Archive of Our Own

                If you had told Jongho that he would have played the fake boyfriend, one day, he would have laughed at you for being so stupid. Then, he would have made sure you forgot that idea, because there was no way it would happen. Yet, Fate loved jokes, and after months of struggling to find a job, he followed Mingi’s (stupid) idea: he became a fake boyfriend. He didn’t do that for fun, clearly, and each time that he thought about his advert – written with Yunho’s help – he wanted to hide in embarrassment. When Seonghwa learned about it, he had looked at Jongho with a blank expression, and when he woke up from it, he started worrying about his reasons, before a call stopped him. Jongho had never felt so relieved when the call came and made Seonghwa busy. He had never met his elder’s boyfriend, but the day it happened, he would thank him for that.

         The first answer he got for his advert was a woman. The girl wanted to feel what it was like to have a boyfriend, and it was how he ended bringing her to every spot she thought about. He came back tired, and his two roommates laughed when they saw the mark of a kiss on his cheek. They stopped when they learned that she tried something else, and it was a wonder Jongho was able to stop her. From then, he decided to remind his customers that he was a fake boyfriend so no, he wouldn’t follow them to the hostel or home. The mere thought that he had almost ended in a bed with a woman when he loved men sickened Jongho, and yet, he couldn’t help but wonder what kind of face she would have done when discovering that he wasn’t able to raise it for her. But he spared the embarrassment for both, because Jongho was a gentleman, even with his worst enemy – the players he played against in League of Legend didn’t believe that, but it was their bad faith speaking.

         Jongho didn’t know why, because women’s way of thinking was impenetrable, but the experience didn’t get the woman angry, on the contrary, and soon, he found a few of her friends to his arms, as a fake boyfriend. He got better in his act, and he earned more money, so it was fine. He couldn’t be difficult, anyway, as he really needed the money: his parents had accepted to pay the rent of the small apartment he shared with Mingi, Yunho, and Seonghwa, but they refused to pay his supplies for his arts major (and for his skin in League of Legend, but that was another story).

         His job started to change a little when a girl asked for his help, and in addition of playing the fake boyfriend, he played the beard. It was the funniest date he got, the girl, Eun Mi, being a little menace; and being one himself, of course, they got along well, and to this day, they kept speaking, annoying Eun Mi’s poor girlfriend who asked for nothing. Thanks to Eun Mi, he got other jobs for being a beard, and he had to reevaluate the number of queer people in his college, because it almost felt like that straight people didn’t exist (but he tended to think they didn’t exist anyway, they were just a common product of their imagination).

         Jongho’s life was full of dates and parties and nothing could have warned him of what was to come. The sword of Love fell on his head one day, but because he was oblivious, he wouldn’t notice it before a long time; and if, in fact, he had noticed it earlier, this story wouldn’t have been interesting to tell. So, let’s thank his blindness.

         It all started on a Monday morning. Jongho was in his art history lesson, almost falling asleep, when he received a mail in his ‘professional’ mailbox. He hid behind his comrade – it was a tall man, and Jongho always sat behind him in case of emergency like now – and opened the mail. It was, of course, someone asking for his help. The mail was signed with a cute K｡:ﾟ૮ ˶ˆ ﻌ ˆ˶ ა ﾟ:｡Y and Jongho hoped it wasn’t one of the girls in his class trying to get his attention again. When he glanced at the group, though, everyone was (faking) listening to the teacher, with no phone in hands surprisingly enough. Maybe it was fine, then, so he answered the mail fast; and the next ten minutes were spent to fix a first rendezvous to meet each other: Wednesday morning, in the coffee shop in front of the campus. Once it was settle, he pushed the thing aside, and focused back on the lesson (to not avail).

         On Wednesday morning, Jongho was sat at one of the coffee shop tables, an Americano in front of him, waiting for his rendezvous to come. The coffee shop was filled with students of various background, and he hoped it wouldn’t be difficult to find her, as KY – he decided to call her like that – didn’t give him any indication on the way to recognize her (nor did he, so they were even). As he was waiting, a new student entered the shop, and because Jongho appreciated arts in all its forms, he eyed the newcomer without a shame. Long brown hair framing a doll face, hazel eyes behind black glasses, a birthmark near his left eye, the man could have been a model. His ears were pierced, contrasting a bit with the shy attitude he had, this part helped with loose clothes as if he tried to hide his body. It definitely was a piece of art, Jongho thought, and hadn’t he been waiting for KY, for sure, he would have asked him to pose for him.

         The art turned his face towards him, and their eyes met. Jongho felt something cross through his body, but he ignored it as the other smiled and came closer to him. Did the other fall in love with him? Was it love at first sight?

“Excuse-me, are you Jjongbear?”

         Ah. It wasn’t love at first sight. Wait a minute… Jjongbear? Did it mean that KY was this man!?

“Yes, it’s me,” he smiled, trying to calm his heart.

