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Nothing will ever be the same now. Jaiden knows that as fact.
Despite her best wishes, she’ll never look at Jacob the same — she’ll never stop shaking, she’ll never stop having nightmares, she’ll never be able to hold a knife the same way she used to, she’ll never stop seeing her death when she closes her eyes.
Hell, she’ll never even be able to walk through a hallway without the lingering paranoia she swears had never crossed her mind before.
But, as she’s gathering her old, plucked feathers off the floor, something she’s been avoiding for a couple days now — she thinks that, maybe, it’s okay.
Things won’t be the same. But that doesn’t mean that everything is bad now. Jacob… Jacob may have killed her, but they still cares They care, and she picks up one of her feathers from the floor and stares at it and remembers.
“Your, uh… your wings kind of look like shit,” they say. Oh. “Have you been preening?”
She looks at her wings, falling silent for a moment. Her mind is brought back to the bloody fingers, clumps of feathers on the floor, the numbness diluting the sharp pains she’d usually experience from plucking her own feathers — and she shakes her head, an attempt to bring herself back down to earth.
“…Not really, no,” she murmurs, “I’ve… tried. If that says anything.”
She’s briefly worried that they finds her gross, or something— that they’d take one more look at her, see her red-rimmed eyes, her stained clothes, the bald patches in her wings, her messy hair, her everything, and decide she’s not worthy anymore. Decide she’s too dirty, too useless, too— too much of an inconvenience.
But… they don’t. Instead, they say,
“…Okay. Can I help?”
“…That would be really, um— really nice, actually,” Jaiden finds herself smiling. There’s something in her that’s hesitating, something in her whispering about a knife to her back, about— about— She shakes it off.
Jacob smiles. “Turn around?”
It’s never going to be the same and there is nothing that she can do to fix it.
But maybe she doesn’t need to fix it. Maybe, Jaiden thinks, she can just… keep going.
There is nothing she can fix, undo, or change. But even in spite of the bad things that have happened, she’s still surrounded by people who love her — in fact, she’s surrounded by more people that love her than she ever was before. And maybe she’ll never really be safe again, maybe she’ll never be able to look Jacob in the eyes again, but… at least they love her.
“Hey, look at me?”
Jaiden turns, looking up at them anxiously. “…Yeah?”
“I love you, you know that?” Jacob leans forward, planting a kiss on her forehead — she melts. “Even if things get tough. I’ll be here.”
Jaiden doesn't even care that they haven't quite finished preening her. She turns herself around completely, throwing herself as close to them as physically possible.
“I love you too.” She mumbles, weeping a little.
They seem— startled, for a second. But soon, their arms wrap around her, and they just… hold her.
Love is a strong thing.
For Jaiden, especially. It bubbles up in her chest, climbs up her throat — it suffocates her. It’s a feeling she’s not sure she could ever put into words.
Sometimes, she thinks it could be described as religious.
It’s almost like a worship. Not that she would ever make that comparison out loud — god only knows the amount of comments people would make about that being “unhealthy” — but it’s so strong, sometimes it leaves her with no room to breathe. Sometimes, it takes everything out of her, and all that’s left is the swirling in her stomach, the tears in her eyes, her hands clasped together as she holds them close to her chest.
Jaiden’s not sure it could ever be reciprocated. She’s not sure anyone would be capable of feeling that for her — much less want to. Especially not, say, Jacob. They’re an angel, after all — even if they weren’t born one — and what kind of angel would choose her?
But sometimes, they say it. Sometimes, they say, “I love you,” and they say it so easy, like it’s breathing. And maybe it’s not in the same way as she loves them, but it’s enough. It’s more than enough.
It envelops her. It’s all-encompassing, it’s overwhelming, the feeling it gives her.
And in the times when she needs it most, it’s rejuvenating.
A kiss on her forehead. It’s like a blessing — she knows they’re not exactly partial to touch. She never expects them to give it out so freely, and they almost never do, but— but they did just last night. For her.
And nothing’s perfect, but everything’s better.
Jaiden’s spent the past couple hours tidying up her room, and as she picks up the last few feathers from her floor, it’s finally back to normal.
Well… almost.
She still hasn’t touched her wall, where all those tear-stained papers are strung together in some fucked up collage of shitty coping.
She’s not really sure what to do with it. Any normal person might just throw it out, but…
Well, does it really deserve that? The execution might not have been good, but the idea, the concept— it really isn’t that bad.
Having a wall of reminders that her friends care about her actually sounds pretty nice, she thinks. She just has to… rework it a little. And maybe make it a little less Jacob-centric.
So she grabs a half-used sketchbook off her shelf — one of many — and gets to work. They’re only quick scribbles right now, some half-assed thumbnails, but she’ll get back and clean them up one-by-one later.
She’ll make a collage of the good, she decides. She’ll compile as many happy memories as she can, string them up that way — maybe she can even write down words and phrases her friends have said to her that have made her particularly happy.
