Chapter Text
The rain clattered against the glass windows with a ferocity that, had Yui not known better, may have shattered them. She walked up to them, glancing at the cloudy sky, then at the visible torrent against the asphalt of the empty street.
She was glad it had started after Hina and Ayumi had already arrived from school, and was thankful that Azusa’s job had turned remote, allowing her to stay home with Yuta, their youngest and sweetest child. Not that Hina or Ayumi weren’t sweet in their own way, but the toddler seemed especially clingy with both Yui and Azusa.
Yui chuckled as the thought of him fighting against Azusa to brave the rain to visit her that morning popped into her mind, an action that had already become a common occurrence, and one that was strikingly like Hina in her youth.
Once he masters stairs, he’s going to be a handful.
A handful that, hopefully, Yui would be able to help more with. Just as quickly as the amusement of her thoughts had come, so had the guilt of her new ones. The corner of her lips turned into a frown as she walked further back into the store, arms crossed and glanced up to the ceiling.
She could hear the ruckus from upstairs slightly, she could hear Ayumi’s boisterous voice speaking out loud, followed by silence sometimes, other times, Hina or Azusa would answer her, and if Yui perked her ears enough, the tiny voice of little Yuta could be heard. Azusa footsteps were clear, fast and with purpose, no doubt dashing about to take care of the house and kids.
Each time, despite their barely audible nature, they clamored in Yui’s ears as she tended to the increasing number of customers that walked into her store. She forced herself to focus on them, a normally easy task, hoping their questions and praises were loud enough to quiet the guilt that poured down from above.
Customers that had forced her to start earlier to tend to store duties and background tasks, and Mugi had been forced to spend more time at her own family’s business, causing Yui to take on more work and scurry around the store to diligently provide excellent service.
At times it was impossible to ignore the weight of the sudden spike in foot traffic, revenue, and online orders. It was impossible to not feel the fatigue of her shoulders that she desperately pushed to the back of her mind, it was impossible to not feel the heavy pressure push her down so unrelenting that she was afraid to be swallowed up by it.
But then again, it was impossible not to feel the joy from her customers as she rang up their products, the joy in her own heart as she watched her sales rise alongside her busy days.
It was impossible to not feel the joy when the kids entered the store to greet her, and catch the eyes of the regulars, whose eyes sparkled at the sight of them and welcomed them with their own hellos.
Hina would rub the back of her head shyly as she chuckled and greeted them. She had come such a long way from the extremely shy girl she had been, yet at times it was clear the shyness had never truly gone away when all eyes were on her.
Ayumi seemed to have no fear, even when she had barely learned to walk, she was always running from place to place, curious eyes and hands aching for a closer look. Yui would chuckle as she watched her soak up the attention from the regulars, as well as happily introduce herself to the first-time shoppers.
At times Azusa or Yui would have to gently pull her away and apologize for the disruption, an action that made the little girl pout each time.
And sweet little Yuta, still never far from the arms of either Azusa or Yui, had always teetered on the edge of both. It was clear he enjoyed the attention and gushing, though it wouldn’t be long until he turned around and reached for either of his parents and away from strangers.
Yui chuckled as she thought of them, the little beings that held the rest of her heart that Azusa didn’t already securely have.
It was a shame that the music store was so successful that it had kept her away more than ever, kept her so exhausted that she had upped her caffein intake, something that had been noticed by Azusa if the slight nagging that she was perhaps drinking too much coffee was anything to go by. Azusa’s slight nagging hadn’t stopped there, as Yui had caught sight of the worried glances Azusa sent her way, and the dark-haired woman began asking if there was anything she could do to help.
Each time, Yui’s practiced smile would appear, and she would shrug off the concerns and lie. She wasn’t struggling, she had her business under control, even with less of Mugi’s help.
There was nothing to worry about.
Yet, it seemed Azusa didn’t buy it.
Which had only led to more pestering on the subject and each time Yui gave the same answer, and each time each repeated scenario was recycled with more exhaustion and agitation.
Suddenly, frustration couldn’t be hidden any longer, and the two found themselves in disagreements that pushed them away slightly. Disagreements that kicked up a heavy air of frustration that lingered, yet both tried desperately to ignore. An action the two had done admittedly well, if only it hadn’t bled into the rest of the home.
Yui was sure Hina had begun to take notice, as the barely teen had been spending more time out of the house lately, sometimes even taking Ayumi and Yuta with her, despite previous grumbles that she didn’t want to babysit her younger siblings.
Yui sighed and dropped onto her stool, bowing her head as she berated herself, her grip on the cracked leather seating under her tightening with each internal self-afflicted admonishment.
Her successful business had been a dream come true, something she had only dared to dream about beneath the anxiety amidst the journey to get there.
And yet, underneath the happiness at the realization, underneath the pride of what she had accomplished, even under the disbelief, was a sadness at the personal strife that had developed between her and Azusa.
It had been so much easier when her store was the only centerpiece to her heart.
She let out another heavy, shoulder dropping sigh. The negative thoughts never dissipated, and she finished the last task on her laptop with heavy arms. She glanced up at the empty store, with the heavy torrent slamming against the frames of the building as the only companion to her sorrows. Technically it was still operating store hours, yet not a single customer had walked in since the rain had picked up.
At least if she closed until it stopped, she could go upstairs to her family, and hopefully the same discourse between Yui and Azusa wouldn’t repeat itself. With trepidation under the happiness, she stood up with a groan and began collecting her things.
She had just finished locking her backroom door when the bell above the entrance rang. She paused. She turned around in curiosity, though she jerked back at the sight before her.
There, drenched from head to toe and dripping onto the floor, stood a girl around Hina’s age, with long sandy blond hair that had been pushed down against her scalp by the rain, leaving it tangled. Yet, despite its flattened look, Yui couldn’t help but still find it dancing wildly in between her gasps of air.
Scorching auburn eyes locked with Yui’s as she gathered her breath, her body rigid as she stood with closed fists and tight shoulders. Despite the school uniform, just as drenched and sticking to her body, Yui found herself taking a small step back at her menacing form. “U-uhm…” Yui fidgeted, and the girl sprinted behind one of the isles, folding her body at its base as she barely peaked her head around the end of it.