         If it was really KY, then it would be the first man asking for his help. The first handsome man. He didn’t remember seeing him on the campus, and even if there were various people, he knew that he would remember such a handsome man.

“And you are the dog emoji person, right?”

“Does it bother you?” KY asked in a whisper, and his hands clenched around a small white dog key holder that reminded vaguely something to Jongho, “That I’m a man, I mean.”

“No.”

         The other man seemed relieved, and he excused himself, telling him that he was going to order something before they start their conversation. Jongho nodded, and finished his own Americano while waiting, already thinking to buy another one; but he got a surprise when the other arrived with two cups, and one of them was an Americano for Jongho.

“You didn’t need to,” Jongho said, taking the cup KY gave him, “thank you.”

“I wanted to,” the answer was.

         Then, KY sat in front of him, back straight, hands on his knees, eyes looking away, clearly the opposite of Jongho who sat, legs crossed, relaxed. They stayed quiet for a while, Jongho waiting for the other man to start the conversation: he couldn’t wait to hear why a cute man like KY would want a fake boyfriend – it was even rare for men to ask for a fake boyfriend. If they searched a beard, of course, they would ask a woman.

“I’m sorry to bother you,” the other man started with his deep voice, “but I really need your help. For a party.”

         A party wasn’t surprising – most students went to parties to relax – and Jongho nodded.

“I don’t like to go to parties,” KY confessed, “but my best friend wants me to go and… Well, to hook up with someone. He’s worried that I’m always alone or something like that.”

“If it’s your choice to be alone, I don’t see the problem.”

         He was lucky that none of his roommates bothered him with his romantic life; not that he would listen to them anyway. Seonghwa was too busy with his own boyfriend to put his nose in other’s business, anyway (but he would go feral if one of his “babies” was hurt).

“I know right!? But Wooyoung is… Well, he’s worried and wants me to be happy,” KY shrugged. “Anyway, I told him I had a boyfriend already and that I didn’t need to hook up.”

“Ah. Let me guess, he wants to meet that non-existent boyfriend?” Jongho chuckled.

“Urgh, he’s the worst,” KY pouted and oh, that was an appealing view he had right now.

         Even if KY seemed defeated and wanted to disappear under the table.

“When he’s the party?”

“On Saturday. I’m sorry, it’s short-notice.”

         It meant it was in three days. It was indeed short, but not impossible. Well, maybe he was thinking with his gay brain, and wanted to please the young man in front of him, his first male customer.

“Yeah ok. Is there anything I should know about this party?” Jongho asked, then he frowned because it somehow clicked in his mind, “is it the one thrown by Kim Hongjoong?”

         The other student nodded. Kim Hongjoong studied Fashion Design, and was rather popular with both women and men. He also heard something else about him, but Jongho couldn’t remember what. Certainly, it wasn’t important.

“Frankly, if we can only go there, say hi, and leave, I would be the happiest,” KY sighed.

“Do you think they will let you do that?” Jongho chuckled.

“No,” he answered, amused, “but I suppose that one dance or two won’t kill me.”

“But me being a very bad dancer will kill your feet.”

“You can’t be that bad.”

“Ooh, you’re not ready for the disaster I am.”

         KY laughed, and oh, what a laugh! Jongho fell in love with it, and he wished he could hear it every day. Except that he was a customer, and except Eun Mi, he didn’t keep a friendship with the others.

“Okay, then, let’s speak about what I can and can’t do,” Jongho started and given the confused look KY gave him, he added, “as your fake boyfriend, I mean.”

“Oh, uh, yeah, sure.”

         And so, they started to speak about the things KY accepted and refused. No kisses on the lips, unless it was KY who started it (and there was few chances for that), but cheeks and forehead were ok. Holding hands were ok too, and touching his back or his waist was fine, but better if didn’t happen. Hugs? If they could avoid it, it would be better, but knowing his friends, KY didn’t want to look suspicious and accepted a few of them. Jongho avoided telling him that they would be suspicious anyway, given that they would barely show signs of love between each other, yet, KY seemed to be someone not fond of physical touch – a good thing because Jongho nether – so maybe his friend wouldn’t mind.

         After that, they settled for the hour of the rendezvous, and once it was done, KY asked him with a soft voice:

“How should I call you?”

         It was when Jongho remembered that they didn’t introduce to each other before starting everything.

“Jongho,” he smiled, “what about you? I can’t keep calling you dog emoji person.”

         The other student laughed, small sparkles in his eyes.

“Yeosang will be better.”

         Yeosang. What a lovely name, he thought. He didn’t tell him, though, because he would be very unprofessional of him, and Jongho was everything but that (at least, that was he thought). They ended drinking, speaking about things and others to know each other better, then, they left each other. Without really understanding why, Jongho felt empty once he was alone, and to ignore it, he dug for his earphones in his bag, and listened to his favorites songs for hours.

*~*~*

“What do you think?”

“That you should use something more colorful. The red suit would be better.”

“I’m not going to the circus, Mingi.”

