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"Hey y'all. Wanna go to that fair? Y'know, the one near here." Skye says one day, and I see Phoenix almost spit out his coffee. We're sitting at a cafeteria table, and it's 7am.
"There's a fair?! Mate, of course I wanna go! I haven't been to one in ages." Phoenix's voice sounds dreamy, as if he's imagining it. I glance over at Jett instinctively, and find the duelists eyebrows knitted together in thought.
"I dunno… Cypher would have to work pretty hard to wipe my face from the cameras." Jett murmurs, almost to herself, when Pheonix chimes in.
"That guy stole my coffee this week anyways. Let him suffer." I smile at Jett. I know her answer before she even says it.
"Alright pretty boy… fine. If you really want me there." Jett says dramatically, as if she didn't want to go herself. She almost turns all the way around to look at me. A question glittering in her blue eyes. I answer with a nod before she can ask me whether I’m going or not. Jett responds with a radiant smile thrown my way, along with a thumbs up.
That was last week. Now, we're on a public transport bus. I glance at the person beside me, which is none other than the wind girl herself. She catches my stare, and holds it, raising an eyebrow. Cypher was beyond exasperated when he was eventually heard about our outing, and after careful negotiation, he allowed Jett to go with a black face mask covering her mouth and nose. I can still almost feel the cheeky grin seated on her lips.
"What's the stare for?" Sunwoo asks, and I roll my eyes.
"Just not used to you in a mask." I say simply, "it's new."
"New good or new bad?" Sun asks, tilting her head slightly to the side. I look her over carefully. Sunwoo has actually made the mask work, going with her usual get up, t-shirt and a blouse with rolled-up sleeves. The colour is different though. Usually it's a bright or pastel colour, but today she's going with black and white. It looks nice, I have to admit.
"New bad." I smile teasingly, and Jett makes a dramatic show of rolling her eyes before elbowing me.
"Nah, you're just so awestruck that you can't even tell the truth. I know you're so in love with me Tala." Jett says, laughing, and she doesn't know how right she is.
"With you? Never. I have higher standards." No I don't.
"'Betcha don't." Wow! Beautiful and smart.
"Actually I am only interested in people that are severely not-Jett." If only. To my surprise, Jett reels back dramatically.
"Tala! How could you?! I thought we had something…" She says mockingly, and I grin, despite the actual 'something' in question being very present and very there.
"What? You know the count would never allow that…" I say, crossing my arms, therefore shutting my body language down, acting small.
"But- But I love you!" Jett says dramatically, and inadvertently a shiver runs down my spine. I feel my voice crumble away at the seams, and I can’t imagine what would be left of it if she had said something slightly different.
"I- um- Wh- well, uh, we can't be together! The laws forbid it!"
"Please pretty girl?" Jett says, pleading. My heart melts a little, and I silently curse myself. I'm always dragged around and into these things trying to keep up with Jett. I don't mind it obviously, and it makes me love her more, but it's sometimes so hard to not blurt something out. Something like 'I love you too' or maybe 'your smile could put the sun to shame'. That’s stupid. I wouldn't say that.
"Oh… but I love you too… your smile could shame the sun with its brightness. But we cannot be together." I say, honesty spilling into my words like a river. Shit. Shit shit I wasn't supposed to say that.
"Awww…" Jett says, and I immediately know I’ve fallen into her trap. "You love me? That's cute."
Something about the way Jett says it, a little mocking, a little honest, makes me look back out the window at the scenery and cars whizzing past. It makes a faint blush make itself known on my cheeks.
"Cute?" I manage to say, before swallowing hard.
"Yeah. Cute. Just like you." Jett says, and for a moment I give into the fantasy that is Sunwoo Han. For a moment I believe her. For a moment I think she loves me.
Then Deadlock is tapping Jett's shoulder, the moment gone, and I remember who I am. I am Tala, she is Sunwoo, and we are not together even in the slightest.
"Our stop is the next one." Deadlock says formally. The uptight sentinel only gets comfortable with Skye, it seems. Odd, but okay.
"Alright. Thanks for letting us know 'Locky’" Jett says, grinning at the nickname that Skye has taken to calling Deadlock. Deadlock frowns seriously.