Yui followed her gaze and frowned. The streets were as bare as they could be, with the torrential rain driving most people indoors and blanketing the streets with obscurity. She was about to shrug off her confusion and ask the girl if she needed any assistance when she noticed the slightest of movements in the air, blurred but very much there.
A group of boys, in what looked like matching school uniforms, had skidded to a stop in front of her store. Almost comically so, their heads were turning left and right frantically. The one in the front eventually turned his gaze to Yui’s store, and Yui quickly grabbed the nearest object, a clipboard, and began looking busy.
Her eyes momentarily glanced at the soaking girl, still hunched in her spot, her vibrant eyes glancing up at her warily, carefully watching her movements. Yui quickly looked back to her clipboard as she placed imaginary checkmarks and glanced at random merchandise.
The bell rang again, the girl ducked, and Yui glanced to the door where the boy had poked his head, though his eyes were darting about the store, no doubt in search of someone. Finally, his eyes stopped at Yui, and he attempted to turn his scowl into a smile.
Yui scoffed lightly, if he was going to fake an emotion, he did a poor job of it.
“Excuse me, Miss,” He said as softly as his gruff voice allowed, but she could hear the strain in his voice. “Did you happen to see a girl pass by? She has a uniform like ours, see?”
“No, sorry,” Yui responded, wondering what the girl could have done to warrant such anger from classmates. “Also, I’m going to have to ask you to close the door and leave, you’re letting in all the rain. And I’m about to close,” Yui gave a polite bow to them. “Make sure to not to stay in the rain for too long!” She chirped politely.
The boy stared at her for some time, and she simply smiled at him. “Tsk.” He dropped his empty smile and stomped off and continued his trek down the street, taking his entourage with him. She waited for a few minutes until she turned back to the girl, who was looking at her with wide, surprised eyes.
Yui smiled. “They’re gone now.” The girl slowly stood up, stepping into the main walkway as she glanced outside. She was taller than Hina, that was sure, and she clearly wasn’t from Hina’s school, as she was devoid of any traditional sailor uniform that Hina had worn. Instead, she wore a short-sleeved button up with red lines embroidered around the edges, her ribbon tie was loose, and Yui was sure the number of buttons that were undone, revealing some of collarbones, wasn’t up to dress code. Complete with a red plaid skirt and sneakers, another article of clothing that solidified Yui’s belief that she wasn’t the type to adhere to the dress code.
Still, that uniform looked familiar…
“Thanks,” The girl’s mumble pulled Yui out of her thoughts, and she saw her shuffle past Yui towards the door.
“Wait! Why don’t you stay here until the rain clears up?” Yui offered, frowning as the girl’s uniform clung to her skin and she was sure she was beginning to see the young girl’s body shiver on its own accord. The girl gave Yui a sideways glance, scowl etched onto her face.
“No thanks.” She mumbled again and continued her trek.
“Ah- Wait!” Yui called out once more.
“What, Lady?” The girl groaned, whirling her neck around to give Yui her best glare. Yui would be lying if she said it wasn’t at least a slightly menacing look, one that had her wanting to instinctively take a step back from its brunt force.
Still, she let out a nervous chuckle. She raised her palms up to the air and, much like she was dealing with a wild animal, slowly made her way towards the girl. The girl didn’t run away, though she didn’t ease her harsh gaze even a little bit, glaring at Yui all the while until the older brunette was next to the sandy haired girl.
Slowly, she reached down to the umbrella rack, where it had been just hers, as per the persistence of Azusa, who had already diligently checked the weather. Cutesy and vibrant, a far cry from the girl, who stood ragged and wild.
Yui smiled and held out the umbrella, watching as the girl took a step, arm up as if she were ready to strike back. Yui frowned. “Here you go,” She tentatively reached out, softly taking the girl’s wrist. She felt the girl stiffen, though she allowed Yui to move her hand, and Yui placed the umbrella in a waiting palm. Yui nodded and let go, leaning back with a smile. “It might not help right now, but you’ll be ready when it rains again, ah, one more thing,”
Yui dug into her pocket, pulling out her wallet, and pulled out some yen and change. Placing her wallet back, she held out her palm that held the money, and the girl froze, looking at it with wide eyes before glancing up at Yui again. Again, Yui made sure to give her a kind smile. “You can get yourself a hot drink from one of the vending machines in our district, I’m sure you’re cold from all that rain.”
The girl stared at the money, a blank look on her face. Quickly, anger filled in her blank expression, her eyes narrowing and body shaking with rage as she tightened her grip on the umbrella. “I don’t need your pity!” She snapped, slapping Yui’s hand away. Yui let out a shout of surprise as the money flew in all sorts of directions, clanging against the floor as the girl darted back out into the rain with her umbrella.
Yui watched her go with worried eyes until she couldn’t see the girl anymore. Yui let out a sigh.
Guess I didn’t make the best impression.
Despite the girl’s imposing aura and obvious run in with trouble, her heart still tugged at the sight of her in drenched clothes, at the young, angry eyes that momentarily softened at Yui’s kindness, showing a glimpse of what was underneath. It had only flashed for a moment through the confusion, but the softness was unmistakable. The mask had lifted, and Yui couldn’t help but want to give the girl more reasons to shed it.
She doubted she would get any other chance to, as the girl wasn’t likely to come back anytime soon. She glanced at the now empty umbrella rack. Her heart warmed up at the thought that at least she was able to bring the troubled girl at least some comfort.
With a glance at the clock, she quickly made her way out of the store, shivering as the rain immediately pelted her body. Despite the mad dash to her home, Yui still found herself reasonably soaked.
Despite the cold that washed over her, settling into her bones, she felt her heart soar at the noises that reached her ears. Her body felt light as she walked up the stairs, looking to the source of the noise, in the living room where a certain six-year-old stood on the couch.
“Fiery kick!” She announced the familiar phrase, from one of the magical girl shows Hina had inadvertently turned the whole family into, as she bounced on the couch cushions, her fluffy brown locks bouncing with her. She watched as Hina, her dark hair no longer in pigtails, now falling freely down her back, especially when at home, walked past the couch standing much taller than either parent had expected and with a confidence that finally quelled some of Azusa’s worries.
