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“Hey, babe?”
Killua’s head jumps up. He blinks blue eyes at Gon, confusion clouding them over. “What did you just call me?”
“I called you ‘babe’,” Gon repeats, amused at the way Killua physically recoils. “What? You don’t like it?”
Killua glowers at him. “No. It’s weird.”
“Is it? A lot of couples have nicknames for each other. And we’re married, so if anything we should have come up with nicknames a long time ago.”
“Since when do you care what everyone else is doing?”
“I don’t. But I thought it might be fun to try it. If you don’t like ‘babe’, I could call you ‘darling’, instead. Or ‘baby’. Or— AH!” He gasps. “Killua! Stop!”
He scrambles as far away from Killua’s icy toes as their couch allows. Which, unfortunately, is not very far at all. Killua’s smile is smug and sharp, the kind that makes Gon want to go climb back over and kiss it off his stupidly cute face.
“You were being annoying,” Killua says. “Am I not allowed to annoy you back?”
“You were being mean,” Gon retorts. He folds his arms with a huff. “I wasn’t even doing anything bad! Calling you terms of endearment doesn’t mean you can be cruel to me all of a sudden.”
Killua flushes. “That’s—That's exactly why I had to stop you! You would go on forever if I didn’t cut you off!”
Gon doesn’t exactly get why that would be a problem. Saying nice things about his husband is a specialty of his, one he doesn’t plan on stopping anytime soon. Especially when complimenting Killua makes him turn such a pretty shade of pink. Killua’s flustered reactions prove that Gon is important to Killua.
Maybe it’s a bit selfish of Gon to think of compliments that way, but he’s always been selfish at heart and Killua is his heart. It makes sense he’d be selfish about the person he intends to spend the rest of his life with.
“You still could have just asked me to stop like a normal person,” Gon whines.
“I literally said I didn’t like it, you were the one carrying on and on.”
“Just because you didn’t like being called ‘babe’ doesn’t mean you might not like being called other things! Why not try it out?”
Killua purses his lips. He’s lovely like this, sitting cross-legged on the opposite end of the couch and wearing a loose t-shirt shirt and Gon’s old sweatpants. His silver hair is lit up in a halo under the afternoon sun streaming in from the window. Even the sharpness of his eyes seem softer in the comfort of their living room. Gon relishes getting to see this relaxed, domestic version of Killua. It’s a version of him that only Gon has the privilege of seeing.
“Please , Killua? Can’t we just test out a few nicknames? For me?”
He widens his eyes, making them big and pleading. Killua’s scowl crumbles like wet paper.
“Fine. But if you get to try it, then so do I.”
Gon raises his eyebrows. Oh? Killua wants to give him pet names? The same Killua who turns bright red at the slightest kind comment?
This will be interesting.
“Sure,” Gon agrees easily, trying to keep his eagerness out of his voice. “You can go first. What pet names would you call me?”
Killua’s blush grows darker. “N-Never mind. This was a mistake—”
“No take backs!” Gon scoots back across the couch and towards the nook that Killua is currently curling into. “C’mon, Ki-llu-a! Tell me!”
“No way, I don’t—I’ve never even thought of any nicknames for you!” He tries shoving Gon away but Gon just catches his hands and holds on tight. “It would be weird to call you something like, like honey or sweetheart. You don’t even like sweets!”
Gon throws his head back in a laugh. He laughs long and hard, until he’s leaning into Killua and gasping for air. He can’t pinpoint exactly what Killua said that was so funny, but he does know that only Killua would take nicknames so seriously.
“They’re not—not supposed to be literal, silly.” He lifts his head and his heart stutters at the fondness in Killua’s gaze.
“I know that. But I don’t want to call you something that doesn’t fit you. I might as well just call you by your name, then.”
“Oh.” That…makes sense. But— “Well, I wouldn’t call you something that didn’t fit you, either.”
“And you thought the best option to start off with was babe?”
Gon smiles sheepishly. “I just wanted to try it out.”
“Uh-huh. And now that you have, what do you think?”