"Do not call me that." She says in a monotone voice, before walking away.
"Geez. Why'd she react like that?." Jett says, flopping back into her chair. "I mean, Skye calls her it. She doesn't mind then."
"You guys aren't that close. Or not as close as her and Skye anyways." I point out, and Jett looks down at her feet sheepishly.
"Yeah I guess. I hope she doesn't think I’m annoying." Jett frets, and I put a hand on her shoulder comfortingly.
"You? Never." I say mockingly, and Jett elbows me harshly. I laugh in kind before realizing our stop is almost here. I speak after a few moments. "Our stop is here."
Sunwoo gets up, and we walk single-file out of the bus. As we get off, we meet the group outside. Phoenix, Skye and Deadlock. Skye and Deadlock are talking animatedly about some of the rides, while Phoenix has his phone out. Jett grabs it from him, dangling it infront of him mockingly.
"Hey! Give that back!"
"No phones." Jett says, like an elementary school teacher would. I giggle at her antics, as Phoenix tries in vain to catch her. After a moment though, Skye speaks, her voice amused.
"Alright kiddos. Follow me."
(Guys I’m sorry for the time skip but omfg if I wrote the entire scene of them walking it would be like 1k words and I do not have that in me rn thanks for your understanding)
We're walking towards the large arch that is the entrance to this fair/amusement park, and Jett brushes her hand against mine deliberately. It's our own language, that we speak using our bodies.
‘Can we hold hands?'
I grab Jett's hand, intertwining our fingers gently. I hold her hand firmly in mine, and her thumb ghosts a touch against the back of my hand with a swipe. My body grows warm as she repeats the motion, rubbing my hand gently and effectively robbing me of my ability to speak. It's a good thing Skye has the tickets, because I couldn’t check in if I wanted to. Deadlock gives me a weird stare, and I glance at my feet awkwardly, before back up to her face. Her face rests in an amused smirk. I frown.
'Shut up.'
"I didn't say anything." Deadlock says, but sends a meaningful glance to me and Jett's hands. Oh boy. I am so glad that Sunwoo has tuned that out. I turn my head to follow her gaze, her eyes resting on an extreme-looking roller coaster. Then, she turns her eyes to meet mine, and I shiver unexpectedly at the closeness.
"We're getting on that."
My stomach churns just thinking about it.
"No we’re not." I argue immediately, and I can already feel the panic that would surely hit me once we go on a crazy ride surfacing in my throat.
"Aww, too chicken? It's fine. Pretty boy will go with me. Right?" Jett says, letting go of my hand gently before elbowing Phoenix roughly. I can't help the twinge of jealousy and dissatisfaction. That's what I tell myself at least. I can't help it that I feel this way. But as Jett teases Phoenix with that nickname, part of me wants to cry.
"Ow mate! Why the fuck you gotta do this to me?" Phoenix scowls, glaring at Jett
good-naturedly.
"Come on… you're gonna get on that with me!" Jett throws her arms around Phoenix's shoulders, which is hard, because he's very much taller than her.
"She's not going to notice you like that." Deadlock speaks from my left, startling me. I jump slightly, and turn to face her. Her eyes are sympathetic.
"I don't need her to." I say simply, and I find that my words are true. It doesn't matter if Sunwoo doesn't like me like I do her, I just want to be able to love her.
"I think you do." Deadlock says pointedly, "It's alright to admit that. But this," she gestures to my stance, "this will not help."
I smile despite myself, and laugh slightly at Deadlock. She's warm hearted on the inside. I remember Skye telling me that. Of course, Skye talks a lot about Deadlock, so it's not surprising.
"Thanks," I say, genuinely meaning it, "But she doesn't like me. I'd just rather stay like this. A comfortable distance away."
Deadlock regards the distance between me and Jett with distaste.
"Very well. Don't say I didn't warn you though. Keeping your distance is not going to be easy." She shrugs, and walks towards Skye, who has finally gotten all the tickets in order. I watch her catch Skye’s wrist softly, holding a hand out to grab a couple bracelets.
Easy for her to say. She actually had a chance with Skye. Me and Jett? No way. But as Jett walks over to me, she brushes our hands again, and I graciously accept the handholding once more.
Keeping my distance is definitely going to be hard.
