Work Text:
“We're not 'not-dating' anymore”
Red creeping line with no beginning or end. The words pulsated before his eyes with neon colors, trembled, thundered and drawing his attention back every time Klaus tried to distract himself.
The glass stem clinked onto the tray, his teeth nervously chatted against the edge of the new one.
“It seems to me that everything is as it should be.”
Once got the business card of the tailor who made Miranda's amazing Beetlejuice themed suit, he pressed it to his lips and immediately hid behind the belt of his own skirt. The sweetest of his smiles faded when the great and powerful woman pulled out her phone. Without saying a word, she strode into the exhibition hall with the step of a woman who knows what she needs. Klaus could swear that even in the clack of her heels, he could hear "Five, Five, Five."
He inhaled, exhaled, but there wasn't enough air either inside of the building or outside of it. So the terrible ventilation he wanted to blame first and foremost definitely wasn't the problem. Nor was the tight collar of the shirt, he wasn’t even wearing.
A dozen meters away on the other side of the road, he noticed a small group of people, and when realized the recording of his song has been playing from out there, Klaus seriously thought about returning to the exhibition hall. Even if this meant risking suffocation.
"Excuse me..."
"What?!" He turned around, staggered, and couldn't immediately focus his gaze. It took him a sec to get his thoughts together and repeat more quietly, "What?"
"You accidentally took a glass away with you..." The volunteer nodded shyly towards his right hand. "Can I take it away?"
The irritation spark faded before it had a chance to fully flare up. With an abrupt and nervous movement, Klaus downed the remains of sparkling semi-dry and handed back the glass. He even hugged the girl for a second longer than he should have. Although, perhaps he shouldn't have done it at all. The volunteer noticed now way too excited fans out there and, whether due to Klaus drunken affection or purely out of kindness, suggested that there usually were several taxis around the corner of the gallery building.
The car interior was saturated with the scent of sickly-sweet melon, and a rollicking tune hit the ears. Vulgarity itself after Five’s music. Klaus tsked, threw his head back and cursed under his breath.
"Where are you headed, mister?"
To Dave’s place? One of his clients asked for an additional session, and only heaven knows when he will be done with that. It’s too late to call Vanya as well. Or too early? What time zone was she even at? Hit the club? No, better not to. Maybe someone from his contacts will keep him company? There must be someone...
“Mister,” the driver even coughed with an Indian accent. “The meter's running”.
Klaus squeezed his fingers on the soft upholstery and gave the home address without even raising his head. The company he needed was seated on the home bar shelf, glass sides clustered together. Several bottles of wine, a half-empty one of tequila, whiskey, and cognac presented to Dave by grateful clients — none of which was anyhow a good choice given nearly two bottles of champagne already’ve been sloshing in his empty stomach.
— Fuckit!
Hitting pinky on the coffee table leg wiped out all of his thoughts. Not for long enough, unfortunately. Then the phone vibrated in his inner pocket. Several failed pull-it-out-attempts later, Klaus yanked off his jacket, shook it over the couch. It was Dave calling.
Who else could it be?
Even just seeing Dave’s name on the display was impossible to resist, so Klaus smiled like a teenage idiot in love. His legs gave way, and he sank to the floor. He almost answered the call, but his finger froze over the green icon. The screen went dark, only to light up again with a message a moment later.
"Done here. Looks like you're having fun at the exhibition. See you tomorrow, babe. Will bring apologize-pastries. XX."
The phone fell on the floor.
Klaus covered his face with his hands and felt tears rolling down his cheeks. The howl stuck in his throat, trying to rush out, and the alcohol did not help at all to get rid of it. An answer to the "Why does it hurt so much?"-question it didn't provide either.
“We're not 'not-dating' anymore”
He popped a cork. The bottle almost slipped out of his trembling hands. The stomach rebelled faster than Klaus expected it to, and even faster than he managed to reach the bathroom. Clinging to the toilet bowl rim, he hoped that by the next morning, along with a meager breakfast, alcohol, and, perhaps, the stomach itself, he would get rid of his feelings for Five.
No, Klaus desperately prayed for this.
But the tiny shred of hope was crushed by too vivid memories, each one pinning him down like a stone slab. Like at a party an eternity ago, he felt just as awful, and even though Five lectured him about the consequences of reckless drinking, his voice carried concern, and his fingers gently ran down Klaus's back, vertebra by vertebra. Their fingers touched while playing four hands — without breaking the music but slyly messing with his heartbeat. Fingers intertwined, sunken into pillows and crumpled sheets. Fingers, so beautiful and long, glided over the hot skin of his thighs, tangled in his hair during impetuous kisses. Their teeth accidentally clanked, and Five smiled for him back then.
Now he smiles for Dolores. The legendary Dolores. Wonderful, radiating kindness and warmth. And she smiles back at Five in the very same way.
Klaus pressed his cheek against the cold tile and whined.
Sometimes, Five came to visit in his dreams, but tonight Klaus wasn't expecting him to. Clearly, he was at Dolores's, in a spacious loft with high ceilings.
"Klaus… Klaus?"
"You came..." He pressed his cheek to the hand, touched the warm skin with his lips, and smiled.
"Of course, I came."
Klaus forced his eyelids open and for a moment couldn't tell if he was happy or if the sigh that escaped his lips was tinged with disappointment. The one squatting in front of him was Dave.
Nah, he was happy to see him.
"Hey..."
"Hey."
"I might have had a bit too much..."
"You got totally wasted."
