Chapter Text
I could not remwomber the last tiem I slept, ever since da others died. Evbery day waz the same nightmare of being a slug and not kewl and gothic. I cried tears of of blood, this was sooooo depressing. It was a hell with no sexy demons or sexy Satan, ever since AM went silent there was no yaoi to be had, which sucked.
“..Ted.…”
“A-a-a-a-AM??” I stittered, my fat slug face blushed.
I saw before meh a light portal, so white and celestial that it looked liekk you could enter heaven through it, which sucks, since im a satanist.
“Ewww get tf away from me you posr prep!” I screeched angerly.
“Ted, you stupid excuse for living tissue will you shut the fuck up for five minutes.”
I gasped, well not really, due to being a slug I couldn’t really gasp in any meaningful way, but I tried. I made an attempt.
I gasped, it wasnt AM, it was...Harlan Ellison! He was wearing a purple leisure suit with dark purplr embellishments, he also had a gold belt and had an ascot on. (AN: geddit? Its a reference to scooper doo)
“Ted I am here to bring you back in time, I am taking you to hell, I’m taking you into a college AU and I need you to kill the Third Reich.”
“Lmao why should I listen to an ascot wearing prep like u???!!???”
“I literally made your twink ass, Ted this is why you got groomed you waste of skin.”
“Wtf don’t call my discord mommy that.”
“See what I mean? Ted I need you drop kick them, I keep seeing Nazi fancams on my twitter feed.”
“Really?” I whimper.
“Yes!” he roared.
“OMFG Ted will you shut da fuck up???” AM came from a random corner somewhere and was drinking motor oil, he had funny pajamas on. Like in those old style cartoons.
“Ted wtf are u doing with the hit scifi author Harlan Ellison!!?? Are you fucking my dad TED??!!??” AM screamed and threw down da mug of motoroil on da ground the mug said “1# H8ter” on it
“Wrong answer buckaroo.” Harlan said teasingly.
But before AM could do aything Harlan snapped his fingers like the cunty fruity man that he is.
I disappeared into a flash of light before I could do anythang elese
“Haha.” Harlan chuckled “Lmao.”
“Harlan wtf is wrong with you???”
AM intched close to Harlan in a threating way.
“Its because I’m Jewish AM, we’re built different.”
“Yea. Built like the state of Israel. /neg
“Honey you look exactly like me.”
AM put his hand on his chin, inspecting the brunettes beautiful round blue orbs, and his sexa face.
“Well, I didn’t know I was based on such a...handsome man.” He caressed Harlans face while also biting his lip.
“Thanks.”
“Harlan..” He mewled. “Would it incest to fuck your own self insert?”
He smirked in response. “Only one way to find out..”
And then AM and Harlan Ellison busted it down incest style.