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The chicken sat in her cage, content to look out at the shifting sands, and push out eggs. That is, until the great molester showed up and assaulted her friend.
Now she was the scourge of the wasteland, fully awakened to the horrors of the world, ready to weaponize her beak upon the eyes of the bastard that hurt her friend.
Maybe it was the radiation of the wasteland that fueled her and spurred on her newfound intelligence. Maybe it was exposure to some virus lurking in the water. Either way, she terrorized towns every where she went, leaving behind tail feathers and chicken shit.
Now, after months of flying and fighting and pecking at dirty water, her target was in sight. The hunter had become the prey. Her wings were spread, ready to dive at the beady grey eyes of the beast, when
thump
BOOM
His head exploded into a bloody mess, greasy hair flying through the air.
Bawk? She asked herself, incredulous.
She flew in a circle to see who the assailant that stole her kill was.
“God damn chicken fucking prick!” A man in a trench coat and hat said. He had burns on his face and a gun in his hands. A smaller, much more clean looking female stood next to him.
The man’s hat look comfortable so she settled in. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em, and her wings were tired.
“Uh, sir?” the female asked.
“What?” the man asked sharply.
“You have a chicken on your hat.”
“Girl, I gotta ‘nough problems right now. Do not get hysterical on me.”
“No, sir, you don’t understand. There is a chicken sitting in the little indent in your hat. Right now. Just sitting there.”
He looked down at her. She looked up at him, past the hat at the fluffy white chicken, and bit her lips to stop herself from laughing.
Slowly, he reach up to find – BAWK!
“Ohmygodthere’sachickeninmyhat! I am not a goddamned motherfucking Disney princess!” he took the hat off and scooped the chicken off, then cradled the fluffy thing to his chest. He stroked her feathers gently for a few moments, then handed her to the female. “Her name is Bubbles.”
“Oh. Okay?”
He put the hat back on his head. “We need to pick up some seed for her.”
And very quietly he mumbled, “Maybe someday a horse will land in my lap. Now that’d be something.”