Work Text:
The smell of hospitals in winter
And the feeling that it's all a lot of oysters
But no pearls
All at once you look across a crowded room
To see the way that light attaches to a girl
-"A Long December" by Counting Crows
He’s in Zagreb, scouting out Christmas markets, when he gets a call from Anthony. Dread fills his chest. An unscheduled call from Anthony is never a good thing.
His oldest brother’s voice is curt. “They think Benedict had a stroke. He’s in for a scan now.”
Colin forgets how to breathe for a moment. It doesn’t compute. Relatively young, vibrant, mostly healthy Benedict…how is that possible? “What? He’s…is he okay?”
“He’s at King’s College. Sophie is with him. She brought him to A&E when he developed a terrible headache and started acting confused. That’s all I know right now.” It’s clear Anthony is at least trying to be calm and comforting even if he isn’t exactly succeeding. Colin registers his tension literally a thousand miles away.
There’s some noise on the background of the call then Anthony’s muffled whispers. Colin stands perfectly still on the outskirts of the festive marketplace. The ornate architecture, fairy lights, and general merriment fade into white noise as his world narrows to this phone call. He clutches his mobile to his ear like it’s his lifeline.
“Colin?” Kate’s warm voice fills the line.
“Yeah. I’m here.”
“Benedict is getting the care he needs right now. We don’t know much, and Sophie is beside herself, but she said that he was stable and awake when they took him for more tests. We’re picking up your mum right now and going to meet the family at the hospital to wait to hear more.”
That gets Colin’s feet moving in the general direction of his hotel, leaving the festive market behind him without a second thought. “I’ll be on the next flight.”
Kate’s sigh of relief is apparent. It makes him feel like shit it was ever even a question. “Perfect. We will keep you posted when there is news.”
“Take care of Ant, yeah? And my mum?” Colin can’t help but add though he knows it’s unnecessary. He notes the tremble in his voice.
“Of course, Colin. Be safe getting home.”
It’s only once their call ends and Colin attempts to start booking a flight on his phone that he realizes his eyes are blurred with tears. He touches his cheek and finds it wet. His whole chest seizes as he fights back a sob.
Fuck. This isn’t happening. Not again. Not to Benedict. Not to any of them.
He lands in London just a few hours later, having lucked out on a flight. He honestly doesn’t remember much from Point A to Point B, just being in a general fog of worry and constantly checking his phone for updates. He pays extra for the Wi-Fi on the plane (normally he doesn’t bother) and spends the whole two and a half hour travel time staring at the map on the little screen in front of him, willing the plane to fly faster.
The Bridgerton Family group chat is eerily silent. Just a few quick texts from various members updating their arrival status and the progress with Benedict:
Sophie: Benedict transferred to stroke ward, 5th floor Ruskin Wing. Doing well. Doctors giving IV meds.
Daphne: Thanks, Soph. Sending so much love! ♥️ ️Simon is almost home for the babies then OMW. Be there soon. 🙏♥️
Fran: Michaela and I are en route to the airport. Keep us posted. 💙
Colin: *screenshot of flight information*
Sophie: Loved Fran’s message. Loved Colin’s message.
Kate: Here with A and Mum. Pen is bringing El and Hy. G is headed over.
Daphne: Love you all. Safe travels everyone. ♥️
Sophie: Loved Kate’s message. Loved Daphne’s message.
Kate: Update— Soph is back with Ben. Limited service. Says he’s alert but very tired. They may do surgery to prevent future issues. TBD. Will know more soon.
Sophie: Benedict tells you all to stop worrying so much. 🙄 But you know we love you and appreciate the support. They are doing a procedure called a thrombectomy. Doctor says it will clear the blood clot that caused this. It is supposed to help prevent future issues. Will come out to update you shortly. Love you. B says not to make fun of his gown. *photo of Benedict looking tired but offering up a grin and thumbs up*
Colin: Liked Sophie’s message. Landing soon.
It still takes an interminable two hours before he deboards the plane, navigates through customs, gets an Uber, and makes it to the hospital.
Two long hours of feeling helpless and alone.
He imagines his family clustered together in the waiting room. Too quiet but there for each other despite their collective worry. He wants to see with his own eyes that Benedict is alive and well. He wants to hug his mum, comfort Sophie. He wants to wrap his arms around each of his siblings and squeeze them tight.
