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Chapter Text

Tony tangled her hand into her hair as she sat in her room a little basinet sat in the corner of the room with a sleeping child in it. She watched some of the residents who welcomed her as one of their own. She was thankful that Bilbo allowed her to come into his home to try and have this child and help her where he could. She was thankful for everything that Bilbo had ever done to keep her and her child happy.  

She took a shaky breath as she tore her eyes from the site of the hobbits going about their business. She looked back at her child with a sad gaze. She knew who her child’s father was, but sadly he would never know because he had no idea that she was even pregnant with his child. She swallowed the lump in her throat, nothing would change the fact that the men she had grown to care for had been too busy to notice anything was going on with her.

She scoffed as she moved away from the window and towards the table that Bilbo put comfortably into her room with paper on it if she wished to write. She ran her hand through her hair letting out a soft breath. She knew that she would have to thank Bilbo for everything that he had ever done for her since they got to The Shire. 

She slowly sat down at the table and fingered the papers softly. Perhaps her child deserved to know the story of how they came to be and how their parents had gotten together. A love story, but also a loss story. She let out a soft breath as she closed her eyes. She carefully picked up a quill taking a soft breath as she dipped it into the inkwell. She knew that this wasn’t going to be an easy story to write, but it was something that she needed to do. 

Chapter Text

The story that I’m about to tell is a long one. Something that some people would say is fake or a fairytale. Something that you would think too odd to be real. But I do promise you that it is fully real. A story of friendship, romance, and loss. A story of how I met your father and how much of a kind man he was even though it wasn’t always seen.  But I should say how this all started. It would be something unbelievable. 

-July 20, 2014-

Tony went through the photos that she had in her home. She was throwing pictures away of a man and her together. He had left her for someone else and it made her upset even more that he had knocked her up instead of being with Tony who he said he loved. He had given the ring to the girl that he had knocked up being a proper man, but he couldn’t be a proper man and tell Tony that he was cheating on her. 

Tony wiped her tears from her green eyes. She winced, he had left a bruise on her cheek from when he had struck her due to his anger. She had refused to allow herself to cry and she saw it as a weakness. She didn’t want to see herself as weak as he had made her. She picked up the bag and decided to throw out the bag into the garbage that would be going out that night. She walked out the door dressed in a pair of black pants, black boots, and a blue long-sleeved shirt with bell sleeves. Her light reddish-brown hair was tied back into a braid. She walked down the stairs of her apartment building and went to the back. She threw the trash into the garbage bin that was there for the tenants to use. She let out a soft sigh as she closed it. This was too much of a mess that she was going to deal with.  

She closed her eyes and began to walk away from it. She wouldn’t allow her mind to think about her ex-boyfriend and how he broke up with her. Sure she wasn’t like a model like a girl that he was with now and she certainly didn’t think that she was beautiful even though her friends had told her she was. She ran her hand over her face. She needed to get out of there and fast. She began to walk away from her apartment complex and decided to go where she normally went and that was to walk in the woods that was close to the apartment complex. 

She crossed her arms as she walked into the woods slowly. She couldn’t believe that she had allowed such a man in her life. Her best friends Rosalie and Annalyse had told her that he was bad news at the start. She didn’t listen to them about this and now she had her heart broken and there was no way that she would be able to repair it at the moment. She wished that she had listened to her friends. But he was so charming that he charmed the pants right off of her only to destroy everything that she held onto. 

As she continued to walk she realized that something was wrong. She didn’t know these woods. These were not the woods that she was walking in before. Where the hell was she? “What the hell.” She whispered to herself. “I need to get out of here. There is no way this is my wooded area.” She looked around her brows pinched together in confusion. She didn’t like the idea that she didn’t know where she was. 

It was getting colder and darker out which told her that night was not that far away from taking the land. She was becoming hungry and she didn’t have any food. She turned sharply when she heard someone arguing. She poked her head up over the bush that she was near. Her green eyes widened with what she saw. Two men with long hair. One had dark hair that was messier than his friend who had golden blond hair. 

“I am not childish Fee.” The man with dark hair said to his friend trying to defend himself from what his friend had said he had done. 

“Oh, Kee you are. You lost the map and we need to get there soon. Thorin will not be pleased if we are late for something this important.” His golden blond-haired friend said, shaking his head in distaste. 

“You are childish. You are the one that had the map last, not me.” The man said, pouting at the golden-haired man. 

Tony could not believe that these two were fighting about a map like this. Two men didn’t know that she was listening. She gasped when she saw the golden blond-haired one turn. 

Well, that did it the two men ended up turning around and seeing her standing there. They took in her appearance and saw that she had a bruise on one of her eyes which they knew that she must have gotten into some kind of scuffle with someone or something. But the matter was how much this woman had heard and who she was. 

“Who are you?” The golden blond-haired one asked her, crossing his arms. He was not pleased that this young woman was spying on them. 

Tony bit her lip. Well, this was a big problem that she had landed herself in. She was hoping that they wouldn’t have looked her way when she gasped, but there was no way that she was going to get out of trouble like this. “Tony.”

