Chapter Text
(DISCLAIMER: I don’t know how to write anyone besides Peter and Monokuma. Please keep that in mind for OOC moments.)
6 people are teleported into a courtroom with a bear in it.
Muscular Man: What is this?!
Bottle: What? Where… Oh, COME ON-
Tall Woman: Oh dear… I’ve never seen this before.
Plant: (curious growl)
Fat Guy: Oh, man! This feels so familiar!
Girl: Hey, what’s going on? Are you guys my next opponents?
Bear: SsssssssssssSHUT UP!
The bear drop-kicks the bottle for no reason other than to be a dick.
Bottle: Ow.
Muscular Man: You there! You have trapped us here! I will shoot you!
Bear: Look over there! It’s the number four!
Muscular Man: AGH!
The buff dude faints.
Plant: You… friend?
Bear: I don’t have any friends. Only victims.
The bear leaps onto a podium.
Bear: I am MONOKUMA! Puhuhu! Introduce yourselves!
Bottle: …No.
Bear: Do it, or I END YOUR LIFE.
Muscular Man: Fine. I’m Guido Mista! I have a gun.
Girl: Nice to meetcha, Milna!
Mista: …It’s actually-
Fat Guy: Malta, right? Yeah, that’s what I heard.
Monokuma: MOVING ON!
Bottle: I’m Bryce Hansen, and I don’t wanna be here.
Monokuma: Come on, it’ll be fun! (cough cough) …For me and me alone. (cough cough)
Bryce: …Eat shi-
Tall Woman: Hello, I’m Rosalina. I travel a lot.
Fat Guy: Ooh! Have you gone to Vegas?
Rosalina: …No.
Fat Guy: L.
Plant: Me Wormwood… You all friends?
Monokuma: …I literally just said I’m not your friend-
Fat Guy: Me next! Me next! I’m Peter Griffin. I was on CDCAT!
Peter stares off into the distance.
Girl: …Weird. I’m Bridget, and I’m adorable.
Monokuma: You’re nothing compared to me, bucko!
Bridget: …No, that’s wrong.
Monokuma: ANYWAYS… Welcome to my game show! I’m your lovely host, and this is The Every Couple Minutes Or So-ly CECU Show!
Bryce: …Can I leave?
Peter: If he leaves, can I win?
Mista: Can I shoot a gun?
Wormwood: Can Wormwood ask something too?
Monokuma: Uggggghhhhhh, enough with the questions! Do I look like a bear who answers questions?
Peter: No, you just look ugly.
Bridget: LOL.
Monokuma: …You should kill each other. NOW.
Wormwood: Me no kill friends!
Monokuma: Welp, that’s the challenge now! Go!
Bryce: …Nuh-uh.
Monokuma: The fuck you mean “Nuh-uh”?! I said GO!
Rosalina: I hardly see the point of-
Rosalina gets shot by Mista.
Mista: For my neutral special. I WIELD A GUN.
Monokuma: …Wow, the author’s really butchering this guy.
Bridget: I don’t wanna kill anyone…
Bridget whips out the yo-yo.
Bridget: …But I’ll settle for knocking you out!
Peter: Sweet yo-yo. Gimme a turn?
Bridget: Sorry, nope!
Peter: …Oh, you son of a-
Peter gets into a giant chicken fight with Bridget.
Bryce: Ugh… This is INSANE!
Wormwood: Me no like where this heading…
Bryce: Neither do I, man. Neither do I.
Mista: Well this bullet’s about to be headed for your noggin!
Bryce: …Shit.
Mista gets bumped away by the Peter-Bridget fight.
Mista: Grrr!
Mista shoots. Bridget dodges.
Bridget: You missed. ;P
Peter: You missed-a!
Mista: Grrr times two!
Mista tries to shoot, but gets his gun knocked away.
Wormwood: Ooh! Boom boom stick! Boom boom stick!
Bryce picks it up.
Bryce: Man…
He looks up at Mista getting double-teamed by Peter and Bridget. Bryce slowly aims the gun.
Bryce: Come on… For once in my life…
Bryce shoots. He misses.
Wormwood: …Uh-oh.
The bullet ricochets around the room. The eyes of the 5 remaining follow it. Bryce quickly realizes what’s about to happen.
Bryce: …Oh, son of a-
Bryce gets shot by his own bullet.
Mista: HAH! You fool! …Wait, there’s FOUR people now! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Mista crumbles into nothing-ness.
Peter: …What were we fightin’ about, again?
Bridget: I dunno.
Wormwood: You fight Wormwood.
Bridget: Dawwwww! I don’t wanna hit you!
Peter: Eh, I would but I don’t care enough to hit ya.
Monokuma: Damn, only THREE people died? …Meh, good enough.
Monokuma shows portraits of the deceased.
Monokuma: Rosalina, Bryce, and Milta… Whatever that guy’s name was- They’re up to get shit-canned! Vote in the Discord server!