He wants all this but he needs Penelope.
He needs his best friend. He needs to lose himself in the beautiful, crystal blue of her eyes. He needs her touch to ground him. Needs the smell of her, so sweet and familiar. He needs her to hold him and tell him it’ll be okay. He's burning for it all.
He feels impossibly unmoored. Adrift. Emotions crash over him like waves. Fear and grief and despair, one after another; they knock him over and turn him around. He can barely catch his breath before he’s hit with another. But picturing Penelope’s face, knowing the look of comfort and love she will have for him, is the promise of a lighthouse on the shore.
Home. Safety. Love.
God, but he loves her.
He knows this now to be true.
These past few months have been a mindfuck. How to define Penelope’s role in his life? She’s been in it for so long. Always as Eloise’s best friend and dear to his family, then slowly, gradually his favorite confidante, the one he turns to for, well, everything . And just when he thought he had her neatly in that box, she (true to form) forced him to see her in an entirely different way. What he had once deemed off-limits, something he could never even consider, was suddenly very much there : eyes he could drown in, kissable lips, skin like the finest porcelain, and a body sculpted from his every fantasy… His dream girl and his best friend all in one perfect package.
It was Fran’s wedding that did it. Seeing Pen in that figure-hugging emerald dress, confident and sexy, nearly brought him to his knees. He could hardly fathom how the whole room didn’t screech to a halt when she walked in: those silky waves of copper hair, her lips painted red and tempting, her breasts threatening to spill out of her dress… Colin was rendered speechless. She’d barely spared him a glance before one of Michaela’s mates had swooped in, leading her to the dance floor and placing his hand low on her hip. Whispering god knows what in her ear. Something in him awoke when that happened. Something dark and feral. A knowing deep in his soul that she was his . He was the only one who could ever appreciate just how beautiful, intelligent, kind, loving, and goddamn sexy she was. Is. Will always be. His Pen.
The need to claim her, possess her, grab her and tell her every lurid thought that was running through his head was so overwhelming, he’d done what he always did when things got confusing: ran.
To California, Mexico, a stint in Brazil… Running because surely this need would fuck it all up. Because how could he ever deserve her? The man who wanders the world, searching for something he can’t even define? He wanders and she puts down roots. She’s made a life for herself in London, with family and friends and a flourishing career. How could he ever be good enough? The third born, trust fund son with a shitty social media “career” who can’t seem to sit still.
Yet, he continues to write to her— emails, texts, instant messages. They exchange photos and moments. Just a quick comment on his Insta post from her is enough to make his day better, to fill his dreams with her at night.
It’s on his most recent stop in London that he decides it’s time to end his personal torture. Sure, he might not be worthy of her ever…but he can try. Because surely no one can love her better than him. So he begins to plan, to finally grow some roots of his own. This trip to Croatia is his last on the books for months; he’s shifting his career (if he can call it that) to something more stable and stationary. He rents a flat. Promises to spend the entirety of the holidays with his family. With Pen.
And now this.
As his Uber driver navigates London evening traffic to King’s College, he scrolls through his phone.
Because the family chat may have been quiet, but Pen knows quiet is not what he needs.
Penelope 🥰 : Kate said you’re coming home. I’m so glad. I hate the thought of you across the continent all alone. I can’t hug you from there.
Colin: I need a hug from you. How is everyone?
Colin: Poor question. I wish I was there. I hate that I’m not there.
Penelope 🥰 : But you will be. It’s okay. Everyone is weirdly quiet. Scared, of course. But Sophie said docs are being positive. He got here early and that’s the best thing. He’s getting treatment and is in good spirits.
Penelope 🥰 : Can’t say the same for Anthony. Kate keeps having to take him for “cool down” walks after he snaps at the poor nurses.
Colin: Ah. Of course. How’s mum? Give her a hug from me.
Penelope 🥰 : Ugh. I just did. She’s stoic. Holding it together. Hyacinth is crying in her lap. It’s heartbreaking but sweet. I can’t imagine taking comfort in my mum like that at her age. But we all know Violet is First Class Mum.
Penelope 🥰 : It does help that Greggy came straight from his rugby match. He smells disgusting and it’s given everyone a common complaint.
Penelope 🥰 : Daphne is trying to bribe someone into letting him shower. For the sake of hospital hygiene.
