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Sullivan had many disagreements with Sid Carter's life positions. And a particularly clear realization of this came to him when they entered into a relationship.
Sid was sloppy, full of feelings and emotions, while Sullivan learned from childhood to suppress and hide everything in himself, showing people only the ideal version of himself that his father was so eager to make of him.
But they had only one similarity that brought them closer together they both desperately needed love and wanted to love (really loved) each other.
Except that everyone did it the best they could.
All of Kembleford knew about Sid's adventures, but he was not a womanizer in the truest sense of the word, he simply did not refuse girls (in very rare cases, guys) when they offered to spend the night together. After that, no one promised anyone anything, and everyone knew Carter as the perfect one-time lover. But Sid, like everyone else, was desperate for love beyond physical gratification, so when he began a relationship with Sullivan, he showed his love with words and touches (Sid did this carefully, because he saw him sometimes flinch or recoil, but never asked him to stop).
The inspector also could not boast of success in love affairs, and everyone who was initially led by his coldness and attractive appearance also quickly abandoned him when allegedly their love did not melt the ice in his heart in an instant, although Sullivan really did everything he could. And with Sid, everything was strange, Sid didn't demand anything in return, and Sullivan wanted to repay him with the same love. He tried to take care of him as best he could..
"Sid, I understand that you have a day off today, but do you know how much you've drunk this week? Sullivan grumbles again when Sid comes to his house and it is seen that he was sitting in the pub."
"I know how much I've drunk, and I know exactly how much I've had." He tries to answer as discreetly as possible, because he hopes to avoid an unnecessary quarrel.
"No, damn it, you don't know!"
And it repeats itself again: raised tones, a transition to each other's personal flaws, but always one of them leaves when the other is left alone with a feeling of emptiness inside.
This time Sullivan is sitting alone in his living room, clutching a glass of whiskey in his hand, and trying to listen to music on the turntable so that in the ringing silence he is not tormented by remorse. But the music didn't help, and Sid's last phrase rang in my head: "You can't show me that I don't appreciate your care if you don't accept it yourself! I understand that it's hard for you, I'm trying to help you, I'm ready to wait, but you..." He was afraid to imagine what Sid might have added to this if he hadn't decided to run away.
A melody is playing that Sullivan barely remembers, but in this song he finds the answer to all his torments. He knows what he's going to do.
The next day, Carter is back at the inspector's house, leaning his hips against the back of the sofa, studying the man in front of him.
"Sullivan, you're really thinking.."
"Wait," He interrupts Sid before he can finish, "please." There is a plea in his eyes, and the man stretches out his arms to lead him closer to the center of the living room.
Sullivan quickly turns on the player and selects the song he needs. He silently asks Sid for permission to hug him and feels warmth spreading inside him when Sid understands him and hugs him first.
The melody is calm, the singer's voice sounds pleasant, and they both listen to the song, swaying to the beat.
Darling, you and I always make a bet
Strut and stride round the room every night
Every inch of us dies
The events of the previous evening vividly pop up in his head, but Sid continues to sway smoothly in his arms, and Sullivan realizes that this is the only thing he could have dreamed of.
Take what you did and what you said
And turn it up on its head
I hear you hurt in your sighs
I need time but I don’t really know why
"Darling, you and I always make this bet." Sullivan whispers something to Sid at the same time as the performer as the song fades out. "Sid, I..." his voice suddenly begins to tremble, but he pulls himself together, "maybe not, I'm really an idiot," Sid frowns after these words of the inspector, but the man is adamant, "and I'm ready to change"
But this time Sid interrupts him.
"I don't want you to change." Sid speaks loudly: "I just want you to be yourself, and not suppress all your desires."
And Sullivan feels like he's doing what he really wants when he feels Carter's soft lips on his lips.