Before Yui could do anything, Ayumi leapt off the couch, soaring an impressive height. Yui’s heart instinctively lodged into her throat as she dashed forward. Luckily, Hina’s eyes immediately flashed to Ayumi, and with practiced expertise, she easily caught her with one arm.
With one arm hooked around Ayumi’s midsection, she spun in a circle, inciting a cacophony of giggles from the younger girl before being dropped onto the couch. “Nice try, Yumi.” Hina continued her walk, drinking her canned beverage as Ayumi continued to giggle on the couch.
At Hina’s return, remote in hand, Ayumi stood up to repeat the action. Hina grinned, putting the drink down and puffed out her chest as she pointed at the small brunette. “You won’t get away impersonating another Pure, monster!”
“Eeeh?!” Ayumi whined, then pointed back at Hina. “I’m Pure Scarlett, you’re the monster, monster!”
“You won’t deceive me!” Hina quickly moved her body to emulate one of the many transformation scenes and aimed the remote back towards Ayumi. The small brunette puffed out her cheeks before moving her body into another pose, and Yui leaned against the wall, unnoticed, smiling at the sight of their mock battle.
She let out a small giggle, cold body already thawing out from her warm, swollen heart.
“Mommy!” A tiny voice squeaked, and Yui’s gaze turned downward. The smallest and youngest in the family toddled up to her on shaky legs with arms outstretched, his chubby cheeks puffed out from his smile and large, bright garnet eyes adoringly looking up to her.
The sight simply melted her.
Yui quickly scooped up her youngest, peppering him with kisses. “Yuta!” She cooed, and he giggled in her arms, his own fluffy hair brown locks dancing under the movement.
“Oh, Sensei, you’re home.”
“Papa-Sensei!” Ayumi cheered, jumping off the couch once more and slamming into Yui’s legs. She welcomed the nostalgic sensation. Hina stayed on the couch, her attention now focused on the TV in front of her. Yui’s heart ached at the signs of Hina’s growing age, slowly leaving behind all the deemed “childish things”, like running towards Yui at full speed. At least, that’s what Hina told them, though from the scene she had just witnessed, it was clear Hina wasn’t truly ready to let go of some childishness, even if she was trying to play it cool now.
She chuckled and, with Yuta in her arms and Ayumi now wrapped around her leg like a koala, she made her way to Hina. The older girl looked up curiously, barely whining as Yui lightly patted her head like she always had, happy that Hina didn’t try to push it away. Yet. “Where’s mom?”
Hina turned slightly, letting Yui’s hand linger on her head, and pointed towards another room. “Last I saw she was cooking.” At Hina’s words, the guilt came back. Still, Yui said her thanks and deposited the other two on the couch next to Hina.
A quick look into the kitchen found a simmering pot and a space devoid of Azusa. Yui quickly made her way over despite her cold, sticking clothes sending slight shivers down her body. It was a dish she was familiar with, and she could tell it was ready.
Just as she was about to start a search party for her wife, she saw the dark-haired woman turn the corner into the kitchen, pausing in surprise at Yui. The brunette scooped up a little bit of the soup into the ladle, blowing on it gently before carefully holding it out with a smile. “I think it’s done, why don’t you take the first sip?”
Azusa’s face morphed into a large, sweet smile that shrunk her eyes slightly as she eased her shoulders down. She walked up to Yui, gently holding onto the brunette’s wrist as she slurped at its contents. Yui giggled over her and placed a soft kiss on the top of Azusa’s head, putting some weight on the other woman and inhaling deeply. She closed her eyes at the familiar scent of Azusa, of their rumbunctious kids in the background filling every square foot of the apartment with noise.
Their excitement was like music to Yui’s ears, as everything washed over her, caressing her body to an easiness as Azusa put the ladle back into the pot and wrapped her arms around Yui, fully supporting her weight. Yui exhaled contently at the gesture and had begun snuggling closer when Azusa spoke up. “You’re wet,” She remarked, putting her hands all over Yui’s body to feel it. “You didn’t use your umbrella?” Yui sighed.
She had hoped their next words wouldn’t lead to bickering between them, something that was becoming more of a commonality lately. Yui felt the tightness of her chest each time, yet she could never stop her own fumbling words that clashed with Azusa’s.
Yui laughed lightly and leaned back. “Ah… actually, I… gave it to someone else in need of it.” Azusa’s face contorted in an array of emotions, first confusion, then anger, then relented defeat as she sighed. She finally settled on a small smile and cupped Yui’s cheek.
“Always blindly helping others,” Azusa’s exasperated words were soft, and her thumb swept from side to side, calming Yui and earning another nervous chuckle. Azusa frowned and her thumb stilled as she looked down. “I wish you would let us do the same,” Her whispered words were barely raised past the sound of the pot, whose lid was beginning to clatter.”
Yui sighed once more and rubbed her neck. “Azusa…”
Azusa raised her eyes once more, the softness gone and replaced with slight harshness. “Mugi helped you for so long, and I can’t even bring you an umbrella you needed anyway?” Azusa’s words rose slightly, becoming twinged with more frustration as her eyebrows continued to turn downward.
“I know, but it’s…” Yui paused and frowned. It was so many things, and each time the argument came up, she felt her throat constrict and she sucked in the words she wasn’t brave enough to say. Instead, all that came out was, “You were busy, I didn’t want to add to that.” It wasn’t a lie, but it also was a statement she had explained multiple times and had lost its impact.
Azusa closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. The lid to the pot was really clattering now, nearly slamming against the metal. “I told you; I’ll never be too busy to help. And if I was, I’d tell you. All I’m asking is that you ask for help when you need it.”
“And all I’m saying is you don’t have to worry about it, Azusa,” Yui snapped back, her own frustrations heard loud and clear through the clattering pot. “I… just have to work longer days, I’ll be fine, isn’t that enough?”
“That may be, but-”
“Then, but nothing! My shop’s doing just fine and that’s that.”
“Ugh, Yui, please just listen to me.” The clattering began banging louder than Ritsu’s erratic drumming.
“I am! I-”
“No, you’re not!” Really, if they hadn’t been yelling, they were sure they wouldn’t be able to hear each other over that pot.
“Mommy! Mama!” Yuta’s voice was the loudest.