Colin: This plane can’t go any faster??? Fuck. I’m such a prat for not being there. I’m done with this. I’m never leaving London again.
Penelope 🥰 : Colin, it’s okay. This is not your fault. Ben will be okay. Nothing would’ve happened differently had you been here. The important thing is you will be here soon.
Colin: I promise I’m staying. For a long while.
Penelope 🥰 : I’m sure they will appreciate that. They love you. But they want you to be happy too. Don’t forget that. ♥️
Colin: I’ll be happy when I’m with my family.
Colin: With you.
Penelope 🥰 : Saving a seat for you right next to me. (Actually Eloise is currently using it as a catch-all for her knitting supplies. Act surprised when she gives you an ugly, lopsided scarf.) *selfie of Pen making a cringe face as Eloise stress-knits, oblivious, behind her*
Colin: I love you, Penelope.
Penelope 🥰 : Love you too. ♥️
Probably Pen just thinks he meant it in their usual, friendly way. But he means it as so much more than that and, soon enough, he’ll convince her of it. Because he’s settled on the fact that he’s not letting his family far from his sight for a long time. And Pen is his family and so much more.
By the time he finds his family in the waiting room, he’s received a text that Benedict is in recovery from his procedure, groggy and tired. It all went to plan and the doctors are expecting a full recovery, though time will truly tell the extent of rehabilitation needed.
Colin’s carry-on clatters to the floor once Hyacinth sees him and immediately launches herself out of their mother’s embrace and into his arms. Daphne, Fran, and a showered Greg are quick to join the fray. Once Colin extracts himself from the group hug, he goes straight to Violet. Holding his mum close, he truly feels how much smaller and delicate she is compared to his large frame.
“My dear boy,” Violet cries into his chest. “I’m so glad you’re home.”
“Me too, Mum,” he says, placing a kiss on the top of her head. “I plan on sticking around for a while.”
“Oh, Colin,” Violet sighs, wiping her eyes as she pulls back. “I appreciate that. But let’s take it one day at a time, okay?” Her smile is watery as she places a gentle hand on his face. She gives him a quick kiss to the cheek before finding Hyacinth’s hand and leading her youngest child back to the lounge chairs.
Colin can’t help the sinking feeling in his chest at her response, knowing she didn’t fully trust his words. But that’s okay. He takes a deep breath. He’ll just have to show them. Because he doesn’t blame them, really; he’s left so many times before.
He greets the rest of his family with less intense hugs and handshakes until he’s finally at Penelope and Eloise’s little corner of the room, including the messy heap of yarn that takes up a whole chair as Pen described.
Penelope is waiting for him there, arms open. He doesn’t hesitate to pull her into a tight embrace. Inhaling deeply, he feels his nerves settle for the first time since he got Anthony’s call. The feel of her lush curves against him, the sweet smell of her hair tickling his nose— this is what he needed.
He can feel her try to pull away after just a few seconds. He won’t have it. He squeezes her even closer, rests his cheek on the top of her head, and sways them gently. He feels her sigh into his arms, melting into his touch; she runs soothing hands up and down his back. He catches Eloise’s judgemental gaze on him from where she has returned to knitting. Whatever she finds in his answering expression, though, is enough to make her shake her head and look away.
“Welcome home, Colin,” Penelope whispers through a teary grin when she finally pushes back from his hold.
She looks tired. Her makeup is all worn off after the long day, her hair a bit of a mess. Still, she’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. It takes all of Colin’s willpower not to kiss her senseless. Instead, he grabs her hand and traps it close to his heart, not wanting her to move away from him.
A pretty blush tinges her cheeks when he places a soft kiss to her fingers.
“I missed you, Pen,” is all he can say, knowing it’s hardly enough. Their eyes lock and he feels electricity sizzle between them.
Sophie returns to the room, then, to tell them that Benedict is awake enough, for now, to receive visitors. The somber waiting room fills with the delightfully familiar sounds of Bridgertons bickering and jockeying for prime slots in the two-person visitation rotation.
Colin is content to wait his turn, letting his more excitable siblings go first. Taking Pen’s hand, he leads her to two open chairs. He doesn’t let go as he drops into his chair. Pen takes the hint and sits in the chair next to him, leaning against his body despite the surely uncomfortable armrests between them. They fall into an easy silence as Colin works to calm his body and mind. Having her hand clutched in his certainly helps.
