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He lay awake in the middle of the night staring directly at the ceiling of his room. It was dark, only accompanied by the illuminated light of the city outside coming through his window. He took a slow breath as he continued staring. The bed sheets only cover the lower part of his body. Oliver doesn’t remember how or why was he awake this late. Or maybe he does but he doesn’t want to acknowledge it and wants it to be buried deep inside him.
He glances to the side of his bed caught a glimpse of his phone on top of a bedside drawer. He stares at it, contemplating if he should do it—To call his father. He knew it was late but his father would always pick up no matter how late it was. His father meant it after all. ‘I’ll always be there for you’.
He sighed heavily, feeling like he wouldn’t be getting back to sleep any time soon and slowly sat up from his bed and heard the bed make a creaking sound. He glanced around at his dark room of his where it was kept tidy and in place. No matter how hectic his life was he always tried to keep his place tidy and organized.
He sat on the edge of the bed. His legs hit the cold floor and he took a moment to gather his thoughts and mind. Battling against himself on whether he should give his father a call or not.
It’s been a while since he had called his father. They were both busy after all, Oliver with his hectic schedule and his father with his work. But no matter how busy his father was, he always tried to give Oliver a call. And Oliver felt guilty that he had never done the same to his father. And every time his father asked how he was doing when they were on call, Oliver always managed to say
‘I’m fine Dad’.
He feels guilty, lying to his father just like that. Knowing his father would have supported him and be there for him. But maybe that was the reason. Maybe he doesn’t want to add more burden to his father. He told his father that he can do it. Living alone for the first time.
He let out another deep sigh as he got off from the bed and grabbed the phone that was resting on top of his drawer. Deciding to call his father. He swiped his phone and entered his passcode and tried to find his father’s number. It didn’t take long since he favorited it and will always appear on top whenever he opens the contact app.
Oliver’s finger came to a stop as it hovered on the call button. Hesitating before pressing the call button. Afraid that his father had already went to bed and the call would wake his father up and disturbed his sleep in the middle of the night. But despite the time, he knew his father had meant it when he said that he would always be there for him.
His father was the only person that he trusted. He’s always been his rock. Someone that has been there for him since the very beginning.
His finger pressed the call button and heard it ring as it tried to connect to the other caller. He stands up from the bed and slowly walks to the balcony, waiting for his father to answer the call. He reached for the door handle and gently opened the door to the balcony and immediately felt the cold air hitting him as he walked outside. He stood by the railing, watching the city being alive despite in the late night. The sound of the car engine and the street below made the city look more alive in the night.
He leans against the railings as he gazes out to the city below. And just then, the call finally picked up and he heard the familiar voice from the other end. A voice that always managed to soothe him and put him to sleep late at night when he had nightmares back when he was a child.
“…Hello?” Come his father’s sleepy voice. Oliver bit his lips, feeling the guilt building inside him after waking his father up.
“Dad?” He asks almost quietly.
“Oliver, I’m here son” came through his father's voice from the phone sounding a little concerned with Oliver calling in the middle of the night. He hears a rustling from the other side of the call as his father is probably sitting up from the bed now.
“…Sorry for calling you this late,” he said with guilt evident in his voice.
“Hey…” his father had tried to assure him “It’s fine, you can call me anytime Ollie. You know that” and his father meant it.
No matter what time it was, even if it was late at night or early in the morning. His father will always be there to pick up his calls. Just to listen to Oliver.
“So, is there anything you want to talk to your dear dad?” He hears his father chuckle from the other side of the call and can hear the tiredness in it.
“Nothing,” He said “Just… want to catch up that’s all”.
“At the middle of the night?” His father said with amusement
“…I know, I didn’t mean to call you this late” he whispered.
There was a moment of awkward silence before his father let out a deep breath.
“Well, I’m all ears son,” His father said softly and Oliver can hear the smile coming from his father's voice.
He let out a shaky breath feeling slightly cold from the cold night air. “I just wanted to know how it is from your end,” he starts the conversation. Not wanting to stretch it further and keep his father up late at night.
He knew that his father had work tomorrow morning and so did he with his morning class. Mentally cursed himself that he took the morning class with the excuse it would help him wake up early. He sighed, “…It’s been a while since we last talked” he muttered almost quietly, and yet his father had heard him and chuckled in response “I guess it has been a while hasn't it”.
He sighed, feeling the guilt in him again for hardly ever calling his father or even didn’t pick up his father’s calls. “How are you doing dad?” He starts to question his father.