In other cases, Skye hands me a bracelet,and I struggle to get into with one hand. Jett offers me a hand, and she slips it on easily, her fingers ghosting over my wrist sweetly, as I try to steady my breathing. Once she's done with mine, she holds out her wrist expectantly, and I slip it on with my one free hand. It's not my fault if my fingers touch her arm for a little too long, not my fault if my touch lingers.
Oh, but it so is.
I hear a sharp, quiet intake of breath as I ghost my fingers across hers as I’m pulling away, and I almost smile.
I begin to rub Jetts hand like she did to me earlier, and feel her squeeze my hand in turn. Emotion bubbles up in me fiercely, but I force it down my throat. I can't tell Jett I love her. Not yet, not ever.
But before I can mull over my unrequited love for Sunwoo "Jett" Han, Skye is ushering us forwards.
"So, what’s the plan?" She asks the group once we're sufficiently away from the entrance. Phoenix looks oddly uninterested, checking his phone again. He's been doing it all day.
"I do not want to go on any crazy rides." Deadlock says firmly, and oh if I had her confidence I would agree. But I don't. So I just stay silent.
"Great! I'll go with Is- Deadlock, and you three can do whatever?" Skye says, making sure the plan is known.
"I'm uh- actually meeting someone here. So I'll go with them." Phoenix interjects, and oh my god.
I'm gonna be alone with Jett. Jett, possibly the only person on the planet who I desperately do not want to seem scared in front of. Jett, who I want to impress.
Oh great. So throwing up is in my near future! I was starting to wonder.
"Sounds good! What do you think Pretty girl?" Jett asks me, and my attention is still on our interlinked fingers.
"Yeah. Sounds good." I mumble, and the other three disperse quickly, leaving me and Sunwoo in an awkward silence.
"Wonder who Phoenix is meeting. He seemed awfully anxious." Sunwoo worries aloud. I glance over at her to see her pretty face twisted in a concerned expression, watching the Fireboy walk away.
I wonder how she'd react if I said something akin to "Don't focus on him, focus on me, Mahal."
"W- what?" Sunwoo says, her cheeks pained a dark red. Oh. So I actually said that.
"Aha! Kidding. I got you!" I say, my words rushing out. It's a miracle that we jokingly flirt, because otherwise there would've been no coming back from that.
"Oh- haha- yeah." Jett says, her eyes a little crestfallen for whatever reason. I tug her towards what I deem an acceptable ride for the first ride, and Sun follows me blindly.
"So. How extreme are you willing to go?" Sunwoo asks me, raising an eyebrow. I swallow hard, scripting my response. I don't really want to even go on any extreme rides, but I can't seem like a coward either.
"I don't know." I say simply. Wow Tala, Oscar winning performance right there. God. Sunwoo looks at me kindly.
"We don't have to go on any super extreme ones if you don't want to of course. I know they're kind of scary for you, what with you being so high up." Sunwoo says sympathetically, and I nod sheepishly.
"I'm sorry. I feel like I’ll ruin your time." I say sheepishly, "We can get on some extreme rides if you want."
"You sure?"
"Yeah." I force out, and the pit of dread in my stomach doesn't go unnoticed. I try to ignore it though, and I grin, "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine."
"Alright. But if you get scared, you've gotta tell me, 'kay?" Sunwoo demands, and I feel my heart melt just a little at the amount of care she shows towards her friends. Sunwoo is just such a sweetheart.
I smile at her, nod and I glance towards the ride I’ve been leading us to. Sunwoo follows my gaze, and she grins.
"In that case, I think we can handle a swinging ship ride, huh?" She says, a devilish smirk in her voice that I can almost imagine. I try to return it, but I think my smile turns more into a tender, sweet smile. In any case, I see the affection reflected in Sunwoo's eyes, and I look away after a moment.
"Alright." I smile, try to go along with it. I know that Sunwoo doesn't want to scare me, or force me onto anything, but for some reason, my heart tells me to get on this ride. My gut says that I shouldn’t, that it'll be the worst decision ever, but I follow Sun anyways, and we make our way over to a terrifying-looking structure. I watch as it swings treacherously, and I swallow hard.
