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10. stable: sane and sensible; not easily upset or disturbed.
Soft, white snow crunched beneath Vallerin’s feet as he headed up the slope towards a small outcrop in Sharlayan that overlooked the bay. He’d heard from Krile that since waking up from his two week coma after they’d returned from Ultima Thule, Skrall had seemed a bit more spacey than normal. Then, earlier this morning, he’d simply disappeared.
Vall still wasn’t sure how Skrall had managed to do it. He’d been keeping close to the Warrior of Light from the moment the man woke up (as those past weeks of silence had not been good for Vall’s heart), but the moment he went off on an errand on his own, Skrall had completely vanished.
The past couple of times Skrall had disappeared without a trace hadn’t ended well, and even though Vall kept assuring himself his lover was fine and still somewhere in the city, he couldn’t help the small bubble of anxiety in his chest as his mind’s eye saw that broken and battered body dripping pools of blood onto the floor of their ship.
As Vall reached his destination, he let out a sigh of relief Skrall’s large body came into view. He was sitting near the edge of the cliff, staring into the distance with a small smile on his face.
“Mon coeur…are you alright?”
Skrall turned his head at the words, his smile growing larger at the sight of Vallerin.
“I’m fine…better than fine…I was…hoping you’d find me…I wanted to sit with you…”
Vall stepped over and sat besides the larger man, leaning lightly against him. “T’would have be easier if you had told me where you were going…” he mumbled.
“Sorry…Krile had to ask me the same question three times in a row, and that was when I realized I needed some time in private to get my thoughts in order…so I came here, and hoped you would know…”
“…This is the spot where we spoke before leaving for Ultima Thule…I thought that if you were worried about something…you’d come here.”
Skrall gently moved his hand towards Vall’s and entwined their fingers together as best as he could, that same happy smile on his face. The two sat quietly for a little while, just enjoying each other’s company as they watched the ships sail in and out of the harbor. Vall was a little surprised Skrall had chosen to sit out while it was snowing, it was no secret the Warrior disliked the cold, but that large, warm sweater he was wearing must have kept enough chill out for it to not bother him.
“…Vall…it’s…it’s just…amazing…” Skrall finally said softly, giving his hand a little squeeze. “It’s…finally over…everything I had to do…all my other lives…it was all to stop Meteion…and I did it…we did it…and I’m still here…” He reached up with his free hand and touched his own face, fingers brushing lightly over a small wound where he’d nicked himself while Thancred was teaching him how to shave for the first time. “My body is aging like a regular person…I’ll have to shave and cut my hair now…I’m really here…as a real person of Etheirys…”
“…You always were a real person…” Vall murmured. “Regardless of what other people thought of you or used you for…but yes, I’m happy for you too.” He smiled up at the larger man.
“It’s like…I can finally be me…I’ve been able to be ‘Skrall’ in front of you for a while, but it always felt like…to the world, I had to be ‘the Warrior of Light’…now though…now I feel like I can be ‘Skrall’ for everyone…I’m still the Warrior of Light, but it’s just a title…it no longer feels like my entire identity…”
Skrall turned to Vall, looking a little teary-eyed with joy. “Our life feels…stable. Like it has a future now…like I can actually look forward to a future…it’s no longer like staring into a black void, I can actually see us together for years to come…growing old and enjoying our lives…and that’s all I’ve ever really wanted. To just have a regular life with you.”
Vall felt his cheeks color as his heart started doing flips. Gods, why did he have to be so honest like this? His hearfelt words always seemed to drive straight through Vall and touch his very soul, always leaving Vall at a loss of what to say. He loved this man so immensely that it had almost scared him.
But…he had to agree with Skrall. Loving this deeply, and feeling that love in return…it wasn’t as terrifying anymore. For the first time in his life, Vall found he could also think about the future…maybe start to plan for something…a place to live…something the two of them could make theirs…or even just traveling the world together for decades…it all felt obtainable.
“I love you…I’m so happy I can be here with you…” Skrall said softly, then gently pulled Vall close and into a warm embrace.
“…I love you too, mon coeur.”