But for now, she just sticks with drawing. She sketches up a number of scenes—
- Her and Jacob hanging out in the kitchen after the House had first come alive. Everything was confusing and stressful, but at least they had each other:
“I love having our friends over, but surprise visits like this, and the whole house just dissolving into chaos…” she trails off again, shrugging.
“You’re telling me,” they say, “You sure seem to be handling it well.”
She just laughs, dry, sarcastic. “Trust me, I’m not. It’s just easier for everyone else if I pretend I am.”
They don’t say anything, instead opting to glance away from her. A twinge of shame curls in her — maybe she shouldn’t have said that.
“You, um… You doing okay with all this?” she asks awkwardly, looking away as well. “I mean, I know you’re not, but… I dunno. I’m worried.”
“I’m definitely not going to say I’m having fun,” they shrug, “But it… it definitely could be worse.”
Jaiden nods. “Well, if there’s anything I can do to make it any easier, just let me know,” she says, looking back up at them again. “I care about you, y’know.”
“Yeah, I know,” they say, locking eyes with her. “I care about you, too.”
They give her a little grin — and she grins back, letting out a happy chirp.
- Her, Jacob, and Dash all lying in the grass together. It was right after the mimic, and everything felt horrible, but they had survived:
Jaiden’s words get a little caught in her throat. She looks away, for a second— no. She forces herself to look back. She can’t be scared of them. She can’t. “…Mind if I lay next to you?”
“Go for it,” Jacob says, attempting to move their wing out of the way — it hardly budges, with how much the feathers are soaked through. They barely seem bothered by what just happened. She doesn’t get it.
But… she smiles — though it’s weak — and moves to get closer to them. She tries her best not to lay on their wing, and that makes it a bit of a struggle to find the right spot, but eventually, she figures it out. She tucks her body close to their side, resting her head on their shoulder.
“This okay?” she murmurs, looking up at them.
“Yeah, that works.”
“Aww, are we having a cuddle pile?” Dash calls from the bushes, moving to flop down next to them. He doesn’t actually touch either of them — there’s far too much wing in the way for that — but he makes an effort to join anyway.
She giggles softly, appreciative. “Yeah. I think it’s what we deserve after… all that.”
Even just the slightly closer proximity is enough to soothe her, at least a little. It doesn't fix everything, but at least they're all okay now, and this affirms it.
- Dash dragging her, Fyrus, and Void to 7/11. Her whole world had been turned upside-down, and she didn’t know what to do, but somehow Dash knew just the right thing to help her feel better:
Eventually, they arrive, and Jaiden neatly parks the car outside of 7/11.
“HERE WE ARE!” Dash announces, being the first one to get out of the Miku Car. Everyone else follows quickly behind him. “Okay, so, we’re gonna go in, and you’re all gonna get slushy cups, and you’re gonna try this thing called…” he pauses and holds his hands up, doing the Spongebob ‘Imagination’ hand movement thing. “…THE FLAVOR. And it will be life-changing.”
“Life-changing, alright…” Jaiden glances back and forth between Dash and Miku Car. “Will it be more life-changing than Miku Car? ‘Cause I’m not sure that’s possible.”
“I’m not sure anything at 7/11 is deserving of ‘life-changing.’” says Void as he gets out, stretching a bit.
“Ye of little faith.” Dash shakes his head. “You just don’t get it.”
- Her, Jacob, and Dash all together on the couch, talking about anything but the show playing quietly on the TV. Getting the chance to relearn closeness, to feel normal again:
They’re so… Everything looks so easy for them. They touch each other’s shoulders, they lean against one another, they laugh, they poke fun, they— they love each other.
Jaiden has to— has to fight back against the urge to frown, instead forcing out an awkward laugh. She shifts her gaze back to the TV, attempting to just ignore it all.
But— before she can really even try, Dash is motioning for her to join them. “C’mon, Jaiden, you’re our friend too! Come join the couch gang!”
She feels a little… shocked, for a second, but she shakes herself. It’s… Jacob’s right there. Jacob’s right there, and they’re… her friend, and everything’s fine. Hell, Dash is even inbetween them. It’s fine.
Hesitantly, Jaiden obliges, getting down from her perch on the arm of the couch. She leans in just a little— only for Dash to wrap his arms around her, pulling her in all the way. A surprised chirp escapes her at the action, but she lets it happen.
“Soooo, how are you doing?” Dash starts — it seems the Jeopardy watching has fallen to the wayside. “I know that 7/11 trip got a little crazy there at the end, but it was still pretty awesome, I think.”
“Oh, yeah. I heard you got teleported?” Jacob says, their statement a question in of itself. Jaiden nods, trying to think back to what all happened.
“Uh, yeah. The Flavor, um— it didn’t do as much for me as I’d hoped,” she says, gesturing vaguely. “Teleported me once, and didn’t do anything for me after that. Kinda boring, honestly. A little overhyped.”
Dash leans his head back to look at Jacob. “She thinks the FLAVOR is overhyped. Can you— can you believe this?”
