldn't run after him anymore, not until he fessed up. But his body didn't seem to have gotten the memo.
"You have to truly want to care for it, otherwise all the books in the world won't be able to help you. Plants aren't dumb."
"What are you talking about?" His brother asked incredulously.
"It's not possible to wholeheartedly take care of someone if you don't love them. Because it's a very hard thing to do, something that asks you to be selfless to a degree. It's the same thing for plants." Yeonoh insisted.
"Yeonoh I think we should really take a break, you're talking nonsense."
Yeonjun was looking at him like he was crazy and Jaehyuk seemed a bit annoyed.
"Then what do you do if the plant gets sicker the more you care for it." He asked, dryly.
"Well, you can give it all the care in the world but if it's not what the plant needs it's not going to work. It's not your fault, but sometimes even when we try our best, we fail. It may just be that you just can't give it what it needs. "
"I'm going to go get us something to drink." Yeonjun said as he stood up, practically running away before they could add anything.
Yeonoh sighed, now his brother had succeeded in running away from studying.
Jaehyuk took a seat next to him.
"Yeonoh." He called, making the younger man turn to look at him. "I think we need to talk."
"About?" Yeonoh asked, acting uninterested but his heart was beating fast.
"After being apart from you for so long, I realised I missed your presence. And not in a way you would miss a friend…" Jaehyuk paused thinking of the best way to phrase it. " I understand why you were mad at me, and I know I can't complain because I did so much worse to you. But it hasn't felt the best to be rejected and ignored by you these last few weeks. I'll tell you what I feel, not because I want to change your mind but because I owe it to you. I can't tell you when it changed exactly, but it's been a while since you stopped just being someone I needed something from. I was unfair to you and hurt you because I was frustrated that you didn't open up to me, or seek me out when you needed it. I got furious when I thought you would rather be hurt than call me for help."
Yeonoh stayed silent, he could only hear his heart drumming in his ears. Feeling hot, he fidgeted with the collar of his shirt. His head was empty, unable to process what he was hearing.
"I just want to know one thing." Jaehyuk said, eyes looking down on his hands. For the first time since they met, he looked completely defeated and Yeonoh had to fight the urge to hug him. He hated seeing him so down but he didn't feel ready to forgive him just yet.
"Do you think we'll ever get past this? Or did I mess up too many times already?"
"It depends..."Yeonoh said carefully.
"On what?" Jaehyuk hurriedly asked, looking up at him.
"On what happens next. I feel like you're on the right track but I can't guarantee I will ever feel safe enough to open up myself to you again. I want to, but I'll need you to make the first step and prove your sincerity to me."
"Then, will you let me get in touch with you?!"
"I will, as long as you promise not to intervene in my career. If you do, it'll just feel like we're back where we started." Yeonoh gazed into his eyes as he told him this, diving straight into the blue pools where he’d lost himself plenty of times before.
"I won't interfere. But if you ever need help with anything, professional or personal, please tell me."
"We're not that close yet. But once we are, I will " He could see Jaehyuk was disappointed to hear that but still agreed nonetheless. Yeonoh was glad he had given their relationship a lot of thought and while he still wasn't ready to accept his help, he was happy to see Jaehyuk care enough to offer.
"You're auditioning?" Jaehyuk asked, his finger tapping the script.
"Maybe we shouldn't talk about work."
"Why not, that's typically the type of discussion close friends share. I promised I wouldn't interfere."
"Alright." Yeonoh reluctantly gave in. "I'm auditioning in two days."
"Which role?"
"Second lead." He bashfully said, feeling embarrassed to be so greedy. "But I'm fine with anything."
"Don't say that." Jaehyuk interjected. "You shouldn't settle for anything less than the role you want. You have to tell yourself you can make it until you do. You're better than you think."
Yeonoh smiled at the words, they may seem a bit harsh but he knew it was Jaehyuk's way of encouraging him. It felt even better, knowing Jaehyuk didn't say anything he didn't mean. That was how he had ended up falling for him. And it was ironic that the man that had shown the most faith in him in all of his life, was the man that had ended up harshly rejecting him in the end.
"I probably should get back now, I have appointments this afternoon."
"Alright, I'll see you around?"
"You will. " Jaehyuk smiled as he got up.
"Did it help?" Yeonoh couldn't help but ask before he left. "The usb, did it help?"
Jaehyuk stopped in his tracks. "It did." He looked like he was going to add something but ended up staying silent.
"I'm glad. " Yeonoh felt like a weight had been from his shoulders. "At least it wasn't all for nothing." He sadly added for himself.
"It's best if I don't tell you more." Jaehyuk apologised. "For now, at least."
"Okay." He nodded.
"I'll call you. So please pick up the phone."
"I'll answer if I have time." Jaehyuk smiled at that and grabbed his books. He was a couple steps away when Yeonoh called after him.
"Jaehyuk!" The man turned around, surprised. "Don't buy these books, your plant is already dead."
"Ah." He sighed. "I had a hunch."
"You'll do better next time." Yeonoh offered consolation.
"I definitely will."
It was a promise.