“And you’re not going to the cemetery either. It’s a party, god damn it!”

         Near them, playing on his phone, Yunho seemed too engrossed to understand what was happening around him, but Jongho knew better: he was listening. Seonghwa came in the room – the one he shared with Jongho – looked at him, and sighed, before taking three pieces of clothes and throwing them at him.

“You’re going to a party, Jjong, not to church.”

“Why are you so stressed?” Mingi cocked his eyebrow, “like, you never thought too much about your fake date outfits.”

“None of his date had been a man after all,” Yunho stated, his eyes still on his phone.

         Jongho rolled his eyes. No, he wasn’t stressed, and no, he wasn’t trying to find an outfit good enough to please Yeosang. He just wanted to look good tonight. So, he focused on the eldest, thanking him for his advice when he noticed the way Seonghwa was dressed.

“Are you going out tonight?”

“… Yeah? At the same party as you. Hongjoong invited me.”

“You know him?”

         There was a blank after his question, and Jongho felt that he had said something he shouldn’t with the way everyone – Yunho excluded – looked at him.

“Are you joking? Because it’s not fun,” Seonghwa answered.

“What?”

“I think his mind is full of a pretty boy and he has forgotten everything else.”

         Count on Yunho to add to the chaos. Seonghwa deadpanned at Jongho, who looked away and noticed Mingi trying to steal one of his chocolates. Jongho would take his revenge after the party.

“You’re an idiot, Choi Jongho.”

“Sorry, Mom!”

“Hongjoong is my boyfriend.”

         Oh. AH.

“Right, that’s why I knew his name.”

         Seonghwa sighed and shook his head, before sitting at the desk and taking one of his numerous nail polishes. And when Seonghwa was polishing his nails, it meant the night would be serious for him and his boyfriend (i.e. he wouldn’t come back home).

“What’s the name of your fake date, by the way?” The elder asked, the tip of his tongue between his lips.

“Hm? Yeosang,” Jongho answered while putting his clothes.

         If he sounded a bit in his dreams while pronouncing the name, it was only between him and his thoughts. He ignored Mingi’s grin.

“Yeosang,” Seonghwa repeated, stopping what he was doing for a few seconds, frowning, “it’s not what we meant when we told him to take his balls…” he whispered next, but Jongho didn’t fully understand it so he answered with a:

“Huh?”

“Nothing.”

         With that, the man finished his polishing, then stood up. He kissed everyone forehead – why? None of them knew and none of them wanted the answer – then left with a strong ‘see you at the party’. What Jongho didn’t want was to meet Seonghwa at the party, not because it would be embarrassing, but first because he knew that his boyfriend would be fake, and second, because he wanted to protect his eyes.

         Noticing that he would be late if he kept taking his time, Jongho hurried up, and left the apartment, not without asking his two friends not to stay in their room, and not to burn the apartment (he had a bad memory of Yunho trying to cook and almost burning the kitchen). Once he was in the street, he searched on his phone Yeosang’s address, then followed the instructions given. He passed in front of a flowers shop, and stopped, staring at it. Should he? He used to buy a bouquet for his fake dates, or at least with the women who he felt it would be fine (Eun Mi had laughed, but had accepted them). Would Yeosang like it? He wasn’t sure, but at the same time, Jongho wanted to buy him something, so he entered the shop and brought a single rose. Flower in hand, he finished the walk to the address.

         Once in front of the door, he took a deep breath, and rang the bell. The door was opened a few minutes later, and Jongho’s heart stopped beating for a few seconds at the sight in front of him. He had thought that Yeosang was a piece of art, and he had been right; but tonight? Tonight, he was an angel: he wore a white shirt, with a light blue jacket atop of it; his pants were blue, imitation leather, and his shoes, white sneakers. His make-up was light, with a few glitter dust at the corners of his eyes.

“Hello,” the young man greeted him with a smile that could kill men.

“Hello,” Jongho answered back, a bit dumbly, though, before handing him the rose, “that’s… for you.”

         Yeosang blinked, and his smile grew bigger, a slight pink trait adorning his face.

“Thank you! I’ll put it in a vase.”

         And then he disappeared behind the door, letting Jongho alone – whose eyes fell on his backside and yeah, certainly the best fake date he had since he started. Focus! He scolded himself, but when Yeosang came back, he wasn’t focused at all.

“You’re gorgeous,” he blurted out, and he found the way Yeosang’s cheeks became pink really cute.

“I… Thank you, but not as gorgeous as you.”

         The last part had been whispered, as if the young man had been scared of telling him that for whatever reason. He tried comforting him by smiling, then gave him his arm, and asked:

“Shall we go?”

         Yeosang nodded, and the two (fake) boyfriends went to the party, using the common transport to go there. When they were in front of the house – why did Kim Hongjoong have such a big house? – they could hear the music and the laughs inside. Beside him, Yeosang gulped, and he squeezed his hand.

“It will be alright. If you feel uncomfortable, or anything, tell me, ok?”

“Thank you, Jongho.”