Both parents stopped as the boiled over liquid muffled the clatter of the lid. They found their youngest, his mess brown lock ruffled across watery, large garnet eyes. Hina had dashed forward in that moment, tugging Yuta’s arm slightly in an attempt to pull him back as Ayumi hovered near the doorway with equally large, hurt garnet eyes.
Hina’s eyes were looking away, narrow with frustration and anger.
Had their yelling truly been so loud it had shattered the jovial calamity the kids were partaking in?
The gloomy and tense atmosphere pushed heavy on everyone, rooting them to their respective spots as boiling water sizzled all over the stove and floor. It wasn’t until Azusa silently moved forward that everyone else did. Yui tried to help Azusa, but a stern, “I got it.” Pushed her back.
She let out a sigh and walked to Yuta, gathering him up in her arms and softly singing soothing words to him. He clung to her as he calmed down and she raised her hand to ruffle Hina’s hair. Hina expertly avoided Yui’s touch, instead storming back to the couch and calling for Ayumi to join her.
Yui tried not to let the stabbing pain in her heart show too much.
Ayumi awkwardly began making her way to Hina, though she did pause and give Yui’s leg a quick hug before scampering off and climbing onto the couch next to Hina. Hina was quick to wrap an arm around her and hand her the remote, telling her to pick whatever she wanted.
At least Hina knew how to bring a smile back to their faces.
Yui smiled softly and glanced at Yuta, who was looking at her with dry eyes now. He reached a tiny hand up and patted her cheek. “Mommy okay? Sad?” He chirped and Yui chuckled.
“Ah, did we scare you? I’m alright now, I’m not sad. Do you want to hang out with your sisters?” Yuta looked wistfully back at Hina and Ayumi and Yui began lowering him to the ground when he spun back around. “Wait!” He said with enough force to even cause a glance from the other two on the couch. Yui froze and he pointed towards the kitchen. “Mama!”
“Oh, you want to check on Azusa? Okay, then.” She stood up fully, walking back to the kitchen, where Azusa was finishing wiping down the mess. Yui’s heart sunk at the sight, and as much as her own shortcomings anchored her to the ground, Yuta’s small whines and reaching arms forced her forward.
Slow, heavy footsteps reached Azusa, who turned around with sagging shoulders. Her eyes landed on Yuta, and she smiled sweetly, greedily and happily taking him into her arms. Just as with Yui, Yuta clung to Azusa as she gently placed her hand on the back of his head and peppered him with kisses.
Yui’s heart soared and her eyes glistened at the sight. The comforting sight squared her shoulders just enough to reach out and tuck a strand of hair behind Azusa’s ear, grabbing her attention. “I’m sorry, Azunyan.” Yui pulled her hand away, ready to change her wet clothes, when Azusa quickly reached out to pull her back.
“Me too. I’m sorry, Yui. I’m… just worried, that’s all. I don’t want you overworking yourself.” Azusa hushed out and Yui stepped forward, wrapping her arms around Azusa and inadvertently sandwiching Yuta between them. Though from the small cheer he made, and the way he reached his other arm to Yui, it seemed he didn’t mind in the slightest.
“I won’t.” Yui whispered. Azusa made a noise, one that didn’t sound convincing. Still, she leaned against Yui and didn’t object further, and the two relished their closeness once more.
Any other disagreement that could have happened was put on standby and nearly forgotten by the time it was dinner. It was mostly normal, as Ayumi and Yuta had also moved on. Hina had silently scarfed down her food, sparing a glance to no one, and had promptly excused herself once she was done eating, closing her bedroom door firmly behind her.
Azusa and Yui shared a pained, guilty glance, though both decided to give her space in the moment. They went to their own bed with tense bodies, and though they shared in their warmth like usual, sleep did not come easily nor pass peacefully.
The kink in Yui’s neck had not gone away, as she painfully arose from her slumber first, a new routine that had been brought on by her ever-growing business. Now running it all essentially on her own, as Mugi’s own father had stepped down from his empire slightly, forcing the blond to step up in her Kotobuki heiress duties, it had meant Yui now missed most breakfasts with the family.
Her guilt had erased her hunger anyway, and she desperately tried to ignore the boisterous voices above her, reminding her of the missed moments never to get back.
She sighed glumly as she continued her much longer morning duties, keeping her busy before she had even opened the doors. For the moment, with everyone asleep, nothing but the stillness of the room kept her company, and with it, her unwavering thoughts.
“I’ll be fine!” Yui had cheered, chin and shoulders tall. “You’ll see, Mugi-chan! This is what I’ve been working towards all this time, after all!” Mugi had smiled, though the worry in her eyes didn’t go unnoticed.
Still, she had eventually relented with a nod and paused by Azusa as she had made her way to leave. “Watch out for her, won’t you? Make sure she doesn’t get overwhelmed?”
“Of course. You have my word.” Azusa easily replied, taking the hand that had rested on her arm. Mugi smiled, finally letting ease settle on her being.
Yui frowned at the memory. Had they all had so little faith in her? A knot formed in her stomach as quickly glazing eyes muddled through the work and negative thoughts made their way to the forefront of her mind.
She had been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn’t heard the morning ruckus travel down the stairs beside the store until the bell rang loudly in her shop. “We’re off, Papa!” Yui snapped her gaze up, at Ayumi at the door with her school backpack, and Hina behind her as she held open the door, clad in her Junior High’s sailor uniform.
“Both of you, take care!” Yui called out with a smile. Ayumi nodded cheerfully and bounced away as Hina lingered at the door, careful garnet eyes silently watching Yui. Eyes that always seemed far too aware of the strife of adults, even as a child it seemed she had always been keen on what had been troubling Azusa, even when both adults worked to keep it out of her field of vision.
Hina looked away shyly as the next words came out of her mouth. “Uhm… Sensei… about you and mo-”
“Onee-chan! Hurry up!” Ayumi’s impatient voice called out from the distance. The interruption had Hina looking back at Ayumi before looking down with a defeated sigh. Yui nearly caught herself matching it as she took in the downcast expression on Hina’s face. She walked to her, placing a comforting hand on her head.
It had Hina looking up, and Yui smiled down at her. “You should start heading to school, don’t worry about us, okay? Have a good day, and make sure to have fun with Mei-chan, okay?” Hina looked away once more and grumbled an “I guess…” under her breath before walking off, and Yui’s guilty gaze lingered on them until they turned the corner to go to their respective schools.
