Chapter Text
Mia's phone lit up again, pulling her attention away from her textbook. She was trying—really trying—to stay focused on her homework. This was her senior year, after all. Everything had to go smoothly if she wanted to graduate on time. She couldn't afford distractions, especially not now. There were too many people counting on her. Too many expectations. She couldn't let anyone down.
But then, a familiar notification caught her eye.
“Psst...”
It was Carter. Of course.
Mia frowned, pushing her phone away. Ignore it , she told herself. Carter always had a way of getting her off track. And no, it wasn’t just the fact that they were best friends. Mia knew deep down the real reason: her seven-year-long secret crush on Carter, the same girl who had been unknowingly holding Mia's heart hostage since high school. But she was determined to push those feelings aside. She had to.
Still, her phone dinged again.
“Mia kooo,” the message read, and Mia felt her resolve crumble. Carter’s special nickname for her always had that effect.
"Ugh," Mia muttered, finally picking up her phone and typing a reply.
"Ano ba? Busy yung tao oh." She wasn’t really annoyed, but this was how their banter always went—light teasing and playful remarks.
Carter responded almost instantly.
“Punta ka gig mamaya hehe.”
Mia rolled her eyes. Of course, another gig. Ano ba yan, gig na naman? she thought. She had to focus. There was a deadline to meet, and she couldn’t just—
“Hay naku, gig na naman. May hinahabol pa akong deadline oh,” she typed back, though she already knew how this conversation was going to end.
“Ha? Anong deadline? Di ba kakastart pa lang ng sem?”
Mia smirked at that.
“Shempre ako tong advance mag-isip. Gusto ko nang grumaduate this year, okay.”
“Sige na, kahit isang song lang,” Carter begged.
Mia sighed, leaning back in her chair. This was the usual routine. Carter would ask, Mia would resist, and then, inevitably, Mia would give in. Alam ko na tong laro eh. Talo na naman ako, she thought with a resigned smile. It wasn’t even about the gig. It was about Carter . Wherever Carter went, Mia followed. That’s just how it was.
Her phone buzzed again, this time with a message that hit her right in the chest.
“Miss na kita.”
There it was. The one thing Mia couldn’t ever say no to. She swallowed hard, her fingers pausing above the keyboard as she felt her heart do a little flip. She cursed under her breath.
“Eto na, pupunta na po,” she replied, already feeling the warmth of her smile creeping in.
Carter: “YES!!”
Mia could practically hear the excitement in Carter’s voice even through the screen, and despite her inner frustration, she found herself grinning. Ano ba 'tong epekto mo sa’kin, Carter?
“Lakas ko talaga sa’yo hehe. See u, Mia kooo,” Carter wrote.
“See u, Carts,” Mia typed back, her heart heavy yet light all at once.
As she put her phone down, Mia groaned softly and buried her face in her textbook. Why did she always do this? Why did she always drop everything for Carter? Ganito ba dapat ang friendship? She told herself it was normal. Friends supported each other, right? But deep down, Mia knew the truth. It wasn’t about friendship. Not really. It was about her feelings—feelings she had been holding on to for seven long years.
Seven years... Kailan kaya mawawala 'to?
*****
As Mia stepped into the dimly lit bar, the familiar scent of alcohol and loud chatter greeted her. She scanned the room, spotting her friends Sophie and Jade at a table near the stage. Both were already well into their second drinks, giggling and swaying to the beat of the music playing in the background. Sophie, the group's "bunso", was waving wildly in Mia's direction, a glass of something pink in her hand.
"Miaaaa!" Sophie slurred, her voice high-pitched and enthusiastic. "Ui, na-miss ka namin!"
"Guys! Na-miss ko rin kayo!" Mia grinned, walking over to their table. Sophie pulled her into a sloppy hug, followed closely by Jade, who gave her a more controlled but still warm embrace.
"Ano ba kasi kinakaabalahan mo, ha?" Sophie teased, her eyes narrowing in mock suspicion. "Eh, kahit ito si Jade na running for laude, mas may time pa mag-gig!" Sophie threw her arm around Jade, who just chuckled, sipping her drink calmly.