"We got this, right?" Sunwoo says, holding out a fist in a fist bump. Then, I remember that this is Sun. No matter what, it'll be okay. Because Sun's here. And she cares.
"Yeah. We got this." I say, before returning the fist bump. We walk over to the ride, which is now beginning to slow down. The ride operator, some skimpy teen in a carnie outfit, holds out a scanner, as me and Sunwoo lift our bracelets to it. It beeps once, twice, and we head in.
"Let’s get on the tail end." Sunwoo says, and despite my better judgement, or the obvious fact that the middle is the safest, I nod and follow her. We get in, and Sunwoo lowers the bar over our seat. It looks flimsy. It looks like it could lift. It looks like-
"You alright Sparky?" Sun asks, her head tilting slightly, "you're looking a little woozy."
"Yeah." I try to smile, but it comes out wobbly and uncoordinated. "Y- yeah I'm good."
"Hold my hand?" Sunwoo offers me her hand, and I look at it suspiciously.
"I'm not scared." I lie.
"I know. I am. So just hold my hand, 'kay?" Jett says, a sweet lilt in her voice. I take it, and I know Jett's lying. She isn't scared. But she knows I am, and I just don't want to admit it. So I take her hand, and squeeze it tightly. She squeezes back, and then I startle as the ride starts to swing.
It's fine at first. The swinging is nice, and it's exciting. Sunwoo asks me questions to pass the time, whether to make my nerves better, or to entertain herself, I'll never know. But Sun can almost always guess my answer before I give it.
"So… favourite colour."
"Blue." I say, smirking at Jett. "I know, shocker."
"Oh my god. I'm gonna have to sit down after that one." Sunwoo says dryly, and I can feel the seat beneath me getting higher and higher off the ground. I shut my eyes tightly for a moment, but then open them again when a gentle squeeze of my hand alerts me to Sun, looking at me with soft concern. I'm about to speak, about to say something like: "Sorry it's nothing,"
But then the ride reaches its highest point, and I'm floating. Only for a milisecond, but it's enough that when we start hurtling towards the ground, I instinctively move closer to Sun, grabbing her arm tightly. I can't breathe, my chest tight. My eyes are closed, but I can feel the wind whipping my hair and my body hurtling towards the ground. Falling, falling, falling until-
"Tala?" Sunwoo's voice breaks into the image of me cannoning into the ground. Sunwoo says her next words like a mantra. "Tala. It's okay. You're okay. I'm here. I'm here."
"I- I'm gonna- I'm gonna fall." I choke out, my vision blurring as I fight to open my eyes, just to shut them again as I'm lifted from my seat once more. I feel a strong arm around my shoulders suddenly, and I'm pushed forcefully back down into my seat. Falling, falling, falling-
"You're not gonna fall. I won't let you. I'm wind girl, remember?" Sunwoo’s voice is quiet, whispered in my ear. Her eyes are what anchor me to the seat below me. Just the image of them in my mind. Bright blue. How do they look right now? I can't force myself to open my eyes. But I imagine how they crinkle at the corners when she laughs, when she smiles. I imagine her concerned face, her shit-eating grin, and I fail to notice the way my body moves to hug her tightly. But I'm still falling.
"Tala? Focus on my voice, 'Kay? Just me. Remember that time when you and I took Cypher's camera? Yeah, and then he got all angry at us like 'you broke my camera!' And he took it to KJ and she said it was fine? Do you remember that Tala?" Sunwoo's voice forces me back to reality, and I realize the ride is slowing down a little. I'm able to open my eyes at least, and I peer into Sun's eyes as I pull away slightly from the tight embrace. Her eyes are a little panicked, but at the same time so calm. A sea of endless blue, fit for the best sailor the world has ever seen.
"Hey hey. You alright?" Sunwoo asks, her voice still soft and gentle. I nod slightly, and I feel my breathing start to slow. The tightness in my chest is still there, but it's fading slowly. "Thank god."
Sunwoo looks at me guiltily as the ride slows down, into the slow, nice pace it was at in the beginning, "I shouldn't have made you go on that. Sorry."
"No." I manage to speak after a few minutes. My voice sounds small to my own ears. "I shouldn't have agreed."