- And, finally, sitting on the couch as Jacob preened her wings, a warm, wet washcloth wiping through her feathers. His hands, gentle, meticulous, knowing all the right things to do to help her feel good again:
They’re incredibly careful and gentle with it, meticulously straightening out any odd feathers or knocking any loose ones free, and occasionally using the washcloth to clean anything out of place.
As their fingers work through her feathers, Jaiden can feel herself letting go— she’s done this plenty of times by herself to know the feeling, but… it’s different when someone else does it. It’s different when Jacob does it. It’s… nice.
A few involuntary chirps slip from her lips, especially as they get to the worst parts — the parts she couldn’t quite reach on her own. The parts they always preen for her.
They’ve preened her wings for her a million times, as she’s done for them, but it still manages to bring tears to her eyes. Any anxieties she might’ve still been holding onto about being around Jacob slip away so easily, soothed by the gentle preening.
Instead, it’s replaced with utter relief. She loves them so much. And it’s hard. And everything’s scary.
But Jacob still cares.
…Eventually, Jaiden steps back, admiring her new collage.
There’s plenty of room for more, better memories. She might even add some from before, but… maybe not. Maybe it’s nice to just include memories from now.
She sits back on her bed with a sigh.
Everything is okay, she tells herself.
And for once, she believes it.
…Jaiden’s not sure she wants to be in her room for too much longer, now that she thinks about it. She’s spent a long few days surrounded by these same walls, and it’s not that she doesn’t like her room anymore, she’s just… She doesn’t want to think about the stuff that made her feel so bad anymore. She doesn’t want to stay trapped in the cycle.
So maybe… maybe it’s time to break it.
Her stomach seems to agree— a loud grumble reminding her, oh, yeah, it’s been a couple hours since she’s eaten. She’d rather not pass out today— that would cause a little too much concern, and she’s already messed with her friends’ emotions enough lately. She doesn’t need to make it any worse.
She heads down to the kitchen, slipping through the living room on her way — there’s some movement outside the window that catches her eye. Is someone in the backyard?
She’ll check it out after she eats, she decides.
Jaiden doesn’t exactly have a lot of energy, let alone skill for cooking. It’s not something she’s ever really cared to pick up, though maybe she should, with how many people live here, now. They can’t all live off bags of chips and granola bars — not that those are the only things any of them have eaten, but…
Nevermind that. She roots through the fridge for a minute, before discovering a half-empty package of strawberries— perfect! She loves strawberries!
She grabs a handful and tosses them in a bowl. She doesn’t care to do too much preparation beyond washing them — usually, she might cut the stems off, but she decides against it this time around. She’ll just eat around them — not because the stems are bad for her, but they just don’t taste the best, in her humble opinion.
Besides, cutting the stems off would involve the use of a knife, and…
And again, she looks back just in time to see Jacob, holding their knife again — at some point, they must’ve pulled it out when she wasn’t looking. It reflects the light the same way, if only with some sludge staining the end of it.
They slash her. It.
The knife cuts cleanly, completely slicing it in half.
…Yeah, maybe knives aren’t a good thing to think about right about now.
Strawberries are strange to her. They’re great — one of her favorite fruits, even — but the flavor always throws her off a little. She should expect the sour tang by now, but it always surprises her.
The sweetness is always enough to win her over, though, and today is no different. Her bowl is empty within minutes, and Jaiden realizes she’s still hungry once she’s finished, but… she’ll always be hungry, really, and she’s not exactly in the mood to care about that right now. She’s eaten enough to keep herself going, at least — she’ll worry about it more later.
As she steps out of the kitchen, with some intent to put a show on the TV to at least fill the silence, she remembers that there was something going on in the backyard. She’d only caught a glimpse of it, but she’s plenty curious, now. As far as she knows, no one’s been out there since, uh… that day.
Jaiden makes her way to the back door, glancing out the window as she does— oh! Jacob and Dash are out there! She can’t quite make out what they’re doing, but it makes her all the more eager to go check it out.
“Oh, that’s fucking awesome!” she hears Jacob say, grinning.
“Yeah!!! Hold on, my turn!” Dash says, reaching down and grabbing something, — as Jaiden gets closer, the colorful shapes she’d been squinting at turn out to be a chain of flowers — wrapping it around his horns. “Does it look good? What do you think?”
“That looks so cute, actually,” Jacob replies.
“Thank you, it’s very wholesome.”
Jaiden finally reaches where they are in the grass, and smiles down at the two of them. “What’re you two doing out here?”
“OH, JAIDEN!” Dash exclaims, excited.
Jacob turns to look at her, beaming. “Jaiden! Look!” they say, pointing up at their halo. She gasps in awe.
Blue and yellow flowers are woven around the spikes, making them look somewhat akin to fairy lights, softly glowing between petals. She’s not super sure what flowers make up their crown, but she thinks she can make out some dandelions and cornflowers. Pretty!
