Work Text:
The job was done.
Zobrist's plague has been realesed for two weeks and Ms. Sinkey together with Sienna have been busy dealing with it. “We'll contact you as soon as things won’t be so messy.” Promised Miss Brooks when she left with other woman.
That was week ago. I still haven’t got my money for that, however I didn’t really care. I’ve got lot of money from Bertrand's account, which is no use for him now. God, how I wish he was here with me now, not ending himself. We could celebrate his achievement together.
After thing got a bit calmer I took an airplane back to Florence. Bertrand had flat in Florence, with lots of things left there abandoned. So I tell myself I should go for it. I will probably put it on sale then, even though this place hold quite memories.
I was sitting on a couch in his flat. From huge window in living room I could see the bell tower he jumped from that day. He looked like falling angel, while jumping down. I was watching him from shadows of streets, my blue eyes were locked on my lover as he was taking his final step towards his death.
I moved my head from window and looked into mirror hanging on wall next to door of a bedroom. In reflection I saw that heartbreak was written all over my face. I moved my pink bangs away from my face and took good look at my teary eyes. “Pink will look hot on you, definitely.” Zobrist told me few years in past. I was doubtful at the beginning, however now I feel, like he was right.
In reflection I also realised I still haven’t put my earring back in its place. It was gift from Ben. I stood up and come closer to mirror. Took small gold jewellery and place it in my ear.
Then I looked below my neck, on chest and opened my shirt. In the middle of my breast was bruise caused by Sienna’s terrible aiming skill. Doctor said it should heal in month or two and until then, I should take break from any training, because I am not able to breath properly.
Ah, fuck, how it hurts.
I cursed for myself. I was talking about heart, even through wound hurts too. Till this day I can’t bear thinking about losing him. And through now, he’s not here anymore, I’m still shaken. I can’t believe he always wanted to die this way.
“Are you gay just because this way you won’t have children who would increase population?” I asked him once, years ago.
He thought for a moment and glared me right to my eyes. I felt his green orbs staring deep into my soul, my heart. He breath in and answered.
“I’m gay, because I’ve met you.”
I didn’t expect this sweet words from him, but I felt delighted. Then he came to me and kissed me on my cheek.
“You are my medicine, I don’t need any others. If only people could understand this way of healing increasing population.”
I mean... he was not wrong. However, we can’t expect whole world to understand our love. This was only reasonable way to solve the problem.
I wiped tears from my face, while remembering his voice. Then I walked through the door, to the bedroom and laid down on my back. Bed still smells like you, Ben. I thought for myself, while holding sheets.
Suddenly my phone started ringing and that woke me up from my daydreaming. I pulled it out from my pocket and check number. It was Sienna and I really wanted my money for fucking job, but I didn’t intent to pick up. The ringing stopped and on screen appeared unheard voicemail. It’s really on fire, isn’t it, Sienna? I thought of how important the call may be. I wouldn’t be surprised if I was actually infected. I don’t mind not having kids. The man I loved is gone and it was man anyway.
I push play button on my phone and Sienna's voice sounded through silence of room.
“Hi, Ferris.” Said voice of lady with blonde ponytail.
“I’m sorry, I should have called sooner.” The message continues. No, shit, really? I wasn’t dying to know what are you planning to do in this situation. I murmured in my head.
“I hope you’re doing well. I have work over head, you know, when it turned out anyone might be infected we tried to reach as many people with case as we could.” She explained something I have already known, so thanks for nothing, girl.
“I also spoke to Langdon while ago.” I tried to remember man I spend hours with that day. He was pretty hot, maybe I should caught up with him one day. Go grab coffee or something... What about him?
“He is informed about situation...” Sooner than me, as I see.
“I am afraid, that there is nothing we can do about disease, yet. I know it might be disturbing for you, but I want to ensure you, when we will find cure, we will contact you and you get treatment... in case.” I have already thought about this. Anything else...
“Sinkey also send money to your account.” Fucking yes, thank you... At least remembered.
“That’s all I wanted, now, call me back, when you get this mail. Bye!” the message ended.
I was speechless. I got up from Bertrand’s bed and head back to living room. Some his things were already packed there and I think that rest is quite expendable. I took some of his clothes because it reminds me of him really much. Plus some of it looks pretty good on me.
I thought about what else should I take with me. And then probably move on with life. I have no idea what to do now. Ever since that night, Ben has been middle of my universe. I walked out on balcony to take deep breath. I pulled out cigarette and light it up before putting it in my mouth.
“You should really stop smoking, John.” Zobrist was always telling me.
“I know, I just love it’s taste.” Was my answer each time.
I know he was probably worried about me dying first, but what is point of living in world without him? If he always wanted to die this way, he shouldn’t be afraid of me dying. I really miss him.
I took another deep drag from cigarette.
“What do I do, without you, Ben?” I questioned silence. When I looked down in streets, people where just minding their own business. They don’t know about my problems and wouldn’t care either way. Bertrand probably won’t be missed by lot of them. But still. Out there is whole gang of people who admired Zobrist. But not the way that I did. They wouldn’t understand our love.
“Life is hell, without you, y’know?” I said as I brought my eyes to sky. “it’s like tenth floor of Dante’s Inferno.”