Jade, always composed and put-together, was the epitome of multitasking. Between her journalism major, being a student leader, and working as a radio DJ at night, Mia often wondered how Jade managed to do it all. Meanwhile, Sophie, still a junior majoring in Education, was the group's self-proclaimed "most OA," always dramatic and full of energy.
Mia smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of her neck. "Nag-a-advance study lang ako... gusto ko ng grumaduate this year."
"Grabe ka talaga, Mia. Kailangan mo ng social life!" Jade teased, her eyes twinkling with amusement.
Before Mia could reply, the room’s atmosphere shifted. The lights dimmed slightly as Carter took the stage, guitar slung over her shoulder, with their friend Mason beside her, already tuning her guitar. Carter's mere presence sent a wave of excitement through the crowd, and Mia noticed a distinct group of girls at the back of the bar who were already squealing at the sight of her best friend.
Dami namang pumipila kay Carter… , Mia thought with a smirk, rolling her eyes playfully. Of course, Carter’s natural charm was hard to ignore, especially when she was on stage. Next to her was Mason, their barkada's resident heartthrob—red-haired, a volleyball player, and notorious for being a babaero. No wonder so many girls showed up tonight.
Then there was Mateo, the band's drummer, and Mia’s childhood friend, already setting up behind the drum kit. They shared a quick wave, but Mia’s attention quickly returned to Carter, her heart doing a familiar flutter as she watched her adjust the microphone stand.
"Hey guys," Carter’s voice echoed through the speakers, immediately met with shrieks and cheers. Some girls in the crowd screamed with such kilig that Mia couldn’t help but feel a tiny, irrational sting of jealousy. But her thoughts were interrupted by Carter’s next words.
“We are Ten Times April, at ang kantang ‘to ay dedicated para sa mga in love diyan,” Carter announced with a playful grin as Mason started strumming the guitar. "Saka shoutout muna pala sa mga kaibigan ko sa harap—si Sophie, Jade..." Carter paused, locking eyes with Mia for a moment, and then, with a smirk, added, "Especially kay Mia. This is for you, tol."
Mia froze. Tol? Did she just call me tol ?
Her heart sank for a brief second. Mukha ba akong tol? But there was something else—something about the way Carter’s eyes lingered on her that made her feel... different. Before Mia could overanalyze, the band started playing the song.
Mia's breath hitched the moment she recognized it. The familiar melody sent her mind racing.
Wait, this song...
Carter's voice filled the bar, soft yet powerful:
"Can't count the years on one hand that we've been together..."
Mia’s heart skipped a beat. It was her favorite song. Of all the songs Carter could have chosen tonight, why this one? Her mind whirled as the lyrics continued, Carter’s voice weaving through the words with a tenderness that Mia hadn’t expected.
"I need the other one to hold you, make you feel, make you feel better..."
The crowd was up on their feet, swaying to the music, but Mia felt rooted to the spot. She could feel Sophie and Jade dancing beside her, their laughter blending with the music, but Mia was somewhere else entirely—lost in Carter’s voice, in the meaning behind the song.
Is this a coincidence? Mia wondered, her heart racing. Or... delulu ka na naman, Mia. Kailangan mo na atang uminom ng gamot.
Still, she couldn’t help but be mesmerized by the way Carter looked under the stage lights, exuding confidence and charm in a way that made Mia's heart ache. She was so effortlessly cool, so undeniably captivating, and Mia found herself falling even deeper—something she didn’t think was possible after all these years.
Carter's voice carried on, each lyric hitting Mia harder than the last.
"But when our fingers interlock, can't deny, can't deny you're worth it..."
Mia’s chest tightened. Ano ba 'to, bakit parang... She couldn’t finish the thought. She was afraid of what it meant.
As the song reached its final chords, Carter's eyes flickered to Mia one last time, and Mia felt her breath catch in her throat. Her pulse quickened, and a part of her—a very small, very vulnerable part—wondered if maybe, just maybe, Carter was trying to tell her something.
Is it possible to fall in love with the same person over and over again? Mia thought, her gaze locked on Carter, unable to look away.
