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Plawan paused the movie they’re watching as he reached out for his buzzing phone. “Hey JJ, what’s up?” Seconds later, he turned to Oab, “JJ is asking if we could look after Euro for a few hours.”
Oab sat up, “you mean their eight months old baby Euro? That Euro?”
Plawan smiled and nodded, without replying to Oab, he spoke directly into the phone, “sure JJ, bring him over.” Oab looked at him in disbelief. Plawan gave him a peck on his cheek before reassuring him, “come on, baby. Euro’s a literal baby. How hard could it be?”
---
Soon enough, Methas and JJ got there, complete with a diaper bag that could very well fit another baby, and another, and another. JJ handed over Euro to Oab. Baby Euro, all squishy and chubby, with a thick head of wavy hair and the most suspicious expression a baby could have.
Oab was reminded of the story Plawan told him about JJ questioning whether Methas was actually naming their son over a currency. In an attempt to make his case, Methas said “it’s a good currency! When we have our second child, we can name him Dollar, or Pound! No wait, Dinar is the strongest currency now!” The name eventually sticks because JJ made him promise that if the child is named Euro, Methas will never speak about a second baby at least until the kid starts primary school.
“Thanks so much, guys. He’s an angel, just feed and change him accordingly, and we’ll be back before you know it,” JJ said as he gave Plawan a hug.
It took them some time to settle down. But eventually they manage to keep the diaper bag aside and propped some cushion for a makeshift throne for the baby. Safely guarded on the sofa with cushions on all sides, Euro stared at them with wide, unblinking eyes. Both of his tiny, chubby hands are crossed on his equally chubby stomach, making him look like a tiny CEO assessing the values of his new babysitters.
Plawan laughed at him and started taking some photos. At that, Euro furrowed his tiny eyebrows, making him appear judgemental. “He looks too much like that bastard,” Oab said out loud, breaking the silence.
“Stop it! You can’t say that in front of the baby!” Plawan rushed to Euro and placed his hands over the baby’s ears.
“Look at him, other babies don’t look like that. It’s like he’s saying, ‘my dad can’t do it but I will surely build a condo on top of your restaurant’,” Oab muttered.
---
Based on JJ’s notes, Euro is supposed to be fed now. Plawan made a bottle and held it out to Euro. “Here’s your food, Roro,” he cooed. Euro stared at the bottle, then back to Plawan, his eyes lacked the excitement you would expect from a baby waiting for his milk.
Oab, sitting nearby, chuckled at the face Euro made and the puzzled look on his husband’s face. Plawan being Plawan, tried again. “You like this, Roro. Papa said it’s time for you to mammam!”
Euro responded by pursing his lips and turning his head away. Plawan decided to reciprocate the rejection by putting the bottle down as he huffed, “fine, just let us know when you’re hungry!”
Baby Euro stared at him with an expression Plawan knows well. That is how JJ looked like whenever he wanted to say “I told you so” without actually saying it out loud.
---
Oab grabbed some toys from the bag. There was an airplane soft toy, an ultra realistic looking iPhone 16 - “wait, is that an actual iPhone?”, and stacked up blocks with photos of buildings on them complete with labels - Euro Cafe, Euro Hotel, Euro Stock Exchange, Euro Mansion - you named them. He set aside the iPhone and the Euro uhh.. properties and chose the soft toy. He made airplane noises and made the toy fly in front of Euro, hoping to get a smile.
Instead of following the airplane, Euro stared at him, unimpressed. Oab stopped in his tracks. He put down the soft toy and picked up the phone. Pretending that he’s dialing up someone, “hello police, yes, i need to report a murder. Who died, you asked? Me. The baby did it.”
Both him and Plawan got a good chuckle out of it, but Euro only blinked once at them.
“Maybe he hates me,” Oab whispered to Plawan.
“Well, you did call his dad a bastard.”
“That’s because he is one.”
Plawan smacked him playfully before grabbing the blocks. “Here, Roro. Would you like your hotel and your mansion?”
Euro’s eyes gleamed in a way that caused Plawan to take a step back before he whispered to Oab, “baby, maybe you’re right. He does want to build a condo on top of our restaurant.”
---
The husbands tried everything - feeding, playing, turning on Miss Rachel and Baby Shark videos. Nothing seemed to work. Euro just stared at them, keeping aloof, not giving them any reactions beyond the distaste evident on his tiny baby face.
As they lay on the floor together, they heard grunting sounds. They looked up to see Euro with his face all scrunched up.
Plawan’s eyes widened, Oab’s jaw dropped. “Shit”, both of them muttered under their breaths. And the sky is blue, the smell that started from where Euro spread into the living area.
“I am not going anywhere near him,” Oab announced.
“Either you deal with that, or I am following JJ home when he comes back to get Euro,” Plawan shot back as he scrambled to the bathroom with a diaper and the changing mat leaving Oab with the baby.
Oab groaned out loud. He carried Euro to the bathroom at arm length and laid him down with the world’s greatest dread on his face.
---
With his fresh change of diaper, Euro started to make himself at home on the living room floor. He rolled around, babbling happily. Catching sight of his property blocks on the sofa, he crawled towards it and pulled himself up with the sofa as his wingman. As he lost his balance and fell on his bottom, he finally cracked a smile.
Both Oab and Plawan stared at him amused. “He’s smiling. You must have done a really good job changing him, baby,” Plawan said as he hit Oab’s butt.
Oab turned to grab his husband but was stopped by the bell. He rushed to the door with Plawan tailing behind him with Euro in his arm.
“Euro!” Methas exclaimed excitedly. He continued, “he’s great, isn’t he?”
Oab rolled his eyes, “he’s just like you.”
“HAHAHAHAHA. I know I like you for a reason, Chef. My son is my mini me.” He laughed heartily, basking in Oab’s words without fully realising what it meant. “Let’s go home, Euro. Daddy brought you a Rolex, you can cuddle with it tonight.”