The Bridgertons (and their spouses) come and go. They make quick visits to Benedict’s bedside before returning to the waiting room and tagging in the next pair. Each group returns from their visit with their spirits higher, relief palpable despite the tears they may still be swiping away. Conversation in the waiting room picks up. Plans are made for supporting Sophie and sorting out the children and when they can return in the morning.
Finally, it’s Colin’s turn to see his brother. To her surprise, he tugs Penelope right along with him. It pains his heart that she needs the reassurance she is included in their mix just as much as Kate or Michaela, even though she’s arguably closer to Benedict and certainly known him longer. Colin couldn’t do this visit without her at his side. A quick walk down a sterile hallway and they find themselves outside Ben’s room.
It takes Penelope’s strength, her hand nudging gently at his back, to push him across the threshold. Colin holds his breath. Seeing his older brother like this, so small and pale against the white hospital linens, is a punch to the gut. All the machines and tubes and monitors that surround him overwhelm Colin.
They never saw their father like this. No, Edmund had been alive and present one moment and gone the next, never making it to hospital care. Still, Colin’s body finds itself back to that terrible day, how everything quieted and blurred as Edmund fell to the floor, unresponsive. There’d been his mum’s screams, his sisters’ cries, and the horrified stoicism from Anthony as he seemed to try to absorb all the emotion in the room, his new reality taking shape. Colin only seemed to watch it all from a distance, helpless and inert, as his family fell apart before his eyes. It was the first time he ran— ran away from the horror of his father’s dying body, ran away from the pain of his loved ones, shattered and broken. He ran out of Aubrey Hall, through the gardens, and past the lake. He ran all the way to the woods that bordered the property. It was only then that he let himself collapse, shaking and crying. Alone, it felt safe to crumble under the weight of unimaginable grief.
It was Benedict who found him some time later. He didn’t say anything about their father. He didn’t need to as Colin had watched from a safe distance as an ambulance and police cars came and went, lights and sirens quiet as there was no need for urgency. Benedict didn’t say anything but he did pull Colin up into a tight hug. He made a dumb joke through their tears and ruffled Colin’s hair. Then, he offered Colin an apple. When Colin reached for it, Benedict took off at a run, taunting and teasing Colin into following. Leading him back home.
Now, Colin finds himself led to Benedict’s bedside by Penelope’s hand. She squeezes him in reassurance as they approach. Benedict looks terrible, honestly, but the glassy-eyed grin on his face is familiar enough that it eases Colin’s fear just a bit.
“Ahhh! The young lovers!” Benedict giggles as he takes them in. “Colin, my brother, returned from his great voyage! How did the seas treat you?” His words are slightly slurred, whether from the drugs or the stroke, Sophie said it’s too soon to tell.
Colin checks in with Pen, who is biting back a grin. He takes that as his cue he can enjoy his brother’s antics on the good drugs because, well, he’s clearly alive and breathing and somewhat coherent. “I flew here on a plane, Benedict.”
“I bet your arms are tired!” Benedict makes the joke far too seriously, though his follow up yawn signals his fatigue. Terrible joke aside, he supposes they can be grateful Benedict’s cognition is well enough.
“How are you feeling, Benedict?” Penelope asks. She drops Colin’s hand so she can fuss with Benedict's blanket. She tucks it just so around his chest then flutters to the end of the bed to be sure his legs and feet are properly covered. Colin can’t help but watch her— that’s his Pen, always so kind and caring, looking out for the needs of others.
“Great,” Benedict yawns again. “Just great. Real good drugs here.” As Penelope gently rubs the taped skin around Benedict’s IV line, his brother looks at her with moony eyes. Colin frowns. “Lovely, beautiful Penelope—I’m so glad your siren call finally brought Odysseus home.” Benedict gives Colin an exaggerated wink.
“Okay, Ben,” Colin rolls his eyes. His brother’s brain definitely seems okay if he can make literary references. “We’ll let you get some rest. We just wanted to check in.”
“Find Sophie for me?” Benedict mumbles as he begins to doze off. “Love you, brother and almost sister.”
Penelope giggles and presses a kiss to Benedict’s forehead. He sighs happily. “We’ll go get your wife. Good night, Benedict. We’re glad you’re well.”
