Work Text:
„You’d tell me if you were in love with me, right?“ Kon asked with a little sadness.
Tim first inhaled slowly then flatly informed a negative.
“What?” That was not the answer he expected.
Tim made a biggish sigh and kept looking at the broken teen’s body. “No, if I was in love with you, you’d never know.” The fall didn’t even kill him instantly. He could tell he suffered. ‘There are better ways to kill your self. More efficient.’ He immediately hated himself for the thought. The training was drilled in him, and it was hard to overcome. There were times he’d be disturbed quite earnestly by this scene.
Kon’s eyes grew big. “But… But just look at what happened to this kid! It… “ He lowered his head, “was completely avoidable.” He threw an accusing look at Red Robin’s cowl. “Wait, are you in love with me?” The revelation was startling him.
He heard a scoff, as Tim looked down and quickly turned to face him. It was too late for this kid; there wasn’t any additional case he could glean from this. Might as well not look at him anymore.
“It means that if I am in love with you, ever had a crush on you or ever will – you’ll never find out.” At the not entirely comprehending look he continued even more firmly. “Just like normalcy was important to this kid, I too would need you not to treat me any differently. I don’t believe you’d be capable of it. No.” He took a deep breath. “If you’d be able to pretend that nothing has changed in your mind, I’d resent it.” He was probably imagining it happening, as his look got nastier and inward. He seemed to snap out of it.
The Kon he befriended was an honest man. He really didn’t need him to learn to be a pretender. It’s easier to act around him if he could count on no additional motives. ‘That makes me sound selfish.’ He made more sad sighs. Kon felt like his heartstring was being pulled by each of them. “Just…” He realized he didn’t know what to say anymore. Which was frustrating because a moment ago he felt as if his next words will be as clear and informative as Kon would ever need them to be to understand.
This kid’s anguish over one-sided love was mostly self-inflicted and growing worse over the two years. He didn’t even bother asking if his best friend really felt no romantic bond towards him. He imagined that if he’d ever slip, his friend would explode in disgust and reject him so fast that the voice waves might as well take him over the railing themselves. Or, wherever he’d slip up. Maybe he felt the friend had suspicious already (finally), or whatever, but he decided that he couldn’t live on like this and just… Well, the body showed the outcome, on the pavement. No use to think about it anymore.
Perhaps he would have done this sooner, if he hadn’t confessed to their third friend. She was crying and trying again to get her version of the happenings to the police officer who was kind of comforting her, kind of taking her statement.
She really shouldn’t be that close to the body. Or… Perhaps he thought that she had let something slip and … did this sooner. Then it would be harder (longer) for Red Robin to check if this truly is a suicide case. (The body was probably still warm.)
“Let’s go.” He offered with a turn. He didn’t want to be noticed by the police personal who were documenting the scene.
“Robin!” Right, he was always a Robin to Kon.
He seemed unsure of what to say, but his tone was frustrated and demanding. Great, he just wanted to leave already.
“This kid… if he didn’t let it fester… Why would you let it fester?” Tim told himself that the angry tone was a defensive mechanism as a response to grief for a stranger and not a personal attack. It didn’t make him feel better. (Maybe.) “You… Ugh!” Kon threw his arms and stalked off.
Well… At least he could get a move on. Tim threw a last sigh over his shoulder as he looked on the shadow down the building and made good use of Gotham’s roof rope jumping skills.
Tim wouldn’t tell him.
(A frustrated sigh. Accelerated flying.)
He really, really wouldn’t tell him or slip up, ever. And he knew that Tim was just being honest. They had a fight about Tim’s lies and he was just being honest. Tim was trying to be honest, just like Kon demanded a while ago and he was…
(Deep breath.)
‘Okay, I can do this.’ What did he want to do? ‘I’ll just… I’ll find out for myself if he has feelings for me. Then – “ He looked upwards. “ – I will not let him be that kid on the pavement.” He looked around the tower to decide on the landing spot. “The bats are seriously repressed. He really wouldn’t need additional heart-ache.” Saying it out loud gave him strength.
“Why are you so obsessed with finding out if your friends have a crush on you?”
“I wouldn’t flash myself to you or do anything that would cause you…”
“So, you’d treat me differently.” Tim paused meaningfully. “Take away the normalcy.” Kon winced.