"Hmm." Sunwoo doesn't seem satisfied with my answer, but she doesn't pry. That's about the moment I realize I'm practically cuddling her. So I quickly move back, putting some distance between us. But Sunwoo's grip on my hand holds tightly. I look up to her face, and I find concern, and immense care. It makes me look away almost immediately.
"Really. I'm alright now." I say, more to reassure Sun than myself, and the ride has come to a stop, and I joke. "Just ah, maybe we shouldn't go on a ride like that for a while."
"Are you kidding me?" Sun snorts, and leads me as we exit the ride. "We're not going on anything like that ever again."
"Oh- I wouldn't want to be a bother." Sun falls silent, and waits until we fully exit the ride and get a ways away from it before she turns to me, determination in her eyes, and her hands holding both of mine.
"Tala, you're not a bother," She singsongs, and the sound makes me feel electric, "if you don't like those rides, tell me. I don't care about what rides we go on. I'm happy if I'm with you."
She's what? She's- She's happy when she's with me? I mean, I'm not miserable to be around, but I thought Sun might be more interested in the rides than me. But apparently not. It makes my face hot.
"I- you-" I stammer, eventually giving up on speech. Sunwoo raises a brow, and gives me a thumbs up. I return it sheepishly. Jett starts walking, yet again asking to hold my hand wordlessly. I accept her hand almost reverently. Jett's hands are cold, a little bigger than mine, and the way she holds my hand is electric. Not literally. It’s quite calm in that regard, which is mildly surprising. After a moment of Jett leading me silently as we walk around aimlessly, she spots the carnival games. Her eyes light up.
"Tala," Sun turns to look at me, her eyes sparkling, beautifully blue in the hot sun. "Want me to win you something?"
"Sure." I say, and as I stare into her eyes, a small, warm moment passes between us. Sunwoo holds eye contact for a moment too long, her eyes so affectionate, that I immediately look away. I direct my stare instead towards our interlinked hands, where I brush my thumb gently over Sunwoo's hand in mine. I feel her give it a quick squeeze before she speaks again.
"I'm literally the best at these games." Jett looks playfully at me, and I smile back slightly. She leads me quickly towards a dart game, where some middle-aged man looks at us with a wide smile.
"Win one for your girlfriend?" He says, as if offering it. To me, or Jett I’m not sure, "Two bucks per three darts."
"Sure," Sunwoo shrugs, and then turns to me, pleading. "Do you have two dollars?"
So we're going to brush off the fact he said we were girlfriends. Cool. Okay. I'm fine with people assuming we're dating. Cause we're not. Right? Right.
Yeah we're not. Unfortunately enough, I'm just me, and Sunwoo Han is a goddess. A white haired, shit-eating grin wearing goddess. And god, if she had a religion…
"I don't have two dollars. I'm not letting you freeload." I lie. I know I do have two dollars, but I also know Jett has two dollars.
"Drat." Jett dramatically sighs, and pulls out her wallet. "Guess I'll have to buy it myself."
"If you're my girlfriend, why don't you pay, hmm sweetheart?" I say sweetly, and I know my flirt is effective, because Jett shifts an inch closer to me.
"Mmm. Maybe I don’t want to babe. I only have so many dollars." Jett says gently, sweetly, and it makes my heart hurt. I step back further from her, releasing her hand.
Distance. That's how I get over this. That’s how I'm getting over her.
Not by flirting with her.
But as I try to step away, Jett links our arms, to ensure I don’t leave. I sigh silently, and Jett leads us over to the man.
"Three darts please!" She says, her grin evident with her voice. The man returns her smile before taking the two dollars, handing us three darts.
"If you hit all three, you get one of the bigger prizes. Less than that, a keychain." The man gestures at the big stuffed animals, then to the small plush keychains. I inspect the smaller keychains, and I find myself tugging at Jetts sleeve insistently.
"Hm?"
"Look! Squish-squish."I say, and point towards two keychains. They're yellow and blue, but they're undeniably Squish-squishes.
"Oh! That's super cool!" Jett says genuinely, and offers me the darts, "You wanna try then? I've got another two dollars."
I take the darts, mumbling my thanks, while Jett pays for another three darts. I grin at her.