The two men looked at one another confused. What kind of name was Tony? It wasn’t a name for a girl. 

The dark-haired one smiled as he looked back at her. “Kili and this is my brother Fili. At your service Lady Tony.” He said bowing to her.

Tony’s eyes widened. She was not expecting the dark-haired one, who now revealed himself as Kili to be so polite. His brother Fili didn’t seem to like her that much just by the way that he was looking at her. His arms crossed with a stern look on his face. 

Fili was not happy to see a woman out and listening in on their conversation. “Why were you listening in on our conversation?” He demanded looking her directly in her green eyes. Green clashing against his blue one. 

Tony looked down at the wooded ground. “It wasn’t my fault.” She said softly, as she put her hands in her pockets. She looked up at them. “You both were speaking loudly. Anyone would have heard you talking about what you were talking about.” She removed her hands from her pockets and crossed her arms. “So you can’t blame me for hearing what the two of you were talking about.” She shook her head. 

Fili’s blue eyes darkened. He wasn’t happy that she was acting this way. He didn’t even want her to be right there with them so close to starting their quest. There was no way that he was going to allow this woman to go with them and have to explain to their Uncle Thorin why she was there.

Kili tilted his head to the side. “What is a pretty lass like yourself doing out here all alone?” He asked curiously. Usually, women had someone with them and Tony looked like she was all by herself. He wasn’t about to allow her to wander off all alone. It wouldn’t make him feel right if she was all alone.

“I got lost. I was walking through the woods and I don’t know where I am.” She said softly. She rubbed her arm. She saw Fili’s look in anger. “It wasn’t like I was wanting to get lost.” She looked away from his eyes feeling that it was too much like how her ex would look at her in anger. She didn’t want to be hit again for something that she didn’t do.

Fili rolled his eyes and scoffed. He knew that Thorin would not approve of them allowing a woman to be on her own, but she was going to be a distraction. One that neither he nor his brother could afford. 

Kili smiled at her. “Come with us,” Kili said kindly not thinking of how his uncle would feel about having a woman there. 

Fili looked at his brother. “What?” He demanded. He didn’t know what the heck Kili was thinking, but a woman like the one who stood before them was going to be an easy distraction for everyone who was going to be there.

Tony’s eyes went wide and her green eyes locked with Kili’s brown ones. She was searching to see if he meant the truth. 

“Kili we can’t take her.” Fili hissed at his brother. 

Kili looked at his brother. “She is alone brother. We can’t leave her here to starve, Fee.” Kili said, locking his brown eyes with his brother’s blue ones. He couldn’t believe that Fili was being a pain about it. 

“We are not going to bring her with us. She will be a distraction to the rest of us. Uncle will not be pleased with the choice of you bringing her.” Fili said, throwing his hands up in the air. He wasn’t going to argue with his little brother, but bringing this woman with them someone that they didn’t know was dangerous and Kili knew it. 

“Fee she is defenseless,” Kili told his brother. 

Tony let out a soft sigh. “Look if you don’t want to help me that is fine.” She told them. She didn’t want to hear two brothers fighting in front of her. 

Kili looked at her in surprise. He hadn’t expected her to say that. He wanted her to go with them no matter what Fili thought. “No, you are coming with us.” He looked at Fil. “She has to come with us. She’ll be safe in the Shire.”

Fili’s knuckles began to turn white. His hands were that tight. He didn’t want Tony to come with them. 

“Fee she has no food.” Kili pressed his older brother.

Fili looked over at Tony with a scrutinizing gaze. He was taking in how she looked at that moment. He could tell right away that she didn’t have any food on her. The way that she was dressed was something that he was not used to seeing. A woman dressed in black pants, boots, and a blue top. The top didn’t do her much justice. It made him want to look at her upper body with a lustful gaze, but he couldn’t allow himself to look at her like that. She was, after all, deterring them from their quest to the Shire. He let out a sigh. He told Kili in a harsh language that Tony didn’t understand. 

Kili smiled and looked at Tony. “You are coming with us.” 

Tony looked at him in surprise. Fili had agreed to allow her to go with them. She thought that he was going to fight more with Kili on this, but she was very wrong. 

“Come on, we can't be late,” Kili said, grabbing onto her arm. 

She pulled her arm away from Kili and her eyes were wide. She didn’t want him touching her. She was going to have a hard time trusting these two men, but she was hungry and needed food. 

Kili looked at her in confusion. He wasn’t sure why she had pulled her arm from him. He saw something in her green eyes. Something that he had never seen in a woman’s eye before. 

“I rather if you didn’t do that.” She said softly rubbing her arm. “I will follow.” She didn’t want to admit that she didn’t want Kili or Fili touching her due to what had happened to her before. 

Kili didn’t press the matter and nodded his head. “Shall we Fee?” Kili asked, looking at his brother with an impish smile.

Fili just nodded his head. He didn’t say a word before he began to walk towards the Shire.

Kili and Tony were in tow behind him. Keeping up with the golden blond dwarf was easy enough for the two of them. 