“Night, Ben,” Colin says, finding Pen’s hand again. “We’ll be back tomorrow. Love you too.”
With an approving nod, Penelope follows him out of the room.
Most of the family leaves the hospital to gather at Number 5 for the night. Anthony and Kate head back to their home to relieve their nanny; Daphne returns to her children and husband as well. The rest seem to need to stay together. Colin, for sure, can’t fathom going back to his flat by himself, nothing but unpacked boxes and empty rooms to greet him.
Gregory orders an excessive amount of pizza delivered and Eloise can’t even bring herself to complain about food waste. They all settle into the main reception room of the Bridgerton townhouse, stuffed as it is with cozy furniture and lush carpets meant to accommodate the large family in a single space. Conversation starts slow, as if they are afraid to disturb a tentative peace, but a text from Sophie assures them all is well for the night. The mood lifts. Michaela starts pouring drinks. It’s not long before Hyacinth and Gregory are arguing over sleeping arrangements (they are the only two that still have dedicated rooms at Number 5, though some shuffling must occur to accommodate them all.) Eloise, Penelope, and Francesca are on about some reality show they all love while Michaela shows Violet pictures from her and Fran’s honeymoon. Colin is content to sit quietly and watch, soaking in the comfort of an evening with family. He tries not to focus on the missing pieces.
As they all become more comfortable, and a little bit tipsy, someone (probably Hyacinth) pulls out Scrabble and it’s Bridgerton controlled chaos from then on. Colin excuses himself to shower off the day as the game begins, returning to find Eloise and Greg locked in head-to-head battle over the existence of the word “ZA.” They refuse to consult the Scrabble dictionary that Violet purchased for just this reason. Hyacinth seems to have found an answer in said book and is taunting them with it. Violet has apparently gone to bed, which explains the group’s descent into unchaperoned madness.
Washing their hands of the scene, Francesca and Michaela bid their goodnight once Colin arrives.
Colin bypasses the ongoing Scrabble battle. Gregory and El are talking over one another now; Colin estimates they have three minutes before the board goes flying. Colin finds Penelope sitting in an overstuffed armchair, scrolling her phone. It’s a testament to her belonging in the family that she can completely tune out the impending bloodshed.
“May I?” He gestures to her chair that’s certainly big enough for two (if the two want to get cozy.) Penelope looks a little surprised at the question; they don’t typically share a chair like this, but she shifts enough for Colin to squeeze in. Once he does, he groans in relief at finally finding a comfortable seat.
“Tired?” Pen asks, eyes lit with sympathy.
Colin just nods. He reaches for Pen, wrapping an arm around her waist and turning her body gently so that she has no choice but to sit a bit sideways in the chair, her legs thrown over his. Colin settles. He enjoys the feel of her cradled against him. Penelope tenses up for a moment but once Colin slides his eyes closed, she seems to relax, shifting a bit to find her own comfort.
A loud protest from Greg and a screech from Eloise signal the end of the Scrabble game. Hyacinth, it seems, has declared that Eloise’s score is impossible for Greg to beat regardless of the legitimacy of the word “ZA.” Announcing it is time for bed, Hyacinth begins to sweep the tiles off the board and into the storage pouch. Eloise sits in her smugness. She picks up the Z and A tiles, pelting them at a still-ranting Gregory. With a final curse to his sister, Greg stomps out of the room like a child, refusing to clean up. He barely manages out a goodnight to Colin and Pen in his continued tirade.
Colin watches this all go down with a grin. His hand finds a place on Pen’s knee. He gives it a quick squeeze. Penelope’s answering smirk is a balm to his weary soul.
“All right. Sister sleepover then?” Hyacinth announces once the game is cleaned up. She glances back and forth between Eloise and Pen. Michaela and Francesca ended up taking over Hyacinth’s room for the night, leaving the three remaining women to share the guest bedroom with the king-sized bed. Gregory maintained his own room, leaving Colin the final guest room.
Grumbling, Eloise stands and gives her wine glass one last fill, emptying out the bottle. “Fine, but I’m not in the middle.”
Hyacinth rolls her eyes. “Of course, you are. You sleep like the dead. Besides, Penelope always has to pee in the middle of the night and I have to sleep with my foot off the bed.”