"Hey. Whoever hits more wins." I say, a playful smile seated in my lips. I can see it mirrored on Jett's face, even though her mask covers half her face.
"You're on." Jett says, and angles her face towards the dart board, the balloons on it drifting slightly in the breeze. I watch as she lines up, and throws it lightly. A miss. A near miss.
"Hah! Aren't you supposed to be good at this?" I tease lightly, and Jett sighs in dramatic frustration.
"Throwing knives is so much different than darts."
"Use your wind."
"I'm no cheater." Jett says, choosing not to say the fact that she's also a wanted criminal for 'using her wind' in public.
"Alright wind girl. Just watch me win." I say confidently, and Jett has a smirk in her eyes.
"Go on then."
I carefully position myself like I have so many times before. Unfortunately, darts were a popular game at K/SEC, so I learned fast. I throw, and a balloon bursts with a pop.
"Bravo! And that was my Pretty girl being awesome. Tune in next week for more!"
Her pretty girl. HER pretty girl. Wow that- affected me more than it should’ve. I face is burning, and I know I have a gentle smile on my face as I turn to Sunwoo sweetly.
"Your turn." And the words from my voice, even to me feel soft-spoken, gentle and fond. So I clear my throat. Ew.
"Alright. Watch me Pretty girl. I'm about to knock you out of the water." Sunwoo says, rolling up a sleeve for dramatic effect. I roll my eyes and stay silent as she focuses. Before she even throws, I know it won’t hit. The dart hits the board, mere centimetres away from a balloon.
"Crap!" Sunwoo says, exclaiming in frustration.
"It's okay Wind girl. I’ll win you something, yeah?" I smirk, and wind up for my next throw. I throw it expertly, and another balloon falls by my hand. Sunwoo claps lightly.
"Wow, you're actually really good at this." Sunwoo compliments, and I roll my eyes.
"Just take your shot."
"Alright, alright jeez. So pushy!" Sunwoo lines herself up, and throws her last dart, convincingly striking the target as if it was first try. The balloon pops, and I clap almost dramatically.
"Oh good! I was wondering if there would be a contest." I say, elbowing Jett in the ribs.
"Oh shut up. Just hit your last shot."
"Alright Mahal." The term of endearment slips out without my consent, and I slam my mouth shut, just get ready to throw. But as soon as I'm about to release the dart, Sunwoo whispers in my ear.
"Love you Tala." She singsongs softly, and the dart practically falls from my grasp without even being thrown.
"Hah! Got you!" Sunwoo laughs at my failure, but all I can think about is Sun so close to me, almost touching my back with her front. Sun whispering about how she loves me. Sun being there. Then I snap out of it.
"Shut up." I make a point of rolling my eyes, trying to act like my thoughts haven't plunged into the depths of my mind labeled "Feelings about Sunwoo Han". Acting as if her breath wasn't inches from my ear a second ago.
"Anyways, guess we can pick a keychain then?" Sunwoo says, waving off my obvious mental crisis. How does she not know about me liking her? Sunwoo Han, codename Jett, has to be the smartest yet stupidest person I know for that reason alone. Even KAY/O knows. And KAY/O is a robot without emotions. But I follow Sun as she walks over to the keychains taking the two Squish-squish ones and holding them out to me.
"Choose one." She says, and instantly my eyes are drawn to the blue one. It's almost the same colour as Sun's eyes. So I reach out pathetically and take it.
"I like this one." I say firmly, and Sunwoo's eyes smile, although I haven't seen her smile virtually all day. I miss it.
"Alright then. I'll take this one. Reminds me of you." Jett says taking the yellow Squish-squish, her eyes shimmering.
"Aww, getting matching keychains? Maybe we are a couple." I say, teetering on the edge of fine and not fine jokes to make. Sunwoo laughs. Her laugh is so vibrant. So amazing. So bright. She has a presence that can just make everybody laugh. I wish she would grace me with it all the time. I wish I could be there when she wakes up, when she falls asleep. I wish I could tell her that I think she's the prettiest girl I’ve ever met, and that the title 'Pretty girl' should absolutely go to her. I hear her inhale to speak, and my own inhale gets stuck somewhere between my lungs and my mouth.
Her voice flows as smoothly as the wind which she controls when she speaks.
"If only."