“Jacob taught me about, uh, pruning—? No, preening earlier, so I’m teaching them how to make flower crowns!” Dash explains, gesturing to the leftover flowers strewn about between them, “Law of equivalent exchange, and all.”
“Oh my god, that’s so pretty,” Jaiden giggles in excitement, moving to sit beside them. She’s careful not to sit on any of the flowers left in the grass. “Why haven’t we thought about decorating your flower crown before? That’s so cool.”
“Isn’t it cool? They’ve got a floating flower crown!!” Dash grins at her, “Do— do you wanna make one, too?”
She perks up. “I-I think, uh—“ she stutters a little, excitement making her thoughts move a little too fast to keep up with, “That would be really cool, yeah!”
“Do you have any colors in mind?” he asks, immediately shuffling a little closer to her, “I mean, purple I’m assuming.”
“Always purple,” she nods, “Maybe, uh… hmm…”
She tilts her head back to think, but, well— she doesn’t really know flowers. She knows a couple — her favorite is lavender — but it’s not really enough to come up with her own individualized flower crown.
“…How about you surprise me?” she asks, after a moment, “Give me some of your favorite flowers, even?”
“Oh, my favorites?” Dash seems a little taken aback, but he goes along with it, smiling. “Huh, okay, lemme think…”
Jaiden really likes this idea, she thinks. The flower crown would be special regardless of what it included, just by the fact that she’d made it with her friends — but it’d be even more special if there was another part of it she could use to draw back to them.
She’s really excited, she realizes, as she leans back and lets Dash do his thing. She’s not anxious, not even a little bit— it’s a little strange to feel good and happy like this again, but she doesn’t feel bad. This is good. She’s doing good.
A soft jingling makes her look up — Jacob’s little ear-wings are flapping, jostling their earrings and making them jingle as the metal clinks together. She giggles. It’s been a while since she’s seen them do that, and it’s just as endearing as it’s always been.
“Dwarf sunflowers!” Dash speaks again, bringing Jaiden’s attention back to him. He’s sprouted several flowers from the ground, and is gesturing to a collection of them — they’re certainly sunflowers, but they’re far smaller. “I love sunflowers, but they’re kind of inconvenient for flower crown making, so…”
“That makes sense, yeah. Sunflowers are great,” she nods, and takes a second to look over the rest of the flowers. There’s some lavender, which makes her smile, daisies, and… alliums, she thinks they’re called. Purple and yellow seems to be the color scheme he’s gone for, and he’s picked the perfect flowers for it. “Ohh, these are all so pretty!” A long, happy trill escapes her — the flowers are exciting, but really, just seeing her friends so happy is what’s making her so happy.
“Aren’t they? God, I fucking love flowers. I might be a little biased, maybe, but like, what’s not to love!” Dash flashes her another grin, and begins to guide her through the steps. “Okay, so, you gotta pick ‘em with as much stem as possible, like this…”
Jaiden nods along, picking some of the flowers from the earth with ease. It takes a minute, but soon, she’s got the process all figured out. It helps that she’s attempted making flower crowns before — though her past attempts have never gotten very far. Turns out, having someone who knows what they’re doing is very helpful!
“…So, what was it you said this was in exchange for?” she speaks up again, after she’s found her groove with weaving stems together, “Preening?”
“He helped me preen earlier,” Jacob interjects, “I was gonna ask you, but he showed up first,”
“Yeah, I went to go bother them and found what looked like a chicken crime scene,” Dash says, and Jaiden giggles at the comparison. That sounds about right. “I’m pretty sure I could stuff a pillow with all that.”
“Chicken. Of course. I’m sure you could stuff several pillows, knowing just how much down they have,” she teases, but she can’t deny how much her heart swells. She turns to Jacob again, giving them a soft smile.
“I’m glad you could get Dash to help you out. I’m, of course, more than happy to help you preen, but…” she pauses. Preening has been something they’ve kept between the two of them, mostly — being able to show off such a large part of yourself to someone else and trust that they’ll take care of it… it’s always been a big show of trust and vulnerability to her. “It is nice to see that kinda thing opening up to more than just the two of us, y'know?”
She’s not certain what Jacob thinks of it, considering they didn’t grow up with wings. In fact, when the two of them had finally moved in together, Jaiden was shocked to see just how little they took care of their wings. They hadn’t even known how.
But for Jaiden— growing up, her parents had always been the ones to help her out. They’d taught her as well as they could just how important this kind of upkeep is, but they’d more urgently taught her that preening is not something she can let just anyone do.
Not everyone was safe, they’d reasoned. Not everyone could be trusted, especially with feathers like her own — the iridescent hues of her purple barbs were something that she was sure were sought-out by many. Not that she’d ever encountered someone who would take advantage of her like that, but… it’s something she’s always been aware of.
As far as she knows, Jacob hadn’t grown up with the same protective mantras being drilled into their head. They’d seemed to understand, though, the few times she’d brought up her concerns about it.