Chapter Text

Tony bit her lip as she traveled with the two brothers. Her hands stuffed shyly into her pockets as she tried her best to keep up with the strides of the two dwarves walking ahead of her. Her head lowered as she heard the two of them talking back and forth about what was to be done. But she had a feeling that Kili wouldn’t be one to allow her to fend on her own. She followed the two of them up a winding path leading up to a hobbit hole. She bit her lip as she heard two loud knocks from Fili. 

The door slowly opened revealing a sandy-haired hobbit who groaned seeing the three of them standing there. He looked rather confused about what was going on. 

“Fili.”

“And Kili.”

“At your service.” The two of them said in unison, bowing their heads in greeting.

“You must be Mr. Boggins,” Kili said with a large cheeky smile.

“Nope, you can’t come in, you’ve come to the wrong house,” Bilbo said, trying to close the door.

Kili stopped the door with his foot. “What? Has it been canceled?”

“No one told us,” Fili said his brows furrowed together in concern. 

“Can--? No--nothing’s been canceled.” Bilbo said, shaking his head. 

“Well, that’s a relief,” Kili said as they pushed into his home.

Tony let out a breath as she shyly came to the entrance of the door as Kili and Fili unloaded their things onto Bilbo.

“Careful with these, I just had ‘em sharpened,” Fili warned the sandy-haired hobbit.

“It’s nice, this place. D’you you do it yourself?” Kili questioned as he scraped the mud off his boots on the edge of a chest that was nearby. 

“Ah, no, it’s been in the family for years. That’s my mother’s glory box, can you please not do that?!” Bilbo pleaded for the younger dwarf to stop.

“Fili, Kili, come on, give us a hand.” Dwalin hollered for the two younger dwarves.

“Mister Dwalin,” Kili said as he put his hand on Dwalin’s shoulder. 

Bilbo let out a soft groan as he noticed the young woman standing there looking rather uncomfortable. 

The dwarves laughed as they began their work.

“Let’s shove this in the hallway, otherwise we’ll never get everyone in,” Balin said, looking at the others. 

The dwarves prepared to shift Bilbo’s furniture around to create a better place for everyone to meet up. 

“Ev--everyone? How many more are there?” Bilbo questioned rather flabbergasted about the whole thing. 

“Where do you want this?” Kili questioned Dwalin and Balin.

The doorbell suddenly rang very hard and longer than before. 

Bilbo walked past the young woman, towards the door, dumping all the swords and other equipment that was in his arms.

Tony backed away to avoid getting cut from any of the weapons that were dropped.

“Oh no. No, no! There’s nobody home. Go away, and bother somebody else. There are far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If- if- If this is some clotterd’s idea of a joke, haha, I can only say, it is in very poor taste.” Bilbo opened the door, and an entire heap of dwarves, eight in total, fell in. 

All struggling to get up to their feet, grumbling and yelling at one another. 

Gandalf stood behind them as the dwarves continued to get up to their feet. 

“Gandalf,” Bilbo said letting out a soft breath. He looked at the young woman and saw the worried gaze on her face. “I’m sorry…” He said softly, giving her a small weak smile. 

Tony looked up shyly, biting her lower lip softly. “It’s not your fault, Mr…”

“Baggins, Miss…”

“Tonya.” She said softly, giving her real name to the sandy-haired hobbit. 

Gandalf came into the room, his gray brows furrowing seeing Tony standing there. “Ah… who might you be?”

Tony cleared her throat shyly. “Just a lost person who has no idea of what is going on, or where I am.” She admitted softly. 

“You do not look like you’re from around here.”

“And where would here be exactly?” She questioned her brown brow slowly rising in confusion. 

“The Shire.”

Tony blinked a few times in confusion. “Shire? There is no such thing.” She said, shaking her head lightly. 

“Yes, it’s real, you in it,” Gandalf said, looking at her, his brow quirking a bit as he looked at the young woman. He slowly reached out, touching her, and could feel magic swirling around her. He jerked his hand away before going deep in thought. “You aren’t from around here. Not even of this world.”

Tony swallowed the lump in her throat. “Wait what?” 

Gandalf noticed the bruise that was on her cheek and his brows furrowed even more. “Who came across you…”

“Fili and Kili…” She said softly. 

Gandalf nodded his head in understanding knowing that the young woman wasn’t all that comfortable. “I believe that you’re here for a reason.”

Tony looked at Gandalf a bit baffled. “What reason would that be?” She questioned crossing her arms nervously.

“I do not know. But it is something that I want to find out.” Gandalf said, patting her shoulder lightly in a comforting way.

Tony swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded her head slowly. 

“Now… just rest, get something to drink, and eat.” He said, patting her shoulder again before slowly walking away from her.

Tony took a soft breath and rubbed her face lightly, wincing a little bit as her hand hit the bruise on her cheek. She had a sinking feeling inside of her chest. She knew where she was, but she honestly didn’t want to believe it. “I can’t be in Middle Earth? Can I?” She whispered to herself rather confused. “How…” 

There was just no way that she was in Middle Earth. She couldn’t be here before the time of the Lord of the Rings. She wouldn’t be able to offer anyone any sort of help. She wasn’t a warrior. Just some girl now lost in this world and having no way back home. 

