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“Pa, why do you always carry an umbrella?”
It was an innocent question from his youngest, but it still made him pause in his tracks. He couldn’t explain that getting caught in the rain again would make him start to break down, not to a seven year old. Vicky knew, she knew he ran away and got caught in the rain because she’s asked this before. He imagined Dee would be let in on it soon enough. Heavy wouldn’t know, not yet.
”Because his hair gets all fucked up when it’s wet,” Glam’s wife chimed in, answering for him. It wasn’t entirely incorrect, she’d seen how much time he spends drying his hair after a shower so it didn’t look super flat, but she sent a glance to him that showed she understood. She wouldn’t tell him before he thought his children were ready to listen. “Your dad looks like a kitten left out in a storm with his hair down.
Both of his children laughed at that, Vicky joining in too. He also did, quietly and mildly forced. He didn’t take offense to the comment, but it was the same thing Ches had called him when he turned up at his trailer back then.
”Yes, I do prefer to keep my hair and makeup out of the rain,” He added simply, silently thanking Vicky for not telling the whole story.
”Why don’t we have umbrellas then?” Dee asked, ever the observer.
”Because none of you style your hair like mine, or wear makeup,” Glam replied, knowing that everyone had their own umbrellas at home for when it was raining when they were planning to leave.
”You don’t let me touch your makeup,” Dee huffed. He had shown clear interest in the wide array of makeup his father kept, but sneaking into his room and experimenting with his well kept and decently expensive sets wasn’t the right way to get what he wanted.
”You can’t use my makeup, but I can get you your own sometime.”
Dee gaped at him for a second. “Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?!” He demanded, pointing an accusatory finger at him.
“You never asked.”
“Dad, it’s the middle of summer. How do you stand wearing your wrist bands all the time?” Dee asked, having just removed his to run water on the very sweaty area. The black of the arm bands always made them hotter than the rest of his arms and it was extremely uncomfortable.
It was a few beats before Glam managed to think of something to reply with. “I’ve been wearing these longer than you’ve been alive, Dee. It feels weird to not wear them, even if they get hot sometimes.”
It seems like every question that his children or wife asked that had an answer he wasn’t ready to share, he gave a half-lie. He rarely outright lies to his family and has never kept a lie, always telling them the truth later in life. He still planned on telling his family the entire truth rather than just snippets he’s told to Vicky, but it wasn’t the right time yet.
“Do you ever take them off?”
He thought for a minute. “I don’t wear them to shower and replace them with ones without spikes to sleep, otherwise, nope!”
Dee looked at him oddly. “Even with long sleeves? That sounds stupid.”
Glam laughed slightly. “Yes, even with long sleeves, those are a different pair without spikes,” he explained. Before having the non-spiked wristbands, he’d just live with the sleeves looking very weird because of them.
“Why?”
”As I said, it feels more weird to not wear them, even if it might seem redundant to you.”
Dee looked like he didn’t like that explanation, but he dropped it. Glam needed another year, at least, before he told him the full truth.
”Wait, since when did you have a violin?!” Heavy exclaimed, noticing the case hidden behind his desk in his office. He was in there for some help on a recent assignment and while his dad read it over, he looked around.
”Almost my entire life,” he answered subconsciously, not paying any mind to the very confused expressions flying across his son's face.
”How come I’ve never seen you play it?!” He demanded, very confused, how his dad, who would always play his guitar when they were younger and at their request, never bothered to show them his musical talent with a different instrument.
”It’s been years since I’ve played it Heavy, I just never bothered to get rid of it,” Glam replied, pushing the paper across the desk and starting to explain how Heavy could improve the assignment and hit the teacher's desired word count.
When he finished, Heavy noted down the final thing he said before putting the paper back in his backpack for later.
“Can you still play the violin?” He asked before leaving. If he didn’t touch something for years he imagined he wouldn’t remember how to do it.
His father chuckled. “Of course I can Heavy, would you like to hear a song?”
“YES!” He yelled, very excited. “Sorry, yes,” he corrected before Glam could ask him to ask again in a quieter voice.
Glam gently placed the case holding the instrument he had feared his entire life, that hung over him like a curse, opening it as carefully as possible. He hated the origins of why he played the violin, but it never felt right to hate the instrument itself.
After dusting it off a bit, he ran the bow across the strings individually to make sure it was tuned. A few adjustments were made before he got into position and started playing.
It was very different to the metal music he had always played for his children, or the lullabies he’d do when he wanted them to finally fall asleep. He imagined Heavy wasn’t the biggest fan of classical music, but his muscle memory worked before he could think of a song his kid would recognize.
Beautiful notes filled his small office, far more gentle than the very loud guitar he’d practice sometime when Ches would visit. It was a short song, a main reason he remembered it. Most of the songs he learned before meeting Ches were long forgotten if he didn’t listen to them again, but this one was different. It was the only song he had gotten perfect the first time. He would get it perfect for someone who would actually appreciate it now.