Yui let out a sigh. It was time to open and with the flip of the sign, so did the switch in her brain to ignore everything but her customers and business.
At least, the best she could.
The busy foot traffic and unrelenting orders proved to be the distraction she needed, the hustle and bustle of the store that she braved on her own had even managed to block out the noises from upstairs.
The business of the store had finally managed to slow down, and Yui was able to take a breath. Just then, the bell rang once more, and despite her exhaustion, she leaned her body to the side, out of the obscurity of the customer she was ringing out and paused.
The surprisingly familiar face of the troubled girl stood at the door, her white uniform bright despite the wrinkles and stains of dirt, and her rolled up sleeves showed the tight muscles in her arms from clenched hands. The girl’s auburn eyes locked with Yui’s, and she angrily marched up.
Yui couldn’t help but shrink back slightly.
The customer she had just finished ringing out quickly grabbed the items Yui held out to her and began scurrying away. “H-have a good day, Hirasawa-Nakano-san!”
“A-ah! Y-yes! Enjoy the rest of your day!” Yui quickly bowed as she thanked her customer. She rose up, and quickly yelped as the teenager stood in front of her now, her burning gaze unrelenting.
Wait, she was a teenager, her dazzling white uniform held no doubt about that.
Yui glanced at the clock on the wall, whose time had showed it was only barely the afternoon now.
“Hey!” The girl growled out and Yui jumped. She returned her gaze, taking a few seconds to look at the emblem of the school on her button up. The girl must have noticed Yui’s analyzing eyes, as she gritted her teeth and held up the umbrella, her tight grip at its handle as the other end nearly stabbed Yui in the face. “Take this back!”
Yui held up her palms instinctively, frowning at the burning gaze sent her way. At her silence, the girl nudged the umbrella closer to Yui, pressing it uncomfortably into the brunette’s cheek. Yui laughed nervously as she pushed it aside slightly. “Uhm, please don’t do that. But… do you… have an umbrella of your own, then?”
“Huh? I…” The girl faltered, her grip slackening as her body eased slightly as she thought of Yui’s words. She shook her head, and her shoulders raised suddenly once more as she jostle the umbrella back into Yui’s face. “Who gives a shit, just take this back.”
Yui smiled sadly as she nudged the end of the umbrella out of her face again. The bell rang once again, and despite the standoff, Yui leaned around the girl to greet the customer. Once the quick exchange was over, she turned her attention back to the teenage girl. “Keep it. I can always buy another one. So, please, keep it if you truly need it.” The girl blinked and took a step back, finally keeping the umbrella out of Yui’s personal space, if only to gaze at it once more. An array of wavering emotions flashed on her face, each one sliding awkwardly as the anger left with only a confusion that left her sputtering in place.
Yui felt bad for abandoning her at the spot as she tended to the other customers, so she made sure to keep an eye on her. She had at least moved from the register, allowing Yui to ring up her next customer, as she stood dazed at a random isle of the store. Just when Yui had thought of checking up on her, she abruptly turned and stormed out of the store, umbrella gripped tightly in her hand.
Yui’s worried eyes followed her through the windows until she was out of sight, and she focused all her attention back on her customers.
Well, most of her attention.
Despite the busy day, the teenage girl never quite left her mind, nor did the uniform she wore. Yui swore she had seen it, though she couldn’t find the time to fully figure out where she had seen it. So, with the night having fully blanketed the streets and the commotion of the upstairs ebbing her guilt, she had finally closed the door to her shop and made her way upstairs with heavy steps. The heaviness in her heart only increased at the sight of her dinner, securely plastic wrapped to keep the warmth in, waiting for her at the table.
With the clock reading far too late into the night, she sat alone as the others had migrated to their bedrooms to get ready to finish their day. Her sigh filled the air of the empty room, bouncing back off the walls and spearing into her chest. Slowly, she unwrapped the food, taking in the tantalizing scent that immediately impenetrated her nostrils.
Azunyan is such a good cook. Is there anything she can’t do? Yui smiled, taking a bit and closing her eyes.
The only thing that would make it taste better was if she wasn’t alone.
Her eyes began stinging and she dug into her plate, hoping the food being stuffed into her mouth would stop the bubbling pain in her throat, ready to release as her eyes screamed from the pain of the brimming tears. Eventually, the food wasn’t enough to stuff the emotions down, and she found herself about to choke on them as they gripped her.
She placed her fork down and balled her fists into her bangs.
The weight of the workload seemed to linger, tensing her shoulders and forcing knots that never seemed to go away. The silence around her was deafening and taunted her, laughing at her misery and she shook her head, as if it would clear the anguish from her mind.
Yui wondered how it could be possible that everything could be so wonderful and yet so miserable at the same time, pulling her in different directions, tearing her body apart in ways she wished she knew how to mend.
The sobs couldn’t be hidden, and she slapped a hand to her mouth in a vain attempt to do so. She curled into herself, slapping another hand over the other. Stop it, stop it. She berated herself as her body wracked with all the emotions she had hidden from the world, from Azusa, only to feel it attack her tired body.
A warmth suddenly enveloped her, wrapping around her body and pressing her face close. A rhythmic beat pushed through her spiraling thoughts, pounding against each one to silence them, and one by one, the thoughts stilled, though they never left. They were only silenced to a whisper, but Yui would gladly take it over their paralyzing screams.
She wiped her eyes as a warmth threaded through her hair, rubbing her scalp just the way she enjoyed, and the familiar comforting scent washed over her, greeting her like it always did every night. She let out an exhale as she fell further into the warmth, and gripped it back, no doubt wrinkling the shirt of its owner.
“… Yui…” Despite the whisper, Yui flinched at the words. She simply hid further into Azusa, who simply continued to hold her. “… C’mon, let’s go to bed.”
Yui nodded, allowing Azusa to take her hand and whisk her away from the kitchen. Luckily, they didn’t run into any of the kids, and once inside, Yui slid her hand out of Azusa’s grip to change. Her heavy limbs fumbled with the article of clothing and her nerves frazzled with each mistake, causing a frown and furrowed brows as she desperately flailed at her clothes.
