Archive of Our Own

I found a love for me
Darling, just dive right in and follow my lead
Well, I found a girl, beautiful and sweet
Oh, I never knew you were the someone waiting for me

"Stop it!" your five year old self screamed at your tormentor. Your first day of pre-school was not going well. Starting off your day by spilling your juice box all over your favorite shirt. The teacher, a messy haired woman named Ms. Hanji, then had to call your mother for a change of clothing, leaving you in the nurses office along with a little boy named Armin who was severely sick to his stomach. Unfortunately the chair that you had chosen to sit in was well in range of Armin, as you soon found out when he explosively vomited the remains of his breakfast all over the floor, surrounding chairs, and you. Ms. Hanji tried her best to clean you up, but the sickening smell was firmly stuck to your skin. Even after your mother came with fresh clothes, the aroma followed you around like a trail, causing the other children to tease you mercilessly. The last straw had came when you were preparing for naptime and a hulking boy named Reiner started loudly teasing you about the smell and kidnapped your beloved stuffed animal, teasing that he was saving the innocent toy from your smell. No matter how much you begged and pleaded, the bully wouldn't return your toy, reducing you to tears. That is, till an extremely short boy with extremely pale skin, narrowed steel-colored eyes, and a fierce scowl piped up.

"Oi, big mouth! Shut up! Some of us are trying to sleep!"

Reiner turned to face the smaller boy and smiled tauntingly. "Make me."

The stoic child seem to take this a challenge, rising neatly from his assigned sleeping mat and marched over towards the larger boy. One swift kick to the knee and a karate chop to the neck was all it took to fell the giant, Reiner falling unconsciously to the mat in a heap from the swift assault. Plucking the toy from his grasp, your savior offered your naptime companion back with a frown. "Here. Now stop blubbering."

You had started to thank him when he leaned over and sniffed at your hair. "You stink." Fat tears has already started rolling down your face when he realized his error, quickly rummaging through his pockets and producing a personal-sized pack of wipes which he flung at you. "Clean yourself up. You're filthy."

"Thank you." You managed to choke out through a lump filled throat. "What's your name."

"Levi," He threw over his shoulder as he walked back to his mat, "Now, go to sleep."

'Cause we were just kids when we fell in love
Not knowing what it was
I will not give you up this time
But darling, just kiss me slow
Your heart is all I own
And in your eyes you're holding mine

*Beep* *Beep*

"Hey, Brat! Wanna go for a ride?" Levi yelled from the comfort of his new pickup. Working 40 hours a week all summer long since school let out, he had scrimped and saved his new paychecks into his bank account until he could afford the down payment on this beat-up old pickup. Sure it was scratched, dented, and slightly rusted at first but a little scrubbing, paint, and a creative mind couldn't fix. Compared to the state it was in previously, the truck looked showroom new. 

The slamming of the front door preceded your harried arrival. Levi watched you sprint down the sidewalk, (h/c) hair fanning messily in the wind, one bare shoulder exposed from where you shirt had slipped down in your rush, purse slapping nosily against your long legs till you finally hopped into the truck, closing the door with a loud slam that made him wince in pain on all the time he spent repairing the paint.

All was forgiven when you turned towards him with that beaming smile that made his heart skip, excitably asking "Where are we going?" Levi couldn't help the small smile that crept up. You were everything he despised. Chaotic. Irresponsible. Always charging off on your latest adventure with never a care or worry about how it would turn out. But for some reason, he couldn't care less. He loved you completely. 

"Wherever you want." He shrugged. Secretly delighting in the barrage of joyous laughter when he accelerated away from the curb when you named your destination. 

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark
With you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass
Listening to our favorite song
When you said you looked a mess
I whispered underneath my breath
But you heard it,
Darling, you look perfect tonight

"Oh, h***" Levi muttered, flipping the knot of his favorite ascot around for the fifth time. He'd fixed this thing every day for years but he just couldn't get tie it correctly today. His tuxedoed reflection glared back at him from the mirror. He had been planning for weeks since you said you were coming home. The downstairs living room was darkened appropriately and filled with candles and he had spent all morning cooking your favorite dish, (favorite meal).  

