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Tory’s fist slammed into the metal box like it was nothing, the sharp clang echoed through the hallway. Her anger surged, uncontrollable. Waves of emotion filled her soul. Despair and rage coursed through her body like a wildfire. Yet most of all she felt guilty, and that feeling threatened to swallow her up whole.
“You should’ve caught it!” Her voice broke, raw with frustration.
The doctor watched her, eyes softening with pity. That look—Tory hated it. It made her feel small and weak, as if her pain was on full display for everyone to look at. She didn’t need someone to feel sorry for her.
“You have every right to be upset. You’re grieving,” The doctor said gently.
A lump formed in her throat, hot and choking. Grief? She didn’t need someone labeling her emotions like that, making it sound clinical. Her mom was gone, and nothing anyone said could make that better.
“Just remember, the last five years were a gift. Your mom was—”
“I have to go,” Tory cut her off, her voice sharp, barely keeping it together.
The doctor stepped forward. “Is there anyone we can call?”
Tory hesitated, her shoulders slumping. “There’s no one,” she said, her voice quiet now, drained of anger, left with only the hollowness left from loss.
As she turned and walked away, the doctor watched with a sinking feeling in her gut. This was a kid—a kid who had just seen her mom’s body, lifeless on the floor. A kid who needed help, but wouldn’t let anyone in.
Sighing, the doctor rifled through some paperwork, searching for any contact, any lead that could offer support to the grief stricken girl. One name stood out as it was the only contact not dead, a minor, or in prison:
Amanda LaRusso.
——————
Tory sat slumped against the kitchen table, medicine still scattered across the floor. Her tears had dried hours ago, leaving her eyes red and hollow with none left to fall. She struggled to feel anything at all as a numbness masked over her face. Dark thoughts soon creeped into her mind, tainting the once good memories she kept in her head.
If I had got here sooner I could have done something. Helped her.
Her death is my fault.
I wish she died sooner.
That thought startled her, jolting her back to semi-conscious. The thought felt foreign and jarring, as if it was never hers to begin with. But was it true?
You deserved to be punished. It’s your own fault after all.
In a haze, she grabbed a knife off the counter and watched her hand as if it had a mind of its own. Her hands shook, yet she placed the blade against her tricep, drawing a thin line of blood. Again and again the blade struck her skin, creating a row of angry, red lines. Feeling a welcoming distraction from the nothingness. Pain yes, but feeling something is better than nothing. She raised her hand again waiting for the next strike against her fair skin.
What the hell are you doing? She could imagine her mother saying. She could imagine the disapproval and anger in her voice, as if she were right there. Instead, she held the knife up to her throat pushing the blade ever so slightly into her trachea.
Don’t kill yourself. Brandon still needs you.
She heavily sighed before putting the knife down on the counter.
For Brandon
She collapsed back onto the floor, her head spinning with thoughts. She just stayed there, unsure of what to do next.
—————
Amanda LaRusso was in the middle of her shift at LaRusso Auto when her phone rang. Seeing the hospital’s number on the screen, her heart skipped a beat. She answered immediately, her mind racing through thoughts of Sam, Anthony, or—worst case scenario—her husband’s latest stunt.
“Hello, is this Amanda LaRusso?”
“Yes this is she, is everything ok?”
“You are listed as a contact of one Tory Nichols.”
God dammit Tory. At least she had thought to include her as a contact.
“Has something happened to her? Is she alright?”
“Tory is fine. It’s her mother, Grace Nichols. She unfortunately passed away yesterday afternoon and I’ve been trying to get in contact with Tory but she hasn’t answered anything.”
Amanda took a deep breath, feeling a surge of concern. “Thank you for letting me know. I’ll try to get in touch with her.”
“There’s something else. I know how hard Tory has worked to care for her mother. She’s going to need support right now, and you’re the only contact who isn’t deceased or in prison.” Amanda briefly thinks about if John Kreese was on the contact list for a bit. “You know Tory, if she doesn’t face this now she’s just going to explode later. Please try to get in contact with her.”
Amanda thought of her plan of action.
Goal: Get Tory help
“I’ll reach out to her. Thank you very much.”
She hangs the phone up, only to immediately call her daughter. Her phone picks up the call relatively quickly.
“Sam! Call Robby! Then hurry up and take the car to Tory’s.”
Sam, who just wanted to relax a bit before training, was now up and getting ready.
“Why? I have training with Miguel in a bit. Why Tory’s?”
“She needs some help right now and last time I heard, you and her have gotten pretty close. Tell Miguel he’s doing self training today too.”
“Yea but-,”
“Sam! In the car! Tell Robby to meet us there.”
“Ok! Ok!” Sam rushes out, phone in hand, calling Robby.
——————-
Tory reached into the bag of her mother’s hospital belongings and pulled out a photo. It was a picture of her and Brandon from when she was 12. They were at the fair that day, laughing and enjoying the rides. Tory had let Brandon choose most of them, knowing it might be a long time before he’d have the chance to do something like that again.
The very next day, she had found her mother on the bathroom floor, struggling to get up. That moment had marked a turning point for Tory; she realized she needed to step up and become a helper in their apartment.
As she stared at the photograph, lost in the bittersweet memories, a knock at the door barely registered.