Heavy watched very intently, incredibly mesmerized by the piece. When it came to a close, his clapping was louder than the music itself.
”That was incredible! I didn’t know you could play like that!” He half-yelled, being more mindful of his volume now.
“It’s been a very long time since I’ve played like that, but if you’d like to hear more I’d be willing to play some more another time,” Glam replied, settling his violin and bow back into its case before making sure Heavy had everything he needed to continue his work. It was clear that he wasn’t focused on that currently, probably wouldn’t be until it was the last minute, but he left without a fight.
Dee was coming home late, though it wasn’t at an obscene time, for awhile now. He had told both him and Vicky that this would be happening, but gave no explanation as to why. After a week, he came home later than he said he would.
”Dee, food is on the table for you. I would like to talk after you're done eating, please,” Glam called from the kitchen after he heard the door open. He appeared a moment later, starting to pick at his slightly cold food. It was prepared for when he usually came home, but had been sitting there for a fair few minutes now.
After he finished eating, slower than usual, Glam sat down across from him in Vicky’s usual spot.
“You came home later than you said you would today,” Glam opened with. It wasn’t a question, he didn’t want one of Dee’s excuses as to why or for his son to feel like he was being pressured into telling him exactly what was happening, but he wanted to make it known he didn’t approve.
”Yeah, I-“
”I don’t need an explanation right now Dee,” He continued, interrupting his son. It was clear Dee wasn’t a fan of that but he kept his mouth shut. “I trust you to make good decisions and you’ve never come home in a state that I’d worry about, but I also do trust you to stick to your word.”
“I know, father-“ Dee started, sarcasm lacing his tone in the last word. Glam's smile dropped and he immediately stopped talking, noticing the very sudden and odd change. It was quickly replaced, though more strained now.
”Please don’t call me that Dee,” he requested firmly, making it clear that it was more of a demand even if it wasn’t one he’d necessarily get in trouble for.
“Why not? It’s just another word for dad,” Dee asked, delving into some of the curiosity he’s always held onto about Glam.
”I don’t enjoy it,” He said plainly. “I know it may be weird to you, Dee and there is an explanation, but it will come with time,” he’s told his son this a few times now, but this was the last time he was planning to. “Now, I want you home earlier just for tomorrow to make up for lost time today, and then you can continue your routine.”
”Alright, dad.”
It was a day as normal as any other for their family as a whole, but today was the day Glam had shut himself away from everything. He said he required one ‘alone day’ for his own sanity and chose this day at random.
The day very much was not random, though it tended to vary each year. He often chose the day he ran away, but sometimes it would be when he chose the violin or the day of the entrance exam. It depended on what was best for the family a lot of the time, but sometimes he was a bit more selfish about it and chose the day he ran no matter what.
This year was one of those. There wasn’t anything urgent to do today, but Dee had plans today and asked him to drive, hating how Vicky drove. Glam had to force him to suffer through her dangerous driving for the day.
He usually just sat in his and Vicky’s room for the day, her respecting that he needed the room for the day. He would sometimes look through old photo books, have very long talks with Ches on whether or not he’s made the right decision with his life, write down things he was aiming to fix, watch things he always wanted to but the tv was constantly in use by one person or another. It was therapeutic, something he sorely needed even if he may have rejected going to therapy a few times.
There wasn’t a year where he didn’t cry that day, but in the recent years it was always tears of joy as he looked through everything his kids and wife shared with him, every moment he captured with them, even if it was just in his diaries (or journals, as he used to insist people called them) he never stopped writing in. Old habits die hard.
When it was getting to bedtime, he cleared everything that was scattered around the room from him and unlocked the door for Vicky. She returned to the room quickly after, starting her short nighttime routine.
”Hey Glam, how come you usually choose today as your ‘free day’?” She asked, just finishing brushing her teeth.
“I’ll tell you when we talk to the kids,” he replied, also settling down for bed by taking off all his jewelry. He hadn’t worn his spiked wristbands, opting for the plain pink ones to be more comfortable, so there was no need to replace them today. He could probably just tell her now, she already knew he ran away, but it would feel better to have everything he wanted to explain in one place.
”Alright, but I’m holding you to that,” she threatened, settling down beside him in bed.
”Of course Vicky. I’ll explain everything then, I owe all of you that.”
She looked like she wanted to say something, that much was clear even in the dark room, but she dropped it. She also wanted to tell the kids about her past eventually, even if she wasn’t ready quite as soon as he was.
It was the day.
It hadn’t been marked on the calendar or anything, nobody really knew when he planned to do this, but he decided it was today on a wim. A nice sunny Saturday, right after lunch and a couple hours after Chive had practically broken into their home.
