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They've never been so close. They met under the stairs between fifth and sixth period one day. She used to go there for hiding her smoking addiction from the teachers. She was alone all the days, so she used that time to think.
But one day this changed. She was lighting her cigarrette when a figure appeared next to her. She jumped in fair because she thought it was a teacher, but it was Jim Hopper. Football player, Chief's son, handsome and tall.
He just sat next to her and got a cigarrette from his pocket. They smoked next to each other, not talking, not even looking to each other. For some reason, it felt good. Both of them were just thinking their own things. They didn't have the urge to ask things to the other because they knew the other didn't want to talk to them.
They didn't know each other, and didn't want to, they just smoked together.
One day she went to her hiding spot crying, she fought with Lonnie, again. She was sick of him, really. When she arrived Jim was already there. She sat next to him sharply and got her hand in her pocket to get the box out.
She opened it and saw she didn't have any cigarrettes. She wipped her tears with her sleeve and mumbled a little 'fuck'.
Suddenly, she had Jim's cigarrette in front of her face, she looked up at him and he just pointed to it with his eyes with a little smile, giving her permission.
She took it from his fingers and breathed it. They were so strong. She started coughting and he laughted at that.
"What the fuck is this?" she laughted between her coughting "It's like I put the mouth in a exhaust pipe" he laughted harder at that. She laughted too and gave it another drag before returning it to his owner.
The laugh died in his lips and they were in silence again, lost in their thoughts.
"Wanna talk?" he asked, he spoke to her for the first time in their lives.
"Wanna hear?" she asked with a smile, but another tear fell.
"Well, I asked. So yes" he took another drag.
"Love just sucks" she sighted "My boyfriend just wants me to fuck or to be a fucking prize to show his friends. I'm sick of that" he passed his cigarrette again.
"Sometimes I feel the same" he spoke, she looked up at him with an arched eyebrow "Football player, tall, with money... Not many times you find a good friend or lover with that things"
"Yeah, having boobs also condemns you" they laughted at that. She passed the smoke.
"It's Lonnie, right?" she nodded. Everyone knew him for being an asshole "Why are you with him, then?"
"I don't know" she mumbled, looking to the ground "I guess I'm afraid about not anyone else entering into my life if I leave him, you know"
He didn't try to tell her to break up with him, he didn't try to give her a solution, because she didn't want one. She wanted to be heard. And he knew it.
"In my seventeen years, no one ever asked me on a date. Never. Only him. So I guess I'm afraid about being alone all my life if I leave him. I don't want to be alone" she didn't know why she told him all that. This was something she should talk with her friends, her parents or her boyfriend.
But the idea of being able to talk with someone that doesn't know her and won't use it against her days later was something that was new for her. And it made her feel akwardly comforting. He didn't expect nothing from her.
"Is that weird?" she asked.
"Not at all" he breathed. They were in silence for a moment until Joyce looked to him, her eyes saying 'say something please' "I want to get out of here for a similar reason. I want to see what making friends that doesn't want you for your money feels like. Or falling in love with someone that doesn't want you just for your dick and your football jacket"
She smiled to him at that. He understood her. She understood him. It was magic. They found a friend on the other without words. The cigarrette was over a while ago, but they didn't realise.
"Yeah, it hurst being just a toy" she said looking at him. He smiled to her and the bell rang. She got up "Same time tomorrow?" she asked.
"You know the answer" she smiled and ran to the building.
That fifteen minutes turned to be their therapy. They needed to talk, sometimes more or sometimes just stay there and enjoy the other's company. Today it was a talking day.
"I just don't understand why my mother doesn't do anything. She saw us suffer for him and she didn't move a finger. I'm scared of my own father. What man am I?" he asked.
It was Monday, Jim came to class with a purple on the cheekbone. Everyone thought it was because of some kind of fight he had in the street, and he didn't deny it. But he opened to Joyce, like he always did. He knew she wouldn't tell anyone what they talk, so he could talk about it.
"I wanna get out of this fucking town, of this fucking family" he brought his hand to his eyes and Joyce put a hand on his arm, trying to comfort him. They never did that before.
"Hey, you will do it" she assured him, he looked up to her. Tears in his eyes, but they didn't come out "I know you will get out of this shithole and be happy. You always get what you want, after all" she smiled and he let out a little laugh.
"And you? Are you gonna get out of here?" he asked. Her smile faded slowly.
"We can't afford it" she sighted "I would have to start working so I can pay college, but I would make it when I'm thirty, so I think I will pass" he didn't look at her with pity, he never did.
"Joyce?! Are you here?!" asked a voice, Joyce jumped. She knew that voice perfectly.
"Fuck" she mumbled. She put out the cigarette and ran to the gym.
"Jim, have you seen Joyce around here?" he asked.
"Who is Joyce?" he asked back. No one knew he knew Joyce.
"My girl. You know, small, brown hair and big boobs?" Jim clenched his jaw.
