Chapter Text
Percy, to Apollo: The path to inner peace starts with four words
Percy: Not. My. Fucking. Problem.
Percy: Go big or go home!
Chiron, tears in his eyes: I am begging you, go home. For once in your life, just go home.
Percy:
Percy: I’m gonna go big.
[In a battle]
Frank, trying to warn about the location of an enemy: To the left!
Leo: Take it back now y'all!
[At the police station]
Annabeth: Hi, I’m here for Percy.
Police officer: Who’s Percy?
Annabeth: Ah, you must be new.
Hazel: What’s up with Jason? He’s been laying on the floor for like….an hour now?
Annabeth: He’s just a little overwhelmed.
Hazel: Why?
Annabeth: Piper smiled at him.
Percy: Hey, Hazel, are you free on Friday? Like around eight?
Hazel: Yeah.
Percy: And you, Frank?
Frank: Umm... yes?
Percy: Great! Because I'm not. You two go out without me. Enjoy your date!
Frank: Did he just-
[ During The Lightning Thief]
Percy: You know you've made it when you see your picture everywhere you go.
Annabeth: Those are wanted posters!
Percy: Can I ask you for a favor?
Nico: I would literally die for you, but continue.
Percy: We need to talk about you starting sentences that way.
Annabeth, handing out popsicles: Which flavor do you want?
Percy: Blue flavor!
Annabeth: Uh, you mean Blue Raspberry?
Percy: Blue flavor! Blue flavor!
Annabeth: Blue is not a flavor!
Percy: BLUE FLAVOR!
Percy: Hey Annabeth, check out this funny .GIF I found!
Annabeth: It’s pronounced “jif”.
Percy: Huh?
Annabeth: “Dot jif”, like the peanut butter. The creator said so.
Percy: That’s dumb, it’s Graphics Interchange Format.
Annabeth: The P in .JPEG stands for “photographic”, but I bet you don’t say “J-pheg”.
Percy: “P” on its own isn’t pronounced like “F”, that’s totally different!
Annabeth: It’s exactly the same!
Percy: Name one word that starts with “G” pronounced like “J”.
Annabeth: Gentrification.
Percy: Shoot, should have thought of that. I was just in San Francisco.
Annabeth: For your logic to be consistent, you’d have to say “skuh-bah” (scuba) or “lah-seer” (laser)!
Percy: Yeah? Well, you’d have to say “J-pej”!
Percy: …Wait, “laser” is an acronym?
Annabeth: Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation.
Percy: Huh. Didn’t know that.
Percy: You’re still wrong, though.
Annabeth: You just hate me because I’m right.
Percy: I just hate you in general.
Annabeth: You mean in “geh-neral”?
Percy: Ugh, I’m “joing” to kill you!
Calypso: Is something burning?
Leo: My burning love for you of course!
Calypso: …
Leo: …
Leo: And the kitchen is on fire…
Apollo: We should normalize not loving family members.
Percy: You can just say: “I hate my dumb fuck dad” or whatever. Talk like a normal person!
Annabeth: While I'm gone, you're in charge Leo.
Leo: Yes!
Annabeth, whispering to Reyna: You're secretly in charge, but I don't want him to feel bad.
Reyna: Obviously.
Any demigod tbh: Helpful grammar tip: “farther” is for physical distance, “further” is for metaphorical distance, and “father” is for emotional distance!
[Son of Neptune summarized]
Frank: It's pretty cold outside.. wanna hold hands? We should stay close.
Hazel, blushing: Okay.
Percy: It's fucking summer.