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Puppy of the Farm
It wouldn’t exactly be Murat’s first time down the Lannes’ household but it would be his first time out in a public event since…well before he died. Demons - even redeemed one’s - weren’t exactly welcome in Heaven or by old citizens of Heaven who had gone down to Herkos , they were thought of as savages and impure compared to the virtuous and divine angels , dights and larks of Heaven and Herkos.
A stain forever placed due to the presence of corruption and the misinformed fall of Lucifer and the Veytiun’s ; a collection of angels who knew the truth and wanted to welcome the others to what could be.
“Alright , ohh boy this is gonna be a long day.”
As Joachim stepped out his car , he was met by the chariot of Alexander and Napoleon , both hand-in-hand while walking out the cabin.
“Bonaparte , Romanov.” Joachim nodded , watching the 2 mess with their hair and clean themselves.
“Murat , excited I presume?” Napoleon questioned with a smirk , “After all , who wouldn’t want to have an excuse to spend a day with their mistress , or boy toy in your case?”
“He’s not my boy toy we’re…we’re somethin’.”
“Well that’s for sure.”
“Bonaparte , do yourself a favour and shut the everlasting fuck up.”
Napoleon rolled his eyes as Joachim went to the back of his car , taking Fleur out with a leash around her neck , Alexander immediately squealing in excitement and rubbing her fur.
“Oh aren’t you the sweetest wittle puppy here?”
“Jesus.”
Leash Licker
Napoleon and Alexander had left the poor demon and his dog be - all be it with the struggle of pulling Alexander away from the fluffy being - and so , Fleur and Joachim made their way around the festival , looking at antiques and cakes on sell , their tails wagging when out of no where , Joachim felt a tug on Fleur’s leash.
“Puppy! Puppy!” He heard a kid cry , Fleur letting out small “woofs” as she struggled. Joachim quickly pulled back the leash from the angelic child.
“Mama , mama , puppy!” It cried , a blonde angel walking over - presumably the child’s mother.
“Ohh yes dear an adorable dog isn’t it?”
Joachim ended up coughing , attempting to get the mother’s attention.
“Mam , this is-”
“How much for the mutt?”
Mutt? Joachim had been gifted Fleur from Bessieres as a companion for home , she’d been trained with the purpose of being there for Murat as soon as he came or called her name or even tugged on her leash , she wasn’t some dog he just found in a pound.
“Oh she’s not for sell.”
“Come on , name a price - my husband works for the Herkan military - I can do upwards of a million Abes.”
Joachim sighed , Fleur laying on the ground as the angel child was playing with her hair , nothing was getting through to this woman.
“Mam , this is my dog and I am the head of offence , now would you please tell your child to get off my dog?”
“Sweetie , don’t lie , demon’s can’t get a high position like-”
“Hey , Murat!” Joachim turned around quick enough to feel a hug from Jean , pushing his halo down a bit to not blind him , the angelic mother and son looked on in shock. “Hope the palace hasn’t been too harsh on you , with me being off for the week y’know?”
“No , not at all , fairly easy going actually.”
Jean took him by the arm and dragged him away from the angelic family , hearing a small mumble from the woman along the lines of “Bastard Imp.”
“Sorry I couldn’t get to you quicker , Josie had some issues setting up the fireworks and Caroline is coming for the alcohol portion of the evening.”
“Caroline , as in my wife , Caroline?”
“The one and only.”
Joachim and Caroline hadn’t been on good terms the day he was welcomed into Herkos from Hell , it was expected however seeing how the media portrayed demons like him and Bia - the now guardian of Elizabeth.
“I’m not dealing with her today , not after last month.”
“Last month?”
“She came into the palace to see her “goodie older brother” and was surprised I was even still alive…or after alive I suppose.”
Don’t Belong
“…And we got cotton candy and ice cream and market stalls a-.” Jean and Joachim had been walking around the festival grounds with Fleur in leash when she laced down panting , the 2 stopping.
“Poor girl , must be tired , got any dog stalls of such?”
“We have dog ice cream I think , but they’re an Italian couple selling it.”
Joachim looked at Jean , picking Fleur up with a groan.
“I can do that.”
And so they began their walk to the ice cream stall , chatting along the way when a band of angelic guards rammed into Joachim’s shoulder , making Fleur whine a bit and retreat into Joachim’s shoulder.