“Here, let me.” Azusa said softly, and Yui’s frown deepened.
“Ah, no, it’s okay, I can-” I can do this, I can do this, I can-
“Yui, I want to…” Azusa stepped in front of her, gripping her sweater vest and bundling it in her firm grip. “Please, let me help with something, anything, I just…” Azusa looked down and her body shook slightly. “I don’t want to see you suffering alone.” Her voice cracked, and Yui dropped her arms from where she had been trying to lightly pry Azusa’s hands away.
Her heart felt so beaten, she didn’t think it could hurt with anymore guilt, yet she continued to stand corrected. She let out a sigh. “…Okay.” Azusa didn’t perk up at Yui’s words and Yui could see the subtle attempt to wipe away at her face.
The brunette looked away with a pained expression.
Her arms hung limp as Azusa slowly peeled the clothing off of her and quickly held out her pajama’s to take. Yui looked at the fabric of clothing and grimaced as she shook her head. Wordlessly, she slid into bed, facing Azusa’s side of the bed.
The dark-haired woman wasted no time in joining her, removing her own clothing and opening her arms up for Yui. The brunette practically dove into her arms, closing her eyes and nuzzling into the other woman’s warmth. She felt arms close around her and fingers thread through her hair.
“Yui…” Yui felt her body tense up. Azusa must have noticed, as the fingers that ran through her hair now messaged her shoulders. “What’s wrong?” Azusa paused, then her voice, barely audible, hushed out once more. “I just want to know what’s wrong…”
Should she tell Azusa? All the instances of Yui’s voluntary silent anguish erupting in her face flashed through her mind. The two had pushed through all their miscommunication, had truly pushed though the bumps in their relationship, and had promised no secrets or surprises.
Yet… faced with the burden of the shop in ways she hadn’t felt since she had bought it all with the help of Mugi and had walked into that empty store with high hopes, and Yui’s own insecurities flaring up and causing bickering between the two… she found her voice shriveling up once more. She could feel Azusa’s caring eyes looking down at her in concern, and instead of pulling forth an inkling of what was storming in her mind, she blurted out a vague half-truth. “It’s just the shop.”
Yui winced and mentally kicked herself. She stilled, waiting for Azusa’s next familiar words that would no doubt incite another argument and break the bubble of warmth Azusa had created with her body. Azusa was silent for a moment as she pulled Yui’s body closer to her own. “… I see.” She said quietly and Yui sulked against her. Azusa played with her hair once more, lulling Yui’s heavy eyelids to a close. Just before she had fully lost consciousness, Azusa’s whispered words drifted to her ears. “We’ll get through this, together.”
Guilt welcomed her to a restless slumber that night.
Its grip never faltered, and Yui found herself sneaking out of bed even earlier the next morning. Still unable to find her words, she silently threw herself into her work, and it wasn’t long until the busy workday greeted her.
With a cheerful disposition that didn’t reflect on what she was truly feeling and an empty smile that didn’t reach her eyes, she worked diligently. It had been such a busy morning, she hadn’t been able to give Hina or Ayumi a proper send off, and she had seen Azusa shoo them along in front of the store out of the corner of her eye.
Perhaps it was for the best. She didn’t know if she was strong enough to withstand Ayumi’s bright, sparkling eyes, or Hina’s careful, analyzing ones.
Her own eyes slid to Azusa’s, who was hovering at the sidewalk in front of the large windows. She saw pained garnet eyes staring back at her.
She quickly looked away.
She hadn’t even attempted to glance back for the rest of the day until the rush had dwindled to a standstill. Despite the store suddenly being empty, there was still much to do, and Yui wasted no time in fulfilling her background duties.
She had just finished placing a new guitar on the wall when the bell above the door rang. She turned her head, ready to greet the new customer, only for her heart to jump in her throat. She slammed her mouth shut and whipped back around to make minor, unnecessary adjustments to the new instrument.
She knew she was being childish, but the air behind her felt constricting, as did her throat as she choked on her words.
“Yui…” The brunette continued her mindless adjustments and bit her lip. Really, she should say something. Anything. Yet the only words she could think of had already been said and she wasn’t brave enough to truly express her peace. “Yui, please,” Azusa practically pleaded. “I know you’re done fixing that guitar. Can you please come down and talk to me?”
Yui let her arms drop. She let out a long exhale and turned her body just enough to see Azusa standing at the center of the store with glossy garnet eyes as she fumbled with the fabric of her clothes.
She stood broken and unsure, and Yui could only berate herself further. I’m so pathetic.
“Azusa…” Yui couldn’t say the words, they were so lost in her head and just retrieving lies to replace the truth felt like so much more work. She turned back around to her guitars. “I-I have work to do, you know? Maybe, later?” Azusa’s silence was deafening.
“I-I can help! I can even just help by helping clean, I-” Azusa stammered, her voice hopeful once more. With a heavy heart, Yui turned around and gave her a tired, strained smile.
“Ah, no, it’s okay Azunyan, really…” Yui waved her off and Azusa deflated.
“Why…” Azusa’s voice shook. “Why does it feel like you don’t want my help…” The pain was unmistakable, and she wrapped her arms around herself to still her trembling body.
Yui couldn’t ignore that pain, even if she was the cause of it. “Azusa!” She twisted her body as she sped down the ladder, and her foot slid. Suddenly the air whipped around her as her heart leapt and she heard Azusa yell her name.
She shut her eyes, bracing for impact.
The impact was soft and buckled beneath her slightly but held her decently upright, with warmth hooking under her armpits. Azusa’s voice was closer, but calmer, as hands quickly cupped her cheek and brushed her bangs aside.
Yui opened her eyes and glanced at Azusa’s relieved face. Wait. If those were Azusa’s hands, then… Yui’s eyes slid up more, and widened at the face of the teen. Her angry eyes looked more judgmental now and she quirked an eyebrow at Yui.
Yui saw Azusa quickly bow as she offered gratitude at the noble action, and the girl looked away uncomfortably. With her gaze towards the window, Yui saw her eyes widen, and suddenly the wind was knocked out of her as she hit the floor.
Azusa was quick to be at her side, but Yui quickly scrambled off the floor. “Ah, please wait!” She jogged out of the store, but the girl was much faster. By the time she was fully outside, she saw the girl sprinting around the corner with other teenagers, some in a school uniform and some clad in regular clothes.