*****
“Galing ng set niyo ah,” Mia said, handing Mateo a cold beer. They stood in a quieter corner of the bar, away from the noise of the crowd. Her friends, especially Sophie and Jade, were already drunk and dancing like no one was watching. Mia took this moment to catch up with Mateo, her childhood friend and the band's drummer.
“Of course, kami pa ba?” Mateo grinned as he took a swig from the bottle. But his eyes quickly flickered toward where Mia was looking—right at Carter, who was animatedly chatting with their group at the
other side of the bar. He noticed the way Mia’s gaze softened whenever she looked at Carter, and he couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Alam mo, hindi ka subtle, Mia,” Mateo said, teasing her.
“Huh?” Mia blinked, snapping out of her thoughts. She hadn’t even realized she’d been staring at Carter again.
“Time check,” Mateo smirked, eyes twinkling mischievously.
“Ha?” Mia furrowed her brows, confused.
“Umaasa ka pa rin,” Mateo said with a knowing grin.
Mia rolled her eyes, “Shut up.”
“Mat…” Mia hesitated, glancing at Carter again, who was laughing loudly with Sophie. Her heart clenched a little at how carefree Carter looked—so close yet always just out of reach. “Bakit ‘yun yung kanta na pinatugtog niyo?” she asked, her voice softer, a hint of vulnerability sneaking through.
Mateo raised an eyebrow, ready to answer, but before he could, Carter appeared in front of them, seemingly out of nowhere.
“Guys, tara Baguio tayo!” Carter blurted out excitedly.
“Hala, anong klaseng tama ‘yan, Carter Villanueva?” Mia scoffed, trying to sound exasperated, though there was a smile tugging at her lips. Mateo, meanwhile, just laughed.
“Cozy Cove music festival! Oh Cozy Cove na ‘yon ah, sige na. Tara na!”
“Banda naman pala eh,” Mia shot back, crossing her arms. “Ba’t mo ako dinadamay?”
Carter grinned, flashing that infectious smile that always made Mia’s heart race. “Eh para saan pa na kaibigan kita, ‘di ba?”
Carter then turned to Mateo, nudging him. “Oy Mat, sama ka ah. Kailangan ko ng back-up.” She didn’t even wait for Mateo to respond before she was off again, heading towards the bar to grab another drink.
Mia exchanged a look with Mateo, both of them shaking their heads. “Hala, anong plano nito…” Mia muttered, rubbing her forehead.
“Nope. May class pa ako bukas. Mia Rivera, umayos ka,” Mateo said, his tone half-joking, half-serious.
“Sige na Mat, huwag mo naman akong iwan sa ere,” Mia pouted, clasping her hands together in mock prayer. “Magpaka-best friend ka naman oh!”
Mateo smirked, shaking his head. “Hindi ako ang bestfriend mo. Kasi ikaw, in love ka sa bestfriend mo. Ayan oh,” he said, nodding towards Carter, who was now at the bar, surrounded by admirers again. “Time check: magpapa-uto ka na naman.”
Mia rolled her eyes but didn’t argue. She knew Mateo was right—he always was when it came to her and Carter. Mia had been stuck in this loop for years, unable to break free from her feelings for her best friend. It’s probably a bad idea... right?
And yet, the next thing she knew, she was at Mateo’s apartment, helping him pack a few clothes into a duffel bag while Carter waited outside in the car, humming along to the radio.
“Bakit pa kasi may ‘tol’?” Mia groaned, flopping onto Mateo’s bed as he zipped up his bag.
“Ha? Anong tol?” Mateo asked, pausing mid-motion to look at her with confusion.
Mia stared up at the ceiling, replaying the moment on stage over and over in her head. “Okay na sana eh. May dedication na nga, eh. Dinagdagan pa ng tol na ‘yan!”
Mateo snorted, finally understanding. “Time check: delulu ka pa rin, Mia.” He shook his head, smirking as he stuffed the last of his clothes into the bag.
“Lokong ‘to,” Mia grumbled, grabbing a nearby pillow and hurling it straight at Mateo’s face. It hit him with a soft thud, and they both burst out laughing.