“Watch it , asshole!” Joachim shouted out , his tail shaking like a rattle.
“You were in the way you lob cock.” He heard one of the angels shout back , Jean holding him by the shoulder.
“Don’t think about it , just keep walking.” Jean shook his head , taking Fleur in his arms.
They hadn’t even started walking when Joachim felt a sharp pain in his tail , letting out a demonic screech as he pulled it to his chest and looked behind him. Low and behold , the husband of the mother angel was there with his wife and when he got a good look at Murat’s face , he was washed.
“H-Hey…boss.”
“Hugo?” Jean spoke in a frustrated voice.
“Bosses?”
“You cunt!” The couple heard Joachim hiss , quickly running off as Fleur barked , Jean rubbing his shoulder. “I’ll fuckin’ fire him , as soon as I see him back at the palace.”
“Joachim , come on , let’s just get some ice cream and clear your head.”
Affair of Attractions
Joachim had Fleur on his lap as they sat in a tent that Jean set up for when Josie finished setting up the fireworks , the 2 licking on their ice cream as Fleur was liking off some from her nose.
“How’s your tail , feeling better?”
“It stings a bit but it’s fine.” Joachim turns to Jean looking down at his had before looking back at his strawberry ice cream , “Are you?”
“Hmm , yeah?” Jean chuckled for a second , putting his leg down and kicked his legs , watching them go back and forth while sat on the table.
“Good , good good.”
They then sat in silence for a bit , Fleur letting out small barks and the sound of her tail hitting the table before getting up , tapping Joachim’s leg. As Joachim leaned down , the dog grabbed Joachim’s ice cream and started biting down on it , leaving Joachim shocked and Jean cackling.
“SHE STOLE MY ICE CREAM , YOU ASS!” Joachim yelled , annoyed as Jean just rubbed his eyes.
“You got fucked over by a dog!”
“Fuck you.” Joachim huffed , acting like a child while his tail just flicked against the table and Jean’s feathered wings.
Jean just continued giggling , handing Fleur the rest of his ice cream before shuffling up to Joachim.
“I’ve missed being next to you , you feel safe to me.”
Joachim quickly turned his head to look at Jean , Jean doing the same with butterflies in his stomach , both holding each other’s hands and slowly went to kiss each other.
“OH MY GOSH , JEAN WE F-.” Napoleon yells out , opening the tent with Alexander , Joachim and Jean stopping to look at them.
“Oh , you’re being gay , good job.” Napoleon smirks , leaning against the tent’s pole as Alexander steps out , “Carry on , imagine I’m not here.”
“What is it with you and our sex lives?!” Jean stands up , placing Joachim’s hand down and pushing Napoleon out as the Ark laughed , “Go away you dick!”
After a few seconds of watching Napoleon and Alexander walk off holding hands , Jean turns around , “Sorry about-.”
He was quickly cut off as Joachim held one of his hands a his face , kissing him gently , while Fleur rested her head down and covered her eyes with her arm. He quickly leans up , resting his hands on Joachim’s chest as he moaned delicately while Joachim pulled Jean up by the waist. They slowly part their lips , whispering to each other , “God you’re such a prick.”
They scoff and chuckle a bit before Joachim speaks up , “I love you.”
“I love you too.” Fleur then barks just before they start kissing again , her tail wagging looking at the tent sheets.
They both turn to look , expecting Napoleon , when Jean gulps , “Josie?”
She takes off her hat , closing the tent doors , pointing to the both of them.
“You…Murat…Dad?!”
“Josie , I swear this-.” Jean began speaking to Josie when she stamped on her fathers foot.
“Fuck you dad for cheatin’ on ma , but thank fuck it’s Uncle Murat.”
“H-Huh?”
Josie quickly walks past Jean and picks up a package of fireworks , opening it with a razor as Joachim shrugs.
“Y’know , now that I think about it , the pieces were always there.”
“Josie , look , I’m sorry jus-.”
“I mean you always invite Murat when you can , you always rush to get off each other when someone enters a room and you do come home wearing different jumpers and coats.”
Joachim gasps , looking at Jean , “That’s where my denim jacket went , you said you gave it back.”
“I will…eventually.”
“So , how long?”