“Don’t get your hopes up, I am not very good at it,” Dash says, bringing her back to the present. He’s giggling as he talks — they all are, really. “But, uh, yeah, I guess so!”
Jacob hums, nodding. “Yeah, it’s nice to have more options.”
She’s not sure they get what she means, at least, not right now — but it doesn’t matter, really. She can share her thoughts a little more in-depth later.
“I mean, I can’t believe I never showed either one of you how to make flower crowns before,” Dash continues, “Frankly, I've failed you both!”
“Oh, don’t even worry about being good at preening, Dash,” Jaiden says, snickering, “I can give you some pointers and this guy will be purring so loud you could hear it no matter how far you go down the infinite hallway.”
“You KNEW and you didn’t tell me. Jaiden.” Dash places a hand on one of her shoulders, staring into her eyes intently. “This is valuable catboy evidence and you didn’t even fucking tell me. Unbelievable.”
“It didn’t occur to me earlier, or else I would’ve told you!” Jaiden says.
“I’m not a catboy!” Jacob protests, “It’s an angel thing! Smith does it, too!”
She turns to look at them. “It is completely a catboy thing. Don’t even try to get out of it.”
“I’m positive Smith would agree with us,” Dash adds on.
“This, too! At least Smith isn’t a coward like you,” she giggles, “At least they aren’t a chicken.”
“I am not—!”
Dash pulls his hand back from her shoulder, putting it on his chin in an exaggerated thinking pose. “Actually, now that I think about it, aren’t you closer to a chicken, Jaiden? Since you’re actually a bird?”
“My feathers are the furthest from chicken-colored, this is wholly untrue.” She points her chin up, jokingly snobbish.
“With some white paint and a little bit of spite, we could fix that!” He grins.
“Chickens can be different colors,” Jacob points out, “Most chickens are, like, brown. I’ve seen plenty of black chickens in my life.”
“Also true, also true.”
Jaiden squints at the two of them. “…Chickens can’t be purple, though, might I remind you.”
“Maybe you haven't seen any purple chickens,” Dash refutes, “How can you be 100% positive there are zero purple chickens in the universe? You can't. Checkmate.”
She looks at him incredulously. “We're— We're not playing chess. And that's true, I haven't seen them, because they don't exist,” she says, “I'm sure if they did, someone would have documented it by now. Look it up, or something.”
“If we walked into the House and it spit out a purple chicken no one has ever seen before, would you be that surprised? Be honest.”
“If we walked into the House and it spit out a purple chicken, I'll let you paint my feathers whatever colors you want, and deal with the sensory hell of it just for you,” she says, “Which won't happen, because why would the house do that?”
“Why does the House do anything?” Dash says, and at first, it’s clear he’s just joking— but then he tilts his head, actually considering the question. “...why does the House do anything?? Actually, can we talk about this? Why is your house alive? Jacob, what deity did you piss off?”
It’s… a fair question, really. None of them have spent too long thinking about it, much less talking about it, she realizes — and maybe they should. The House is alive, and that’s… that’s weird.
“Maybe they’re the deity they pissed off,” Jaiden suggests lightly — it is good to question, but she’s not exactly wanting to jump into too serious of a conversation. “Maybe this is all an elaborate scheme they made up just to fuck with us.”
“I don't remember pissing any deities off lately,” Jacob says, “I'd love to know why our house is alive.”
“Why am I here? Actually.” Dash says, but it’s not really much of a question — not one that she or Jacob has answers for, at least. “Like you guys are great, don't get me wrong, but me and Fyrus and Giwi and Void— there's no reason for us to... be here???”
Jacob shrugs. “The House likes you guys, I guess? I dunno.”
“Oh yeah, the House has been all around real welcoming. Whatever. I'm thinking too hard.” He huffs, laying back on the grass. “Not imp— well, maybe a little important, but not like immediately important.”
“It made you guys bedrooms!” Jacob says, “It could’ve been much worse, I think.”
Dash looks at them in disbelief. “Right— no, yeah, 100%, it could’ve been worse. My bad.” He makes some grumbly noise. “I’m gonna make another flower crown.”
Jaiden… isn’t really sure what to say. Jacob’s right, it really could’ve been worse — but she gets what Dash is saying, she thinks.
“I'll agree that the House hasn't been the best, but.... yeah, it really could've been worse. Like, what if one of you died, or something?” She shrugs, happening to finish her own flower crown around the same time Dash starts making a new one. She places it on her head, smiling. “At least the not-me that died was, in fact, not me.”
It was a hard subject to bring up, still, but… her point stands. The Incident, as bad as it was, really could have been worse, and she’s grateful it wasn’t. It haunts her all the same, but, well.
Jacob… visibly winces.
What?
Her smile drops— she looks back and forth between Dash and Jacob, both of which are hauntingly silent.
“…Neither of you did die, right?” she says, panic creeping into her voice, “…Right?”
“Dying is a construct invented by the magicians who saw people in boxes,” Dash says, and she barely has half a second to be bewildered by that statement before Jacob speaks up.