Deep voiced laughter echoed from his phone placed on the dresser. "Calm down, Levi. She's not due back for a few hours yet. You have plenty of time."

He glanced down to the framed picture beside the phone of you and him sitting side by side at the beach. Taking the summer before you left for college in another country, you had demanded that he accompany you to the beach where he had quickly roasted a painful red sunburn. The trip hadn't been all bad though. Guilty over his pain at your demand, you had treated him like a prince the remaining portion of vacation. Cooking, cleaning, doing whatever his sarcastic little heart wanted with a smile. In a few weeks after that, you left to start your new life without him. Leaving an empty void in his life that nothing could fill. Sure you had kept in contact over the next four years with phone calls, video chats, emails, and the like but nothing could replace the tingly feeling of your skin touching his, or the ticklish sensation of your breath when he leaned in to kiss you. Four years you had been gone but now you were coming home for good.

Levi sighed harshly while running a hand through his charcoal-colored hair, " I just want everything to be perfect, Erwin. Is that so f****** wrong"

His blonde haired friend chuckled on the other end of the call. "No, it's not. You really love her, don't you?"

Levi's mouth opened and closed as he searched for the words that would describe his feelings for you. Finally settling on "I can't live without her." 

While he was upstairs, he failed to notice the soft bumping sounds of you struggling to carry your bulky luggage and open the door at the same time. Inserting a well placed foot between the door, you bumped the door with your bum to open it and heaved the luggage inside. It took a moment for you to notice the darkened interior and the unlit candles spread across every surface. The delicious aroma of (favorite dish) was even filtering through the air, a most welcome surprise that made your stomach growl in hunger, the brief meal you consumed before boarding the plane was long gone now. Apparently, Levi was planning a dinner for your return but you had wanted to surprise him with a earlier flight, effectively disrupting his plans, the only problem being he was no where in sight. Now, where was your favorite grumpy midget?

Searching through the bottom floor of his apartment, you were on the way upstairs when a long string of colorful curses flared from his bedroom. Curiosity piqued, you cautiously sneaked up the stairs and peeped around the corner. The sight before you made you gasp. Levi was so handsome. All dressed up in a perfectly pressed tuxedo, a single red rose in his lapel and his silky cravat perfectly knotted as his pale neck. What really made you gasp in shock was the small black velvet box he was holding in his thin hands. When he heard you, his face snapped towards the door and steel-colored eyes wide and bulging out of their sockets comically. 

"Oh, s***. You're not supposed to be home yet! F***!" He stammered, trying to hide the small box but he realized you had already seen it.

"Levi? Levi! What's happening? Is (y/n) th-" Erwin's inquiry was quickly cut off by Levi smashing the end call button. 

He took a deep breath before striding forward determinedly. Your vision blurred with happy tears when he dropped to one knee before you. he awkwardly glanced at the box in his hand before speaking, the other hand running briskly through his neatly groomed charcoal hair in agitation, "I know how much you love all this romantic s***, so I had this big surprise dinner all planned out but I guess that's gone all to f***. Will you stop that d*** laughing!" Your giggling laugh at his muttered statements did nothing but increase his nervousness. "Aw, h***! (y/n), will you marry- oof!" The force of your tackling hug knocking Levi down on his back as you peppered his face with kisses. Your enthusiastic "yes" the only command he needed to slip the glimmering golden ring on your finger.

Well, I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know
She shares my dreams, I hope that someday I'll share her home
I found a love to carry more than just my secrets
To carry love, to carry children of our own 

"Hey, brat. How about this one?" Levi showed you his phone. The tiny screen lit up with images of a small ranch style house with a beautiful fenced in backyard. You peered at it quickly but the pull just wasn't there. It wasn't the right house.