Chapter Text

Chapter 3

Tony took a soft breath as she listened to Bilbo complain about the dwarves in his home. Honestly, she couldn't blame him for being so flustered. She would do the same if she was in the same boat as he was at that moment.

"Those are my plates! Excuse me! Not my wine. Put that back. Put that back! Not the jam, please! ...Excuse me." Bilbo said, trying to get the dwarves to stop what they were doing.

Bombur came out of the pantry with three entire wheels of cheese in his arms.

Bilbo's eyes went wide seeing that much cheese in his arms. "Excuse me. A tad excessive, isn't it? Have you got a cheese knife?"

"Cheese knife? He eats it by the block." The hat-wearing dwarf said looking at Bilbo with a simple shrug of his shoulders.

Oin and Gloin walked through the hall carrying chairs from one of Bilbo's rooms.

"No, no, that's Grandpa Mungo's chair! No, I'm sorry, you'll have to take it back, please. Take it back...It's antique, not for sitting on! Thank you! That's a book, not a coaster. Put that map down, thank you."

"I cannot hear what you're saying!" Oin shouted as he continued to carry the chair he had.

Tony let out a soft breath. "I'm sorry about this Mr. Baggins." She said softly as she continued to watch the dwarves continue to bring out all of Bilbo's food and furniture into the dining room.

Bilbo let out a breath and turned his attention to the younger woman, seeing how nervous she looked standing there in the mix of everything that was happening.

Dori approached Gandalf with a tray with some tea that was upon it. "Excuse me, Mr. Gandalf, can I tempt you with a nice cup of chamomile tea?"

"Oh, no thank you, Dori. A little red wine for me, I think." Gandalf said, walking towards the exit. "Perhaps you can offer our lady here some tea."

Dori turned his head seeing the young woman standing there nervously. "Oh Mahal. Come, my dear, have a seat." Dori said, leading her to a seat and having her sit down in it. "Here, have a nice cup of chamomile tea that will warm your bones." He put a mug in front of her.

Tony looked up shyly. "Oh… thank you." She said softly.

Dori smiled and patted her shoulder lightly as he walked away from her going to go and get Gandalf some red wine like he had asked.

Tony took a soft shaky breath knowing that there was just no way that she would be able to fit in with everyone. She already felt uncomfortable with the whole thing of being in this world that she thought was fantasy, which made her heart ache knowing what she had read in the book of J.R.R. Tolkien and the movies that she had watched by Peter Jackson. She ran her hand through her red-brown hair, closing her green eyes in worry. How was she to adjust to this world? And what was the reasoning behind the whole thing of her being here? She looked out into the hallway where Gandalf was busy counting dwarves on his fingers making sure that everyone was there.

"Fili, Kili, Oin, Gloin, Dwalin, Balin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Dori, Nori...Ori." Gandalf muttered to himself as he continued to count.

Bilbo wrestled a bowl of tomatoes away from Nori.

Bifur, who had an ax in his head, approached Gandalf and talked to him in Khuzdul and with body motions.

"Yes, you're quite right, Bifur. We appear to be one dwarf short." Gandalf said, looking around.

"He is late, is all. He traveled North to a meeting of our kin. He will come." Dwalin said, leaning against the wall and looking at the gray wizard.

"Mr. Gandalf? Dori said as he came up to the Wizard.

"Hmmm?" Gandalf said as he turned to the gray-haired dwarf.

"A little glass of red wine, as requested. It's, eh, got a fruity bouquet." He said as he handed the tiny cup of wine to him.

"Ah, Cheers." Gandalf drank from the tiny cup of wine, and then looked sadly at it, wanting a wee bit more of it. "Mm."

AUJAUJ

The dwarves sat in Bilbo's dining room with Tony and Gandalf. They were having a grand feast with all of his food. They were quite rude and messy about the whole thing.

Bofur threw some food to his brother, Bombur. "Bombur, catch!"

Bombur caught the food in his mouth, and everyone cheered.

Everyone began to throw food around causing Bilbo to walk away in disgust.

Tony backed away from the table as food flew in front of her face. She wrinkled her nose in distaste. She didn't understand how someone could be that way.

Fili walked on top of the table, carrying several cups of ale and knocking food aside that was in his way. "Who wants an ale? There you go."

"Let him have another drink!" Dwalin shouted at the oldest crowned prince of Erebor.

"Here you go." Fili said, handing it to Dwalin.

Dwalin poured his ale into Oin's hearing trumpet.

Oin sputtered in anger which caused all the dwarves to laugh. Oin put his hearing trumpet to his mouth and blew the ale out of it, making it squeal.

"On the count of three!" Bofur shouted.

"One!...Two!" One of them counted down.

The dwarves suddenly went silent and began drinking their ale together. They were incredibly messy, as ale fell all over their faces and ran down their beards. When finished drinking, they began burping, the third youngest Ori, let out the loudest burp.

The dwarves laughed.

Bilbo looked away disgusted with how they were being guests in his home.