         Then, the entered the house, hand in hand, their ears suffering the loud music, and Yeosang looked around. Their plan was to find Yeosang’s friends, say hi, dance once or twice, drink once, and leave. It should be easy, Jongho though, but the more he looked at Yeosang, the more he noticed that the man was puzzled, and when he sighed, Jongho knew that the first part of the plan was already difficult.

“I can’t find them,” he complained.

“Perhaps are they in the garden?”

         Yeosang didn’t answer, and Jongho pushed him softly towards the garden, with his hand on his back. He felt him shiver, and Jongho put away his hand fast: it was an okay thing to do, they spoke about it, but he remembered that Yeosang would rather avoid that, certainly because it was too intimate for him. They weren’t boyfriend, and the reminder of that bothered Jongho. Maybe after the party, no, after their contract ended, he would search for him and ask him out. It was a good idea, he decided.

         As they walked towards the garden, avoiding other people at the same time, Jongho noted the table with drinks. He leaned a bit, and whispered in his ear:

“Do you want something to drink?”

         A bit surprised, Yeosang turned his face towards him, their faces so close that Jongho could feel his breath on his cheek.

“Yeah. Is there beer? I need one.”

         Jongho chuckled, and they approached the table, where they found beers. He handed one to Yeosang, who thanked him with a smile, and as he was opening his bottle, someone took him in an embrace from behind, surprising the two men.

“Sangie, you were here!”

“Hey, Youngie…”

         Said Youngie smiled to his friend before turning his face towards Jongho, small sparkles in his eyes. Must be the famous friend, he thought.

“You must be Jongho,” the young man said, “I’m Wooyoung, and this is San,” he pointed at a man behind him that Jongho hadn’t noticed until then.

“Nice to meet you,” he answered.

         Between them, Yeosang was playing with the rim of his shirt, looking away. Cute. It was a pity that he was so nervous, so Jongho would make sure that the young man would be less distressed around his friends. He surely disliked lying to his friends, Jongho could understand that, so he decided, he would end that party soon to free the young man of his burden. Even if the idea displeased him given that he wanted to spend more time with him, to learn about him, about his hobbies, about everything (he thought about kidnapping him, but he feared to be thrown in jail afterwards).

         Wooyoung, Jongho discovered, was a lively young man, caring for his friends. And he knew everyone. He even brought Yeosang with him somewhere, leaving Jongho alone with San, the both looking at the best friends disappearing among the crowd.

“… Did he forget us?”

“Wooyoung is always like that, living in the moment,” San chuckled.

         And Jongho was surprised by his voice, even if he shouldn’t have. Because if Yeosang, with an angel face, had a deep voice, then of course, San who had a sharp face, had a soft voice.

“Should I be worried for Yeosang?”

“No, he will take care of him, don’t worry.”

         Jongho would worry nevertheless, because Yeosang clearly had wanted to leave quickly, and now, he was lost somewhere between his best friend’s arms. He noted to search for him in five minutes. Beside him, San didn’t seem worried at all, and took a beer, before waving to him, leading him in the garden. There were a few couples there, and from the corner of his eyes, he noticed Seonghwa sat with Hongjoong on a bench, looking at the stars (he registered that fact into his brain, just to annoy his elder a bit once he would be back home).

“I’m glad Yeosang and you are a thing, now,” San stating before taking a sip of his beer, and Jongho blinked, confused.

“Right?” He answered finally, trying to be vague.

“Yeah, he spoke about you for months. We told him to try speaking with you, but he never dared. It’s a wonder how he succeeded asking you out. I’m proud of him.”

         Jongho’s brain stopped working – not that it worked properly to begin with. He didn’t even know what to answer to that, because, what did San mean by ‘he spoke about you for months’? They knew each other since three days, how could Yeosang speak about him for months? And asking him out? He had so many questions, and the only person who could answer him was certainly dying in the fire of the dancefloor.

“Yeah, we’re lucky he made the first step.”

“No offense, but you don’t look like the shy type,” San chuckled.

“And yet, I am.”

         He should, perhaps, think about becoming an actor. He seemed to be good at that.

“Can I ask you how he asked you out?” San continued, unaware of the turmoil he had put Jongho in, “He refused to tell us.”

“Well…”

         Think, Jongho, think! He scolded himself. But how should he find an answer to that? Fortunately, Wooyoung chose this time to come back, bringing Yeosang with him. The young man seemed tired, and rubbed his temples to relief them. Jongho took this occasion to do the thing he was supposed to do: he came closer to Yeosang, and took him in a hug.

“Ooow, how cute!” Wooyoung commented.

“You look tired,” Jongho sighed, “do you want to leave?”

“Y-Yeah,” Yeosang whispered, “thank you.”

“Already?” Wooyoung pouted.

“Sorry,” Yeosang smiled sadly, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“It was nice to meet you,” Jongho smiled, and waved, before taking Yeosang’s hand, and leading him outside the party.