“Like a psycho,” Eloise mutters. She looks to Penelope, doing a double take when she registers the cozy position Colin and Pen have on the chair. She gives Colin that look again, raising an eyebrow. “You coming, Pen?”
“Oh, um…sure.” Penelope starts to move, a little flushed. She looks between Eloise and Colin. Colin frowns and holds Pen in place.
Ignoring his disapproving sister, Colin meets Penelope’s gaze. He’s not ready to let her go just yet. “Stay for a few minutes?” He holds up the tumbler of whiskey he’s barely touched. “I have to finish my drink.”
Penelope nods, looking almost relieved. “El, I’ll be up in a bit?”
“Okay…” Eloise responds; it sounds like a warning. “Just don’t blame me if Hy pushes me over to your side of the bed. Her stupid long legs end up everywhere.”
And then she’s gone and it’s just the two of them.
“What’s her deal? Is she worried about your virtue or something?” Honestly, Colin can’t think much beyond how good it feels to hold Pen like this. He might be able to fall asleep here, curled up together. Except… With a sigh, he shifts her a bit so she’s seated more fully on his thigh, resting against the plush back of the chair. It gives him the perfect angle to snuggle his head right into the crook of her neck. He breathes in deeply. There. Perfect.
Penelope sighs, too, and strokes his hair. It makes Colin want to purr. “I don’t think she’s worried about my virtue, Colin. More like my heart.”
The stroking stops as she registers her own words. Colin can feel her heart beating loud in her chest. Oh. Well. If that’s the problem…
“Pen, if I were lucky enough to have your heart, I would treat it with nothing but the utmost love and care.” The words are a bit mumbled into her neck. Still, he feels her whole body shiver as his breath and lips brush her skin when he speaks, or maybe it’s the words themselves.
“Colin…”
She isn’t moving. Hasn’t gone back to caressing him. Pouting, Colin lifts his head to look at her. He finds her staring at him, eyes wide and lips parted in the most tempting way.
“Colin,” she repeats, seeming to gather herself. Her eyes darken. Whether a bit frantic with need or with worry, he isn’t sure. “Colin…you know my heart is already yours, don’t you?”
It’s Colin’s turn to be stunned into silence. “It is?”
She nods, a tentative smile on her face, like she isn't offering him the greatest gift. “Yes. For a long, long time.”
“Pen…” he gasps, trying to reorder his world. A world in which she's already his. That this affection that's held him together today isn't a one-time thing. It's...it's everything. Tears pool in his eyes. He blinks at her. Tries to find the right words. “I love you.”
Her smile brightens, hopeful. “You do?”
Eagerly, he nods. Her hand traces along his jaw then cradles his cheek. He’s basically a puddle at her feet. “I do. Assuredly, Fervently. Loudly.” He promises her like she once dreamed someone would. He means every word. “I…I was going to tell you, at Christmas maybe. Sometime when I came home. Because I am home for good now. Mostly. I have a flat and everything.”
She laughs, moisture making her eyes glitter. “Oh…okay, wow …I wasn’t expecting…”
“And you?” He can’t help but ask. He has to know. Has to be very clear. “How do you feel?”
Penelope leans her forehead against his. Takes a deep breath. Her nails rake along his scalp, forcing him to bite back a groan. “Colin Bridgerton, I love you. I have always loved you. I will always love you.”
He doesn’t need more of an invitation than that to kiss her.
It feels like coming home.
The smell of bacon rouses them out of bed the next morning. After a lazy make-out session in the armchair the night before, they fumbled their way to Colin’s guest room, trying to stay quiet in the darkened house. Colin lamented to Pen that he was far too tired to “ruin her virtue” but he wanted nothing more than to sleep with her in his arms.
So they did.
It’s a bit of a walk of shame in the morning when they find that all the other family members are awake. Even Anthony, Kate, Daphne, and Simon are present, having arrived with breakfast offerings for everyone to share before their return to the hospital.
“I told you!” Hyacinth crows when they enter the combined kitchen/dining area together. Not having anything but yesterday’s clothes, Penelope is drowning in an old jumper of Colin’s and a pair of his wool socks pooling around her calves. It puts images in his head that are entirely inappropriate in his mother’s home.
Anticipating his family’s typical nosiness, and to quell Penelope’s clear anxiety at their predicament, Colin grabs her hand and tugs her into his side. Though Hyacinth is openly giggling, everyone else seems to be staring at them with varying degrees of shock and delight.