Tony slowly moved away shaking her hand that had gotten covered in ale from the dwarf that was sitting next to her which was Kili. She shook her head and walked to where Bilbo was.

Bilbo noticed that she was shaking her hand out trying to get the ale off her hand. Bilbo turned and grabbed a free towel and handed it to her. "Here."

Tony looked over at Bilbo with a thankful look on her face. "Thank you." She said softly as she wiped her hand on the towel.

Bilbo nodded his head politely, thankful that one of his guests had the common courtesy to be polite.

Chapter Text

Chapter 4

The meal had finished and the dwarves had left the table and began to walk around.

Bilbo grabbed a doily back from Nori frustrated with how they were acting. “Excuse me, that is a doily, not a dishcloth!”

“But it’s full of holes!” Bofur said, looking at Bilbo, his brows furrowed, wondering why he had kept something full of holes. 

“It’s supposed to look like that, it’s crochet.”

“Oh, and a wonderful game it is too, if you got the balls for it.”

“Bebother and confusticate these dwarves!” Bilbo said as he put the doily down in frustration. 

Tony looked down, pursing her lips together rather concerned for the hobbit and how he was reacting. Honestly, she couldn’t blame him for how he was reacting to the whole thing. Granted the dwarves meant well, but this was insane. They were wandering around like there was nothing that would keep them busy. She shifted slightly looking down, biting her lower lip softly. 

“My dear Bilbo, what on earth is the matter?” Gandalf said coming up to the frustrated hobbit. 

“What’s the matter? I’m surrounded by dwarves. What are they doing here?” Bilbo said, looking up at Gandalf with an accusing look. He couldn’t believe that Gandalf had led them all here to his home, causing a major uproar in his home. He was sure that he would be the talk of the Shire if things didn’t settle down soon. 

“Oh, they’re quite a merry gathering, once you get used to them.” Gandalf pointed out that there was nothing wrong. 

Nori had a chain of sausages over his shoulder, and Bofur grabbed them from him. They played tug-of-war with the sausages. 

“I don’t want to get used to them. The state of my kitchen! There’s mud trod into the carpet, they’ve pi-pillaged the pantry. I’m not even going to tell you what they’ve done in the bathroom; they’ve all but destroyed the plumbing. I don’t understand what they’re doing in my house!”

“Excuse me. I’m sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate?” Ori said shyly, approaching the angered hobbit.

“Here you go, Ori, give it to me.” Fili came up to Ori taking the plate from the dwarf and threw it at his brother, who threw it behind his back to Bifur who was standing at the sink.

Bifur caught it behind his back without even looking. 

Fili, Kili, and the other dwarves began to throw plates, bowls, and utensils to each other, eventually throwing them in the sink to be washed. As the dishware flew through the air, Gandalf ducked to avoid getting hit by any of it. 

“Oh!”

Tony pushed herself up against the wall to try and keep herself out of the way of the flying dishware.

“Excuse me, that’s my mother’s West Farthing crockery, it’s over a hundred years old!” Bilbo said, rushing forward.

Tony took a soft breath and pinched the bridge of her nose. Honestly, she couldn’t blame Bilbo for being this frustrated. Expensive dishware was always to be a family heirloom and honestly, she had her own back at home that was from her grandmother that was passed down from her mother who had it for a while. 

The dwarves at the table began rhythmically drumming on the table with utensils and their fists.

“And can-can you not do that? You’ll blunt them!”

“Ooh, d’hear that, lads? He says we’ll blunt the knives.” Bofur said, looking over at the crew that was messing with the utensils. 

Kili began to sing and the others joined in with him as they continued to throw dishware. 

“Blunt the knives, bend the forks

Smash the bottles and burn the corks

Chip the glasses and crack the plates

That’s what Bilbo Baggins hates!

Cut the cloth and tread on the fat

Leave the bones on the bedroom mat

Pour the milk on the pantry floor

Splash the wine on every door

Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl

Pound them up with a thumping pole

When you’ve finished, if any are whole

Send them down the hall to roll

...

That’s what Bilbo Baggins hates!”

Tony moved out of the way as Bilbo huffed past her in anger into the kitchen, only to find out that all of his dishes were stacked neatly and cleanly. 

The dwarves and Gandalf laughed. 

Tony let out a breath shaking her head lightly. She grasped her hands shyly at her sides as she stood there and the dwarves and Gandalf continued to laugh. She could only hope that when Thorin arrived he wouldn’t judge her too harshly. 

Bilbo slowly went at ease seeing that nothing was broken. 

Suddenly there were three loud knocks on the door, causing everyone to go silent. 

“He is here,” Gandalf said softly. 

Tony felt her heart begin to race in her chest. She hoped that Thorin Oakenshield wouldn’t judge her too harshly for being there in his company. After all, she wasn’t their kind and that would probably hurt her more than what it would help her. 

Chapter Text

Chapter 5

They opened the door and there stood Thorin. 

He entered Bag End. “Gandalf. I thought you said this place would be easy to find. I lost my way, twice. Wouldn’t have found it at all had it not been for that mark on the door.”

“Mark? There’s no mark on that door. It was painted a week ago!” Bilbo said with a huff knowing for a fact that there was nothing on his door.