"It's nice but it's not the right one." You said as your gaze returned to the classified ads of newspaper spread out before you. 

He eyed you skeptically. The search for a new home had really intensified the last 3 months when the unexpected surprise of learning you were pregnant a few weeks after a very thrilling anniversary surfaced. Levi's small apartment were you had cozily spent the first two years of your marriage together was no longer big enough for the soon to be three of you. Looking for a new home that would fit your needs and finding one that both of you could actually agree on was two different matters altogether. A cute little A-frame that you adored was something that Levi hated, declaring the irregular angles of the house impossible to clean. A squat little federal style with pretty little acre backyard appealed to him but you hated it, saying that the house had no personality. Now with the clock ticking down, the search was growing more intense, causing the two of you to have many sleepless nights. 

Levi clicked his tongue. "Picky brat, we have to find something soon or," He reached out to pat the just barely noticeable curve of your belly. A tender smile allowing itself to appear on his face at thought of the little one growing inside you would soon appear. "Or this little one is going to be helping us soon."

You had been about to speak when a particular listing caught your eye on the paper. "Hey, Levi! Look at this one! It says it's got (description of favorite house). Perfectfor a growing family!" Levi wound his arm around your shoulders and pulled the house's information up on his phone while you watched. Quickly browsing through the images of the house and yard, you both agreed that this one was the most promising property so far and messaged the realtor for more information.

We are still kids but we're so in love
Fighting against all odds
I know we'll be alright this time
Darling, just hold my hand
Be my girl, I'll be your man
I see my future in your eyes

Death. That phantomesque cold hand was tightly gripping your spine, spreading shivering waves of dread across your skin. In your ears, the snake-like hissing of the ventilator coincided with sluggish beeping of the heart monitor, the remains of the life you loved so much slowly ticking away like grains of sand. Tears ran freely down your cheeks while you held Levi's uninjured cold hand. His skin already so cold like ice was filtering through his veins instead of blood. The normally pale shade of his skin was ghastly white, contrasting sharply with the violet bruises that littered his chest and neck. A long bloody slash shredded the flesh on the right side of his face while the left side was untouched, producing a disturbing yin-yang effect like someone had split his face in half. One side before, the other after. His right arm was severely mangled as well, the shattered bones required steel pins to piece together what had broken. All painful, but the surface injuries would heal with time, the most dangerous items lay beneath his abused skin. The surgeons had barely stopped his internal bleeding before trying to patch his battered organs into something that resembled their previously working function.

When the call notifying you of Levi's injured state, you were in shock. Levi was severely injured in a car wreck on the freeway and you were presence was immediately requested the hospital. This couldn't be happening. Levi was hurt? Impossible. Nothing could bring down Levi. The irritable man had survived an abusive home as a child, working 50-60 hours a week on a job he hated for eight years, taking care of a newborn baby while you worked and scrubbed the house sparkling in his spare time. Surely a man this resilient couldn't be felled by a mere car accident, right?

When you arrived, you could hardly believe the sight before your eyes. Levi's strong figure was dreadfully battered, the doctor's said that if he made it through the night, it would be a living miracle. So you sat and waited. Gently stroking his hand or arm, whispering how scared you were when the phone call came and how you were sure that he would be just fine. Levi had proved so many people wrong about himself in the past, this one time should be easy-peasy. 

The sudden strong gripping of his hand surprised you, sending a smile spreading across your face. "Come on Levi! Open your eyes!" you urged him. The lid of his left eye fluttered on command before lifting, revealing a sickly pale grey eye blankly staring at your face. You smiled so hard that your cheeks physically hurt but you didn't care, Levi was winning the fight against his injuries. "Hey, baby." you whispered, brushing back the edges of his ebony hair that fell in his face with the tips of your fingers. "It took you long enough."