The girl looked back just before she vanished, and despite the distance, Yui saw it. Concern and guilt swirling with anger.
“Takeda-san, is everything alright?” Azusa was behind her, and Yui turned to see her standing next to a distraught Takeda.
“Some damn kids stole some merchandise. I swear, sometimes I wonder what’s wrong with the youth these days.” The two continued in conversation, most of which consisted of Takeda’s frustration and Azusa’s awkward attempts to quell them.
At the sight of a customer reaching the door of her own shop, Yui quickly bid them goodbye. Azusa’s strangled voice started to call out for her, only to dwindle off.
Yui couldn’t dare to look back at what she was sure was a pained expression on Azusa’s face.
Azusa didn’t come back into the store, and Yui closed with an anxious heart and tense body. She made her way upstairs, her footsteps pounded against her ears as the walls seemed to inch closer and closer.
Had the stairway always been this claustrophobic?
Her body continued to struggle up the steps, sluggish under the weight that never seemed to go away anymore. It took far too long, but she reached the top, where the sounds and sensations of home hit her all at once.
She leaned against the wall and sniffed the air, where the savory aroma of a delicious dinner entered her nostrils. Her gaze lifted to the kitchen, where the sounds of dishes clattering and family members chatting over each other reached her ears.
Yui’s tired body nearly collapsed against the wall as a sad smile graced her lips. When was the last time she had consistently heard those pleasant noises? Had it truly been that long?
She had told herself over and over that she was more than capable of handling the shop alone. Like a mantra, it replayed in her head consistently. She knew she could.
Yet, with the ever-growing workload and pressure, her sacrificed nights had continued far longer than anyone had planned. It was a concern that had been mentioned far earlier in her career path, when she had felt like giving up before she realized what she truly wanted.
Mugi had warned her of the intense workload. Mugi’s father had brought it up. They both had, yet they both had been willing to help her just as they had helped each other. Despite the words making Yui pause, making her question if it was even possible for someone like her, she took their warnings with stride and marched forward.
And she had made it, and she was going to prove to them that she could do it alone, without their help, and make her way just as they had.
… She could, right?
“Sensei?” Hina’s voice, curious and laced with worry, pulled Yui’s gaze up from the floor. Yui put a smile on her face and Hina looked at her questioningly. “You’re… not busy?” Yui internally winced at the question.
“Ah, no, I’m…” Yui sighed and walked up to Hina, patting her head. “No, not tonight.”
Hina smiled brightly, much like she had when she was younger, when she would throw her little body against Yui’s legs in greeting. “Great! Er, I mean,” Hina controlled her excitement and shrugged. “Er, cool, I guess. I was just on my way to help mom set the table.”
Yui giggled at Hina’s actions. Don’t grow up too fast, Hina. Yui slowly followed Hina and paused at the doorway. Azusa had been in the middle of setting the place on the table, and it wasn’t until Ayumi and Yuta had emphatically called out to Yui that she had noticed the brunette.
“Yui…” Her eyes gazed at her for a moment before looking away. “I’ll get your plate ready.” She quickly disappeared to the kitchen and Yui’s shoulders slumped.
Not even Ayumi’s and Yuta’s laughs mended her broken heart.
So, with a tired body, and dinner fully served, Yui dragged herself to the table and nearly collapsed into her seat. They all said their thanks, though both Yui and Azusa’s had lacked any enthusiasm.
The others must have noticed, as dinner was oddly silent. Ayumi attempted to excitedly talk about her school day, and Yui and Azusa tried to engage excitedly, though when her small shoulders deflated it was clear that they hadn’t done a good job of doing so.
Hina silently scoffed as she shoved another bite into her mouth, suddenly anxious to finish. Even Yuta fussed in his seat, and it seemed no none could gently lull him to a calmer state.
Yui grimaced at it all.
It wasn’t supposed to turn out like this.
Everything should have been perfect by now.
Well, even Yui could admit that was a little farfetched. And impossible. She knew nothing was perfect, but it wasn’t supposed to be like this, with this oppressive air that refused to give.
“Azusa…” Yui said softly, voice cracking with barely contained emotion.
“Not now, Yui,” Azusa snapped back, her voice cracking with the same thick emotions. She let out a haughty scoff and glanced away. “It’s not like you’ll tell me something different, anyway.”
Yui winced as she clenched her fists. “It’s not like I can just say it…” She had been stuck in her internal plight, and had seen the results of keeping everything in. Despite the visible pain on Azusa’s face, despite the visible distress that weighed Yui down, the brunette found herself choking on any honesty that could have come out from deep within.
Azusa sucked in a deep breath and Yui shrank further in her seat. “Of course I wouldn’t, Yui!” Azusa cried. The sounds of movement and quiet chatter ceased. “You… after everything we promised… you won’t tell me anything! You said the other night it was your shop, so why won’t you let me help? Why?”
Yui squeezed her eyes shut as Azusa continued her bombardment of words, each one plucking her nerves until she shook with unbridled emotions. Yui sucked in a deep breath of her own as her mouth moved of its own accord and the words spewed out. “Because I’ve done it by myself just fine, I don’t need your help!”
The air froze and constricted around them.
Her eyes snapped open at the realization, and she looked across the table. Garnet eyes were wide, shaking with hurt and mouth agape. Tears streamed down her face and, despite the aggressive attempts to wipe her eyes, they continued to fall. Azusa sniffled, giving her face one last aggressive wipe before plucking up Yuta, who had begun lightly crying, from his spot at the table.
Yui’s weak, limp, hand reached out to her, only for it to fall at the sight of Azusa’s retreating back. Yuta didn’t even look at her, as he had burrowed his head into her shoulder and tiny fists grabbed at her clothes. Hina wordlessly got Ayumi’s attention and beckoned for her to follow her. Ayumi did, allowing Hina to push her forward.
With Ayumi out of the room, Hina paused. “… You… don’t want our help?”
The words shattered Yui. The brunette got up to a standing position. “N-no!” Hina’s torn expression crumpled further. “No, wait, that’s not what I-”
“Forget it!” Hina snapped and stormed off before Yui could finish. Yui’s hand, once again outstretched, grabbed at stiff air, and lingered for a moment. At the sound of a slamming door, and distant voices, she slumped into her chair. Her body curled into itself as she threw her head into her hands and gripped her brown locks.