“There is a mark; I put it there myself. Bilbo Baggins, allow me to introduce the leader of our company, Thorin Oakenshield.” Gandalf said as he looked over at Bilbo.

“So, this is the Hobbit. Tell me, Mr. Baggins, have you done much fighting?” Thorin said as he walked forward with a scrutinizing gaze as he looked at Bilbo. 

“Pardon me?” Bilbo asked, rather confused.

“Ax or sword? What’s your weapon of choice?”

“Well, I have some skill at Conkers, if you must know, but I fail to see why that’s relevant,” Bilbo said, taking a breath through his nose and wondering what it was all about. 

“Thought as much. He looks more like a grocer than a burglar.” Thorin said, looking back at Gandalf before he noticed the young woman standing there. “And who is this?” 

Gandalf cleared his throat. “This is Lady Tonya. Your nephews found her wandering alone in the woods.”

Thorin turned his attention to his nephews, his brows furrowed and a hard look was upon his face.

“And I insist she come on our quest.”

Thorin then turned his attention back to Gandalf. “We only need one. We do not need a distraction.”

Tony gripped her hands tightly at her sides as she looked at Thorin with a dangerous glare in her eyes. “Distraction? Is that all you men think? That a woman is a distraction?” Her arms crossed under her ample chest as she looked at Thorin with her green eyes narrowed in anger. She hated it when men thought that women were only meant as a distraction. Granted that she had the body of being a distraction, but almost any woman would be a distraction to men if the men had no idea of how to control themselves.

Thorin squared his shoulders as he moved forward. His blue eyes clashed with her green ones. “Ax or sword?” He demanded as he looked at her, his eyes narrowing some as he looked at the young woman. 

Tony took a breath through her nose. “Neither. Bow and arrow.” She stated her shoulders squaring up a bit knowing that she had taken archery lessons long ago even though she was probably rather rusty with the whole thing.

“She is still a woman.” Thorin pointed out looking at Gandalf huffing in agitation. He couldn’t allow a woman to join if she didn’t have that much skill. She certainly didn’t look like a warrior. 

Tony scoffed, crossing her arms. “Does it matter that I’m a woman? I’m capable of taking care of myself.” She knew the bruise on her cheek would probably make her seem like a damsel in distress, but she was far from that. “I know how to use a bow and arrows.”

“Only one weapon. You have no skill with a sword.” He said walking past her made her rather frustrated. 

Bilbo blinked a few times as he saw Tony’s hands gripping tightly at her sides.  

The dwarves followed their leader into the dining room. 

Bilbo came up to her rather concerned. “I’m sure he didn’t mean that.” He said softly, putting a hand on her shoulder and giving it a light squeeze.

Tony let out a frustrated breath. “Oh, the thing is Mr. Baggins, I know he did. Men regardless of it are their man, elf, dwarf, or hobbit. They always see their women as the weaker sex.” She shook her head as she slowly went into the room where Thorin was busy eating the food that the dwarves were able to get for him. 

“What news from the meeting in Ered Luin? Did they all come?” Balin questioned whether everyone had shown up in Ered Luin.

“Aye. Envoys from all seven kingdoms.” Thorin said as he took another bite of bread. 

The dwarves murmured their happiness.

“What do the dwarves of the Iron Hills say? Is Dain with us?” Dwalin wondered if Dain, who was Thorin’s cousin, would agree to this journey.

“They will not come.”

The dwarves then murmured their disappointment. 

“They say this quest is ours, and ours alone.”

There was even more disappointment in the group.

“You’re going on a quest?” Bilbo questioned as he came up behind Tony.

Tony slowly moved to allow Bilbo to come in rather closer to the room. 

“Bilbo, my dear fellow, let us have a little more light,” Gandalf said, looking at the sandy-haired hobbit.

Bilbo brought a candle to the table, where Gandalf had put a map on it that was in his pocket. 

“Far to the East, over ranges and rivers, beyond woodlands and wastelands, lies a single solitary peak.”

Bilbo looked at the map, his brows furrowed. “The Lonely Mountain.”

“Aye. Oin has read the portents, and the portents say it is time.” Gloin said with a nod of his head.

“Ravens have been seen flying back to the mountain as it was foretold: When the birds of yore return to Erebor, the reign of the beast will end,” Oin said slapping his hand on the table.

Bilbo looked rather concerned about the mention of a beast. “Uh, What beast?”

“Well, that would be a reference to Smaug the Terrible, the chiefest and greatest calamity of our age. Airborne fire-breather, teeth like razors, claws like meathooks, extremely fond of precious metals--” Bofur said, explaining it to the hobbit.

“Yes, I know what a dragon is,” Bilbo said cutting Bofur from explaining any more than what he had.

“I’m not afraid! I’m up for it. I’ll give him a taste of the Dwarvish iron right up his jacksie.” Ori said, standing up rather proudly.

Several of the dwarves shouted in approval. 

“Sit down!” Dori said, forcing his youngest brother to sit down.

“The task would be difficult enough with an army behind us. But we number just thirteen, and not thirteen of the best, nor brightest.” Balin said, shaking his head. 