“6 inches”
Josie looks at her father horrified before saying quietly , “I meant how long has this been going for , I didn’t want to know my uncle’s dick size.”
Jean looks just as horrified as Josie as Joachim cackles.
“Nearly 2 years.”
“2 years , damn.”
“Please don’t tell Louise.”
“What do I get?”
“What do you want?”
“Raise my allowance by quadruple.”
“Double.”
“Triple.”
“Deal.”
Bite of my Bark
“So , what is Jean doing again?” Joachim asked , as he layed with Napoleon and Alexander on the field - Fleur now under the protection of Alexander.
“Gonna attempt to beat the world record of how fast you can herd sheep.”
“How and why?”
“Well , I let him borrow a pendant that gives you the ability to transfigure into any animal you desire - a dog in this case - and because that’s what you do when you got a big ass field and loads of time at hand to help the economy.”
“I’m back!”
Jean had come back up the hill , handing them all a bubble waffle each , sitting next to Joachim. The group was now all back again : Napoleon nomming down on the waffle as Alexander scooped up the ice cream first , Joachim sharing his fill with Jean as they leaned against each other.
It was sweet , a favourable moment between the 2 as the other 2 gods behind then watched on with a roll of their eyes.
“Funny to believe that it’s taken you , what , 160 years to become boyfriends?”
“Not boyfriends…not yet at least.”
“Pfft , you’re getting there.”
“Leon , leave them be.”
“Shut up , Sasha , you’re not the one making bets.”
“Bets?”
“Yea , I made a bet with Ney , said you’d show up to work on Monday with a hickey for 2,000 Abes.”
“2,000 ABES FOR A HICKEY?!”
“And you better start now , I want that money.”
Jean sighed , rolling his eyes as he tore off a bit of the waffle and ate it , a wing covering over Joachim’s side to give them some privacy while Napoleon smirked. Alexander shrugged , starting to eat the waffle now and handing some bits to Napoleon.
“Hey , so uh I suppose you know that I’m gonna be at one of the competitions , right?”
“Yea , yea I’ve heard.”
“Right , I was wondering if maybe you wanted to…go elsewhere , like a motel or your apartment?”
“Oh , Oh , uh sure?”
“Okay then…”
“Yeah…”
They both sat in silence for a second , holding hands as Napoleon looked on with a grin , he was getting his money. Joachim pulled Jean up , taking him over to a tent as he threw the rest of the waffle in the bin , he kissed and bit down on Jean’s neck. The centi - Jean - winced and whimpered a bit , placing his hand through Joachim’s curls as his hat fell onto the grass , taking small gasps when he could before Joachim let go , looking into his eyes and drawing a hand down Jean’s back.
“I’m sorry , I couldn’t help it , I love you.”
“Joach’ I-.”
He takes a quick gasp as Joachim goes back to sucking Jean’s neck. Holding Jean against one of the poles holding up the tent , letting go of him once more to start making out with him. Jean’s wings opening up with a swoosh , Jean throwing off his halo to grab Joachim’s collar while Joachim’s tail curls around Jean’s leg.
“Y-You’re a fucking menace.”
“You make me one.”
He lets go for a quick second - letting Jean breath - then he pushes him against the pole again to make out , the tent leaning to the side before-
Thud
The tent fell down , Joachim’s tail flicks as he gets out from under it.
“J-Jean?”
“I’m okay!”
Jean sits up , Joachim chuckling , holding his hand out and putting his hat back on while Jean stands up laughing.
“We can never just make out , Joachim , you’re gonna get us caught!”
The 2 turn a corner back to Alexander and Napoleon as another angel walks over to the tent.
“I don’t know mama , okay , apparently Napoléoné’s here with his stupid Russian boy-.”
She looks down at the tent , stamping her foot on the ground.
“MY FUCKING TENT , ARE YOU SERIOUS?!”
“Caroline , Caroline , what’s wrong?”
“I have a concert going on tonight and my tent has fallen , those stupid fucking tent setters.”
Sheep Bitch
“Alright , you know how the pendant works , hmm?”
“Press the front?”
“Oui , and to go back?”
“Press twice?”
“Mhm , go get ‘em tiger.”
Jean rolled his eyes with a smirk , placing the pendant over his neck as Alexander nods to him.