“...I... I have something I should probably tell you.”
Jaiden freezes.
Fuck.
“…oh boy, here we go,” Dash drops his half-finished flower crown on his face. “For what it’s worth… they got better?”
“Y-You can tell me anything,” she says. She’s trying so hard not to jump to conclusions in her head— she just has to listen. She has to hear the story. It can’t be that bad, right? Jacob’s clearly alive, in front of her. They’ve been smiling, laughing, talking as normal, they’re alive. “Anything,” she repeats.
“Yeah, I mean… I’m fine now,” they shrug.
“You’re… sitting right in front of me, so I’d, um,” she glances down at her hands, “I’d hope so.”
“But I did, kind of, um…” Jacob pauses. Jaiden keeps her eyes trained on them— what? “It was— a couple days ago? Dash and I went on an— involuntary adventure,”
Days. It’s been days— it’s been days, and they didn’t tell her. It was her fault. She was too caught up in her own stupid fears, she holed herself up in her room, she didn’t even know that something happened. She didn’t know. She should’ve known. She should’ve done something. She should’ve been there.
“The bedroom hallways got turned into... not the bedroom hallways on our way out of Jacob's room,” Dash says, continuing easily from where Jacob had stopped.
“There were some… not very friendly things in there,” they say, “So we ran, but I tripped, and…”
Jacob shrugs. Jaiden doesn’t… know what to do. She doesn’t know what to say.
“…Not friendly things, huh,” she murmurs.
“I watched it happen,” Dash says. He’s… quiet. She shivers — he’s not supposed to be quiet. His voice isn’t supposed to waver, and he’s not supposed to tremble, not like she does. It’s not— This isn’t… “He— yeah. Yeah.”
Jacob… Jacob died.
Jacob died, and Jaiden didn’t even know until days later. She didn’t even know they could die. They’re an angel— how is that possible? What would be powerful enough to kill them?
It wasn’t completely out of the question — Jaiden hasn’t thought about it much before, but she never thought they were immortal. She just… she didn’t think it would happen so soon, or…
“But, you know, I came back!” Jacob says, bringing her attention back to them, “I’m also a magical girl now.”
Her mouth falls open, staring at them. “What…?”
“They are a magical girl now,” Dash deadpans, “And they’re very pretty in their magical dress with bows and lace.”
“Excuse you, I look great,” they scoff.
“…I think you guys need to— to learn a little more about timing,” she breathes — she hardly has it in her to speak, let alone move on? Magical girl? What is happening? “I can’t let you just— move on like that. You just… died?”
“No, that’s how it happened,” Jacob says, “I died, and then I had a magical girl transformation, and came back.”
“If you think this is emotional whiplash, you should’ve been there watching Jacob get fucking stabbed only to reappear in a goddamn lolita dress,” Dash says, but— she really shouldn’t have been there. She couldn’t handle watching herself die—
Her head is spinning — Jaiden watches, she can’t look away. She can’t. She can’t, as it gurgles, bubbles — and then settles.
She just watched Jacob kill her. It. Jacob killed The Thing.
(They didn’t hesitate. It was so easy— it was so easy for them. They killed her.)
Jaiden leans over and throws up on the concrete.
—she couldn’t imagine watching… watching Jacob die. Maybe she should’ve been there, should’ve left her room a little sooner, should’ve gone with them, should’ve done something to prevent it. Maybe if she’d gone, she would’ve been the one to die, and then it would be okay. Everything would be okay, because Jacob doesn’t deserve to die. She doesn’t think she does, either, but maybe it would be worth it. Maybe it would be worth it, if only so her angel would never have to deal with that.
Jaiden falls back on the grass, her flower crown crumpling a little beneath her head as she stares up at the sky. “What the fuck.”
“Yup.”
“Yeah…” Jacob is quiet for a moment, but then speaks up again. “But, like— here, look.”
She sits up again, going to look— only for them to take their shirt off. She immediately covers her eyes— what is he doing? What is happening?
“Magic rock,” they say, pointing at their chest.
“This is like… not even the weirdest part,” Dash says, and Jaiden can hardly believe that— but really, she can hardly believe anything either of them are saying.
“A-A warning would be nice, y’know,” she stutters, but takes her hands off her eyes to look.
Sure enough, there’s a crystal embedded in his chest, shaped like a crescent moon. It’s a deep blue — it matches their eyes.
Her eyes drift a little further downward, though, and—
Her mouth feels dry. It takes everything in her not to throw up.
There’s a scar, right over their heart. It doesn’t look stitched together, like this kind of scar normally would be, but it’s large, and it’s clearly from— from being stabbed. Impaled.
“But check this out,” Jacob says, grabbing her attention again. They reach up and tap the crystal on their chest, and there’s a flash of light.
It’s blinding — she tries to rapidly blink it away, and it almost brings her back to the parking garage, where bright, artificial lights beam down on them, unpleasant after how long they’d spent in darkness.