“Ganyan na ganyan ka, high school pa lang tayo. Palagi kang delusional,” Mateo teased, tossing the pillow back at her. “Pero seryoso, Mia... hanggang kailan ka ganyan?”
Mia sighed, sitting up on the bed. She had no answer to that. Hanggang kailan nga ba? She’d been in love with Carter for seven years—seven long years of pretending her feelings didn’t exist, of playing the best friend role while Carter was none the wiser.
"Mat," Mia said softly, looking at her friend. "Minsan, iniisip ko... ano kaya kung alam niya?"
Mateo gave her a sympathetic smile as he slung the bag over his shoulder. "Hindi mo malalaman hangga't hindi mo sinasabi."
But Mia just shook her head. "Hindi ko kaya. Paano kung masira 'yung friendship namin?"
“Eh di masira,” Mateo shrugged, his tone light but honest. “Mahirap din naman na forever ka na lang ganyan, diba?”
Mia didn’t respond, just buried her face in her hands. Forever na lang ba akong ganito? She wished things were simpler. But every time she tried to move on, there was Carter—charming, funny, and completely oblivious—pulling her right back in.
Before Mateo could say anything more, Carter’s voice floated in from outside, honking the car horn twice. "Oy, mga bagal! Let's go!"
“Ready ka na ba?” Mateo asked, eyeing Mia carefully.
Mia took a deep breath and stood up. “Ready na.” But as she followed Mateo out the door, she wasn’t sure if she was ready for the trip, or if she was ready to keep pretending that she wasn’t hopelessly in love with her best friend.
*****
“Order niyo po, miss,” Carter said, sliding into the driver’s seat and handing a crinkled paper bag to Mia, her face still glowing from the post-gig excitement.
“Uy, thank youuu!” Mia’s tone was playful, but there was a warmth in her voice as she took the bag. As Carter started the engine, Mia eagerly peeked inside, curiosity piqued.
"CHEESE RINGS!" Mia squealed, her eyes lighting up when she spotted the familiar, nostalgic snack—her absolute favorite.
“Huy, baka magising mo si Mat,” Carter teased, her eyes flicking to the rearview mirror where Mateo was sprawled out in the backseat, snoring softly, completely out cold.
Mia glanced back, biting her lip to keep from laughing. "Tulog pa naman, may laway pa nga, oh." She stifled a giggle, nodding toward Mateo’s open mouth as drool pooled slightly at the corner of his lips.
Carter chuckled, a deep, throaty laugh that made Mia’s heart do a little flip in her chest. It was that laugh, the one that Mia always found too endearing for her own good.
“Play ako ng music, ha?” Carter said as she reached for the stereo, breaking Mia’s thoughts.
Mia nodded absently, but her thoughts had already drifted somewhere else as Ebe Dancel’s familiar voice began to fill the car.
Pansamantalang titigil ang aking mundo para sa'yo...
The lyrics hung in the air, heavier than Mia expected. Her throat tightened slightly as she heard the line.
“Carter…” Mia’s voice came out softer than intended.
“Hmm?” Carter asked, keeping her eyes on the road, though Mia could sense the slight curiosity in her tone.
Mia hesitated for a moment, feeling the weight of the question she had been holding back. Finally, she asked, “Bakit ba talaga tayo pupunta ng Baguio?”
Carter turned her head briefly to glance at her, their eyes meeting for a second longer than usual. It was a look that said more than words ever could— I know you too well.
“May ichecheck lang ako,” Carter replied vaguely, her voice nonchalant as she refocused on the road, but Mia wasn’t convinced.
“Is it… another girl?” Mia asked, her chest tightening as she held her breath, dreading the answer. It was a question she had been afraid to ask, a fear she knew all too well—the fear that Carter’s heart might belong to someone else, again.
Carter didn’t respond immediately, which only made the tension in Mia’s chest grow. The silence stretched, broken only by the hum of the engine and the melancholic strumming of the guitar on the radio.