“Hey, who are you calling dim?” Nori said, looking at Balin.

“What did he say?” Oin questioned putting his hearing trumpet up to figure out what was said.

 “We may be few in number, but we’re fighters, all of us, to the last dwarf!” Fili said, pounding the table with his fist.

“And you forget, we have a wizard in our company. Gandalf will have killed hundreds of dragons in his time.” Kili said with a cheeky smile.

“Oh, well, now, uh, I-I-I wouldn’t say that, I- -” Gandalf said sputtering.

“How many, then?” Dori questioned looking at the sputtering wizard.

“Uh, what?” Gandalf questioned eyeing Dori.

“Well, how many dragons have you killed? Go on, give us a number!”

“Hm.” Gandalf, rather embarrassed, started to cough on his pipe smoke.

The dwarves jumped to their feet arguing about the number of dragons that Gandalf had killed. 

Thorin jumped up bellowing out, silencing everyone. “Shazara! If we have read these signs, do you not think others will have read them too? Rumors have begun to spread. The dragon Smaug has not been seen for 60 years. Eyes look east to the Mountain, assessing, wondering, weighing the risk. Perhaps the vast wealth of our people now lies unprotected. Do we sit back while others claim what is rightfully ours? Or do we seize this chance to take back Erebor? Du Bekâr! Du Bekâr!”

The dwarves cheered at what Thorin was telling them.

Tony crossed her arms as she listened around. She knew that this was insane what they were doing, and it was dangerous. 

“You forget: the front gate is sealed. There is no way into the mountain.” Balin said, looking at his rightful king and shaking his head lightly.

“That, my dear Balin, is not entirely true,” Gandalf said twiddling his fingers, producing a dwarven key, ornately wrought. 

Thorin looked at it in wonder. “How came you by this?”

“It was given to me by your father, by Thrain, for safekeeping. It is yours now.” Gandalf handed the key to Thorin as everyone watched on in wonder.

“If there is a key, there must be a door,” Fili said thinking.

Gandalf pointed at the runes on the map with his pipe. “These runes speak of a hidden passage to the lower halls.”

“There’s another way in!” Kili said as he put his hand over his brother’s shoulders.

“Well, if we can find it, but dwarf doors are invisible when closed. The answer lies hidden somewhere in this map and I do not have the skill to find it. But others in Middle-earth can. The task I have in mind will require a great deal of stealth, and no small amount of courage. But, if we are careful and clever, I believe that it can be done.” Gandalf said with a firm nod of his head.

“That’s why we need a burglar,” Ori said softly.

“Hm, A good one, too. An expert, I’d imagine.” Bilbo said thinking.

“And are you?” Gloin questioned as he looked at Bilbo.

“Am I what?”

“He said he’s an expert! Hey hey!” Oin said mishearing what Bilbo had said.

Several of the dwarves laughed at what Oin had said. 

“M--Me? No, no, no, no, no. I’m not a burglar; I’ve never stolen a thing in my life.”

“I’m afraid I have to agree with Mr. Baggins. He’s hardly burglar material.” Balin said, shaking his head lightly.

Bilbo nodded his head in agreement. 

“Aye, the wild is no place for gentlefolk who can neither fight nor fend for themselves,” Dwalin said with a shake of his head.

Bilbo continued to nod his head in agreement. 

The dwarves began to argue once again.

Gandalf grew angry, raised to his full height, and cast darkness over the group speaking loudly. “Enough! If I say Bilbo Baggins is a burglar, then a burglar he is.” Silencing everyone in the group easily. Gandalf went back to his normal self. “Hobbits are remarkably light on their feet. They can pass unseen by most if they choose. And while the dragon is accustomed to the smell of dwarf, the scent of hobbit is all but unknown to him, which gives us a distinct advantage. You asked me to find the fourteenth member of this company, and I have chosen Mr. Baggins. There’s a lot more to him than appearances suggest, and he’s got a great deal more to offer than any of you know, including himself. You must trust me on this.”

“Very well. We will do it your way.” Thorin said suddenly not caring. 

“No, no, no,” Bilbo said, shaking his head lightly.

“Give him the contract,” Thorin said with a wave of his hand. 

“Please.”

“Alright, we’re off!” Bofur said with a smile.

Balin handed Bilbo a long contract. “It’s just the usual summary of out-of-pocket expenses, time required, remuneration, funeral arrangements, and so forth.”

“Funeral arrangements?” Bilbo asked with wide eyes. He stepped away to read the contract.

Thorin leaned towards Gandalf whispering to him. “I cannot guarantee his safety. Nor the woman’s.” He said, jerking his head to Tony.

“Understood,” Gandalf said with a slight nod of his head.

“Nor will I be responsible for his or her fate.”

“Agreed.”

Tony rolled her eyes, shaking her head. 

Bilbo began to read the contract out loud. “Terms: Cash on delivery, up to but not exceeding one-fourteenth of total profit, if any. Seems fair. Eh, Present company shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by or sustained as a consequence thereof including but not limited to lacerations ... evisceration … incineration?”