After cleaning the table, getting help with the dishes from Ches despite the man’s reluctance, he called everyone back to the table at Ches’ suggestion that he just do it now rather than stew in his anxiety’s all day.
Heavy quickly started asking what dessert was, while Dee seemed less than interested, continuing to tap away at his phone. Vicky caught on quickly, quickly telling Heavy there wasn’t a dessert and for Dee to put his phone away. She moved from her regular spot over to sit next to Heavy as well, forcing Dee a seat over much to his annoyance. Glam sat across from the three of them, his smile trying very hard not to falter. Ches sat right beside him. He loved Vicky, but for this, Ches was his rock.
“I think it’s about time I answer all of your guys' questions.”
His smile was gone at this point, there wasn’t a reason to keep the mask up right now. He would do his best to let his walls down.
”Why did you… run away back then?” Vicky asked first, making sure to start the tone of the questionnaire so the kids weren’t just asking random questions.
”Gustav, my father, found everything,” he knew they wouldn’t understand what that meant, but it was exactly what he told Ches the day he escaped. “I grew up as Sebastian Shvagenbagen, heir to the metaphorical musical throne that name carried. Gustav expected a lot of me. Too much,” Ches lightly squeezed his hand. He didn’t know when they even started holding hands but he needed that. “So I hid things from him. My diary, my model, box 37. I hid the band, I hid ever being friends with Ches. I’d come back after our first concert, being able to go after my sister, Lydia, lied that there was a mandatory meeting at the conservatory I was attending. I was going to get away with it, but he found everything. He gave me a choice, to stay at the mansion, or to choose the rebel. I lived with Ches after that. I usually take my break on the day I ran away, to remember everything that’s happened instead of just trying to forget it.”
It was silent for a while after. Nobody knew what to say, but Ches was lightly encouraging him silently, whether that be with hand gestures or lightly stroking his back rhythmically to calm down his emotions like he usually did. Eventually, Dee asked another question.
”Is that why guitar lessons-“
”Yes, Dee,” He answered immediately. “I acted like him that day and I still regret that, I do hope you’ve forgiven me by now but I will not expect that of you.”
He nodded silently but didn’t answer if he did forgive him entirely or not.
”Will we ever meet your family?” Heavy asked, unusually quietly for him.
”Gustav is dead, I know nothing of what happened to my mother, but I would like you guys to meet her one day if she hasn’t joined him. I don’t hold resentment for her, not anymore. Vicky has met Lydia,” her face turned sour at the memory of his sister. “She is free to visit if she wants to.”
”Glam, how long was he using a ruler against you?”
It was the only question Ches wanted to ask. He knew most of the story, but he never knew how long it had been happening. The rest of them looked confused at the question, so he decided to explain everything about the ruler after answering his question.
”It was whenever I played violin incorrectly, which I started at age five,” Ches tried not to look infuriated at the answer, encouraging him to go on. “Dee, you asked me why I wear my wrist bands and I was not completely honest with you,” he admitted, rubbing at one of them on instinct. “I wear them to hide the scars. He would hit my wrist with a ruler, there’s scarring I didn’t want you all to be subjected to and wasn’t ready to explain to you yet.”
Vicky looked like she wanted to kill a dead man, Dee looked more disturbed than he had in years and Heavy looked downright terrified. Ches kept his emotions steeled and lightly comforted Glam, who was struggling to not zone out to avoid all the swirling emotions.
“Do…are you okay with showing us?” Dee asked, more anxious than he’s seen him in years.
He sucked in a deep breath before nodding, rolling up his sleeves and removing the wrist bands. He removed the one with no scars first before doing the second, not explicitly showing them the scars that were covering his skin but leaving it visible to all of them.
Heavy turned away immediately after seeing them, Vicky immediately comforting him afterward to make sure the teen was okay. Dee stared at them blankly. Ches was trying incredibly hard to keep everything in check but it was clear he was not happy with Gustav.
Glam quickly returned the wrist bands to their placement, telling Heavy and Vicky when he did so.
”Are you okay?”
Heavy looked on the verge of tears. He had always been an emotional kid but it was showing now more than ever.
”I am. I have you guys, and I’ve had the time I need. I’ve fallen back into some… bad habits sometimes, but I know you guys will be there at the end of it,” he felt a tear or two fall, but he didn’t pay them much mind. His smile returned, more genuine than it usually was.
Heavy practically threw himself across the table to give his dad a hug, Vicky and Dee also practically rushed to his side even if they weren’t usually the most touchy type. Ches didn’t leave his side, he never did.
”One more question?” Vicky asked, somewhat whispering to him, barely loud enough for only him and Ches to hear. He nodded. “Is it possible to kill a ghost?”
”I fucking hope so,” Ches replied, matching her whispering.
Glam couldn’t help but laugh.