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It can't be said I'm an early bird
That alarm clock was the bane of Cathy's existence, but she honestly hadn't intended to chuck it out the window. She was aiming for the bin. Unfortunately, she was pretty bad at sports.
It's ten o'clock before I say a word
The beeping could still be heard from way outside. Urgh. That thing was indestructible. Too bad. It was whoever was down there's problem now. Predictably Kat was already up and gone, probably on a run or whatever, but Cathy was barely awake.
Baby, I can never tell
How do you sleep so well?
Throwing the duvet around her like a robe, she made her way to kitchen to get a coffee. The machine had a sticky note stuck to it, Kat's handwriting on in it a sharpie. Drink some water too, babe. Good luck today, you'll do amazing! <3-KH
You keep telling me to live right
She had to smile. Although it was weird how Kat was always up and out of the door so fast, completely at odds with Cathy 'Five more minutes' Parr, it was a comfortable routine they'd settled into since leaving school and moving up to Manchester. That being said there was a parr-t of Parr (ba-dum-chhh) that wondered how long they could go on with the opposites attract idea. Or how long it would take Kat to realise she didn't need someone as useless as her. How long till she accepted she would sleep easier with someone who didn't go to bed at three AM then complain about how tired they were?
To go to bed before the daylight
But then you wake up for the sunrise
The sun was well up now. Ten o'clock or later. The apartment windows let in long shadows from the fire escape out there, the sound of the city below through the open window reminding Cathy that she should really get dressed and head off. She had another audition today, for something called 'SiX' and between the history and the music aspects she was sold. Hopefully she'd get to call-backs.
Maybe she should be focusing on that, she only had what, an hour or two until that audition but she couldn't help her thoughts being wrapped up with her currently absent girlfriend. There was no way she was as perfect as appearances suggest. Right? Well, obviously if asked Kat would say she wasn't perfect, and would no doubt reel off something she made up five minutes before but Cathy couldn't see anything to complain about. At all. Her girlfriend was... Kind. Beautiful. Funny. Confident. Sure there were demons in her past she didn't often talk about (and Cathy didn't ask) but who cared about what happened in the past? She knew there must be something, or something more likely wrong with her than with Kat.
But paranoia shouldn't get the best of her.
You know you don't gotta pretend, baby, now and then
Kat was one of those healthy living people, clean makeup trends and avocado on everything. As far as she had seen Kat never so much as pulled an all-nighter let alone do anything else to wreck the perfect schedule she had. That was the only thing, really. Kat liked planning. Cathy was more a make-it-up-as-you-go type. This certainly caused some minor arguments but nothing important. And yeah, Cathy tried to convince her to mess around a bit more but it never worked.
Don't you just wanna wake up, dark as a lake?
Smelling like a bonfire, lost in a haze?
"I'm going to sleep." She said last night, after Cathy begged like a little kid for 'five more minutes, I really gotta practice my lines!'. "Do what you do. I don't mind. But I'm tired. And it takes beauty sleep to maintain this, you know.". She gestured wildly to herself, pulling a ridiculous face when she did.
"I guess I don't need any, I'm pretty enough." Cathy added seriously "And so are you!"
Kat huffed. "Well, I would say that's adorable, but you also need sleep to like, exist as prettily as you do. Night, SpiderParr.". Cathy slumped into her armchair and watched her disappear into the bedroom. "Yeah, yeah. Night.". But she didn't turn around. And Cathy didn't really sleep. Not well. She never did but still.
Back to the morning, she re-read the note. Again. And again. Traced the handwriting, imagined Kat softly smiling in her running gear as she wrote it, pen cap in her mouth. 'Drink water', ha. Cathy was going to chug a coffee with the desperation of someone half-starved. She would close her eyes and breath in deeply and try her best to will the caffeine into her brain faster. Get drunk on it. And she would like it, too. But Kat didn't.
If you're drunk on life babe, I think that's great, but while in this world
I'd rather take my whiskey neat,
My coffee black and my bed at three
The alarm rang from back in the bedroom. Cathy frowned before realising this wasn't her actual clock, it was her phone. What had she set that for? Oh.
Christ.
That audition.
She threw herself into her room and re-emerged a second later dressed without any particular style but with speed, which is what counted to be honest. Cathy ran out the door like she was racing someone, even though the only person she was racing was herself. And all the while, every few steps, Kat's quietly withdrawn expression from the night before played in her mind. Sad eyes, downturned mouth- Why was she so sad?
You're too sweet for me
You're too sweet for me
Look, Cathy got it. Okay? Kat was perfect and she was... Less than that. Kat was the sun, drawing everyone into her orbit, bright, blinding even. Everything. Cathy knew all that. She hadn't given herself much consideration but oh God, this was her fault, wasn't it? The sad eyes... It was on her. Because Cathy was less. Cathy was all bags under eyes, was built on a foundation of coffee, stacks of books and unhealthy food. She was the quiet humming in the kitchen, not Kat's full force singing complete with goddamn choreography. Kat was sunbeams and rainbows. And Cathy was (well also rainbows but you know) midnights and leaking headphones. Were they too different? Every answer they would give was probably different. Could it be that they were doomed to break? It was maybe a bit excessive to stress this much but she wasn't thinking too clearly and it was this or stress about one of a million other things so.