         He noted the way Yeosang’s hand was warm and pleasant to hold, and without thinking, Jongho intertwined their fingers. When he glanced at the young man, there was a slight blush on his cheeks. Once they were outside the house, far away from the laughs and the music, they both let out a sigh of relief. Still hand in hand, they took the way towards Yeosang’s building, slowly, not speaking, enjoying the quiet of the night.

         San’s words kept echoing in Jongho’s mind, though, and he wondered if he should tell Yeosang or not about it. He felt bad knowing things he shouldn’t, and at the same time, he didn’t want to embarrass the young man at his side. What should I do? He thought, a lot, and by the time they arrived in front of Yeosang’s apartment, Jongho had an idea (one that would be deemed stupid by other people, but he thought that it was perfect).

“Thank you for tonight,” Yeosang stated and bowed.

“I’ve done nothing. In the end, your friend took you from me for most of our act.”

“Wooyoung…”

         It seemed that the mere memory of that annoyed him.

“About the price…”

“It’s okay, don’t worry for that.”

“… I’m sorry, what?” Yeosang blinked, confused, “But I thought…”

“It’s fine, I want to change it for once.”

“Huh?”

“What about you inviting me in a date. A true one, this time?”

“W-What?”

         He was so cute with the blush on his cheeks, and the sparkles in his eyes, and… Yeah okay, calm down, brain.

“But you need to ask me out.”

         Like that, it wouldn’t be a lie anymore. Right? Yeosang opened his mouth, closed it, played with the rim of his shirt, then took a deep breath.

“Do… Do you want to go out with me?”

“When?”

“Huh… Are you free next Saturday?” He answered softly, “We could have lunch together.”

“Sure, I’ll keep my Saturday for you, then.”

         Jongho smiled as the obvious relief Yeosang showed. He hoped that it was a good idea, and that, at least, the young man would feel at ease with his lie to his friends. After all, he did ask him out, in the end. Once it was done, they bid each other goodbye, promising each other to keep contact to settle their date better.

*~*~*

         Maybe it was a twist of fate, Jongho didn’t know, but the next week, he saw Yeosang in college every day. The first time had been at the college library: he had wanted to sit in a quiet place to be able to focus on his arts project, and he did focus on it for hours. When he decided that it was enough and saw that the library was nearly closed, when he raised his head and stretched, he noticed Yeosang, three tables away, sleeping. Jongho bit the interior of his cheeks, before putting his things away in his bag and coming closer of his former customer. His friend? His future date? He didn’t know how to describe their relationship.

         Yeosang’s sleeping face was cute. His glasses were at the edge of his nose, and there was a small line of drool leaving his lips. His head was resting against a bunch of papers, and one of his hand was on a book. Jongho squinted a bit, reading the papers, and blinked. So, Yeosang was a literary student. It meant they were often in the same building; how come they never met before? Or maybe Jongho never noticed him? Yeosang surely did, given what San had told him by mistake during the party. After a few seconds of contemplating him, he put his hand on Yeosang’s shoulder, and pushed him a little, trying to wake him up.

“Yeosang, the library is about to close.”

         Yeosang stirred up in his sleep, his lids moving fast as he slowly opened his eyes, then he raise his head fast.

“Oh shit.”

         He took a tissue from his bag, erase the drool on his chin, and looked at the man standing beside him.

“Huh, Jongho?”

“Yeah, sorry to wake you up. I was leaving and noticed you. The library is about to close.”

“Already?” Then he shook his head, “Sorry, thank you for waking me up.”

         Then, he started putting his things into his bag.

“Need help with your things?”

“No, it’s fine, thank you.”

         Yeosang wasn’t looking him in the eyes, and he wondered why, until he remembered that he apparently was interested in him. Now that he knew… Yeosang quickly finished his thing, then the two men left the library. Before they parted away, though, Jongho offered him to give him his personal kakao talk id. Honestly, he didn’t really understand why he did that, but he was glad that the excuse that they were meeting on Saturday was accepted.

         The second time they met, it was in the restroom, confirming that they were in the same building. Yeosang was with Wooyoung, and seemed in deep conversation with him, so Jongho didn’t dare approaching him. Yeosang turned his face, though, and their eyes met; they nodded at each other, before Jongho left the place.

         The third time it happened, it was once again at the library. Jongho noticed him at the same table as last time, and hesitated to go bother him. So, he sent him a text while going towards the coffee vending machine.

“I’m at the coffee vending machine, want a drink?”

“Huh? I think you texted the wrong number, Jongho.”

“No. I’m at the library coffee vending machine. I saw you, want some?”

         He bought his own coffee while waiting for Yeosang’s answer, and when he got his cup in hands, he finally received a text.

“A cappuccino, please. I’ll pay you back.”

“No need to pay me back.”

He bought the cappuccino, then with the two coffees, he approached Yeosang who was scrolling on his phone. Jongho smiled, and stated:

“Is it how you work?”

“I’m taking a small break,” he answered with a smile, “thank you for the coffee. And hm… You can sit with me? If you want?”

