Chapter Text
Vox pushed Valentino’s arm off of him, saying he wasn’t in the mood tonight and had a lot of work. But, Valentino being Valentino, didn’t like that answer very much.
After some yelling, some furniture getting thrown around and a break-up, Valentino finally left Vox’s office, leaving the media demon to lie in his own shattered glass from his screen. It fucking hurt.
Part of him told him to block Valentino, but he knew that even if they were broken up, it would only be a matter of time before Vox came crawling back. So, instead he just called Velvette to patch him up, like usual.
Fuck his life.
VwVwVwV
Vox stared down at the piece of paper in his hands. A form, saying he was the selected Overlord to go to Heaven as a representative, by unanimous vote, to discuss the redeemed sinner, Sir Pentious.
All the overlord’s had voted on which one to send anonymously, and Vox knew he sure as fuck didn’t pick himself. The trip would mean that your full name could be revealed to the people there, and Alastor, the fucking radio demon, was going.
It was fucking dangerous. And as Vox got a text, just of a heart emoji, from Valentino, he knew what happened. It had been fucking rigged. Valentino had been so mad that he putting Vox’s life at fucking risk. Names had power. And Alastor was going to learn his.
But, if he didn’t go, Lucifer would be upset. So, wishing for his own death was going to come around anyway. Maybe Alastor would show mercy though.
He decided that he would go to Heaven, even though it would practically be Hell for him. But he wasn’t very interested in discovering if Double Hell was, in fact, real. So, he changed into his nicest clothes, wrote a note for Velvette about what was happening, and left.
His limo driver was a little confused when he asked to go to the Hazbin Hotel, but she quickly obliged, and drove Vox there quickly. The crimson streets full of violence and sex passed by in a blur, and then far too soon, he was at the hotel.
He thanked her, and then walked to the small group of representatives. Some Ars Goetia was there, Alastor and Charlie, as well as Vaggie. And then, in the middle of it all stood Lucifer Morningstar himself.
“Vox! Old pal, I am so glad you are finally here! I was lacking entertainment!” Alastor chirped, spreading his arms as if for a hug. Vox calmly sidestepped him, standing next to Lucifer.
“Vox! You’re finally here! I was wondering when you’d get here!” Lucifer hugged Vox, and Vox patted the king’s head.
“Traffic is wild in the Pentagram, y’know how it is,” Vox sighed, rolling his digital eyes at his own statement.
“Still, I missed ya! Are you and Val still dating?” Lucifer asked.
“Nah, we just broke up. Still sorry about the divorce though” Vox stepped away from the hug.
“It’s all good! She had this kinda weird thing about wanting a threesome with Eve- Like, a lot.” Lucifer shrugged.
Both of them heard the sound of radio static, and turned to see Alastor, looking extremely angry, despite his smiling.
“You two are acquaintances?” Alastor asked. He sounded unstable as fuck.
“Well, duh smiley trashbag, he kinda powers all seven rings? Kinda have to know him! Plus, if you hate him, that’s a bonus for me!” Lucifer slung an arm around Vox’s shoulder (Vox bent down for that), and smirked, showing his sharp teeth.
“Your majesty, I don’t think you should be focussed on such frivolous things. Open the portal.” Alastor snapped. Lucifer huffed, but still got to work on opening the portal. Golden light swirled throughout the air, and then a glowing portal, the colour of angelic blood, glowing in the scarlet hues of Hell, appeared.
Pure angelic power. The strongest thing in Hell. Charlie and Vaggie stepped through the portal, followed by the Ars Goetia member. Alastor strode through it like it was an average Wednesday afternoon, leaving Vox and Lucifer.
“V, are you okay?” Lucifer put a hand on Vox’s shoulder.
“I- Yeah. Just really fucking hate Al, and since getting into Heaven requires a full name reveal, everyone will know I’m not a cis guy, and I don’t trust that motherfucker with any information about me! You know that Val doesn’t even know I’m trans? He has never seen below the belt. Not once. Only hand and mouth shit our whole ass relationship. And he’s never realised! “ Vox ranted.
“Look, Al sucks, but I’m sure he’s not fucking transphobic. He’s a dick with really fucking confusing standards.”
“I just fucking hate him so much, I despise his very being, I just- Ugh, he makes me feel so- so- so- You know what I mean!!”
“...Vox, how long have you had a crush on him?”
“I don’t like him!!! I hate him! Loathe him! Despise him!” The area was silent for a second. “Okay yeah how did you know?”
“I know you, Vox. Look, just focus on finding someone who isn’t a complete asshole, kay?” Lucifer took Vox’s arm, and dragged him through the golden portal. For a second, Vox’s body was nothing and everything for both eternity and no time at all.
And then, he came out of the portal and arrived in Heaven.