“You need to get better at warning people!” she says, but eventually, it fades, and her eyes start to adjust, and—
“That’s the weirdest part,” Dash says.
What was left of their previous clothes has dissipated, replaced by a frilly, pale blue dress, adorned with all sorts of bows and lace like Dash had described. Some of the bows are yellow, even, and they’ve got matching yellow cuffs on their wrists. The dress has a window on their chest, showing off the crystal — but not the scar.
Jacob’s even got a little cornflower tucked behind one of their ear-wings. Jaiden distantly wonders if that was from Dash.
“Pretty cool, right?” Jacob says, with some very halfhearted jazz hands from Dash.
She just… stares. “Oh my god.”
Dash nods. “My thoughts exactly.”
They’re smiling a little, now, though it’s small— Jaiden doesn’t understand how they can at all. “I look great, right?”
“…yeah. Yeah, you do,” she says, anyway, even though she’s far too shocked for her words to mean much of anything.
…Something hits her, though.
But… something feels off. Something feels… different.
Jacob is… oddly cold.
She tries to ignore it for a minute, thinking she must be imagining it— but they never get warmer? She pulls back a little to look them in the eyes, worried.
“…Are you okay?” she asks, and they don’t seem to recognize why she’d be asking that, just staring back at her. “You’re… colder than usual.”
They blink. “…Colder?”
“Does… Does this have anything to do with how, um, cold you were last night?” she finds it in herself to ask.
“Ohhh boy, you have no idea,” Dash sighs.
“Oh, yeah, look,” Jacob says, — Dash immediately lurches out of the way — and they put their hand to the ground.
Almost instantly, all of the grass around them frosts over. In a line from where they touched the ground, pillars of ice jut up from the grass, sharp and shiny. The temperature around them drops dramatically.
“Oh,” she breathes, shivering.
Dash seems dejected, staring down at the half-finished flower crown he’d left behind as it gets overtaken with ice, but Jaiden can hardly pay that any mind. Something’s said about at least it wasn’t my arm this time? and she almost looks up to question it, but…
Instead, she’s fixated on the ice. She can almost see her reflection staring back at her, — something she has been making an effort not to look at — but she hardly pays it any mind, focusing instead on the little sharp pillars that had spiked from the grass.
“That’s… fascinating,” she murmurs. She almost wants to touch it, but… she’s hesitant. She wants to trust Jacob, but it’s still hard, especially with this new and rather unpredictable side of them.
“I’m not very good at it yet. But, you know,” Jacob shrugs.
“And it’s, like, rock solid!” Dash stamps down on the icy ground to showcase — it makes Jaiden jump back slightly, but sure enough, the ice doesn’t crack beneath the force of his hoof, despite how thin it is. “See? It’s like… weird magical girl ice.”
She looks down at it a little longer, until Dash says, “…also, can we have the grass back now? I miss the grass.”
“Yeah, hold on,” Jacob nods, and moves their hand out to touch the ice again. The ice thaws away to nothing — but even then, everything’s still freezing.
“…Huh,” Jaiden finally looks up at Jacob and Dash again as the ice dissipates. “This is... crazy. Are you two... doing okay? After all that? I know that it's all funny-silly-Jacob-is-a-magical-girl, now, but...”
She shrugs. “With how fucked up I got over a death that wasn't even mine, I just...” It was hers, in a way. But neither of them agree with her on that, and she doesn’t want to dwell on that. “I dunno.”
Dash just stares blankly at Jaiden for a moment. “...we kind of HAD our... reaction, I guess, down in the Basement,” he then turns to Jacob, “Which is TOTALLY what we're calling it by the way. We need to start naming these rooms and that shattered void hellhole is a basement if I've ever seen one.”
“That was one fucked up basement,” they say.
“This is one fucked up house,” he retorts.
“But... I dunno. I'm fine, I think,” Jacob shrugs, “I just try not to think about it.”
Jaiden frowns, but nods. “...Okay. If it would ever, y'know, help to talk about it, I'll be here. For both of you.” She fidgets with way-too-cold blades of grass, twisting them around her fingers.
“Yeah, we’ve been occupying our time with anime training arcs,” Dash says, “Speaking of which, Jaiden, what My Hero character do you think Jacob is? Very important.”
Jacob turns to face her. “True. Very important.”
Jaiden feels… lost. How can they just be okay with this? Well— Obviously they’re not okay, but they’re— they’re doing better than she was, after she’d witnessed her own horrible thing. And they move on from it so easily.
She doesn’t get it. But… she tries her best to go along with it.
“…I dunno, maybe Monoma?” she offers, “Or Todoroki, doesn’t that guy have something to do with… y’know, ice?”
Jacob only seems to hear the first half, though. “MONOMA!” they shout in exasperation.
Dash is cackling to their side. “Monoma!!!”
“I'm not fucking Monoma!!!” they protest.
“I-I mean, he's blond!” Jaiden says, “What else do you want me to say?”