“I don’t like it. Killua’s not a baby, after all.”
Killua snorts. ”Once upon a time you called me an electric eel, but I’m not that, either.”
Gon’s face warms at the reminder of the childish comment. It had been a silly comparison even then in Greed Island and it most definitely didn’t fit the fully grown adult Killua who was currently lounging in their shared apartment.
He could have never imagined this future back then. When he met Killua, his only focus was getting stronger and meeting Ging. Now, over a decade older and having seen more horrors than is healthy to dwell upon, he‘s learned that staying with Killua is a much more worthy goal.
Gon squeezes Killua’s cool hands. “That wasn’t a term of endearment, though,” he points out. “So it doesn’t count.”
“Alright, then.” Killua shuffles on the couch to face Gon, causing the cushion to dip with his movements. “What does count, wise guy? If you want to be serious about this, come up with a serious suggestion.”
Gon purses his lips. It’s hard to think of something to encompass what Killua is to him—his first and best friend, his savior, his true love, his only partner and equal in life. Killua is the hand that steadies him when he loses himself to the thrill of life or the depths of his emotions. Killua is the standard Gon sets for himself to become better, stronger and kinder. Killua is so deeply engraved in every part of who he is. What single word could convey all of that?
“See?” Killua says with an air of triumph. “It’s not that easy, is it?”
“Well, it’s like you said. There are lots of things I could use, but none of them fit right.” Gon lowers his gaze, rubbing his thumbs over Killua’s knuckles. “I could call you ‘my life’, because it’s true, but I think you would combust if I called you that in public. I could call you ‘love’, but that sounds too serious. I could call you ‘dear’, because you’re dear to me, but that’s not serious enough. So, it’s kind of complicated. You know?”
Killua doesn’t respond. Gon lifts his head to find Killua gaping at him, his usually pale cheeks scarlet and his blue eyes large.
Uh, oh. Gon’s stomach gives a sickening lurch. Did he break Killua?
“Um. Killua? Are you okay?”
“Y-You…” Killua exhales shakily. “You really are too much sometimes, you know?”
Gon does know. But— “In a bad way?” he asks with an exaggerated pout.
Killua sputters indignantly. “In—In a good way, obviously!”
“Oh.” Gon brightens. “That’s good. I don’t mind being too much as long as you know how much I care about you.”
“I do know,” Killua mutters, to Gon’s delight. “But that’s why you get my point, right? All the pet names are either too dumb or too impersonal. There’s no in between. So, why bother? Technically you already have a nickname for me.”
Gon blinks. That’s new to him. “Do I?”
“Mhm. It’s the way you say my name sometimes. Kee-loo-ah.”
A wide smile spreads across Gon’s face. “Oh, yeah! I never thought of it that way!”
“Mhm, so, let’s just…not bother with the whole pet name thing. Okay?”
“That’s fine with me. I like the way you say my name best, anyway.”
Killua squints at him suspiciously. “Why's that?”
“No one else says it like you do.”
“And how do I say it?”
“All sorts of ways. But mostly you say it like…like I’m yours.” Gon beams, a giddy joy surging through him at the mere thought. “Like you love me no matter how silly or annoying I am. Like you love me unconditionally.”
Killua scrunches his nose, blinking rapidly. “Jeez. What is with you today and waxing poetry all over the place?”
Gon laughs, throwing his arms around Killua and pulling him into his lap. “I guess I’m just being sentimental.”
“And sappy,” Killua grumbles even as he immediately returns Gon’s embrace. It amazes Gon how many years he went without getting daily hugs from Killua. If he had to do that again today, he simply wouldn’t survive.
“I’m sappy because I’m happy. I’m happy when I’m with you, Killua. The happiest, really.”
Killua sighs. The sound is content and fond. “Me, too.” He pauses, then adds, “Gon.”
“Yeah?”
“Nothing. I just wanted to say your name.”
Gon grins, hearing the unspoken message because he knows Killua better than he knows himself, and holds him tighter.
“I love you, too. Ki-llu-a.”