“It’s true. I finally told Penelope that I love her and, luckily, she loves me too.” Colin snags a piece of bacon from a platter and shoves it in his mouth. Everyone continues to stare. “And, for the record, all we did last night was sleep. So get your minds out of the gutter, you dirty heathens.” Colin winks at Pen, delighted at his own speech. She just covers her face, cheeks flaming red which, honestly, just spurs him on. “Though definitely don’t expect things to stay platonic very much longer, in case you have a crack about that too.”
There’s a series of groans, gagging noises, and cheers from the peanut gallery.
“Oh my god …” Penelope sighs and snatches her hand out of his grasp, giving him a playful shove. “Colin Bridgerton.”
He can’t help but snag her back before she can get too far and plant a quick kiss on her lips. She grins up at him, dazed. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” she shakes her head, a bit in disbelief still. There’s a chorus of “awws” from the dining table. “Now fetch me a cup of coffee, please.”
Eloise snorts, though she’s dabbing at her eyes. “As he should. Idiot. And a refill for me as well!”
Colin flips off his sister and heads to the coffee pot. From his vantage point, he can observe as his mum, all teary-eyed, beckons Penelope over and hugs her. She whispers something in Pen’s ear that makes her blush and smile. Colin nearly overflows her coffee mug.
He returns to the dining table to set down two steaming mugs of coffee, happy to see his mum shifted her seat so that he and Pen can sit next to one another.
Violet pats his arm as he passes by, the expression on her face saying it all. “I’m so happy for you both, darling. Now be a dear and fix Penelope a plate.”
“With pleasure.” Colin gives Pen a slight bow, enjoying her fluster at being the center of attention. He winks at her. Eloise rolls her eyes. Gregory and Hyacinth start plotting additional requests they can make of him, as Francesa and Daphne fawn over Penelope. Michaela and Simon have lost interest in the drama and fallen into their own conversation on some band they both follow.
Clapping her hands to get everyone’s attention, Kate smiles at the group. “Well, with this delightful news, it’s only fitting we have more to celebrate.” She nudges her husband. “Anthony? Would you like to share?”
Clearing his throat, Anthony fiddles with his fork for a moment. He has a sort of pained smile on his face, like he isn’t sure he’s allowed to express joy. “Yes, of course. I’m sure you’ll all be glad to know I spoke with Benedict this morning.”
A chorus of cheers goes up from the table.
Anthony settles them all with a wave of his hand. “He’s still quite tired. The doctor said he will struggle with fatigue for some time. But the surgery was successful. They expect to keep him a few more days for observation and to do a full assessment to plan for his recovery and rehabilitation.”
Mouth full of pastry, Hyacinth asks when they can visit. And then the conversation takes off, competing questions and plans for the day and the usual Bridgerton noise.
Colin takes it all in, no desire to escape the chaos but he does go to fetch the love of his life a plate of food.
epilogue
A dusting of snow adorns Aubrey Hall as the Bridgerton clan descends for the Christmas holiday.
It’s been a little over a year since Benedict’s stroke. Though he’s still prone to bouts of fatigue and occasionally struggles with some motor skills, he’s almost fully recovered. He and Sophie threw a big party to mark the occasion of his “Strokeaversary” with music and dancing, the whole family coming together to celebrate life, as Benedict had demanded.
Celebrating life was a good description. It was a long, hard year for Benedict and Sophie. Shortly after Benedict was discharged from the hospital, Sophie discovered she was pregnant. They had to tell the family much earlier than they would’ve liked as Sophie struggled with intense sickness in her first trimester just when Benedict required the most support in his recovery. Those first few months, Colin was so grateful he’d shifted the focus of his career to be home more often. He was able to pitch in, taking Benedict to his therapies and giving Sophie time to rest. The family all helped out, of course. Because for as fiercely as they fought at times, they loved even more fiercely.
Now Benedict and Sophie had Charlie, the light of their lives, and an adorable addition to the growing collection of Bridgerton grandbabies.
Those first few months in London, Colin settled into his new normal. His relationship with Pen was his priority. Though they had a few bumps here and there, for the most part he found loving and then living with his best friend to be easy sailing. (The hardest part had been honoring Penelope’s request that they wait at least six months to get engaged. He proposed on their six month anniversary, practically down to the minute.)
