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"And that's all for tonight!"
"Stay tuned for dates on our next concert!"
"You've all been a wonderful audience!"
The energy generated from a collaboration between 1010 and Yinu reaches a new high- ever since Bunk Bed Junction saved the city from the falling satellite, the big names in NSR have started to work together to produce more energy. Rin calls for everyone- including Neon J and Yinu's mom- to come to the front of the stage to all bow together. The former of the two droops his shoulders upon hearing this.
"Go on without me, soldier."
Rin gives a strange look to the leader.
"Is something up, sir?"
"No, no, just-"
Yinu speaks up.
"If you're scared, then don't be! It's not that bad after the first few times."
Neon J's radar scanner on his display idly lets out some beeps.
"I have an idea- let's all hold hands on stage when we bow! Is that okay with you, JJ?"
The man can't stop himself from letting out a small chuckle from the nickname he's been given.
"Alriiight, I'll come up with you guys."
All 8 members from both artist labels walk up to the spotlight together, doing just as what Yinu asked. Neon J isn't used to being in the spotlight compared to the robots he's created- at least, that's what he keeps telling everyone. Regardless, everything seemingly goes well, and the tour concludes.
In the audience, one keen observer notices the cyborg struggle. The mumblings of DJ Subatomic Supernova aren't audible to anyone but himself in the midst of the audience cheering.
"It seems I must delay my request to collaborate with this man."
...
An hour passes by. Neon J asks the boy band to give him the rest of the night to relax, to which they agree. He stares at the ceiling of a private room with an arm on his head.
"Why did.. hmm.. hmmmm.. grahhhhh-"
His mumblings are interrupted by a knock on the door.
"Status report, troop?"
With only one ping on his radar, he expects to see Rin again. He is not prepared for the sight of the galactic DJ instead. His back bolts straight up from its slouching position.
"Oh! Hello, Commander Subatomic Supernova. Is something the problem?"
"Yes."
The two stare at each other.
DJ Sub lets out a small cough before elaborating.
"I have noticed your behavior at your latest concert. I am here to check on you."
Neon J cocks his head at this.
"Did Tatiana send you?"
Supernova shakes his head, letting out a sigh as he does so.
"Is it wrong to want to ensure my equals are not struggling?"
"I suppose not."
"Well then, tell me what's bothering you."
DJ Sub closes the door behind him, sitting himself across from Neon J. He puts his hands in his lap.
"I'm ready to listen."
"Are... are you sure, Commander? You don't seem the type to look up on people like this."
"Like I said, we are equals. If you do not want my presence, I will take my leave."
Neon J's radar pings rather loudly.
"No no, you can stay. Just... give me a moment to think of what I want to say. I was not prepared for any visitors today."
"Take your time."
"Thank you."
It takes a long minute for the cyborg to prepare himself for what he wants to say. He places his hands on his thighs before letting out a breath.
"Do you remember how Yinu's piano broke earlier this year?"
"What about it?"
Neon J stares down at his legs again.
"It... reminded me of why I became a cyborg."
Supernova tilts his head.
"Oh? In what way?"
"It just..."
The cyborg's grip on himself tightens.
"It broke so easily, just like my old body. Seeing that, I thought Bunk Bed Junction was going to do the same to me. Even now, seeing the piano reminds me of myself. I don't want to break like that ever again."
His voice begins to shake.
"My... my crew... I miss- they, I mean-"
"Take some deep breaths, it's okay. Once again, take as much time as you need to say what you want to say."
"I don't know if I can continue speaking."
He's gripping his head.
"Is there another way you can communicate it apart from words?"
Neon J is quiet for a moment.
"I... can do this."
The display on his head changes to static. He tilts his head to face directly at the DJ.
"Here."
A video starts to play.
...
Bright lights. Doctors and nurses speaking amidst each other. This is all the soldier is able to comprehend as he rests on his back. He attempts to flex a hand that doesn't exist. At least, not after what just happened. He knew joining the Navy could have serious consequences on his mind, but not once did he consider it'd also affect him physically. He tries to move his foot but there's nothing below his legs. Everything hurts. He is too tired to try and get up. He closes his eyes.
Shoddy lights. He's barely able to make out a figure looking him over. Whoever it is, he hasn't the slightest idea. He's not sure how long he's been asleep for. The person says something to him upon seeing him move his eyes, but the only thing he hears is white noise. With nothing else to do, his mind begins to think.
His ship. It was on the receiving end of an explosive cannonball. He was so close to it. It should've taken him down with the ship. It should've killed him.
His head starts throbbing with pressure.
It's at this moment he realizes his head hurts more than the rest of his body. In fact, he can't even feel the rest of his body. He's been numbed. Did he get captured by the enemy? He tries looking around more, but his vision is just a blur of dull colors.
He closes his eyes.
Pain- something's cutting into him. He tries moving his head, but it won't obey his will. He tries letting out a cry for help, but nothing. He can sense everything, from the sound of the saw's high-pitched spinning to his tender skin being disconnected from itself. It's all vivid to him, but he can't do anything about it.
If he died, would it have been this painful?
It's hard to focus on these thoughts when time keeps slipping from his mind. It's hard to stay present in the moment, he's coming to realize.
He's not sure how long it's been since the pain started, but it stopped at some point. He's so tired, but now he can rest.
