Chapter Text
~Unedited~
Standing outside of the black wooden door my thoughts fight each other "I'm just asking a question what wrong with that, nothing its just a question"
'You'll probably just be interrupting his work, Simon has better things to do then answer a stupid question from a worthless brat like you'
I Shake my head trying to get him to stop talking.
'Stupid bitch'
You don't think i already know?!?
I knock on the door before he could reply
I hear a slight "come in"
I push open the door and look up to see papers everywhere on Simon desk, him scribbling things on different papers
"Niall, i'm kinda busy, what could you possible need" I hear him not even looking up from the papers
'I told you'
"Um-uh, in L-LA my mic was turned down um for like the whole concert" I sheeped out
"They were just testing out what the band would sound like live without you," he looks up to me with bored eyes, "was that all?"
I franticly nod my head sprinting out of Simon's office.
I only make it down the hallway before i bend over gasping for breath.
'Ha, you didn't even run that far and you're already panting like a dog, you fatass'
I wince at the comment,
As I stand up and walk down the hallway into the elevator still out of breath.
'Are you sure the elevator could hold your fat ass? And you should take the stairs at least you would lose a calorie or two'
I walk out of the shinny elevator hearing a familiar voice yell "hold the door!" I hear 3 pairs of feet running towards me, i turn around quickly holding the door of the elevator. "Hey Niall," I Look up to see a out of breath Harry, Liam, and Louis, "Thanks for holding it" Liam says patting my on the back and walking into the elevator with louis following
Harry goes in but holds the door urging me in.
I look up to him confused "come on Niall" "bu-but it won't hold all of us, there would be too much weight, i'll just take The stairs" "too much weight? What i'm sure this elevator could hold 3 men and a small cute irish man"
'Lies'
"Come on Haz if Niall doesn't want to come on he doesn't half to, were missing the game hurry up" Louis whines from inside the elevator
Harry shrugs at me and lets go of the door letting it close with the three of them in inside.
I sigh running my hand though my blonde hair.
'Ha to think you have a crush on him, you gay fag no one will ever like you they'll just pity you'
I walk the 15 floors down the the lobby out of breath sweat coating my face making my hair stick to my chubby face.
Employees give me a disgusted look at my sweat covered body.
'Even sweating you look more like a pig, ha'
I head outside to see the limo gone, a frown found its way onto my face
'See they forgot about you, or they just didn't want you to take up all the space because of your fat ass'
I wipe the corners of my eye's, going to the curb to catch a taxi. Finally when i do there's an old mad maybe around his 60's "keep starin kid and i'll sock ya one"
We were on our way after i told him the hotel address.
'I bet the old shit is speeding just to make sure he can get you out of the car as fast as possible for the car doesn't break down because of you'
I lay my head down on the dirty window trying to block him out
He's been in my mind sense that one day
*********
Flash back
**********
"Goodbye sweetie, have a good day" my mum says closing her door behind her.
I watch her speed off heading to who knows where.
'Wow she didn't even want to bring you into school, well i wouldn't want to too if my son was an ugly freak'
Tears brim my eyes as they search for the person who said these vial words.
'You stupid fucking bitch, i'm in your mind god damn you're so fucking stupid'
I wince pullin my hands over my ears as i hear the cuss word.
'You stupid baby'
I wipe the tears the somehow ended up falling down my face walking inside the new building
********
End of flashback
*********
"Yar! Kid get out me car"(huehuehuehue)
His voice jumps me out of my day dream making me smack my head on the side of the dirtied window. My hand cradles the injury as i practically fall out of the car, I pay my fair quickly trying to get away from the grumpy man. I walk my way through the lobby with all eye's on me.
'Of course they have their eye's on you, you look like shit with a big ass welt on the side of your head and you look like shit, wait that's just you'
I hang my head as i make my way to the stair's trying to shake their stares off my body judging me every second i'm in their view.
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I push the keycard into the slot opening the door slowly. I hear laugh's and the crumpling of chips bags making my stomach rumble and a jealousy sink into my bones. "Let's play truth or dare!" Yell's Louis and it sounded as he jumped on Liam making him cough up an 'oof'. Harry giggles and says a yes. "Okay Liam! Truth or dare!" Louis says as i watch him jump up and down on Liam. "Ugh fine, just please stop" Liam pushes Louis off of him and flicks Harry in the head for laughing at the two. "Truth" Liam says after Louis finds his way onto Harry's lap making jealousy make its way into my heart. "Okay, uhhhh i got it!" Louis yells jumping up from Harry's lap. "What do you think of Niall?" Louis smirks laying on te ground. Liam clears his throat looking around before whispering "I don't want to talk shit about Niall but i think he's annoying and has a horrible voice" Liam hands find its way to his mouth covering it. Louis laughs patting his back as tears roll down my cheeks. "Don't worry Li, i think the same" Harry looks uncomfortable after Louis says those words. "Uh, guys i don't really think that, he's got a few good qualities" Harry whispers as he scratches his neck. Lou snorts muttering "Yeah right!" Sarcasm laced his voice. "Look how freaking fat he is! I mean like he stuffs his fat face all the time he should take more care of himself before he dies from type 2 diabetes or something" Louis throughs some popcorn at harry and also puts some in his mouth.
'Look other people think what i think, so now you should believe me because other people agree"
I run up the stairs not caring of the racket I make, trying to keep the bile down my throat. I slam thebathroom door closed double checking that the door is locked.I squat down to the toilet emptying my stomic into it. I lay my my head on the toilet seat thinking. Just thinking. Thinking of what my life would be like if I wasn't ugly, dumb, a whore, fat, disgusting, a loser, ect. My mum and da would love me, I would be wanted in the band, I would be happy.
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