“Tory?” Amanda’s voice called out gently from outside the door. “It’s Amanda, Sam’s mom.” Amanda wasn’t sure why she felt the need to introduce herself. Tory knew who she was. “I heard about your mom. It’s okay if you need someone to cry on, but I’m here to check up on you.”
Silence on the other side. Amanda was genuinely thinking that Tory wasn’t going to make an appearance today.
It’s okay if you don’t want to talk,” Amanda continued. “But I brought Sam with me, and Robby is on his way.”
Inside, Tory sat lost, barely registering Amanda’s words. However, when she heard Robby’s name, her head perked up slightly.
“I need you to let me in, Tory,” Amanda urged. “You’re not in a good headspace right now, and I’m here to help. Just let me in.”
A car pulled up to the complex, and Robby jumped out, running over to Sam.
“What’s happening? Is Tory okay?” Robby asked, his voice filled with concern.
“I’m not sure,” Sam replied, concern laced in her tone. “Hey, Tory?” she called through the door.
Silence met them once more.
“Is she hurt? She might be in trouble,” Robby suggested.
“She’s not in the right headspace,” Sam said. “She needs someone there.”
“I got a call from the hospital,” Mrs. LaRusso explained. “Tory’s mom passed away, and they’ve been trying to reach her.”
Sam’s concern deepened. The Tory she knew was confident and headstrong, but the person behind the door was just a kid who lost her mom. It made her look at Tory from a different view.
“Tory, are you in trouble? Are you hurt?” Robby asked through the door.
Silence again.
"We’re coming in.” Robby used the key Tory had given him for emergencies, letting them into the apartment. The sight that greeted them was bleak: the usual beeping of Tory’s mom’s machines had been replaced by silence. Medicine was scattered across the floor, and Tory sat upright near the door, visibly out of it.
Tory’s mind fog made her thoughts seem muddled. Her vision came and went. The voices of those entering the house seemed muffled and disjointed. As people walked in, all she could do was wish them away, to get out of her house and never come back. But her mind and body felt disconnected.
“Tory!” Robby crouched down to get to eye level with her, as did Sam and Mrs. LaRusso who looked to each other in worry.
Tory’s gaze was distant, her eyes unfocused. It was as if the only things she could manage were breaths and blinks, and even those seemed to require lots of effort.
Sam noticed the faintly bleeding lines under Tory’s sleeve and a fresh cut on her neck. She exchanged a worried glance with Amanda, who immediately spotted the knife on the counter, still stained with Tory’s blood. Amanda took it and set it aside to prevent any further harm.
Sam approached with a wet towel, but as soon as she touched Tory’s arm, Tory flinched violently and pulled away, her eyes sharpening with panic.
The voices of the people crescendoed as Tory hastily tried to backwards crawl away from the person who tried to touch her and from everyone's voices. She couldn’t make out what everyone was saying, as if her ears were plugged with cotton.
Robby reached out and grabbed her hand, bringing it close up to his chest. “Tory.” His voice cut through the haze of her fog. Her thoughts finally quieted down as she looked around, as if she was just now noticing everyone. “Are you okay?”
She shook her head, letting herself fall apart. Tory didn’t care if her used-to-be-enemy-now turned-friend was watching her break down. She was just tired.
“That’s ok. Sam and Mrs. LaRusso are here too. They’re going to help you with the cuts but you need to stay calm.” Robby said softly.
Tory blinked a few times then nodded slow and deliberate. Robby helped her up onto the couch while Sam and Mrs. Larusso inspected the cuts. After the blood was wiped away it was just a few angry red lines staining her skin.
“I don’t know why I did it.” Tory said. Her voice gravely after hours of crying yet quiet as if it were the first time she spoke.
“I just wanted to feel something.”
Sam looked to Tory in sympathy as she bandaged her arm up, making it look like it was never there to begin with. The silence stayed between them for a long time.
Robby tried taking Tory to bed after much fighting back. She needed to train for the fight. After spending hours sitting on the floor and in the hospital, she needed to start moving around again. But even she knew she needed rest.
“You should get some rest. We’ll have the senseis push the fight a day back so we can train tomorrow and tonight if you want so you’ll be ready.”
Tory simply nodded, too exhausted to respond further. She fell asleep almost instantly as she lay down.
As Robby walked out of her room, Amanda asked quietly, “Did she seem okay?”
“Not really, But she wants to fight. I was thinking of having a training session tonight at the dojo, if you and Miguel want to join.”
“Yea that sounds great. I’ll ask Miguel.” Sam said.
“I'm going to go grab some things for Tory’s home, groceries, clothes, whatever she needs.” Mrs. LaRusso added.
“I’ll come with you.” Sam offered.
“Okay, let’s go. And let Tory know we’ll be here for her whenever she needs us.”
Robby nodded in acknowledgement and peeked back into Tory’s room. She was awake again.
“Hey, are you okay?” Robby asked gently.
“My mom is gone,” Tory whispered, her voice cracking.
“I know,” Robby said, his tone comforting.
A silent tear slid down Tory’s face. Robby climbed into the bed and held her close, offering as much comfort as he could.
“I know,” he repeated softly.
fin.