Chapter Text
“Ma, ma, mama” a voice calls, as her mother comes into sight, as she starts to wiggle in her father’s arms. “Ma, ma, ma.”
“Hello my sunshine, my sweet.” She places a kiss on her husband’s cheek, before grabbing the wiggling child, placing a kiss on her cheek. “How was your day, did I miss anything?”
“No, we went to the park, had some lunch. Still trying to walk.”
“She’ll get there, won’t you my baby girl.” She’s slightly relieved that she hadn’t started walking in the nine hours she’d been gone. The longest she’d been gone from the baby was four, long, hours.
“Ma, ma, ma” the baby agrees, pulling on her mothers’ hair, before putting it into her mouth.
“No sunshine, we don’t do that” she tries gently, prising the child’s hands away, resulting in a wail. She looks at the clock behind her, sighing. “I think it’s time to get ready for bed.” Her husband nods.
“Do you want me to bathe her?”
“No” Autumn starts, almost too quickly. “My sweet, you’ve had her all day. You go and relax.”
“I don’t mind” he starts, “it was your first day ba-”Autumn stops him before he can finish his sentence.
“I want too. I’ve missed her.”
She’d only planned to take four months, at most. But then three months had come and gone, and baby Aurelia was so small. So, then it became six, then seven, then eight months. Before long, it was ten months in, and she had to go back. She did love her job, and she’d never admit that she missed everyone at the Nursery. It wasn’t like she didn’t see them, but it wasn’t the same.
She’d never been able to empathise with the new parents, leaving their babies for the first time. Yet, she hadn’t expected to be so overcome with emotion when she left her this morning. She’d had this ache in her chest all day. She’d had regular updates from Winter, but it wasn’t the same as her being there.
She’d be starting nursery next week. They’d made the decision to send them to the sister nursery rather than theirs, a decision that was taken prior to Aurelia being born. It seemed like the best solution, there seemed something unethical to send her to the same nursery where they worked. Except, now, she really wished she had.
“I’m sorry” she whispers, as she strips the baby down, having checked the water temperature, making sure it was the optimum temperature. “I’m sorry my ray of sunshine” she whispers, “I’m sorry I wasn’t here.” She wants to explain to the baby that she needs to work, but she’ll be home. She’ll go to the nursery where Uncle Reece is, someone Aurelia is overly fond.
She watches as her daughter splashes in the shallow water. There’s something about the words “my daughter” that makes her all warm and fuzzy inside. She is someone’s mum.
Not just anyone, she is Aurelia’s mummy.
Her smiley, happy, baby.
Aurelia Rose Fortune-Knight.
She’d been worth the horrendous pregnancy, the sheer exhaustion of being a mum, especially in the early days. The anxiety of being a new mum was something that no one had prepared her for. The sheer scale of how much she loved her, piled with all the worry.
A mum was never really on the agenda, nor something she’d never expected to happen. It was a happy surprise, and she knew Winter adored being a dad.
She just hoped she was half the parent her husband is.
“My love” a voice startles her, “are you sure you don’t want help?” She shakes her head, clasping the baby to her chest. It takes a minute for her to realise that she’d forgotten to dry the baby.
“Oh.”
“Give her here, go and change, my love.” She almost doesn’t want to give the baby up, she’d not seen her all day, and Winter had. She was jealous of her husband?
“My sweet-”
“I’ll bring her straight back when you’re not dripping wet. I promise.” She feels empty, the moment he disappears, but knows he’s right. She does need to get changed.
She changes into something more comfortable; practicality had become increasingly important over the last new months. She’d never tell anyone, but she had found tracksuit bottoms to be rather comfortable.
Obviously, in private. That’s not something she would share with the world.
“C’mere” she whispers, as her husband brings in their daughter, fully dressed for bed. She settles herself in the chair in the nursery, with a contented baby. She takes a moment to inhale her scent. “I love you my little ball of sunshine” she whispers, as she gently unclasps her bra, offering her baby her breast.
She watches as her daughter takes it, gently rocking in the chair. She smiles slightly as she watches the baby fall asleep. She knows she’ll stop this soon, she probably should have stopped months ago, but it brought her comfort, and it something she could do for her baby girl. She wasn’t expecting to miss her quite as much as she had done today. She knew it would pass, when they got into a routine, but Aurelia just seemed so young, she wasn’t even walking yet.
She was terrified that she’d miss her first steps. She knows that the nursery would never admit it, they’d let her believe that she was there to witness them.
She knew this is what had to happen, but it was unexpected. Her feelings were unexpected. She knew she’d have to make the most of the next few days. Her baby wasn’t really her baby anymore.
Before she knew it, she’d be in school, with her own personality, she wouldn’t need her as much.
She knows that’s how it should be, and it means she’s doing it right.
But it’s just such a scary world, and her baby girl is so innocent.
She doesn’t know that she’s crying until she feels a hot tear hit her.
“My love, everything will be okay” Winter whispers, appearing at the door. “It’s okay to cry, it was a big day. But she’ll be okay.” He’s met with a tearful smile, placing a kiss upon his wife’s head. “It’s all going to be okay.”