The sound of a radar ping wakes up the soldier. Again, he's in a different room. The lights in this one are bright, but it doesn't seem to bother him after the first minute of coming to. Colors form into more shapes, and he can see the ceiling tiles clear as day. With some effort, he props himself up on a bed with his remaining hand. He then sets aside the blanket keeping him warm.
The sight of legs where there should not be any shocks the man.
Are these his legs?
With nothing else to do, he attempts to get out of bed.
Moving them feels natural, as if he's done this before. With the gaps in his memory, it's possible he did. Two quiet clanks are audible as he reaches the ground. More follow while he paces around the room.
He's happy that walking isn't an issue, but that feeling's washed away as the alien sensation of these limbs takes over his mind.
He pokes it with his hand. Metal clings on metal as he realizes what's happened.
He's mostly inorganic now.
He feels the rest of his body- apart from his right hand and some other random segments of his torso and lower body, the rest is unfeeling metal- he didn't even notice his left arm was back until now. He's horrified to also feel his head be changed as well- no longer could he hold his head like a ball as in place was a flat monitor.
"Whaaat?"
His autotuned voice startles him. Despite not seeing his head directly, he can feel a ping occur on it. Someone's nearby.
All these new sensations cause him to hasten his breath- he can't even feel his nose or mouth like this, how is he breathing!?
Breathing. Instinctively, he begins to take deep breaths. He thinks of what he's fighting for to calm him down. He can't be vulnerable, even with whatever's going on. He needs to be ready for anything.
Even with a clear mind, he has zero clue what's going on. He remembers the cannonball, but everything surrounding that memory is hazy, apart from seemingly random snippets of lucidity. Looking at his body again, the area above his heart is notably still intact. He puts his organic hand on it.
Despite all odds, his pulse is normal. He's not truly a human anymore, but he's not a robot either. He's grateful to have a reminder that he's still alive regardless.
A realization hits him- is the rest of his crew okay?
Someone enters the room. He recognizes it as one of the nurses from an earlier memory.
"Where is everyone else?"
Their eyes immediately look down, giving away their answer before it can be said.
It's impossible to maintain any sense of composure.
...
The recording on Neon J's head cuts out, returning the radar display. He looks down at his legs, grabbing them tightly.
"...does that explain it?"
His voice is as shaky as in the video.
"Are you okay?"
The cyborg looks directly into the swirls of DJ Sub's head.
"What?"
"You started trembling. You still are."
"Oh. Give me a moment."
Replicating the memory, he tries to take deep breaths. He does this for half a minute, before Supernova abruptly puts a hand on his shoulder, startling Neon J.
"Please excuse me. You just recalled traumatic memories. This method won't work. But right now, I'm here with you. Let me help you calm down. Please."
The cyborg gives a small nod to the man. He's promptly given warmth throughout his body in the form of a hug. He tucks himself in his embrace.
"You're safe here."
Though muffled, the sounds of Neon J's unfiltered voice begins to cry out.
"I miss them, I don't know why I'm not dead! It's not fair for only me to live!"
He grasps the DJ's shirt tight, pulling it away from his skin.
"Would your crew want that? For you to die with them?"
"I... I don't know. Would anyone else even care if I died now and joined them? I'm not the one in the spotlight, my boys are! They could just find-"
The planetary swirls inside of Subatomic's head mix violently.
"NO."
He lets go of Neon J. A star burns brightly inside of his head as he raises his voice and size.
"Did you see how happy Yinu was when she was talking to you? Did you not notice the graffiti done of just you around your own district!? How do you think we'd feel if you were found dead because of your own thoughts? How do you think I would feel?"
He tries wiping away a tear, but it only invites more to form.
"The thought of you dying just- I can't bear the thought. You lived for a reason, whether you realize it now or not."
He only stops wiping tears away when he realizes his arms have grown in length and are wobbling just to stay up. He sets himself back down as he slowly calms himself down to shrink back to normal size.
"Apologies, I did not mean to become so... passionate all of a sudden."
He tilts his head down to avoid seeing the reaction of the cyborg.
“You... really do care about me, huh."
"I... do."
"I didn't realize so many people did."
The air is heavy in the silence between the two. It takes a minute for the two to continue speaking.
"What am I supposed to do now?"
"What do you mean?"
"Do I just live for others? Am I supposed to get on stage with everyone else?"
"You do not need to justify your existence."
"But-"
Subatomic gently shushes Neon J.
"What have you been doing between that memory and now?"
Neon J thinks for a moment.
"I built my boys, then one thing led to another and I own a district with them now. I enjoy leading them like my old crew."
"Then keep doing that. What's stopping you from enjoying that?"
A reply is unable to be given.
"If you would like, I can stay for the night."
Neon J beeps.
"Are you sure, Commander?"
"It seems like you need it."
The cyborg's screen glows a little brighter.
"I... would really love the company right now."
DJ Subatomic Supernova gets up to physically comfort Neon J once again. After telling the members of 1010 what the cyborg wants for tonight, they move to a large bed, where they naturally cuddle with each other. Underneath a large blanket, DJSS acts as a big spoon for Neon J. Both are breathing calmly.
Eventually, the snores of the smaller man begin to fill in the empty air. Subatomic yawns, getting ready to join him in the realm of dreams. As his consciousness fades, he mutters something.
"Thank you for letting me in tonight."