"I didn't see her" he took a drag of his cigarrette and Lonnie left him. He was pissed. Big boobs? That's how you describe your girlfriend? He ended his cig and went to class with a serious face. He felt so angry and didn't know why. Well, he knew. He wasn't happy with Lonnie being Joyce's boyfriend, in those days talking he realised that she was a fantastic woman. She wanted to study arts, she was so good at it. She had a pure heart and she was so wise. Why would Lonnie not value that? She was perfect.
Later that day, when he walked in front of her he looked at her, for the first time. She looked at him too. She was leaned in her locker with Lonnie next to her. She knew what he was telling her. She knew very well.
Their talks wasn't always sad, they talked about funny things when they were in the mood. Right now it was that moment.
"... So she ripped off my sideburns" she ended her story. Hopper opened his mouth in surprise.
"Wait, what?" he started laughting "Like, really ripped?"
"She looked up at me with my hair in her hands, yeah" she laughted "Like this" she recreated the scene and he laughted harder.
"I didn't know anyone could do that!" he said.
"Well, a baby could, so anyone can"
"Wait, but you have sideburns now" he looked at them.
"Well, the hair grows. Pay more attention in biology. You're starting to worry me" he was going to reply but they heard steps.
"Who the fuck is here?! You are not allowed to be here!" yelled Mr. Cooper, their math teacher. They looked to each other, took their bags and started running like they never did before "Hey assholes!"
They practically ended in the other side of the school. They were holding the grid to catch their breathings when Joyce started laughting.
"I can't believe I just ran from Mr. Cooper with Jim Hopper" she started. He laughted too.
"Same here" he made a pause "You're pretty fast, you know?"
"Well, in panic situations I act" he smiled at her. The bell rang "I will enter first. Good day!"
She was really smiley that day, but the smile in her face faded when Lonnie made fun of her for dropping her books in the hall. She got angry with him and left the place. He apologised with her in the afternoon saying that it won't happend again.
"I just want him to say something nice to me. But not when I tell him, when he feels it. But clearly he doesn't feel it. I don't know why he is still with me if he doesn't find me pretty" she looked to the ground "I know that I'm not but I thought that my boyfriend would think it"
"You're beautiful, Joyce" those words scaped from his lips before he could think about them. She looked at him with big eyes "Inside and outside. I promise" she smiled and kept talking, but now she didn't know what she was saying because she got nervous at his words. They melted her chest because he wasn't her boyfriend, he wasn't even her friend and he called her pretty, he would be the perfect boyfriend. But he wasn't hers. And that shouldn't hurt that much.
He lied when he said he was there because he wanted a cigarrette. He was there because from the car where he was with his friends he saw Joyce arguing with Lonnie and then her taking her heels off and running throught the grass until she reached their spot. Lonnie just kicked the wall behind him and went to his car. He said he wanted a smoke and went to their spot. There she was, in her beautiful blue dress, with some of her makeup ruined and a cig between her trembling lips.
"Mind if I join?" he asked, she jumped in surprise, just like the first time they met there. Now it was the last time, because they were in their graduation.
"Jesus" she gasped "Why are you here?"
"Just wanted a smoke" they sat in silence, her eyes didn't stop letting tears come out of her eyes, but she didn't make any noise "Wanna talk?"
"Wanna listen?" he smiled and she started "I'm just tired. My parents are saying that I should get married now because I will get out of my house and like that they will live better. I don't think Lonnie wants to get married. We were arguing because his mother talked to mine and they agreed to get us married"
She lift her hand to the bridge of her nose and sighted. His heart broke, why this happened to her, of all people? She deserved more than anyone to be happy.
"I want to make a family, but when we both want to, not when our parents want. But we don't have any more options. They are going to kick us out if we don't get married" she wiped her tears and looked at him "Anything to tell? I want to forget about this"
"I'm going to Vietnam in two days" she opened her eyes in suprise and he turned to her "To fight in the war"
"What? Why?"
"I wanna prove that I'm not useless, I think. I'm terrified, but if I come back my father promised me to let me do what I want, so I will go" he felt her hand in his bicep.
"Oh my god, Hop" more tears came to her eyes "I'm so sorry"
"Don't be" he smiled. They hugged each other. They really needed to, they didn't have teenager's problems now, they had real problems.
Hopper took her to her house. They were quiet in the way. When he parked in front of her house she looked at him.
"This is it, I guess" she sighted, tears forming again.
"Yeah, this is it" he turned to her too "Be happy"
"You too" she smiled and then, without being able to stop herself, she leaned and kissed him. Fast and quiet, but it was their goodbye.
She got out of the car and went to her house with an emptyness in her heart, he watched her enter in her home with the same emptyness.
"Did you heard that Joyce Horowitz is going to get married with the Byers boy?" asked his mom, cooking breakfast. His jaw clenched.
"Who is that Horowitz girl?"
"Did you know Jim Hopper is heading to Vietnam right now?" asked her mom, they were walking through the town to get a wedding dress. Her chest tightened in pain.
"Hopper? The Chief's son? I don't know him"