“TRUE, oh my god!” Dash exclaims, “Jaiden, you're so real, has anyone ever told you that?”
“I hate you guys,” Jacob huffs, and it only stings a little bit, “I'll freeze you, don't test me.”
Dash pokes out his tongue, teasing. “I'd like to see you try!” he pauses, “...when you're not catching me off guard and Elsa-ing my arm I mean.”
…Huh?
“You wanna test that?” Jacob says, and— oh, oh he’s serious. “You want the smoke?
“...I don't want any of what's about to happen, but I'm not about to stop you guys.” Jaiden murmurs, looking between the two of them. She trusts that they’re not going to, y’know, kill each other, but…
Jacob gets up from the ground — there’s an obvious air of playfulness around them, but it still puts Jaiden on edge. Dash raises his eyebrows, but stands when Jacob does, holding his ground.
“...really? Dude I'm not— I was joking! My only fucking defense would be clocking you in the face and/or poison ivy-ing your ass,” Dash says, “And I'm not gonna do either of those things. Because that would be shit.”
“…Pussy.”
Taunting. An obvious attempt to rile him up, to start something.
“Oh?!”
And Dash falls right into it.
Jaiden isn’t sure what to think about what’s about to happen— one second, they were making flower crowns, and the next, she found out Jacob died, and the next, they’re— they’re fighting?
She stands up, herself, if only to back out of their way. It’s… far too late to stop this, she’s pretty sure of it, but she can at least get out of the way.
Her eyes linger on Jacob, mostly— concerned that they might overexert themself, or something. They had died, after all — she’s still reeling at the thought — and she doesn’t know how much they’ve rested since then. If what she knows about them is correct, they probably didn’t rest at all, instead insisting to fixate on and learn as much about this new power as possible.
And she can assume that that’s at least partially true, as she watches them hold out their hand, expecting something — and after a moment, a gigantic double-sided axe manifests in their grip.
“Oh, shit, it worked!” they grin.
“What the fuck!” Jaiden squawks, her wings expanding slightly, some instincts thing to make her look bigger than she actually is — Jacob died and came back, sure. Jacob had ice powers. But— an axe? And that big of one?
It wasn’t out of the question, but it was… surprising, to say the least.
Dash had started to lower his head, shifting into a stance for some kind of ram-tackle— but he seems to have caught sight of the axe, gaping at Jacob. “Oh what the fuck. I forgot about that!” he shouts, “That’s gotta be cheating, what the fuck, man!”
“I didn't think it'd work! God, this thing is so cool,” Jacob almost looks giddy with that thing in their hands. Jaiden shivers a little, and she’s not sure it’s from the cold. “Dash, back up for a sec? Not actually trying to kill you here.”
“You don’t have to tell me twice!”
Jacob waits for a moment, but after it seems they have enough space, they heft it over their shoulder and swing.
Despite how heavy it looks, they seem to be handling it with ease. It doesn’t hit anything, but it sends a spike of fear through Jaiden as if it had.
“This thing is sick,” they grin, gazing down at it.
“...When were you going to mention that you have a fucking axe??“ Jaiden asks, looking at them incredulously. This doesn’t seem like the kind of thing one would just leave out.
But they only shrug in response. “I forgot.
“To be fair, I also forgot,” Dash says — he seems way less freaked out now. “It was a weird day, okay?”
“Okay, okay. It's— Yeah,” Jaiden can’t get herself to look away from the axe. It’s so shiny— light reflects off of it in a way that nearly reminds her of the knife. She takes a shuddering breath. “Yeah, that makes sense.”
“Okay, all done,” Jacob tosses the axe to the side. It disappears before it even hits the ground. “Dash, you still want that smoke?”
And as Dash goes in to tackle Jacob, Jaiden feels herself… fall into the background. And for once, she isn’t bothered by it. There’s far too much on her mind to process, and with those two occupied, it’s much easier to sort through her emotions.
A part of her grieves. Jacob is alive, as has been clearly illustrated to her, but… they died. There are parts of them that Jaiden will never get back, parts that she’s not sure anyone but her cares about.
She should be grateful that they’re even still alive— grateful that they aren’t still stuck down there in the basement, lying in a pool of their own blood, rotting from the inside-out. She should be grateful that all they got away with was a scar over their heart and a crystal in their chest, and she should be grateful that their scar is not open, oozing blood, proving that they’re not as alive as they show themself to be.
Still, she grieves. Still, she can’t move on from the fact that they died.
…well, it’s one more thing they have in common, part of her thinks. (It’s not even true. She never died — though she often forgets that.)
Even as Dash and Jacob wrap up, and Jaiden rushes over to make sure they’re okay, she feels… far away. Her head is stuck in a spiral of thoughts as her body moves on autopilot, helping Jacob get up and watching them and Dash disappear into the House once more.
And after a few minutes to breathe in the fresh air, as if it would help at all (it doesn’t), Jaiden makes her way inside as well.