It’s my own fault.
Tears pooled at her eyes before falling, and her body shook with her sobs. She bit her lip as she did her best to contain them, only causing more pain as it pushed against her stiff body, aching to be released.
She quickly took a deep breath and shot up from her seat. It would do no good for her family to see her in such a state, especially after all she had done to them. She quickly retrieved her stash of beer and sake, one that was hardly touched by Azusa and one the other woman kept an eye on for Yui’s own personal health.
Yui dragged her heavy body down the steps, into her shop, and into the backroom. The drinks clinked against the hardwood of her desk and she collapsed into her seat once again. Wasting no time, she opened one beer can, followed by another, and another until she had finished the pack.
The entire time, she could hardly hear everyone upstairs.
Yuta’s crying had dwindled down, and while she could vaguely hear light steps walking throughout the apartment, it had been mostly silent and still.
She sighed as she finished up her beer and lamented the consequences of her actions, allowing her depression to pour into the alcohol as she finished up all the beer and had moved on to the Sake. She happily allowed the burn of the drink to settle deep in her throat and stomach, mixing with the beer that had already turned her mind and body into a foggy buzz.
It wasn’t until she had drunk half the bottle that she lazily looked about her desk, careful of the spinning the action caused. The normally only slightly messy surface was now littered with empty cans, and she let out a huff.
She really didn’t want to clean it up, though it had gotten far late into the night, now surpassing into the early morning, and she was sure she wasn’t going to be very welcomed back upstairs. With a disgruntled sigh, she forced herself to stand up. The room spun faster, and her legs wobbled, causing her to nearly trip over her own feet.
Somehow, though she leaned heavily against her desk and walls, she managed to collect the cans into a bag. Proud of herself, she made her way to the back door that led to the alleyway. Wondering where to sleep and if she could make a makeshift bed out of empty, broken-down boxes, she stumbled out onto the street with more force than she had intended.
The door slammed against the wall, and she nearly tripped once more, though barely caught herself with her other hand. Slowly and sloppily, she stood upright in a drunken exaggerated motion and her gaze naturally landed to the space in front of her. Despite how much the world would just not stop spinning, she could tell there was someone in front of her.
She squinted her eyes. It seemed small as it was close to the ground, clad in all white with a sandy color framing the top of it… “Ah! You’re-” She shouted, taken uneven, drunken steps toward the girl as she freely grinned down at her.
“Drunk.” The girl hissed out. It was enough to make Yui pause as she looked at the teenage girl’s furious expression and glossy eyes.
“Huh? What’s wrong?” Yui took more steps towards her and the girl quickly staggered to her own feet, pushing Yui away.
“Fuck off!” She snarled, and Yui suddenly found herself on her back, gazing up at the tops of the buildings around her. And then suddenly Azusa’s concerned face was looking down at her, and Yui blinked. She was still in the alley, right?
“Yui?” Azusa shouted, pulling Yui’s attention back to her. Azusa cupped her face, then her gaze shifted to the side, towards the garbage back Yui had left the room with. “Yui…” She hushed out in a somber tone.
Yui quickly staggered to a sitting position with the help of Azusa. That girl. Her gaze snapped back to where the girl was, only now it was empty. No! Yui whipped her body around, ignoring the nausea that came with it. She saw her walking away, her own body looking far too tired for her young age. “W-wait!”
The girl stopped, if only to turn and look down on Yui with a scornful look. Azusa quickly moved closer to Yui, placing herself in front of the brunette. The girl turned her hateful gaze to Azusa for a moment before falling on Yui once again. “I don’t know why I thought you were different… you’re just like them.”
Like… who? Yui quickly ignored her thoughts as the girl began storming away.
“W-wait! Are you hurt? I wanna help!” She hoped she wasn’t slurring too much, she understood herself perfectly. Apparently, as did the girl, as the girl had spun around in anger again.
“I don’t need your help. I mean, just look at yourself!” Not even Yui’s drunken state that numbed her entire body hadn’t been enough to shield her from the vitriol words. The girl spun back around with one last lingering look at Yui. “I don’t need anyone’s help.”
She stormed away, and Yui could only hang her head as the girl’s words rang in her ears. Yeah… I guess she has a point. Even then, Yui knew she must have looked pathetic on that pavement, too inebriated to do anything on her own. Tears fell once again, and Yui pressed her head against the concrete.
She felt hands rubbing her back and threading through her hair. “Hey… let’s go to bed, okay?” Azusa hummed.
“But-”
“It’s okay. I don’t want you to sleep alone, not like this. Plus, I… didn’t like being in the bed alone…” Yui’s body felt too tired and heavy to do anything but nod. She allowed Azusa to help her up and together they stumbled up the steps, and into bed. Azusa made sure Yui had settled first, and had made sure there was water and painkillers on her nightstand before she slid under the sheets herself.
Azusa pulled Yui into her arms, and Yui easily placed her head on the other woman’s chest. Yui listened to Azusa’s heartbeat, allowing the soft thumps to soothe her aching body and mind. “I’m sorry, Azunyan. I didn’t mean what I said earlier, I just-”
“Sssh, we’ll talk tomorrow,” Azusa whispered back, but Yui shook her head against Azusa chest, refusing to give in to her heavy eyelids just yet.
“No, I…” She paused. “It’s not just the shop. That girl… I want to help her. I don’t think she’s as bad as everyone else thinks.”
Azusa hummed and threaded her fingers through Yui’s hair. “If you really think that’s true… you know, if anyone can reach out to her, it’d be you. I’ve told you before, haven’t I? That your positivity and outlook has saved me countless times? I’m sure it will be the same for that girl,” Azusa paused to give the top of Yui’s head a kiss. “I suppose I haven’t told you enough times, but I’ve always thought you could do anything. You just don’t have to do it alone.”
The words rushed over Yui, who turned her head into Azusa’s chest and cried, blubbering apologies and promises to make things right. Azusa silently held her, rubbing her back and peppering kisses where she could.
Finally, unconsciously came, and Azusa’s sweet hums welcomed her to the first pleasant dream she’d had in a while.