The glassy eye never wavered, riveted on your face and sent a prickle of unease through you. Very faintly, his thin lips began moving. "So-sorry. I lo-ve y-you." When the last word stumbled from his lips, his eye closed, the hand you had cradled against yours fell limp to the bed. The heart monitor steady toneless drone echoing over your screams, "Levi, No! You can't leave me alone to raise your son! Get your ass up! I can't do it by myself, I need you! I need you, damnit!"

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song
When I saw you in that dress, looking so beautiful
I don't deserve this, darling, you look perfect tonight

The sky was thick with smoky grey clouds that erupted into a light drizzling rain. Puddles formed on the path leading up to a deserted graveyard filled with stones both broken and still whole. A lone little figure trudged faithfully through the rain, a purple umbrella held in one hand while the other clutches a bouquet of white roses to her raincoat-clad chest. She stopped before a rounded tombstone, half cracked down the center and the sculpted writing across the front of the stone was nearly obscured by moss. "Levi Ackerman, beloved husband and father."

The figure with the umbrella slowly laid the roses across the bottom of the stone. Head bowed in thought before a voice quavering with age filled the air. "Hello, Levi Darling, It's been a while," You said, "I miss you so much, I could really have used your strength these past few months. But (son's name) is doing really well. You would be so proud, he's helped me so much. Always driving me to treatments, keeping my house in shape. I know it's been hard on him, losing so much time with his kids but he's always there when I need him. Just like you were." You sighed. A sudden gust of wind blew sharply, sending a wave of rain under the umbrella you held, soaking your face and head. Reaching up, you pulled the sodden scarf off your head, revealing a hairless surface speckled with age spots and worn smooth by endless rounds of chemo. "Well, that did a lot of good," You muttered, stuffing the scrap of fabric into your jacket pocket. A smile crept onto your face when a faint memory of Levi playfully braiding your hair one night. He would never admit it, but you could tell by his actions that he loved your hair, the texture, the color, the way his face would subtly light up when you asked him to massage your head. "Me and you would have a good laugh about this," You say wryly while rubbing your head, "My head is a smooth as Conny's was when we were in high school. No more long hair for you to twine your fingers through."

Your amused chuckled quickly turned into a painful hacking that spread through your lungs. Warm clogs of liquid and matter edged up your throat. Scarlet blood bubbled over your lips as you coughed onto the marshy grass. Finally, a dark blood clot as wide as three fingers escaped your lungs and onto the grass. "I-I'm alright," you wheezed, slumping down next to the stone as weakness swirled your head, sending your vision topsy-turvy. "The doctor's say this time there's nothing left to try. (Son's name) thinks we should try something else, maybe another clinic in a different state or something. But Levi, I'm old. I'm tired. I'm tired of fighting, of the pain, the wondering if I'm going to make it this time or if it's all really worth it for a few more years." Your fingers lightly trace over his name etched into the stone. "I hate to leave (son's name) and the kids but at least I'd get to see you again," You giggled softly, eyes slowly slipping closed as you leaned heavier against the stone, "I bet you won't recognize me now, I'm not pretty anymore."

"What the h*** you talking about brat? You look f****** perfect!"

"Levi?" You're eyes shot open wide in surprise. Standing before you in the grass stood Levi, dressed once again in the tuxedo that he proposed to you in and wore again when you were married. He hadn't aged a day, still eternally young and handsome as the day he left. He extended one hand out to you, "Now get up off that s***** ground, you're getting all filthy!" 

Your face was all smiles and tears as you accepted his hand and he pulled you up into his arms for a passionate kiss. Over and over you told him how much you missed him, his touch, his voice, his love. His quickly answered reply of he knew, he'd missed you just as much. His lips moved to tenderly kiss away the tears freely falling from your cheeks. 

"It's okay. You look perfect. You've always been perfect to me." His hand tugs on your's, silently urging you to follow him into the glorious cloud of light at his back. "Now, come on. We've got a lot of catching up to do."