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From the moment Dan woke up he knew it was going to be one of those days. The sun was too bright and he was too hot under his covers. He groaned and rolled over in bed grabbing his phone, shielding his eyes as soon as the too bright screen lit up. Grimacing at the time Dan hoisted himself out of bed and down the hall, sinking into the bathroom. Shedding his clothes as soon as the water was warm enough. He took a deep breath and let the water cascade down around his body, not even bothering to wash up. He stayed like that until there was a light knock at the door, “You wouldn’t mind hurrying up so I could hop in?” Of course Phil would be there to break him out of his own head. He always was. Drying off as quickly as he could he pushed out of the door, startling Phil in his wake. He let out a mumbled “Sorry” in Phil’s direction and walked back to his room, sliding into bed and staring at the ceiling.
Dan was honestly surprised he hadn't moved in such a long time but here he was, being shook back into focus by Phil later in the evening. Phil had sat next to him in bed and was lightly shaking him and saying his name repeatedly. Dan finally shifted and looked at Phil “Oh hi, sorry, did you need something?” Phil's face flashed with concern but he quickly hid it “Well, I have been calling your name for about an hour before I actually got up and came back here to see if you were even alive” Dan sat up straighter at that “Oh i'm sorry, i've just been laying here all day i guess” Phil chuckled and leaned back, gesturing to Dans body “I can see that, you haven't even bothered to get dressed” Dan's eyes followed Phils and he shot up covering himself with his blanket “Wow, that's embarrassing” Phil laughed for a moment before becoming serious “Is today another one of those days?” It still surprised Dan that Phil could read him so easily. He exhaled and nodded, leaning back onto his pillows. Phil looked away almost as if pondering something then spoke up “Well do you need anything? A cup of tea? Something to eat? A hug?” The first two sounded nice but it was the last suggestion that had Dan sitting up a bit straighter than before. “A hug would be nice” Dan's heart was racing as he waited for a reply, which was completely unnecessary considering that him and Phil would hug often if it was needed. “Of course Dan” As Phil opened his arms Dan practically fell into them, taking a deep breath, trying to take in as much of that amazing Phil smell he could.
They stayed like that for quite some time until Phil pulled back slightly “You a bit better now?” Of course Dan, in his doped up Phil space decided to say whatever came to mind “Of course Phil, you always make me feel so much better” Upon realizing what he had just said Dan tried to hide his face even more by burying it into Phil's neck. Which by the way if you ask Dan later, would be the moment that everything went wrong. Phil immediately pulled back and gave Dan a questioning look, “What do you mean Dan?” Dan could feel his face heating up and knew that by now his face would be a deep shade of pink. “Well um… I don't know” But of course you can't be friends with Phil for six years and hope that he can't tell when you're lying. “Seriously Dan, just tell me” Dan was sure that Phil could hear his heart rapidly beating its way out of his chest when a sudden wave of calm fell over him. There's nothing to be scared about, this is Phil. He will never leave you. You can trust him. Dan took a deep breath. “Well it's now or never i suppose” Vocalizing that just made the concern on Phils face deepen “Whats now or never?” Dan looked away from Phil and let out a choked whisper “I love you” The next few moments seemed to happen in slow motion which Dan would look back on and laugh bitterly at . Phil jerked his entire body back after sitting motionless for what seemed like ages “You don't mean as a friend do you?” Dan was close to tears by now, noticing Phils disgust immediately. “No I don't.I love you” Phil leapt out of the bed “Stop” Dan snapped his neck up to look at Phil, tears threatening to pour any second “How?” Phil walked backwards to the door “I don't know, but you have to stop feeling that way about me. I don't like you like that Dan. I'm not gay. This is just a friendship” It was merely seconds before the dam came crashing down and Dan's tears fell freely, actively setting off an emotional bomb “I cant, dont you see! I can't stop loving you! And you've known all along! But you let me suffer because why?! Because you didn't feel the same way! You could have sat me down and talked me down a long time ago but no! You just dragged me along! Winding me up and now you're just going to watch me fall! And do you want to know the worst part!?” The room was silent for a moment before it became clear to Phil that Dan was expecting an answer “What” Was all he could get out, guilt flooding him. Dan let out a choked sob like laugh, which sounded almost worse than nails on a chalkboard to Phil. “The worst part is, is that I loved every moment of it! Every look you sent my way, every brush of skin, every word! Even when I knew there was no hope for us! Don't you get that? Even when I knew you dont love me back I still let you drag me along because I needed you! I need you. I will always need you, and you don't care.” The last part being barley audible but just enough for it to jam its way into Phil's head. “I'm sorry” And with that Phil walked out of Dans room and ultimately, out of Dans life.
The next few weeks were hell, the only words shared by them were simple and short, Dan was moving out to his parents and so was Phil. Neither of them could live in that flat anymore. They never disclosed the full story to the public, they just simply started filming videos in their new rooms and never acknowledging each other. Whenever a fan would mention the other to one of the boys they would either ignore it or just go missing for a few days. The Phandom eventually moved on, changing their blogs out of respect. Not even a year later Dan had quit Youtube, not going unnoticed by Phil of course. If anything, Phil uploaded twice the content, almost as if to make up for Dan’s absence. Both boys were never the same, after all, it was the end of an era.