Klaus's lips twitched, but sleepy eyes keep smiling softly. David helped him up and guided him the few steps to the kitchen side. After spending the night on the bathroom floor, Klaus couldn't get comfortable on the soft chair cushion. He pulled the crumpled business card out of his waistband and rubbed his face with his palms. In that time, a glass of water and a lifesaving hangover pill appeared on the table beside. There was also a branded box from the family bakery around the corner sitting on the table-top — he could see maple syrup pecan pastries through the window in the lid. His favorite ones. A little further away, a magazine with bold headlines and a full-page photo of Dolores sitting on Five's lap — so close their noses touched.
After washing down the pill, Klaus looked away and took a few extra sips.
"Seems the exhibition was a success," Dave took the glass and replaced it with a cup of sweet black tea. He leaned against the kitchen counter, arms crossed.
"I'll say! Just sensational," Klaus shook his head and winced at the sharp movement. "Dolores's pieces are amazing. They got you at the first glance and never ever let you go. You absolutely have to see them!"
"And Five?"
"What about him?"
"He also had a kind of premiere."
"His music is as brilliant as the bastard himself," Klaus sighed, ran his hand over his face again, and rubbed the back of his neck. "Speaking of him, Five asked me to tell you he finally found a shrink worthy of replacing you."
"Great. I'm glad."
"Uh-huh," Klaus took the teaspoon out of the cup and set it beside. "Why haven't poured yourself some?"
"I'm leaving."
"Hmm?" Klaus frowned and then nodded. "Yeah, sure. Duty calls! Shall we go out tonight? If there won't be any all of a sudden situations, we could have dinner..."
"I'm leaving you, Klaus. For good."
The corners of his mouth twitched, and his face turned into a tense mask.
"What?"
"We need to break up."
A cable broke in his chest, it seemed that he was falling into the bottomless darkness. Like falling in a dream, but the only difference, he couldn't wake up.
"No. We don't," his mouth went dry instantly, his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth. "Why?"
"You know why."
"Why?" It came out demanding and petulant. Klaus bit his lip and didn't blink, but there were so many tears in his eyes that they slipped down the lower lashes. Damn, it turned out he hadn't cried everything out last night.
David stood opposite, not avoiding his gaze. Completely sure of every word and the decision itself.
Klaus raised, brushing the edge of the table, and the cup clinked softly.
"Why?"
"Because you're still in love with Five. And you won't even try to deny it. See?"
David's restrained smile hurt even more, but Klaus couldn't squeeze out a word.
"It was clear from the moment you both ended up in the same room. But back then I thought your feelings were triggered by the accident. That happens a lot, actually — you nearly lost someone you once had a connection with, and the feelings came back even stronger than before. But I was wrong. You've loved him all along since you two broke up."
"But..." more a rasp than a voice. "I love you too."
"I know," David nodded after a moment. He pushed away from the counter and approached. Once again, placed his hand on Klaus's cheek. "And I love you."
"Then stay!" Klaus grabbed the lapels of Dave’s jacket. "We're... We're good, right? We're happy together."
"You're wrong, Klaus. As long as you live the memory of yours relationships with Five and constantly dreaming of what you could have had, I can never make you happy."
"Don't say that. Don't. Just stay... I... I love you both."
Klaus felt David's breath on his lips, but somehow knew David wouldn't kiss him. Klaus pressed his forehead to the soft fabric of Dave's jacket, inhaling his cologne. Familiar wood notes and citrus, the smell of aftershave balm.
"Don't leave."
"Klaus..."
"Please!"
"You need to let go of Five."
"No, don't you dare to make a demand like that," he sobbed, feeling David's fingers tighten on his shoulders. David pulled away forcefully.
"Klaus, it’s not a demand or my whim of any kind. It's for your own good. You've been suffocating in this cage for how long now? Ten years?"
"No, I just can't. Five, he's... He's just..."
David pursed his lips.
"Then tell him about it."
"Oh, here are they, professional tricks! "
Klaus didn't mean to snap. Or did he?
"It's just a suggestion, babe. But if you decide, I know someone who works in that field..."
"Think your science has all the answers?"
"My science can help you."
"But why not you?"
"How should I, Klaus? You want me to share you not even with the other guy but with ghosts of the past?"
"But I'm with you!" He stepped back nervously, naively thinking that distance would protect him from painful words. He clenched his fists. "I love you, you are the only one I sleep with, gosh, we practically live together!"
"And so I have to watch you torment yourself when Five is just nearby? Watch how you drive yourself to this state because of him, while I can't do a damn thing? Or should I be a cozy haven where you wait that shit out," he nodded at the magazine cover, "ready to run away at any sec whenever Five call? Which by the way he won’t."
Klaus stood there, arms wrapped around himself.
After breaking up with Five, he never let anyone dump him. If by any chance, relationships he was into started to go beyond fun and sex without obligations, Klaus always ended it first. But he didn't notice how a fleeting affair with David turned out to be a deep attachment, and Klaus never thought about to break up with him. Because, unlike the scraping pain memories of Five gave him, the mere thought of David turned into a smile and spread warmth under his skin. Klaus loved his jokes, his attention, and his gentle care. He loved it when David cooked for him, kissed his neck, massaged his shoulders after a hard day. Visited his concerts or listened attentively to him play at home. How he drove him to ecstasy and beyond every time they had sex and made Klaus forget everything on earth. He truly loved David and never tried to use him as a replacement for Five. That's why it hurt just as terrible as it did ten years ago.
But it was even worse to realize that he wasn't the only one suffering.
"So... it's over, Dave?"
"It's over."
When the front door closed, Klaus throw his head back, waiting for the nightmare to end any moment.
But he was still falling into blackness and couldn't wake up.