“And Joa-.”
“I’ll blend in , don’t worry.”
“I wasn’t gonna say that , I was gonna say , thank you.”
Jean smiles , hugging Joachim , making him step back as Napoleon glares at him and gestures for him to hug Jean back ; to which he does.
“For what?”
“Well , just for being here.”
“Aww.”
“SHUT UP , NAPOLEON.”
20 MINUTES LATER
“Come on , come on dad!” Josie yelled from the fence , watching her dad race through the fields with Joachim.
“Go on , Lannes , GO!”
It was tense , the movement , the persistent bleating of sheep and those non-stop shouts. It was a head ache to say the least , it was a migraine to say the most. Going from sheep to lamb , lamb to sheep , tiring but I just 2 minutes , he did it.
Joachim took of his hat - bewildered - when he felt a hand pull him away , the hand of a woman. The angelic figure of Caroline.
“Cari?”
“We need to talk.”
Caroline pulled Joachim into her newly fixed tent , closing his wings as she sat down on a table and Joachim leaned against her vanity.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
“What do you-.”
“Lannes , that’s what I mean.” Caroline scoffs , “Just because I haven’t seen or speaking to you for a year straight , it doesn’t mean we’re still married , and you are committing adultery.” She gives him a sarcastic smile before shoving him out the way and grabbing her mascara stick.
“Oh fuck off , Caroline , our marriage is as good as dead.”
“But it isn’t , and you know we can’t divorce , I’d get everything.”
“That rule is older than Alexander , I’m sure he could change it so it’s equal.”
“Are you forgetting he’s my brother’s boyfriend?” Joachim gives her an annoyed look , “He could just fire you or convince Alexander not to change the rule.”
“Austria whore lover.”
“Imp-ish wench.”
“Get out of my sight , and stay the fuck away from Monsieur Lannes.”
“Sure , sure , whatever.”
Joachim simply rolled his eyes and huffed , his flicking tail leaving the tent as he looked up at the sunset , walking back to the main grounds.
Lay down , Roll over - NSFW
It didn’t take too long to find Jean , still with Napoleon over by the cider tent as Fleur laid on the ground , her tail flicking from side to side as she attempted to sleep.
“Bleugh , oh this is disgusting!” Alexander said , handing the glass over to Napoleon who was laughing , “How do you drink that.”
“Well , when you think about it , it’s just aged apple juice.”
“Stop , you’re gonna make me sick.”
Jean rolled his eyes , playing with an empty glass , his wings fluttering at the breeze when he took off his halo.
“Hey , Napoleon?”
“Hmm?”
“You didn’t see Joachim leave , did you?”
“No , I did see him get dragged away by Caroline though.”
“Caro-.”
“Took me FOREVER to find you!”
Jean turned around to see Joachim , breathless , and holding onto his shoulder.
“Sorry , Jean , had a certain someone’s sister to deal with.”
“It’s fine , we’re just having some cider.”
“That’s probably a good idea , come on , I made a promise.”
Jean blushes a bit , standing up and taking Joachim’s hand , waving off Napoleon and Alexander.
“Oh , Jean ain’t gonna walk for a while.”
“Is Joachim that bad?”
“Mm , not as bad as you.”
Meanwhile , Joachim and Jean walk through the festival ground as it turns late , still holding each other’s hands. Joachim’s tail carefully wraps around Jean’s waist , making their way to an empty tent , clearly abandoned by its owners. Joachim rough yet guiding hand sat Jean down on a table , gently taking in his scent of musk and wax.
Jean holding his back with a soft grip , the 2 clearly embracing each other in the silence - one that Joachim was about to break.
“You know I love you right?”
“I love you too.”
Those 2 small whispers spoke libraries of love , Jean carefully setting his halo down with a glimmer while Joachim’s tail let go to rest on Jean’s hand. The lark’s wings closed shut and demon’s tail sat calmly against Jean , it was a sweet moment for the 2 , just a moment was all they wished for each other. Jean opened his dreary eyes , looking as Joachim’s nearly matted curls and letting out a giggle.
“You really don’t like brushing your hair do you?”
“I try my best , not my fault it’s so bloody long.”
“We could head onto my house , get cozy y’know?”
“Don’t sweat it , I don’t wanna ruin your “Oh so lovely bedsheets”.”
