Chapter Text
53
the number on the scale stares up at donghyuck. the bathroom was pitch black, except for the number on the scale.
fuck. it went up again.
donghyuck thinks.
why is life so unfair? donghyuck had been starving himself for three days. three days of only drinking water and still nothing. why was it that jisung could eat a full three meals a day and still lose weight? why was it that mark could lose weight simply by cutting out beer for a few days. why did ten hyung stay so small all the time without ever gaining any weight? why, why, why?
donghyuck hears someone knocking on the door. donghyuck are you in there? it’s mark. of course he accidentally woke up mark. he put his clothes back on and heads to the door. dude you look tired af.. can’t sleep?
donghyuck nods. mark starts walking towards the balcony and donghyuck follows. finally outside mark pulls out a pack of cigarettes from his back pocket and offered one to donghyuck. he happily accepts and mark offers him his lighter. donghyuck breathes in the poisonous air and there it is. this is it. the feeling of air filling his lungs always has a calming effect on donghyuck.
he knows he shouldn’t smoke, but recently he’s been doing a lot of stuff he probably shouldn’t have. mark looks at donghyuck. u feel better? donghyuck nods. they’re quiet for a few more minutes. it’s not an awkward silence, but esther a calming one. donghyuck feels calm. he glances at mark. the way marks holding the cigarette with the street lamp shining on the side of his face, makes him look beautiful. his slim wrists, slim beautiful fingers. donghyuck looks down at his hands, and the thoughts are back. this is usually how it goes. he’s finally free from his own thoughts, and then boom they’re back. he hates feeling like this. he can’t remember a day when he didn’t feel ugly.