And both of them start to talk as normal. Catching up with each other in life. He listened intently as his father started to speak about his life. Oliver hears his father talk about his current work and the classes he is teaching. Despite being woken up late at night, his father sounds enthusiastic talking about his everyday life when he is speaking to him. As if they haven’t talked for so long and it made Oliver's heart hurt realizing how eager his father had wanted to talk to him.
His father is busy with his life and barely gets any sleep and yet he still manages to spend some of his time to talk to him. He sighs internally once more feeling guilty about it all. When it was his father’s turn to ask him about his life, Oliver had kept it short. He doesn’t tell much and only tells some of his everyday life. Even lied about what he had done. And he always managed to say that ‘Everything is under control’.
But he knew his facade would never work with his father. Even if he is far away, his father will always be able to read him like a book.
Even then his father continues to listen to him despite the lies Oliver told to his father. When Oliver had finished talking, they fell back into silence. Oliver had thought his father might have dozed off or the internet was somehow terrible making the call disconnected. He was about to call out his father when he heard his father’s voice coming from the end of the call.
“…Son, are you alright?: His father asked almost in a whisper, sounding like he was afraid he would overstep.
It sounded so genuine and Oliver tried his hardest to hold back all his emotions, biting his lips hard to prevent the tears in his eyes falling and was about to answer when his father voice come through once more.
“Ollie… I’m here for you, talk to your dad. Please”
And that’s when the tears start to stream down from his eyes. The sound of his father begging for Oliver to talk to him. To open up to him. To tells all of his problems to his father and he will listen to it. All of the emotions he had tried to suppress, hoping that it would pass by time had finally started to come out from him.
“I don’t know If I can do this,” He said shakily, gripping the phone tighter in his palm and closing his eyes tight.
“I don’t think I can do this Dad” he starts sobbing hard. His chest heaved with each sob making his breathing start to become ragged.
He hated it when he cried in front of his father—hated that it would add another thing to his father's mind when Oliver knew that his father already had a lot in his mind. And yet his father will drop everything no matter how important it is so that he can spend his time with him.
His father continues to listen in to Oliver’s cries as he continues to try to calm Oliver down. His father's voice came in soothingly and gently, giving words of encouragement.
It took some time before Oliver finally became much more calmer. He let out a shaky breath, his sobbing slowly subsided, and his breathing became normal once again.
“Son…” his father's voice came from the phone “I know you feel like you are struggling, and I just want you to know that you don’t have to struggle alone,” his father said softly before letting out a shaky breath
“You have me, I’m here son,” he said gently—reminding him once more that his father will always be there for him. That he is never truly alone no matter where he is.
“I will always be here for you Ollie, and that won’t change” he can hear the smile coming from his father's voice towards him—appears to be gentle and caring.
They went back to silence once more before Oliver cleared his throat, voice hoarse from the crying. “…Thanks Dad,” he said softly and he heard his father huff from the phone. It was a crime for him to give his father gratitude after listening to his cries for god knows how long.
“You don’t have to thank me, Ollie,” his father said like it was something obvious. “That’s what I’m here for”. His father chuckled before letting out a deep sigh
“Listen Ollie—” his father's gentle voice came through from the phone “—You don’t have to go through everything alone alright? That’s what I’m here for son” And Oliver let out a shaky breath trying to not cry once more. His head dropped down, eyes closed. “I know…” he muttered because he always knew. That his father is willing to listen to him. Willing to be up late hours just so he can hear Oliver rant about his daily life and his father will be there listening from the start to finish. Fighting the sleepiness in him just so he can hear his son’s voice after a long day of work.
“I’m sorry for not calling you dad,” he said quietly feeling guilty.
“It’s fine Ollie” His father chuckled In response “But you should never hesitate to call me alright?” His father said coming off more sternly.
“Alright Dad,” he answered.
“…Do you still want to talk?” His father asks and can hear him yawning.
“It’s… fine it’s late anyway,” Oliver said not wanting to keep his father up for long.
“You sure?”
“Yeah, I’ll maybe call you again tomorrow,” he warned his father beforehand.
“I’ll be waiting then” His father chuckled softly in response, sounding like he was excited to be able to talk to Oliver more.
“…Good night Dad” he called out softly. His eyes back on the city below him watching it being alive in the late hours, feeling like something heavy inside him finally released from him. Just one simple phone call with his father and yet he felt like all of the problems are gone from him.
“Good night, I love you, Ollie,” his father's soft voice said to him in the quiet cold night.
“Love you too Dad” And he pressed the end button. Hearing the sound of the beep and the call finally ended. He let out a deep sigh, taking one last look at the city before he stepped inside his apartment.