“Oh, aye, he’ll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye.” Bofur pointed out.

Bilbo looked rather breathless. “Huh.”

“You all right, laddie?” Balin asked, rather concerned.

Bilbo bent over, nauseous and pained. “Uh, yeah...Feel a bit faint.”

“Think furnace with wings,” Bofur said trying to make the hobbit feel better.

 “Air, I--I--I need air.”

“Flash of light, searing pain, then Poof! you’re nothing more than a pile of ash.”

Bilbo tried to breathe heavily trying to compose himself as the others watched him. “Hmmm. Nope.” Bilbo fell to the floor in a dead faint. 

“Ah, very helpful, Bofur.”

Tony let out a breath and shook her head walking over to the fallen hobbit, surprising the dwarves as she lifted the sandy-haired hobbit to his feet. She then hoisted the hobbit over her shoulders and carried him into the sitting room. She carefully put the hobbit down on the chair and let out a breath before turning to see everyone staring at her. Her brow quirked as she looked at everyone. “What?”

None said a word as she came back into the room. 

Chapter Text

Chapter 6

Bilbo sat on his chair holding a mug of tea in his hands while he was talking to Gandalf.

Tony sat next to the window with her lips pursed together as she looked out at the darkness. 

“I’ll be alright, let me just sit quietly for a moment,” Bilbo said softly, taking a breath through his nose.

“You’ve been sitting quietly for far too long. Tell me; when did doilies and your mother’s dishes become so important to you? I remember a young Hobbit who was always running off in search of elves and the woods, staying out late, and coming home after dark, trailing mud, twigs, and fireflies. A young Hobbit who would have liked nothing better than to find out what was beyond the borders of the Shire. The world is not in your books and maps; it’s out there.” Gandalf said letting out a breath unsure of why Bilbo was like this now.

“I can’t just go running off into the blue. I am a Baggins, of Bag End.”

“You are also a Took. Did you know that your great-great-great-great-uncle, Bullroarer Took, was so large he could ride a real horse?”

“Yes.”

“Well, he could. In the Battle of Green Fields, he charged the goblin ranks. He swung his club so hard it knocked the Goblin King’s head clean off, and it sailed a hundred yards through the air and went down a rabbit hole. And thus the battle was won, and the game of golf was invented at the same time.”

“I do believe you made that up,” Bilbo said, taking a breath through his nose. 

“Well, all good stories deserve embellishment. You’ll have a tale or two to tell when you come back.”

“Can you promise that I will come back?”

“No. And if you do, you will not be the same.”

“That’s what I thought. Sorry, Gandalf, I can’t sign this. You’ve got the wrong Hobbit.” Bilbo got up and walked away down the hall. 

Gandalf let out a breath. 

“You can’t expect him to come when he’s worried about his life,” Tony said not moving her attention from the window.

Gandalf looked over at the young woman. “And you are willing?” He questioned his gray brows furrowing.

Tony turned to look at Gandalf and shrugged her shoulders. “I’m lost in this world. Have no way back to my own. I have a feeling that yes my family may mourn my loss, but they’re not here to care. So if I risk myself then that’s what I will do.” She let out a breath. “Honestly, it’s not like I have something waiting for me back at home. So I’m here to help.” 

The dwarves began to gather in Bilbo’s living room, smoking on their pipes by the fire. They began to hum softly, soon Thorin began to sing while the others joined in with their king. 

Gandalf and Tony listened from nearby. 

“Far over the misty mountains cold

To dungeons deep and caverns old

We must away ere break of day

To find our long-forgotten gold

The pines were roaring on the height

The winds were moaning in the night

The fire was red, it flaming spread

The trees like torches blazed with light”

Tony took a breath and left the room to go outside. Once outside she took a deep breath of the cool night air. It reminded her of home and how it was cool. She felt a pang in her chest. She missed home a lot and wished that she was with her friends. But there was no way that she would return home now. She hadn’t even a clue of how to get home. That was the one thing that worried her. How was she to go on this quest with little knowledge of how to fight? She doubted anyone would be willing to teach her how to use a sword. 

She heard the door open and heavy footsteps come her way. She turned her head to see Kili standing there looking rather sheepishly. 

“I’m sorry.” He said softly offering her a small boyish smile. 

Tony swallowed the lump in her throat wondering what he could have meant by that. “Whatever are you sorry for Kili?” She asked the dark-haired dwarf who had been so kind to her. 

“I didn’t think that my uncle would treat you this poorly. You look like you have some talent… I bet there is more to you than what we see.” He said offering her a small sheepish smile rubbing the back of his head shyly. 

Tony’s lips quirked a little bit at the thought. “Oh, I doubt that.” She said softly her cheeks coloring slightly in embarrassment. She didn’t think that she was that talented. Granted she had away with words and writing, but fighting in some way. She hadn’t a clue. 

Kili came over to her and put his hand on her shoulder. “You don’t think that you have any talents?” 

“Honestly no. My skills with a bow and arrow are a bit rusty.” 

“I can help you,” Kili said looking at her with a pout slightly. He wanted to help her out the best that he could.