Pen was his anchor to home, of course, but it wasn’t just her that kept him in place. It was those hours with Ben at his therapies. He saw his brother fight and struggle. He was there to encourage him or kick his ass, whichever he needed. It was getting to see his nieces and nephews grow before his very eyes; he often found himself stealing them away for adventures big and small. He went to Gregory’s rugby matches and took a cooking class with Hyacinth. Once Penelope officially moved into his flat, Eloise always seemed to be popping over and he found he didn’t mind at all (well, usually.) There were weekend brunches at Number 5 and dinners hosted by Anthony and Kate or Daphne and Simon. It was a quick, cheap flight to visit Fran and Michaela for the weekend; he and Pen always had a blast with the couple. He made sure to take his mum on dates to the theater or a museum.
He tried to soak up each moment, knowing how uncertain life could be.
“Do you think it’ll snow more before the wedding?” Penelope asks, peering out their bedroom window into the starlit night. Aubrey Hall is a picture perfect winter wonderland, both outside and inside. Violet went all out with the decorations this year, every bit of the estate trimmed with elegant white lights and greenery. Everywhere you look, something sparkles or shines.
“I’m not sure, love. I hope so.” Colin watches his bride-to-be from their bed with a grin. “I’ll put in a word with the big guy though.”
Penelope rolls her eyes at him. “It’s beautiful but I also don’t want our families and friends delayed or traveling in poor conditions.” She bites her lip, twisting idly at the engagement ring on her finger.
“It’ll be perfect,” Colin promises. “Because it’s our wedding. Now stop worrying and come join me.” He pats the open space beside him and gives her his most goofily seductive look. It makes Pen laugh. She shakes her head and makes her way over to him, crawling onto the bed so she can settle in his waiting arms.
Colin hates how stressful the wedding process is for her. Even though they agreed on this relatively small affair with just family and close friends at Aubrey Hall, they still each have their moments of wanting to just sod it all and elope. But he knows that neither of them can truly imagine doing this any other way, that it’s just the stress talking. Besides, between Violet and Daphne, they’ve skated out of quite a bit of the planning and preparation for the event.
“In a week, I get to marry my best friend,” Penelope says with a dreamy sigh, snuggling close. Her arms wrap around him. “Sixteen year old Penelope used to scribble Mrs. Bridgerton in her notebooks, you know.”
Colin chuckles. He nuzzles her forehead with his nose. “Always the smart one, my love. I'm forever sorry I was late getting here but I’m here now and for the rest of my life.”
Penelope responds with a kiss to his chest. Manicured nails find their way up the back of Colin’s sweater, scratching lightly on his skin. Pen hitches her leg over his and wiggles closer. She buries her head into his neck and inhales deeply. “Mmm, you smell good,” she murmurs and before tasting his skin. “I love you so much.”
With a groan, Colin runs his hand over her luscious curves before settling on her bum. He gives it a gentle smack before digging his fingers into the giving flesh and pressing her closer to him. “Pen, I’m not sure we have time before dinner…”
She rocks into his growing erection. “We could be fast…”
“We’re never fast,” he laughs, pulling her off his neck and guiding her lips to his for a deep kiss. “You made me promise no walks of shame this week.”
“I’ll forgive you,” Pen smirks, trying to pull him to her as he pushes away. But it’s all a tease. Because he knows she really doesn’t want to deal with the onslaught of heckles they’d get from their family showing up late to dinner. (Not that it would be their first time, or any couple’s first time for that matter. His siblings never get any less ruthless about it though.)
“Oh, Pen,” he shakes his head with fake seriousness. “I’m not falling for that .”
They both laugh as they untangle and rise from the bed, sneaking in a few more kisses.
Colin can’t help but gaze in adoration as his future wife freshens up for dinner. It’s been a year and he can’t imagine he’ll ever tire of watching her. Can’t fathom being over the awe he feels in knowing she’s his, that she trusts him with her beautiful, precious heart.
He knows he could never run from that. From her. She’s the sun he will forever orbit around. He thinks that maybe he’s outgrown the need to flee from his problems. That even when it’s hard and it hurts, he can stay. His presence is enough. He doesn’t need to do or be anything other than himself. Pen’s helped him see that. Through her love, he sees that he is enough.
And in a week, he’s going to promise her to stay forever. He can’t wait.