“Haaay nako, Carter,” Mia sighed, trying to mask her disappointment with lightness. “Sabihin mo naman sa akin next time, ha? May pa-gig-gig ka pang nalalaman eh.”
“Sorry na, Mia,” Carter muttered, her grip tightening slightly on the steering wheel. “Eh baka sabihin mo na naman na I’m wasting my time…”
Isusugal ang puso kong lumalangoy sa lungkot para sa'yo...
The song continued, its lyrics echoing the very feelings Mia was trying to suppress. “Totoo naman,” Mia whispered, almost inaudibly, but Carter heard her.
“This is different, Mia,” Carter said, her voice more serious now, her eyes never leaving the road. “She’s different.”
Mia felt her chest clench, a heavy, sinking feeling spreading through her. Different. That one word hit harder than she expected, harder than she wanted to admit. So, another girl talaga. And this time… it’s different. She stayed silent, biting the inside of her cheek to keep from saying something she might regret. There was no point in arguing or confessing. Carter never saw her that way—she never would.
Mia focused on the passing scenery outside the window, the streetlights blurring as they zoomed past, casting fleeting shadows on her face. The sadness was all too familiar, mixed with a growing jealousy that she had no right to feel, but couldn’t help. She had always played this part—the loyal friend, the constant support, the one who never got to be the one.
Susundan kita sa mundo ng duda...
The lyrics seemed to pierce through her, resonating with every unspoken word between them.
“Basta… ano man mangyari,” Mia began, her voice slightly shaky, but she steadied herself before continuing. “Maha—masasandalan mo ako.”
The words weren’t the ones she really wanted to say, but they were the only ones she could say. Hanggang dito lang ako —her unspoken promise.
Carter glanced at her, her gaze softening, and for a moment, Mia wondered if Carter could feel it too, the tension she kept buried so deep. “Thank you, Mia,” Carter said quietly, her voice filled with sincerity. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
And just like that, Mia felt her heart lift again. Carter always did this—always said something that made Mia’s heart flutter, pulling her back from the edge just when she thought she couldn’t take it anymore. Mia hated it, but at the same time, she lived for it—those small moments where it felt like maybe, just maybe, Carter saw her differently. But those moments never lasted long enough.
Sa'yong bawat galaw ako'y sumasabay...
The song reached its final chorus, and Mia felt the familiar ache in her chest. She turned to look at Carter, who was focused on the road ahead, completely unaware of the emotional storm Mia was barely holding together.
Ngunit hanggang kailan, hanggang kailan kita mahihintay...
Mia forced a smile, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. Hanggang kailan nga ba? she thought to herself.
“Tol…” Carter began, glancing at Mia again, her voice gentle.
Mia’s breath caught in her throat at the word— that word again. Tol . It was meant to be casual, but it always hit Mia like a punch to the gut. It was a reminder of where she stood—forever in the friend zone.
“Ano?” Mia asked, trying to keep her voice steady.
“I mean it,” Carter said, her voice soft but firm. “Thank you.”
Mia just nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat. “Always,” she whispered, her eyes back on the window, pretending to watch the scenery blur past, but all she could see was Carter—the one person she could never have, but would always be there for.
*****
2018
“Carter, tumigil ka nga,” Mia whispered, her voice low but sharp, trying to maintain her focus on the final exam in front of her. She was seated beside Carter, her best friend but right now, her biggest distraction.
They were taking their final exams, and, of course, Carter hadn’t studied. Not a surprise, but Mia was growing frustrated. She could feel Carter's presence inching closer, her elbow lightly nudging Mia’s arm.
“Sige na, pakopya na... last number na lang,” Carter nudged again, desperation edging into her usually playful tone.
Mia sighed deeply, glancing at her best friend’s face. She noticed the dark circles under Carter's eyes, the slight puffiness that told Mia she hadn’t slept much—again. Hindi na naman nakatulog 'to , Mia thought, her frustration melting into concern.
Carter had been dealing with problems at home lately—arguments, hushed phone calls, something she wouldn't talk about. Mia knew better than to push. She had learned that about Carter; she rarely asked for help, and when she did, it was subtle, almost imperceptible. And here she was, asking for help in the only way she knew how.