         There was a slight blush on Yeosang’s cheeks when he offered him that, an offer that Jongho decided to take. He had come to have a quiet place, and focus on his work, but spending time Yeosang was better. He didn’t know since when he felt like that, if it was genuine or not. What if it wasn’t? What if it was because he felt bad for knowing Yeosang’s feelings, and he wanted to give him as much as he could? In any case, he installed in front of the other young man, and they both focused on their work, sometimes whispering things and others about their life. And Jongho enjoyed every bit of it. He enjoyed the slight blush on Yeosang’s cheeks that seemed to be there forever now, the sparkles in his eyes hidden behind his glasses, his beautiful smile, his deep voice, his laugh. Such a piece of art should be forbidden, tied away from the darkness of the world for it to stay pure… And Jongho knew that if he was saying that aloud, the police would be called right away. Maybe he didn’t stay only because he felt bad for Yeosang. There was something else, something he didn’t try to dig more into it, fearing a bit what he could find.

         They kept seeing each other over the week, as if they were drawn to each other, and Jongho soon learned that the library was Yeosang’s second house, and a place where he was free from Wooyoung. The young man loved his best friend, it was clearly visible when the name was (often) mentioned, but he didn’t mind the peace he got when he was at the library, and so, the library also became Jongho’s second house.

         On the night before their date, Jongho was lain on his bed, his eyes focused on the ceiling. Seonghwa was at his desk, working on his Lego, apparently bought by his one and only. Jongho couldn’t help but think about the day to come, wondering if it was a good idea to go forwards. Wasn’t he playing with Yeosang’s feelings? That mere thought sickened him. He didn’t want to play with his feelings. He wanted… He wanted…

“What’s happening?” Seonghwa suddenly asked.

“What?”

“You’re usually a little menace, but tonight, you’re too quiet. What is it?”

         Jongho hesitated a few seconds. Seonghwa was generally of good advices, and almost never judged him. Perhaps could he seek a few answers from his roommate.

“Do you remember my fake date for Saturday party?”

“Yes? Did something happen?”

“I… didn’t make him pay. Well, not with money.”

         Seonghwa turned towards him with an horrified look, and without further ado, he asked:

“What have you done!?”

“I told him to ask me out on a date.”

“…Oh god, I got scared for a few seconds. What did he do?”

“He asked me out on a date. Tomorrow.”

“So, what’s the problem?” Seonghwa tilted his head on the side, before focusing back on his Lego, “Does it bother you?”

“That’s not… During the party, I met his friends, and one of them told me something I shouldn’t have known. He told me that… huh, he had feelings for me.”

“Ah. And so, it bothers you.”

“It’s not…” Jongho scratched his neck, “it’s complicated. I kept spending time with him for the past few days, and I feel like I’m toying with his feelings. I don’t like that.”

“So, you’re going to cancel your date?”

“No!” Jongho shouted, offended, “of course not! I just… don’t want to go to a date with that feeling.”

“Then tell him,” Seonghwa sighed, “listen, Jjong.”

         The older stopped what he was doing, and came sit beside Jongho. He took one of his hands, and started:

“I know Yeosang for years, since middle school actually… Even before because our parents are neighbors, but anyway.”

“What!?”

         That was news now! Oh shit…

“Yeosang is an angel. He’s kind, and often in the clouds, and to many, he looks naïve. He isn’t. I wouldn’t be surprised that he already knows that you know.”

“… How can he possibly know?”

“Because San has a fucking big mouth, nobody can stop him.”

“How do you know it was San?”

“…”

“Seonghwa?”

“Maybe I heard a discussion between the two of them.”

“Oh my god!”

         Now, it was over. If Yeosang knew that Jongho knew about his feelings, it was time for him to hide somewhere nobody would find him. Maybe going abroad would be a good idea. No, a desert island was better. He would be lost and would disappear. Good. Very good idea.

“Jongho,” Seonghwa called him, forcing him to go back into reality, “calm down.”

“How can I be calm!?”

“I just told you that Yeosang is kind, and certainly not stupid. If he kept speaking with you, and still dates you tomorrow, then it’s fine. He’s fine, and you’re fine.”

“No???”

“If you feel so bad about that, then, speak with him,” Seonghwa sighted, “what are you afraid of? That he stops a date that he had dreamed of for—” Then Seonghwa squinted, as if something clicked, “wait a minute, Jjong. Are you afraid of him getting angry and leaving?”

“… Wouldn’t it be normal?”

“But… It means that his feelings don’t bother you, right?”

“No. Why would it be the case?”

         They stared at each other for a few seconds, until Seonghwa’s eyes widened, to the point that Jongho thought they would leave their sockets. If it was the case, there was no way he would help him get them back! It would be too disgusting.

“Are you in love with Yeosang?”

“In love is maybe a strong word,” Jongho stated, “I… may be interested, however, a little bit.”

“…”

“A lot?”