Jean just laughed , holding Joachim’s shoulders as the demon’s green eyes glowed against his scarred left , Jean had always loved that eye since they re-met. It was a dark mark and reminder of his past in Hell , but he was lucky at least someone could his face and kiss it without being disgusted.
“I want you.” Jean whispered into Joachim’s shoulder , his wings fluttering a bit , “I want you to fucking knot me.”
Joachim turned a deep scarlet , looking at Jean , “Do what?”
“Demon’s can knot others rig-.”
“Yea , we can , but why would…why?!”
“W-well I don’t know , just thought that you’d want to-.”
“Okay , never just do something because you’d think I’d want to , you’ll get yourself killed with that mindset.”
“Well then what do you wanna do?”
Jean looked up at Joachim before seeing one of his sneaky grins - he was in for a rough night. He sighed , taking off his halo and setting it down on the table before laying back and rolling his eyes with a smile.
“I know what you’re like , go on and have your fun.”
“You treat me too well~”
“I really do.”
Joachim quickly pulled off Jean’s boots and trousers , kissing his legs a bit before pulling him towards his mouth , making Jean yelp a bit , laughing. He black haired beauty then stood up and wrapped his angel’s legs around his waist , kissing the neck of the man. It was funny to think that over 100 years before this , the 2 would be at each others necks from tax fraud but now the literally were at their necks , biting and suckling at the soft skin while slowly stroking each other up and down. A tiny moan emerged from Jean’s mouth, opening his eyes to pull back and look at Joachim. The 2 spirits looked at each other for a few seconds before going back in for another kiss , and another , and another.
Halos and Tails
After their brief hook up session , Jean and Joachim laid down on the table , cuddled up against each other. Joachim’s tail traced soft circles on Jean’s naked thigh , kept in by the warmth of Jean’s wing that covered the delicate bodies of the 2 spirits.
“Jean?”
“Mm?”
“Do you remember how we re-met - afterlife I mean.”
“Yea , in that teenage party , why were you there?”
“Pfft , just saw it , my point is…why were you there?”
Jean remained silent , pulling on Joachim’s shoulder to bring him closer. This only made Joachim more curious , taking his jacket from a bench and wrapping it around Jean’s waist.
“Lannes…come on.”
“I was sent there to kill a demon , Napoleon didn’t know which specific demon like Fredrick or Francis he only knew that there was a demon.”
“Oh…and yet you didn’t kill me?”
“Well…no.”
Joachim looked down at Jean , running a hand through his hair.
“I owe you a lot for that Jean , but why would you spare me?”
“I wasn’t going to kill someone I had been fighting to see again.”
Joachim’s heart nearly sobbed upon hearing this , looking down at Jean with a surprised but loving look , his tail wagging excitedly before he hugged him tightly.
“God , I love you so much , you know that?”
“Joachim , you don’t have to say-.”
“But I do , you have no idea how much I do , I’d fucking kill for you.”
“That was so cheesy.”
Jean chuckled , sitting upright and picking his clothes , looking at his favourite demon every now and again. Joachim smiled softly , taking Jean’s chin close to his own before locking their lips together. The 2 spirits held each others faces before seeing a flashlight shine against the tent , making the both of them laugh as they hurried to get their clothes on before the flashlights could get any closer to the tent. They ran out the tent just as a pair of angelic children came running in , Joachim taking Jean with a pull of the arm just in time to see a firework display. An attraction of many coloured lights and the smell of distant smoke. Jean turned to face Joachim with a smile.
“Y’know , I’ve never kissed in front of a firework display before.”
“Would you like to?”
“…Yea…”
Jean gave a small smile in response to Joachim yanking him toward his chest and wrapping his arms around his waist. Jean placed his hands around his neck , stumbling a bit as he stood on his toe tips , kissing the gentle demon.
Epilogue
Joachim had returned home with Fleur now sat on his legs as he looked through his camera roll , the many festivities of the day captured beautifully with that other lark. Fleur let out a “bark” upon seeing Jean text Joachim , tapping it with her paw.
✤Jean✤ Hey Joachim , had great fun today , see you at work tomorrow?
Joachim thought for a second , looking down at his phone before texting back.
༺⚝Joachim⚝༺ Cya tomorrow