Mia sighed again, this time more softly. With a glance at the teacher's desk to make sure they weren’t being watched, she slowly angled her paper toward Carter, making sure it was just enough for her best friend to see.
Carter’s eyes lit up with gratitude, and with a quick, discreet glance to the front of the room, she hurriedly copied down the answer. Mia's heart ached a little, knowing why Carter needed this but also feeling the weight of the risk they were taking. Bakit ba lagi kitang pinapalusot? she thought to herself.
But just as Carter scribbled down the last of the answers, their teacher’s voice boomed across the room.
"Miss Rivera! Miss Villanueva! Nangongopya ba kayo?!"
Mia’s heart dropped. Her eyes widened as she turned to face the teacher, a mixture of panic and guilt flooding her system. She could feel every pair of eyes in the classroom turn toward them, burning with judgment and curiosity.
Later that day, after an uncomfortable visit to the principal’s office and a stern lecture from her parents, Mia sat alone in her bedroom, still shaken by the ordeal. She stared blankly at her desk, replaying the events in her mind.
Buti na lang, community service lang 'yung parusa, she thought, feeling a small sense of relief. Pero nakakainis, bakit ko pa kasi ginawa ‘yon? She buried her face in her hands, feeling a mixture of regret and frustration. Bakit ba lagi ko siyang tinutulungan?
A soft thud suddenly broke her thoughts. Mia's head shot up, her eyes immediately darting to the window. Another soft tap followed. Curiosity piqued, Mia stood and approached the window, pulling back the curtain.
There, standing outside her house, was Carter, holding a bag filled with Mia's favorite snacks. But what caught her attention even more was the large piece of paper Carter held up, with hastily scribbled words that read:
"I’m sorry, Mia."
For a moment, Mia stood there, staring down at Carter through the window. She wanted to stay mad—she had every reason to. After all, it was Carter’s fault they had been caught, that she was now stuck with community service, that she had disappointed her parents. But as she looked at Carter’s sheepish smile and the way she waved the bag of snacks, all of Mia’s frustration began to ebb away.
She sighed, opening the window slightly. “Ano na naman ‘tong kalokohan mo?” she called down, trying to keep her voice stern, but there was already a smile tugging at her lips.
“Uy, sorry na nga,” Carter replied, her tone light and teasing, but Mia could hear the genuine apology beneath it. “May peace offering ako oh!” She held up the bag a little higher, as if it were a grand gesture.
Mia bit back a laugh, shaking her head. “Ang kulit mo talaga…” she muttered under her breath, though her heart felt lighter now.
Carter grinned. “Buksan mo na ‘yung pinto! Hindi ako aalis dito hangga’t di mo ko pinapatawad.”
Mia crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow. “Talaga? Diyan ka titira?”
“Oo! Sa labas ng bintana mo!” Carter shot back, her voice playful. “Buti na lang malamig dito.”
Mia couldn’t help it anymore—she laughed, the sound filling the room and breaking the tension that had been weighing on her all day. She couldn’t stay mad, not at Carter, not when she was standing outside her house like that, holding up a peace offering and flashing that goofy grin of hers.
“Sige na nga,” Mia finally said, rolling her eyes but with a smile that showed she had already forgiven her.
She hurried downstairs to unlock the front door, and as soon as she did, Carter was there, holding out the bag of snacks. “Para sa ‘yo, Mia ko!” Carter exclaimed, her eyes twinkling with relief.
Mia took the bag, shaking her head. “Ikaw talaga…” she muttered, but there was no real bite to her words.
“Friends ulit?” Carter asked, her voice softer now, a hint of vulnerability slipping through. She looked at Mia with those familiar, pleading eyes—the same eyes that had gotten Mia into trouble today, and probably would again in the future.
Mia smiled, her heart swelling with affection. “Friends ulit,” she said, and just like that, all was forgiven.
As they sat together on Mia’s bed, sharing snacks and laughter, the tension of the day melted away. Despite everything, Mia knew one thing for sure—no matter what trouble they got into, she and Carter would always have each other’s back.