“You’re going to bed, Choi Jongho, and sleep, and go to that date, and speak with Yeosang, and kiss him, or else I’m going to kick your ass. And I’ll bring Hongjoong with me, he loves kicking asses.”

“Okay, Mom.”

         Said Mom whacked his shoulder, before going back to his desk.

“Dumbass.”

         Maybe he deserved that one. More relaxed, he obeyed his friend and went under his blanket.

*~*~*

         The date had started in a coffee shop set in the downtown. Jongho thought that he had arrived first, because even in that case, he was competitive, but was surprised (and a bit disappointed) that Yeosang was already waiting for him, looking cute playing with the rim of his shirt, and yet, looking so sexy in his outfit. Actually, maybe Jongho was very biased on this one, but to him, Yeosang was cute and sexy at the same time, there was no in-between.

         When Yeosang spotted him from where he was, he stopped playing with his shirt, and sparkles appeared in his eyes, and Jongho wondered how he should survive that day. Maybe he lied to Seonghwa. Maybe he wasn’t interested a bit or a lot; maybe he was in love or whatever term young people used now (love was, in fact, a good term, and no, he wasn’t a grandpa just because he used that one). Once he came back into reality, Jongho came closer to Yeosang, and after a few politeness, they entered the coffee shop. The fact that they barely spoke during their coffee should have stopped them, but Jongho didn’t feel awkward about that. In fact, the silence was pleasant and comfortable, something he never felt with someone else, and it seemed that Yeosang felt the same.

“I told Wooyoung and San about our deal,” Yeosang suddenly stated, eating a bit of the pastry he bought.

         His chin was covered with Chantilly cream. Jongho smiled and, without thinking, he used his finger to clean his chin, before licking the whipped cream on his finger. They both froze at the action, staring at each other. It was Jongho who was strong enough to save them from that.

“And what did they say? Were they angry?”

“Oh, huh, not really? They seemed amused. They called me a genius for whatever reason,” Yeosang frowned, “I think Wooyoung loves to be played with.”

         Or maybe they understood because they’re not stupid. But then, why would San tell him about Yeosang’s feelings? No, they couldn’t have known. Right? Yeosang had brought the subject, though, and Jongho knew it was time for him to shine (that expression was stupid he thought, because he was about to add shades to the date), yet, he found himself unable to utter even one word after that, because Yeosang was looking through the window, and enjoying the scenery of two dogs playing together. And he didn’t want this smile to disappear, so he just stayed quiet and finished his own pastry and coffee.

         If you asked Jongho how they ended at the Aquarium afterwards, he would answer a simple ‘I don’t know’ because he really didn’t. He had vague memories of hearing a family speak about the aquarium, and Yeosang suddenly very interested, and now they were in a dark room, enjoying the view of terrible beasts (turtles weren’t terrible beasts per se, but Jongho couldn’t read their mind, so they were).

         The young man couldn’t really focus on the view of the sea animals, because he was focused on another view, the very one that Yeosang accepted to show him, his eyes brightening, all cute in his outfit. There was a small Cinnamoroll keychain hanging out from his pocket and yes, Jongho thought, it suited him. He bit his lips. Yeosang seemed so happy, and it was so unfair that Jongho was there, knowing what the young man felt for him, and he needed to stop that. He needed to tell him before it was too late.

“Yeosang?” He called, and the young man turned his face towards him, happiness visible on his face.

         And Jongho hated himself for what he was going to do.

“Can we speak seriously for a few minutes?”

“Sure,” Yeosang tilted his head on the side.

“Last Saturday, during the party,” he started, “when your friend took you away from me, San spoke with me. And he told me that you… have feelings for me. And I feel bad about that, and—"

“I know,” Yeosang stopped him with a smile.

“You know?”

“Yes. San told me,” he continued, “apparently, he did it on purpose, because they knew who you were. Seonghwa had spoken about you a few months ago, apparently.”

         Ah. He frowned.

“Wait, so it meant that you knew that they knew?”

“No,” he answered, “I wasn’t there when Seonghwa told them.”

“So how did you know that I was doing this job?”

“Eun Mi.”

“Eun… You know Eun Mi?”

“Of course, we’re in the same class.”

         And Eun Mi never told him that there was an handsome man in her course? That foolish woman! He would need to speak with her as soon as possible, because he needed to know everything about Yeosang. It was a vital point (that was what he thought until he remembered that he could just ask Yeosang himself). 

“Oh, huh…”

“Anything else?” Yeosang asked softly, “If… If you’re not comfortable with that, we can stop this date and—”

“No!” Jongho shouted, maybe louder than intended because it startled not only Yeosang, but also the people around, “no,” he repeated calmer, “I want to continue it. It doesn’t bother me. I… I’m interested in you,” he finally stated.

         Surprise was visible on Yeosang’s face, and if they hadn’t been in a dark room, he was sure that he would notice the blush on his cheeks.