I aim low
I aim true and the ground's where I go
She sang the song as asked at audition, brain on autopilot. She did everything asked of her with a frozen smile, her mind somewhere else. And when she was done, a quiet thank you from the judges and a handshake later, she was out into the night all over again. And she was surrounded by night air and frost. And it was far later than she thought when she got home.
I work late where I'm free from the phone
And the job gets done
But you worry some, I know
There was singing from the kitchen, the familiar smell of burnt food, because Kat for all her strong points really couldn't cook. When she turned around Cathy saw the worry and felt twin flushes of relief and shame. Relief, because the worry meant Kat cared and shame because she caused that in the first place. "Hey!"
"Hi," Cath said, wandering in and eying the undefinable food in the pots on the hob. "What even is that?"
"Food."
"Is it edible?"
"I hope so." Said Kat uncertainly, prodding it with a wooden spoon.
"If not can we order-"
"NO! You need to eat healthier! It's not good for you."
Cathy shrugged, waving her arms to prove her point as she said "I'm fine."
"You'll die of cholesterol poisoning." Kat warned.
"But who wants to live forever, babe?".
"Me! And besides, you shouldn't put things like pizza and burgers and coffee in your damn mouth, it's not good for you. It's got all kinds of things in it."
You treat your mouth as if it's Heaven's gate
The rest of you like you're the TSA
"I wish I could go along, babe, don't get me wrong.". As she spoke she pressed a quick kiss to Kat's cheek. She knew at some point she'd need to have a conversation about the whole 'too different to date' thing but if she could delay it she would. "So how was the audition?" Kat asked her.
"Ohhhhh, you know, it was fine, I guess. I was a little wooden but hopefully I'll make callbacks."
Ever the positive one, Kat replied "I bet you will." with so much certainty she was almost willing it into being. Cathy chose to believe her because she was too tired to do anything else. It was hard to see that they couldn't realistically work, then again how had they survived all of school hand in hand? Cathy didn't even know. She was in a mood where anything could be true if it hurt her enough. Seriously, just look. Kat was almost past being human. So pretty it hurt, wasn't that the lyric? And that hurt badly so it must be true, see, logic.
You know you're bright as the morning, as soft as the rain
Pretty as a vine, as sweet as a grape
"So... What's wrong?".
Cathy decided the best reaction was no reaction. "Oh. Nothing much."
"You've been looking at me like I've upset you all night," Kat hopped forward so she could look at her girlfriend with a kind of funny intensity. "So what's up, doc?".
If you can sit in a barrel, maybe I'll wait
Until that day
She considered her options before answering. "Do you ever wonder about us?"
"Wonder what? How I met my soulmate? Well there was less duets than Disney promised but I'm still pretty happy with you, why?"
"Kat!"
The concern was growing in her voice. She reached a hand out to her. "Cathy?"
"You know what I mean." Spat Cathy. She turned sharply away, sitting down at the sofa. She heard her girlfriend follow, settling next to her but carefully not touching her.
"No, I definitely don't. Explain.". She paused a moment. "Please."
"I'm not good enough for you."
"Actually, you've got it the wrong way round, I just don't deserve you, love."
She sighed. "Face it, we are never going to be alike. I wish I could be like you, I really wish, because then things would be easier, I don't know but it just will never happen.".
"I don't believe in never." Kitty said.
Just to retort, Cathy said "Well I don't believe in always."
The taller girl was smiling softly, but no less brightly, some sort of a sunrise smile if you could call it that. "And opposites attract, don't they?"
"Never."
"Always.".
Unsure how to answer that, Cathy paused. She took in Kat's expression, her hand lying between them. She took it carefully. "I just worry you'll wake up and realise th-"
"That I love you? Hey loser, guess what, our first kiss was straight out of a Marvel movie. You're giving me a fairytale. Stop stressing you aren't enough.".
"I know but-"
"No. Buts. I'm going to order us pizza and you can pick a movie and I swear, I'll act as unhealthy and coffaholic-y as you need until you can accept that we work together.".
Cathy had to laugh. "Yes ma'am.".
The movie was chosen, the food arrived and Cathy forgot her fears so fast it was hard to believe they were there at all. And as this happened Kat was as cheesy and pathetically in love as possible to the point Cathy was almost begging her to stop. It was only as the movie ended and a sluggish Cathy stumbled towards the bedroom she half turned and heard Kat singing. One of her favourite songs, but she always changed the words. She had never paid enough attention to what she changed the words to:
"You take your whiskey neat. Your coffee black and your bed at three, but you're still sweet to me. Oh you're so sweet to me... You take your whiskey neat, I take four sugars in my tea. But you're so sweet to me. Yeah, you're still sweet to me.".
Cathy smiled like a sunset, let all the different problems of the day turn to liquid in her muddled head and as she hit the pillow she slept like the dead. Better than she had for weeks. She slept like she knew everything would be there when she woke up.