“Oh, huh… Okay! Let’s continue, then…”

         He seemed embarrassed. Jongho pondered for a while, looking at the way the young man was moving as if he wasn’t sure how to answer that, then decided to go for it. He had nothing to lose, and none of them would make the first step if it continued like that. So, Jongho moved and caught Yeosang’s hand in his. The young man froze for a few seconds, before nodding. After a few minutes of silence, Jongho finally asked the thing that bothered him for days now:

“How do you know me, though? I mean, I’ve trouble figuring out how you can have an interest in me while we never spoke.”

         Yeosang stopped and turned towards him, none expression of his face.

“See? Wooyoung always asked me why I wasn’t bold enough to go speak with you, and you just proved my point: you didn’t notice me.”

“…Huh?”

“We already spoke, actually. Twice.”

“Twice? When?”

         How could he forget about that? Oh my god, I’m the worst!

“The first time was during Seonghwa’s birthday, last year,” Yeosang answered with a smile, “I don’t blame you for not remembering it, there was too much people at this party, and we barely exchanged three sentences.”

         Yeosang shrugged. Jongho remembered Seonghwa’s birthday, and he had spoken with a lot of people that night, before locking himself in his room. If he spoke with Yeosang, or even noticed him that day, he didn’t remember. Still hand in hand, Yeosang led him in another room: this one was darker, and Jongho wondered if the Aquarium staff paid their electricity bill.

“The second time,” the young man continued, “it was a few months ago. During the Arts exhibition. There weren’t much people that day, and you were in front of your art. You seemed displeased, and I didn’t understand why, so I asked you.”

         It had been said softly, almost in a whisper, and Jongho stopped. The Arts exhibition of their college had been tiring, especially because each of them had to show their favorite pieces made by themselves, and present it to the public, repeating again and again the same things. Jongho disliked almost all of his arts at this time (he still did actually but it was a story for another time), and on the last few days, tired, he was pissed off by the one he had presented. Among his works, it hadn’t been the worst, and he had chosen it, but by the end of the exhibition, he hated it. Until that one day when a pink-haired handsome student appeared out of nowhere, asking him what the matter was, holding a white dog keychain, and they started to speak about his works, and arts in general. When the exhibition was closed, that day, Jongho was more confident in his capacities. Wait…, he suddenly noted, a white dog keychain? The same one that Yeosang was holding when they first met at the coffee shop?

“You are the pink-haired handsome man!?”

“Han…Handsome?” Yeosang repeated, before shaking his head, “but yes, I had pink hair at that time…”

“The one who gave me confidence in my works? The one I searched for days but to no avail?”

“… You searched for me?”

“I even spoke about you to Seonghwa? And he never…!”

 Jongho was outraged that Seonghwa never told him that they knew each other. He would need to speak with him!

“You searched for me?” Yeosang repeated, in disbelief.

“Yes! I wanted to thank you, and hm… Ask you out because I found you very handsome, and very interesting, and I wanted to know you more,” he confessed, rubbing his neck, “But I don’t know, after that day, everyone had pink hair, and I never found you.”

“Oh… Oh.”

         And then, Yeosang started to laugh, attracting a few glances on him, and that laugh, Jongho thought, was the best thing the heard in years.

“I’m so sorry,” he finally stated once calmed down, “yeah, I had pink hair at that time, but the next day, I dyed them in black because my hair was in a bad shape and needed to rest. If Seonghwa didn’t tell you, it’s certainly because he didn’t think it was me. I told them I went to the exhibition and met you a few weeks later, and I have my hair black by then.”

“…So, you’re telling me we missed each other because you changed your hair color?”

“I think so.”

         After not finding him, Jongho had stopped searching for him, and tried his best to forget him. After all, Jongho had thought, if he didn’t find him, it meant that they weren’t meant to, and he started his fake boyfriend business just after. He stared at Yeosang for a while, still not believing that Fate was so cruel (and also Seonghwa and Eun Mi, because they could have told him about Yeosang!). Said Yeosang came closer to him, and whispered:

“I’m handsome?”

“Yes.”

“And you’re interested in me?”

“Yes.”

“And you want to ask me out?”

“…Yes. Even if we’re already on a date, I would like to have another one. Actually, you owes me many dates to compensate the days of searching for you.”

“Okay. But what about ending the current one perfectly?”

“Oh? Do you have anything in mind?” Jongho asked with a smirk, because Yeosang’s face was very close to his, and he could feel his breath against his lips.

         Yeosang didn’t answer with words, but with action, and they shared a kiss, the very first of a long series of kisses, Jongho was sure of that. Because there was no way he was going to let him go now that he caught him, that one handsome man who gave him back his confidence, who believed in him. Pink, black, brown, he could even be blond or green haired, he would keep him with him, and if he needed to tie him somewhere, he would (the future would prove him right as he tied him more than once to their bed).

         Jongho would stop being a fake boyfriend, he decided, because Yeosang deserved to have a boyfriend, a true one, someone who would love him and care for him in every way possible.

         And Jongho was perfect for that.